Archive of Our Own

Prologue

Noelle is sixteen when Dess is dead.

She’s the same age as her sister the day she had gone missing. By law, a person is declared dead after seven years have passed, but that can be applied differently to monsters for the sole fact that, if they’re dead, their dust would be near impossible to find. That’s why they halved the time when the case went cold, and when their phones did not ring once with her on the other end of the line.

Noelle thought she had already cried her tears dry the first year Dess couldn’t be found. She had only been twelve then, and before that she hardly ever cried. Then, she thought that she wouldn’t grief as hard during Dess’ funeral, because she had done so much in the last four years.

But when she saw Kris arrive with their whole family, whole family, she locked eyes with Asriel for only a second before her entire persona came crashing down. He came rushing over immediately, but it also didn’t take long for him to join in on her sobbing. 

When the funeral comes to an end, they do so without any dust being spread. Noelle’s mother thought it’d be insincere to do a faux version of this tradition, but Noelle knows it’s because she hasn’t given up either yet.

Part I

Before you are three items.

A gaming console Asriel got you for your fifteenth birthday. He had saved up his first few paychecks just to afford it. At that point in time, it would be one of the first ever things you owned that would be entirely yours and not just a hand-me-down from him.

A computer your mom initially bought for Asriel, but eventually became yours when he hardly ever used it. It was supposed to be for Asriel’s “job stuff”, according to your mom, though it was clear that she had only bought it for the sake of it. After all, she had been so proud and elated when Asriel got accepted into his dream job—she wanted to help as much as possible.

The bird cage you’d put me in when you don’t want me around.

You’re down to your final box, and while you can get another one if you so wish to fit all three items, it certainly wouldn’t fit in your mom’s car when Noelle and Susie’s things would be packed in the back along with your things.

You take the computer, but we both know you had wanted the bird cage. 

You’re supposed to meet up with Noelle after you’re done packing all your things into boxes and moving them downstairs, because she would need help carrying them from her place to your place. They would drive to her house to skip that hassle, but Noelle insisted they meet and move from your house.

You take the box with your computer downstairs to put along with the other boxes sitting in your living room. There’s not a lot, so it doesn’t block the way, but you can imagine how much it’ll stack once Susie’s things get here too. You wonder if you should wait for Susie to get here first before heading to Noelle’s.

As if reading your mind, your mom, who’s in the kitchen preparing breakfast for when the two girls come over, tells you, “I’ll be here to open the door for Susie, so why don’t you go pick Noelle up first? It’ll be faster that way.”

You nod and head out, making your way down to the Holiday’s residence.

When you get to their front gate, interacting with it doesn’t let me check if it’s locked. Instead, you just… climb over the gate. You do it with so much ease, it’s almost like you’ve done it so many times before. You land on the other side comfortably and keep moving.

As you reach the door, you hear a conversation through it.

“You’re not taking Dess’ guitar, that’s final.” this is Carol. You can tell from how firm and cold she sounds. And also because if it was Noelle, you would know.

“Okay! Then… I don’t know. Her flannel, or something? Mom, you have to let me take something. I just want something,” now this is Noelle. You would think she’d sound more distressed, given the subject, but you think she sounds borderline fed up or irritated.

“No, nothing. You can’t take any of her things with you,” Carol replies. “You’re leaving for college, Noelle, and I don’t know…”

A pause that lasts for too long, to which Noelle slowly clears with, “Whether I’ll come home…?”

“Whether her things will be safe so far away from home,” Carol corrects, once she’s found the words. “You don’t think she’ll be upset if she finds even a single shoe missing from her room?”

“She won’t find it because she’s not here anymore,” Noelle says.

This pause that follows sounds more dangerous than the last. You make the quick decision to knock. It comes down once, and a little too soft, but they hear it anyway.

“Kris is here,” Noelle says. “If you won’t let me have anything from Dess, then I just won’t take anything. Okay?”

(Begrudingly, Noelle thinks about how she’d stop thinking of Dess out of spite. Then tell her mother it’ll be her fault she won’t miss her sister anymore. However, truthfully, that’s not something she would do. Doesn’t change the fact that Noelle is still mad, though.)

When Noelle opens the door, she greets you with a smile. All her boxes are stacked near the doorway, so it’s an easy slip in and out. Carol greets you from a distance, the corner of her lips ticked up in an almost half-hearted smile. Like she’s only doing it for the pleasantries. In her hand is Dess’ guitar.

“How many boxes can you take?” Noelle asks. She has five boxes. You go to check them out.

Box number one has all her keepsakes. Trinkets and items from her room, things that would go on her desk, or her drawer, or a shelf in her closet. Box two has her decorative items. Posters, framed photos, and other similar things she’d put up on the wall. Box three contains some of her clothes, ones that she doesn’t wear as often as the ones she has packed in her luggage.

Box four is for her computer and all items related. Box five is empty, but you assume that’s because it had been dedicated to bringing Dess’ things along. Still, it looks like Noelle wants to take it with her anyway. Just in case, probably.

You make a move away from the boxes and try to get to Dess’ room, but Carol stops you.

“I wouldn’t try,” Carol tells you politely. But you know I would. You decide to talk to her instead, now that she’s in front of you. “You know I wouldn’t have minded having you all drive here instead to pick Noelle up. I’m sure that would’ve been easier.”

You tell Carol it’s because your mom has made breakfast for Noelle, instead of telling her that it’s because Noelle had wanted it this way.

“Oh, I see. Tell your mother I said thank you,” Carol smiles.

You ask about the guitar.

“You know whose it is,” Carol answers. “It’s not right for Noelle to take it with her.”

You ask if there can be alternatives.

“Of course not,” Carol replies. “But she’s already taken framed photos of her sister with her. I’m sure that’s enough.”

You’re sure it isn’t. You then ask about Carol’s feelings on Noelle going to college.

“I’m just glad she agreed to the political science degree,” Carol sighs contently, like a warrior speaking of old battles they’ve won. “Once I said she could go with web design as her minor instead, she took my advice.” Then her face pulls into a frown, “Oh, but if only I could’ve helped her get a single apartment instead of rooming with you two and one more stranger in a shared one. Oh well.”

With nothing else to say, you return back to the boxes where Noelle is waiting. Talking to her prompts the same question she asked before, but this time you answer ‘five’.

“Huh?” Noelle replies. “That’s all the boxes though. Can you really carry that many?”

“Been deadlift-ing the family car since I was in diapers,” you answer. 

She laughs, “Fahahaha, sure you were.”

But to her absolute surprise, you pick up all five boxes. On top of your head.

“Wow. Okay.” she says, then glances at the door. “Maybe you should’ve done that outside?”

It’s okay. It’ll work out.

It works out.

“So you can carry them in your hands,” Noelle says, hands on her hips once the both of you were outside. “You just don’t want to.”

You shrug your shoulders at her, she rolls her eyes and laughs again.

The two of you make your way towards the front gate, which Noelle eyes somewhat suspiciously. It seems she suspects you climbed over it again, despite the gate being unlocked from the start—since they were expecting your arrival. Regardless, she doesn’t say anything.

On your walk back home, the moment the two of you had stepped out of the room, Noelle begins to ramble, hands flying, eyebrows furrowing, as she tells you how she had planned to bring one of Dess’ things with her as a lucky charm of sorts. She expected her mom to not let her, so she prepared a whole dialogue to convince her.

“Deep down,” Noelle sighs. “I sort of already knew it was gonna be useless.”

You can imagine how she feels. There were some things that belonged to Dess that Asriel hadn’t returned to Carol when Dess went missing. Part because Carol didn’t think to ask, part because Asriel didn’t think to confess. When he left for college, he brought one of her flannels in his closet with her. At Dess’ funeral, he gave it back to Carol.

Once you’ve made it home with Noelle, you set the boxes down with yours. Although they’re pretty much indistinguishable, yours are a little more tattered than Noelle’s, who most likely had hers bought brand new just for the occasion. Along with both your boxes, are three more ones sloppily labelled ‘Susie’.

Noelle greets your mom as the two of you enter the kitchen, and you tell your mom about Carol and her thank you. Your mom smiles politely, but you know it’s the same smile Carol used when you came over earlier. She then leaves the three of you be, but gently reminds that you all should be out and ready before noon arrives.

“Hey!” Susie waves from the table, greeting the both of you. In front of her is a tall stack of pancakes, but you think it was even taller than that before the two of you arrived. “Noelle, I kept your pancakes warm!”

“Oh! Thanks!” Noelle flushes, as though they have not been dating for the last year. 

“Yeah! In my mouth!” Susie points. “Here! Open wide!”

“Oh.” Noelle blinks. “Erm. Well, I think… I will have my pancakes in full.”

“Suit yourself.” Susie rolls her shoulders. “What about you, Kris?”

You’d say yes for the heck of it, but you already ate this morning. So you decline, much to your annoyance.

You sit with the two of them anyway. Susie takes some pancakes off of her plate and puts it on Noelle’s, who eats it much slower than her girlfriend does, but with her cheeks just as full. You are tempted to poke, for fun, so you do.

“Hey!” Noelle laughs, swatting your hand away.

“Try mine!” Susie leans in, after stuffing one side as best as she can. You poke. It’s solid. “Maximum storage!”

While your friends ate, with Susie occasionally going on about how excited she is to live with them, and Noelle agreeing with her, there comes a knock at the door. You get up from your seat to go answer it, leaving them to chat in the background. When you open the door, letting in whoever’s on the other side, Asriel steps in.

“Asriel!” Noelle gasps, immediately getting up to go greet him. Susie joins along, trailing behind her. “I thought you had work today!”

“Yeah, I took time off to help y’all,” Asriel answers, hands stuffed into his jeans. Then he looks over at you, surprised. “You didn’t tell them that mom told you I’ll be driving your boxes to your apartment?” 

Yes, you didn’t think to tell me?

Noelle, Susie and Asriel proceed to have a conversation among the three of them. It’s the plan I should’ve known. Asriel wanted to take a break from work anyway and thought coming to help would be a good excuse to get away. While he drives your things up to your apartment, the three of you will be taking the bus there instead. It’ll take longer, but he doesn’t mind waiting downstairs for the three of you to arrive.

If he’s lucky, he’ll bump into your roommate occupying the fourth room, who might let him inside first to set your boxes down. When did your mom tell you this? Why didn’t I know?

You make an excuse that comes out mostly unintelligible to your friends and your brother, before heading upstairs. This doesn’t have to be a big deal. You lock the door behind you and stare at the bird cage. 

“Unlike you, I don’t know what you’re thinking. Much less what you know and what you don’t know.”

But I don’t know anything unless you tell me. I don’t always know what you know.

“And I can’t tell when you’re awake and when you’re not. Mom told me this last night. You were there.”

I wasn’t.

“I didn’t know that!” hushed, but no less frustrated. “I didn’t tell Noelle and Susie because you didn’t let me. I couldn’t tell you because I thought you knew. I thought you were doing this on purpose. Again.”

Any mistake I make is never on purpose. You know this.

