Chapter Text
Growing up, Minho never wanted to feel like he was caged. He never wanted to feel like his freedom wasn't an option, like the freedom he is feeling in this very moment. Up in the rolling green hills, while the wind softly rustles his hair, he can't help but smile to himself. He loves this feeling more than life itself, feeling like he is on top of the world. The fresh, cool air, with barely any clouds in the sky, just makes a day like this absolutely perfect for Minho. He takes in the view of the city below as he walks along the stream of water and among the trees, humming and singing to himself.
He has been coming up these hills ever since he was a little boy, loving to explore as much as possible, wanting to see everything that life has to offer. As he turns back to look at the fantastic view of the city, he notices that the sun now seems pretty high in the sky. He left the abbey around 5 in the morning, so he could see the sunrise from the hills, which he considered a special treat. However, he is now realizing that he has been out much longer than he had realized. Just as he is thinking about heading back, he hears it very faintly in the distance. The bells of the abbey.
"Oh shit," He says to himself as he takes off down the hill. "Come on, come on, come on". He is trying not to fall over as he is running down, but as soon as he gets to flat ground, he books it as fast as he can. No way is he going to be late again. He doesn't want to disappoint Mother Jihyo, even if he feels like he can't help but want to explore. As Minho gets closer, he can hear the harmonizing voices of the women, echoing throughout the grey stone walls. 'Fuck I hope I'm not in too much trouble, ' he thinks to himself as he runs through the front gate. He decides to quickly run to the fountain in the center of the courtyard to splash water on his face. He knows his face is bright red, and if he doesn't cool down quickly, he will surely be caught because of how hard he was running. He is so focused on getting to the fountain that everything else around him fades.
He quickly scoops water into his hand and splashes his face a couple of times to try to cool off and get rid of any sweat. The second he is done, and he stands up to run again, he freezes in his tracks. Standing only fifteen feet away was Mother Jihyo, along with Sister Sana, Sister Momo, Sister Nayeon, and Sister Mina. They don't say anything, they just stare at him, like they already expected him to come barreling into the abbey with chaos, exactly like he did. He stared back all of three seconds before sighing, looking down, and quickly walking past them to go to the chapel. At least he doesn't have to run anymore, knowing he has been caught.
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Minho is reading in his room when a sudden knock appears on his door. He quickly bookmarks his page as he is standing, then sets the book down on his desk as he goes to open the door. He opens it to see Sister Sana standing there with a soft smile on her face. "Oh! Sister Sana," he says while quickly bowing to her. "Is there something you need?" "Mother has requested you in her office, and I have been asked to retrieve you." She says back, still with a soft smile on her face. Although that smile doesn't help with his sudden anxiety. "O-oh, well, u-uh, do you know what it's about? Do I need to bring anything?" He can't help but stutter, the sudden nerves overtaking him completely. Mother Jihyo has never punished him or been upset with him, but he still feels nervous. "No, Minho dear, I don't know why, but she just needs you to bring yourself. Would you like me to walk with you?" Sana offers. He has a feeling she can sense that he is nervous. She has always been attuned to his emotions. "Yes, please that would be very kind, thank you."
They link arms as they walk, giving him a sense of comfort that he desperately needs at this moment. 'Why in the world am I so nervous?'. He doesn't understand where all of this anxiety is coming from. He knows he shouldn't have gone out, but he is different from the others at the abbey. The first noticeable difference is that he is a male, and he is not there to become a nun. Therefore, he doesn't technically need to follow the abbey rules. He only does so (or tries to) out of respect. He seems to be so lost in his thoughts that he doesn't realize that they have made it to the office. Sana unlinks her arms with him, still smiling softly at him. She turns to knock on the door and then opens it slightly. He can't see inside; he doesn't even think he is ready to see the inside yet. "Mother Jiyho, I have Minho here with me. Are you ready for him?" "Send him in, please. Thank you, Sister Sana". He can hear her soft voice coming from the office. Sana turns to Minho, bows her head, and wishes him luck.
