Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The late afternoon sun spilled through the blinds, striping the bedroom in gold. Buck tugged at the collar of his shirt, then the sleeve, then the hem. Linen, short-sleeved…casual but nice. It was also the fourth shirt he’d put on and discarded in the last ten minutes, each one ending up in a crumpled heap on the floor by his duffle.

“Do I look like I’m about to meet your family, or like I’m applying for a mortgage?”

Eddie, sitting on the edge of the bed, smirked without looking up from where he laced his boots. “Relax. You look fine. Too fine, actually. How am I supposed to keep my hands to myself?”

Buck huffed, pacing a few steps before turning back. “It’s not funny, Eddie. I’ve literally never met parents before. Not like this. I’ve never been in a relationship long enough to get that far.”

That pulled Eddie’s attention. He stood, crossed the room in three steady steps, and caught Buck’s collar in his hands. He smoothed the fabric down, grounding them both. “You gotta breathe. You’re you. And they’re gonna like you.”

Buck searched his face, his voice low. “As your…friend.”

The word landed sharp between them. Buck tried to soften it, leaning in with a crooked smile. “What kind of friend gets this nervous about meeting the family?” 

His hands slid across Eddie’s shoulders and down his back, fingers pressing into solid muscle beneath thin cotton. His grin turned teasing. “Or spends most of the morning putting pretty little marks all over you?”

Eddie’s lips twitched, but his eyes stayed serious. He dropped his hands from Buck’s collar and turned toward the mirror, jaw tight. “I’m not ready. Not yet.” His voice came quieter now, weighted. “I want to be, Buck. God, I want to be. But with my parents…there’s so much history, so many expectations. I don’t know how to break it all open yet.”

Buck stood still for a beat, then stepped closer, his voice steady. “Then you don’t. Not tonight. You take your time, Eds. I’ll follow your lead.”

Eddie glanced at him in the mirror, the corner of his mouth twitching despite himself. “You always this good at pep talks?”

Buck leaned one shoulder against the wall, grinning. “Nah. Usually I just say something dumb until people forget they were nervous.”

Eddie shook his head, but Buck caught the way his shoulders eased before Eddie jerked his chin toward the door. “Come on. Time to face the firing squad.”

Buck let out a low laugh and, as Eddie brushed past him, slipped a hand fleetingly across the small of his back…just enough for Eddie to feel it, just enough to say I’m here.

When they pulled up to Eddie’s parents’ house, several cars already filled the driveway. They sat in the truck a beat after cutting the engine, both staring at the house glowing in the low sun. Laughter drifted from the backyard, the smell of charcoal heavy in the air.

Buck drummed his fingers on his thigh, glancing sideways. “Last chance to turn around. We could claim car trouble, grab tacos, and pretend this never happened.”
Eddie smirked, but his knuckles tightened on the steering wheel. “Yeah, and then I’d have to explain to my mom why I was a no-show. Not happening.”

Buck leaned back against the headrest, exhaling. “Okay. Just a totally platonic, bro-from-deployment thing. We’ve never made out. I’ve never seen you naked. No homo over here.”

His tone was light, teasing, but Eddie felt the pinch behind his ribs. “Right. For now.”

Buck studied him for a long moment, then reached over and wrapped his hand around Eddie’s knee, squeezing gently, his eyes bright with mischief. “Don’t worry. I’m a professional at playing it cool. Just one of the guys. Totally inconspicuous. I may even flirt with one of your sisters to really sell it.”

“Buck,” Eddie warned, though the corner of his mouth twitched.

“What?” Buck grinned.

Eddie groaned, shoved his door open, and muttered, “You’re gonna be the death of me.”

Inside, the house buzzed with life. His mom and sisters bustled in the kitchen, voices layered over clattering pots and the scent of food. Out back, his dad tended the grill, smoke curling into the sky. Eddie barely made it through the door before Christopher was tugged from his arms, Helena cooing even as she chastised Eddie.

“Oh, your daddy forgot your socks, didn’t he? Your little feet are ice cold. That’s such a silly daddy. Doesn’t he know better than that?”

It was the first little dig, but Eddie knew it wouldn’t be the last. He cleared his throat. 

“Mom, this is Buck. We met on deployment.”

Buck reached out, clasping Helena’s much smaller hand. “Thanks for having me. I know this was a family dinner. It’s nice to be included.”

The handshake didn’t linger; Helena’s attention drifted back to Christopher even as she spoke. “Yes, of course. The more the merrier.”

From the kitchen doorway, Sophia and Adriana exchanged a look, sizing him up. Buck turned his charm on them next, flashing an easy grin. “So you must be the sisters Eddie’s been telling me about.”

Adriana arched a brow. “Oh yes. And we know all his embarrassing stories.”

Buck leaned conspiratorially toward her. “Perfect. I’ll trade you…story for story.”

Eddie groaned. “Don’t encourage them.”
But Buck’s grin widened, eyes flicking back to Eddie just a moment too long. It was quick, gone in a blink, but enough for Sophia to notice the way Eddie shifted, the way his ears pinked.

Through the evening, Buck worked the room effortlessly. He complimented Helena’s cooking, thanked Ramon with a firm handshake by the grill, and charmed Eddie’s sisters with tales from deployment. And beneath it all, the undercurrent thrummed…the brush of Buck’s shoulder against Eddie’s in the crowded kitchen, the quiet glances across the table, the half-smile Eddie didn’t realize he wore whenever Buck laughed.

By dessert, Sophia’s suspicion simmered, but what tipped the evening wasn’t her gaze.

The table was crowded, plates pushed aside for dessert bowls, forks clinking softly. Christopher babbled happily in his highchair. Buck laughed at something Sophia said about Eddie’s terrible taste in music when Helena’s voice cut in, soft but heavy enough to make Eddie stiffen.

“I’m glad you’ve stepped up, Edmundo.” She patted Christopher’s curls, her eyes lingering on Eddie. “But you know what he really needs is his mother. You should talk to Shannon. Try and work out whatever this is.”

The words landed like lead. Eddie’s jaw worked, but he said nothing.

Helena pressed on, tender but insistent, as if she’d said this a hundred times. “I don’t understand why she left in the first place. She loved you. You were good together. Whatever happened, it can be fixed. For Christopher, it should be fixed.”

“Mom.” Eddie’s voice was low, warning, but without force.

Buck stilled beside him, fork halfway to his mouth, bright expression fading. He didn’t speak, only watched Eddie’s face.

“A boy needs his mother,” Helena continued, shaking her head. “You can’t just raise him without her, Eddie. He deserves a family. His family.”

Something in Eddie snapped. His hand hit the table harder than intended, rattling the silverware. “She left because she wanted to, Mom.” His voice was tight, shoulders tense, words spilling sharper than he meant. “You keep acting like it’s something I need to fix. But she’s the one who left.”

The table went quiet, only Christopher’s babbling breaking the silence. Eddie’s gaze flickered down the table, landing on Buck for half a second too long before darting back to his mother. His voice dropped, almost too quiet. “She left because I’m in love with someone else.”

The words dropped like stones into water, rippling through the room.

Sophia’s fork stilled midway, her eyes flicking between Eddie and Buck. Adriana leaned back, studying them both as Buck dropped his gaze to his plate.

Helena broke the silence, urgent, pleading. “No, Eddie. That’s a mistake. You don’t mean that. Marriage is sacred. You made vows to Shannon. You can’t throw that away for…for some feelings.”

Eddie exhaled sharply, jaw tight. “Mom…”

She barrelled on, her hand pressing protectively against Christopher’s back. “Forget this. Forget it. Shannon is your wife, Christopher’s mother. Fix what you broke, Eddie. Don’t ruin your family over this.”

Resolve settled over Eddie like armor. He rose to his full height, hands braced against the table, voice firm. “No.” 

The word cut sharp enough to startle even Ramon who’d been mostly quiet.

Eddie’s chest rose and fell, his voice growing steadier. “I’m not going back. Not to a shell of a marriage. It’s not fair to me, and it’s not fair to Shannon. Not when I know what it’s supposed to feel like now.

His gaze flicked briefly toward Buck before returning to his mother. “Because it’s him. It’s Buck. He’s who I love.”

The room froze. Helena’s hands flew to her chest. “No. That’s not who you are. We didn’t raise you to…” Her voice cracked. “Eddie, this isn’t you. The Church…”

“This is me.” Eddie’s fists curled, chin set. “Whether you understand it or not. I love him. And I won’t apologize for it.”

Buck’s breath caught, quiet but audible in the silence. Eddie’s eyes met his and there was a silent exchange. No words needed, but Buck stood up, heading in to the house to gather Christopher’s belongings.

Sophia moved first. She set her fork down and fixed Helena with a steady look. “He just told you he’s in love. He’s happy. And your first thought is about the Church?”

“Marriage is forever,” Helena whispered, tears spilling.

“You don’t give up,” Adriana cut in, sharp. 

“But Shannon did. Eddie stayed. Don’t punish him for continuing to live.”

Helena faltered, for once without an answer.

Eddie’s voice steadied. “This isn’t going away. I love him. It’s real. And if you can’t accept that, fine. Because I have him. And I have Christopher. That’s what I need.”

No one spoke. The only sound was the click of the sliding door when Buck returned with Christopher’s bag.

Eddie tucked Christopher into his arms and walked, Buck falling into step beside him without a word.

They reached the truck in silence. Buck buckled Christopher in while Eddie stared at the dark sky stretched overhead, heart still pounding…lighter now, even through the ache.

By the time Buck slid into the passenger seat, Eddie exhaled, half-laugh, half-shudder. “For once,” he murmured, raw but sure, “I didn’t back down.”

“So much for ‘my good friend Buck,’” Buck said lightly, trying to ease the air.

Eddie’s grip tightened on the wheel. His voice was rough, scraped raw. “The whole time we were sitting there, all I wanted was to reach for you. Hold your hand. Put my arm around you. Something. And I couldn’t. I kept telling myself…just be his friend, play it safe. But God, Buck…” He shook his head. “I just kept thinking, if I wasn’t such a coward, I could have you next to me. For real.”

Silence stretched, broken only by Christopher’s soft breathing in the backseat.

Buck turned to him, voice steady, sure. “A coward wouldn’t have done what you just did. You stood up to them. Told the truth. Walked out when they refused to see you. That’s not cowardice, Eds. That’s bravery.”

Eddie didn’t look at him. He didn’t need to. The warmth of Buck’s hand finding his across the console was enough.

And for the first time in years, Eddie felt like he was exactly where he was supposed to be.

Chapter Text

The night had been long, heavy in the way only these kind of nights could be. Chris had fought sleep until nearly two hours past his bedtime, restless and clingy, his small hands fisting in Eddie’s shirt as if letting go meant he might wake up to another missing parent. By the time Chris finally settled, Eddie’s head pounded from the effort of patience, of calm smiles stretched thin, of pretending he wasn’t just as lost as his son.

Now the house was quiet. Too quiet. Eddie sat hunched at the kitchen counter, a beer cracked but untouched, staring at the condensation sliding down the glass like it had answers he didn’t. 

The refrigerator hummed. A dog barked down the street. It should’ve felt easier, no more fighting. No more yelling. No more obstacle to whatever the hell he was feeling for Buck. But instead, every room of the house seemed to echo with what she’d said…that he’d come back different, that he’d stopped loving her. That he’d chosen something else.

He’d spent weeks trying not to replay it. Trying not to think about who, exactly, she believed he’d chosen.

The phone buzzed against the counter, Buck’s name flashing. Eddie stared at it for a long moment, thumb hovering. He almost let it ring out. Almost. But then he swiped to answer.

“Hey,” he said, voice low, already betraying him.

“Hey, Eds.” Buck’s voice was bright at first, warm in a way that made Eddie’s chest ache. But then he paused. “You okay? You sound…off.”

Eddie leaned forward, elbows braced on the counter. “I’m just…tired. Chris…he’s down for the night…finally, but…” He hesitated, the words catching, strangling. “I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing. I keep thinking I’m gonna miss something important, that I’m gonna mess him up because I haven’t been here. Doing this…I think I’m a better soldier than a dad.”

There was a breath of static before Buck spoke, voice softer now, steady in a way Eddie clung to. “Hey. You’re not messing him up. You’re there. You’re trying. That’s the part that matters most. He has two parents that love him. Some people don’t even get that.”

The words cut like glass. Eddie’s chest tightened, and before he could stop himself, it broke free. “She left.” His voice cracked, raw. “Shannon. She’s…she’s gone. Left…like three weeks ago.”

The breath Buck let out was sharp, almost a gasp. Like he’d been holding it all along. “You…you didn’t tell me…Eddie, I…”

“Don’t.” Eddie pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes burning. “Don’t say you’re sorry…I don’t even know what that means right now.”

There was a pause, softer this time, Buck reshaping himself to Eddie’s edges. “Okay. Then I won’t.”

The quiet should’ve been comforting, but it wasn’t. It pressed in, suffocating, until Eddie leaned back on his stool and shut his eyes tight. “I got the divorce papers today. She signed over everything. Chris. The house. Everything. She said…she said I came back different. That she could feel it. That I’d fallen out of love with her.”

“And had you?” Buck asked. The gentleness was there, but beneath it was something sharper, like stepping through a minefield barefoot.

Eddie’s throat worked, the truth burning in him like fire. He almost said ‘yes, because of you.’ Almost let it spill out like a dam breaking. But instead…

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

Another silence, thicker this time. Buck didn’t believe him. Eddie could hear it in the way he breathed, steady and patient, like he was waiting for Eddie to catch up to himself.

“She thinks I chose something else,” Eddie admitted, voice low, ragged. “Someone else.”

“And did you?” Buck’s voice was barely there, a whisper lost in static, but it hit Eddie like a thunderclap.

His hand clenched around the phone until his knuckles went white. He forced a chuckle, thin, hollow, all sharp edges. “All I know is…she’s gone, and I’m not really that sad about it. Not like I should be.” 

He wondered if Buck could hear the words he wasn’t saying, that the emptiness in his chest had nothing to do with Shannon leaving and everything to do with a pair of blue eyes a world away.

For a long while neither of them spoke. Just the sound of Buck breathing on the other side of the world, grounding Eddie in ways he didn’t want to admit.

Finally Buck said, “You’re not alone, Eddie. You’ll never be alone. Not as long as I’m here.”

Eddie pressed his fist against his mouth, hard, like he could shove the truth back down his throat. He wanted to say it…You’re the reason. You’re who I chose. You’re the only thing that feels right anymore. But the words stuck, choking him.

So instead, he redirected. “And you? How are you holding up over there?”

Buck hesitated, like he knew what Eddie was doing but let him have it anyway. “Hot. Dusty. Same endless days. Same bad food. I miss…real things.” His laugh was dry, brittle. “I miss feeling like more than a uniform.”

Eddie swallowed, voice low. “You are. More than that. You always were.”

The silence that followed was different this time. Charged. Buck’s inhale sharp, like he wanted to ask what do you mean by that? But he didn’t.

Instead he said, “I’m coming back soon. Less than two months. Literally counting down the days. And then…four whole weeks of freedom before I have to report again.”

Eddie’s whole body buzzed, every nerve ending sparking like Buck had lit a fuse inside him from thousands of miles away. For the first time in weeks, maybe months, Eddie didn’t feel bone-deep exhaustion pressing him into the floor. Instead, he felt awake. Alive.

“Come here…To El Paso...To me.” The words burned, hot and reckless, but he swallowed down the fear. “I…I want you to.”

“I…yeah. Yeah. I will.”

The silence after Buck’s words wasn’t empty. It throbbed, alive, thick with everything Eddie couldn’t let himself say. He gripped the phone tighter, the edge digging into his palm, like pain might steady him.

“Good,” Eddie managed, the word rough in his throat. Too small for the weight of what he meant.

“Good,” Buck echoed, softer. And Eddie could hear the smile in it, could picture the way it tugged at his mouth even thousands of miles away. It twisted something deep in Eddie’s chest, both a relief and an ache.

He cleared his throat, searching for something safe. “You can…you can meet Chris. We’ll hang out. It’ll…it’ll be good.”

“Yeah…good.” Buck’s voice was warm, steady, but Eddie heard the flicker beneath it, the hope, the nerves, the unspoken.

Eddie let out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding. He wanted to say more, to confess that the idea of Buck coming to El Paso had lit a fire behind his ribs. That he’d already started counting the days in secret, as though each one pulled Buck closer. But he swallowed it down, his ribs too tight around the truth.

“I…” Buck paused, quieter now. “I’ll let you know…when I figure out the travel plans. Exact dates. Then we can figure the specifics out.”

Eddie should end the call. He should let Buck sleep, or eat, or do whatever he was supposed to be doing instead of listening to Eddie fall apart. But the thought of hanging up felt unbearable, like cutting off air.

“I don’t know what I’m doing, Buck,” Eddie admitted again, the confession dragged from the deepest part of him. “With Chris. With any of this.”

“You don’t have to know everything,” Buck said softly. “You just have to keep showing up. That’s enough. That’s more than enough.”

Eddie didn’t trust his voice, so he just let the silence stretch, the static wrapping around them like a thread pulled tight.

On the other side of the world, Buck didn’t push. Didn’t demand. Just stayed.

And for tonight, Eddie let himself believe it could be enough.

Chapter Text

Eddie’s lips still tingled when Buck pulled back. His eyes snapped open, brown locking onto blue.

The kitchen felt too small, too still. Even the steady hum of the fridge pressed in on him, a reminder that the world was still moving while his own had just shifted.

Buck’s hand lingered at his jaw, thumb tracing one last line of heat before slipping away. The sudden absence left Eddie hollow, like something had been carved out of him with the retreat.

“I…” Buck started, then stopped, shoulders tight, eyes darting to the tile, the counter, anywhere but Eddie. “I’m sorry. We…we should’ve talked about this…” he gestured helplessly between them, “…first.”

“Buck...” The words ripped out, harsh, raw. 

“I just…I thought…” Buck’s rambling continued, undeterred by Eddie voice.

“Buck…stop...” Eddie stepped forward before he could think better of it, one hand catching Buck’s arm like an anchor. “I wanted that.”

Buck stilled under his touch. For a long beat, he just studied Eddie, head tilted like he was trying to decide if the words were real or just mercy.

Eddie dragged a hand through his hair, tugging hard at the strands, a shaky breath tearing out of him. “I’ve never…” His throat bobbed. “Not with a guy. Never even thought about it…Not really. Until…you.”

Buck’s jaw flexed. His usual restless energy hummed beneath the surface, shoulders shifting, hands twitching, but he stayed rooted, voice careful. “Do you regret it?”

The answer tore out of Eddie fast, instinctive. “No….God, no.” His hand slid down from Buck’s arm to his wrist, squeezing once, firm. His gaze finally met Buck’s. “I just…don’t know what the hell that makes me.”

The admission dropped between them like a stone.

Buck leaned a little closer, voice steady now. “It makes you someone who kissed me. Because you wanted to. That’s it.”

Eddie barked a laugh, sharp and humorless, but it cracked some of the air between them. He tipped his head back, eyes squeezed shut. “Simple as that, huh?”

Buck’s lips tugged into something small, crooked. “Doesn’t have to be more complicated. Not unless you make it.”

Eddie opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling, then down at the floor, anywhere but Buck’s face. He pressed his fist hard into his thigh, trying to keep himself present in the moment even as his mind wandered toward the looping reel of the kiss playing again and again and again. “My whole life…it’s been one thing. Straight. Married. Family man. That’s who I was. Who I was supposed to be. And now…” He lifted his hand, motioning vaguely between them. “You.”

“Me,” Buck echoed, voice soft but steady.

Eddie’s chest heaved. “And I don’t feel wrong about it. Not even a little. Which scares the hell out of me, because what does that mean about who the hell I’ve been all this time?”

“Why should it matter?” Buck asked, stepping close enough that Eddie could see the movement of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed.

“Because it changes everything.” Eddie’s voice cracked. “And I don’t even have the words for what it makes me now.”

Buck moved his hand forcing Eddie to release his wrist. Eddie winced at the suddenly loss, but Buck wasn’t pulling away. His hand found Eddie’s, slotting their fingers together lightly, not quite holding, just offering. “Then don’t label it. Not yet. You don’t owe anyone a definition. Not me. Not yourself. Not tonight.”

The silence that followed wasn’t empty. It was charged, almost alive, the kind that carried weight instead of absence. Eddie felt Buck watching him, steady, patient.

Finally, Eddie lifted his head, meeting his gaze. “So what does this mean for us? That kiss?”

Buck’s mouth curved, small and fragile, but hope burned in it. “It means…I want more. But only if you do. I don’t want to be some…experiment. I don’t want you waking up tomorrow wishing it never happened. For me at least…I’ve never felt this way about anyone, Eddie. Not once. I know there’s something here.”

Eddie moved in, slow but unyielding, until Buck’s spine met the counter’s edge. His hands landed on either side, trapping him there…not rough, but steady, unshakable. Their bodies aligned, so close Eddie could feel the hum of Buck’s breathing against his own.. “I won’t regret it. Not now. Not tomorrow. Not ever. I…I feel it too.”

Buck’s breath hitched, the sound breaking the silence.

“You’re not just some experiment,” Eddie said, his voice steady now. His hand found Buck’s waist, thumb finding its way into the gap where the fabric of his t-shirt ended. He traced the smooth skin he found there, slow, deliberate. “You’re…you.”

Something unspoken flickered between them, bright and hopeful.

Eddie swallowed hard, chest tight, words dragging out before he could second-guess them. “I don’t know what this makes me. I don’t know what it means for us tomorrow or next week. But I do know this…” He leaned in, their foreheads brushing, breath mingling. “From the moment we met, it felt like…I don’t know, like the world tilted. Like something in me recognized you before I even understood why.”

Buck stilled, eyes wide, and for once he didn’t try to fill the silence. He just listened.

Eddie’s voice dropped, rough with honesty. “You’re this…constant pull. Doesn’t matter how far apart we are, I still feel it. Like I was already on this path and every step was just leading me  to you.”

Buck’s hand trembled where it rested against Eddie’s chest, but his eyes shone, blue bright as flame. “I feel it too,” he whispered. “Like we were bound to find each other. And once we did…there was no going back.”

Eddie closed his eyes, letting the words settle in his bones, as undeniable as gravity. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, grounding himself in the Buck’s warmth. The tension between them wasn’t sharp anymore; it was steady, quiet, like the hush after a storm. His hand tightened against Buck’s waist.

“Then we’ll figure it out,” Buck finally spoke, voice low but sure. “One step at a time. As long as you’ll let me take them with you.”

