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It’s six in the morning, and today will be the first day of their class trip that everyone actually gets to go on the slopes.
Farkle wakes up, gets dressed, and makes his way downstairs to get some reading done. He’s not going to let a class trip get in the way of his study time. He thinks about knocking on the girls’ door to see if Smackle’s up, but it’s still pretty early so he just shuffles past their door through the hallway and down the staircase. He’s surprised to hear hushed voices coming from the lounge, so he steps quietly on each stair as to not alarm the people of his presence. The bay window comes into view and he discovers that it’s Riley and Evan, the guy who works at the ski lodge.
Have they been down here all night? Farkle asks himself.
Farkle sees Riley softly giggle and Evan push a piece of hair out of her face. Riley’s fingers go over the place where his hand just was as a blush forms on her face.
Who does this guy think he is?
Evan tells Riley that he has to get ready for work, and then he leaves through the front entrance. He watches Riley let her head fall back against the window with a smile on her face.
“Riley, what are you doing?” Farkle asks as he walks over to the bay window and sits down next to her.
She doesn’t immediately recognize the hostility in his voice, so she responds with a smile. “I honestly didn’t realize how late it was,” she pauses to look at the clock on the wall and then continues, “or should I say how early it was!”
“Obviously not,” Farkle replies crassly. It comes out a lot meaner than he expected, and he’s honestly not even sure why he’s so bothered by this guy sitting with Riley in the first place. Or maybe he does know, but he doesn’t want to acknowledge it.
Riley catches on then and is taken aback by his tone.
“Are you mad at me? What did I do?” Riley asks with both annoyance and sadness evident in her voice.
“What?” Farkle blurts out, a little shocked that she called him out on what he said. “No, it’s just…you don’t know that guy, Riley. Why are you staying up alone with him down here?”
“Farkle, I appreciate your concern, but is it really your business to tell me what I can and can’t do with guys?”
“No, I guess it’s not,” he says in a defeated tone.
He stands up from the bay window and doesn’t look back at her as he goes upstairs to return to his room. All of the sudden, he doesn’t feel like reading anymore.
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Farkle thinks he will need to try really hard to avoid Riley after what happened in the morning, but it’s not as hard as he thinks because she does a good job at ignoring him herself. As the class prepares for the slopes, he can’t help but notice the little exchanges between Riley and Evan. He sees the obnoxious smiles and the exaggerated flirtatious gestures. He doesn’t want to watch, but he realizes that he can’t look away as they happen. A thought comes to his mind: How would Riley react if it was him doing those things?
Smackle’s hand suddenly grabs Farkle’s, reminding him that he should be paying attention to her.
Once she has his attention, Smackle says, “Hey, I know you will be taking the more challenging slope. Be careful, okay?” Then, she stands on her tip toes and kisses him. Even though it’s quick, he stands there paralyzed. That’s not something he was expecting. She’s never done that before. Farkle thinks he should feel something now, something like attraction or excitement, but all he feels is awkwardness.
No, that’s not right, he thinks.
And for the first time that day, he feels Riley’s eyes on him. He recognizes that face she’s has right now. To everyone else, it’s a smile. To him, it’s her upset face.
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When it starts to get dark outside, the whole group finally takes time to relax in the lounge by the fireplace.
Zay comes up behind Farkle and pats him on the back. “Farkle, I’m happy for you! I heard you and Smackle were together on the slopes and it happened.”
Farkle sees Riley out of the corner of his eye following the conversation. She’s pretending to listen to some other students talk about their day, but he can tell she’s not really paying attention.
Zay continues, “Was that your first kiss?”
Farkle lets out a small laugh, knowing Zay wants the details so he can probably retell the story in the future. He glances at Riley before he replies, “Yeah. Yeah it was.”
He can just barely see the way Riley’s mouth forms a frown at his words. He had been the one, after all, that said they shouldn’t lie to each other, but here he is lying to one of his friends.
Zay gives him a teasing smile and then walks over to Lucas and Maya, leaving Farkle to reminisce about that day so long ago on stage with Riley and Maya. He doesn’t tell Zay that he considers the kiss he shared with Riley then as his first.
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Everyone starts heading to their rooms when it gets late, but Riley lingers by the bay window and keeps her eyes on Farkle. He takes that as a signal to stay.
The noise in the room dies down as the last couple of students make their way up the stairs. Farkle sits down at the bay window next to Riley, waiting for her to explain why they didn’t following their friends.
“So, she really kissed you?” she says softly. Riley was there when it happened, so Farkle figures her question is more a sign of shock as opposed to disbelief.
