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“Nico, this is important!”
“This is literally the dumbest conversation I’ve ever had.”
“Literally or figuratively?”
Nico met the gaze of his father sitting opposite him at the long obsidian table, glaring disapprovingly. Not just because Nico was on an Iris message with Percy Jackson (always a point of contention), but because their conversation was interrupting the meeting. A very important battle strategy meeting about the recent spike in activity in Tartarus and a dangerous spirit who might be intent on breaking out and causing havoc in the mortal world. George Washington, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Winston Churchill, and Athena were also staring at him disapprovingly.
“Take your pick,” Nico said.
“That’s what I’m saying! You have to pick one!”
Nico breathed out a heavy sigh and circled back to the ridiculous question Percy had jump-scared him with. Cake or pie? Honestly, he liked both, but for different occasions. He needed context, but he was already pushing his father’s patience and he might be a corpse by the end of this meeting if he prolonged the call.
“Pie,” he said because whatever Percy was playing at, he couldn’t go wrong with fruit and pastry. Unless he was the one baking it.
“Okay, what flavor?”
“What for?” Nico snapped. Churchill was starting to mutter under his breath and Nico distinctly caught the word “whippersnapper.” Irritation prickled through him because the old geezers at the table were mad at him, even though they knew that he hadn’t sent the Iris message and this wasn’t his fault.
“Just tell me what your favorite flavor of pie is,” Percy said.
“Key lime,” Nico said, which wasn’t untrue, but was also just the first flavor to pop into his head.
“Cool, thanks.” With that, Percy waved his hand through the Iris message and he was gone.
Nico and the rest of the room took a full minute to stare at the spot where Percy’s face had been until Hades cleared his throat loudly.
“Getting back to the matter at hand, Lady Athena I believe you had a suggestion on how best to fortify the entryway to Tartarus?”
“We will need to fortify both entrances,” she said easily as if nothing had happened, though her eyes were still on Nico. He couldn’t read her expression at all. “We don’t want to repeat history.”
Churchill slammed a fist on the table. “Precisely why we need to attack the German army relentlessly, until they have no chance but to surrender…”
Nico sank into his seat, tuning out Eisenhower telling the prime minister for the hundredth time that the war was over while the gods questioned why they even let mortals into this meeting in the first place. He would have shadow-traveled away if it didn’t mean the headache of dealing with his father’s temper later. When he wanted to talk, Hades was not above sending furies to track Nico down. All he could do was sit here and wait for the meeting to be over.
At least he could entertain himself by coming up with increasingly ridiculous scenarios for why Percy Jackson needed to know his favorite pie.
By the end of the meeting, he’d decided that if there wasn’t some evil clone of himself that could only be defeated by the things the real Nico actually enjoyed, he was going to be disappointed.
…
A week later, Nico walked into his surprise birthday party and swore that everyone he knew was dead to him.
He hated surprises. They knew that. The compromise was that they didn’t actually jump out and yell “surprise.”
“You’re not going anywhere,” Hazel said with false sweetness as she grabbed his shoulders and halted his movements toward the exit.
He found himself at the food table, surveying an array of party snacks. Beignets Hazel had picked up from Café du Monde. A veggie tray provided by Piper. Chips and salsa courtesy of Leo, who had also taken the liberty of turning Hazel’s kitchen counter into a taco bar.
And right smack dab in the middle, the biggest key lime pie Nico had ever seen.
“I had to put him in a headlock to keep him from turning it blue,” Annabeth said coming up beside him.
Nico glanced at Percy who was on the other side of the room laughing with Jason. They hadn’t spoken much yet beyond a cursory “happy birthday.” He had no doubt that Percy mostly to blame for this whole thing. Nico also hadn’t had a chance to interrogate him about his weird Iris message, not for lack of trying. His own messages weirdly hadn’t been going through, which meant there was a good chance the goddess of the rainbow herself was in on the plan. It all made sense now though, and looking around, Nico wasn’t really mad.
“It would’ve tasted good either way,” he said to Annabeth as he helped himself to a big slice.
And it was the best dam key lime pie he’d ever had.