Eddie’s answering nod was small, but it was everything. And when Buck’s shaky smile returned…soft, fragile, but radiant, Eddie finally understood the truth he’d been circling for months: they weren’t just falling into something new. They were colliding with something that had always been waiting.

Chapter Text

The house had finally quieted down. 

Christopher was asleep in his crib, the sound of his soft breathing drifting out of the baby monitor perched on the coffee table between them. The living room felt impossibly large and empty with just the two of them. They were slouched onto the couch, each with a cold beer sweating in their hands. The dim lamp on the end table cast everything in a lazy golden haze, the faint hum of the fridge and whatever was on the TV in front of them, the only other sounds.

Eddie kept his eyes on the TV, though he couldn’t have said what they were watching. Something loud and bright, but his mind kept drifting. Kept circling back to last night. To Buck’s hands steady on his skin, his mouth sure and unhurried, like he’d been there a hundred times before. Like he’d known exactly what Eddie needed before Eddie had the words for it.

And maybe that was the problem…Eddie didn’t have the words. He’d been with women. He’d been married. He knew what comfort felt like, what routine looked like. But this thing with Buck, was different. Softer and sharper all at once. It had been so easy to let himself get lost in it, in him. But easy didn’t mean simple.
His thumb worried at the damp label on the bottle. He shouldn’t care how Buck had known. Shouldn’t need to ask. But the question lodged in his chest anyway, growing heavier each time he tried to swallow it down. What if Buck had done all this before? What if he grew annoyed with Eddie’s fumbling?

Beside him, Buck shifted, laughing faintly at something on screen, and Eddie’s chest tightened. God, he didn’t want to ruin this, whatever this was, but the words pressed harder, clawing for air. He’d rather look like a fool than let the insecurity inside him fester.

Eddie shifted, taking a long swig of his beer, and then cleared his throat. He couldn’t quite meet Buck’s eyes at first, continuing his anxious fiddling with the label instead. 

“So…uh,” he began, voice low, a little tight around the edges, “when we…you know…last night…how did you…?” He trailed off, the question dangling in the space between them.

Buck raised an eyebrow. “How did I…?”

Eddie’s cheeks flushed pink. He looked anywhere but at Buck. “You just…you seemed…like you knew what you were doing. I mean…I guess I just want to know…how you got so…?”

Buck tilted his head, studying him like he had all the time in the world. His face softened into something warmer. “Experienced?”

Eddie groaned softly into his beer, a mix of embarrassment and exasperation. “I didn’t mean to…God, I sound ridiculous. I just…with guys. I’m not your first?”

“Ah…No…Not my first. Buck 1.0 was an equal opportunity offender.”

Eddie’s gaze popped up at that. Eyes meeting Buck’s. “Buck 1.0?”

Buck leaned back into the couch, letting the words hang for a beat before he smiled, a little sheepish. “Yeah…Buck 1.0,” he said, voice soft, almost nostalgic. “I…uh…I haven’t always been…a commitment guy. I had pretty much given up on finding someone to love me. But…I had no shortage of…interest…” He waved a hand vaguely, letting the implication hang in the air. “I…uh, explored a lot. Didn’t really discriminate. Women…men.”

Eddie blinked, half amused, half scandalized. “So, you…you’ve done this before? God…I must have been so…I must have looked like an idiot…fumbling around like…like that.”

“Hey,” he said gently. “You didn’t look like an idiot. You looked like someone who trusted me enough to let me in. To let me help you figure it out. And that…” He shook his head, a little breath of disbelief escaping him. “That meant more than anything I ever did with anyone else.”

Eddie ducked his head, the tips of his ears pink, but Buck wasn’t done.

“Yeah, I’ve been with guys before,” he admitted, his voice still gentle. “Back then…it was about trying things, figuring myself out. I didn’t care if it lasted, and most of the time, it didn’t. It was fun, sure, but it never meant anything.” His thumb traced the curve of his beer bottle absently. “None of them were you.”

Eddie’s breath hitched slightly, the flush returning to his cheeks. He looked down at his beer, suddenly fascinated by the condensation on the bottle. “So…is. Buck 1.0 still around?”

Buck’s grin softened, slow and confident, like he could see every thought racing through Eddie’s mind. “He disappeared the day I met you. And I mean that, Eddie…I haven’t wanted anyone else, not even for a second. From the moment you walked into that tent and patched me up, it was just…you. But you had a whole life…you were married, you had Christopher. And I wasn’t about to be the one to blow that up. So I waited. I knew it had to be you, making the choice. And when you asked me to come to El Paso…I knew. That was the moment. I knew where this were headed.”

Eddie froze mid-sip, the bottle halfway to his lips, heat creeping up his neck. “Really?”

Buck’s smile widened, warm and a little mischievous. “Yes.” 

He shifted on the couch, crawling slowly across the cushions toward him, crowding into Eddie’s space, the movement deliberate, taunting. “See, Buck 1.0 was all about practice.” His grin tilted wicked, but his voice dropped low, warm against Eddie’s ear. “But you…you’re the part where I finally get to put it all to good use. And I really, really like the idea of teaching you everything I learned.”

Eddie’s stomach flipped, fingers tightening around his beer. “Buck…” His voice was a soft warning, but his eyes were bright, caught between embarrassment and anticipation.
Buck let his hand brush against Eddie’s thigh, light and teasing. He leaned forward, pressing a slow kiss to Eddie’s jaw, just grazing the sensitive skin there. Then he paused, letting the contact linger, breath mingling, teasing, before letting his forehead rest lightly against Eddie’s.

The room was quiet except for the soft hum of the fridge, the movie on the screen completely forgotten, the distant tick of the baby monitor, and the rapid thrum of anticipation threading between them. Neither moved too fast, just enough to flirt, to savor, to test the limits of how close they could get without fully tipping over.

Eddie tilted his head, lips brushing Buck’s in a teasing, fleeting kiss. “You’re going to make me lose my mind.”

Buck chuckled low and rumbling, hand drifting lazily along Eddie’s arm. “Good. That’s kind of the point.”

The tension hung between them like a tangible thing, electric and slow-building, promising more without ever crossing the line yet…leaving the moment sweet, intimate, and charged with anticipation.

Chapter Text

Buck tapped his fingers against the steering wheel. The roads blurred past, his grin stretched lazy and satisfied, bringing a brightness to his face that it hadn’t shown in months.

Eddie, sprawled back in the passenger seat, and adjusted the strap of the sling on his arm before shooting him a sideways glance. “You’re awfully pleased with yourself.”

Buck glanced over, smirk tugging at his cheeks. “Getting laid after five-months of celibacy is a beautiful beautiful thing.”

Eddie snorted, but his ears went faintly pink, which only made Buck’s smirk deepen.

“Don’t flatter yourself too much,” Eddie muttered. “I was just making sure you remembered how this marriage thing works.”

“Oh, I remember.” Buck’s voice dropped low, playful. “Though maybe I need another refresher tonight, just to be safe.”

Eddie’s hand drifted to Buck’s thigh, fingers brushing over denim, lingering just a little too high on his leg to be entirely innocent.

Buck shot him a side-eyed glance, brow arched. “Don’t start something you can’t finish. I’m already on a hairpin trigger after our afternoon activities.”

A laugh rumbled out of Eddie, soft and warm. “You’re insatiable.”

“Am I?” Buck teased, his thumb stroking the back of Eddie’s hand still perched on his thigh, although in a slightly less scandalous location. “I prefer…adorable.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, but he leaned just a little closer, muttering, “Adorable, huh?”

Buck’s grin widened. “I’ll also take really, really hot.” He lifted Eddie’s hand, pressing a lingering kiss to the back of it. “God…I’ve missed you.”

Eddie’s teasing faltered, his chest tightening at the honesty in Buck’s tone. “Missed me?”

“Every damn second.” Buck let his hand go reluctantly, eyes flicking back to the road.
The warmth between them lingered, quiet but certain, until traffic slowed and the long line of cars outside Christopher’s school came into view.

Eddie straightened, nerves sneaking through the calm mask. His chest tightened the way it always did before big moments, but this one carried a weight all its own.

Buck noticed immediately. His hand shifted, covering Eddie’s where he had moved it to the console. “Hey. He’s gonna be over the moon to see you.”

Eddie swallowed, eyes locked on the cluster of kids spilling from the front doors. “Yeah. I just…I’ve been gone so long. Missed so much. It felt easier when he was little…when I knew he wouldn’t even remember I was gone. Now it feels like…what if he’s not as excited to see me as I hope.”

Buck shook his head, eyes full on Eddie as the traffic in front of them lulled. “Eds, that boy is going to lose his mind. Trust me on that.”

The line crept forward, until finally a familiar figure emerged. Christopher’s crutches clicked against the pavement, his backpack bouncing with every step. His teacher walked beside him, a light hand on his shoulder as they scanned the rows of cars. As soon as he spotted the Jeep, his eyes brightened, and he took off as fast as his crutches would carry him. 

The door flew open in a rush of chaos and noise, but Christopher’s voice rang out above the din as he climbed inside, his teacher steadying him from behind as he climbed. “Dad!” He chattered excitedly. “I didn’t know you were picking me up today!”

Buck turned, grin spreading. “Hey, buddy! How was school today?”

“It was good! We painted, and we had pizza for lunch, and today was library day, and…” The words tumbled fast as he plopped into his booster seat, tugging his backpack onto his lap and rifling inside. “Look, I got…”

The library book he was pulling out slipped from his fingers as his words cut off midstream. His wide eyes snapped to the front seat, landing on Eddie. His whole body stilled, like the world had frozen with him.

For a breathless second, the Jeep went silent.

“Daddy?” His voice wavered, trembling with disbelief and joy.

Eddie’s breath hitched, his laugh breaking unsteady in his chest as he twisted in his seat. 

“Hey, buddy.” His voice was rough, thick with everything he’d been holding back.

Christopher gripped the arms of his booster seat, staring like Eddie might vanish if he blinked. His gaze darted to Buck, then back to Eddie, still stunned.

Buck let out a soft laugh, “Look at him…our kid’s actually speechless. Never thought I’d see the day.”

That seemed to snap Christopher out of it, and he squinted, head tilting, as if testing whether his eyes were playing tricks. “You…you’re really here? For real?”

Eddie’s throat worked as he nodded, his smile trembling. “For real, mijo. I’m home.” His hand stretched back as far as he could, brushing Christopher’s knee.

The boy let out a breathless laugh, clutching at his father’s hand like he needed proof it was solid.

Only then did the teacher step closer, hand resting gently against the door frame. She offered Eddie a warm, polite smile. “I’m guessing you’re the other Mr. Diaz? Christopher’s been excited for you to come home. He talks about you all the time. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

Eddie’s eyes flicked up, sheepish smile tugging at his lips. “Likewise. Sorry it took me so long…deployment…got in the way.”

“Don’t worry. Your husband was wonderful about keeping me in the loop. I’m glad you’re home safe.” Her smile softened. “You’ve got a very special boy here.”

Eddie swallowed hard, chest tightening at her words. “Yeah…I know. But, it still means a lot to hear.”

She turned back to Christopher, offering him a warm smile, “Bye, Christopher. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

And then she was gone, leaving the Diaz boys alone…together again.

Christopher, seemingly over the shock now, scrambled for his book again, eyes bright. “Daddy, I got a new library book! Can we read it at bedtime?”

“Absolutely. You and me have a lot of bedtime stories to catch up on.”

Christopher’s grin stretched wide, his whole face lit with relief. “I missed you so much.”

Eddie’s voice cracked, soft and certain. “I missed you too, buddy.”

As Buck eased the Jeep back into traffic, his hand found Eddie’s thigh, squeezing gently. “Alright, Diaz boys. Let’s get home. We’re long overdue for a movie night.”

Eddie’s hand covered Buck’s, thumb brushing across his knuckles. His chest loosened for the first time in months. “God…it’s good to be home.”

Chapter Text

The kitchen was bursting at the seams, pots clattering, voices tumbling over one another, Christopher’s laugh rising high and clear over Abuela’s delighted scolding. Eddie loved it.

He’d missed this…missed home, missed family, missed the simple chaos of belonging. But after months of sand, silence, and sharp edges, it was…a lot.

He slipped out onto the small back porch, the sliding door squeaking on the track as it shut behind him. The night air was cooler than he expected, brushing over the sweat at his temples. Eddie plopped into a chair, took a slow breath, let the noise of the house fade into a muffled hum. Just a minute. Just to steady himself.

The door squeaked again. He half expected Buck…Buck knew Eddie down to his core. He knew when Eddie was overwhelmed, when he needed a break, just a minute to catch his breath. But it wasn’t Buck.

Maddie stepped out, carrying a glass of water in one hand, her other tucked into her sweater pocket. She hesitated when their eyes met, like she wasn’t sure if she was intruding. “Mind if I join you?”

Eddie straightened, giving her a nod. “Sure.”

She fell into a chair on the opposite end of the porch, not too close, not too far. They sat in silence for a moment, the quiet settling heavy between them. Maddie was studying him, Eddie could feel it…measuring, weighing. He supposed he was doing the same.

“Too much in there?” she asked softly, after the silence became unbearable.

Eddie mumbled, eyes flicking away from her. “Something like that.”

“You know,” she said finally, tone careful, “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Eddie huffed a small laugh, not looking at her. “Yeah? Can’t imagine from who.”

“Mm,” Maddie hummed, a smile ghosting her mouth. “My little brother isn’t exactly subtle about how he feels about you.”

That loosened something in Eddie’s chest, though he didn’t show it. He kept his eyes on the dark yard, fingers drumming lightly against the arm of the chair. “I’ve heard about you, too.”

Maddie tilted her head, waiting.

He glanced at her then, just briefly.

“Hard not to, when I’m the one who sat with him through three years of silence. Three years of him wondering why his own sister couldn’t pick up the phone.” The words came out sharper than he meant, but he didn’t take them back.

Maddie nodded once, taking the hit without flinching. “Fair enough.”

The quiet stretched. Maddie’s mouth opened like she wanted to respond, then shut again. Her eyes flicked down to the porch, and Eddie caught the guilt there before she masked it. He exhaled slowly, scrubbing a hand over his jaw. The edge in him softened.

“I’m not trying to start something,” he said, voice lower now, steadier. He turned his face to her fully, eyes locked on hers. “I just…why now? After all this time. What made you come back?”

Her eyes lifted to meet his, and there was no defense in them…just weariness, old wounds. She sighed, folding her arms around herself, like she was trying to protect herself even as she was opening up to him.

“I was…broken,” she said finally, the words thin but true. “And I thought staying away was better than dragging him down with me. I didn’t want him to see me like that.”

Eddie studied her profile, searching for the cracks in her voice. He wanted to be angry on Buck’s behalf…Hell, he was angry…but it was hard to ignore the honesty in her tone.

He nodded once, slow. “I get it. People go through things. But Buck…” He swallowed, glancing back toward the house where muffled laughter rose again. “He doesn’t do well with people leaving. Not after everything. So if you’re here now, Maddie, I need to know you mean it. That you’re not gonna vanish on him again.”

He saw her eyes shine faintly in the porch light. Tears she refused to let spill.

“I don’t plan on going anywhere this time,” she said finally…firmly.

Eddie held her gaze a long moment, weighing the truth of it. His shoulders eased a fraction, but his jaw stayed tight. He gave a short nod, then looked back at the door, the noise of family and love pressing against the glass.

“For his sake,” he murmured, “I hope that’s true.”

Eddie’s words lingered in the cool night air, sharper than he’d intended. Maddie unfolded her arms, letting them drop loosely to the arms of the chair, the tension easing out of her shoulders just a fraction.

“I get it,” she said quietly. “You’re protective of him. You should be.” Her gaze drifted toward the window, where the warm glow spilled out from the kitchen, laughter carrying faintly through the glass. “But Eddie…I’ve seen him without you. These last few months, while you were gone…he was trying so hard to be strong, for Christopher, for everyone. But the distance?” She shook her head, her voice softer now, threaded with worry. “It hurt him. I could see it, even when he wouldn’t admit it. He missed you so much it scared him. And…and you hurt him. Your words. You anger. You weren’t here to see it, but I was.”

Eddie shifted, his thumb dragging along the arm of the chair where he sat. That landed…because he’d felt it too, every ache of the separation, every unspoken fear gnawing at him through the loneliness of deployment.

Maddie glanced back at him then, her eyes careful but steady. “I’m not saying this to accuse you. I just…he’s my little brother. I can’t not be protective. So I need to know that you’re really here. That whatever happened while you were gone…that made you treat him that way…I need to know it’s done.”

Eddie drew in a slow breath, his chest rising with the weight of it. He met her eyes at last, steady and sure. “I won’t put him through that again.”

The silence stretched for a beat, not uncomfortable now, just thoughtful. Through the window, Christopher’s laughter rang out, high and bright, cutting through the deeper voices around him.

“He’s pretty great,” Maddie said, her voice lighter now, warm. “Your son. I think I like being an aunt.”

Eddie’s chest loosened at that, pride breaking across his face in a way he didn’t bother to hide. He followed her gaze to where Christopher darted around the kitchen, Buck stooping to catch him, Abuela clapping her hands at the chaos.

“Yeah. He makes loving him so damn easy.” Eddie murmured, his smile soft but certain. “He’s got just…the biggest heart. You can’t help but love him.”

Maddie glanced back at him, her smile widening, more genuine this time. “I feel that. He’s…magnetic.”

Eddie nodded, the sharp edges between them easing further. “He’s lucky, you know. To have Buck. To have you now, too.”

Maddie blinked, a little taken aback, but the gratitude in her eyes was unmistakable. The porch fell quiet again, but this time the silence was companionable, stitched together by something new: the beginnings of trust, built on the boy they both adored and the man they both loved.

Finally, Eddie stood holding a hand out to Maddie and pulling her up. “We should probably get inside before your brother comes looking for us.” And together they walked back into the chaos of the house

Chapter Text

Bobby moved down the line, ticking off the roll call. “Chimney, report.”

“Read you loud and clear.” Chim glanced across the bay, smirking. “I’ve got eyes on Hen, who I can already tell screwed up my coffee.”
Hen rolled her eyes, shooting Chimney an exasperated look. “Like hell. One cinnamon coconut macchiato with a quad shot, half pump of vanilla. And yes, my radio’s working just fine. Over.”

Chim squinted suspiciously into his cup. “There’s no cinnamon.”

Eddie shook his head, amused, while Buck leaned casually against the railing of the loft, grin playing at the edges of his mouth. The two of them had seen plenty of mornings like this…quiet drills, Bobby’s calm voice grounding the team, and Chim and Hen bickering like siblings. It was a rhythm Eddie had grown to depend on.
“Buck, sound off,” Bobby ordered.

But Buck was already looking toward the bay doors, expression brightening. “We have visitors, Cap.”

Bobby sighed. “Buck, the whole point of the test is to say it into the radio.”

Buck lifted the handset obediently, though mischief danced in his eyes. “We have visitors, Cap…Hey, did I pass? Over.”

“Close enough,” Bobby said, but his voice was softened with affection.

Eddie followed Buck’s gaze to the doors. Small footsteps pattered against the concrete, and a familiar voice rang out…clear, eager, and entirely unbothered by the formality of a firehouse radio test.

“Daddy!”

Christopher was here, Carla rushing in behind him, clearly flustered despite the bright smile on her face.

Buck was already on the move, pushing off the railing of the loft and jogging down the stairs two at a time. Eddie fell into step beside him without thinking, the two of them instinctively closing the distance to meet Christopher halfway across the bay.

“You didn’t tell us you were stopping by before school today,” Eddie said, crouching down in front of Christopher.

Carla caught up, still slightly breathless, but with a look that said she hadn’t minded being dragged here. “We weren’t,” she said, shaking her head with a wry smile. “We had a five-alarm school emergency. He’s supposed to tell Mrs. Flores what he’s presenting for show and tell on Friday.”

Buck’s eyebrows shot up, his grin widening as he ruffled Christopher’s hair. “And so he suckered you into stopping here on the way.”

Carla grinned, glancing down at the little boy. “What can I say? You know I can’t resist a cute face.”

Buck’s grin tilted into something knowing, his eyes dancing as he crouched down beside Eddie. “I thought you were bringing your new firefighter helmet Bobby got you.”
Carla let out a laugh, shaking her head. “The helmet is old news. He was snooping in your closet…”

She reached into her bag, careful fingers producing the small, worn case. Flipping it open, she revealed the silver star nestled inside.

The air seemed to shift, just slightly. Eddie’s smile didn’t falter, he wouldn’t let it, not in front of his son and the team, but his shoulders went rigid. Buck caught it instantly, the change so small no one else would notice.

To Christopher, it was a treasure, gleaming and perfect. But for Eddie, the sight of it was a stone in his chest. Not just the memory of the crash, of lives lost and his own hanging by a thread, but of what followed…a family gathering to celebrate, Tía Pepa’s well-meaning betrayal, his parents’ sudden reappearance. The medal was supposed to mean honor, survival, recognition. Instead, it turned every one of those things into a reminder of pain.

The house smelled of chiles roasting, the kind of comforting aroma that should have felt like home. In the kitchen, Abuela and Tía Pepa bustled shoulder to shoulder, trading quick bursts of Spanish as they stirred pots and chopped vegetables, a feast coming together in the familiar chaos of family celebration.

In the living room, Buck sat cross-legged on the rug, Christopher in front of him, a box of legos between them. Eddie leaned back on the couch, watching them with a tired smile. The medal sat tucked away in its case on the mantel, out of sight but not far enough out of mind. He didn’t need to look at it to feel the weight of it pressing in…the crash, Greggs, the hospital. Recognition and loss bound together in silver.

“Almost ready!” Pepa called, her voice buoyant, brimming with pride. She wiped her hands on her apron and glanced toward Eddie with a warm smile. “A feast fit for our hero.”

Eddie forced a polite curve of his mouth.

“Oh, and I was talking to my brother about it the other day…” She tried to make it sound like idle chatter, but Eddie knew that particular brand of false cheer. It was the tone Pepa used when she was about to admit to meddling. “He was so proud of you Edmundo, I told them we were cooking you a special dinner…”

Eddie’s head lifted at that, a prickle of unease threading through him.

Pepa kept her back to him as she stirred a pot, her words tumbling out a little too quickly. 

“Your father and mother…they said they wished they could be here, that they missed you. That maybe they hadn’t done right by you before.” She glanced over her shoulder, her smile tight, hopeful. “I thought…maybe they wanted a chance to fix things.”