“She did. It took me by surprise when she leaned in.”
“I’m sure it was great.”
“Are you? Because I’m not so sure,” he says and pauses to look at her. Then, he lowers his head to look down at his lap where he’s folding and unfolding his hands over and over again. “After it happened, she asked me if I liked it, and you know what I said? I said I don’t know. Riley, I felt nothing.”
“Did you tell her that?”
“Yes. She was really hurt, but I felt I owed her the truth. She said she wanted space, so that’s what I’m giving her. Should I be more upset about this?”
“I don’t know if I’m the best person to discuss these things with, Farkle. Especially after what happened this morning. I don’t think we’re good at talking about our feelings for other people.”
“Then, let’s not do that. Let’s talk about different feelings instead,” he says. He’s fully aware he’s about to change the entire conversation. He continues in a whisper as if he’s afraid to let the words out, “Our feelings.”
Farkle sees tears start to form in Riley’s eyes, and he takes in a breath and holds it there. Her tears validate what he had been only guessing at, that she indeed does feel something for him.
Riley’s fingers swipe at her eyes before she speaks. “Farkle, let’s pretend we could do whatever we want right now. Let’s pretend it’s just us. No responsibilities, no worries. If we were just existing in this moment, and if you had no inhibitions, what would you do right now?”
The answer comes out of his mouth before he can even properly complete his thought. “I would kiss you,” he responds immediately, and then continues, “I would kiss you, just to see how it feels. To see if we feel something.”
Riley admits in a whisper, “I wouldn’t stop you.”
Farkle thinks about where they are. Just this morning Riley had been enjoying herself, even flirting, with another guy, and he had been standing by his girlfriend’s side. He forces himself to remember the complexity of their lives and that there isn’t really an opportunity to have no inhibitions. Not right now.
“But we can’t” he finally says.
Riley’s stays quite for a minute, processing his response. Then, she looks directly at him as she decides, “You’re right. It’s not the right time. Maybe…maybe we’ll be the kind of people that go through life on separate paths at first, and then later we’ll find our way back to each other somehow. Maybe right now is not our time, but later it will be.”
Farkle nods in agreement, not really knowing what to say. He feels like he should be sadder about this than he actually is, but he accepts her words with a strange sense of familiarity. He’s never really given himself the freedom to entertain the thought of them actually being together, but now that that exact scenario is flooding his thoughts, he can’t help but wonder what he’s missed out on. He doesn’t allow himself to find out.
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In the morning, Riley hugs Evan and they exchange phone numbers. He promises to text her every day.
As they leave the building, Farkle glances at the bay window one more time. It’s the spot where their conversation will remain forever. It will stay behind as they board the bus for home.
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It’s been one week since the trip.
On Monday, Farkle and Smackle tried to make it work. On Tuesday, she broke up with him. He stayed in bed all day Wednesday, and finally accepted the situation on Thursday.
Now, as Farkle is sitting in English class on Friday, he thinks he hears Riley tell Maya how Evan hasn’t replied to her texts all week. Everything is sort of a blur around him, and really he’s just waiting for the bell to ring, but he thinks that’s what he heard. If he didn’t know any better, he would think that Riley doesn’t sound sad about it.
There’s one more minute until class is over, and Farkle’s eyes stay glued on the clock as the seconds tick away. He hears Riley’s name being called by the teacher, and as every second passes, he unconsciously chants her name in his head.
Riley. Riley. Riley.
It’s not the right time. We’ll find our way back to each other.
The bell rings and everyone gets up around him as he stays seated. He catches sight of her right as she leaves the classroom, but he doesn’t want her to leave. He needs to catch up to her. He needs to talk to her and prove her wrong.
Now is their time.
Farkle races into the hallway and sees everyone except her, so he runs to the entrance of the school and pushes open the front doors. He’s never liked running, but if his destination is Riley, he’d do it forever just to reach her.
He finds her descending the stairs to the street and cuts her off before she makes a turn. Standing in front of her, he grabs onto her shoulder and tries to catch his breath.
“Riley, what you said when we were at the ski lodge, it’s not right. I don’t want to wait. I don’t want to wait until later in our lives. I don’t want to live separate lives, because every day I would just be thinking about you. I don’t need any more time to realize that I want you right now.”
Riley tries so very hard to conceal the huge smile that appears on her face. She takes his hand that’s resting on her shoulder and holds it firmly in her own before asking, “No inhibitions right now?”
“None come to mind,” Farkle says with a smile.
Riley wastes no time leaning in to kiss him, lingering for a long while before pulling back. Then, she grips his hand more firmly, and the two of them smile at each other as they welcome now.