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"Shirley, why are we driving so far for snacks?"
"Hm?"
"We just passed another gas station."
"That's because many of them are abysmal! The surcharge on their inventory is downright criminal. I have the best of the bunch picked out."
"Since when? You love the one by the bakery. Besides, we have membership cards at almost all of zhem."
"Yes, and? Why does that matter, my dear? Can a man not want to save as much money as possible for his lovely daughter's shelf-stable Turkish delights?? No loyalty is worth a 12% tax."
"Is zhis the one on Royal highway? By zhe Crown University?”
“Why yes it is.”
“Shirley zhat’s zhe most expensive station in zhe area.”
"..."
". . ."
". . . . . ."
"Zhis is zhe one zhat Asian man works at, isn–"
"MY LOOK AT THAT WE HAVE ARRIVED." I about drifted the car swinging into the car park. Poor Iris was unphased. The girl just giggled as I kicked the parking brake twice to get it to stick.
"Oh boy." The audacity! Wherever could that sass have come from? Certainly not her father. No, absolutely not. I merely shook my head at her as we clambered out of the half-scrapped Beamer.
"Oh hush. You're getting your snacks, are you not?" I bumped her shoulder with my hip, one hand propped on the other, pointing accusingly as if daring to drag me from our flat. I was planning to toil the day away looking through the paper for odd jobs and what restaurants both serve soup AND deliver, thank you very much. I had a craving for minestrone and still had leftover notes to burn after a particularly hefty tip on last week's work. It was going to be treats for all! Alas. Swedish fish would have to make up for the leftover aches throughout both wrists. I rubbed one absently as we popped the doors open to the soft tinkling bell. Sometimes I forgot I was not a twenty-something anymore– not even close. It had been four years since I was a twenty-anything. The prospect of even nearing my forties kept me awake more nights than I liked to admit. Less for myself and more for her, hmhmh. I still cannot believe she's ten. Where did it go? Into pictures on the mantle and dust in our antique setee's cushions is where.
"Twenty-five minutes later zhan we needed to." Iris poked my side with a huff, her hair scattering in all directions as the chillers above the doorway hit it. She never minded when it was this late at night. The intricate loops were already mostly-undone. It spoke to just how tired she really was– and wasn't that the point of all this? I could not believe she was ten; I could not believe I had spent almost every night of those in a place other than a bed. The thing lay abandoned in its room. The comforter's wrinkles caught dust like we caught fireflies in the summer. Sometimes– when she was especially burned out from a day amongst peers who truly didn't understand her and she turned in early enough so she not allow herself the space to find out how loneliness feels– Sometimes I would sit on the edge of the mattress and simply stare, trying to remember when I last buried myself in its covers. Sometimes my eyes even wandered to the other side to imagine bodies there. Warm, welcoming, comforting embraces that would give me reason to return to the bed at all.
Of course, Iris came first, and never would I allow my own desires to supercede hers.
But ah, that didn't mean I could not spare a few pennies to drive a little further than our old haunts…
"Good evening." I called. The young man behind the counter's name was Ryuunosuke. He worked here with a friend while working his post-grad for law during the day. Such work tended to bleed the man dry– his eyes were even more raccoonish than mine! Even after months of living in England, his body’s clock could not seem to shake that of Japan’s night and day. So, unfortunately, he slept anytime between classes and could only manage to work this shift. No, I had not been eavesdropping on his conversations from the crisps aisle and I would appreciate it if you did not project such rude actions onto me.
"Hello." He shook his head and sat up straight with a start. "Do you need any– oh, it's you." His posture loosened as he fully woke up. Does he ever look at his bed like I look at mine? With such longing?
"Dreaming of perfection, were you?" I hummed, resting my cheek on my hand and my arm on the counter and batting my eyes so fine. Behind me, Iris blew a raspberry before stalking off to her own section— away from all the ‘gross adults’. I scuffed my shoe at her.
“No sir, I wasn’t asleep.” He said— and the silence that followed made my skin crawl. Well that went swimmingly, Holmes.
“Well in that case, I simply must give you a recommendation for a good place to stay!”
“Mr. Holmes, I have a flat, thank you.” Another swing and a miss. Is he just dense or rejecting me? It was frankly difficult to tell. His deadpan could indicate both exhaustion and disdain. Much like a certain ex— why did I find myself attracted to such men? Besides the point! On one hand… I was quite forthright about my intentions with that one, so rejection it must be! On the other… he clearly had been listening into my conversations with Iris like I his, therefore his interest must be piqued and he’s simply too tired to tell! I was at a stalemate, and worse, the emptiness in the air was beginning to stretch to uncomfortable lengths.
Think of something, good Lord, man! Anything! My hand wandered over the locked cases of lottery and of cigarettes until it stopped, tapping on a nondescript black box. Snatching it up I wracked my brain for some cleverness to cast upon him. A joke, incantation! Blast! Where’s a witch when I actually need one?
“Ah… aha!” No wait that’s— oh my God you’re already speaking. “I see your inventory of condoms are almost out of date. I could help you turn that all that stock around mighty quickly~.”
“293.87.”