Eddie sat up straighter, tension creeping into his shoulders. “Pepa…”

“I didn’t think they’d actually come,” she rushed on, her hands fidgeting with the wooden spoon. “But they said yes, they wanted to, that they should. So…I invited them. Tonight.”

For a heartbeat, silence filled the house. Eddie’s stomach sank, the warmth of the kitchen suddenly stifling.

Before he could even process what Pepa was saying, a knock sounded at the door.

Eddie’s jaw tightened. He looked over at Buck.
Buck didn’t say a word, didn’t need to. His blue eyes softened, steady and certain, telling Eddie everything in a glance: I’m here. Whatever this is, you’re not alone in it.

Eddie exhaled slowly, the weight pressing heavier with every second of silence. Finally, he pushed himself to his feet, each step toward the door feeling like it carried him into a fight he hadn’t agreed to.

And then…he pulled it open.

“Edmundo!” Helena’s voice burst out, bright and eager, as though she were arriving for a holiday party and not the first real conversation with her son in years. She leaned in for a hug before Eddie could react, her perfume bright, familiar, and entirely unwelcome.

“Look at you,” Ramon added, his own smile broad, too polished, too cheerful. He clapped Eddie on the shoulder like no time had passed, as if Eddie hadn’t walked out of their lives years ago and never looked back. “Our hero.”

Eddie froze, torn between reflexive politeness and the instinct to slam the door in their faces. His mouth worked, but no words came.
Behind him, Buck had risen from the rug, hands resting protectively over Christopher’s shoulders. He didn’t interfere…yet…but Eddie could feel his presence like a steadying hand at his back.

Helena’s arms hadn’t even fallen away from Eddie before her attention slid past him, her face lighting up as she spotted the little boy across the room.

“And there he is!” she gushed, sweeping past Eddie without hesitation. She crouched down, hands outstretched, her voice pitched high with delight.

Christopher blinked, shifting closer into Buck’s legs. His brows knit together for a moment in confusion before his natural instinct to charm took over. “Hi,” he said, voice curious more than shy. “I’m Christopher.”

“Oh, sweetheart, of course you are!” Helena laughed, as if the introduction were a game. “I’m your Abuela and this…” she motioned to Ramon behind her, “is your Abuelo. You’ve grown so much since we last saw you. I can’t believe it.”

Buck shifted closer, his hand still firm on Christopher’s shoulder until Helena drew the boy out of reach. He didn’t say anything, there was nothing to say, not yet, but the stiffness in his frame mirrored the tension in Eddie’s. It wasn’t cruel, the way they seemed to look through him, as though he were part of the furniture instead of Christopher’s other parent. Just enough to sting. Just enough to remind Eddie of old patterns.

Before the silence could stretch any further, Pepa swooped in, her voice carrying the same buoyant cheer she’d used since before the knock at the door. “Bueno, bueno, everyone is here now!” She clapped her hands together, the sound sharp enough to cut through the heaviness. “The food is ready, let’s sit.”

She ushered them all toward the patio with the brisk efficiency of someone determined to keep the peace, ladling warmth into her tone as if sheer force of hospitality could bridge years of distance. Abuela followed in her wake, already fussing at her son about not visiting her more, her chatter rising over the awkwardness.

Eddie lingered a moment longer by the door, jaw still tight. Buck met his eyes again, another silent conversation passing between them, before they fell in step with Christopher, guided toward the table Pepa and Abuela had so carefully prepared.

Dinner stretched long and heavy, every course laced with subtext. Pepa and Abuela kept up a flurry of chatter, filling the silence with stories and family gossip. Ramon and Helena chimed in brightly when the spotlight landed on them, but their words felt practiced, curated…compliments wrapped in expectation, pride offered as if to smooth over years of distance.

Eddie listened in silence, his mind wandering in and out of their voices, every smile he managed feeling stiff at the edges.
Buck stayed close, steady, the quiet counterpoint to Eddie’s restraint. Christopher, blissfully unaware of the currents running beneath the table, soaked up the attention, chattering happily between bites.

But even Pepa couldn’t stem the turn when Helena leaned in, her wineglass balanced neatly in her hand, her smile all warmth and intent.

“You’re in over your head, Edmundo,” she said, the cheer in her tone softening the sharpness of the words but not hiding it. “You’ve been drifting ever since you retired. Pepa tells us you don’t even have a job.”

Eddie’s fork stilled. The scrape of metal against his plate seemed loud in the sudden silence. He forced his voice even, measured. “I’m about to start at the fire academy.”

Helena’s brows lifted, her smile never faltering. “We wouldn’t know. You don’t tell us anything.”

“There’s a reason for that,” Eddie shot back, the edge slipping into his voice before he could blunt it.

Her gaze sharpened, the brightness in her eyes cooling. “And then what? You work twenty-four-hour shifts and have no time left for what matters most. And Christopher is the one who suffers.”

The words landed like a blow, but Eddie didn’t flinch. He leaned forward, his hands flat on the table. “Funny. He seemed pretty fine when Buck was the one raising him while I was deployed. And last I checked, we’ve got a pretty solid support system here.”

“Amen.” Abuela added, tilting her glass toward him.

The air around the table thickened, Eddie and Helena locked in a standoff that had been years in the making. Christopher’s fork clinked against his plate, his eyes darting between his father and grandmother with the innocent curiosity of a child who hadn’t yet learned what tension really meant.

Buck caught it instantly. He leaned just enough to bump Christopher’s shoulder with his own, his voice pitched light, conspiratorial. “Hey, buddy, you think we can sneak away and scope out that dessert Tía Pepa’s hiding in the kitchen? I saw cake on the counter earlier.”

Christopher’s face lit up, all thoughts of the adults’ conversation forgotten, as he slid off his chair and followed Buck into the house.

With Christopher gone, Eddie exhaled slowly, his jaw tight, turning his attention back to the battlefield he hadn’t asked for.

“Eddie, you need stability. Christopher needs stability. You and Christopher should come home…” she caught herself, softened her tone, “back to El Paso. With us, you’d have help. Family. People who know how to raise children.”

The words landed heavy, deliberate. Not you all should come. Just you and Christopher.
Eddie’s jaw flexed. “We have stability. We have a home here.”

“You think this is a home?” Helena pressed, her brightness sharpening into something brittle. “Los Angeles is no place to raise a boy. You’re alone here…”

“I’m not alone.” Eddie’s voice was flat, steady, though the muscle in his cheek jumped.

Helena’s brow pinched, as though she hadn’t heard him. Or maybe as though she chose not to. “Back home, he’d have grandparents. Aunts. Cousins. You wouldn’t have to do it all yourself.”

Eddie’s stomach turned, the implication so clear he didn’t bother to disguise his response. “I’m not doing it by myself.”

That gave her pause, the brightness faltering for a beat before she regrouped, lips pressing into a thin smile. “We’re only saying…”

“No.”

The word cracked across the table, harder than Eddie meant it to, but he didn’t pull it back. 

Even Pepa’s spoon stilled midair as if she finally recognized the error of her invitation.

He leaned forward, bracing his forearms on the table, eyes locked on his mother’s. His voice was lower now, steady but thrumming with restrained anger.

“What you’re saying…” He exhaled through his nose, shaking his head. “What you’re saying is you want me to bring our son back to El Paso. Not just mine. Ours. Because Buck has been there since Christopher was seven months old. He’s raised him with me. He’s loves him like his own. And you don’t get to sit in my house and act like that doesn’t count for anything.”

For a heartbeat, the only sound was the soft clink of Abuela setting her glass down too carefully, like she could make herself invisible in the silence.

Helena’s eyes softened marginally, as if she were willing to hear him but her voice took on a lighter, almost condescending tone.

“Eddie, you and…Buck…” she began, gesturing vaguely, “I just thought this phase in your life would have been done by now. You’ve always been impulsive, and I hoped you would come to your senses about your ‘feelings.’ But Christopher, he needs a real family…”

Eddie’s eyes narrowed, the calm he’d tried to maintain snapping under the weight of Helena’s words. He held up his hand, the silver band on his finger catching the glow of the string lights overhead.

“You know what this symbolizes and yet you still come in here speaking about him like that?” His voice was low, steady, and cutting. “I love that man. Christopher loves him. And neither of those facts are going to change just because it doesn’t fit into your idea of how a family should look. I’d like you to leave.”

Helena’s smile faltered, the practiced brightness slipping at last. Ramon opened his mouth, but Eddie’s gaze pinned him in place.

Without another word, Eddie turned and retreated into the house leaving his stunned parents in his wake.

Pepa appeared in the hall seconds later, her expression sheepish. She hesitated at the doorway, hands gripping the edge of the frame. “Edmundo…” she began softly. “I… I didn’t know… Ramon…he was so excited. I didn’t know that Helena would…that she would be so hateful.”

Eddie didn’t answer immediately, just let out a long, shuddering breath. He could feel the tight coil in his chest slowly unspooling, though the sting of the confrontation lingered. “Pepa…I know you had good intentions, but next time…just don’t.”

The memory of the night with his parents lingered in Eddie’s chest like a dull ache, the tension still buzzing faintly in his ears. But the sound of boots clattering across the concrete of the firehouse bay, the familiar chatter of radios, and the bright, eager voice of his son yanked him firmly back to the present.

Eddie knelt to meet his son’s gaze, tilting his head. “You sure this is what you want to bring to school?”

Chris nodded, practically bouncing. “And you! So you can tell the story!”

Buck chimed in from behind him. “Is that a story you can tell first-graders, Eds?”

Eddie’s mouth twitched with a mix of amusement and hesitation. “Not really.”

Christopher’s lower lip jutted out slightly, eyes sparkling with determination. “Please, Daddy. Please?”

Eddie laughed softly, giving in to the persistent charm of his little boy. “Okay. I’ll figure something out,” he said. 

He gave Buck a sidelong glance, an unspoken acknowledgment passing between them as they said their goodbyes and sent Christopher off to school.

As the morning bustle settled into routine, Eddie found himself breathing easier. The medal would always carry its shadows, but standing here, Buck at his side, Christopher’s laughter still echoing in his ears, he realized the weight didn’t feel quite so heavy anymore. Whatever battles waited outside these walls, here, with his son and the family he’d built, he wasn’t fighting them alone.

Chapter Text

Eddie stood rooted in the kitchen, the quiet of the house pressing down on him. The phone was warm against his ear, his grip too tight, thumb worrying the edge of the case like it might split open under his hand. On the counter, one of Christopher’s toys lay tipped on its side, a firetruck…ladder bent, red plastic dulled by the shadows.

He dragged a hand through his hair, tugging at the roots, trying to keep himself from unraveling. His chest ached under the weight of everything pressing in: the orders on the table, the thought of leaving Christopher when every instinct screamed against it, the thought of Buck thousands of miles away.

“I don’t know what to do, Buck.” His voice cracked despite his best effort to hold it steady. “They’re saying it could be four months, maybe longer.” He stopped, throat tight, forcing the words past it. “I thought I’d be able to leave him with my parents if I deployed again. That was my plan, but…”

The words fell apart, unfinished, but Buck didn’t need them. Not after the dinner where Eddie had said the truth out loud, and his mother had tried to shove it back into the dark. Not after the way Buck sat helpless while Eddie’s parents pushed and pushed until all Eddie could do was walk away.

On the other end, Buck was quiet, but not the empty kind of quiet. Eddie knew this silence. He could picture him pacing his apartment, chewing his lip raw, trying to find the right angle to wedge a little light into Eddie’s darkness.

Then, softly, steady: “What if he came to Virginia? With me?”

Eddie froze, heart thudding hard enough to rattle his ribs. “Buck…”

“No, listen.” Buck’s words came fast now, like a floodgate had broken. “If we got married, I’d be his legal guardian while you’re gone. They wouldn’t deploy us both. He’d come with me, stay with me. I’d keep him safe until you got back.”

The silence stretched, weighted. Eddie pressed his knuckles to the counter, steadying himself against the way the world tilted under his feet.

“Buck,” he said at last, low, pained. “We can’t do this. I can’t let you…It’s too much.”

“Do what?” Buck rushed in, filling the space Eddie left. “I mean…I know it’ll be a lot. Getting his doctors lined up, moving therapy over, new daycare…”

“That’s not what I mean.” Eddie shut his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. His voice was raw when it came out. “I don’t want you asking me to marry you because you feel like you have to…because it’s the only solution.”

The silence on the other end of the phone was deafening. Eddie knew Buck had stopped moving. There was no more gentle swish of his feet on the carpet. No more sounds of fabric rustling. Not even the faint uneven pull of air through the line as he breathed. Then…finally…

“Eddie.” His voice softened, steadier now. “You think this is panic? Me trying to fix things?” A shaky laugh broke out of him. “I’ve had the rings for weeks.”

Eddie went still.

“I had a plan,” Buck continued, quieter now, almost afraid to let the words loose. “A real one. Not a phone call in the middle of the night. Do you…do you remember that night in the motel? You teased me about a proposal, and I told you I’d do it right? I’ve been working on it since then. Just…waiting for the right time.”

Memory flickered, sharp and warm, the weight of Buck beside him in the dark, laughter muffled into his shoulder, the quiet certainty in his voice: ‘I can see it. Us, married.’

“This isn’t obligation,” Buck said, firm now, grounding each word. “I already chose you. I already chose Chris. I’m just asking if you’ll let me make it official before the Army takes you away from us again.”

Eddie’s breath caught like he’d been punched. The words sank into him too heavy, too bright, pressing against the cracks in his chest until something gave way. The firetruck blurred in front of him. He blinked hard, but the sting in his eyes only sharpened. His throat was tight, chest heaving shallow like he’d run a mile without stopping.

There was nothing left to hide behind. Just the sound of Buck’s voice in his ear, steady and unshakable, offering him the one thing Eddie had stopped believing he could have: a future he didn’t have to fight for alone.

He already chose me. He already chose Chris.
Eddie squeezed his eyes shut, a ragged breath escaping. “God, Buck…” His voice cracked, raw. “You don’t even know what you just…” He broke off, pressing the heel of his hand against his sternum, like he could hold himself together by force.

Buck shifted on the other end, quiet now, waiting.

Eddie let out a shaky laugh, wet around the edges. “Ask me again.”

There was a pause. “What?”

“Ask me again.” Eddie pressed his forehead to the heel of his hand, breath hitching. “Not ‘what if.’ Not hypothetical.’ Just…ask me. Right now. For real.”

There was a beat of silence on the other end, and Eddie could almost feel Buck freeze, like his brain was short-circuiting.

Then, slowly, Buck exhaled. “Okay,” he said, voice steadier than Eddie expected. “Okay. For real, then.”

Eddie’s chest tightened, his breath snagging.

“You and Christopher…you’re it for me,” Buck said, words tumbling out, rough and unpolished but true. “Every choice I make, I think about you two first. And you…” Buck’s voice broke, softening. “You let me be part of all of it. You let me love him, and you. And I don’t want it to ever be temporary, Eddie. I don’t want there to be a day where you have to wonder who’ll be there for him if you can’t be. Because the answer’s me. It’s always me.”

Eddie’s vision blurred, a hot tear slipping free before he could stop it. His grip on the phone shook.

“So,” Buck said, a nervous little laugh cutting through the rawness, “I don’t have a hotel room with a headboard, or a fancy dinner, or a ring in my hand right now, but I’ve been carrying it for weeks, waiting. And if you’ll let me…I’d marry you tonight, or tomorrow, or any day after that. Just say the word.”

Eddie pressed his fist against his mouth, a broken sound escaping. He couldn’t breathe for a moment, couldn’t think past the swell in his chest. But he didn’t need to think. Not anymore.

“Yes,” he whispered, voice cracking. Then stronger, firmer, as if the truth itself had been waiting months to break free: “Yes, Buck. Of course it’s yes.”

The silence that followed was full but not heavy, charged with something that made Eddie’s whole body ache. He could picture Buck on the other end, eyes bright, lips pressed tight to keep from grinning too wide, hand shoved into his hair because he couldn’t sit still.

“You mean it?” Buck asked softly, almost reverent.

Eddie laughed, broken but sure. “I mean it. God, Buck…I mean it.”

He sagged against the counter, letting the tension in his shoulders melt just a little. The fight, the worry, the ache…all of it had nowhere to go but out in a long, shaky exhale. His fingers lingered on the edge of the phone, tracing the curve like it could somehow reach across the miles and touch Buck.

He thought about Buck there, pacing again maybe, voice steady now, words he had chosen with care. About the certainty in them. The way he always carried the weight of the world for everyone else first, even now, even for him.

Eddie’s gaze wandered around the kitchen, landing on the mundane: a half-empty coffee mug, a stack of mail, that damn toy firetruck still on the counter. And somewhere in the back of his mind, he saw it: a small, unassuming box, tucked away in Buck’s closet, the promise of forever hidden inside.

He closed his eyes, letting the warmth pool behind them. For the first time in a long time, the distance, the orders, the months ahead…all of it felt smaller. Because somewhere out there, Buck was holding that box, holding the future they’d already started to build. And now, Eddie thought, he could finally breathe.

“Okay,” he whispered, voice soft, almost to himself. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

Chapter Text

The drive out to Abuela’s house barely took an hour from the airport, but for Eddie it felt much longer…and not just because of the LA traffic. Christopher had finally drifted off in his car seat, soft snores filling the back seat, while Buck hummed along absently to the radio, drumming his fingers against his thigh.

Eddie should have been relaxed. They weren’t headed into enemy territory, after all. This was Abuela. The woman who raised him alongside his cousins, who fed him tamales at her kitchen table, who pressed a rosary into his palm when he left for basic training. She wasn’t his parents. She had never looked at him with the same sharp disappointment, never made him feel like he had to explain himself just for existing.

Still, his stomach twisted with nerves. He remembered too clearly the last time he told his family who he was…who Buck was to him…the brittle smiles, the judgment masked as concern. He told himself Abuela was different, but the old wound ached anyway, making his hands tighten on the wheel as they turned onto her street.

“Eddie, it’s gonna be okay. This isn’t like last time,” Buck said quietly beside him, as though plucking the thought straight out of his head. “She already knows about you…about us.”

Eddie flicked his eyes toward him, Buck, steady and sure, like he had been since the start, and let out a slow breath.

When they pulled into the driveway, Eddie caught sight of the little stucco house, its porch lined with flowerpots that had definitely seen better days. The front windows glowed in the late morning light, and for just a moment, the sight eased something in his chest. This was Abuela’s place. This was home.

Buck unbuckled Christopher carefully, cradling their sleepy son against his shoulder as Eddie climbed out of the rental car. Eddie lingered by the driver’s side door, scanning the familiar details of the house, fighting down the nerves still humming in his chest.

He told himself it was just because of the news they were carrying…the engagement, the future they were building. It mattered, more than he could say, that Abuela saw them and believed in them. That she understood.

The walk up the narrow path to Abuela’s front door felt heavier than it should have. Buck adjusted Christopher gently against his shoulder, the boy’s curls brushing his jaw, while Eddie trailed just a half-step behind. He could feel his pulse in his throat, his palms damp, the weight of what they were carrying pressing in with every step.

Before he could knock, the door swung open.
“Edmundo,” Abuela said, her voice warm and steady, like no time at all had passed. Her smile deepened the lines on her face, her eyes bright with the kind of love that never dulled. She reached for him at once, wrapping him in a warm hug, as though he were still her boy, not a grown man standing on her porch with a family of his own.

“Abuela,” Eddie breathed, his chest loosening just enough to let the word out.

But then her gaze shifted past him, to Buck.
“And this must be him.” She didn’t hesitate…her hands found Buck’s face, cupping his cheeks as if she had been waiting her whole life to meet him. Buck froze for half a second, startled, before her eyes caught his, and the warmth there melted every awkward edge.

“Dios mío, so handsome,” she said softly, almost reverent. “So…you’re the reason I finally get to see my Edmundo happy.”

Color crept into Buck’s cheeks, his lips parting like he didn’t know what to say. He glanced quickly toward Eddie, wide-eyed and a little overwhelmed, before Abuela leaned in and kissed his cheek, sealing the welcome with the kind of certainty that left no room for doubt.

And just like that, Buck wasn’t a guest. He was family.

Abuela barely paused to take a breath as her attention shifted to Christopher. She scooped him up with ease, cooing and bouncing him lightly, her eyes crinkling in delight at every little squeal or giggle he offered. The boy melted into her arms, instantly captivated.

Before they knew it, Abuela was guiding them toward the kitchen table, bustling around with the practiced rhythm of someone who had spent decades feeding a house full of family. Plates, utensils, and steaming bowls of food appeared almost magically in front of them, her movements brisk but full of care.

Eddie and Buck tried half-heartedly to decline, murmuring about not being hungry after the drive, but Abuela wasn’t having it. She swept past their protests, filling their cups, ladling spoonfuls of her homemade dishes onto their plates, and setting them firmly in front of them. Her hands moved almost constantly, refilling water, adjusting napkins, checking Christopher’s seat, lifting him onto her lap when he squirmed, always keeping him entertained with little faces, funny noises, and tiny, playful dances that had him giggling uncontrollably.

Even as Buck tried to take a bite, Abuela flitted back to the table, adding a condiment jhere, topping off a plate there, holding Christopher up to show him the little scraps of food she insisted he try. She moved with a kind of relentless, affectionate energy that left no room for refusal, turning the meal into more than food…it was an experience, a full embrace of family, laughter, and warmth. And so completely different than the last Diaz family dinner.

By the time the first plates were cleared, Eddie and Buck were both smiling despite themselves, and Christopher’s delighted laughter filled the room, a perfect, unspoken confirmation that Abuela’s hospitality had worked its magic.

Buck caught Eddie’s eye across the small space. No words were spoken, but the glance held a world of unspoken communication: steadying, grounding, a shared understanding that they could do this together.

Eddie cleared his throat, his fingers tightening slightly on the edge of the table. “Abuela… I, um…” He paused, swallowed, then pushed forward before his nerves could swallow him whole. “I wanted to tell you that…Buck and I…we’re engaged. The wedding…well, it’s in two weeks. We know it’s soon, but it makes sense…because my deployment report date is coming up, and we, um, we just…we wanted to make sure it happened before I leave. I know it’s quick, and I just got divorced…and we haven’t, I mean, we haven’t told anyone yet, but we…well, we just thought…we wanted to tell you in person…”

He faltered, cheeks flushing, words tumbling over themselves in his rush to explain before she had a chance to disapprove.