“Don’t put words in my head, because I don’t. I don’t know this. What I do know is that my hands are tied when you’re awake, and you can’t be blaming me when things don’t go your way. You’re already frustrating as it is.”

Why can’t you just talk to me?

“Right. Talk to the entity that’s controlling my body. You don’t know how rare that opportunity actually comes up.” resignation, defeat. “If it’s gonna be like this when I go to college, I don’t know how I’m gonna make it.”

You’ll be okay.

“Easy for you to say,” exhaustion. “You can just do this over until you get it right. But you’re not always going to be here. Every time you leave, I’m always afraid of when you’ll come back.”

You don’t have to be. You’ve survived with and without me. You can get through college just the same. You will. You’ll go back downstairs and talk to your brother, and then you’ll take the bus with your friends and leave for college. I’ll do the best I can to make things right for you while I’m here, so it’s easier for you to keep going when I’m not.

You stare at the bird cage a little longer, but eventually pull your eyes away from it.

Then, you move to your window and climb out.

You move to your door to head back inside, but stop yourself. There’s something you need to do, before you leave for college. You turn and head down the street, but every other path you go, you stop yourself. There’s something you need to do.

Eventually, all signs pointed you back to the Holiday’s residence. Again, you climb the gate. This time, instead of the door, you scale the walls with familiarity, and find yourself in Noelle’s room, entering through her window. You remain at her couch, but before you can move or advance forward, you promptly thrust your hand into your chest and pull me out.

You gesture towards the vents, haggardly, and then toss me forward. Not entirely understanding what you want from me, aside from telling me to get into the vents, I move towards the vent and get inside. Checking around the area, I aimlessly wander along the metal walls, and eventually find myself in the vent leading to Dess’ room.

It’s empty.

I move along, to the kitchen, to the toilet, and eventually, to the basement. It’s hard to tell where Carol is, but she’s surely in the house. Somehow Kris knows this. So, the best I can do to distract her—assuming that’s what they want—is to give her something to distract herself with.

I turn the power out.

I quickly head back to Noelle’s room, where Kris is. Where you are. I return back to your body. Then, you head to Dess’ room. It starts to click what your motives are.

Taking the guitar is a bit too on the nose and will surely get you caught, so it’s best to take something smaller. You’d take a shirt, or a jacket, but that falls under the same issue. So you move to her box of random junk and dig for the bottom-most item and end up pulling out a pair of red scissors. The blades are wide, with faded flames on them that seems part of its overall design.

When you were younger, and Dess was still here, and the two of you hung out loads because she was friends with your brother, you had looked up to her a lot. You’ve always thought she was cool. Her and her short hair. Her and her faded jeans, loose t-shirts, oversized jackets.

You had asked if she looked that way because she wanted to be a boy. She laughed, saying she loved being a girl that dressed this way. And then, the next moment, you suddenly told her that you’ve always felt like you wanted to be neither. You had a feeling she’d get it immediately, and she did.

Then she cut your hair the very same day, with these same pair of scissors.

Although this is a gift for Noelle, you’re sure she’ll appreciate the sentiment, even if you have memories attached to this item too. After all, you miss her just the same. 

The lights come back on, and since the windows lock from the inside, you manage to unlock the window to slip out. Hopefully, by the time Carol checks this window, you’ll be long gone. Fingers crossed, she might just give these scissors up and let it go this one time.

When you make it home, you enter through the bathroom window, which can look like you just came down from your room if the rest are still in the living room. As you walk over, Asriel lights up, waving you over to join them at the couch. 

It looks like Susie and Noelle had finished breakfast forever ago and even washed up. Now they’re just waiting for you with their bags packed at their feet. Yours sits at Asriel’s, leaning against his leg. The boxes are gone now, most likely loaded into the car.

“What took you so long?” Asriel grins and you sit beside him, squeezed between him and Noelle. “Noelle was just telling me about her web design minor. Didn’t think she’d get this attached after all these years.”

“Yeah, well,” Noelle tucks her hair back with a flush. “Dess liked it too.”

“Clearly!” Susie barks out a laugh. “Kris, you said your brother confessed to her using a website, didn’t he?”

Asriel flusters, “You told her that?”

You did, at some point. But you can’t recall the story now.

“Yeah! They said you were so cheesy with it! I think they showed me the webpage while they were telling me this. The amount of roses you used. With all those pics you put on there, and the font and the colors. I thought we were gonna get a virus!” Susie laughs.

“Well, then, I guess you could say I totally infected her,” Asriel grins somewhat smugly. You roll your eyes, which he catches, and he nudges you. “Hey! But I got better! Didn’t you see the blog I helped Noelle set up?”

“ What? But that thing is beautiful!” Susie blinks.

“Um, I did… improve it over the years,” Noelle smiles. “So it doesn’t really look the same as it did when Asriel helped.”

“Gah, I’m wounded,” Asriel clutches his chest. “How I’ve fallen! And now Noelle’s gonna get even better than me!”

“Maybe you should’ve picked up web design too, then,” Susie snorts.

“Nah, I wanted to focus on criminology as much as possible,” Asriel swats a hand, before getting up. He hands your duffle bag to you, then swings the car keys around his finger, gesturing towards the door. “Anyway, let’s head out. I’ll give you guys a head start, since I’ll be getting there first anyway.” 

As you all make your way towards the door, you pull Noelle back for a moment, who turns in confusion. Then, you dig through your inventory and produce the scissors from Dess’ room to her. She instantly recognzies it.

“Oh, Kris,” her eyes water a little, from how touched she is. “Where’d you get this?”

You decide not to stress her out, saying you found it in your room. That’s why you took so long to come downstairs.

“If you were looking for it, we could’ve come up and helped,” she takes it gently and holds it close. 

You tell her you wanted it to be a surprise.

“Yeah, it really was,” Noelle nods softly. “Thanks, Kris.”

Asriel waits by the car while Susie waits at the end of the driveway. Noelle joins her girlfriend by her side, saying they’ll move when you’re ready. You decide to speak to Asriel first, before heading off.

“Feels like yesterday when I headed off to college,” he tells you. You don’t miss it one bit. “Now you’re going to college. You gotta tell me how TV production goes once you finish your first semester. It sounds really fun.”

You don’t doubt him. You picked it for a reason, after all. You ask how his work has been going.

“Well, you know,” Asriel rolls his shoulders with this bored or tired expression on his face. “It’s usually slow. Not much mysteries to solve as a detective these days, even in the next town over.” then he smiles, “But it’s nice to do good in this world.”

You ask how his first day of moving to college was like for him.

“Kinda no different from what you’re doing right now,” Asriel says with a small smile. “Except I didn’t have two awesome friends coming with me. You’re one lucky fella.”

You definitely feel like it. You contemplate asking if he’s found Dess said. You contemplate because why would you ask such a thing. He’s never mentioned anything about this before, trying to find her. It’s just an odd thing to say. He wouldn’t like hearing it. You wouldn’t like asking you. You don’t ask.

As you move to Susie and Noelle, Susie shouts for Asriel to, “Race us! Start that car! I bet we can get to the bus stop before you can pull out of this town!”

Asriel chuckles, amused by her energy, “I don’t think so.”

“What?” Susie smirks. “Scared you’ll lose?”

Beside her, you grin smugly. Like you’re challenging him too. 

He bleets out a laugh, “Alright, alright.” Then gets into the driver’s seat. Similarly, you and Susie get ready to run.

Noelle looks between the both of you with widened eyes, “You don’t seriously think we’ll outrun a car?” 

“Not with that mentality!” Susie says loudly, grabbing Noelle by the hand. The reindeer bursts into flames, folding immediately. Then, faster than you can catch it, she yells, “Okay, 3, 2, 1. Go!” 

The three of you run and Asriel starts the car. You hear it rolling behind you, then past you, and just vaguely you catch Asriel smirking at you and Susie as you all run towards the bus stop.

By the time you three do make it to the bus stop, Asriel has the car parked on the other side of the road, possibly gloating his victory. Noelle pants about how her legs ache while Susie snaps her fingers saying they were almost close to beating him. This is not true. He got here a full three minutes before them. 

In any case, it’s always fun to do something stupid like this, so you see no losses. 

Somehow right on cue, the bus begins to pull up from the distance. Perhaps if you had not run over here, you might’ve missed this bus. Noelle smiles in relief, realizing the run had not been a totally bad idea, though you know that even if the bus hadn’t shown up, she still wouldn’t complain.

When the bus pulls up, the three of you get ready to lug your baggage on. Noelle stands first in line, with Susie in second, and you in third. Then, the doors open, and Noelle squeaks.

It’s Dess.

DELTARUNE

By Toby Fox

-Retelling Writer-

Boba (Philiah)

|

|

|

Interlude

It had been strange to Asriel that the bus was taking longer than usual to leave and initially dismissed it as them struggling to get on the bus, but then when it took even longer than that possibility, Asriel started to get worried.

He locked the car doors and looked both ways before heading around from the back of the bus to see what’s up, and he swears his stomach dropped.

It’s her. December Holiday. No different from when he last knew her when she was sixteen. Just older, worn, maybe a little tired. Still just as beautiful, even after all these years. Noelle is a bumbling mess in her arms, crying about how they had a funeral and everything, and Kris stands in the back with this empty look to them, like they’re not really present. Possibly in shock.

Asriel immediately rushes over, grabbing Dess by the shoulder, and she turns to look at him. This is the first time he’ll be seeing her eyes again, and though he remembers them to be softer and rounder, today they are sharp and guarded. But she smiles anyway.

“Well, isn’t this a reunion?” she laughs. It sounds like a scoff. “At this point, mom might just jump out from the bushes.”

“You kids should…,” Asriel glances over at an awkward Susie, a crying Noelle, and an absolutely shell shocked Kris. “Get on the bus. You’re holding up the driver’s time, and mom wanted you guys leaving before noon.”

“No, no. Dess just got here, I can’t just go yet,” Noelle clings and Dess doesn’t think to reach over and cling back. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Asriel rests his hand on Noelle’s. “Look. The passenger seat is empty. I can just take Dess with me, and you’ll have plenty of time to catch up. I just gotta… we just gotta report this in. You know. Gotta declare her not dead and… all that.”

Noelle sniffs, wiping away a tear. She starts to calm down.

“Gotta listen to Azzy here,” Dess stiffly pats Noelle between her antlers. He hasn’t heard that nickname in forever, at least from her. “I’m back for good now, ‘kay? So I’ll see ya laters.”

“You promise,” Noelle looks at her sister, then at Asriel.

“Pinky,” Asriel waves the same finger. Dess grins in agreement.

“Okay,” Noelle sniffles again. Susie takes her luggage for her as they climb up into the bus, and by then Kris has finally returned from their frozen state. Something about them suddenly seems different too, as they swap from having the duffle bag rest normally on their shoulder, to pulling it onto their back and holding the straps with their fingers on their shoulder.

“See you at the apartment,” Kris murmurs, passing Asriel and Dess both, before getting on the bus. The door shuts, and the bus finally pulls out.

Now it’s just him and her.

