Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

BETTE'S POINT OF VIEW

Today I saw her...

Yes, for my luck or for my misfortune, today I saw her... and the usual thing happened (for my misfortune this time) I didn't know what to do or what to say, the truth is that I couldn't even remember my name, nothing, not even the initial with which it began... I know, it's painful, it's pathetic, it's frustrating, it's... Gosh!..... IT'S HORRIBLE!......

For God's sake! …..I am a full-fledged 40-year-old woman with a university degree, with a somewhat…how shall I say it…hectic? love past (especially these last two years)….according to some, I am not bad at all and until very recently, I was a woman with enough self-confidence to have never, ever lost the ability to speak and suffered from total and absolute lack of coordination between my lower and upper limbs to the point of having the disastrous sensation of being a gelatinous mass with legs….yes sir…

I am what they normally say, a woman of my time….yes…until I see her and then, then…. everything changes... and everything I've always boasted of being and having, courage, boldness, confidence, determination, strength, vanishes into thin air as if by magic, as if a black hole had swallowed it, leaving no trace behind... leaving me totally exposed to the world, no shields to take shelter behind, no walls to jump over, and no masks to hide my feelings behind... and all because one day, I saw her.

I don't remember if it was a scorching hot day or if, on the contrary, it was freezing cold, if the birds were singing until they were hoarse or if, as if they could somehow sense what was coming, they remained deathly silent, I don't know if the sun was shining in all its splendor or if we were rather in the middle of a solar eclipse... that's for sure... I remember each and every detail that referred to her as a person.

It can be said that the day had not started particularly well... the alarm clock on my cell phone performed with exemplary punctuality, as if it were a Swiss watch, its function of waking me up at 7:00 and with that, it also performed its no longer exemplary function of hammering my head without any compassion, luckily for it that in record time, especially considering the lamentable state I was in, I managed to blindly hit the button that silenced it once and for all, if it had taken even a hundredth of a second longer to silence it, I would have finally slammed it against the wall...

Once silence finally returned to the room, I decided to give myself some more than necessary time to assimilate this abrupt and unpleasant awakening that I myself had programmed the day before, when I still had not received the call from my closest friend and when she had not yet managed to convince me to meet that same night to help each other forget about our respective sorrows... in short, before getting drunk... yes sir, I was with a hangover of championship, my fourth hangover worthy of consideration, the first was the day of my graduation, the second when she left me and the third when everything in my life changed, that's not many let's say, but it's more than enough considering that I have never tolerated alcohol very well...

I was absorbed in these memories, my drunkenness and the reason for them, when the phone began to ring giving, once again, due account of my incessant headache, needless to say I picked up as soon as my clumsy movements allowed me... My first thought when I hung up was... What the hell did you answer for! To hear the same old thing once again! ...today, two months after that moment, I can't stop thinking that in some way it was fate who decided for me...it was fate, through that call, who decided to ruin my initial idea of ​​staying in bed all day feeling sorry for myself and my head, it was fate who pushed me to get out of bed like a soul chasing the devil, it was he who decided that I had to leave that house to be able to breathe some fresh air with which to fill my lungs and he who decided that I had to meet her...the funny thing is that I don't believe in fate.

Once I left the house, I wasn't entirely sure where to go or what to do. My overwhelming desire to forget the unpleasant conversation I'd had minutes earlier as soon as possible had barely left me time to decide what to do: whether to stick to my initial plans from the day before, the ones I'd set my alarm for—that is, go downtown and finish buying the necessary supplies to finish decorating the house—or simply take a stroll with no specific destination in mind.

I decided that, given my emotional and physical state at the time, the best thing to do was simply take a stroll. I ended up heading to a park not far from my house. That wasn't my first intention, but just a few minutes into my walk, I started to feel sick. The hangover and the conversation I'd been having were starting to take their toll on me. I stopped and looked around. I didn't really know where I was. I still didn't know the area very well, and I was a bit disoriented. I noticed a café to my right, small and, above all, seemingly cozy and quiet. To my left was the park, equally small and quiet. At that moment, there was hardly anyone there. I didn't know what to do… once again, fate decided for me… after a few minutes of deliberation, I decided to go to the café.

"Maybe if I have something to drink, I'll calm my stomach a bit." As I headed toward the café, a group of very happy and particularly chatty friends entered. "Well, whatever, it's not like I have much desire to eat or drink anything, I'm sure if I do, I'll throw up."

Finally, I headed to the park and sat down on some benches near the children's area. At that moment, there was only a little boy, I guessed, about 4 or 5 years old, who was climbing up and down everything in front of him. I spent a few minutes just gazing at him, desperately wishing to be in his place for a few brief moments, free from worries and fears... I threw my head back and closed my eyes... that's where it all began... that's where I started to forget my name.

I continued with my head thrown back and my eyes closed when suddenly, painfully unexpected, a scream pierced the air, embedding itself, like a huge, sharp awl, directly and relentlessly in my head, which at that very moment seemed to have reached some of the peace it needed.

I jerked my head up, which sent another stabbing sound through my tortured brain, swearing in languages ​​I didn't even know. I looked toward the place where the scream seemed to be coming from, the children's area, where the acrobat boy with a vocation for trapeze artist was now lying on the ground. For a moment, I didn't know how to react. Not only was I not in the best physical condition, but I was also light years away from there, from that park, and from the scene unfolding in front of me.