I blinked. “What?”
He did not blink. “That’s 293 pounds. And 87 pence. Have fun.”
“…”
“. . .”
“Did— did you just do all that math off the top of your head?”
Ryuunosuke’s face was overtaken by a much more… red expression. I gasped. My in! I slammed the box on the counter, almost rumpling the corners.
“You memorized how much they are, you dog!”
“No, NO NO! I did not!” He waved his hands so frantically I could not help but laugh harder and harder.
“Yes, you did! You didn’t even take one look at the price, oh good Heavens, my man ahahahahah! No wonder you’re always so tired!” I clutched myself. It had been a long time since someone other than my daughter had made me double over. My stomach rolled and I worried I might throw up as he glared with his hands on his hips— oh I couldn’t take it! Iris peeked out from behind an end cap, a face like a sheet of ice twas so flat and cold.
“Shirley, please don’t asphyxiate, I don’t know your wallet’s passcode and I haven’t checked zhese out yet,” She sighed, one arm full of various sweets and snacks. She pat my back with her free hand. “Don’t mind him, Mister. My daddy’s a very good man. He just gets nervous around attractive people because he’s very bad at flirting. He hasn’t been on a date in years.”
My jaw was on the floor. She single-handedly halted all spasming in my diaphragm in mere moments! There was nothing I could conjure to say. The only thing saving my last shred of dignity was the fact Ryuunosuke was just as flustered as I.
“Oh- uh, no it’s fine, we were just— Wait.” He looked between us. A few times, actually. Then his entire body slumped like rags and I swore I could see the sweat bead on his brow. “ You’re Shirley?!”
I shook my voice from its stupor, “Y-Yes?”
“Oh my God.” He dropped his head onto the counter. Ooookay. Down we go! Pressing my cheek into the ancient scratched glass, I caught his eye from behind the curtain of his sleeve. Brilliant, almost solid black, just a shade short of it. Whoever said brown eyes weren’t the most stunning of all the colors? They must have been a lunatic. It sparkled with life— a laughter of its own. It seems at least I’ve made his night, in some small way. That, at least, soothed any lingering turmoil at the prospect of teasing the poor man. He didn’t completely abhor me.
“Whaht?” I was quite muffled by the smushing of my face. Still, it got him to grin– I could see the crow’s feet! Even better!
Glancing off juuuust a moment, I could hear a smirk in his voice, “I thought Shirley was your wife…”
“A WIFE?” I exploded back. Iris took a side-step to avoid the fallout of my rigour. One cheek burned brighter than the other. “No- oh no—”
“YEAH, yeah, I know that now !” Ryuunosuke did not bother to move much. He was already sitting on a stool. He merely rested his chin on top of his arms rather than behind them.
“Ah… no. Though I am quite the open-minded chap, I…” I glanced at Iris. The sugary little cretin. She had already opened one of the wrappers and was too busy popping snowballs and sipping on a slurpie that had appeared from thin air to notice my pointed look– oh, but she was surely listening much to my chagrin. “I have not had a partner in quite some time, no,” I shrugged. “Such is life.”
“A date would do him some good, Mister, and I promise to make him pay his half,” She pushed one of the candies across the counter. It left a powdery trail leading from one brilliant person to another. “Consider zhis a rain cheque for more to come.” I hissed but knew by now there was no chance I was escaping this inevitability. The girl seemed to be determined to play Cupid. I suppose, well. If that’s what she wants for me. Perhaps…
Ryuunosuke watched her. I watched him. His expression was exceptionally soft. He pinched the treat and squished it between his fingers. I do not think the man did anything in halves. It either was a true commitment or was never attempted. Where a hundred million ideas scattered my mind, a single finished thought crossed his. We could both use a touch of the inverse, couldn’t we? Perhaps we had both been wrapped up in our own worlds too long now.
“Fine,” He popped the sweet in his mouth. “But I pick the place.”
And, perhaps, I had a reason to redress the sheets.
“Done!”
“I would have paid!”
“Mmm, zheir slurpee mix is good. Did you see zhey had blackberry too?”
“I would!”
“You’re right Shirley, we should come back here again. Every night, in fact.”
“I am a gentleman, I will have you know– in fact, i-i-in fact I was going to pay for us both!”
“Zhey get snowballs. Zhe one by zhe bakery doesn’t have snowballs .”
“Are you listening to me?? Iris!”
The girl just giggled at my tantrum as she always did– as if I didn’t do the same. She piled into her seat and gave me the most lovely look in the world. I could never know what I did to deserve her.
“I like him. So let’s come back tomorrow. Okay, Shirley?”
I allowed myself to smile. It was over a decade in the making, if one was to be honest with himself.
“Alright, my dear. Of course.”
“And, Iris…”
“Yes?”
“Thank you.”
“WE FORGOT MY SWEDISH FISH!”
“And his number.”
“AND HIS NUMBER– BLAST IT ALL. HOW COULD YOU L ET ME FORGET SUCH A THING WAS TH IS YOUR PLAN TO MAKE SURE WE RETU RNED YOUNG LADY I WILL HA VE YOU KNOW ……