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A distant voice rings in Orel's ears. His eyes drift to the reverend, Orel isn't quite sure what he's saying, he's not sure he really knows what anyones saying anymore.
Tired eyes slip to the cardboard cut out of a pink bunny. Luke 24:5, ‘Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is not here. But has risen’.
The gabbing hole next to Orel reminds that he's not here, he stares at the once rightist man’s seat. ‘He couldn't even come to church?’ The words bubble and explode in his body and he battles to keep it down. The holiest man in moralten, really is that what he used to think? He's too cowardly to even come to church, let alone be a good enough person to be holy.
“So the next time you look and see nothing, have a little hope… for me” The reverend's voice cuts through the boy's thoughts. again Orel looks to his fathers absence, As he mulls over the man's words.
Orel knew himself, He was so upset at his dad. When he thought about the hunting trip. His eyes watered, his throat locked up, and yet at the same time it felt like the bullet had left a burning in his knee that traveled to his heart. A new kind of burning rath that lapped at Orel soul. But the insane thing was he wanted his dad to be sitting there with a glass of whisky, humming his fake hum, acting carefree.
Before Orel knows it he's sitting in an empty church. ‘Great’ he thinks, as he grabs the only thing supporting him. He crunches slowly to the doors, pain shooting through his leg with each movement. As he steps outside he pulls his notepad out. There's only one thing written down today: ‘hope’. He lifts his head to find nothing. ‘Huh, even Putty doesn't wanna deal with me today’ Orel thinks another new feeling blooms in his chest, a throbbing numbness, a numbness that was somehow somber. He doesn't have to look around to know that the car’s gone. He just starts limping back home.
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The sound of glass and porcelain crashing down on hardwood rings through the dull empty house. Orel limbs into the kitchen, his mother is ripping the dishes out of the cupboards.
For the first time in a while Oral feels alarm flood into his limbs. Shapey, and block huddled close to one another. When another plate hits the floor Orel feels himself jerk back. He hears his raging heart beat in his ears. And he wants to run, he wants anything but to be in this house. He doesn't wanna be around his frantic mother, he doesn't wanna be around his violent father. He wants so badly for it to disappear. But he stands there like a tree being whipped around by the aggressive wind. He didn't want to run like his father.
What can he do then? His trembling hand rests the phone mounted to the wall. Where, even was his dad? Should he even call him? What other option did he have?
Orel diles the bar, he knows his dad is there often. He lifts the unsteady phone to his ear as he tries to block out the crashing of silverware, and uncontrollable huffs of his mother. The first ring ripples through his ear, He’ll pick up, right? The second ring. He has too, It's easter. The third ring. His family needs him. The line cuts. I need him.
The hurricane around him continues as he tries again, and again, and again. He's not here, God reminds. Orel cuts the 15th phone call short with a clunk of the phone hitting the receiver. He holds his hand there as he stares at the once clean floors. He can still see his reflection, it's just blurred.
“Mom.” Shapy says, It's the first time he's heard his little brother speak sense before the hunting trip. Orel turns to look at his little brother, messy blonde locks, and big innocent eyes. A tiny hand grips their mothers dress “When I'm thirsty, it feels, how I feel when I'm alone.”
Orel’s muscles lose all energy, his shoulders drop and he feels like he's going to collapse. He looks at his mother, She's confused, he's never seen that look on her face. Hope, was it? That Orel should have a little hope. But, what's there to hope for? Nothing is the same, everyone is different, everything is different. He is different. Orel turns away from his brother, he doesn't know how to feel. “Things sure have changed around here.”