Under other circumstances, without that terrible hangover and that painful conversation, I would have jumped up like a flash and rushed to her aid. After all, that was my job, that's what I'd studied for years to do: to help people, or at least try to. But the truth is, I didn't react, or I certainly didn't react quickly enough.

Once I realized what was happening, I was about to get up when she appeared, just like that, as if by chance. If someone had told me I was teleported there, I would have believed them wholeheartedly. The fact is, she crouched down next to the child, and while she incessantly whispered sweet words of comfort, she meticulously and with infinite delicacy inspected him from top to bottom, looking for any injuries. Something in her gentle but determined movements made me suspect she knew what she was doing, that she wasn't someone with a tremendous willingness to help others but lacking any kind of knowledge of how to react in a situation like this...

Once she was sure the child wasn't seriously injured, except for a few scratches and the fright caused by the fall, she hugged him, took him in her arms, and headed toward the swings. Sitting on one of them, with the child on her lap, she slowly, almost imperceptibly, began to swing and sing a song, while running her fingers through the child's silky hair and placing the occasional kiss on his small head. That was precisely the moment when, for the first time in my life, I fell in love.

I've never believed in love at first sight or anything like it. Some might think I'm a bit cold, or at least unromantic, if not unromantic at all. The truth is, I've always thought I'm lucky enough to find someone special enough for that to happen with a complete stranger just by meeting a glance.

Not even with "Her" does it happen to me… (I still find it hard to say her name, not because I still love her, no, but because the memory of what I thought she was and never was still hurts… I wanted to love someone who loved me… and I only had sex with someone who never loved me, the best I'd ever had up until then, but only that, nothing more)… No, when I met her, I must admit that more than falling in love with her, the first thing I thought was that she was the big bad wolf and I was Little Red Riding Hood…

But there I was, unable to take my eyes off that stranger, who wasn't even aware of my presence there, so focused as I was on comforting the little one… I, so sure of myself about what I wanted and thought, so strong as not to show the slightest sign of weakness, at least not while there was someone who could see it, was there, wishing, dying, to take the place that child occupied, for it to be me she would hug, to whom she would whisper, caress, sing, in short, comfort me, without caring that she was a complete stranger, without being the least bit concerned that she might see me with my defenses down, just being me.

Shielding myself behind my dark sunglasses, I began to observe her even more closely, if possible. She had blonde hair, cut short above her shoulders, constantly emitting golden highlights that at times made me doubt whether she was actually blonde or light brown. I wanted with all my might to run my fingers through her hair, smell it, kiss it... You're crazy! ...I thought...it was the last coherent thought I had...Her face, or rather, its features, were extremely sweet, eyebrows not very long but perfectly defined, eyes...honey maybe?...the light of the sun...(apparently we were not in the middle of a solar eclipse)...and my dark glasses did not allow me to see it clearly, but yes, her eyes seemed the color of honey...her mouth, ummmm...her mouthyyy...full lips, sensual, enticing and above all desirable to the limit, a sin...But God, what a sin!...

She was wearing a loose, thin white hippie-style shirt that left her delicate and feminine shoulders exposed and allowed a glimpse of the outline of her exquisite clavicle. The shirt also allowed, due to its fineness, a glimpse of what were undoubtedly breasts, neither too big nor too small, simply perfect...like her entire body...she was undoubtedly somewhat shorter. That I...and she had truly beautiful hands, small, but beautiful, I would have given anything to feel the light touch of her skin on my cheek...Oh yes!...Love is in the air!

After a while of comforting him, the boy seemed to finally regain his spirit and his vocation as a trapeze artist, so once he got off her legs, he quickly and hastily approached the slide and began to climb the stairs, this time with her constant presence at his side, watching his every move. Fortunately, everything seemed to indicate that the fall had been nothing more than a scare, a real relief for my sense of guilt, plagued by not having reacted in time or having gone over to check on him. However, just getting up would have been a feat on my part... I couldn't feel my legs! They were pure jelly... so I seriously doubted that they could successfully keep me upright... All I was aware of at that moment was her presence and the constant beating of my heart... it was beating so loudly and rapidly that it almost seemed a miracle that she didn't hear it...

Watching them both going from here to there, I began to wonder what relationship they had... was it her son?... her nephew?... her neighbor's son?... desperately I began to search for some kind of sign that would give me a clue that she was not married... nothing, her hands remained elusive and hidden from my anxious eyes.

Damn it! How could I have been so stupid and not noticed that important detail... I'd been sitting there watching her... how long? 5 minutes? Two hours? A world?

I don't know... time seemed to have stopped from the moment my eyes fell on her... no matter how long I'd been standing there, the truth is, not for a single moment did I let my mind, my body, my soul, my entire being, be aware of anything other than her presence there, in that small park, analyzing each and every one of the small details that made her special and unique to me... and yet I was unable to remember if, in the exhaustive analysis I subjected her hands to, I had seen any sign that identified her as a married or engaged woman...

"God, what were you thinking?!" In her, maybe?”….. “Touche” …. I was getting desperate, not only because I was terribly aware of the total loss of each of my senses in favor of her person, but because she wouldn’t stop moving and I still couldn’t see her hands….. if the child was her son, it was clear who he looked like….. there they were, both of them jumping and skipping like two little children, one because he was and the other because she looked like one, spreading smiles left and right and falling in love with each minute a little more….. until… fate decided to show me its cruelest face.