He pushes the door open to see Mother Jihyo sitting in her chair reading some paperwork, but she quickly looks up at him when she hears him come in. Minho looks down, shuts the door behind him, and quickly walks to her side, dropping to his knees. Jihyo reaches out to him, and he quickly, but gently, grabs her hand and kisses the top of it, still bowing his head, refusing to look up at her. "Minho, darling, please sit down." "I am so sorry, Mother, it's just- I saw the gates open and I couldn't help it, I just had to go out an-" "Minho, darling, I am not upset with you." She cuts off his rambling. "But Mother, you don't understand, I was singing and humming out on top of the hills without permission, and I snuck out. I am so sorry." He barely even registers that she isn't upset. Minho still feels like he needs to apologize sincerely, even if she said it was okay. "The rules of the abbey do not apply outside of these walls. Minho, you are free to sing as loud as you want out there. "You know how Sister Mina makes me kiss the ground every time I make a mistake and need to be punished? Well, lately I've been kissing the ground every time I see her coming just to save time. I find it difficult to sit still these days. Mother, I don't know what's wrong with me." Minho feels desperate. What he is desperate for, he doesn't know.
Jihyo stands from her chair and picks up a stray letter on her desk, quietly looking over it as if she is thinking. "You know, Minho, you may not like what I am about to say, but it seems like it is God's will that you leave this abbey, only for a little." Minho feels his jaw drop, and his eyes widen. Did he just hear that right? He looks up at her for the first time since entering the office out of pure shock. "W-what?" is all he can manage to get out. He still can't believe that she suggested he leave. This is his home, the only home he's ever had. How is he supposed to just leave? Where would he even go? Is she kicking him out to live on the streets? Was she actually upset, or did she just say she wasn't?
"Minho." He quickly snaps out of his thoughts. He realized that he was looking straight ahead, not even at Jihyo. He looks back at her with teary eyes as he tries to stammer out something, anything. "I-I can't j-just leave here wha- where would I go? I've lived here my whole life; there's no place else for me." Exactly Minho. You've been here your whole life, even though your heart desires more. There is nothing wrong with wanting to leave. It's time for you to go out in the world and find where you are meant to be." "But-" He starts to say until he sees the look on her face. Not one of disappointment, but one that says, 'Do not argue with me.' He looks down in submission, trying to blink back tears. "Well, if it's God's will, then I must."
"There is a family in need of a nanny until September." "September?!" Minho says in slight shock. It's only the end of March, how could he last that long away from his home? "To take care of six children." She continues on with her sentence. Minho feels his eyes go wide once again. "Six children?!" He exclaims, as he almost can't believe his ears. How is he, someone so inexperienced with children, supposed to suddenly be in charge of six? "You like children, Minho," Jihyo says while looking at Minho. He can tell by her eyes that she is slightly shocked by his reaction, obviously not expecting it. "W-well, yes, but six?" He says he is still feeling shocked. Mother Jihyo says nothing as she picks up her quill and dips it into some ink that has been left out on her desk. "I will tell Captain Bang to expect you tomorrow." Minho becomes confused at that. "Captain?" he asks while tilting his head. "A retired officer of the Imperial Navy, a fine man and a brave one." She says while looking directly at Minho. He slightly curls in on himself, already feeling intimidated by this man he's never met.
"His wife died seven years ago, leaving him with their six children. Now I understand he's had a most difficult time trying to keep a nanny there," she says. It seems almost as if she said it all in one breath; she spoke so quickly. Minho feels as if she is starting to become impatient with him, and decides he needs to just be quiet and accept whatever Mother Jihyo wants him to do. He's already caused enough trouble as it is. Apparently, though, that doesn't stop him from asking his next question, which is now causing him even more concern. "Uhm, why is it difficult, Mother?" Mother Jihyo looks up and smiles slightly. Her only response was, "the lord will show you on his own good time."
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Before Minho knows it, he is back in his room, packing up all of his belongings. He can't help but let some tears escape, knowing that tonight will be his last night in the abbey for quite some time. He doesn't have a lot of stuff to pack in the first place, so he finishes in under 30 minutes. His room shouldn't even be considered a room; it's more like a closet, but he is extremely grateful for it anyways. After all, it wasn't like the abbey was prepared to take in an orphan boy, yet they still did. Minho gets ready for bed and pulls the sheets back to let himself in.
About thirty minutes pass, but all Minho has been able to do is toss and turn, feeling restless and nervous as he tries to let sleep come to him naturally. He sits up as he finally gives up, staring into nothing. Well, he should at least make his last night memorable. Minho gets up and quickly puts on his slippers to sneak out of his room. It is well enough into the night that no one would be awake, so he isn't too worried about running into someone. He walks into the courtyard and lies down on the floor to stare up into the night sky. He hopes that wherever he goes, he will still be able to have nights like these, where he can look up freely at the beautiful constellations that take up the night sky. What else is he supposed to do when he's restless? Another 30 minutes passed, and Minho decided he was able to go to bed now. He quickly walks back to his room to once again tuck himself in, close his eyes, and finally let sleep wash over him.