Abuela held up a hand, smiling gently, cutting him off before he could spiral any further. “Edmundo, calm down,” she said softly, voice warm, amused. “Look at you, all fidgety and nervous.”

He exhaled shakily, ashamed of how worked up he’d become. “I…I’m just…my parents…it didn’t go well…me being with a man. And I wasn’t sure what you would think. They thought…that this…that Buck…was a mistake. That I made a mistake. And…and now it’s serious. It’s forever. I didn’t want to…to disappoint you.”

Abuela reached out, placing her hand over his, the warmth steadying him in a way only she could. “Edmundo,” she said, her tone quiet but certain. “God doesn’t make mistakes. And He certainly didn’t make you wrong for loving him.” Her other hand found Buck’s connecting them to each other through her.

Eddie blinked, stunned into silence. Buck’s hand found his thigh under the table, squeezing gently, and he felt the weight of that support, the quiet truth of it. Abuela’s eyes crinkled with gentle amusement and pride, but there was no judgment there, no caution, only love.

For the first time that morning, Eddie felt a thread of relief untangle in his chest.

Abuela’s eyes sparkled as she looked between them, the weight of her approval settling over the table like a warm, heavy blanket. Then, without a moment’s hesitation, she leaned forward, tapping a finger against Eddie’s chest.

“You’re buying me a plane ticket,” she declared, voice sharp but playful. “No excuses. I don’t care if it’s a small wedding…small weddings need Abuelas, sí? And I am coming. You hear me?”

Buck raised an eyebrow, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Yes, ma’am,” he said smoothly, letting the words roll off his tongue with the respect and amusement that only Abuela could command.

Eddie chuckled, shaking his head but nodding. “Of course, Abuela. We wouldn’t dream of not inviting you.”

Her hands clapped together once, decisively, as if the matter were settled. “Good. And since I make the rules…you will have a proper celebration…I will be there to see my boy marry the man who makes him happy, and then we will celebrate.”

Buck and Eddie exchanged a look, a small, private laugh passing between them. There was no resisting her, and honestly, they didn’t want to. Abuela had a way of taking over a room, and somehow, it felt like the most natural, comforting thing in the world.

Several hours later, the hotel room was quiet except for the low hum of the air conditioner and the soft, steady breaths coming from the crib beside the bed. Christopher had gone down hours ago, worn out from the day’s excitement, his little fist curled tight around a stuffed dinosaur Buck had bought him at the airport.

Eddie lay on his side, tucked close behind Buck, one arm draped firmly around his waist. His face rested against the back of Buck’s shoulder, the warmth of his skin grounding him in a way he hadn’t realized he’d needed until now. For the first time all day, the coil of tension in his chest had fully unwound.

Abuela’s words replayed in his head, bright and certain: God doesn’t make mistakes. He hadn’t realized how much he’d been bracing himself for the sting of rejection until it hadn’t come. Until instead, Buck had been pulled into her arms like family, like home.

“Mm,” Eddie hummed softly against Buck’s skin, his voice lazy, content. “You know…I think that fixed something in me today.”

Buck twisted just enough to glance back at him, brow furrowed in that way it always did when he wasn’t sure where Eddie was going with something.

He squeezed Buck a little tighter, lips brushing the slope of his shoulder. “It’s like…she saw us. Really saw us. And she wasn’t disappointed. Not once.”

Buck’s grin softened, crooked and fond. “Well, of course she wasn’t disappointed. Have you seen me?”

“Don’t.” Eddie nudged him, embarrassed and smiling anyway. “I’m trying to be serious here.”

“I am serious,” Buck whispered back, shifting in his arms until they were face to face. His hand found Eddie’s cheek, thumb brushing lightly over his skin. “Eds, your parents…they’re the outliers, not the truth. Not everyone is going to get it, but that doesn’t mean you’re broken. You never were. You just needed someone to love you exactly as you are. Abuela sees that. I see that. And I think you’ll find a lot more people love the real you…the you who doesn’t hide…than you’ve ever let yourself believe.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, but his heart clenched in his chest. He buried his face against Buck’s neck for a moment, letting himself feel it, the peace, the gratitude, the warmth of being loved without condition.

Eddie tightened his hold, his voice softer now. “You don’t even know how amazing you are.”

The silence that followed was comfortable, warm. Eddie closed his eyes, his chest full in a way that felt both new and familiar all at once.

Chapter Text

The first thing Buck felt was warmth. Not the thin kind from sunlight sneaking past the curtains, but the steady kind that came from Eddie pressed against his side, one arm draped heavy across his chest. Buck shifted slightly, the sheets rustling, and Eddie made a low, sleepy sound before burrowing closer.

“Morning,” Buck whispered, voice still gravelly.

Eddie hummed without opening his eyes. “Not yet.”

Buck grinned, letting his fingers trace the curve of Eddie’s shoulder. “Come on. It’s a very important day. We’re getting married.”

That earned him one brown eye cracking open, Eddie’s mouth twitching. “You’re annoyingly chipper for someone who kept me up half the night.”

Buck raised an eyebrow. “Worth it. Every second.”

For a moment, the world outside their bedroom didn’t exist. Just the warmth of Eddie’s body, the soft hush of sheets, the faint static hum of the baby monitor on the nightstand. Every so often, it crackled with the sound of Christopher shifting in his crib down the hall…a reminder that their little world wasn’t just the two of them.

“I can’t believe my life has changed this much in half a year.” Eddie sighed after a long beat, his voice quiet.

Buck tilted his head down, eyes meeting Eddie’s, now open, expression soft in a way he reserved only for Buck.

“I didn’t think I’d ever feel…I don’t know…worthy tn this. I’ve felt so…unlovable. Like there was something wrong with me. I was..too much. Too loud. Too busy. But then you happened.” Buck’s thumb brushed a lazy circle across Eddie’s cheek as he spoke. “You and Chris…you’re everything to me.”

Eddie swallowed hard, leaning forward to kiss him, slow, like a vow. “We get to make it official today. I get to call you my husband.”

Buck’s grin was impossibly bright as he rolled them gently, until Eddie was flat on his back beneath him. Eddie made a small sound in his throat, somewhere between a gasp and a laugh, fingers curling into Buck’s hair as their mouths found each other again. The kiss deepened, suggestive in a way that promised they might be late to their own wedding if Buck had his way, but then…

The baby monitor crackled again, this time with a small, drowsy whine that promised a very awake toddler any minute. Eddie sighed. “Perfect timing…Guess we’re gonna have to take a rain check on this.”

“Guess so,” Buck murmured, kissing him once more before resting his forehead against Eddie’s. 

The quiet didn’t last. Within minutes, Christopher’s whine turned into a full-on fuss, and Buck was the first to swing his legs over the side of the bed. He stretched his arms high over his head, muscles pulling tight before he reached for the baby monitor. “I’ve got him.”

By the time Eddie joined him, Buck already had Chris scooped up from his crib, the boy tucked against his chest and blinking blearily, still half-asleep.

“Hey, buddy,” Buck murmured, bouncing him gently. “Rough morning?”

Chris rubbed at his eyes with a tiny fist, mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like “pancakes.”

Eddie snorted. “At least he’s consistent.”

And so the day began like any other…breakfast sizzling on the stove, Buck and Eddie moving around each other in the kitchen with the practiced rhythm of people who had long ago fallen into sync. Eddie kept Christopher occupied in his highchair, while he cut up strawberries into little pieces. Buck flipped pancakes into the air with ease.

It could have been any Saturday morning…
Except Buck caught himself pausing when Eddie leaned against the counter, sunlight catching the gold in his eyes. 

And Eddie, every so often, would glance at Buck and smile in that soft way that said he was thinking about vows and forever, even if all he said out loud was, “Don’t forget Chris’ medicine.”

Getting dressed was its own adventure. Christopher left the breakfast table sticky from head to toe, syrup clinging to his curls and coating his hands, which meant a bath was unavoidable. Of course, bath time turned into its own ordeal…water everywhere, Buck and Eddie both soaked by the time they managed to scrub him clean. Wrestling him into clothes afterward was no easier; lately, Christopher had decided that he preferred nakedness, and he twisted and squirmed until both men were breathless from the effort. By the time he was finally dressed, it looked like a tiny tornado had spun through his bedroom.

Buck ducked into the bedroom to get dressed next, tugging open the half-unpacked duffle in the corner. It was a constant reminder that as much as today belonged to them, soon he’d be on a plane again. Two days here, maybe three if he was lucky, before duty pulled him back. Their lives were woven together in every way that mattered, but the distance still lingered between them, a seam they hadn’t yet been able to undo. He pulled out a shirt he’d worn a hundred times before, one of his nicest, though still just a simple button-down. Nothing fancy. Nothing formal. He smoothed the fabric over his chest, studied his reflection in the mirror for a beat, and then headed out to the living room.

“Handsome,” Eddie said, low, like it was just for him, bringing a hand up to Buck’s jaw and running his thumb over his check. “I’ll just be a minute.”

Eddie slipped into the bedroom next, the low murmur of Buck’s voice drifting down the hall as he kept Christopher entertained. Closing the door halfway, Eddie stood for a moment, staring at his own reflection in the mirror above the dresser. A year ago, he never would’ve imagined this, standing here, about to marry a man, raising a toddler with him. Back then, his life had felt like a straight line he was walking out of duty, not choice. Married, straight, father…every step weighed down by expectations he couldn’t quite carry.

Now, somehow, everything felt different. The distance was still there, Buck’s duffle in the corner, the looming flight back to Virginia always on the horizon, but unlike with Shannon, it didn’t feel impossible. With her, the miles between them had hollowed him out. With Buck, they only made him hold tighter to what they had. Their lives weren’t easy, not yet, but they were theirs. And that was enough.

He buttoned his shirt slowly, steadying his breath as the noise of his little family carried faintly through the door, grounding him in the present. Today, no matter what had come before, he was marrying Buck.

When he returned to the living room, Buck was sitting with his head tilted back, arms stretched above, Christopher held aloft. The toddler squealed with delight as Buck made airplane noises, swooping him through the air. Eddie smiled, letting the moment linger, the soft chaos of their little family filling the house.

Abuela called shortly after, her voice warm and brisk over the phone, letting them know she and Adriana were already on their way. Buck checked twice, then a third time that the paperwork was packed and ready. The simple courthouse forms lay neatly in a folder on the counter, a quiet but weighty reminder of the day ahead.

Christopher clapped his hands, bouncing on Buck’s lap, and Eddie scooped him up, settling him on his hip. The morning’s chaos, baths, dressing, sticky hands and tiny socks, had faded into something lighter, like the calm before a storm. 

The wedding would be nothing formal, nothing lavish, just the three of them and a couple of family members, but even in its simplicity, it felt monumental.

Eddie glanced at Buck, eyes sparkling “Ready?”

Buck grinned, tousling Christopher’s curls. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

When they walked into the courthouse, the air carried the faint hum of traffic in the distance. Abuela and Adriana were already there, smiles bright and steady. Inside, the clerk’s office was small and efficient, the kind of place that made everything feel simple and procedural. There were no floral arrangements, no music swelling in the background, just the three of them, the witnesses, and the quiet significance of what they were about to do. The forms were signed, the words read aloud, vows exchanged in hushed, careful tones. Christopher watched, perched on Adriana’s lap.

It was over almost before it had begun. No grand speeches, no lingering glances from strangers, just Buck and Eddie, married, their rings sliding into place, hands brushing as if confirming to themselves that this was real. The courthouse walls echoed with the simplicity of it, a mundane backdrop for a moment that felt anything but.

When it was done, Buck bent to kiss Eddie, soft and quick, and then Christopher reached up, clapping his tiny hands. Eddie scooped him close, and Buck rested a hand over their his back, letting the weight of the day settle around them. They were a family now, official in every way that mattered, even if the world outside kept moving in the same quiet, indifferent rhythm it had that morning.

When they stepped into the house that night, Christopher safely squared away at Adriana’s and their new rings glinting on their fingers, Eddie let out a long breath, grinning like an idiot. “We’re married.”

Buck chuckled, tugging Eddie close, their hips brushing as they leaned against each other for a moment. The adrenaline, the nervous excitement, the sheer giddiness of finally saying their vows made the air between them electric. “Feels unreal,” Buck murmured, his lips brushing Eddie’s temple.

The words hung in the air, charged, and Eddie leaned in, catching Buck’s lower lip with his teeth in a slow, playful bite. Buck’s chest tightened, pulse quickening, and the smile he’d worn since the courthouse widened. He pressed closer, fingers tangled in Eddie’s shirt, tugging him just a little, testing, teasing.

Eddie laughed softly against his mouth, low and warm, and Buck shivered at the sound. The tension built like a live wire between them, their touches tentative but heavy with promise, and neither had the energy, or desire, to slow down. Every laugh, every brush of skin, every whispered word carried them forward.

Buck pulled back just a little, breath hot against Eddie’s cheek, letting his forehead rest lightly against his. “We have the whole night,” he murmured, voice low, thick with meaning.

Eddie’s eyes darkened, a smirk tugging at his lips. “And you plan on making the most of it?”

Buck’s grin was all teeth and mischief. “Oh, you have no idea.”

They stayed pressed together in the quiet house, warm and close, the day’s whirlwind behind them, the rest of the night stretching ahead full of possibilities.

Chapter Text

Christopher banged his little fist against the highchair tray, smearing mashed potato across the plastic surface like war paint. Eddie sighed, already plotting how he was going to relocate him to the bathtub with minimum mashed potato added to the decor.

“It’s a lot more fun to eat the mashed potatoes than wear them. I promise.” he sighed. 

Chris grinned, adding another slap to the tray like he was proving a point.

That’s when his phone buzzed on the counter. Eddie glanced over, saw Buck’s name light up the screen, and felt his chest loosen. He swiped it up quickly, turning the phone so Buck could see Christopher perched in the high chair.

“Hey,” Eddie said, a smile tugging despite the mess. “Perfect timing. You get to witness the battlefield that is dinner.” He angled the camera toward Christopher, who had potato on his chin, his cheek, and somehow, his eyebrow.

Buck’s grin appeared instantly, wide and bright, like it always did when Chris was on screen. But something in his eyes didn’t quite match the smile.

“Hey, buddy,” Buck said softly, watching Christopher grab for the phone. “You giving your dad hell?”

Eddie chuckled, pulling the phone further from his grasp. “Always.” 

He turned the phone back around and that’s when he caught it…the set of Buck’s jaw, the way his eyes looked tired and a little bit sad.

Eddie’s smile dimmed. “What’s wrong?”

Buck hesitated. That alone set off alarms. 

Normally, Buck jumped straight in, stories, jokes, complaints. Tonight, he paused. Drew in a breath.

“I, uh…” Buck scratched the back of his neck. “I got orders today.”

Eddie stilled. “Orders?”

“Deployment.” Buck’s voice was calm, but not casual. “We’re wheels up at the end of the week.”

The words settled heavy, but not crushing. Eddie nodded slowly, turning slightly so he could focus his attention fully on Buck. “That fast, huh?”

“You know how it goes,” Buck said, offering a tight smile. “Standby one day, green light the next. Doesn’t give you much time to…process. They’re calling in some type of special team, and apparently, I’m on it. I don’t have a lot of details…at least not that I can share.”

Eddie leaned back in his chair, glancing back at Christopher, who was busy trying to lick the mashed potatoes off his own fist, oblivious. He dragged in a slow breath. “So you’re gone in a few days.”

“Yeah.” Buck’s expression softened, something apologetic in it. “I wanted to tell you right away. Didn’t want to waste time pretending it wasn’t coming.”

”Can you…can you come down? Just for a night or two? So we can say goodbye?”

Buck shook his head, regret flickering across his face. “Wish I could. But we’re locked down until go-time. No leave, no travel. I tried.”

Eddie swallowed, shifting his gaze back to Christopher, who was now patting mashed potatoes into his hair with alarming determination. His throat felt tight, though he tried to keep his voice steady. “Yeah. I…I figured. I just…I wish you’d had more notice. I could have come up there, we could have figured out something.”

Buck leaned closer to the camera, like he could reach through it, bridge the miles with sheer stubbornness. “I hate that it’s like this. Hate that I can’t just hop on a plane and be there. With you. With him.” His voice gentled, slipping out like a truth he wasn’t guarding. “I’d give anything to be home right now.”

Eddie froze. The word hung there between them, heavier than the deployment news.
Home.

Not Virginia. Not the apartment. Not wherever the Navy was sending him next. El Paso. Here. With Eddie. With Chris.

Eddie’s chest went tight, air catching as he tried to play it cool. “You just…you called it home.”

Buck blinked, brow furrowing. “What?”

“You said you wanted to be home,” Eddie repeated carefully. He tipped his chin toward the mashed-potato disaster wriggling in the highchair. “Here.”

It took a second for the realization to sink in. Then Buck’s eyes widened, a little startled, a little sheepish. “Oh. I…I guess I did.”

Eddie’s lips parted, but no words came right away. He didn’t want to make it heavier than it already was, Buck was already staring down deployment, but the warmth that surged in his chest was undeniable.

Buck ran a hand over his hair, suddenly shy in a way Eddie didn’t see often. “Look, I didn’t mean to dump that on you right now. I just…I don’t know, it slipped out. But…yeah. I guess it feels like home. With you. With Chris.”

Eddie swallowed hard, heart thudding. He’d spent months telling himself not to get ahead, not to read too much into the late-night calls, the visits, the way Buck made Christopher laugh like no one else could. But this? This was more than slipping up. This was Buck’s heart talking faster than his head.

And Eddie couldn’t stop the small, stunned smile tugging at his lips. “Good,” he said quietly. “’Cause it feels that way to me too…when you’re here.”

Buck’s shoulders slumped slightly, like he was carrying the weight of both the deployment and the admission. “I hate leaving like this,” he murmured, voice low. “It feels like we’re on the edge of something really really important here, and now I’m headed half way around the world.”

“You’ll call…when you can.” Eddie said firmly. “Just like when you’re in Virginia. It may be a few more miles, but it’s still just distance. You’re here even if you’re not…you know…physically here. And…we’ll text. I’ll send videos. We’ll make it work.”

Buck’s grin faltered slightly, his eyes softening as he shifted the phone closer. “Eddie…I…uh…I need to ask you something?”

“Of course.”

Buck hesitated, like he was weighing his words. “My command…they need me to put my point person down to be notified if something…if something happens to me…while I’m deployed.” 

He paused, but Eddie didn’t dare breathe. He waited because this felt like they were running straight toward a cliff, and he knew he was about to have to make a decision.

“I’ve never really needed to think about it before. My parents…they don’t care. So…I always just put my sister. But…I need to ask…” His voice dropped, quiet and careful, like he was exposing his heart bloody and beating to Eddie at that moment..

Eddie blinked, heart lurching. “Ask?”

“I don’t want to assume anything,” Buck said quickly, gaze locked on Eddie’s face. “Do you want me to put you down? I need to make sure that’s something you want, because…it’s serious. And it…kind of outs us. Puts you in a position…” He swallowed. “…I just need to know you’re okay with that before I even think about doing it.

Eddie’s breath caught, his throat tight. Buck was looking at him like the answer might break him, like this wasn’t just paperwork but a line in the sand.

“Buck,” Eddie said softly, shifting the phone in his hand, as if holding it steadier could anchor them both. “You don’t even have to ask. Of course I want that. If something happens to you, I need to be the one who knows. Not your sister, not anyone else. Me.”

Buck’s eyes flickered, wet at the edges, but Eddie pushed on, voice steady even as his chest tightened. “It’s scary as hell, thinking someone might use this to make assumptions about who I am before I’ve even really figured it out myself. But scarier than that is the idea that you’d be out there hurt…or…or…” he couldn’t bring himself to say it, “…and I wouldn’t know. That I’d be kept in the dark because you were trying to protect me. I don’t need protecting from us.”

For a second, Buck just stared at him, chest rising and falling like Eddie had knocked the air right out of him. Then his lips curved into something small but fierce, a smile that carried both relief and awe.

“God, Eddie,” he breathed. “You have no idea how bad I wish this wasn’t a call right now because you would already be flat on that couch and we would be having a completely different conversation.”

Eddie barked a laugh, sudden and sharp, the heaviness in his chest cracking under the weight of it. And then Christopher let out a squeal, slapping at the highchair tray again, and Buck laughed, wiping quickly at his face.
“Okay,” Buck said, steadying himself. “Then it’s settled. You’re my person on every line of paperwork they throw at me.” He leaned closer to the screen, voice softening. “But I’ll call you tomorrow. And the day after. Every day until I’m wheels up. We’ll squeeze everything we can out of this week.”

Eddie felt his chest ache, heavy and warm all at once. “You better,” he said, his voice low, firm. “Because if you don’t, I’m flying to Virginia just to kick your ass before you even get on that plane.”

Buck’s grin broke through, bright and a little shaky. “Noted. Wouldn’t want to go into deployment injured.”

Eddie chuckled, but the laugh caught halfway, turning into something rougher. He lifted the phone a little closer, eyes on Buck’s. “Be safe, okay?”

“I will,” Buck promised, gaze locked with his. “For you…For him.”

The silence stretched, both of them reluctant to end it.

Finally, Buck exhaled. “Tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow,” Eddie echoed.

And then the screen went dark, leaving Eddie sitting in the quiet kitchen, mashed potatoes smeared everywhere, his heart too full and too heavy at the same time.

Chapter Text

1. Buck

Bright scraps of wrapping paper littered the living room like confetti, a few still curling at the edges where eager little hands had torn them open. A new stuffed dinosaur lay half on its side near the couch, and the faint smell of chocolate cake clung to the air.

It still felt unreal to Buck that they were here at all…married, Eddie relaxed beside him, and their baby…two years old today.

The living room floor was scattered with colorful blocks. Christopher sat in the middle of it all like a little king among his treasures, babbling to himself as he tried to stack two blocks that stubbornly kept toppling over. Sunlight filtered through the blinds, striping his soft curls gold.

Eddie stood a few feet away, quiet, still. His lips curved faintly, but his eyes…Buck knew that look. That soft, faraway look Eddie only got when he was caught between pride and longing.

Buck crossed the room without a sound. He slipped his arms around Eddie’s waist from behind, pulling him back against his chest, and felt him exhale slowly as if he’d been holding that breath for a while. Buck’s chin fit perfectly into the crook of Eddie’s shoulder.

“What are you thinking about?” he murmured, voice low enough that it was just for Eddie.

Eddie’s fingers twitched against Buck’s forearm, absent-minded, like he wasn’t even aware of the touch. 

“That he’s not a baby anymore,” he said, barely above a whisper.