I didn't see him coming...surely because, like her, he appeared on the scene suddenly and surprisingly...teleported, perhaps?...it doesn't matter...the only thing that is certain is that in this case his presence, besides being unexpected, was also unwanted...I was in seventh heaven and suddenly and with a bang I descended into the darkest and most sinister corner of hell itself...this time I was painfully aware of the scene that was unfolding before me, too aware I would say. He slid his hands around her waist, pulled her against him, not leaving the slightest gap between his chest and her back, and buried his head in her neck… I don't think I've ever hated anyone so much… If I could have been a God at that moment, I would have wanted to be Zeus, to strike him down with lightning bolts, one after the other, until he disappeared from my sight, and above all, to get him away from her…

Who the hell was he? Her brother? Her cousin? My heart stopped… Her boyfriend? I stopped breathing… Her husband? She pulled away from him… I started to breathe again… She took his hand… My heart stopped again… I kissed him on the cheek… Again, breathless… And I slid my small hand down his cheek… I was drowning! Suddenly, they separated… Finally, oxygen for my lungs! The little one The acrobat was demanding his share of attention... "He's my hero!"...

I was trying to get my breathing back to a more or less normal pace when I realized they were leaving... What?... How?... It couldn't be, no, not now... but yes... she was walking away without the slightest idea of ​​what she was leaving behind... maybe it was the best thing that could happen, maybe if she left and I never saw her again, I could forget about her and think it was just a dream, yes, maybe it was the best thing... it would have been if it weren't for the fact that fate is not only cruel but also capricious... I saw her again.

Chapter Text

"Leave me alone!"... "Don't touch me!"... "Go away!" ...and she did it, she left, thank God she did it before, for the first time in years, all my defenses flew into the air and I collapsed like a house of cards... It seemed like a nightmare without beginning or end... but it's not true, everything has a beginning and an end, my nightmare had them too.

Its beginning, with respect to Ella, was that day when my steps led me to the hospital director's office in an attempt to get him to clarify some points about the new protocol that had to be followed regarding certain contagious diseases, in short, a bureaucratic mess... I had been in the director's office for almost an hour... 59 minutes more than I had initially planned... It's not that I don't like my job; on the contrary, I love it. Maybe because I somehow know it's one of the few things I decided to do for my own enjoyment, not for the enjoyment of others. I do like it, but I can't stand some of the things that surround it, including the boring and exhausting bureaucracy, and with George, the director, besides being all of that, it was endless.

I had a theory that George had long since stopped being a doctor and become an expert bureaucrat. I didn't think he was good or bad about it, but I didn't share his enthusiasm for the constant paperwork. He was also a bore with no sense of humor, and the worst part was that he wasn't even aware of that shortcoming. On the contrary, he thought he was very funny... and he liked me... at the same time, he was afraid of me and my enormous mouth, which never stayed shut when something didn't seem right to me.

So there I was, sitting in that office, wishing that damn life-saving bell would ring once and for all, allowing me to escape this torment... as they say... be careful what you wish for.

The office intercom was the "life-saving bell." I didn't even hear what the secretary was saying to the director. It had been about 30 minutes since I had mentally escaped from there, from the office, from George, and from his constant, fruitless attempts to find out how my love life was going. The door opened, and George stood up to greet the newcomer. It took me a while; after all, I had to hide my haste to get out of there as quickly as possible. When I finally sat up, there she was... the big bad wolf... (I swear I even saw her licking her sharp fangs)... and there I was... I was Little Red Riding Hood... this time the story wasn't ending well for me.

If I think about it, I don't really know what attracted me to Ella. She wasn't my ideal type of woman, which is a bit odd, especially considering that back then I refused to have an ideal type of woman. She seemed incredibly determined and self-confident, and for good reason. She was...how can I put it...in short...im-press-i-ve...it's only natural that George's eyes were bulging out of his head. I could just swallow without the risk of choking on her.

We were introduced… on that occasion, despite the shock, I didn’t forget my name… she came up to me and placed two chaste but seemingly excessively long kisses on my cheeks. Once she returned to her position, she looked at me fixedly and in a deep, sensual voice she said… “Nice to meet you”… “Same to you”… at least this time the wolf, in this case the she-wolf, liked to take his time when devouring his food… I don’t know if for me this was good news or, on the contrary, the worst. As soon as I left the office, I knew with absolute certainty that I would see her and her sharp fangs again.

"Hello!"..."Do you remember me?"..... What was I saying?...ow...there was the big bad wolf...

The truth is, it was a fairly simple beginning, a chance encounter in the hospital cafeteria, a coffee, a pleasant conversation...she was always very good with words, after all, she was a sales representative for a major pharmaceutical company...and it all ended with a covert meeting between the two of us...

After that... what? Well, my world turned upside down!... why lie? The truth is, it was time to shake up the closet a bit and air it out... while I would have liked to do it for someone worthwhile, I must admit that it was thanks to Her that I managed to muster up the courage to escape from that gilded cage that was my life back then... I was finally myself in all my splendor... without corsets to constrict me, or chains to hold me back... The wolf knew how to dazzle Little Red Riding Hood... the huntress (I've always preferred to seduce than to be seduced) had been hunted...