“Where have you been?” Asriel stresses, holding onto her wrist. Loose, so it wouldn’t hurt. But also tight enough so she can’t slip away. 

“About,” Dess shrugs. “So we gonna declare me not dead or what? And I have a feeling my mom might wanna see me again.”

Which becomes an understatement, because Carol had almost sounded the church bells to announce the return of her first daughter. Asriel thinks this may be the first time she’s seen that lady cry. But the whole town had found out that Dess was back anyway, mostly because Dess had insisted they walk home, and so everyone saw her out and about while they walked. It took almost forever to get to the Holiday’s place, because people kept surrounding her like some big shot celebrity to see if she really did come back.

There was so much to be done, now that Dess was back, to the point Asriel thought they wouldn’t get it done by today. In the back of his mind, he worries they wouldn’t be able to fulfill Noelle’s promise. But after two hours have gone by, and everything’s been signed and put into order on Dess’ part, she was finally free to get back on track. 

Though Carol had insisted she stay and rest, because all that wandering must’ve definitely tired the poor girl out, Dess said she had a promise to keep with her sister. But something about the way Dess had said it felt like she was only using it as an excuse to get out, but Asriel decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Finally, they walked back to the car together, and Dess slipped into the passenger seat. She carries with her the same backpack she had on when she first got off the bus, unwilling to separate with it. So, paranoia creeps into the back of Asriel’s mind, because that backpack is all she really needs for her to get out of here again. She can just disappear, like that, again.

He continues to keep her in good faith, and then he starts to drive.

“What music you got in here?” Dess asks as she tinkers with the radio system, hooves raising to rest on the dashboard, but Asriel gently pushes them off. She keeps them off.

“Nothing, really. I didn’t think to bring any CDs with me,” Asriel answers softly.

“That’s okay. I got some on me,” Dess smiles, unzipping her bag to pull out a cracked CD case. It’s unlabelled, and so is the CD itself. This must be good. 

A band he’s never heard of starts playing through the speakers. Something along the lines of rock, he’s sure. He waits for the beat to drop and transition into heavy metal like it always does when she plays her music, but it never comes. So it’s either she’s changed her tastes, or she remembers he isn’t a giant fan of anything but good electric guitar riffs.

The drive is mostly silent. Distantly he’s sure the three are almost there, and he’s not even halfway into the journey yet.

“So, college, huh?” Dess says.

“Yup.” Asriel nods.

“Missed yours. Almost missed theirs.”

“Uh huh.”

“Fun.”

Asriel looks over at Dess for a moment, just to get an idea of what she’s feeling. But she’s still the same as ever. Stiff, guarded, sharp. He turns his eyes back onto the road. It’s not exactly awkward, but there’s a weird boundary line he’s seeing. He just can’t tell where exactly it is, and how many steps it’ll take before he crosses it.

“So, like,” Dess continues. “How’d you guys… do my funeral, or whatever?”

“Um,” Asriel replies. “At the church. Normally, when there’s no dust, you kinda… simulate it, I guess? Well, it’s what people would commonly do.”

“Oh?” Dess smiles at him, perking with interest.

“We didn’t do that.” Asriel says. “Your mom didn’t want to. Said it’ll be like you’re really dead. She was still holding out, y’know.”

“Ah.” Dess falls back against her seat again. “Right. Guess she was, uh, correct for that.”

“Mhm.”

“So, mm, did everyone show up…?”

Asriel makes a face, attempting to recall the particularly painful memory, “I think so? Small town. Plus, you’re the mayor’s daughter. It’d be rude not to.”

“Bratty too?”

“Pretty sure, yeah.”

“Huh.” Dess stares straight ahead. “Bratty too.”

“Why?” Asriel furrows his brows, partially amused by how much she cares. “You think she wouldn’t?”

“Thought she hated me,” Dess scratches her chin. “Since you confessed to me and everything.”

“Yeah but she didn’t want you dead,” Asriel says in exasperation. “Nor would she have liked it.”

“Oh, well. Sounds like someone’s been getting to know other people while I was away,” Dess snorts.

And then Asriel stops the car, jolting them two forward. They would’ve gone flying if they hadn’t had their seatbelts on, and it’s a fortunate thing that the boxes are packed in such a way that prevented moments like these from leading into a disaster.

“What?” Dess shoots, irritated by the sudden surprise.

“Why are you acting like that?” Asriel asks, distressed by her aloof yet almost snarky attitude. Fortunately, the road is empty, so it’ll be okay if they stop here for a while. “You were gone for six years, not a couple of days. Years!”

“Yeah? And I’m back now,” Dess bites back. “I think I’m allowed to joke about my presumed death and whatever.”

“Except for the fact that we didn’t know you were going to even come back!” Asriel says. “Do you know how many people cried over you? Thought you were actually dead? Tried to move on and give up hope? Do you know how much I…”

“Missed me?” Dess tilts her head, smiling up at him.

“I became a detective to look for you, Dess,” Asriel says. “And now that you’re back. I don’t know… what I’m supposed to do.”

“Quit?”

“But how do you move from this grief?” Asriel turns to her, leaking from the corner of his eye. “You’re here now, and everything should be great. But why do I still feel so sad about you?”

Dess shifts in her seat, visibly put off and nervous, but eventually caves into the feeling in the air, “I just didn’t want to make this a big deal. I’m sorry.”

“Then will you tell me where you were this whole time?”

She grimaces, shrugging her shoulders, “Like I said. About. Around.”

He sighs. Deep, slow and tired. Then starts the car up again.

“Hey, if it’s anything… I missed you too,” Dess mumbles, without really looking at him.

“Then why’d you leave in the first place?” Asriel asks in a whisper.

She doesn’t answer.

It doesn’t make sense to him. The Dess he knew was so much more kinder than this. Even if she was a bit of a troublemaker at times, she cared. She cared what people felt, and she understood why people felt the way they did. She never really took things so lightly this way, never made fun of it. A person’s feelings was a serious matter to her.

Maybe the reason why he still feels so lost, and why it doesn’t feel like she’s back, is because, to him, December Holiday isn’t home. The girl sitting beside him in the passenger seat is a completely different person, packaged to look the same. Rough on the outside, rough on the inside. Even the sweeter bits that seem to come don’t seem genuine.

He doesn’t know if it’s worse that some parts of him still loves her.

Part II

It takes a while, but they find their apartment after they got off the bus. The last time they got here, Toriel had driven them, so they never quite figured out how to get there from the bus stop. But the distance between shouldn’t be that far, so they eventually found their way.

The ride had been long enough for the three of them to collect their thoughts, which was exactly what the three of them were doing the entire time. They had planned to fill the journey up with games, but they eventually reached the end of the road without touching their playing cards to play extreme go-fish once.

(You’re supposed to find the cards you need as fast as possible, or your opponent becomes allowed to snatch the card right from your hands.)

Susie had been thinking about the absolute rollercoaster of a situation that whole ordeal was at the bus stop. She didn’t recognize the reindeer as quick as Noelle did, but her striking blue horns similar to Carol Holiday’s antlers were a major dead giveaway to the situation that was about to follow.

So when Noelle started bawling, and Susie was lost on what to do, she had hoped that Kris could assist in the situation. But even her friend there was shocked stiff and hardly moving. They probably weren’t even blinking either. She knew how big of a deal December was to them both, but nothing could’ve prepared her for this.

Noelle had been thinking about how she had slowly started to move on from her sister, and she was almost there when Dess just decided to come back. All their years spent trying to let go, achieving it, only for it to not matter in the end. It felt awful. How was she supposed to face her sister and admit that, in some ways, she had given up on her?

Her mother was right to have stopped her from taking Dess’ guitar. Noelle could only imagine how Dess would’ve felt if she went back to her room, only to find it missing of her things. Acting as if she was actually dead. The whole ride, Noelle felt as though the scissors Kris got for her weighed like a ton of bricks.

Kris had been thinking about how quiet everything suddenly went. They had only seen Dess for a brief second when everything went dark, but they knew they were still there. Just not entirely there. A part of them just suddenly went…silent. And then they realized, it was gone. The thing in them…wasn’t just asleep. It was entirely gone.

Of course its body was still in them, so it won’t be long before it returns for another chapter of their life. But that won’t be till ages. They just assumed it would be sticking around for longer, considering college is such a big step for them. 

After they recovered, they played it natural, then spent the entire ride silently celebrating the return of their autonomy, and also apparently the return of Dess, which registered far later than it should have. But could she blame them? The entity that occasionally controls their body just went on holiday.

By the time they got to their apartment, the mood sort of went back to normal. They had already anticipated for Asriel to be late—much to Susie’s glee because, to her, they had won the race to getting here—so they headed upstairs first to get properly acquainted with their new living arrangement, and to also meet their new roommate, if they’re already there.

The first thing they notice, as they got nearer to their door, is the smell of cake. They weren’t entirely sure where it was coming from, but they got their confirmation as the three of them stood outside their door.

Susie is the one to unlock it, and they all step inside.

“Oh!” from the kitchen, a goat monster with round glasses appears. He carries with him a gigantic plate of cake, taller than him if he sets it on the ground. It almost threatens to lick the ceiling with cream, but apparently he knows well enough to not raise it too high to let that happen. “Welcome, new roommates!”

“Hey, man,” Susie says, though she’s making more eye contact with the cake than she is with him. “Whatcha got there?”

“It’s for the three of you!” he beams, peaking from the side of the cake. “I’m Ralsei, by the way.”

“Susie,” she introduces.

“Noelle,” she dips her head politely.

The two wait for Kris.

“Um, I’m guessing that last one is Kris?” he asks. He’d point if he had the hands for it. They nod, to confirm this assumption

“How did you know!” Susie exclaims. “Are you a wizard?”

“Erm. No. I read the list?” Ralsei says, stepping back into the kitchen so he can rest the cake on the counter. They follow him, still in the middle of their conversation. “You know…the roommate list they gave you…?”

“Oh yeah,” Susie scratches the back of her head. “Think that was dinner?”

“Wow, what a memory. You remember you read it during dinner?” Ralsei smiles with sincere astonishment.

“Naw, I ate it. The list. For dinner,” Susie shakes her head with a grin.

Ralsei blinks, “Um. Uh. Okay. That- Well, you still remembered it was dinner! So, that… Right, anyway. You all can dig into the cake now! Just baked it fresh from the oven!”

Susie smiles, rubbing her hands as she advances forward towards the cake, “Don’t mind if I do!”

“Aren’t your friends gonna—”

In one fell swoop, Susie lifts the entire cake up into the air—promptly staining the ceiling—and drops it down into her mouth in one gulp. Kris walks over to Susie, who leans forward expecting them to get a lick off the leftovers on the corners of her mouth, but instead they point upwards towards the ceiling.

“Oh, I gotcha!” Susie raises her friend up into the air while standing on the counter herself, to which then Kris proceeded to scrape the ceiling clean with their hands.

“I have! Paper towels here!” Ralsei waves so Kris can take it. Only to realize, to his absolute surprise, that Kris had intended to eat the cream left on the ceiling. Which is exactly what they’re doing now.