Buck followed Eddie’s gaze to their son…toddler now, not baby…and smiled. “No. He’s not.”

They stood like that for a moment, watching Christopher let out a triumphant laugh when the blocks finally stayed stacked. Then, softly, Buck said, “Do you ever think about having another one?”

Eddie’s breath caught. Just a little. He blinked, the words settling around him like dust in sunlight. “I…wow. I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Why not?” Buck asked lightly, lips brushing Eddie’s shoulder. “You’re pretty good at this whole dad thing…and I miss seeing you with a baby in your arms. It’s pretty hot.”

Eddie huffed out a laugh. “We survived one baby. One. And he’s…a lot.”

“Yeah,” Buck said with a grin Eddie could hear in his voice. “But worth it.”

“Always,” Eddie murmured. He paused, shaking his head slightly. “I just…I’ve never really thought about it. About more. We’ve been living in two different worlds, Buck. You there, me here… it’s just been about holding everything together. About making it work until we’re in the same place again.”

Buck’s arms tightened slightly around his waist, just enough that Eddie could feel the steady beat of his heart against his back. “It won’t be like this forever though,” he murmured. “This…all of this, it’ll finally be done. No more visits and phone calls. We could…” He hesitated, then said it again, gentler, “We could have another.”

Eddie’s throat tightened. The idea of it… of tiny fingers and midnight feedings and a little blond-haired, blue-eyed baby with Buck’s smile…of that all-consuming kind of love again…was beautiful. And terrifying.

He turned in Buck’s arms so he could see his face, those ocean-blue eyes so open and hopeful it made his chest ache.

“You’ve really been thinking about this,” Eddie said quietly.

“Sometimes,” Buck admitted. “More lately. Seeing you with him…seeing us with him. It makes me think maybe…we could do it again. Together this time, all the way through.”

Eddie cupped Buck’s jaw, thumb brushing over the faint stubble there. “I love that you’re thinking about it,” he said gently. “And maybe…maybe someday. But right now? Christopher’s still so little, and we haven’t even had a year together. I just…” He swallowed. “I want to be sure we’ve found our footing first. All of us.”

Buck’s eyes searched his, the edges of that hope softening but not disappearing. “You’re not saying no forever,” he said quietly.

“No,” Eddie promised. “Just…not yet.”

For a moment, Buck didn’t say anything. Then he nodded, slow and understanding, and leaned in to press a soft kiss to Eddie’s forehead.

“Okay,” he whispered. “No rush.”

Eddie smiled, small but certain, and rested his forehead against Buck’s. “No rush,” he echoed.
On the floor, Christopher toppled his block tower with a delighted squeal, and they both laughed, the sound settling warm and easy between them.

“Someday,” Buck murmured, softly.

Eddie’s smile lingered. “Someday.”

2. Abuela

The kitchen was a swirl of sound and scent…garlic sizzling in oil, the steady clatter of spoons against ceramic bowls, voices overlapping in quick bursts of Spanish that cut sharp and bright through the warm air.

“¡Ay, demasiado sal, Mamá!” Pepa scolded as she swept past the stove with a bowl of chopped onions.

“It needs flavor. I will listen to my ancestors on this not you,” Abuela shot back without looking up, flicking her wrist dismissively as she stirred.

Laughter rose and fell like waves, Spanish and English tangling together until it was impossible to tell where one ended and the other began.

Eddie and Buck perched side by side on the counter stools, knees bumping now and then, while Christopher sat in Buck’s lap, drumming a plastic spoon on the counter like he was part of the percussion section.

“Eddito,” Abuela said without looking up from the pot she was stirring, her tone casual but commanding in that way only she could manage, “Christopher needs a sibling.”

Buck froze, the beer he had been nursing halting mid-air in its path to his lips.

Eddie blinked. “Excuse me?”

Abuela waved a hand, still focused on the stove. “He needs someone to play with. Someone to grow up with. One child is lonely.”

“Abue…” Eddie started, but Pepa cut in with a laugh, swooping past them.

“Ay, Mami, you act like they can just pull a baby out of the pantry.” Pepa said, rolling her eyes. “She thinks now that you’ve moved here, she can bully you into having another baby for her to play with.”

Abuela sniffed. “Bully, no…Encourage.”

Buck glanced down at Christopher, who was trying to sneak a piece of cheese off Abuela’s cutting board  with all the stealth of a tiny cat burglar. He grinned despite himself. “I mean… he does like other kids,” Buck offered, tone carefully neutral.

“Buck,” Eddie warned.

“What?” Buck said, wide-eyed and innocent. “I’m just saying…”

“You’re just saying something you’re going to regret when she starts knitting baby blankets,” Eddie muttered.

Abuela turned then, wooden spoon in hand like a royal scepter. “Be kind to your husband, Edmundo. Don’t crush his dreams.”

“Abuela,” Eddie groaned.

She only smiled sweetly at him, then reached over to tap Christopher’s cheek. “Mi cielo, tell your papás they need another one of you.”

Christopher giggled, not understanding a word but beaming like the sun anyway.

Eddie scrubbed a hand down his face. “We just got here. We’re still unpacking.”

“Babies are very small,” Abuela said serenely, turning back to the stove. “They don’t take up much space.”

Pepa barked out a laugh. Buck bit back a smile. Eddie groaned.

Christopher, oblivious to the storm he had apparently started, declared, “More, please.”

Buck sprinkled a few shreds of cheese onto the counter and murmured, “You’re not helping, buddy.”

Abuela didn’t look up. “He agrees with me.”

After dinner, the hum of the tires against the highway filled the quiet, steady and low, like a lullaby. Christopher was slumped in his car seat, head tilted at an uncomfortable angle, mouth parted in soft little snores. The lights from passing cars swept over his face in brief, flashes.

Eddie sat angled toward the window, elbow propped on the door, watching the blur of streetlamps. “I know you brought it up before,” he said after a long stretch of silence. “Is that still something you want? A baby.”

Buck’s hands tightened just a little on the wheel. He kept his eyes on the road. “Yeah,” he said softly. “But…it’s just…we just got here. New city, new house, new everything. I’m about to start the academy. You’re still juggling reserve duty on top of work.” He shook his head, lips pressing into a thin line. “I don’t know how we’d even make it work right now.”

Eddie nodded, thoughtful. “We’d figure it out. We always do.”

“That’s what scares me,” Buck admitted, flicking him a quick glance. “We’d figure it out even if it was too much. We’d burn ourselves out trying.”

Eddie’s chest tightened at that, because he knew Buck was right. He was always the first to leap, and Eddie was always the one to hold the ground steady underneath him, if Buck was saying it, it was probably serious.

“So not now.”

“Not now,” Buck agreed. He relaxed his grip on the wheel and let out a breath that fogged faintly on the cool glass. After a beat, he added, “But someday.”

Eddie smiled faintly, turning his gaze back to the window and the night rushing by. “Yeah,” he said, voice low. “Someday.”

3. Maddie

The living room was dim, lit only by the soft glow of a lamp and the spill of light from the kitchen. The house was quiet in that rare way it only was after Christopher finally gave in to sleep…no chatter, no little calls down the hall for “one more drink of water.”

Maddie tucked her feet up under her on the couch, wine glass cradled in her hand as she flipped another page of the photo album spread across her lap.

“God,” she murmured, smiling at a snapshot of Eddie looking about twelve years old himself, cradling a red-faced, swaddled Christopher in a hospital chair, pride and sheer terror etched across his features.

“First day,” Buck said softly, leaning in to look. There was something in his voice…fond and aching all at once because while the little boy in the picture was his entire world, he hadn’t been there.

Maddie turned a page. There was Christopher at two, his pudgy face sandwiched between. Buck’s and Eddie’s, each wearing a crooked paper party hat, both looking sleep-deprived and deliriously happy.

“Oh my god,” Maddie said, laughing. “Those hats.”

“Abuela,” Buck said with a helpless shrug. “Nonnegotiable.”

Maddie snorted and turned the page again…then stopped.

Buck blinked at her. “What?”

She smiled softly. “This one.”

It was Buck on Eddie’s old couch in El Paso, fast asleep. His arm was flung above his head, mouth slack. Nestled into the curve of his other arm, pressed against his side and the back of the couch, was a much smaller Christopher, maybe nine months old, wearing the exact same expression, the exact same pose.

Maddie traced her finger gently over the photo. Her smile lingered, tinged with something wistful. “Have you ever thought about having another one?”

Buck startled, just slightly, shoulders twitching like he hadn’t expected the words. He let out a low laugh, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Yeah,” he admitted quietly. “Off and on. Just… never been the right time. There was always deployment or distance or money. Something in the way.”

Maddie nodded slowly, still looking at the picture. “You just look…so natural with him,” she said softly. “Like you were always meant to be his.”

Buck glanced toward the hallway, where the faint sound of Christopher’s white noise machine hummed. His voice softened. “He makes it easy.”

They sat there for a moment, wine glasses resting forgotten on the table, the album open between them like the map of another life.

Maddie was quiet for a long moment, eyes still on the photo.

“Do you still want it?” she asked softly. “Now, I mean.”

Buck let out a slow breath, staring at the ceiling. “I don’t know,” he admitted. “Some days…yeah. I think about it. About having that whole experience from the start. About them being ours together.”

Maddie’s gaze flicked toward him, gentle. “And other days?”

“Other days I’m just trying to keep the laundry folded and leave for therapy on time and remember when the trash goes out,” Buck said with a weak laugh. He scrubbed his hands over his face, voice dropping. “It’s a lot, doing it alone while he’s gone. And Eddie…he’s still got so much on his plate. It just… doesn’t feel fair to even think about it yet.”

Maddie reached over and squeezed his arm. “You’re doing great, you know.”

Buck’s throat tightened. He nodded, not trusting his voice, and they lapsed into easy silence, flipping a few more pages before calling it a night.

A couple days later after the house was still and Maddie had gone to bed, Buck’s phone rang, the line crackling faintly with static.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Eddie’s voice came, soft and low, the sound of him bleeding through miles of ocean.
“How’s Chris?”

“Out cold… but good. He’s been nonstop lately.” The tired fondness in his voice gave him away.

Eddie chuckled quietly, the sound rough around the edges.

They lingered in the easy quiet for a moment before Buck said, “Maddie asked me something the other day.”

“Oh?”

“She… asked if we’ve ever thought about having another kid.”

There was a beat of silence on the line, like Eddie was letting the words settle. Then, gently, “What did you say?”

“That I’ve thought about it,” Buck said honestly. “But it’s never been the right time. And right now…” He hesitated. “Right now feels like barely keeping up as it is.”

Eddie replied, “I get it. I’m gone, you’re holding everything down. It wouldn’t be fair to pile more on top of that. So…not now.”

“Not now,” Buck echoed quietly.

“But maybe…someday.” Eddie’s voice was low, quiet.

Buck smiled. “Yeah. Maybe someday.”

4. Eddie

The room was warm and quiet, the sheets tangled around their naked bodies. Eddie lay on his back, head resting on the pillow, fingers loosely intertwined with Buck’s. Buck’s head was tucked into the crook of Eddie’s shoulder, and the weight of him felt grounding in a way Eddie hadn’t realized he’d needed.

Eddie let out a long, contented sigh. “You know…” His voice was low, thoughtful. “It feels…good. Finally being in the same place. For the foreseeable future. Not halfway across the world from each other for months at a time.”

Buck rubbed his thumb against the back of Eddie’s hand. “Feels like we can actually breathe for a minute.” He tilted his head, brushing his cheek against Eddie’s collarbone.

“Yeah,” Eddie said softly, letting his fingers curl slightly tighter around Buck’s. “…And I’ve been thinking.” He hesitated, the words heavy and deliberate. “…About having another baby.”

Buck stiffened slightly, blinking down at him. “Really?”

Eddie nodded, lips quirking into a small, nervous smile. “Yeah. I mean…we’re here. We’re home. Together. And I guess I just… wanted to see how you felt about it.”

Buck’s lips twitched into a grin. “I barely have the energy to breathe, and here you are, hitting me with the heavy stuff.”

Eddie chuckled softly, though there was a hint of tension in it. “I’ve been thinking about it for a couple weeks. Just…didn’t know how to bring it up.”

“I’ve thought about it too,” he admitted after a pause. “But…” He swallowed. “…it’s not the right time. Not yet. You just got home. You’re figuring out what you want to do next. I don’t want to start something like that if we’re not fully ready…if it’s going to add stress instead of joy.”

Eddie let out a quiet sigh, eyes tracing the ceiling. “Yeah… you’re right. I keep thinking about it like it’s easy, like we can just…decide and it happens. But it’s more than that. There’s work, money, stability…we haven’t even talked about how we would go about it.”

“Exactly,” Buck said, tightening his grip on Eddie’s hand. “And we’ve got a good thing here. A solid thing. I want a baby with you. I want it so bad. But I want it to be the right time.”

Eddie shifted slightly, pressing a soft kiss to Buck’s curls. “I know. And…I don’t want to push you either.” His fingers traced idle patterns along Buck’s forearm. “I just…can’t help thinking about it sometimes. About what it would be like. Having another one, our family growing.”

“Yeah. I think about it too. But it’s okay to just… let it sit for now. Live in this. Us. Figure out the rest slowly.”

There was a pause, the quiet hum of the ceiling fan filling the space between them. Buck squeezed Eddie’s hand gently. “But someday,” he murmured, voice soft, almost a whisper.

Eddie smiled, letting the quiet between them stretch just a little longer. “Someday.”

5. Bobby

The 118’s kitchen smelled like butter and coffee, the air warm with the hiss of the griddle cooling down behind Bobby. Plates of pancakes and scrambled eggs and crisp bacon crowded the center of the table like a feast, half-empty syrup bottle sticky between them. 

The team had clustered around the table, chairs dragged close, knees bumping under the cramped space…Bobby at the head, Chim and Hen on one side, and Buck and Eddie on the other, various other members of the crew scattered in the other chairs.

This was what Bobby called “family breakfast,” and what the rest of them had come to think of as sacred.

Buck leaned back in his chair, balancing precariously on the back legs like he had zero regard for gravity or the possibility of head injuries. His eyes were bright with the kind of laughter that came from deep nostalgia. “He’d just had the surgery…tendon lengthening. The whole nine yards. And getting him dressed…” He let out a laugh, running a hand down his face at the memory. “It was like wrestling a very wiggly, very slippery octopus. He was sore and angry and…God, he screamed the second I even looked at a pair of pants.”

Hen winced sympathetically, resting her chin in her hand. “Poor baby.”

“Poor me,” Buck countered, sitting forward, eyes wide in mock-offense. “He was already hard to dress before with how stiff his legs were, but after the surgery? It was like he developed super strength just to fight me off.”

Eddie chuckled, shaking his head as he grabbed a piece of bacon from the communal plate. “Every time I video called from overseas, he was half-naked. Diaper, maybe a sock, and Buck looking like he’d just gone twelve rounds.”

“That’s not true,” Buck said automatically, then paused, squinting as if playing the mental footage back. “Okay, maybe…sometimes true.”

“Sometimes?” Eddie echoed, arching a disbelieving brow as he grabbed another piece of bacon. “Every time, Buck. Once you answered the phone shirtless, and he was wearing your T-shirt like a dress.”

Chim snorted into his coffee, almost spilling it. “You’re telling me you survived combat deployments, Buck, but post-op baby care was what took you down?”

Buck spread his hands in surrender, leaning back like a man making his closing argument. “In my defense, it was my first foray into single parenthood. Up until that point, I always had Eddie to defer to. I was going in blind.”

Eddie’s smirk softened into something warmer. “And he nailed it,” he said, pointing his fork at the others for emphasis. “Eventually.”

Hen grinned, eyes sparkling. “Eventually being the key word.”

“Okay, but you should’ve seen the laundry situation,” Buck added, shaking his head like the memory still haunted him. “I swear baby clothes multiply in the middle of the night. I was definitely stretching the limits of my bachelor pad.”

“That’s because you never folded anything,” Eddie said, shooting him a sidelong look. “Just…clothes mountain in the corner, and I don’t think you can call it a bachelor pad if you were married.”

“I was prioritizing survival,” Buck shot back, but the tips of his ears went pink, and Eddie’s grin widened.

Across the table, Bobby, who had been quietly working on his plate listening to the chatter, set his fork down and glanced up with a small, thoughtful smile. “The way you two talk about him…I’m surprised you didn’t have another one.”

The table went quiet for half a beat, forks pausing midair. Surprise flickered across Buck’s face before he glanced at Eddie. Eddie just raised an eyebrow, lips twitching like he was suppressing a smile.

“We’ve talked about it,” Buck admitted after a moment, shrugging one shoulder, voice softer now.

“Here and there,” Eddie added, gesturing lazily with his fork. “But there was never really a right time. Deployments, training, just…life.”

“Excuses,” Chim said, smirking as he sat back, hands behind his head. “Admit it, you’re just scared of matching tiny socks again.”

Hen pointed her fork at them like it was a gavel. “Or they know one Buck is chaos enough for the entire city.”

“Hey,” Buck said, mock offended, placing a hand dramatically over his heart.

“Tell me I’m wrong,” Hen shot back, grinning.

“Can confirm,” Chim said around a mouthful of pancake, and Eddie actually snorted, head ducking as he tried to hide his smile. Buck rolled his eyes, but his knee bumped Eddie’s under the table, and Eddie didn’t move it away.

Bobby just shook his head, rising from his chair to gather his plate, a knowing smile tugging at his mouth as he watched them. “Well. Something to think about.”

As the laughter slowly faded and the clink of forks resumed, the noise of the firehouse humming softly around them, Eddie’s fingers brushed against Buck’s beneath the table, a fleeting, wordless touch. He caught Buck’s eye, and something passed between them…quiet, certain, and a little wistful.

“Maybe someday,” Eddie said softly.

Buck met his eyes, gaze steady, sure. “Someday.”

+1 Christopher

The cry cut through the stillness of the night, thin and wobbly, but determined.

Buck stirred first, blinking blearily in the darkness of their bedroom. The soft white noise humming from the corner seemed louder now that it had been interrupted. Beside him, Eddie lay motionless on his stomach, face half-buried in the pillow, the steady rise and fall of his back proof that he was somehow still asleep…or trying desperately to be.

Buck reached over, fingers brushing Eddie’s bare shoulder. “I’ve got her,” he mumbled, voice rough with sleep.

Eddie made a low, grateful sound, somewhere between a groan and a sigh, and rolled onto his side, already slipping back under.

Buck swung his legs out of bed, the cool hardwood biting at his feet as he pushed himself upright. The bassinet sat just a few feet from their bed, haloed in the soft glow of the nightlight. Inside, their daughter flailed tiny fists, her face scrunched in a furious little knot of red.

“Hey, hey…shhh, sweetheart,” Buck murmured as he bent to scoop her up. She fit perfectly into the crook of his arm, warm and impossibly small, her cries quieting just enough to hitch as he held her close. He pressed his lips to her downy hair, breathing her in…baby powder and something indefinably new. “It’s okay. Dad’s got you.”

He shuffled out into the dim hallway, their house hushed around him, and made his way to the kitchen. The glow from the streetlamp outside pooled silver across the countertops, catching the edges of forgotten coffee mugs and the faint scatter of burp cloths from earlier in the evening.

Buck moved on autopilot, one-armed and bleary, cradling her against his chest while reaching for a clean bottle with his free hand. She rooted against him, fussing softly as he measured formula, her tiny fingers clutching at the fabric of his shirt like she was anchoring herself to him.

“Impatient little thing,” he whispered, smiling despite the heaviness in his eyes. “You get that from your daddy.”

Eddie’s voice floated out from the entrance to the kitchen, drowsy but fond. “Which one?”

Buck’s huffed a tired laugh, backside resting against the cabinet as he swayed gently, their daughter’s cries softening as she sucked greedily at the bottle.

Buck smiled tiredly. “Couldn’t let me hog all the 3 a.m. bonding time…could you?”

Eddie hair was mussed, his body still sleep warm as he came to lean against the counter beside him, shoulder brushing Buck’s. They stood there in the dim kitchen, wrapped in the quiet that only came with exhaustion and love so steady it didn’t need words.

In the end, the decision was made by Christopher, much like most of their decisions. 

It had started the night Christopher turned eight.

The party had been loud and chaotic, just like their boy…streamers hanging lopsidedly from the ceiling, plates of half-eaten cake abandoned on the coffee table, wrapping paper still clinging to corners of forgotten gifts. By the time the last of the guests had gone, the house was quiet again, lit only by the warm spill of the bedside lamp as Buck and Eddie tucked Christopher into bed.

Christopher was curled beneath his blankets, hair still damp from his quick post-party shower, cheeks pink from all the excitement. Buck perched on the edge of the bed while Eddie leaned against the wall, arms folded loosely.

“Big day, huh, buddy?” Buck said, brushing a thumb gently across Christopher’s forehead to sweep back a stray curl. “Think that might’ve been your best birthday yet.”

Christopher beamed, then yawned so wide it scrunched up his whole face. “Yeah. It was good.”

Eddie smiled. “Did you make your wish when you blew out the candles?”

“Mm-hm,” Christopher murmured, snuggling deeper into his blankets.

“What’d you wish for?” Buck asked, his tone teasing.

Christopher’s eyes went wide. “I can’t tell you. If I tell, it won’t come true.”

“Aw, come on,” Buck coaxed gently, leaning down so they were eye level. “We won’t tell anyone else.”

Eddie smirked from the wall. “We’re very good secret keepers.”

Christopher hesitated, chewing on his bottom lip, then looking up at them with serious eyes, “You promise?”

“We won’t,” Eddie promised softly.

There was another moment of quiet before Christopher peeked up at them, voice small but earnest.

“I wished for… a little brother. Or…or a sister. Just…a baby.”

The words hung there, delicate and impossibly heavy all at once.

Buck’s smile faltered, surprise flickering across his face as he glanced at Eddie. Eddie was already watching him, unreadable and steady in the lamplight.

Christopher’s face started to crumple when neither of them said anything right away, his eyes darting between them like he was trying to gauge if he’d done something wrong.

“Hey,” Buck said quickly, leaning closer. “You didn’t do anything bad, Chris.”

“Not at all,” Eddie added, his voice warm and sure as he crossed to kneel on the other side of the bed. “It’s okay to want things. Even big things.”

Christopher relaxed a little, his fingers worrying the edge of his blanket. “I just think…I’d be good at it. Being a big brother.”

“You would,” Buck said, smiling softly. “You’d be amazing at it.”

