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“I like you.”
Jaebum’s breath hitched slightly as the words left his roommate’s lips that night. A feeling of confusion etched across his face as he looked anywhere but at Youngjae who was only a bed away from him. Some nights the two would sit up and talk for hours on end but this night was completely different. Just the night prior to this Jaebum had admitted to liking Jinyoung, who happened to be Youngjae’s best friend, but it never occurred to Jaebum that Youngjae would like him.
“You’re kidding right?”
Youngjae took a deep breath at this response and a pang hit his heart immediately. It wasn’t like he was expecting some nice answer to this confession, not after finding out that his recent crush liked his best friend but he couldn’t help but speak his feelings. He really shouldn’t have and he really should have kept his mouth shut, but it came out and there was nothing Youngjae could do about it.
Maybe he thought that Jaebum would change his mind after hearing the confession or maybe Youngjae thought that Jaebum was only kidding about liking Jinyoung, but after that reaction Youngjae knew it was not going to work out.
“Why would I be kidding?” Youngjae finally spoke through the silence that rested on the two of them. It was a recent crush that Youngjae developed for Jaebum but after two weeks of feeling this he knew that it was more than a simple crush.
“You have to be kidding.” Jaebum responded and Youngjae’s heart cracked just slightly at the tone of voice that came from Jaebum’s lips.
“I am being serious. Jaebum, I like you.” Youngjae stated and rolled to look down at Jaebum in his bed. “I know we’ve known each other for a while now, but I really believe I’ve got feeling for you.” He could recall the times in high school between the two of them but all he could think of were the times that Jaebum wanted to be around because of Jinyoung.
There was a silence after that as Jaebum finally took in the confession. Youngjae couldn’t help but think of all of the times that Jaebum was with Jinyoung and suddenly he wanted to cry from not realizing it sooner. Jaebum wasn’t ever going to like him; Jaebum was stubborn and was not going to give up his feelings for Jinyoung.
Just last night Youngjae listened to Jaebum talk about his crush and about how much he liked him. He could recall the time the three of them went to prom together as a group and how Jaebum only said he was going after he knew for sure Jinyoung was going. Was Jaebum even friends with Youngjae?
“I’m sorry, but I don’t like you.” Jaebum’s answer felt like a dead weight on Youngjae’s heart. It was like he was the boat and Jaebum’s response was the anchor pulling him towards the bottom of the ocean. Youngjae really felt like crying but before a single tear could drop he heard a sniffle coming from Jaebum’s bed and instantly he knew that Jaebum was crying.
“W-Why are you crying?” Youngjae asked with a slight stutter. He was supposed to be the sad one right now; he was supposed to be crying.
“I’m so sorry.” Jaebum spoke through the tears. “I just don’t like you that way. You’re my best friend Youngjae, I just never saw you that way.” He explained and just that explanation caused the first tear to finally drop from Youngjae’s eyes. “I just don’t see you in that way, I’m so sorry.”
Silence rested once more on the two as they both cried. It took a while before Youngjae finally found his voice and spoke, “It’s okay, I just wanted to let you know about my feelings.” He knew it was not going to work out and he knew that it was never going to change. “Are we still friends?”
“Yeah, as long as you want to be my friend.” Jaebum said as he sat up completely in his bed.
“Of course.” Youngjae nodded. “Let’s get to sleep.”
Jaebum didn’t know what came over him as he reached over and gave Youngjae a hug. “Okay, thank you for understanding.”
Youngjae accepted the hug and cried on his shoulder. “I’m glad I was able to tell you at least.” Jaebum nodded into the hug and finally let go.
Jaebum went to sleep shortly after that with only the sound of his snores coming from his mouth. Youngjae just laid there and cried, only wishing that his night would have been anything else but what had happened but he understood that there was nothing he could do about it.
He was rejected and now it was time to move on and get over this useless crush of his.