“I’m sorry about them,” Noelle apologizes. “It’ll be like this for the rest of you knowing them.”

“Well, never a dull day then!” Ralsei beams. She smiles back, appreciating the optimism.

“Hey! Noelle! You want some?” Susie gestures to her face, where there’s still leftovers Kris turned down earlier.

“Ah, er, fahahaha,” Noelle looks away, flustered. Then, she caves. “Okay!”

Ralsei watches as Susie shoves her face into Noelle’s, who eats the leftover cake like a starved animal. While that happens, Susie catches the kitchen in better view, and spots the assortment of kitchenware decorating the place. When Noelle says she’s done, Susie gives her face one lick over—just in case she missed a spot—and checks the kitchen out up close.

“Hey! I don’t remember these being here the last time we came over to check this place out,” Susie points. The different types of pots and pans, the trays she’s seen Toriel used when she baked her pies, and other things she’s only seen in department stores.

“Oh! That’s because they’re mine,” Ralsei bounces over, displaying just a fair bit of pride in his collection. “You three will never have to worry about meals when I’m around!”

“That’s so awesome!” Susie cheers, turning to Kris. “Right?”

Kris, who has gone from eating the ceiling cake from their hands, to digging through the fridge, shoots Susie a thumbs up in agreement. Noelle nods eagerly as well.

“Well, I wouldn’t mind cooking too,” Noelle hums with a smile. “Kris and I are quite sufficient in the kitchen too! Ms Toriel taught us a few things so we’d be able to survive on our own.”

“She was basically worried we’ll start eating from the trash if we don’t pick up a few recipes,” Susie half whispers to Ralsei. “But I’m gonna do it anyway!”

Ralsei glances over at Noelle, having the impression she’s only one with a bit of sense in her, but finds that she’s absolutely lovestruck. When he tries to look at Kris, he thinks they might be daydreaming about the same eating habits too. Genuinely a fascinating collection he has here.

“Anyway, I suppose it’s about time the three of you unpack,” Ralsei says with a smile, glancing over at their things, before tilting to see if there’s any more. “Oh, is that all you’ve brought with you?”

“Nah,” Susie says with a bat of a hand. “Kris’ brother is supposed to help drive ‘em over here, but he’s kinda running late because of something. I’m pretty sure he’ll call when he gets here, though.”

At the mention of that, Noelle’s mood suddenly drops, and Susie hears the alarm bells sound in her head. She shifts her body to close the gap between them, just to make her presence closer and warmer for Noelle to calm her herself with. Then, as a distraction, maybe:

“Hey, while we wait. Let’s check out your room! Room tour!” Susie whoops, throwing a fist into the air. Kris perks like a dog with curiosity, and Ralsei stiffens.

“Oh, well. I don’t know.” Ralsei frets. “There’s not much to see…and honestly it’s kind of a mess right now since I just moved in—”

“Oh my runes, guys it’s a mess. Now we have to check it out,” Susie cackles, to which Ralsei reacts with urgency. He quickly makes a beeline towards his door, barricading it with his body. “Hah! Nice try, nerd. But I didn’t know which room was yours until ya did that!”

“Drats,” Ralsei sighs and Susie comes barreling through, tugging Noelle along, who giggles in amusement. Kris follows along behind them, but by then the revelation had already been made.

The room was absolutely barren.

“What happened here?” Susie gapes in shock. “Y’know they gave us like free furniture to work with, right?”

“With not the best quality,” Ralsei clarifies.

“So, what? Your entire room had faulty and dingy furniture?” Susie furrows her brow.

“Ah… Well…,” Ralsei looks away.

“Oh, okay. You checked out our rooms, saw some stuff wasn’t good, then replaced it with your furniture,” Kris deadpans, connecting the dots.

“No!” Susie gasps, hands flying to her head. “You can’t do that. We gotta return it!”

“Um! No you won’t, because I won’t tell you which furniture I gave away!” Ralsei says, with as much defiance as he can possibly come up with. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s still cute how he tries. “And even if you return it, I’ll just put it back! And then… If you make me keep it, then you don’t have that furniture anymore!”

“Hey! You can’t do that!” Susie points.

Ralsei shifts, a bit thrown off to be put in such a situation, “You’ll just have to accept my act of kindness, Susie.”

She turns, looking at Kris for help. They shrug, not particularly concerned about the matter. She’ll always be forever astonished by the tonal shifts her friend can go through. She vaguely recalls that this is something Kris would normally give a shit about, but she guesses that wouldn’t be the case when it comes to a complete stranger.

Then she turns to Noelle, who’s already slipping back into her momentary feeling of sadness, and the girl immediately snaps out of it once she realizes that Susie is looking her way. With only half of the information registered in her head, she quickly comes up with an idea to seem helpful in the moment.

“Let’s just buy him new furniture.” she says. “Mom gave me her card for stuff like this.”

“For emergency backup furniture for friends?” Susie squints in confusion.

“Ah. Sorta. She didn’t trust the quality of the furniture would be of standard.” when Noelle says this, she meant her mother had intended she redecorate her room to fit the Christmas theme and offered to fund this expenditure. Noelle originally didn’t think she’d actually make use of the funds, because she didn’t want to do any of that, but she supposes it did come in handy after all.

“Oh! Awesome!” Susie brightens. “Ya hear that, Ralsei? We’re giving you a total room makeover here!”

“Oh, I can’t,” Ralsei pales a little, instantly feeling bad.

“We insist!” Susie pulls Noelle into a half-hug, then drags Kris by the collar to get them to join in, despite their unwillingness to be included.

Ralsei stares, realizing he wasn’t going to win this, and decides to play the smart decision of giving in. He sighs, hands wringing together nervously, “I suppose a bedframe would be nice.”

“Hell yeah! Then let’s do this now!” Susie cheers, shaking her friends along with her. She lets them go, turning around so they can head out to the nearest IKEA to find Ralsei some kickass furniture, when Noelle suddenly stops her.

“Hey, Susie,” she says, smiling as lightly and gently as possible.

“What’s up, Noelle?” Susie asks, confused because her girlfriend was using that tone of voice she’d always use when she wants to be patient with Susie. Like the time she forgot to bring her project to class on submission day, or the time she was supposed to bin the snacks when they were having a picnic.

“Did you forget?” Noelle laughs. “We were supposed to head down to the stores to introduce ourselves and get our shifts?”

“Huh?” Susie blinks. She recalls applying for jobs with Noelle, to help afford the rent for the apartment. Although Noelle didn’t exactly need to work, she thought Susie would enjoy the company of having someone to go to work with. Conveniently, the tattoo place and the flower shop were on the same street, so if they plan their schedules right, they could clock in and out at the same time if they wanted to.

But what she doesn’t recall is the whole bit Noelle said. Seems entirely new to Susie, and sounds frankly like this was a last minute shoehorned idea meant to fulfill some sort of quota, or a convenient excuse to get them alone together…

Oh! Noelle must want some alone time with Susie. She gets it. Honestly, she’s getting better at this girlfriend stuff everyday. Kris may know the lines, but Susie knows the moves!

“Right!” Susie says, a whole minute delayed from her previous response, which leads Noelle to relax in relief that Susie managed to follow what she was getting at. “But this furniture thing can’t wait. Kris! Take Noelle’s wallet! You will have to get the stuff for Ralsei!”

“Way ahead of you,” Kris holds the wallet up, but definitely not because they were intending on doing what Susie wanted out of them. They most likely just took it for fun.

“Hey!” Noelle says, already catching on about the disingenuous action, before grimacing. “Did you wash your hands…?”

“Nah.”

“Kris…”

Kris smiles and shrugs their shoulders. Then turns to Ralsei, dropping the smile, “Guess we’re going shopping.”

“We can wait for your friends to get back…” Ralsei insists, most likely realizing this might be another way out he can take from this box he’s been put in.

“We are going shopping,” Kris insists harder, not because they want to, but because Susie had asked. And, well. Any opportunity to milk Carol’s funds shouldn’t be wasted ever. 

“Oh.” Ralsei mumbles, squeaks almost. “Okay.”

“Awesome,” Susie beams, firing them a double thumbs up. “Meet back here later, okay! Your room better have some kickass shit or I’m literally gonna run down to IKEA myself and tear a whole showroom just to take back here for you!”

And then she’s out the door with Noelle stringing her along by the hand. Once she’s out, Ralsei glances over at Kris, smiling nervously, “Your friend is quite…fiercly kind, isn’t she?”

“Scariest dinosaur I know,” Kris nods proudly. “But yeah, let’s find you a cool bedframe.”

Side A

Ralsei isn’t particularly unsettled by Kris, but he’d be lying if he said he isn’t a little uncomfortable being around them. They aren’t very expressive, but when they are, it’s with this feeling that they’re up to something. A lot of Kris seems to scream trouble maker, but not the endearing kind. The kind that genuinely likes to mess with you.

So Ralsei stays on his toes, as much as he doesn’t want to, around a new friend. And because Ralsei isn’t an idiot, he knows that Kris hadn’t been entirely fond of the idea of helping Ralsei out. Even now he can feel the air of reluctance clinging onto them.

But Ralsei gets why. He’s a total stranger, and suddenly Susie wants to splurge money on him just because he was nice to them once. Then, Noelle tagged along, so that meant Kris had to be involved too. But they were sure as damned not going to pretend that they’d be happy about it.

Which is why the bus ride to the IKEA is awkward. Occasionally, Ralsei will chip in with some fun facts about the areas around their apartment, or the scenery outside the bus, but Kris would always respond with something short and straight. He got the impression that they were disinterested, but when the bus had taken a turn, Kris had asked about the building they passed.

So it’s nice to know that Kris doesn’t hate his guts for no reason. Still doesn’t change the fact that Ralsei feels like he’s being accompanied by a dog that bites.

“We’re here,” Ralsei says, stepping out the bus, and Kris follows.

In front of them, the giant IKEA, filled with all sorts of furniture and other miscellaneous wares for home use. The sheer size of it all overwhelms Ralsei, but he toughs it through.

“Maybe you should lead,” Ralsei gestures with a smile.

Kris blinks, then does as such, and they were on their way.

They start at the bedroom section. Ralsei says his mattress is a double—too big for a guy like him, in his opinion—and so they looked around for appropriate frames to fit the size. Kris made it their mission to lie in every bed possible as they looked for the right bedframe, which Ralsei had originally chided them for.

But then eventually the boy caved too, so in the next bed Kris lied in comfortably, Ralsei joined in beside them.

“This is quite comfortable,” Ralsei hums, lying stiffly on his back as though he were a vampire in his coffin.

“I don’t usually sleep in beds this big,” Kris tells him. “The bed I had back home is a single.”

“Mine too!” Ralsei chimes. “All the beds back at our apartment are doubles, actually.”

“You like checking other people’s beds, Ralsei?” Kris snorts, turning on their side to look at him.

Ralsei pinks in embarrassment at the implication, “No, no, no. That’s not what I- You know what I meant.”