I began to live a life full of constant contrasts and contradictions, hiding from those closest to me and openly revealing myself to strangers, unafraid to accept who I was once and for all, and terrified that those I loved most wouldn't accept me as I was. I was free to live my life as I wanted, yet bound by customs and teachings that were too deeply rooted in me... until the balance tipped to one side.

I wasn't in love with her, I thought I was then, but I wasn't, although the thought that I was helped me make my decision... I can't say it was just sex either, at least not on my part, on hers I have no idea what it was, she always knew how to keep her cards well hidden... until it became impossible for her to do so... When everything was discovered, when I really knew how and what she was... cold, lying, manipulative, selfish and... married... she just kept quiet and left me with the horrible feeling that love was shit... that was the end of my nightmare... It took a while for me to have sweet dreams again... and much later for me to read the story of Little Red Riding Hood again.

She was planted in my head... that was evident... like a stigma, like a sign... there was no doubt... she didn't settle for assaulting my heart without warning, but she also settled in my mind with total and absolute impunity, without even asking permission... invading my days with the desire to see her again and my nights with her audacity to star in even the most intimate of my dreams.

It had been almost three years since I had that first encounter with the ferocious wolf, three years in which I had managed to rise from the ashes and live the occasional adventure without ever putting my heart at risk. I could give my body and my time, but my heart was always safe, far from danger... I wasn't happy, at least not completely, but I felt safe.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

A week after that crush in the park, I was in the cafe across the street, sipping my caffeine fix, coming to terms with the idea that I'd never see her again. When the cafe door announced the entrance of a new customer, I immediately raised my head, hoping that this time it would be Alice, my best friend, who walked through the door. I was already 15 minutes late... What can I do? I'm a punctuality freak, but she, on the other hand, is addicted to lateness...

It wasn't Alice, nor was it a new customer, but two new customers, one of them being something more than someone special... Why did she have to appear when I least expected it? When I was least prepared to face her presence... Once again, I was unable to remember my name or keep my scandalous heart silent.

I didn't know whether to cry with joy at seeing her again or, on the contrary, laugh like a hysteric at the more than evident demonstration that I no longer had any control over my emotions... while I was deciding between one thing or another, I saw that they sat down at one of the tables furthest from my position, which allowed me to observe without being seen... She was really beautiful, of course, it didn't matter that the clothes she was wearing contributed even more to her beauty, because the truth is that even if she were only wearing a potato sack she would be equally beautiful...

God!... If it weren't because I'm in love, I would put my fingers in my mouth and vomit at my sentimentality... after ordering from the waiter, they began to talk very animatedly, especially her friend who didn't stop talking and gesticulating, she, on the other hand, remained attentive to what apparently was a very funny story judging by the smiles that occasionally adorned and illuminated her face... it's clear... not content with provoking me Deep bouts of amnesia and tachycardia with her unexpected appearances, she's determined to kill me with smiles... at this rate I won't live to be old!

... Enraptured as I was by the contemplation of her killer smile, a fleeting, intense, and painful image came to mind... the moment he appeared in the park... needless to say, my eyes instantly fell on his hands in search of some clue that would calm me down a little, but again I was left with no news about it. He had his hands resting on the table in such a way that the big-headed man at the table next to him couldn't see them...! Damn it...!... If I put on a circus, my brains would grow.

I began to feel seriously identified with Scully, from The X-Files, a rational, controlled and methodical woman, not very given to believing in things that didn’t have a logical and reasonable explanation and yet a deep believer in the existence of a God… yes… I was a woman like Scully, with the exception that my faith leaned towards the conviction that that woman was the woman of my life and that I, one day, would get to see if her hands wore that fateful ring…

It’s not that the fact of knowing if she was married, engaged or if she had a boyfriend was going to get her out of my head, no, I was too firmly planted in it for something like that to happen, but at least I would manage to keep my hope of having something with her alive… If I ever managed to get close to her… without crawling because my legs wouldn’t support me… and talk to her… without the typical babbling of a child who can’t speak. What was very clear was that this would not be the occasion to do it... who decided it?... let it be known that it wasn't me... My mobile phone began to ring... "Hello" ....… "I'm desperate" ..... Alice... the one who arrived almost an hour late!... her apartment had flooded when the water came out of the washing machine... she was never very good with things at home... I had to go... believe me, I know what I'm talking about... destiny is a bastard!

After that second encounter, destiny, who is a bastard, showed me its playful face. I saw her again several times... exactly five times... and each time, fate, or who knows what, decided that this wasn't the right moment... sometimes because she left and I came in, others because she stayed and I left, and more than once because something or someone got in the way...

I began to feel close to having a nervous breakdown... it was something like... you look but you don't touch... Fortunately for me, something or someone, at that point it hardly mattered whether or not it was fate that was messing with my morale, took pity on me and finally allowed me to know her name... it's a beginning, right?

Love is in the air!... yes, yes, yes, and a thousand times yes... love is in the air, in the trees that whisper, in the birds that sing, in the sea that churns wildly, and above all... It's in my life!...Tangled in my hair, reflected in my eyes, gushing from my lips, between my fingers, beneath my skin, pumping blood to every corner of my body, filling my lungs with oxygen, embedded in my soul... in short... coursing through me from top to bottom... It arrives surprisingly, unannounced, without the sound of bells ringing here and there, without asking permission... because love doesn't knock on my door, no, rather, it kicks it down... It arrives with the force of a cyclone and ruthlessly pushes aside all those intentions of mine to safeguard my heart at all costs, even at the cost of my own happiness... yes, love may suck sometimes... but today I want to breathe it through every pore of my skin... I want to die intoxicated by love!

