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the main plot is that elsa’s sister anna is getting married soon and anna is like, “you have to bring a date to the wedding!!!” but elsa, the Secret Gay, knows she cannot get the date her dead parents would wish she would bring. so, she turns to Steve
steve, the Also Secret Gay but is Actually Secret Bi, agrees to help elsa in her endeavor to pretend to be straight. until his old friend and former tryst bucky barnes blows back into town
elsa and steve pretend all the way up until the wedding day to be totally In Love all the while steve has been running back and forth between bucky and elsa, his romance subplot with bucky having reawakened his True Love for the man, but his duty to elsa as her beard keeping he and bucky’s romance at bay. elsa shakes some sense into him. “get your head in the game, rogers!”
all the while elsa and anna’s best friend have been hitting it off amazingly well during the entire movie. particularly there’s a scene at a restaurant during the dress rehearsal for the reception. they sit at the bar together, share drinks, laugh, joke about both of their love for elsa’s sister. there’s a tender moment of meaningful “we’re so about to be in love in the progression of this plot later” staring. steve is forced to interrupt because Elsa your Gay is showing
there’s a big blowout between steve and bucky. bucky demands full transparancy, to drop the beard and for steve to actually profess his love. “i can’t live like this anymore!” is said. “fine, run away, just like you did last time!” steve shouts back. dead silence. oh no. oh hell no. bucky grabs his stuff and leaves. steve sinks back into his couch and wonders what he’s done. later that night, the night before anna’s wedding, elsa calls. steve does not answer. bucky texts. he’s on a flight back to brooklyn for tomorrow night
so it’s the wedding day and all throughout the day elsa and steve, steve now not having the distraction of his former boyfriend, perform perfectly as a couple. but steve is hollow. he knows what he’s done. meanwhile elsa and anna’s best friend keep making eyes at each other throughout the whole wedding ceremony
elsa notices steve keeps checking his phone during the ceremony. keeps checking the time. she sighs. she knows what this is about, she had chewed him out for not responding to her call and he’d told her why. sadly, she watches as her sister and her now brother-in-law kiss before the alter and their witnesses, and she knows she’s the reason steve has lost his One True Love
it’s the reception. steve and elsa don’t stick as close together anymore. steve has been spiraling into an even worse state as the night goes on and time ticks away to bucky’s flight departure. elsa hangs out alone at the bar when anna’s best friend goes over to her
“you seem a little down.”
“yeah, well, you would be too if you knew.”
“knew what?”
elsa takes a look at steve across the ballroom, still on his phone, one hand sliding down his face in despair.
“how it feels to ruin everything you touch.”
anna’s best friend stares at elsa for a moment, then shakes her head.
“you know, you can be pretty clueless sometimes,” she says. she gets a little bit closer to elsa, the two of them now touching shoulder-to-shoulder. “if you think you need to make
something right, make it right.” anna’s best friend says, looking so obviously at elsa’s lips before meeting her eyes again. elsa swallows. it looks like they’re about to kiss and then-
“there’s something i have to do.”
elsa flees the scene. anna’s best friend sighs and shakes her head.
“typical,” she says, taking elsa’s drink
elsa sits at the table steve is moping at. she’s calculated it in her head. bucky’s flight leaves at 11 pm. it’s currently 9:30 pm. the drive to the airport, taking into account current
traffic, would be one hour and ten minutes, leaving steve with 20 minutes to race through customs, bagging, and slow escalators to get to bucky in time before he boards his flight. “take my car.”
“how will you get home?”
elsa casts a glance at anna’s best friend.
“i’ll manage.”
steve, awash in gratitude, gives elsa one last tight hug before running out of the reception to go catch his One True Love
elsa goes back to anna’s best friend
“care to dance?” she asks
“thought you would never ask,” the best friend replies
meanwhile, steve races to bucky, going just a little bit over the speed limit and being just a little bit of a regrettable asshole while driving. he gets there five minutes early. he runs through the airport, gets to the ticket booth
“please, sir, you have to understand. i may not have a ticket but i need to get through. it’s for-”
“it’s for true love, i got it,” the man behind the booth, Stan Lee, replies. “go to him, son.”
steve smiles and takes off sprinting again
and there he is, there’s bucky. after impatiently sitting through airport security, accidentally running to the wrong terminal, and with two minutes left to spare, there’s james buchanan barnes and the love of steven grant rogers’ life
“bucky!” steve calls out
bucky turns to look at him from the boarding line, absolutely stunned
“who the hell-”
“Flight 101 to Brooklyn, now boarding.”
bucky looks at steve, who looks at bucky, who looks at steve, who looks at bucky. the line pushes bucky forward. steve loses hope as he watches his One True Love be pushed forward by the masses. all of a sudden, bucky springs from the crowd and runs to steve. steve catches bucky in his arms. the two spin around together, smiling and laughing. they share a long, meaningful kiss and know that they’re each other’s forever now
meanwhile, elsa and anna’s best friend have spent the whole night together dancing and laughing. it felt so natural. it felt so right. elsa just can’t hold herself back any longer. she leans in for the kiss. the best friend leans in too. their lips meet and the world explodes into color, a rainbow if you will
they share their moment of passion and when they come to, almost the entire ballroom is staring. but it is not with hatred or disgust. they stare with a fondness one always sees when two young lovers have finally done what they were meant to do. anna rushes over
“ha! i knew it!” she screams, grappling them both in a bear hug to end all bear hugs. quickly olaf and sten join the embrace, all cheering and celebrating. then kristoff, lifting them all off the floor with his hug
“i don’t know what’s going on but woo!”
and they all lived Happily Ever After