“The best,” Eddie agreed, ruffling his hair. “But for now, you’ve got us all to yourself, okay?”

Christopher’s mouth tugged into a sleepy grin. “Okay.”

“Alright, come on, birthday boy.” Buck tucked the blankets snug around him and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “Sleep.”

“Night.” Christopher mumbled, eyes already struggling to stay open.

“Night, buddy,” they said together, switching off the lamp before slipping quietly out of the room.

The house was dim and quiet, when they stepped out into the hallway. Buck shut the door gently, and Eddie let out a low breath, scrubbing a hand over his face as they padded toward their room.

“Abuela’s been whispering in his ear, hasn’t she,” Eddie said, tone dry but fond. “Filling his head with baby fever.”

Buck huffed a laugh, pulling off his shirt to dress for bed. “Wouldn’t put it past her. Though honestly, he didn’t sound coached. He really meant it.”

Eddie sidled up behind him, carefully turning him until they were chest to chest. “Yeah. He did.”

They were quiet for a beat, the soft tick of the clock filling the space between them. Buck wrapped his arms around Eddie’s neck, his wedding band glinting in the light.

“Feels different this time,” Buck said finally. “All the other times we talked about it…it was always ‘maybe later,’ ‘too much going on,’ ‘not the right time.’” He glanced at Eddie, voice quieter now. “I don’t think we can use those excuses anymore.”

Eddie’s mouth curved, small and wry. “You saying we’ve officially run out of excuses?”

“Pretty much,” Buck admitted, a sheepish grin tugging at him. “We’re stable, we’re settled… no deployments, no training, no chaos…”

“Debatable,” Eddie cut in, smirking. “You’re still you. Still chasing fire and smoke and danger.”

Buck rolled his eyes before bringing them back to meet Eddie’s. “Okay, fair. But still…we could actually do it now.”

Eddie studied him for a long moment, eyes soft in the low light. “You really want this, don’t you.”

Buck’s smile faltered into something more open, more honest. “Yeah,” he said quietly. “I really do.”

Eddie grinned, “Good. Me too.”

And then…

Once the words were out in the open, everything shifted. It wasn’t some wild, impossible dream anymore. It was plans and lists and long talks whispered in the dark after Christopher was asleep.

They talked about how to do it…what felt right for them. Adoption was on the table for a while, until Eddie admitted, a little sheepishly, that he wanted to see Buck’s smile on a tiny face. Buck had gone still at that, throat working, and then just nodded like he couldn’t trust his voice.

So, surrogacy.

They researched agencies side by side on the couch. There were appointments and paperwork and so many questions. They met with a counselor who made them talk through sleepless nights and shifting schedules and what it meant to add another person to their family.

And somehow, quietly and steadily, it all came together. The embryo took. The pregnancy progressed, healthy and steady. And then one ordinary day, after years of someday, their daughter was here…tiny and loud and perfect with Buck’s blue eyes.

Back in the kitchen, Eddie dipped his head and pressed a light kiss to the soft fair hair at the crown of their daughter’s head. She didn’t even flinch, too focused on her bottle.

Then, he let his head rest against Buck’s shoulder, his arm wrapping around Buck’s waist from behind.

“She’s so small,” Buck whispered, as if saying it too loudly might break the spell.

“Yeah,” Eddie murmured, smiling faintly. “Neither of us really got the full experience with one this tiny the first time around.”

Buck’s mouth curved as he reached out to gently run a knuckle down her tiny arm, marveling at the way her fingers flexed around nothing. “We really did it.”

“Yeah,” Eddie said again, softer this time, like he couldn’t quite believe it either.

They stood there for a long moment, just soaking her in…the steady rise and fall of her little chest, the milk-drunk flutter of her eyelids, the perfect bow of her lips around the bottle’s nipple.

“She’s got your nose,” Eddie said eventually, voice quiet but teasing.

“Yeah well…she’s got your stubbornness,” Buck countered, and Eddie snorted under his breath.

Their daughter let out a tiny sigh, like the 
weight of the world had finally caught up with her, and her fingers went slack against Buck’s shirt.

“She’s out,” Eddie said, and Buck nodded, pulling the bottle away gently.

Eddie took it from him without a word, and Buck adjusted their daughter in his arms so her cheek rested against his shoulder, her tiny fist curled just under his chin.

“God, she’s perfect,” Buck whispered.

Eddie pressed a kiss to Buck’s temple. “Yeah,” he said. “She really is.”

And for a moment, in the soft hush of their kitchen, with their daughter warm and sleeping against them, the world felt impossibly, perfectly whole, and they were no longer waiting for someday.

Chapter Text

The screen lit up with Eddie’s name, and Buck answered so fast it was almost embarrassing.

“Hey.” His grin spread easy as he flopped back against his pillows. His hair was still damp, like he’d just stepped out of the shower, and the gray Navy PT shirt he wore was a size too small, pulling snug across his chest in a way that hinted at lean muscle underneath.

On the other end, Eddie appeared on the couch. The lamp in the Diaz living room threw a warm glow over him, though there was still that faint weariness clinging to his eyes from a long day.

“You look way too happy for someone lying in bed alone,” Eddie said, one brow raised.

Buck laughed. “Not alone. I’ve got you.”

Eddie snorted, though the tug of a smile betrayed him. “Corny as hell.”

“Accurate, though,” Buck countered, lifting the phone higher so he could meet Eddie’s gaze head-on. “You like having me like this. On demand. Just say the word and boom…whole Buckley experience, streamed in HD.”

Eddie chuckled, shaking his head. “You sound like you’re trying to sell me something.”

“You bought in weeks ago,” Buck teased. “No refunds, sorry.”

That earned him a soft laugh…the kind that settled deep in Buck’s chest and lingered there. God, he wanted to hear it in person. Wanted to sit on that couch instead of watching Eddie through a screen.

“So,” Eddie said after a moment, shifting against the cushions, “how was your day, Navy boy?”

Buck moved a pillow so he could use it as a phone stand, angling the screen so Eddie could still see him.

“Long. PT this morning was brutal. Then drills, gear checks, meetings…you know, all the fun stuff.” He yawned, then added with a grin, “Highlight of the day’s right now, though.”

“Smooth,” Eddie muttered, though his smile softened, his gaze lingering a little too long on Buck’s face. “Sounds exhausting.”

“Eh.” Buck shrugged, glancing toward the ceiling before looking back at him. “What about you? How’s was your day?”

Eddie exhaled, rubbing at his jaw. “Busy. Took Chris to therapy in the morning, then had to be on base for training. Naturally, that meant the kitchen faucet picked today to start leaking everywhere. Spent half the evening trying to keep Christopher occupied long enough to give me time to fix it. I was…well…unsuccessful is probably an understatement.”

He dropped the phone slightly to reveal his shirt, splattered with pale yellow stains.

“Applesauce?” Buck guessed.

“Applesauce,” Eddie confirmed, resigned. “I’m starting to think PT is giving him superhuman strength. I wasn’t even standing that close.”

Buck laughed, warm and unguarded. “Kid’s got skills.”

“Yeah. It’s all cute and funny…until you’re fighting for your life at bedtime.” Eddie muttered, though the fondness in his voice was impossible to miss. “I spent half the night walking circles around the living room, trying to convince him to close his eyes. He fought it like it was personal.”

“Can’t imagine where he gets that stubborn streak from,” Buck teased, eyes glinting.

Eddie shot him a look. “Don’t start.”

“He finally surrendered in the rocking chair,” Eddie continued, “but only after my arm went numb. When he’s asleep, though, he looks…” Eddie’s shoulders loosened, the memory softening his tone. “He looks so peaceful. I almost forget about the doctors, the therapists, the diagnosis…”

Buck’s chest tightened. He shifted, eyes fixed on Eddie’s tired but tender expression.

“Hey,” he said gently. “You don’t have to carry all that by yourself anymore.”

Eddie’s brow furrowed as he glanced at the phone. “It’s my job.”

“Yeah,” Buck agreed, quick not to push. “But it doesn’t mean you’re alone in it. I’m here…if you’ll let me be.”

For a moment, Eddie didn’t answer. His gaze dropped, then lifted again, something unreadable flickering in his eyes.

Buck softened the weight with a crooked smile. “Besides, if Chris really is developing applesauce-launching superpowers, you’re gonna need backup.”

That pulled a quiet laugh from Eddie, the tension easing from his shoulders. “Guess I might.”

The silence stretched, Buck studying Eddie’s features for any sign he’d gone too far.

Then Eddie tilted his head, smile curving into something half-challenge, half-invitation. “You offering backup for everything, or just the applesauce incidents?”

Buck blinked, then huffed a laugh. “Depends. What else you got in mind?”

Eddie leaned back, casual, though the spark in his eyes gave him away. “Well…nights are long. Gets quiet once Chris is down. I could probably think of a few things.”

Buck’s pulse jumped. His eyebrow shooting up into his hairline, grin spreading slow and wicked. “Yeah? I’m listening.”

Eddie’s voice dipped, not crude but low enough to thrum through Buck’s chest. “I feel like I was just figuring the whole thing out…and then you left.”

Buck’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “You know what they say. Practice makes perfect… and we did a lot of practicing.”

Eddie’s mouth twitched, grin threatening. “Yeah. And then you bailed before the final exam.”

“Excuse you,” Buck said, mock-offended. “I didn’t bail. I came back to Virginia for work. Believe me, if I’d had a choice, I’d still be in your bed every night, keeping you up for…study sessions.” He waggled his brows at the camera, drawing a laugh from Eddie.

The hum of distance hung heavy for a moment before Eddie leaned closer to the screen, eyes dark with mischief. “You know what the real problem is?”

“Oh, please enlighten me,” Buck said, reclining with an arm behind his head, flexing just slightly….but he wasn’t about to admit that to anyone.

“I can’t touch…” Eddie gestured vaguely at the phone, “…through a screen. I want to actually…” His voice dropped lower, teasing, deliberate. “…feel you under me.”

Buck barked a laugh, heat rushing through him. “Oh, that’s low, Diaz. Putting that image in my head…”

Eddie smirked, unapologetic.

“You realize I’m not sleeping tonight, right?” Buck groaned, dragging a hand down his face, though his grin was wide. “I’ll just be lying here picturing you on that couch, saying things like that.”

“Good,” Eddie said simply, leaning back, smug. “Besides, you started it with that whole ‘Buckley experience in HD’ line.”

“That was flirting,” Buck argued. “This is cruel and unusual punishment.”

“You’re dramatic.”

“Tell me I’m wrong.”

Eddie tilted his head, considering. “Fine. You’re not wrong. I miss you, you know.”

It wasn’t heavy, just plain and true…but it landed between them with weight all the same.
Buck exhaled, his grin softening. “Yeah. I miss you, too.” He reached out, fingertip brushing the edge of the screen like he could really touch him. “More than I thought I would. Didn’t think it would be this hard.”

Eddie’s gaze lingered before he cleared his throat, shifting back toward teasing. “You should probably get some sleep. Don’t you have to be up early?”

“Mm, yeah.” Buck yawned. “Alarm goes off in like…four hours.”

“Exactly.”

“Yeah, but…” Buck sighed. “I don’t really want to hang up.”

Eddie huffed a quiet laugh. “Lay down. I’ll stay on the line until you fall asleep. I’ll even let you pick one of those boring documentaries to put on, so you’ve got background noise while you drift off.”

Buck grinned, settling deeper into his pillows, phone angled toward him. “You’re gonna regret saying that when I pick one about submarines.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “Figures.”

Buck let out a content sigh, gaze softening. “Night, Eds.”

“Night, Buck.” Eddie’s voice had dropped to a low murmur, warm enough to curl in Buck’s chest.

Neither of them moved to hang up.

The screen stayed lit, the quiet bridging distance. And for now, it was enough.

Chapter Text

Buck shouldered his way into the one-bedroom apartment the Navy had issued him in Virginia, kicking the door shut behind him.

His gear bag slipped from his shoulder and landed with a heavy thud that rattled the floorboards. He stripped out of his damp t-shirt, the fabric clinging after the day’s punishing drills, and let it fall somewhere near the couch. Every muscle in his body ached, but it was the dull, familiar kind…the kind he could live with.

What gnawed at him was this place. The stillness. The way the silence seemed to swallow him whole the second the door shut. Every time he came back to Virginia, it felt harder than the last.

Because he knew what he was leaving behind.

Back in Texas, Eddie’s house buzzed with noise…soft laughter, clattering dishes, the shuffle of Eddie’s boots in the hallway, the tiny sounds of Christopher that seemed to fill every corner. A place alive in a way this sterile little apartment never could be. Eddie’s world didn’t stop when Buck left; it kept moving, kept growing, and Buck was stuck here, surrounded by four empty walls that didn’t care whether he made it home or not.

Buck sank onto the couch, rubbing a hand through his hair before pulling his phone from his pocket. A missed message from Eddie blinked at him, and he swiped it open.

The video filled the screen. Christopher, framed in the middle, dwarfed by the therapist’s hands at his sides.

Buck recognized the walls of the physical therapy clinic instantly. Eddie had sent him enough pictures of Christopher in that room enough times for the details to be etched into his memory…the bright murals splashed across the walls, cartoon animals painted mid-leap, the rainbow alphabet strung above the toy bins in the corner. 

Buck could picture Eddie sitting cross-legged on the mat in front of Christopher.

His voice came through, warm and coaxing: “Come on, mijo. You can do it.”

Buck leaned forward, breath caught, as the therapist’s hands slipped away. Christopher’s small arms held out for balance, his little legs trembling as though every step were a mountain to climb. Then…one, two, three wobbly and crooked steps forward. His smile burst wide just before he collapsed into Eddie’s arms and the image dissolved into a dizzy blur of colors and darkness. Eddie must have dropped the phone, but his voice carried through, beaming with pride. “That’s it! You did it.”

Buck sat frozen, the phone cradled in his palm. His throat tightened. He pressed play again. And again. Until Eddie’s laugh and Christopher’s triumphant squeal filled the tiny apartment like they were alive around him.

He didn’t think…he just hit call. Eddie picked up on the second ring, his face filling the screen.

“You saw it?” Eddie asked, voice steady, a smile Buck could hear even across the miles.

“I can’t believe he’s walking…and I missed it.” Buck’s voice cracked, tight with everything he didn’t say like…I should have been there.

From El Paso, Eddie laughed softly. “He’s not really. Just a few steps. And only right after they’ve stretched his legs out.”

“Still…” Buck groaned, throwing his head back against the couch. “We’ve been working toward it. And then he finally does it…and I’m almost two thousand miles away.” He pressed the heel of his palm into his eyes, trying to turn frustration into something lighter.

Somewhere out of frame, Christopher’s laughter bubbled through the line, bright and uncontained. Buck immediately sat forward, chest aching in a way no workout had ever managed.

“Let me see him,” Buck said quickly, leaning toward the phone like it might close the distance. Eddie flipped the phone, and there was Christopher in his high chair, a plate in front of him, fists full of what looked like mac and cheese.

As soon as Christopher spotted him, his whole face lit up. His chubby hands shot out toward the screen, grabby and determined, but Eddie shifted the phone just out of reach. Christopher’s face scrunched, frustrated, before he finally called out, “Hi!”

From behind the camera, Eddie’s voice was warm. “Yeah. That’s your Buck, isn’t it?”

Buck’s smile burst through, helpless and wide, though his voice carried a wistful edge. “He looks so much older than last time. I feel like…like I’m missing it all.”

The math hit him hard. The last time he’d made it to El Paso had been nearly two months ago. Christopher was just over a year-old now, and the baby he’d been helping raise since he was 7 months old was suddenly hitting milestones Buck hadn’t been there to witness. Two months shouldn’t have felt like a lifetime, but in baby years it was monumental. Every missed laugh, every new word, every change etched itself into Buck like tally marks of absence.  He and Eddie had met halfway a couple of times since he’d last been there, but Christopher hadn’t come. And it was starting to feel like he was missing everything.

The phone flipped back, Eddie’s face filling the screen. “Hey. You’re not missing it all. You come down here as much as you can. I mean…you’re putting yourself in debt doing it.”

Buck didn’t answer, but Eddie must have heard the soft exhale on the other end, the weight of it.

“Buck…” Eddie’s voice gentled.

“I’m fine,” Buck cut in quickly. “I just…miss him. I knew this would be hard, but it sucks being away from you both all the time.”

For a moment, neither of them spoke. Only Christopher’s babbling and the thump of his spoon against the tray filled the silence. Then Eddie angled the phone, letting Buck see the whole scene: Christopher grinning through a messy face, Eddie right beside him, steady as ever.

Eddie’s voice dropped, gentle. “You know that picture on my nightstand? The one of you two knocked out on the couch?”

Buck smiled faintly at the memory…Christopher flush against his side, both of them deep asleep, looking like twins, like they’d always belonged that way.

“He keeps stealing it,” Eddie went on, eyes flicking toward Christopher with something tender. “Carries it around the house like it’s his favorite toy. Holds it up and says your name. Over and over.”

As if on cue, Christopher spotted the camera again and squealed, his little fist smacking the tray. “Uck!…Uck!”

Eddie laughed softly, the sound cracking just a little. “See? You’re not as far away as you think.”

Christopher squealed then as if to punctuate Eddie’s words. Eddie laughed and held the phone closer.

“Say goodnight, mijo. Tell your Buck you love him.”

Christopher pressed a sticky hand against the glass, his face filling the screen for a dizzy second before the phone went flying onto the tray.

Buck laughed, choked and wet, because there was no stopping it. His chest hurt in that splintering way that only came from love. 

“I love you too, buddy,” he whispered, like it was a vow.

Eddie picked the phone back up, grimacing at the mess of cheese and squashed noodles now coating the back.

“I just let him slime my phone. It better have made you feel better.”

Buck grinned, a real one this time. “It did.”

“I’ll call you later, after bedtime?” Eddie’s eyebrows lifted, teasing. “Keep the shirt off.”

Buck’s smirk turned devilish as he shifted the phone, angling it down just enough to show the lines of his chest. “See something you like, Diaz?”

Eddie’s eyes flicked lower before he caught himself, jaw tightening like he was fighting a smile. “Don’t get cocky.”

“Too late,” Buck shot back, leaning closer to the camera. “Besides…you sound like you’re enjoying the view.”

Eddie’s mouth twitched like he wanted to argue but couldn’t quite find the words. Finally, he sighed, low and resigned. “You really are annoying.”

“Annoying and shirtless,” Buck countered, winking. “Your favorite combination.”

That finally cracked Eddie. His laugh slipped free, warm and reluctant, the sound wrapping around Buck like a touch. For a moment, neither of them spoke, just holding each other’s gaze through the glow of the screen, the air thick with things they both wanted but couldn’t have right now.

Buck broke it first, voice softer. 

“Get him to bed, Eds. Then call me back…and maybe I’ll let you boss me around a little.”

Eddie arched a brow, the corner of his mouth twitching. “Maybe?”

“Depends.” Buck shot back.

Eddie shook his head again, but his smile lingered even as he angled the camera toward Christopher. “Later, Buck.”

“Later,” Buck echoed, holding onto that smile long after the screen went dark, warmth curling low in his chest.

Chapter Text

The bedroom was quiet except for the soft hum of the ceiling fan and the distant click of pipes in the old house settling for the night. Eddie moved easily around Buck, tugging the chain on the lamp by his side of the bed while Buck passed behind him with a glass of water in hand. Neither had to look to know where the other was going; a shift of a shoulder, a brush of fingers at the small of a back, and they flowed past each other without missing a beat.

Buck set his glass down on the nightstand and peeled his t-shirt over his head, tossing it onto the chair in the corner. Eddie was already sliding beneath the covers, settling against the headboard, phone in hand. He reached out, catching Buck by the wrist as he walked by, thumb grazing over the inside of his pulse.

“Don’t forget to turn off the bathroom light,” Eddie murmured, not looking up.

“I wasn’t going to,” Buck shot back, grinning as he bent down to press a quick kiss to his lips.

Eddie hummed, low and content, and let him go. They’d done this enough that the routine felt natural now, Buck’s things tucked into drawers, his razor in the cabinet, his running shoes by the door. He might still leave for Virginia on Monday, but here, in this house, in this room, he was home.

When Buck finally slid beneath the covers, Eddie shifted without thinking, opening the space beside him. Their legs brushed together, Eddie’s hand finding its usual resting place against Buck’s chest.

“Chris went down fast tonight,” Buck said, voice soft.

“Long day. Double therapy. Plus, he knew it was Dada airport day. He’s been pretty much buzzing all day. I guess the energy had to run out eventually,” Eddie replied, a gentle smile teasing at the corner of his mouth.

Buck’s arm curled around Eddie’s shoulders, pulling him in closer, and Eddie went willingly.

“His PT thinks swimming lessons could help with his muscle tone,” Eddie added, voice thoughtful. “Low impact, but still strengthening.”

“Hmmm,” Buck hummed, hand tracing faint circles on Eddie’s back.

“I looked into it. It gets expensive, though.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Buck said firmly. “If it helps him, it’s worth it.”

Eddie nodded, lying back down onto Buck’s chest, but Buck nudged him before he could settle. “Don’t forget, it’s time to take the truck in for service.”

Eddie laughed. “See, this is why I don’t need a calendar app. I’ve got you.”

Buck smirked. “Glad to know my photographic memory is good for something other than trivia.”

“Speaking of calendars,” Eddie said, tilting his head back just enough to meet Buck’s eyes, “I’ve got to report for drill next month. You said you could take Chris with you to Virginia that week…does that still work?”

Buck nodded without hesitation. “Yeah. I’ll figure it out. One of my buddies’ wives offered to watch him while I’m at work.”

Eddie shifted, rolling just enough to press his mouth against Buck’s jaw, stubble scratching pleasantly against his lips. “You know,” he murmured, voice warm with suggestion, “we’ve got a few hours before we have to wake up again.”

Buck huffed a laugh, tipping his head back against the pillow. “A few hours before what? Chris wakes up yelling for breakfast? Or you start snoring in my ear?”

“I don’t snore,” Eddie said automatically, indignant enough to lift his head.

“You do,” Buck countered, grinning. “Like, little soldier snores. Precise. On a schedule.”

Eddie smacked his chest, and Buck caught his wrist, tugging him back down so their bodies pressed together. Eddie leaned in again, this time letting his teeth graze along Buck’s collarbone.

Buck groaned softly, threading a hand through Eddie’s hair and tugging him close for a lingering kiss before pulling back. “I want to. You know I do. I’m just…” He sighed, the sound sinking into the quiet around them. “The travel, the hours…I think it’s catching up with me.”

