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I can't work it out
How going through the motions
Going through us
And oh I've known it for the longest time
And all of my hopes
All of my own words
Are all over written on the signs
It hurts for days and probably it's going to hurt forever because Atléti is his heart and soul and this was his last chance to win something, something this big, with them. He knows it's not entirely his fault but he can't help but feel guilty. Everything hurts and yes, life goes on and football is just a game, and all this stuff, and Atléti will lift Big Ears sooner or later but what if he's not the one who's going to lift it? And everything hurts more and more and he can't even count on his Selección to cheer him up because damn Del Bosque didn't call him.
Everything hurts and he doesn't know how to stop the pain.
Everything hurts and his children are worried because he plays with them but at some point he stops and stares at the walls or something else and Nora kisses his hair and says "It's okay, papi, you will always be the best" and Leo takes the ball and screams "I'll win it for you or maybe we'll win the Champions together, papa!" and he's grateful for his kids but still, everything hurts.
Everything hurts and he's not ready to go back to the love of his life. He knows he's the love of his life, always and forever, but he's also the man who crushed his childhood dream two years ago and he did it again this year. They have always been on different teams, the two sides of Madrid, and they decided since the very beginning that it was not going to be a dealbreaker because they wanted to be together too much. Hell, they stayed together even after Sergio almost killed him on the pitch. They had huge fights about their teams but they always found a way to make up, because love is bigger and stronger and is everything to them.
Everything hurts and he doesn't return his calls not even once for a few days. He doesn't reply to his texts and when he finally stops by his house, he tells Olalla to say that he's sick or whatever or just not around. Sergio knows that it hurts, he's been there, but he really wants to see his niño and hug him and kiss his pain away. Sergio knows he's the reason Fernando is hurting, he knows Fernando probably hates him at least a bit now but he also knows that they can't live without each other and he's leaving soon and he needs to see him before going away for (hopefully) an entire month.
Sergio knows. So he doesn't give up hope. He's ready to pick up all the pieces of Fernando's heart, he's ready to glue them back together, he's ready to give him a new heart - he's ready to rip his own heart out of his chest and hand it to him (it's already his, so nothing's going to change). Sergio is ready to do anything to take away Fernando's pain but he doesn't know if Fernando is ready to let him do it.
*
When the door opens, Fernando already knows Sergio is in there.
"You came home," Sergio stands up immediately, looking at him like some kind of miracle.
"I came home."
Fernando sits next to him, he kisses Sergio roughly, "I'm mad and I'm hurt" says on his lips.
Sergio doesn't reply, he takes his hand and kisses him again and again and again, maybe hoping he can kiss away the pain, maybe just because he missed his kisses so much he almost forgot his taste. And he doesn't wanna forget his taste, he doesn't wanna know what is like to not kiss Fernando for days and days, he already lived with that feeling and it's not something he wanna live again because it's the worst thing in the world.
"I'm so sorry, niño, I really am," he whispers on his neck, "I almost wish I could take that gol back."
Fernando frowns, "You almost wish. I see," he's really mad, so mad that even Sergio is kinda scared and they've been together for more than ten years now and they had some seriously huge fights, over the two sides of Madrid and over other things, but he has seen him that angry only a few times.
They sit in silence for a while, so close yet so far. They both can feel it. Sergio wonders why he came home if he's that mad. Maybe he wants to break up with him and there's a part of him that couldn't blame Fernando for it, because Sergio crushed his dreams again and no matter how many times he'll apologize for that, no matter how many times they said that their clubs will never get in their way, he knows that there are scars that can never be healed. And he's sorry he caused so much pain to the love of his life but what if Fernando will never forgive him?
Fernando takes Sergio's hand after a few hours or maybe a few days - they don't know anymore how much time has passed since Fernando first walked through that door.
"That's our life now - you scored, you won the Champions again. I didn't. I didn't anything to help my Atléti. I lost the most important trophy with my club and it doesn't mean I have to lose the love of my life too."
Sergio turns around and smiles.
"I'm still a bit mad and you have to live with that," Fernando says. Then smirks, "You must give me the best blowjob ever, though."
Sergio's laugh is still - and forever will be - Fernando's favourite thing in the entire universe and now that he hears him laugh, he can forget any gol, any team, anything except for the man sitting next to him. He can forget the world, now.
With fingers intertwined
I can't shake this feeling now
We're going through the motions
Hoping you'd stop
And ohhh I've only caused you pain
I know but all of my words will always below
Of all the love you spoke
When you're on my road
Walking me home