Kris laughs, and there it is. The thing Ralsei was worried about. Being mean for the sake of it. But, although Ralsei has never explored this type of friendship before, he won’t deny it is a little entertaining. They calm down from their giggles and touch the head of the bed where the top of the frame is, “It’s a simple and nice design, don’t you think? Classic polished wood.”

“If you like the bedframe more than I do, I don’t mind you having it,” Ralsei mumbles.

Then Kris’ smile drops, “We’re here to shop for you. Come on.”

They climb out of the bed, arms folding, “So do you like this?”

“If you like it, then I as well!”

“That’s not how this works,” Kris frowns.

Ralsei frets, worried that he’s upset them, decides to admit that he does agree that the simple and classic design is good, “Okay. Then I do like it.”

Brushing their bangs aside briefly, just to give Ralsei a better look, he watches as they narrow their eyes at him suspiciously. But, eventually, they believe him. So they flag an employee down to work out the logistics—they charge extra to send it to your address and build it for you, so obviously Kris was going to do that—before moving on to the areas that displayed dressers and nightstands.

“We really don’t have to go through all this trouble,” Ralsei tells them.

“Nope, gotta go big or go home,” Kris shakes their head.

Ralsei huffs, trailing along behind Kris as they run their hand over wood of different colors and textures. He’s sure they’re not doing this out of the kindness of their heart, but rather to spite someone. Just from the way Kris seemed eager to spend Noelle’s mother’s money, and from the way Noelle had mentioned her earlier.

But it’s not the kind of confidence stemming from bad faith. Ralsei knows better than that. He simply doesn’t want to be blind to Kris’ true intentions. It would be more unkind to misread what their motives are, on purpose no less. And, well, it’ll be easier to forsake his own feelings for Kris’ plans. 

Because while Ralsei still thinks Kris has the personality of a mean person, deep down Ralsei can recognize that Kris is a good person at heart.

“This will match your bedframe,” Kris gestures to the nightstand, of similar wood.

“Then I’ll take it,” Ralsei hums.

Kris looks at Ralsei for a brief moment, once again skeptical, but decides to let it go and flag down another employee, running through the same thing again. When that’s over, they return back to Ralsei, who has gone on to admire the showrooms’ decorations.

Kris slips in from behind him, attempting to pinpoint which item has caught Ralsei’s interest, but he’s much quicker than that. He smiles at their return, “Back already? Shall we get something to eat, then head back? Maybe Susie and Noelle will like something from here… Oh, shall we get them gifts as well?”

“I was gonna ask if you want anything else,” Kris says. “I’m not really decorative myself. Heavy on the ‘not really’. So I don’t know what else would go in your room.”

“If that’s the case, I’m okay with just ending it here,” Ralsei hums with a smile. “I’m happy as it is that you’d even be willing to do this for me.”

Kris chews on the inside of their cheek, once again doubting Ralsei, but makes no effort to do anything about it again, “Right. I guess we can head out…”

“Not getting anything for Susie and Noelle?” Ralsei asks.

“I don’t see anything they’d want.” Kris replies, but as they’re about to make it towards the exit, they reconsider their options. “I wouldn’t mind going for a hotdog, though. Want one?”

Ralsei waves his hands, “Oh, I’m not hungry—”

“We’re getting you one,” Kris decides.

“Oh. Okay.” Ralsei says, though he hadn’t lied about not being hungry. He’s generally not used to snacking, really. Always eating proper meals to keep himself healthy. As much as he likes to bake, he never really does it for himself as a treat.

Kris snorts, amused on how quick Ralsei had agreed, and they promptly queued in line to get their IKEA hotdogs. They then ate at one of the sitting areas. While Ralsei had been generous with his condiments, he had watched Kris absolutely drown theirs in an ocean of ketchup and mustard. He swears they drank their hotdog, not eat it.

When they finally step outside, Kris checks the time. Asriel should be nearing soon, so they’ll be expecting a phone call any minute now. Best to head back soon. So they turn to go back where they came from, but Ralsei had stopped them.

“Oh, the bus stop back is over here, actually,” Ralsei says, pointing down the opposite way.

“You really know a lot about this place,” Kris murmurs, more confused than they are intrigued.

“Well, you know. I was excited to come here. Becoming a medical student has been my dream,” Ralsei smiles gently, hands behind his back. “So I studied up as much as I could about this place to prepare for living around here.”

Kris snorts in amusement this time, entertained by this.

“I even know,” Ralsei says, running up ahead a bit as they’re about to pass a corner they would’ve ignored if they weren’t on the subject, “that there’s a piano right here!”

Kris perks at the mention of a piano, before turning that corner to head straight towards it. Surprised by their interest, Ralsei lets them go, and follows behind them. The moment they were at the piano, they smiled. They sit, runs their fingers across the keys, playing every note, and hums in pleasure when they realize it’s well cared for.

“You play the piano?” Ralsei asks.

“I like the piano,” Kris mumbles gently. “Noelle liked that I play too.”

Then, they play.

Ralsei could hear the sincerity in their playing, feels himself melt into the beauty of it, and watches the way their hair falls as they play their song. Their fingers seem to glide across the keys, and the moment was so magical, it left Ralsei hearing echoes of it even after they were done.

They push their hair back, realizing they’ve overdone it a little and gotten it messy, but they’re not at all embarrassed about the passion they’ve displayed.

“We should have a piano at home,” Ralsei says.

“It’ll be a noise hazard,” Kris shrugs. “Besides, I don’t mind coming outside to play.”

“You said Noelle liked that you play,” Ralsei tells them as they get up from the piano. “You can play for her at home. Her and Susie.”

“And you?” Kris smirks, turning their head awfully close to Ralsei’s.

He flushes, “I…I guess I’d like it too.”

“You guess,” Kris echoes coyly.

“Mm, I would,” Ralsei corrects himself.

Kris laughs, before shaking their head and returning back to their original path to the bus stop, “You can stop with the chivalrous acts. It doesn’t work on me.”

“It’s not an act,” Ralsei insists. “I really sincerely feel people like you deserve the best.”

Kris sighs, stopping in their tracks, “Well, yeah. You can believe that, but that doesn’t have to go with…”

Ralsei expects Kris to finish, but realizes they’re getting ahead of themself. They’ve only known Ralsei for a day, so it mustn’t feel right telling Ralsei what to do. Ironically, this reinforces Ralsei’s ideals. He makes a note to get a piano in their apartment soon.

“There’s our bus stop,” Ralsei points ahead. He’s learnt a lot about Kris just from one trip, going from being intimidated to admiring them. He honestly cannot wait to learn more.

Side B

“Nervous?” Noelle asks as they’re walking down the street together.

They just got off the bus, heading down to the street where their jobs are. It was genuinely a miracle when they found that the flower shop and the tattoo studio they will be working at are right next door from each other, in an almost too good to be true way. It’s partially why Noelle wanted to come down early to check it out, just in case it really is too good to be true.

“Not at all!” Susie grins. “They’ll be honored to have me working with them, I know it.” 

Both of them have never worked a job before this. For Noelle, it was because her mother didn’t seem to fond of the idea. Especially since they lived so comfortably, so why would she need any part time work? She only agreed to it now because of the whole rent situation. Noelle played it as wanting to help out, but truthfully she wanted to try working a job.

Susie, on the other hand, had issues getting hired. With her original impression on most people’s minds, they found it hard to trust her with a job. But with even that aside, Susie wasn’t particularly good at doing things to begin with. The best thing she could do was bash things, but places weren’t hiring for that.

Once they’ve arrived at the street, they stand in front of the tattoo studio first.

“See you in a sec then?” Noelle checks, to which Susie replies with a wide grin and a thumbs up. She smiles back, hesitates for a moment, but eventually Susie catches on and dips her head to press a quick kiss to Noelle’s lips. She flushes every shade of red possible, squeaks with a nod, then heads inside the studio.

Susie laughs, loving the way she responds, and heads down to the neighboring shop. She stands in front of the flower shop, admiring the ones outside on display and wondering how they would taste like, before walking inside as well. She heard they’re in need of someone that can carry a bag of soil, and boy does she have news for them.

“So I’ll man the counter most times, but eventually they’ll do an apprenticeship for me. So at some point later down the line, they’ll teach me how to actually do tattoos,” Noelle tells Susie.

“That’s so cool! You should’ve seen their faces when I showed them how much I could carry and stuff,” Susie throws her head back in a laugh. “They’re gonna teach me how to actually handle the flowers, and they said it’ll be okay if I mess up. So! Things are totally working out.”

“Yup,” Noelle nods her head, but with less energy than Susie had expected.

Not wanting Noelle’s mood to sour again, Susie looks up to find something they could do together, and comes across a games and puzzles store. She takes Noelle by the hand, who yelps in surprise, and finds herself being tugged towards the store.

Once they’ve stepped inside, Noelle slightly thrown off and dizzy by the sudden dash, they find a blue man with long white hair at the counter explaining something to a child with a spade on his face. The kid is only tall enough to match the height of the cash register, which means if he stood behind it, he would almost be entirely hidden.

As they step closer, they can hear the passing conversation between the two.

“Yeseth so if they wisheth to leave the shop, they mustest attempteth a puzzle,” he tells the middle schooler.

“Oh okay!” the boy nods. “But what if they can’t solve it?”

“Then they art to purchaseth thine wares!” the man cackles maniacally, which the boy tries to join in but ends up sounding less threatening and more adorable.

Susie and Noelle quickly rush past the counter hearing this, ducking behind an aisle to avoid being caught in their store. The sneaky gesture earns a nervous giggle out of Noelle, who whispers to Susie, asking quietly, “Why’d you bring me in here?”

“To have fun, of course?” Susie whispers back. “But I didn’t think the owner would be pulling a scam like that. Guess we gotta book it out of here soon before they pull that ambush on us.”

“Fahaha,” Noelle laughs again. “You think we can just rush out of here?”

“Maybe, if we time it right,” Susie mumbles, then turns to actually observe the aisle. Noelle joins along, checking their games out, only to find that most of the board games seem eerily similar to snakes and ladders, just with different animals and objects each time.

She lifts one up and shows it to Susie.

“Boiled spaghetti and bones,” Susie reads it out loud. “Wow, that’s imaginative.”

“And this one says hair and rope. So, like, it’s a lose-lose?” Noelle snickers.

“Dental floss and toothbrush,” Susie finds another.

“These are so lame,” Noelle giggles.

And then a looming shadow falls from behind them, “Ah, art we havingeth a jest here? At my gameseth and puzzlest?”

“Um,” the two girls turn to look at him.

Susie speaks first, “No, sir.”

“We were just leaving actually,” Noelle finishes.

“Oh buteth surely thou shalt not leaveth without completingeth mine puzzleth first?” he stares at the two of them. “For I, Rouxls Kaard, am co-captain-manager-boss of this storeth and will noteth dishonoreth the title of thisest shopeth! Lancer! Prepareth the puzzleth!”

“Okie.” the boy appears from behind him, saluting the man, before bouncing off. Noelle will not exaggerate, that boy did quite literally bounce away.

