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Merriell Shelton likes to daydream, he likes to imagine situations that have a 0.001% chance of ever happening.
He mostly dreams about Eugene Sledge, Eugene with his fiery red hair and green eyes, his pale skin and all his freckles.
Merriell also likes to daydream because he has full control of the situation in his fantasies; He can put himself out there and be vulnerable, there’s no chance of getting rejected, no chance of getting hurt.
But outside of his head he's Snafu, Situation Normal: All Fooled Up, Snafu is bad shit crazy; He’s not the kind of boy Eugene would want to take home and introduce to his parents.
In the beginning of their acquaintance Merriell really did try to make his fancy known to Eugene, but he doesn’t know the right words to describe what he’s feeling; he always ends up staring blankly at Eugene, making the latter uncomfortable and red in the face.
Merriell is just not good with people or feelings, so he’ll just stick with his daydreaming and safely admire Eugene from afar.
When Merriell sits in class, a boring one that is, he’ll dream up clichés right out of romantic movies.
(Not that Merriell knows anything about romantic movies of course, it’s not like he watches chick flicks in his free time.)
It’ll look like he’s paying attention to whatever the teacher is saying but, in his head, he’s slow dancing with Eugene underneath the Eiffel tower while rose petals are falling from the sky, a perfect scenario.
And when Eugene is sitting in front of him in a class, oblivious of Merriell’s thousand yard stare drilling in the back of his head, he dreams about tracing the lines of Eugene’s neck and shoulder with a ghosting touch of his fingers, dreams about prepping Eugene’s face and whole body with butterfly kisses.
It’s making his whole body tingle just thinking about it.
When Merriell is sitting in the bus, feeling sleepy and content, he likes to daydream about laying in a meadow with Eugene; it’s a psychedelic scene, the sun is shining , it’s pleasantly warm and he can hear the birds singing; Eugene’s head will rests on Merriell’s thigh and he’s feeling peaceful, happy even.
Merriell will whisper things to Eugene, things he would normally never tell anyone, about his old home in New Orleans about his mother and father, even stupid stuff like his favorite food, color and words.
Sometimes Merriell will prop himself up on his elbows so he can count the freckles on Eugene’s nose and maybe tenderly pull his fingers through Eugene’s soft looking hair.
And, when he’s feeling bold, he will imagine Eugene shirtless and he’ll trace the freckles on Eugene’s pale shoulders with his lips and tongue even with his teeth, making him shiver with anticipation.
Sometimes, when Merriell is alone, he likes to imagine Eugene next to him, there are no words or meaningful touches , their just existing, side by side.
It makes Merriell cold take-out a little bit more bearable and a little bit less lonely.
Sometimes Merriell doesn’t have to come up with completely imaginary situations, sometimes he replays every interaction he’s ever had with Eugene over in his mind.
This one time, when Merriell asked Eugene about the book he was reading, Eugene visibly perked up and started a lengthy, somewhat boring, narrative about the book he was reading.
To be honest, Merriell can’t even remember what Eugene's book was about, he can’t even remember the name; because, while talking, Eugene had laid his hand on Merriell’s bare lower arm, making it hard for Merriell to concentrate on anything other than the pleasant pressure of Eugene’s hand.
And, when Merriell thinks about it later, he swear he can still feel his lower arm tingle on the place where Eugene’s hand had made contact with his skin.
When Merriell lays in bed, late at night, there’s still no peace in his mind; he cannot stop thinking about Eugene.
And, more times than not, there are lewd thoughts and filthy images torturing his restless mind, making his lower belly ache with desire, making his whole body yearn for Eugene’s touch, and all Merriell wants to do is to rub himself against a gasping Eugene, rutting Eugene into his mattress until he’s seeing stars.
those kind of dreams make Merriell a sticky and panting mess, it also makes Merriell feeling empty and more alone than ever.
~
Somewhere, along the way, Eugene picked up on Snafu’s silent adoration, noticing the way Snafu would look at him with unseeing eyes, intense and unwavering.
In the beginning it made Eugene slightly uncomfortable, not used to being on the receiving end of adoration.
It gives him an unfamiliar, but not entirely unpleasant, tight feeling in his stomach.
But Snafu never made a move on Eugene; which bewildered Eugene, he was trying really hard to show Snafu that the feeling was mutual, that if Snafu wanted to take his hand, he could, and if Snafu felt the desire to kiss Eugene, that Eugene wouldn’t pull back.
Eugene rather liked the thought of Snafu kissing him.
He tried his best to smile his nicest smile every time he caught snafu staring at him, he even started subtly touching Snafu every time he had the change.
But Snafu didn’t seem to notice any of it, being too caught up in his own head.
~
Even though Merriell did noticed the increase of touches, burning his skin again and again, And even though he did noticed Eugene smiling at him every time he was caught staring at him.
He still blames it on the fact that he is too invested in his own daydreams, Imagining things that are simply not there.
So, one day, when Eugene finally takes Merriell's hand in his own and runs his thumb lightly over Merriell’s knuckles, he thinks he’s dreaming.
But, as he looks out of the corner of his eye, he sees the blush on Eugene’s cheeks and his shy smile on his lips, and he squeezes Eugene’s hand tight.
It's better than anything Merriell’s own imagination could ever come up with.