I don't know why, but from the moment I opened my eyes that morning I couldn't get that blessed song out of my head. It was almost like a premonition of what was going to happen. I felt full of energy, despite not having slept excessively well that night. The truth is that this constant "looking but not touching" with my stranger from the park was disturbing my sleep a little... but despite everything, I felt recharged and all my senses on alert... and to prove it, I jumped out of bed with a leap that almost reached the ceiling. I made myself a succulent breakfast fit for a king... Singing like crazy, "Lovely Day!" by Bill Whiters... as I said... I was at my peak... I tidied up the house a bit to get the chaos that reigned there back to some kind of order and headed out towards the place that would soon become part of my daily life.

It was almost nightfall when I returned home. I was tired. It had been a truly exhausting day. My trip to that initial destination in the morning had taken longer than expected. It had taken me forever to get there because of the monumental traffic jam I'd been stuck in. Then, I had to wait, again, another world to be seen because an unfortunate situation had arisen that prevented the hospital director from seeing me at the initially agreed-upon time. Once I managed to get out of there, I decided to eat at the nearest restaurant. While I was eating, I thought about doing some shopping to help me put the finishing touches on my new house. The sad thing is that I also decided to call Alice... the one from the flooded apartment... she's really good at shopping.

I ended up not buying anything and leaving her at the entrance of her house loaded with bags up to her eyebrows… yes, I was exhausted… but even so, after parking my car in the first place I found, I headed to a Blockbuster… I felt like watching a movie, preferably a romantic one, very romantic… I didn't even recognize myself… but I was getting used to those moments when I would surprise myself doing things like singing certain songs at the top of my lungs in the shower;….. "I love you Baby, and if it's quite alright, I need you Baby, to warm the lonely nights...". I never liked Frankie Valli, but of course I didn't believe in love at first sight either, and there I was…. in love with a complete stranger.

I was wandering around the Blockbuster trying to decide which movie to take, the one I had in my hands at that moment or another one, when I turned the corner of one of the shelves... Oh yeah!... once again... damn, what a mania for teleportation! ... The police should give her a ticket! ... Was this the occasion? ... What do I do? ... What do you mean? ... Well, approach her and try to tell her something more or less coherent... yes, yes, yes... I approach, casually... with an unexpected stumble perhaps? ...

Oh, I'm sorry... not at all... I'm clumsy... and it's your fault... I didn't hurt you, right? ... You did hurt me... Surely? ... You've stuck yourself in my heart... That movie... Can I tell you something? ... Is it Moulin Rouge?... It's important… I love that movie... very important… it's beautiful… you are beautiful… it has sublime songs… I want to sink my fingers into your hair… an impressive color… I want to reflect myself in your eyes… at times it's funny… I want to kiss your mouth… but also very sad… I want to feel your skin next to mine…. yes, especially the ending… I want to intertwine my hands with yours…. even so… I want to take refuge in your arms… I've seen it hundreds of times… I want to be in your life… I guess it's one of my favorites… I want to be a part of you... I'm glad you like it… I want to live the rest of my life with you… there's a cafe nearby… I'm sure you've already noticed… can I buy you a coffee? … but I still want to tell you… you know… I want you to know what I feel… to make up for my clumsiness… from the moment I saw you… please… it’s incredible… I would love for you to accept… but it’s true… great!… I'm in love with you… shall we go?...

It was that simple, approach her and talk to her… but then why didn't my legs just take off and take me to her?.....

I was in the middle of that when… "Don't doubt it, better that one, "Life is beautiful", it's precious, I'm sure you'll like it"…...

God! ..... my heart is in my mouth… I wasn't ready for that yet, not like this, no, I wasn't ready to suddenly feel her eyes boring into me, feel her body almost brushing against mine, hear her sweet voice and see her radiant smile dedicated to me… how could I be if my heart was in my mouth, knocking like crazy on the doors of this place to get out of there once and for all and leave with her… She walked away without stopping smiling at me and without me stopping looking at her and what's worse, without being able to react… She spoke to the clerk for a few seconds and headed towards the door……"Wait Tina" …. "you forgot something" …..the clerk gave her that something…and now yes….she left.

And now I know, now it's clear... I'm Bette... and I'm in love with Tina. And that was the small advantage I had, knowing her name, the day we were introduced.

Chapter Text

The day I finally met her, I did so by waking up among my memories... The light of a new day began to filter through the slightly open curtains of my room. At first, it did so so timidly that it almost seemed to be apologizing for its audacity, until finally, once I had lost my initial shame, the morning light directed itself directly into my face without the slightest hint of modesty... That shameless ray of light directly into my eyes was the first indication that this day was not just another day on the calendar... no... that was the day... the day my life finally took that definitive 180-degree turn... Three years ago, a new life had begun for me, in which I lost everything I had or thought I had, and that day, once again, another new life began in which I had nothing to lose.