Suddenly, the two girls are faced with their exit, but before them lies a puzzle in their way. How Lancer managed to carry the entire button puzzle here, is beyond the ladies. How Rouxls thinks they can afford this puzzle if they fail is, also, beyond them.

Fortunately, it is quite straight forward. Just turn the ‘X’s into ‘O’s, hit the button. And there’s only…one. Noelle has played enough games on the library computer to know how puzzles usually go, and she wonders if the easy difficulty is meant to be on purpose. As she’s about to solve it, Susie steps forward.

“I got this, Noelle,” she grins.

And, well, Noelle has nothing but faith for her girlfriend.

It takes five minutes, but eventually Susie hits the ‘X’ on the floor, turning it into a ‘O’. Thinks about it again, just to be sure if she’s doing it right, then hits the button.

“Wow,” Rouxls says. “Okay. Sure.”

“We’ll getcha next time!” Lancer jumps from the counter.

“They are not coming back.” Rouxls says.

“Oh.”

“Ehhh,” Susie rubs her nose and throws her hands back behind her head. “Maybe. We might come back.”

Lancer beams wide, which puts a warm feeling in her heart. It’s reasons like these why she was sure she wanted to get into education. Inspired by Toriel, inspired by her own upbringing. It was a no brainer that she’d pick early childhood for her degree.

“Yeah! I mean, I like the concept,” Noelle agrees. “It is fun.” and she holds back the ‘I guess’ that should’ve followed.

Rouxls takes a moment to digest, but eventually the spirit returns back into his face, and he gloats with a haughty laugh, “Why, of courseth! For I, Rouxls Kaard, am the besteth co-captain-manager-boss of this storeth! Please, doeth come backeth with moreth friendsest.”

“Yeah, sure,” Susie shoots him a peace sign, and then leaves with Noelle. 

“Kris would’ve liked that place,” Noelle thinks out loud.

“Yeah, to mess with,” Susie barks out a laugh, before gently checking on Noelle, leaning closer as she reaches a hand forward to brush her hair aside. “You feeling better there…?”

“Mmm, I had a feeling you were trying to cheer me up,” Noelle flushes deeply, looking away as she rests her hands on Susie’s collar. “I really appreciate it.”

“I wanted to do more,” Susie pushing her forehead against Noelle’s, and Noelle stumbles back, causing them to walk the corner and stay against the side wall of the games and puzzle shop. “I was worried about you.”

“Ohm, thank you,” Noelle blinks and blinks and blinks. “Uhh, you did good. I’m feeling better.”

“Yeah?” Susie presses her face closer, and though it’s so much harder to see, Noelle knows Susie isn’t just looking into her eyes.

“ Eekyeah!” Noelle squeaks, hands pulled into fists against Susie. Just when did Noelle’s life get so good? Her girlfriend is so awesome. Her girlfriend is so awesome! 

“Awesome!” Susie cheers, pulling away as she throws her hands into the air, and before Noelle can assume that she was just overthinking it and Susie hadn’t intended on kissing her just now, Susie goes ahead and kisses her. “I’m really solid at this girlfriend stuff, huh?”

“Yeah,” Noelle sighs dreamily.

Susie checks the time as she takes Noelle’s hand, pointing back towards the way they came from, “I think Asriel should be getting here soon, so let’s head back first.”

“Oh! Right. Of course, yeah, sure,” Noelle nods, swinging their hands gently as they begin walking back.

Truthfully, in the back of her mind, Noelle still thinks of her sister. As much as Susie’s little antics had cheered her up, her mind still wanders back to what she should do about Dess. She wants to spend time with her, to catch up and ask where she’s been all this time. But, at the same time, she’s afraid. She doesn’t know if her sister is still the same as she was before, or if she’ll still be here when tomorrow comes.

When you spend so long grieving for someone, how much of them do you still actually remember? And how much of that still actually remains?

Runes, what is even the point of overthinking this? Noelle should just talk to her sister. That’s the first step.

Part III

As Kris had thought, Asriel had made it to the apartment with the car parked in front by the time Kris and Ralsei got back. When they see the car in the distance, they feel their phone buzz in their pocket, but they pull it out without answering, waving their arms in front of the car instead.

“Oh, hey,” Asriel says, realizing his brother is just there and opens the door to step out. “Where’d you go? And is that your new roommate?”

“We went to get furniture for one of the rooms,” Kris answers.

“My name’s Ralsei!” he introduces, bowing his head politely.

“Asriel,” he extends a hand, which Ralsei takes.

Inside the car, Kris can see Dess staying put in her seat, and when they lock eyes for a moment, she almost hesitates to hold the gaze. Awkwardly, she waves at them. They awkwardly wave back. That mutual moment of stiffness ironically clears the tension, and Dess relaxes. This prompts her to finally step out of the car.

“Hey, I got an idea,” Dess says, grabbing Asriel’s attention. “Why don’t me, Kris and Ralsei over there carry some of the boxes up? You can stay here and watch the car.”

“Susie and Noelle will be home soon, I think,” Ralsei adds. “So they will be able to help as well when they arrive.”

“It’s not a lot anyways,” Dess stretches, already popping the trunk to pick one of the boxes up. Kris joins, followed by Ralsei.

“Yeah, sure,” Asriel slips back into the car, eyeing Dess cautiously, but eventually leaves it be. “Call if you need me.”

“Yeap,” Dess says, holding one of Kris’ boxes. 

Kris is holding another one of theirs in their arms too, and Ralsei has taken another as well. Then, the three head upstairs back to the apartment. It’s a little weird being around Dess again, and as much as they miss her, it’s still a little jarring to realize she’ss actually alive. But they suppose they must be handling this better than Asriel, because Dess has gone from being stiff and tensed in the car, to loose and relaxed.

As they set the boxes down in Kris’ room, Kris gets a phone call. They think it’s just Asriel, but when they pick up, they realize it’s the IKEA people. Right, they did order the most expensive package. Which means the most deluxe service. Which means…

“The IKEA people are here like right now,” Kris holds the phone down, whispering to Ralsei.

“Oh dear, but we’re in the middle of moving boxes!” Ralsei frowns.

“Hey, don’t sweat it. I’m sure we can work things out,” Dess says, resting one hand on each of their shoulders. It’s so weird, she’s kind of the same height as them now. She used to be so much taller.

Kris nods. It’s not like they’re panicking, but it does make things a bit complicated. They sigh, wishing Susie and Noelle were here to lighten the load, before they open the door to find Susie and Noelle standing there, holding boxes in their arms. 

Susie is carrying two, while Noelle has one, and Noelle becomes wide-eyed when she spots Dess standing behind Kris. Dess grows a little awkward and she smiles, waving stiffly, and Noelle awkwardly smiles back.

“Hey, you know what, idea,” Dess chimes. “Why don’t me and Kris here do the box stuff, and the rest of you guys do the unpacking stuff. Including Ralsei’s IKEA stuff?”

“Uhm, well,” Noelle mumbles, but Dess is already slipping past her and Susie, expecting Kris to follow, who does. Because what else are they supposed to do? 

When they hop onto the elevator, Dess lets out a huge sigh, resting the side of her head against the wall. She covers her face and groans, “That was so lame of me.”

“You don’t wanna talk to Noelle?” Kris squints, pushing their bangs aside.

“It’s not that,” Dess folds her arms as the doors open again. “Asriel was all up in my case about how much I hurt you guys for leaving, and I couldn’t even tell him why I left. So I just felt bad, I guess. I didn’t want Noelle feeling bad too.” then she sighs. “I don’t know, it’s stupid.”

“So you don’t know how to talk to her,” Kris concludes, stepping out with Dess.

“Look, I planned the whole thing.” Dess says, gesturing fiercely. “The idea was to act like I never left, or like I went on holiday or something. Like I know it’s a big deal, but I don’t want to be a big deal. Because I know, I know how bad this all is.”

They step outside and collect more boxes from the trunk, letting Asriel know what the plan is, who nods and lets them carry on. There’s this look he gives Kris, something along the lines of worry or checking if they’re okay—it’s the same look their mom gives sometimes—and Kris nods that they’re fine.

When they head back inside with more boxes, Dess goes back to rambling, “But I guess that came off as me not giving a shit? So Asriel was, like, super mad about it. But, how am I supposed to behave when he keeps acting like I’m not the same person I used to be?”

Kris winces in empathy. Kris knows it isn’t the same, but the feeling that someone is looking at you different because you are different. It really stinks, because deep down, you know you’re the same person.

“I mean, I’m still December Holiday, aren’t I?” Dess turns to look at Kris.

“I don’t know, maybe you don’t see you’ve changed until you see it through someone else,” Kris shrugs. Speaking from experience, of course. It was Noelle that had noticed they were acting different the first time it was in control. It was then they realized they wouldn’t be able to work things out, even if they talk it out.

“You seem totally fine with me,” Dess bumps shoulders with them.

“Oh, right,” Kris rolls their eyes. “No, I think you’re a totally different person, Dess. You look like you came back from something awful, and you look like you barely sleep now. Also, you’re taller.”

“No, you’re taller,” Dess laughs loudly. “And look at your hair. Runes, Kris. When’s the last time you cut that?”

The elevator reaches their floor and Kris attempts to flick their hair aside. It doesn’t work. “I don’t like the way other people cut my hair, but mom doesn’t let me do it myself unless she’s watching.”

“Damn,” Dess says as they walk back into the apartment. “I can cut it for you.”

Kris looks at her, round-eyed, “Really?”

“Yeah, I cut my own hair. I got it,” she winks. “Got a pair of scissors I can borrow?”

Kris sets the box down and looks over at Noelle’s luggage, which she hasn’t moved into her room yet. Towards where Ralsei’s room is, they hear their friends laughing and talking about furniture placement. Sounds like it’ll take a while. 

They unzip Noelle’s luggage and pull out the scissors Dess had used to cut their hair all those years ago. They’d think that Dess would’ve forgotten, but surprisingly, the memories all came flooding back immediately. She gasps, grabbing it from Kris immediately, “Oh, sick! This is some destiny stuff. Now I gotta ace your haircut.”

“We can use my room’s bathroom,” Kris says, leading Dess over.

They decide to do this standing and Dess gets right to work, As she snips away, Kris feels oddly safe. They recall every time they went to a barber, they’d always get this looming and sinking feeling that they’d get it wrong, even though they’re reassured that wouldn’t be the case.

As Dess cuts, she speaks again, “Do you really think I’ve changed that much?”

“You’re right that you’re still you,” Kris stares at their reflection in the mirror, spotting Dess behind them occasionally with her face pulled into concentration. 

“Right, but Azzy’s so different now too,” Dess says. “He’s so… I don’t know. He’s kinda uptight? And more sensitive?”

“I think that’s just you. All things considered.”

“Of course it is,” she rolls her eyes. “But he used to be like a cute sort of crybaby. I kinda wish he did that instead of lecturing me.” then softer, “I didn’t ask him to become a detective for me.”