Eddie studied him for a beat, his weight still half draped across Buck’s chest. “You always push yourself too hard.”

“Yeah, well. Comes with the job,” Buck said lightly, though his eyes didn’t quite meet Eddie’s.

Eddie didn’t push, not right away. He just settled in closer, letting silence stretch between them until it was comfortable again.

Then, quietly: “You’ve been like this a lot lately. Tired. Distant when you’re home.”

Buck’s hand smoothed down Eddie’s back, lingering at his waist. “It’s not you. Not Chris. This…” He hesitated, searching for words. “This life…it’s starting to feel heavier than it used to.”

Eddie shifted enough to see Buck’s face, even in the dim light. “Heavier how?”

Buck let out a slow breath, eyes tracing the ceiling as though the words were easier to find up there. “I love what I do. I love the team, the work. But every time I leave here…leave you…leave Chris…it gets harder to walk away. And every time I come back, I feel like I’m missing more than I can make up for.”

Eddie was quiet, giving him space.

“I keep thinking…maybe when this enlistment’s up, I don’t sign on again,” Buck admitted. “Maybe I stop. Just…retire. Be here. With my husband. With our son. Live a normal life for once.”

The words hung there, heavy and fragile.
Eddie’s hand tightened slightly against Buck’s chest. “That’s a big decision, Buck.”

“I know.” Buck dragged a hand over his face. “And I don’t even know if I’m ready to say it out loud. Hell, I’m not even sure what I’d do if I wasn’t a SEAL. It’s been my whole adult life. But I think about missing Chris’ firsts. Missing you. And suddenly it doesn’t feel worth it anymore.”

Eddie studied him carefully. “If you want out, I’ll back you. No hesitation. But I need to ask…are you sure this isn’t just you being tired? Burned out from all the back-and-forth?”

Buck’s laugh was humorless, quiet. “I’ve been tired for a long time, Eds. And it’s not going away.” He turned his head then, finally meeting Eddie’s eyes. “I want to be here. I want to wake up next to you every day. I want to take Chris to school and be the one who fixes the damn sink when it breaks instead of you having to do everything on your own.”

That pulled a soft chuckle out of Eddie, but his gaze stayed steady. “Okay. So you retire. Then what? What does that life look like for you?”

Buck blinked, like he hadn’t let himself picture beyond the first step. “I don’t know. Something…normal. Steady. Maybe something where I still get to use my skills, but not disappear for weeks at a time. Maybe I could…” He broke off with a shrug.

“What?” Eddie’s tone was gentle…he wasn’t pushing, just giving Buck space to think.

Buck was quiet for a long moment, staring at the ceiling again. “I keep thinking about firefighting.”

Eddie’s brows lifted slightly. “Firefighting?”

“Yeah.” Buck huffed a little laugh, self-conscious. “I mean, it sounds cliché, right? Navy guy hanging up his boots and running into burning buildings. But…I like helping people. I like being part of a team. The adrenaline, the problem-solving, knowing what I do matters…that’s the part of the job I don’t want to give up. And firefighting…it feels like that, just without disappearing halfway across the world.”

Eddie considered that, thumb tracing idle pattern along Buck’s ribs. “That doesn’t sound crazy at all. Honestly, it sounds like it fits you.”

“Maybe.” Buck chewed at the inside of his cheek. “Or maybe I’m just trying to force myself into something because I can’t imagine being anything else. The Navy’s been everything for so long.”

Eddie tilted his head so he could look Buck in the eye. “It’s not forcing if it’s what you want. You’re good with people, Buck. You thrive on being part of a unit. And you’ve never been afraid of running toward danger if it means saving someone. Firefighting checks every one of those boxes.”

Buck was quiet again, though a faint smile tugged at his mouth. “You really think I could do it?”

“I know you could,” Eddie said simply. “The question is…do you want to?”

Buck’s arm tightened around him, holding on like he might never let go. “I want you. And Chris. That’s all I know right now.”

“You’ve got us,” Eddie murmured. “No matter what.”

They stayed like that for a long time, the hum of the ceiling fan filling the silence. Eddie’s breathing evened out first, warm and steady against Buck’s chest. Buck stared at the dark ceiling, one hand curled protectively around his husband’s shoulder.

For the first time in months, the thought of a different future didn’t terrify him. It felt possible.

And maybe, just maybe, it was time to stop running away from it.

Chapter Text

The front door clicked open, and Eddie stepped inside with a small brown paper bag tucked under his arm. The air was warm with the smell of garlic and butter, something sizzling low in a pan, and for a moment he just stood in the entryway and let himself breathe it in.

The sound of quiet chatter carried from the kitchen…Buck’s low, steady voice threading between the lighter, higher tones of Christopher. Eddie moved closer, his boots soft against the worn wood floor, and stopped when he reached the doorway.

There they were.

Buck was standing at the counter, sleeves rolled up, one hand steadying the wooden spoon in Christopher’s small fist, the other arm braced firmly at the boy’s back to keep him balanced on the chair. Christopher was serious in concentration, tongue caught between his teeth as he stirred. Buck leaned down just slightly, murmuring encouragement in his ear, his eyes bright with patience.

The sight hit Eddie in a way he still wasn’t used to…even after months of this. Buck home. Home-home. Not calling from some apartment in Virginia, not checking in from god knows where over a bad connection, not existing in bursts of time between assignments. Just here. In their kitchen, sleeves dusted in flour, teaching their three-year-old how to bake cookies.

Eddie felt his chest pull tight. It was everything he used to picture in the lonely nights in El Paso, Christopher tiny in his arms while Buck was halfway across the country. Back then he’d wished for this. For Buck safe. For Buck here. For Buck to be part of the rhythm of their days instead of a ghost who slipped through them.

He stepped forward, crowding into the narrow space next to them, slipping the paper bag onto the surface beside Buck. Buck glanced sideways but didn’t shift, instinctively holding steady as Christopher kept stirring.

“Brought you your lemons,” Eddie murmured, leaning in until his lips brushed Buck’s shoulder.

“Perfect timing,” Buck said, but his voice was soft, touched with something that made Eddie’s chest ache.

Christopher beamed up at him. “Daddy, I’m cooking!”

Eddie reached out, ruffling his curls, and let himself breathe in the moment…Buck’s warmth pressed close, Christopher’s laughter bubbling bright.

Eddie let his hand linger on Christopher’s curls for a moment longer before straightening, breathing in again. “Smells good,” he said, nodding toward the pan.

Buck grinned, eyes still on the spoon Christopher was determinedly dragging through the cookie dough. 

“Some chicken and rice thing I found online. Supposed to be foolproof.” His grin widened. “We’ll see.”

Eddie grinned and moved around to the counter. He tugged the paper bag open, pulling out the lemons and setting them aside, and that’s when he saw it.

A neat stack of envelopes sat off to the side, pushed halfway under a recipe printout. His stomach tightened before he even touched them. They were all the same…white, crisp, his husband’s name printed across each one in sharp black ink. Evan Buckley. Different return addresses, but the same undertone: official. Persistent.

Eddie rested his hand on the edge of the counter, eyes fixed on them. For a moment, the sound of Buck and Christopher’s laughter blurred at the edges, replaced by the quiet thrum in his chest. Letters meant choices. Changes. Things Buck hadn’t said out loud yet.
He glanced back at Buck, who was bent over their son, voice patient and warm. Eddie swallowed hard, thumb brushing the top envelope before he asked, softly, “You planning on telling me about these?”

Eddie’s hand stilled on the top envelope, eyes catching the bold lettering of the return addresses. El Paso. Austin. And then…Los Angeles.

The air seemed thicker suddenly, warmer than just the stove could make it. He’d known Buck had applied, had sat beside him at the kitchen table while he filled out the forms, had watched him go over his résumé three times before sealing the packets. But seeing them stacked here, crisp and final, made the weight of it real. Not an idea. Not a maybe. Choices, waiting.

“They all came today,” Buck said, voice even but soft. He didn’t look away from Christopher, steadying their son’s hand as he scooped out balls of cookie dough and dropped them on the baking sheet.

“All of them?” Eddie asked, though he already knew.

“Yeah.” Buck exhaled, just enough to ruffle the flour dust clinging to his sleeve. “El Paso. Austin. LA.” A small shrug, like it wasn’t life-changing, like it was just another recipe pulled from the internet. “They’re all yes.”

Eddie leaned against the counter, arms folding across his chest, watching the way Buck’s hand hovered protectively behind their son without thinking. Always steady. Always there. The kind of anchor he’d once only imagined Buck could be.

“So,” Eddie said, quiet but sure, “we’ve got a choice to make.”

That pulled Buck’s gaze to him. Blue eyes bright, uncertain around the edges. He didn’t speak right away, just held Eddie’s look like he was searching it for an answer already given. Finally, he nodded. “Yeah. We do.”

Eddie’s gaze lingered on the envelopes, then lifted back to Buck. “So,” he said slowly, “El Paso, Austin…or LA.”

Buck’s lips quirked, but it wasn’t quite a smile. “Not exactly easy, huh?”

“If we stay here, it’s simple. Chris keeps his doctors, we keep the house, nothing changes.” He paused. “But…is that what’s best for ALL of us?”

Buck’s jaw worked as if he were chewing over the words. His hand stayed steady behind Christopher, but his eyes flicked toward the stack of letters. “If we leave El Paso, Eddie… it’s not just the house. It’s your sisters. Your family. That’s a lot to walk away from.”

Eddie shook his head before Buck could say more. “No,” he said firmly. “My family is in this room.” His gaze held Buck’s, unwavering. “I love my sisters, yeah, but they don’t factor here. Not in this decision.”

Buck’s breath caught, just slightly, and Eddie softened his voice, letting the truth settle between them. “Besides… I’ve got family in LA too. Abuela and Pepa. They’d be over the moon to have us close.”

Buck glanced down, a faint smile tugging at his mouth as if he could already picture it…Christopher on Abuela’s lap, fed way too much, spoiled beyond measure. When he looked back up, his eyes were bright, but searching. His eyes flicked back to the letters, his voice low. “But if we’re really talking about this…El Paso’s safe. Comfortable. But it’s small, Eddie. Austin and LA…they’d open more doors. They carry weight.”

Eddie leaned a hip against the counter, studying him. “Prestige,” he said, not unkindly.

Buck nodded. “Yeah. If I train in LA, that’s…” He exhaled, shaking his head. “It’s the top. It’d mean something, not just for me, but for where I can take this career. And…I think we could find even better doctors for Chris there. Specialists we don’t have here.”

“And Austin?” Eddie pressed.

“Bigger city, bigger opportunities. But…still Texas. Not exactly the best place for a couple like us.”

Eddie let the words hang between them, listening to Christopher’s quiet hum as he stirred. Then he said, carefully, “El Paso would be fine. It’d work. But…” His gaze lingered on Buck, steady and searching. “Is fine big enough for you?”

Buck’s throat bobbed, his hand tightening just slightly at Christopher’s back. He didn’t answer right away, but Eddie could see the truth written all over his face.

Eddie’s question lingered in the air…Is fine big enough for you?

Buck kept his eyes on Christopher, watching the slow, uneven scrape of the spoon as he gathered up another lumpy ball of dough. His jaw tightened, then eased. Finally, he let out a breath. “I think…what I actually want…is LA.” The words were quiet, reluctant, like he was confessing something selfish. “It’s the best program, and…and I want to be the best.”

“I guess we’re moving,” Eddie said simply, like it was already settled.

That pulled Buck’s head up fast, blue eyes wide. Eddie just held his gaze, steady and sure, the corners of his mouth tugging like he couldn’t help himself.

“My family’s in this room,” Eddie repeated softly. “And if LA’s where YOU need to be, then that’s where WE need to be.”

For a beat, the only sound was Christopher’s spoon clinking gently against the side of the bowl. Then Buck smiled, like he couldn’t quite believe Eddie had cut through all the fear and second-guessing for him.

Eddie moved forward hand finding the small of Buck’s back, his hand moving up to the nape of his neck before he pulled his head down to his, pressing his lips against Buck’s in a lingering kiss. 

“You always know the right thing to say,” Buck murmured against his lips.

Christopher gave a small squeal of triumph as the spoon finally scraped the bottom of the bowl clean, and Buck bent down to scoop him up. Eddie watched, heart full, as their son wrapped tiny arms around his dad’s neck, looking utterly delighted.

“LA’s going to be amazing,” Eddie said quietly. “Not because of the city, or the academy, or anything else. Because we’re together. That’s what makes it home.”

“Yeah,” Buck agreed. “Together.”

They lingered there, the hum of the oven filling the kitchen, their small family wrapped in that easy, unshakable closeness that had taken years to build…and would take them all the way to LA, together.

Chapter Text

Buck groaned into his pillow, regretting every single drink that had seemed like a great idea last night. The Virginia sunlight streamed through the blinds, sharp and merciless, stabbing right through his eyelids.

His phone buzzed against the nightstand, far too loud, far too cheerful. With a noise that was somewhere between a growl and a whimper, he fumbled for it, nearly knocking it to the floor before dragging it closer.

“Ugh,” Buck groaned, squinting at the screen before accepting the call. “If this isn’t a medical emergency, I’m going to kill you.”

Eddie’s face filled the screen, annoyingly bright-eyed, his dark hair still damp like he’d already showered. He grinned, all warmth and amusement. “Good morning to you too, sunshine.”

Buck winced at the light, angling the phone so only half his face was visible. “Sunshine is overrated.” He squeezed his eyes shut, voice rough. “Why are you calling me at…” He cracked one eye open to glance at the clock. “…nine in the morning? Don’t you have a kid to wrangle?”

The camera jostled as Eddie angled it, giving Buck a glimpse of Christopher on the floor, babbling happily over a pile of blocks. “Already had breakfast. He’s entertained,” Eddie said, smugness dripping from his tone. He refocused on Buck with a smirk. “Some of us didn’t go out drinking with our friends until the wee hours of the morning.”

“Hey… I wasn’t planning on drinking that much!” Buck protested, dragging a hand over his face. “It just… kind of happened. How many times did I call you?”

Eddie chuckled, his shoulders shaking. “Enough that I had to turn my phone on silent to get some sleep. You get real chatty when you’re drunk, you know that?”

Buck groaned and flopped back onto his pillow. “God… I literally don’t remember anything.”

“Is the hangover bad?” Eddie asked, leaning closer to the screen. His grin was downright infuriating.

“Define bad,” Buck rasped. “If I stand up too fast, I might see God. Is that bad?”

Eddie’s laugh rolled through the phone, low and warm, and Buck cracked one eye open just to see it.

“Why are you enjoying my suffering so much?” Buck mumbled.

“Because it’s funny,” Eddie shot back immediately. Then his grin softened, fondness sneaking in at the edges. “Besides, you’re cute when you’re pathetic.”

Buck squinted at the screen, trying to glare but mostly just looking like a kicked puppy. Eddie’s grin widened.

“Alright, enough whining. Sit up,” Eddie ordered, slipping easily into that firm, bossy tone that had nothing to do with the Army and everything to do with how he looked after the people he cared about.

Buck groaned dramatically. “You’re not the boss of me.”

“Nope. Never,” Eddie said, smug. “But I am a medic, and I know exactly what’s good for you right now. So sit. Up.”

Buck flopped onto his side like a petulant teenager. “You’re enjoying this way too much.”

“Watching you suffer? A little.” Eddie smirked, then softened, voice dipping into something warmer. “But mostly because I don’t like seeing you like this. So come on, Buck…up.”

With a long-suffering sigh, Buck propped himself against the headboard. His hair stuck out in every direction, and Eddie’s laugh was instant.

“You look like a frat boy who lost a fight with a leaf blower.”

“You’re cruel,” Buck rasped, though the corners of his mouth twitched.

“Water,” Eddie said firmly, pointing at him through the screen. “Now. Kitchen. Go.”

Heat curled low in Buck’s stomach, though he masked it with another groan.

Eddie leaned closer to the camera, his expression soft but insistent. “Water, Buck…for me.”

Buck dragged a hand down his face, sighing like he was being sent off to war instead of to the sink. “You’re lucky you’re hot.”

“Damn right I am,” Eddie said, smug as ever, watching with satisfaction while Buck finally shoved himself out of bed, phone in hand.

Buck squinted at the screen dramatically as if to play up just how annoyed he was at having to get out of bed.

“Slower,” Eddie drawled, the corner of his mouth twitching up. “Wouldn’t want you to faceplant before you even make it to the kitchen.”

Buck narrowed his eyes at the screen. “You’re hilarious.”

“Not trying to be funny. Just stating facts,” Eddie shot back, leaning against his counter on the other end of the call. “Now quit whining and move.”

Buck muttered something under his breath, but he made it to the kitchen, fumbling a glass from the cabinet. He filled the glass from the tap, and lifted it toward the camera like a toast. “Happy?”

“Drink it.”

“You’re bossy when I’m hungover,” Buck grumbled, taking a long swallow.

“I’m bossy all the time,” Eddie corrected smoothly, eyes glinting. “You just usually like it.”

Buck choked on the water, sputtering. “Oh my god.”

Eddie grinned, smug as ever. “Careful, Buck. Hydrate, don’t drown.”

Buck let out a weak laugh. “Don’t..don’t make me laugh. I think I pulled something.”

Eddie’s smirk slipped just a fraction, his eyes narrowing as he leaned closer to the camera. His tone was sharp for a beat, medic instincts kicking in, before softening again. “Like, real pain or just ‘I partied too hard and my body hates me’ pain?”

Buck tilted his head back, groaning. “Second one…probably. Pretty sure it’s just a pulled muscle or something…”

He cut himself off mid-sentence, his hand running absently over his t-shirt clad chest. His brow furrowed as his fingers brushed against something that didn’t feel quite right. Not sore exactly…just strange. Like his skin had been shrink-wrapped.

“What the hell…” he muttered under his breath, pulling the neckline of his t-shirt away to look.

On the other end of the screen, Eddie caught the shift in his expression immediately. The easy amusement slipped into curiosity. “Buck?” His voice was sharp with interest, though not alarmed. “What’s wrong?”

Buck glanced back at the phone, face twisted in confusion. “It’s…it feels weird. Like…” He rubbed again, frowning. “…like plastic or something.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow, “What the hell happened after I stopped answering last night?”

Buck shot him a glare, still distracted as he tugged his shirt farther down.

Eddie leaned closer to his own screen, studying Buck like he could solve the mystery through pixels. His eyes narrowed. “Okay. Take the shirt off. Show me.”

Buck froze, then his mouth curved into a crooked grin despite the hangover. “You know, there are easier ways to get me naked than faking medical concern over FaceTime.”

Eddie’s brow arched, unimpressed, though the corner of his mouth twitched like he was fighting a smile. “Buck.” His voice was low, warning. “Shirt. Off.”

Buck dragged a hand through his wild hair, still grinning. “God, you didn’t even buy me dinner first.”

“We’re married, Buck. The whole buy you dinner first rule doesn’t apply anymore.” Eddie’s brow arched. “Now quit stalling and take the damn shirt off.”

Buck heaved a theatrical sigh, setting the phone down on the counter so Eddie had a full view. With as much ceremony as he could muster, he peeled his shirt over his head, leaving him bare-chested in the middle of his kitchen.

“Happy now?” he asked, spreading his arms wide, a crooked grin tugging at his mouth.

Eddie leaned back in his chair, eyes narrowing at the screen, taking in the view like he was conducting a serious inspection.

Buck rolled his eyes, but there was a faint pink creeping up his neck under Eddie’s scrutiny. “You know, you’re staring an awful lot for a guy who said this wasn’t about getting me naked.”

Eddie ignored him, his gaze locking on the shiny stretch of plastic wrap pressed against Buck’s ribs. For a second, his expression flickered through confusion…then realization dawned, sharp and inevitable. His lips twitched.
“Jesus Christ, Buck,” he muttered, scrubbing a hand over his face. “Is that a new tattoo?”

Buck glanced down, brows pulling together. “What?” He froze, finally catching sight of the taped-down wrap glinting against his skin. His eyes went wide. “…Oh, shit.”

Eddie’s laugh burst out, warm and incredulous, filling the kitchen through the phone speaker. “You went out for a few drinks and came home with a tattoo? You’re a walking military cliche.”

Buck groaned, running a hand through his hair.

Eddie leaned closer to the screen, eyes narrowed with a mix of suspicion and curiosity. “Alright, Buck. Take the wrap off. Let’s see what you did.”

With a long, dramatic sigh, Buck peeled the plastic off his ribs. A faint sticky residue clung to his skin, so he shuffled to the sink, running warm water and gently lathering it with soap as Eddie continued to watch, eyebrows arched and smirk barely restrained.

“Careful,” Eddie said, voice teasing. “Don’t scrub off your dignity while you’re at it.”

Buck shot him a glare over his shoulder, but there was a faint smile tugging at his lips. “You’re lucky I like you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Eddie said, his tone softening just slightly. “Now come back to the camera.”

Buck returned, standing a little straighter, chest still glistening from the quick rinse. Eddie’s eyes widened, and for the first time in their banter, his laugh was half disbelief, half warmth.

“Well, I’ll be damned,” Eddie muttered, shaking his head. “You got yourself a new tattoo.”

Buck ran a carefully around it, still in mild awe himself. “It’s…a D,” he said quietly. “For Diaz…I guess? Drunk me seems to be sentimental.” And then his tone changed, a teasing lilt to his voice. “Pretty sure my sister told me never to get a girl’s name tattooed on me…do you think it’s okay because you’re a boy?”

Eddie’s laugh was full, making Buck wince slightly from the volume of it.

“Only you could blackout and come out of it with something meaningful instead of completely regrettable.” Eddie’s smile softened, and the teasing dropped just enough that his voice dripped with pure affection. “Seems like even drunk you knows it’s dumb that you still use Buckley when you know in your heart you’re a Diaz.”

Buck’s gaze dropped to the tattoo, voice low, almost hesitant. “I don’t… I don’t exactly look like a Diaz, you know? People would notice, ask questions…”

Eddie leaned closer to the screen, eyes warm and gentle, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Buck… the only person who really needs to know that you’re a Diaz is me and you. And I think that’s enough. Besides…I kinda like that I’m branded on your body now…kinda hot.”

Buck noticed the glint in his eye and couldn’t help the flush that colored his skin pink. “Oh my God…Did we just stumble into a ‘thing’ for you?”

Eddie smirked, tilting his head like he was considering it. “I think I need more data. You’ll just have to fly to El Paso so I can test the theory properly.”