The light ended up definitively conquering every corner of my room... That light was shameless!... although the truth is, I should have been extremely grateful to have something to counteract those dark thoughts that were looming over me at that moment... I guess the best thing I can do is be honest with myself and admit that I was scared to death... actually... I was terrified!....... I couldn't help it; it's never easy to start from scratch...

I'd been waiting for that moment for almost six months, from the moment I decided to accept George's offer to arrange my transfer to Los Angeles... I must admit that his offer, or rather his help, to offer me a way out surprised me. For a few moments, he stopped being a hardened bureaucrat and became a friend, someone I could count on when I needed him most... sometimes you get help from the people you least expect... life gives you surprises... fortunately, some of them are very good.

The truth is that it was not easy to make the decision to leave, on the one hand given the situation it was the best thing I could do and on the other hand it was like running away and admitting that I had something to be ashamed of when I wasn’t…. I thought I was going to die when George told me the happy news that my request to work at Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles had been accepted…. I should have jumped for joy and yet all I could think about was that moment would remain in my memory as the instant when EVERYTHING went to shit….. yes, I thought I was going to die….. the same way I thought I was going to die the day I discovered the whole truth about “Her”……when I told Bobby, my childhood friend, my confidant, my almost brother….. my fiancé….. because I couldn’t marry him….. when my father took his eyes off me and turned his back on me with just one word on his lips….. “Go!” ......all those times I thought I'd die, but I guess what the Bon Jovi song says is true:

I'd die for you, I'd cry for you,
I'd do anything, I'd lie for you,
You know it's true,
Baby, I'd die for you,
I'd die for you, I'd cry for you,
If it came right down to me and you,
You know it's true,
Baby, I'd die for you...

I didn't die at all, but I left... leaving behind what I was and those who were... my life.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * 

With all those memories swirling around in my head, I got up and headed to the bathroom to take a shower, with the clear intention of letting the water wash all those painful memories down the drain... It's true that time heals everything, but it's also true that for some things, that time feels like an eternity...

Once I got out of the bathroom, I prepared to enjoy the time I had left before having to rush off to the hospital as calmly as possible... besides being terrified, I was nervous. I didn't know anyone from the hospital, well, yes, I did know someone... Tess Van de Berg... her family and mine had known each other since time immemorial. Tess was also one of my older brother Richard's closest friends, if not the best friend. They didn't see each other very often, but they still maintained a close relationship. I wasn't sure if, given the circumstances, this was good news for me or not.

The passage of time finally gave me the answer when, through her, I finally got close to Tina... well, the truth is that, except for Tess, I still didn't know anyone... I didn't know anyone in the city either... again, an exception... I knew Alice... my best friend... we sometimes joke about how much we like to complicate our lives, me with my discoveries about my sexuality and her with her poor choices about her girlfriends or boyfriends. Alice is bisexual... she was always my greatest support during the worst moments of my life... if it weren't for the fact that she's more than indispensable as a friend... despite her inopportune calls about washing machines flooding her apartment... you could say that at some point Alice would have been the woman of my life... if I forget the fact that she's a total mess.

I finished breakfast leisurely... breakfast is like a religion to me, especially if it includes a good cup of coffee... and I headed to the garage where I had both my car and motorcycle. I decided on the motorcycle. The little I knew about the city had made me clear about one thing... the traffic was horrible! I didn't want to be late; after all, it was my first day, and I didn't want to make a bad impression... I smiled helplessly... I felt like a kid on her first day of school.

I arrived on time... as I said, I'm a stickler for punctuality... and I headed to reception where I ran into a very friendly lady... I caught her on one of her good days.

"Good morning!"

"Good morning, could you leave me your card, please?

"I'm sorry, but I'm not here as a patient."

"If you're a family member, you'll have to go to the waiting room."

"I'm not a family member of any patient either."

Then, only then, she raised her head, forgetting for a moment the papers she was reading, which up until that moment must have seemed extremely interesting to her. She looked at me over her glasses and raised her eyebrow questioningly, revealing her impatience and, above all, her curiosity. For a moment, I considered giving her a little grief, but the truth is, I was in a hurry to get started as soon as possible, so I decided to introduce myself.

"I'm Bette Porter, the new pediatrician at the hospital. I'm starting work today."

Once the introduction was over and her curiosity satisfied, she was ready to talk to me when...

"Bette!"

I turned to the side to see Franklin, the hospital director, coming out of the pit room. I had met with him a few days earlier to inform me about what awaited me in my new position and to sign the contract, so that's why he recognized me.

As soon as he saw me, he quickly walked over to me, greeting me effusively and courteously, and led me to what he called the epicenter of Cedars-Sinai... the ER.

We spent a good while wandering around the area so I could get to know the different rooms and see what each one was used for. We finished the route in the doctors' lounge. At that moment, Franklin was explaining to me how the emergency room worked at its most boring... the bureaucracy... I must admit that at that moment, I was rather distracted and more interested in putting on my gown and hanging up the damn stethoscope that had somehow gotten tangled up in my head... yes... I was in a world of yayyyy... I wasn't paying attention to Franklin... and I wasn't paying attention to the door that opened, letting someone in again, unexpectedly... her and her damned obsession.

"Franklin, I finally found you. Sorry to interrupt, but I have to talk to you about..."

"On the contrary, you're very timely. I'm glad you came. Please come in... Tina, I want you to meet the newest member of the hospital."