Oh, so that’s how that circles back. “I dunno, Dess. Maybe he just wants to hear you care.”

“Duh, I do care,” Dess says.

“By not blowing it off,” Kris deadpans.

“Ohhh,” Dess grits her teeth and bares them in an exaggerated wince. “How do I even begin. Hey, turn for me? Thanks.”

Kris looks at Dess as she works on their bangs, “Tell him how you really feel? Both of them?”

“Solid, simple advice,” Dess hums, before smiling and patting their cheek. All done. “When did you get so grown up, huh?”

“Maybe you’d know the answer if you were here to see it.” they pinch at their bangs, satisfied with its length. Now they can still loom ominously without worrying about bumping into walls.

“Hey, I got a blade here,” she waves. “But yeah, loud and clear. Being honest and junk.”

Susie, Noelle and Ralsei are watching a movie together when they’re done with Ralsei’s furniture things and unpacking their respective boxes. Ralsei is sitting upright on the couch while Susie is lying on the armrest with Noelle cuddling up against her. When Kris and Dess bring up the last of their boxes, they walk up to the three of them on the couch.

“Hey, sis, ya wanna catch up?” Dess points her thumb out the door. “We can take a walk around the block. Asriel said he doesn’t mind waiting a little longer.”

“Uh,” Noelle suddenly sits up, glancing between Dess, Kris then Susie. She gets up slowly, with Susie squeezing her hand before letting her go, and Kris takes her spot on the couch, snuggling into Susie. They deserve that break.

“Cool.” Dess smiles, and they head out together.

The elevator ride down is cold and quiet. Dess wonders if she should’ve brought Kris with her as support to make things less awkward or easier to work through, then bashed her own head in mentally for thinking something so silly. She’s a grown woman, she can manage this herself. Also, this is her sister!

“Sorry for showing up unannounced in the morning,” Dess mumbles, thinking that would be a fantastic opener.

Then, Noelle starts crying.

“Nooo, no, no, no. What’s wrong?” Dess immediately flies into action, consoling her. “Was it because I was kinda emotionally constipated when that happened? That’s my bad, because I was totally banking on seeing you, like, much later.”

“No, it’s not that,” Noelle wipes her tears, continuing to cry. The elevator doors open and they both step out. They decide against walking around the block, so Dess opts to let her sit in some corner of the apartment lobby. “It’s just, I was worried that you had completely changed and didn’t love me anymore because I thought you died.”

“Whaaaat?” Dess pats her head, brushing her tears away. “The whole thinking I was dead thing is totally justified. You didn’t know if I was alive. I’d never hate you for it.”

“I just didn’t want to cling to your memory forever,” Noelle wails. “I just wanted you home. But I thought that would never happen, so I gave up and decided to let go.”

“Which is totally understandable!” Dess reasons, continuing to wipe her tears. “I would’ve rathered you move on. But, also. I’m here now.”

“And I’m so thankful that you are,” Noelle sniffs, pressing her face against Dess, antlers bumping with hers. “I’m so happy to see you again, Dess. I really missed you.”

“And… I missed you too,” Dess murmurs, holding her back. “I missed you too, Noelle. I’m glad to be back. I’ll be back for good, I promise. I was worried what sort of feelings I’d be putting you through, so I’m glad, at some point, you had made peace with me being gone. Really, really. But, I’m here now.”

“I love you,” Noelle cries.

“I love you too,” Dess pats her gently. “I’ve never stopped.”

“I didn’t either.”

They held each other like that for a little longer.

When he sees Dess coming back to the car, he pops the door open for her first before she comes around and steps inside.

“Wow, what a gentleman,” Dess teases, slipping inside.

“How was it? Your talk with your sister,” Asriel asks tiredly, only because he’s been sitting in this damn car for almost the whole day. He did step outside to stretch his legs, but that’s the most he really did.

“Good,” Dess says, and when the car engine starts, she chokes out tears she’s been holding the whole day.

“There you are,” Asriel sighs out, almost in relief. “Welcome home, Dess.”

“I never wanted to hurt any of you,” Dess coughs out.

“I didn’t mean to get upset at you either,” Asriel apologizes in reply, feeling his heart clench. “You just got back. You were still adjusting.”

“Runes, Azzy,” Dess laughs ugly with snot in her throat. “This is so screwed up. I can’t even tell anyone what I went through. You’ll just have to believe me when I say I couldn’t come home till now, and I never wanted to leave, especially for so long, and I still love you.”

“How can I not believe you, Dess?” Asriel turns for a brief moment. “I love you too. Still.”

“Shit,” Dess cries, then hits her fist against her thigh. Then she cries and cries.

Epilogue

People do a lot of weird things when they have a crush. Like buy a whole piano to fit into the living room. 

It almost doesn’t fit, but with enough adjusting and angling, Ralsei managed to get it right. Then, with a fresh stack of pancakes, he gets Kris to wake up to see it first. He knows Susie would soon follow after once he’s made two more stacks on her plate.

At first, Kris is utterly appalled, which sends Ralsei into panic mode. But then they reveal it’s because Ralsei had spent his own money on that, and it almost doesn’t fit right. Not because they hate the actual gift, which is a relief.

“Oh, I’ve got enough funds saved up. I don’t really spend on myself,” Ralsei reassures, and after he’s noticed Kris staring at the piano more than they’ve stared at their own breakfast, Ralsei knows he’s won this one.

“Trying to win me over?” Kris smirks at Ralsei, who immediately blooms red.

“No! Way! Who! Would imply! Such a thing!” Ralsei breathes heavily, then sticks a fork into their pancakes, picks one up, and shoves it into their mouth.

They try to speak, but Ralsei doesn’t seem to understand, so they swallow and repeat themself, “I said, if you wanted to get me to shut up, there are other ways to do it.”

“Oh runes,” Ralsei flushes again. “Have you fallen ill?”

“Maybe. Aren’t you gonna become a doctor? Can’t you check?” Kris lifts their bangs to show him their forehead. “I hear there’s this new illness spreading around.”

Ralsei leans forward, pressing his forehead against Kris’ to check their temperature, “What is it? It sounds serious.”

“Love sickness.”

“You—” Ralsei pulls back, blushing. “When did you- Is it the piano? You can just show your appreciation in other ways.”

Kris laughs loudly, “Other ways, you say?”

Before anything else could be said, someone else steps out from their room. A very tired, but ready to devour breakfast Susie. She yawns, already dropping her jaw to inhale Ralsei’s pancakes, “No, Kris is just like that.”

Ralsei blinks, “Oh. Is that so?”

“Thinks it’s a game,” Susie munches away. “No one was safe from this menace back at home.”

It’s hard to hide his disappointment. Ralsei supposes it’s more likely that Kris wasn’t being serious and trying to court him. After all, they’ve already proven to have the habit of messing with people. Just the other day, Ralsei had caught Kris pulling a prank on Noelle.

He thought it’d be good natured of him to let her know, but to his surprise, she had quite enjoyed it. Her giggles came endless. It’s only as he got to know Noelle better did he learn that she’s incredibly partial to things that scare her. When she gets to pick movies, more often than not she’d land on the horror genre.

The progression  of his friendship with Kris had been interesting. Apparently, they’re a lot more stiff and awkward with people they’re unfamiliar with—usually preferring to mind their own business than to go out of their way to make friends. It’s how they got so close to Noelle, because Asriel was friends with Dess first.

As for Susie? That had been a mystery. Susie claims that Kris had approached her out of their own free will and interacted, but Noelle had said that was a strange thing for Kris to do. Making friends on their own with no ulterior motives—to prank, basically—just doesn’t seem like them at all.

But then when Kris had a say in it, they said being friends with Susie was inevitable, with the implication that they didn’t have a choice. Though, it could be read as Kris feeling as though, even if they hadn’t approached first, Susie and them still would’ve become friends. Ralsei wished he understood what they really meant by that, though.

“You only catch them being sincere like once in a while,” Susie explains, to which Kris knocks her gently in the shoulder.

“Don’t go revealing my secrets now,” they joke.

“Whaaaat? Ralsei’s got an unfair disadvantage here. He’s the only newbie,” Susie stuffs more pancakes in her mouth, then swallows. “Plus, he feeds us. It’s a transactional thing.”

“I offer my services for free,” Ralsei hums with a smile.

“Then I’m tipping ya,” she grins.

Despite knowing that Kris is only playing a game, Ralsei couldn’t help but fall into that loop anyway. It’s hard to not think that there is some sincerity to what Kris tells him, but Ralsei pretends they’re only jokes to remind himself the truth. But also just so Kris wouldn’t stop. Eventually they fell into routine, and it’s become a thing they do.

Ralsei would do something so sincere and kind, and Kris would respond with playful quips that gets Ralsei turning shades of red. Then there are the moments where it’s not pretend, and Kris is being genuine—like Susie had said—and Kris would do something so valiant and sweet that Ralsei would recall how he fell into this situation in the first place.

People do a lot of weird things when they have a crush, and Ralsei happened to have bought a piano.

Like Kris had mentioned before the first time they spoke about a piano, Noelle likes hearing them play. So even if this wasn’t because Ralsei had a schoolboy crush on Kris, he would’ve still gotten the piano for them just to see the others smile.

Kris likes to play on it almost everyday, when the others want to hear them. Ralsei included.

It’s one of the few things Ralsei realized, quite later after getting to know Kris, the two of them have in common. They tend to do things for people they care about, to show they care. While Ralsei’s actions come in bigger and grander gestures, like cooking and baking and buying a whole piano, Kris does it in smaller ways.

Like the time Susie had been bedridden, and it made her grumpier than she usually would. Like a scary kind of grumpy that made Ralsei think she was actually mad. Kris says it’s not so bad, but Ralsei does get scared when Susie looks that way and snaps with her voice raised.

Kris insisted that, since Ralsei isn’t quite used to this yet, he should try to keep a distance. But the one time Ralsei was nearby, and Kris had managed to help Susie fall asleep despite the pains of being sick, he saw how they stayed by her side, even after she’s torn lines into their arm from the stress she was experiencing in her sleep.

Ralsei had never admired someone for being so brave and strong for a friend before.

(The morning after that, Susie had apologized to everyone deeply. Especially Kris, who had gone through the most in an attempt to look after her. Ralsei thought Kris would do the noble thing and forgive Susie. But then they used it as an excuse to guilt trip Susie into being their horse for the whole day.

Noelle later told Ralsei that Susie would’ve probably agreed to it regardless, so all’s good.)

With how Ralsei has self-anointed himself as being in charge of the kitchen, he tries to not make it his roommates’ business to keep things in order there. But with how school is going, and all the classes he has, and having to think of what to make for breakfast, lunch and dinner, some things sometimes slip his mind.

Like keeping the fridge stocked.

He actually doesn’t realize he’s been forgetting to go on grocery trips until it dawns upon him that he couldn’t remember the last time had to go shopping for ingredients. He likes to keep his list on the fridge so he remembers to go fetch them, only to never do it because by the time he checks the list again, it’s not there, and the fridge is suddenly stocked with the things he needs.