Buck laughed, the sound still a little ragged from his hangover. “As much as I’d love to make your dreams of a cross-country booty call come true, I do actually have to work tomorrow.”

“Tragic,” Eddie sighed, all mock drama, though his eyes lingered soft and warm on the screen. “Fine. But keep drinking water, Buck. I’ll check in on you later.”

Buck lifted his glass again in a halfhearted toast. “Yes, sir. Hydration or death.”

Eddie chuckled, shaking his head. “Get some rest, carino.”

The call ended, leaving Buck standing alone in his kitchen, shirt abandoned on the counter, water glass still in hand. His ribs ached faintly where the new tattoo sat, but his chest felt warm for a different reason entirely as he stared at the darkened phone screen, the reflection of his own stupid grin staring back at him.

Chapter Text

The exam room smelled faintly of antiseptic and crayons. Christopher was in his lap, desperately trying to extricate himself from Buck’s arms. Buck tried for calm, tried to seem like tackling this without Eddie wasn’t new for him, but his knee bounced too fast to be convincing.

The doctor was kind but clinical, her voice practiced as she gestured toward Christopher’s chart and the x-rays pulled up on the screen.
“With the spasticity in his legs, especially his hamstrings, we’re seeing more tightness than we’d like at this stage. The concern is that if we wait, it could impact his walking long-term. A tendon lengthening would relieve some of that tightness, give him more mobility, and help with pain down the line.”

Buck nodded like he was absorbing it all, but his brain buzzed too loud to catch more than fragments. Surgery. Anesthesia. Recovery. He glanced at Christopher, who was still so little. He wasn’t the tiny baby he had been when he and Eddie first started dating, but he was still too small for this. How did you make a toddler understand that the pain you were inflicting on them was for their benefit?

“Okay,” Buck managed, his voice even, though his palms were damp. “So…what does that mean for him right now?”

The doctor ran through options…physical therapy alone (not enough), Botox injections (temporary), surgery (the recommendation). Her tone was gentle, but Buck heard the weight in it. He had to decide.

Except it wasn’t just his decision.

By the time he got Christopher home, Buck’s head ached with the effort of holding himself together. He settled Christopher with a snack and a cartoon, then slipped onto the balcony of his small Virginia apartment, phone in hand, the sun glaring overhead.

His thumb hovered over the keys, trying to figure out what to send. What words could he say that wouldn’t worry Eddie, but would instill the urgency he needed? Finally, before he could second-guess it, his thumb moved.

Call when you get a second.

It felt like no time had passed before the phone vibrated in his palm, screen lighting up with Eddie’s name. Buck answered, bringing the phone to his ear. “Hey.”

Eddie’s voice was warm but lined with exhaustion. “Hey. You two okay?”

Buck swallowed, pressing his palm hard against his thigh to keep steady. “Yeah, we’re okay. But…we had Christopher’s appointment today. And…Eddie…the doctor thinks he needs surgery.”

There was silence on the line, sharp enough that Buck almost filled it with nervous rambling. Then Eddie breathed out, a low, pained sound. “Surgery? Is she sure? He’s…he’s so little. I didn’t think…God…I should be there.”

“Hey.” Buck cut in quickly, even as his own chest tightened. “You can’t. You’re out there doing your job, and Christopher’s here, and I’ve got him. I can handle this.”

Eddie’s voice rose, cracked with guilt. “It’s his first surgery, Buck.”

Buck pressed his eyes shut. God, he wanted to admit he was terrified too, that his heart hadn’t stopped racing since the doctor said the word surgery. But he couldn’t. Not to Eddie. “I know,” he said softly. “But he’s got me. I’ll be with him the whole time. You can call, you can talk to him before, after, whatever you need. But you don’t have to worry about him being alone. He won’t be.”

There was a pause on the line, Eddie’s breathing uneven. Finally, he muttered, “You make it sound so easy.”

Buck huffed out a laugh that didn’t quite reach his stomach. “It’s not. But…we’ll figure it out.”

Buck went through the options with Eddie, pacing the balcony with the phone pressed tight to his ear. They talked through every risk, every outcome until it circled back to the only answer that made sense. If this gave Christopher a better chance…if it made walking easier, took away some of the pain, then they had to do it.

And that’s how Buck found himself carrying his sleepy toddler into the hospital at 5 a.m. a few weeks later.

Christopher was not impressed. He’d been dragged out of bed in the dark, buckled into his car seat without breakfast, and now he’d taken to letting out little whines of protest against Buck’s chest as Buck shifted him higher
.
“I know, buddy,” Buck whispered, pressing a kiss to his curls. “I’m sorry. The doctors said no food before surgery, remember? But I promise, the second you wake up, I’ll have pancakes waiting.”

Christopher mumbled something cranky into Buck’s collar and clutched tighter at Buck’s shirt. Buck swallowed past the lump in his throat, tightening his own grip. The automatic doors hissed open, and the hospital swallowed them in sterile light. A nurse at the front desk smiled warmly.

“Good morning, who do we have here?” she asked.

“Uh…Christopher…Diaz. He’s here for…surgery.” He stumbled over the word. “I’m Evan…Diaz. His dad.”

One of them…the thought flashed briefly, but he didn’t say it. There was no reason to make things complicated. Not when Eddie wasn’t here.

The nurse didn’t blink. She just tapped a few keys and beckoned them forward. “Alright. We’ll get you both settled.”

They were led through hushed hallways until they reached a small pre-op room painted in soft blues, meant to look less intimidating than it really was. A narrow bed sat in the middle, sheets crisp and white.

“Here we are.” The nurse turned, still cheerful. “Why don’t you set him down? We’ll get him into a gown, then the anesthesiologist will come talk with you before surgery.”

Buck hesitated, holding Christopher tighter. The thought of laying him down, of letting anyone else touch him, made his chest clench. But Christopher was starting to stir, rubbing at his eyes, and Buck forced himself to nod.

“Okay, buddy. New pajamas.” He crouched by the bed and gently coaxed Christopher down, keeping his hand on his back while the nurse produced a tiny gown dotted with cartoon rockets.

As she explained the next steps…IV placement, anesthesia, the timeline of the surgery…Buck nodded like he was absorbing every detail. But inside, his stomach twisted itself into knots. He kept looking at Christopher, so small against those too-white sheets, and thought of Eddie thousands of miles away, probably counting the same hours with no one to hold him steady.

When the nurse stepped out to grab supplies, Buck leaned over the bed, brushing his fingers across Christopher’s curls. “Hey, you’re being so brave. You know that? I’m right here, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

Christopher blinked at him, heavy-lidded, and reached out, tiny fingers locking on to Buck’s sleeve. Buck’s throat went tight.

The anesthesiologist came and went, friendly enough, explaining the medicine, the mask, how quickly it would work. Buck nodded at the right times, even asked a question or two, but none of it really stuck. His attention was on Christopher…on the way his small hands kept playing with the rocket gown, on the way his sleepy eyes kept flicking up to make sure Buck was still there.

And then the nurse came back with the transport team.

“Alright, Dad,” she said gently…and she didn’t even pause like it was a question, he was still getting used to that…“it’s time to get him back.”

He stood quickly, brushing at Christopher’s hair, like maybe stalling for a few seconds would change the whole plan. “Hey, buddy. They’re just gonna take you for a little nap, okay? I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

Christopher frowned, lower lip jutting, and shook his head. His tiny little voice was as fierce as he could make it. “No.”

“I know.” Buck’s voice cracked, but he forced a smile. “I don’t wanna let you go either. But this is gonna help your legs. Remember?”

Christopher’s little brow furrowed, and his eyes welled with tears. He reached out with both hands, and Buck bent over the bed, scooping him into one last tight hug. He pressed his face into Christopher’s curls and breathed in. When he finally laid him back down, the nurse slid the bed rails up with a soft click.

And then they started to wheel him out.
Buck walked alongside until they reached the double doors marked “Surgical Unit.” The nurse stopped him there with a practiced, sympathetic smile. “We’ll take good care of him. I promise.”

Buck nodded, throat too tight to answer. He bent down, pressed a kiss to Christopher’s forehead, and whispered, “I love you, buddy. I’ll see you soon.”

And then the doors swung shut, swallowing him whole.

Buck stood frozen in the hallway, his hands empty, the silence pressing in. His heart hammered like he’d finished a mission, adrenaline buzzing with nowhere to go. For a wild second, he wanted to storm through those doors, scoop Chris back up, and say never mind.

Instead, he braced one hand on the wall and dragged in a shaky breath. Eddie should be here, he thought. Eddie should be the one kissing his son goodbye, the one pacing this hallway. But he wasn’t. And that meant Buck had to hold it together.

So he straightened, scrubbed at his face with both hands, and forced himself into the waiting room.

The waiting room was too bright, too quiet, and too full of other people trying not to fall apart.

Buck sat in a stiff chair with his elbows braced on his knees, hands laced so tightly his knuckles ached. He stared at the scuffed tile floor like if he just concentrated hard enough, he could will time to move faster. But it didn’t. The clock on the wall ticked so loudly he swore it was mocking him.

His phone vibrated and he lunged for it, but it was just Adriana checking on Christopher. Buck stared at the words, throat tight. He typed back, Surgery just started. I’m here.

The minutes dragged, stretching into an hour. Two. Nurses came and went through the doors. No one came for him. His leg bounced so hard the chair rattled. At one point, he pressed his palms flat to his thighs, whispering under his breath, “C’mon, buddy. You’re okay. You’re tough. You’ve got this.”

And then finally…a voice.

“Family of Christopher Diaz?”

Buck’s head snapped up. The surgeon stood in the doorway, mask pulled down, surgical cap in hand.

“Everything went smoothly,” she said, calm, practiced. “He’s in recovery now. You can come back in a few minutes.”

Buck sagged, every nerve in his body loosening at once. He nodded quickly, words caught behind the sudden sting in his eyes.

When they finally led him to recovery, he almost wasn’t ready. The room was dim, machines humming softly, and in the middle of it all was Christopher.

He looked impossibly small, swallowed up by the bed, wires taped to his chest, oxygen tubing curled beneath his nose. His legs were wrapped, bandaged where the incisions had been made. His cheeks were pale, and when his eyes blinked open, they were glassy with confusion.

“Dada?” The word was soft, slurred from anesthesia.

Buck’s heart cracked wide open. He was at the bedside in an instant, lowering himself into the chair and reaching for Christopher’s hand. “Hey, buddy. I’m right here. You did it. You were so, so brave.”

Christopher whimpered, his lip trembling.

“It’s done now, okay? The worst part’s over. And I’ve got you. You’re safe.”

Christopher blinked, tears spilling down his cheeks, but his fingers curled tight around Buck’s.

Buck leaned closer, pressing his forehead to the back of Christopher’s hand. Relief and grief tangled so tightly in his chest he could hardly breathe. He wanted to call Eddie, to put the phone in front of Christopher so Eddie could see he made it through. But right now, all he could do was hold on.

All he could do was be what Christopher needed until Eddie could come back.

Chapter Text

The bathroom was warm and damp, steam curling from the tub as Christopher splashed, delighted by the way the water slipped through his little fingers. Eddie kept one hand steady on his son’s back, not quite trusting the special bath chair to keep him upright, the other gently working the washcloth over soft skin. Christopher squealed when he caught sight of a rubber duck, grabbing it in a tiny fist and bringing it to his mouth with a gurgling laugh.

Eddie’s lips curved despite the heaviness weighing down his chest. The ache of missing Buck was sharper tonight, after that last call. Eddie still heard Buck’s voice in his head…casual, almost flippant as he’d described disarming a suicide bomber like it was nothing. Eddie’s pulse still jumped when he thought about it. Their relationship was barely in its infancy, a month of bliss and beginning, then a couple more weeks of phone calls and FaceTimes before he was back in the desert. Back to danger and loneliness and sand.

His phone buzzed against the counter. Eddie ignored it at first, focused on rinsing the suds from Christopher’s hair. Bath time was sacred, a quiet routine that grounded both of them. But the sound came again, insistent, like someone had called again immediately.

Frowning, Eddie reached over with a damp hand, pulling the phone closer. His chest went cold the second he saw the number. Not Buck. Not his sister or Abuela. Not anyone he knew. A long string of digits, official, impersonal…military.

His stomach dropped.

He’d seen numbers like that before…when it was him in the uniform.

Christopher splashed again, squealing, the sound at odds with the icy terror wrapping around Eddie’s ribs. He finally swiped, lifting the phone to his ear with a grip that felt more like a vice. 

“Hello?” The word came out rough, strangled. His other hand stayed firm on Christopher’s back, grounding himself in the weight and warmth of his son.

“Staff Sergeant Díaz?”

The voice on the other end was clipped, official, and it made Eddie’s stomach lurch all over again. His grip on the phone tightened. 

“Yeah. This is Díaz.”

“This is Petty Officer Hammond with the United States Navy. I’m calling regarding Petty Officer Buckley.”

Eddie’s chest constricted so sharply he thought for a second he might not get air in at all. He forced himself to stay upright, to keep his voice steady, even as his free hand pressed harder against Christopher’s back, trying to keep everything steady. “What happened?”

There was the faint shuffle of papers, a kind of detached pause. “Petty Officer Buckley was injured in the field earlier today. He sustained trauma to the chest and suffered a collapsed lung. He was stabilized on-site and has been evacuated to the nearest military hospital for further treatment.”

Collapsed lung. The words hit Eddie like a blow. He knew what that meant…pain, struggling for air, the terrifying edge of what could have been. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to hold onto the important part: stabilized. He’s alive.

”Once he’s stable enough for longer travel, arrangements will be made to bring him stateside.”

Eddie let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, his shoulders slumping forward. Christopher splashed behind him, babbling

The officer’s voice carried on, even, detached. “You were listed as an emergency point of contact. We’ll update you as soon as there are changes to his condition or location. Do you have any questions, Staff Sergeant?”

Eddie scrubbed a hand down his face, wet with bathwater. His mind was a swirl of panic and relief, fear and fierce gratitude. Buck was hurt, badly, but he was alive. “When arrangements are made to bring him stateside, can we route him to Texas?” Eddie rasped. Then, softer, almost to himself: “El Paso specifically?”

“Uh…I can make a note, but more than likely it’ll have to come from him.”

“Yeah. Yeah…okay.” Eddie sighed. “Thanks.”

When the call ended, the silence roared in his ears. He lowered the phone back onto the counter with a shaking hand, then leaned forward, elbows braced on the edge of the tub, staring at the little boy giggling in front of him, completely oblivious to the turmoil currently swirling in his father’s chest.

Over the next week, days blurred together, measured not in hours but in feedings, naps, diaper changes. Eddie kept himself moving, because if he stopped, the silence pressed in too close. At night, when Christopher finally went down, he’d sit in the living room with the baby monitor glowing on the end table and Buck’s name pulled up on his phone, staring at the screen like sheer will might make it ring again.

Hammond’s words looped in his head…collapsed lung, stabilized, full recovery…a lifeline he repeated under his breath when fear threatened to drown him. But knowing the words and believing them were two different things. He’d been a medic. He’d heard those assurances before, given them even, the ones meant to soften a blow. He knew too well how fast things could turn.

By the time the call came that Buck was stateside, Eddie felt wrung out, strung so tight he thought one more day might snap him in half. Relief hit like a fist to the chest, sharp and staggering. Still, the fear didn’t really let go, and he knew it wouldn’t…not until he could see Buck with his own eyes, touch him, breathe him in, and know he was still here.

The airport was crowded, buzzing with travelers dragging suitcases and families reuniting at the gate. Eddie’s hands curled tight around the steering wheel as he idled at the curb, eyes scanning every face that emerged from the sliding doors. His heart hammered so hard he almost missed him at first.

Buck.

Even at a distance, Eddie could see the difference. His posture wasn’t as straight, his movements slower, one arm pressed a little too protectively against his side. His skin was pale, shadows carved beneath his eyes made Eddie’s gut twist all over again. But then Buck spotted him, and his whole face transformed, blooming into that radiant grin that had wrecked Eddie from the very start. Sunshine. Even like this…especially like this…it knocked the air out of him.

Eddie shoved the truck into park and got out, meeting Buck halfway. The urge to grab him, to wrap him up and never let go, nearly bowled him over. But the people milling around forced restraint, left him settling for slipping the duffel off Buck’s shoulder and steadying him with a firm hand on his arm.

“Hey,” Buck said, voice raspy but warm, as if they hadn’t just spent weeks worlds apart.

“Hey yourself.” Eddie’s throat felt thick, every word tight with the weight of all he wasn’t saying. “Let’s get you out of here.”

He guided Buck to the truck, careful of every step, of the way Buck leaned just a little into him even while pretending he didn’t need to. Getting him settled in the passenger seat felt like finally being able to breathe. Eddie shut the door, rounded the front, and climbed in on his side.

For a moment, neither of them moved. The noise of the airport faded, replaced by the quiet of their own little world. Buck turned his head, smile softer now, tired but still shining.

Eddie reached across the console without hesitation, finding Buck’s hand and curling their fingers together, grounding himself in the solid, living warmth of him.

Buck’s thumb brushed along the side of Eddie’s hand, slow and careful, and for a second Eddie thought he might break all over again right there in the parking lot, but then Buck tilted his head.

“Where’s my boy?” he asked, voice softer than before.

Eddie huffed out a breath, part laugh, part ache. “At my sister’s. Just for tonight.”

Buck frowned, the lines around his eyes deepening. “Why? I wanted to see him. First thing.”

“You will.” Eddie’s voice gentled, low and steady. He squeezed Buck’s hand once, firm. “But I figured…we needed a minute. Just us. Before everything else.”

Buck blinked, that sunshine smile dimming but not disappearing, like clouds passing over. He leaned his head back against the seat, studying Eddie with those too-bright, too-blue eyes that seemed to see more than Eddie wanted to admit. “Yeah,” Buck said finally, quiet. “Yeah, okay. Just us first.”

The engine rumbled softly as Eddie pulled away from the curb, the weight of Buck’s hand still pressed into his own. The silence in the truck stretched, filled only by the low hum of the road and the occasional shuffle as Buck shifted to ease the pull on his chest. Eddie kept his eyes on the freeway, jaw tight, pulse thundering. He couldn’t stop cataloging everything: the paleness of Buck’s skin, the shallow rise and fall of his chest, the way his smile had faltered just a little too quickly.

He’d thought he understood before.

Deployment was danger. Deployment was risk. He knew that as well as anyone. But this…being on the other side, the one left waiting, watching Buck come home broken…hit harder than anything he’d faced in uniform. And God, it terrified him.

Eddie’s grip on the wheel tightened until his knuckles ached. He went quiet, curling in on himself, thoughts spiraling darker with every mile.

Beside him, Buck shifted, his shoulders hunching like he wanted to make himself smaller. His voice broke the silence, soft, tentative.

“Are…are we gonna fight about this? About me being reckless again?”

Eddie’s head snapped toward him, startled. “What? No.”

Buck’s brow furrowed, uncertainty etched into every line of his face. “But you’re being all quiet and weird.”

Eddie exhaled, long and shaky, the words caught behind his teeth until he finally forced them out. “I’m not mad, Buck. I’m…” His voice cracked, and he shook his head, eyes fixed hard on the road. “I’m scared out of my damn mind. I’ve been the one bleeding out before, I’ve been the medic trying to keep someone breathing…but being on the other side of it? Waiting…not knowing if the call coming in means you’re gone? That’s worse than anything I’ve ever done in uniform. I guess…I guess seeing it with my own eyes…” 

His eyes scanned Buck purposefully, and the cab fell into silence again, not sharp or heavy this time, but fragile, trembling with everything Eddie couldn’t quite say out loud.

For a moment Buck didn’t breathe. Something in his chest shifted, sharp and sudden, like the last piece of a puzzle falling into place. He’d thought he knew what it meant for Eddie…for anyone…to wait at home. The worry, the calls that didn’t come, the headlines. But seeing Eddie like this, shoulders tight, voice breaking, clinging to his hand like it was the only thing keeping him upright…Buck finally understood.
It wasn’t abstract. It wasn’t just nerves or bad dreams. It was fear that hollowed a man out.

Buck swallowed hard, his throat thick. “Eddie…” His voice came out hoarse, and he tightened his grip on Eddie’s hand, desperate to anchor him back the way Eddie always anchored him. “I didn’t…I didn’t think about what it would be like for you. Waiting. Not really. I just…figured you knew what it was.”

“I thought I did,” Eddie admitted, his voice quiet but unsteady. His jaw clenched as he stared at the road, eyes glassy. “But it’s different, Buck. Being the one gone…that was easy. You don’t see the aftermath. You don’t see what it does to the people waiting. Sitting here…wondering if that call is the call…” He shook his head, breath ragged. “I get it now. And I hate it.”

Buck’s chest ached, a twist of guilt and love so fierce it made his eyes sting. He shifted closer in the seat, ignoring the pull in his ribs, and let his thumb trace slow circles against Eddie’s skin.

“I’m here,” he whispered, steady even though his voice trembled. “I’m here, Eddie. I promise I’ll be more careful. Not just for me…for you….for Christopher.”

Eddie risked a glance at him, brief but steady, and something inside him uncoiled, the tight knot of fear loosening for the first time since that call.

They got five days together before Buck was required to report back to Virginia. Five days that Eddie guarded like treasure, every second counted and held close. He hovered more than Buck liked…making sure he took his meds on time, checking the way he breathed, insisting he rest when Buck swore he was fine. But Buck let him, mostly, with that crooked grin that said he understood it wasn’t about doubt in his strength…it was about love.

Christopher never left Buck’s side. They spent mornings reading books and playing, afternoons napping on the couch together…Christopher curled up on Buck’s chest or tucked against his side, and nights watching cartoons, curled on the couch as a family.

They cooked dinner together, Eddie doing most of the heavy lifting while Buck chopped vegetables at half speed, grousing good-naturedly about being benched. At night, when Christopher was asleep and the house was quiet, Eddie slid into bed beside him, careful of the healing bruises. Buck turned into him without hesitation, tucking his face against Eddie’s chest like it was the only place he wanted to be. Eddie wrapped an arm around him, holding on as the steady rhythm of Buck’s breathing lulled them both toward sleep.

The days passed too quickly, slipping through Eddie’s fingers even as he tried to hold them tighter. And when the morning came for Buck to leave again, the ache of it nearly buckled him. But when Buck smiled at him…soft, steady, that same sunshine even through the shadows…Eddie believed he could survive it.

The first deployment had been the hardest, but together they figured out how to weather it…how to bend without breaking, how to hold on tighter in the spaces between.