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It should really stop being a surprise. From the very first time they'd faced off against each other it'd been glaringly obvious that they were going to lose. But they kept trying, for fear of receiving a fate much worse. They were like pathetic, comic relief villains from some obnoxiously simple cartoon about friendship and discovering yourself. If he was being honest with himself, it was probably mostly if not all his own fault. His sister was ruthless but capable. She was by far the more successful of the two of them. Or rather she would be.
She had been the one to actually do the reversal spell after he'd researched it, his skill far less trustworthy than hers. It… hadn't exactly worked as he'd expected. But he couldn't bring himself to tell her that after she'd cocked her hip out and asked exasperatedly “well? Did it work?”
“You betcha!” He'd chirped out, giving her a goofy grin. It had, in a way, in that it had taken away the brunt of his affectionate feelings toward her. The only thing left was the cold emptiness and slight sting in his chest when he thought of her. He didn't love her anymore, but he missed her.
“Ugh, good. You were even grosser all loved out over that stupid princess.” He wanted to spit at her not to talk about her like that, but after years of bearing insults at himself he had learned when it was most appropriate to bite his tongue and move on. Truly, Iris was a nice girl but not enough to be humiliated over. Even less so when he was technically supposed to capture, maybe even kill her. Gramorr had never been too specific on that part. Praxina couldn't care less as long as she got to be destructive and show off.
He'd thought, without her occupying his thoughts, maybe things would be better. But instead it just hurt more every time he did think of her. How she was sweet, she was kind and selfless, and she befriended everyone and anyone. He wanted to be her friend, and it turned his stomach to think like that. Maybe it wasn't her specifically, maybe he just wanted an actual friend.
“Mephisto, PAY. ATTENTION.” His head snapped up and he barely had the presence of mind to move as an attack was directed at him. Mephisto let out a strangled noise as he bounced off the sharp peak of a rock and then tumbled behind it. He landed with a hard impact and struggled to regain his breath as the packed dirt knocked it out of his lungs. For a few moments he just laid there, rethinking all the points that lead him up to now. Maybe if he just stayed there Praxina would forget him and he wouldn't have to do this anymore.
“...Mephisto?” His eyes shifted toward the noise, her face dark in the halo of light framing her blonde hair. How oddly poetic.
“Iris.” He responded simply, limbs screaming at him to move or she was going to hurt him. He knew she wasn't like that though. Wasn't like them.
“Are you… Are you okay?” Her confusion was evident, not used to seeing the boisterous sibling so utterly defeated. But there was also concern, genuine worry for his wellbeing. Something inside him snapped, and then he was crying.
She made a panicked noise and scrambled down to his level, hands hovering over his trembling form in distress. This was so new to her, she didn't know exactly how she should react. Should she console him? Should she move on? They were meant to be enemies but… He was so sad, how could she leave him?
“Mephisto, could you talk to me, please? I just want to know what's wrong.” The sounds of battle were still waging, so obviously Talia and Auriana were still busy with his sister. Mephisto tried his best to quell his tears, then gently sat up to look her in the eyes.
“You're just, so nice. And to me, your enemy, the one who's tried to destroy you in many different ways on multiple occasions. However unsuccessful they might have been.” He looked at her with sincerity and slight disappointment. “I'm very tired of all of this, but I love my sister and I fear Gramorr. But I am a natural born failure. My interests and skills, or lack thereof, are highly conflicting. And you…” He sighed. “Here you are asking me if I'm okay and I don't even have an answer for you.”
“Oh, Mephisto…” Without thought, she gathered him into her arms and held him tight, and for a moment nothing hurt. Not physically or emotionally, she was just warm and open and kind and it soothed all of his aches. “I'm sorry. I can understand how hard it must be trying to hold onto something you don't have, and don't even want to have.” She carded her fingers through his hair and he let his eyes slip closed, her calm seeping through her fingertips and massaging into his scalp. It felt so nice, to receive approval without even having to try.
“It's how it has to be.” He said simply. “I may be bad at being bad, but I doubt I'd be much better at being good. But this, I appreciate this, Iris. And I hope you know that I don't actually want to hurt you. Not like I could if I did want to.”
Her hold on him tightened for a brief moment, then her arms slowly slid from around him and he felt empty again, cracking and splintering under an invisible pressure. He hurt again, so much worse, but so much easier to keep inside knowing he'd only hurt her by telling her such. With his sister it was easy because she didn't care, but Iris cared too much and he couldn't do that to her. “You could try, if you wanted to. We'd help you. Maybe Talia and Auriana wouldn't trust you at first but I want to let you have a chance.”
It was painful how generous she was. “I am dark and all that I am is dark, my broken pieces have no place stabbing any of you in the process of trying to help.” Her face crumbled and he reached out to her, brushing her hair behind her ear and lingering to cradle her face. He may not love her, but he couldn't deny that he wanted to. He couldn't deny that it would be nice. Softly, softer than he'd ever think to be with anyone else, he leaned forward and pressed the barest hint of a kiss to the crown of her head. Distantly, he registered that the sounds of battle had been replaced by his sister cursing. When he came away her eyes were closed, and when they opened they were shining. “Don't hurt for me.” He whispered. “Be happy for yourself.”
Then he was gone, and she was falling forward to catch him before she even realized. She wanted to be his friend, she wanted to save him, but she knew that Mephisto would never allow it.
He didn't think he deserved it.