The thing with that, with how seamless it happens, it doesn’t register in his head that he hasn’t been going shopping for these ingredients. He’s just been tricking himself into thinking his fridge is magical, for some reason.

It takes about five seconds for Ralsei to know it’s been Kris’ doing—through process of elimination—but it would feel so awkward and embarrassing to thank them now when they’ve been doing this for practically since they started living together. So, to make it up to them, they make their favorite for dessert.

“Pie!” Kris and Susie say at the same time when he pulls it out from the oven.

“It’s just to thank Kris for keeping the fridge filled,” Ralsei says bashfully as he begins slicing them all a piece. “Even though it’s my job to make sure the kitchen is in order…”

“Who said that?” Susie asks through her pie-filled mouth. “Ain’t we all paying the same rent. This is our kitchen.”

“Yeah, Ralsei. We’d love to help out whenever we can,” Noelle adds. “It’s the least we can do to thank you for cooking for us all the time…”

Ralsei feels his insides warm a little, “Oh, well. I do it because… I really appreciate and love you guys, that’s all.”

“Did you put a little of yourself in this pie because it’s tasting extra sweet,” Kris says without looking up from their plate.

“Kris! We’re having a moment here,” Noelle chides.

“But it’s true,” Kris insists, winking at Ralsei, who feels his insides explode this time.

So, yes. Having a crush is absolutely crazy, because people do weird things all the time when they have one! Like buying a piano! Like what Ralsei did!

Ralsei doesn’t really do song requests like the girls, but Kris eventually plays the piano enough times for Ralsei to recognize some songs that they usually default to when no one’s got a request. So when Kris is back on that piano, and it’s sometime past dinner, and both the girls have a late shift today so it’s just the two of them, Ralsei finds himself making a request to close the night.

“It goes like…,” Ralsei hums the melody to Kris, who recognizes it instantly.

“Oh, that’s kind of an…original piece,” the corners of Kris’ cheeks pink and spread. “I call it Waiting Room.”

“Could you play it?” Ralsei asks, and then he does a really bold thing. He sits beside Kris, facing opposite the piano, but looking right at them. 

They blink, surprised, but eventually they nod and start playing.

It’s a nice moment between the two of them, which Ralsei thinks they hardly ever share because Susie and Noelle are always a lot closer to Kris and having closer moments with them. But Ralsei isn’t jealous of them for that, it’s just… he notices the lack of opportunities, that’s all. So it’s always nice when it comes up, so Ralsei has to make sure he seizes them when it comes up.

Like now.

When Kris finishes, they turn to look at Ralsei again, to see if he likes it the same as he did the first few times Kris played it. And of course he does.

He smiles at Kris sincerely, “Thank you.”

Then Kris gets up so fast, Ralsei almost falls from the piano seat. He looks at them confused, and they stare back with wide eyes—hard to spot behind all that hair, but Ralsei manages to see it anyway—and a flushed face.

“Goodnight,” Kris stiffly says, and then marches towards their room.

“Oh. Goodnight,” Ralsei calls back. They must’ve been tired from playing that piece as perfectly as possible for him and almost feels bad for making them do such a thing for him. But, then again, Kris likes the piano. So it shouldn’t have been that bad.

It’s probably the same concept as exercising, or something. Coming out of it tuckered out, but definitely satisfied.

Ralsei helps Kris shut the piano, because they had forgotten to do so in their rush to sleep, and he turns the lights off. It’s a little early, but he supposes he’ll turn it for the night too. Getting to bed early means he can get up early to make breakfast!

Which is among the silliest thing a person could do when they have a crush, but certainly not as silly as buying a piano.

Kris then seems to just play the piano as much as they possibly can, and they started composing songs. Like, writing them down as sheet music. Which Ralsei thinks is fascinating. 

He learns that Kris had picked up the piano for church—

”I didn’t know you were religious.” 

“Not extremely, I suppose.”

—and that Asriel had been part of the choir up until he had to leave for college, and then he sort of never came back as a choir boy because he didn’t have time anymore, or he simply didn’t want to. But Kris likes to think that he still loves to sing, just like how Kris doesn’t exactly play for the church anymore, but here they are now.

Ralsei tells them, “I like to sing too.”

“Yeah?” Kris smiles. “Maybe we can, I don’t know, do a duet sometime. Or something. I don’t know if that’s how it works.”

“Surely.” Ralsei says.

“Maybe,” Kris replies.

And Ralsei would expect that this is where the flirting comes, but it just doesn’t happen, and Kris remains quiet writing their music with Ralsei beside them. It’s a nice, almost intimate moment, but Ralsei can’t possibly think it means anything because the whole piano thing was Kris and Noelle’s thing originally and Ralsei just can’t take that away from them.

Kris made it sound like he only ever played for Noelle, but then he saw them playing for Susie, and then for all of them, and now they’re making music, just for Ralsei. It’s the sort of narrative someone would paint for a romantic drama, Ralsei thinks—not that he knows enough about it to say he’s confident that’s how it usually goes. But he’d imagine that’s how it happens.

So then to make sure Ralsei isn’t getting ahead of himself, he tells everyone else that Kris is making their own music. Which goes as well as one would expect.

“Oh, really?” Noelle’s eyes brighten with glee.

Susie falls into the same mood, just a lot more close and personal and all up in Kris’ space, “Hey! You gotta play it for us!”

Kris’ face has never been redder, and they look at Ralsei like he’s just betrayed them, which immediately makes Ralsei feel bad. So, to salvage the situation, Ralsei laughs and gets the girls to quiet it down, telling them that they’re overwhelming Kris.

“Aw,” Noelle falls back, but it takes a bit of encouragement on her part to get Susie back in her seat. “Hey, Kris, we’ll be happy to hear it when you’re ready to share.”

“Uh, um,” Kris flusters, still recovering from the embarrassment. “If Ralsei sings with my piano.”

And now the attention is on Ralsei, and he can only say it’s a fair revenge.

So that’s exactly what they do, because people do stupid but fun things when they have a crush. For Ralsei, he got a piano. And now he’s going to sing with it.

They practice when Susie and Noelle are at work, which is enough time to master one song for a one night concert. It’s nothing fancy, but Susie thought it’d be fun to dress up like they’re at a real show, which prompts Ralsei and Kris to do the same, and so Noelle winds up joining along.

There’s only so much roleplaying that can be done before it gets a little embarrassing, so they only go as far as dressing up and skipping the intros to jumping straight to the song. Ralsei had done most of the lyrics himself, since Kris isn’t exactly a proficient lyricist—and Ralsei only dabbled a few times as a hobby.

They perform on a Friday night, and the girls watch from the couch as Ralsei stands a little away from the piano, singing along to the melody they composed with lyrics he wrote. It’s the most fun he’s ever had since living here, and he expects there to be more in the future to come.

Susie cheers so loud when it’s over, Ralsei worried they might get a complaint from the neighbors. But, the hilarious part is, their neighbors had immediately joined in on the cheering after she finished. So, much to their embarrassment, apparently their audience had been much wider than they thought.

Between all that excitement, Kris had stayed at the piano, smiling fondly at Ralsei, who has moved to the window to thank all their unknown listeners. The girls, on the other hand, had left to turn in for the night. When it’s all over, it leaves just the two of them in the living room, the window wide open. Kris then moves from the piano to join Ralsei by his side.

They don’t usually keep the window out in the living room open because they always forget to close it. They all worry that something might fly in while they’re asleep, like a bat or a bird or a bug, so naturally they would love to keep the window closed while they’re not present in the room.

It’s always about ‘last person to be here has to close it’, but it winds up being Ralsei regardless of who was the last to be in the living room. So they stopped opening the window altogether. 

But tonight, the window is open, because Ralsei and Kris are there, and they’re looking out into the sky, and it’s hard not to think of anything but what if’s when Kris has their shoulder pressed against his.

“You know I…,” Kris chews on the inside of their cheek, which Ralsei has learnt is something they do when they’re holding back their thoughts right before they can fall through their lips. “When I first met you, I didn’t really like you.”

“Oh,” Ralsei sinks, a little sad.

“Of course I like you now, and really it didn’t take long for that to happen,” Kris quickly adds. “But I remember seeing you for the first time and thinking you were so…weird?”

“Is this because of the thing Noelle said about how you don’t really like making new friends?” Ralsei chuckles, putting things together.

“That and, I guess,” Kris slumps a little, resting their chin on their arm. “I was a little jealous. You’re really good at first impressions, and stuff like that. And being nice and… whatever. I’ve always been kind of a… handful as a kid. I’m kinda bitter sometimes, in that way.”

“Ohhh, is that why you said getting along with Susie was bound to happen?” Ralsei asks. “The two of you are kind of similar like that, right?”

Kris laughs, “Yeah. Yeah, I did say that, and you’re right.”

Ralsei smiles.

“For a little while, I wished how great it would be if I was more like you,” Kris says quietly. “Maybe I would’ve turned out differently as I grew up.”

“Are you joking?” Ralsei asks, astonished that Kris would say such a thing. “I wish I was more like you. You have such admirable traits, and you are so kind at heart. You are fun to be with, and your jokes are harmless pranks but still jokes. And you love the piano, and your friends and…”

He catches Kris staring, who has gone a little flushed and wide-eyed.

“Oh, I said a lot, didn’t I?” Ralsei flushes, pushing his glasses up. “Maybe-Maybe you could’ve just get me to stop, or something. Is that how you say it? Is that how it goes…?”

“Ralsei,” Kris whispers, and their hand has found their way to his shoulder, and their fingers tap against his ear. “Ralsei.”

He answers by leaning in closer, and thinking if it’s going where he thinks it’s going. Like the movies. Like romantic dramas. He remembers to close his eyes for this.

It’s soft and brief, and when it’s over, Ralsei accidentally follows Kris’ lips as they’re pulling away, which earns a chuckle out of them. Ralsei finds it in himself to laugh with them too, but goodness was that embarrassing.

“Tonight was fun,” Kris says. “We should do this again sometime.”

“The kissing?” Ralsei asks.

“And the kissing, yes,” Kris nods, and that’s how Ralsei realizes they had meant the performance they did.

“Oh. Oh that was…right,” Ralsei pinks. “Yes. I would really love to play with you again, Kris.”

“By the way, before you misunderstand,” Kris tucks their hair back and presses forward again. “The kisses aren’t transactional. You don’t have to play music with me just to get one.”

“Oh. Understood,” Ralsei mutters with a nod, then to make their point, Kris gives him a goodnight kiss that lasts a little longer and feels a little bit like they were telling him something through it, but he couldn’t quite decipher it in time because Kris had taken a step back.

“I’ll close the window tonight,” Kris tells him with a small smile. “So you can head out first.”

Ralsei’s brain, now fried from how much it’s been heated up this whole night from all that blushing, stumbles back from the window and nods again, this time with an unintelligible sound. Kris laughs, watching as he goes to bed, and closes the window for them.

Buying that piano has got to be the best thing Ralsei has ever done. People with crushes should just do weird, silly, crazy and fun things impulsively just because they have a crush.