Just today, that name shot up. Unfortunately, I did the same with the damn stethoscope I was still holding. Unfortunately, I almost poked out one of my eyes, leaving me blind for the rest of my life.

Fortunately for me, first impressions aren't always what counts.

Silence! Oh my God! How can I have such a damned loud heart at the most inopportune moments... and above all... how the hell can I speak so rudely the first time she hears my voice?

"Fuck!....."

Not a "pleased to meet you," not even a simple, bland "hello"… no… the first thing Tina heard from my lips was: "Fuck!...."

"Are you okay?"

If looks really could kill, Franklin would have died right there, and he would have done so suffering like crazy… Was I okay? I'm telling you! I was fucking great! With one eye screwed because of the damn stethoscope, making a fool of myself in front of the woman I'd been pining for for two long months, and with my heart beating a mile a minute… yes sir… I was fucking great! But I would have been better off if I could have hidden six feet underground.

"Yes"

"Are you sure you're okay? Any more and you'll take your eye out."

As I said... I would have died right there... without anesthesia or anything.

"Would you let me take a look at you?"

"What?!"

It was clear she was getting better by the minute, and she was also clumsy and slurred... completely idiotic.

"Would you let me take a look at you?"

I still didn't react, as usual. I had no idea what Tina was talking about, and by now, a few tears were falling from my eyes.

"Your eye is quite red, maybe you've done something to your retina... let me see."

And without me being able to do anything to stop it, she stood right in front of me, a few inches from my body, and slid her hands down my face, trying to position it at the best angle to allow her to see my bruised eye. I fell hard onto the table behind me, and thank goodness the table was there, otherwise I would have fallen face first onto the floor, which is exactly what I needed.

Of course, she thought I'd sat on the table to make things easier for her, since she was shorter than me, and she smiled at me.

It's incredible, inexplicable, incomprehensible, irrational... The effect that a simple gesture can sometimes have on us. I could say the usual things: my pulse quickened, my blood raced, my heart raced, my reasoning clouded, and a thousand other things I can't even remember now. But nothing I can say now, at this moment, remembering everything that happened, could truly explain what I felt at that precise moment. Because I have no words, and even if I did, they would seem insufficient to accurately express the infinite number of feelings that coursed through every inch, every pore, every atom of my being... if it weren't for the fact that I was already in love with her... I would have done it at that moment.

For a moment, it was as if time had stopped its inexorable advance and allowed me, granted me, the luxury of enjoying that desired closeness of her body against mine and that longed-for touch of her hands on my skin... By now, she had positioned herself between my legs, shortening the distance between us even further, and had slid one of her soft hands to the back of my neck to hold my head while with the other, she kept my eye open and explored the first one with hers.

Honey-colored eyes... yes... I hadn't been mistaken... her eyes were honey-colored, as sweet as her touch, and as warm as her body felt against mine.

For a few seconds, after she finished her exploration and pulled away slightly from me, our gazes met, and that moment seemed to stretch on in time beyond anything else. Only then did I understand what it's like to feel that nothing and no one in this world exists apart from yourself and the person you love.

I suppose maybe I was coming across as a little brazen, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't tear my eyes away from her, from her hair, her eyes, her nose, her mouth, her hair, her mouth, her eyes, her mouth... but nothing lasts forever.

She finally broke away from me, looked at me sideways, lowered her head slightly. I swear for a moment I thought I saw a slight blush on her cheeks... and she unconsciously licked her lips...

The sound of the door closing brought me back to reality. I looked around, puzzled. We were alone. Franklin had disappeared, almost as if he could read my thoughts:

"Something urgent came up, he had to leave."

I looked at her again; there was no blush on her cheeks anymore, if there ever really was one. In the best voice I could muster at the moment:

"Thank you."

"Why?"

Was it just me, or did she really seem as bewildered as I was? I gestured to her, indicating my eye.

"Oh! It's nothing... it's been a pleasure..." She had blushed now, I was sure of that. "Umm... I think it's best if I go. They probably need me too."

Silence... and again the feeling of nothing existing but her and me.

"I'm leaving!"

"Okay..." Yes...sure...ummm...ummm...thanks again, Tina."

"It's nothing...well...see you...see you later..."

She looked at me questioningly, and I realized she was waiting for me to tell her my name.

"My name is Elizabeth."

"That's very nice."

"Thanks...anyway, I prefer to be called Bette rather than Elizabeth. It seems more informal and not so serious...I'd rather leave the Elizabeth thing to my dad for when he's going to scold me for something."

"Hahaha...well...nice to meet you, Bette."

Fortunately, I was still sitting, because if I hadn't, I would have fallen flat on my face hearing my name on her lips.

"Me too, Tina."

I hate Mondays!...and after what happened, that tomorrow…even more so… After that triumphant presentation to Tina, I decided that the best thing I could do was spend the rest of the day like any other mortal and that if it was about getting her attention, I’d better go for something that wouldn’t affect my physical integrity… that’s for sure… I sent the damn stethoscope packing… more than anything because there wasn’t much left of it after the trip I gave it as soon as Tina left the break room… thank goodness I always carry another spare, just in case… you know… a prepared woman is worth two.

So, you could say the rest of the day went by pretty normally, thank God, because after the emotions I suffered earlier in the day, one more of that kind and I'm sure I wouldn't have even made it to my birthday.

Yeah... it was a very normal and very, very quiet day, except for the 300 children who came to the emergency room that day... okay! Maybe I'm a bit exaggerated... there were 299 children!... somewhere around there, that number was... how outrageous!... and then they can complain about the birth rate!... I think they smelled it... "Guys, there's a new pediatrician at Cedars-Sinai. She doesn't have the slightest idea where most things are or how anything works, and on top of that, she had a really interesting start with the girl she really likes... we're going to totally ruin her day."

Moments like that, when I don't even have a moment to breathe, lead me to take a little pause, take a deep breath, and think: Bette, you're a pediatrician, pediatricians like children, so... you!... like children. Normally, repeating that to myself three times is enough, but that day I did it at least ten times.

It wasn't until almost the end of my shift that I was finally able to take a short break and recharge at the hospital cafeteria. I needed to eat something no matter what, and above all, a double... what am I saying? Triple the caffeine boost! Once I'd achieved my goal of stocking up on supplies, I launched myself like a bird of prey at the first empty table I found. Fortunately, it was in the most secluded part of the then-crowded cafeteria. Once again, thanks to whoever it was. I absolutely needed a tiny moment of privacy to analyze everything that had happened that day: work, patients, colleagues... and of course... Tina.

Chapter Text

I kept thinking about how much her presence affected me. I assumed that by now I should have been prepared to run into her anywhere... that was my sign, that was clear... but honestly, never in a thousand years would I have expected her to work in the same place as me... was it luck or misfortune? Of course, it was luck to have her by my side; it gave me the opportunity to meet her and talk to her... without stethoscopes, of course... but it would end up becoming a misfortune if I continued to be unable to coordinate my mind and body every time she came near me...

What drove me the most crazy was precisely that... either I found a way to control my uncontrolled senses or I would end up banging my head against the wall from the helplessness and frustration of having her in front of me and behaving like a child before her longed-for and desired Christmas gift... speechless and breathless... there was only one situation I hadn't experienced yet in her presence... the only thing left for me to do was faint at her feet... and I swear that was very close to happening that same morning... one more second of feeling her hand on the back of my neck and I would have collapsed to the floor without any remedy... mouth-to-mouth resuscitation would have had to be used to revive me... well... maybe fainting wasn't so bad after all.

I couldn't go on like this; desperation was killing me... I might sound a bit pedantic or conceited... but... damn! I'd never had a problem approaching or talking to a woman... maybe the fact that I didn't mind being rejected was the crux of the matter...

Until now, after meeting "Her", no woman had ever mattered enough to me that both her rejection and her acceptance mattered to me as much as they did now... not that I was indifferent to them, or that I didn't care at all... that would be too cold and insensitive of me... I'd be too much like "Her"... simply after that first experience, there came a moment when I decided that if anyone had to get hurt, I didn't want it to be me again... until now...

Tina wasn't just another one to add to the list... and it's short, anyway... believe me... no... It was, at that moment… my most longed-for and desired Christmas gift… the one I’d been waiting for my whole life… I wanted it for myself… and forever… Of course, I still thought it was crazy to feel what I was feeling for a stranger… yes, I knew her name… that she liked “Life is Beautiful”… that she probably had a boyfriend… and that she worked at the same hospital as me… but other than that, nothing more… she was still a complete stranger who blew my mind just by being in the same room as me…

It was absolutely crazy… something senseless… without a minimally coherent explanation… apparently, love is a crazy thing… and I was completely crazy. I was still immersed in those deep thoughts and wondering how to act on them when I felt the presence of someone standing next to the table.

"May I?"

I raised my head, almost expecting to see Tina... out of habit, I think... but no... it was a girl, about her age... I guessed, I've never been very good at it... with her height, medium-length, slightly curly hair, and quite cute, she wasn't my type, but she was very pretty... judging by the coat she was wearing, it was obvious she was a doctor... she was carrying a tray and waiting impatiently for me to let her sit next to me... not that I was exactly amused at that moment, it had nothing to do with her, it's just that I needed time for myself, and sharing a table wasn't the best way to get it.

"Yes, of course."

I'd finish my coffee and get the hell out of there... I have to admit... sometimes I can be charming... but other times I can be downright antisocial.

"Thank you."

I nodded in response and watched her for a few seconds. I couldn't help but give a small smile when I saw how she methodically arranged what she was carrying on the tray... juice here, glass there, fork there... After a while, probably feeling watched, I wasn't being very discreet, so to speak, she raised her head and looked at me... For a moment I expected her to give me a reproachful look for my audacity... but no... she smiled at me and immediately started laughing like a madwoman... damn! Besides being pretty, she had a super contagious smile.

"Wow! I can imagine what you're thinking... what a crazy woman I let sit at my table."

Well, yes... why would I deny it... she was scaring me.

"Relax, I'm more sane than I look, really... it's just that... I'm a bit of a maniac when it comes to food." "I'm not a big fan of eating and putting things away the way I want them... well, I'm not going to tell you, you've already seen me... all I need is to put the cutlery in alphabetical order."

On top of that, she was cute... all she needed was to be named Tina to be perfect... I was a little obsessed, weren't I?

"Yeah... don't think you're the only one... I also follow my own rituals, in my case with coffee - have I ever mentioned my coffee addiction?" – All I need to do is dance something like the rain dance every time I take it.

"Not for nothing, but now you're the one scaring me."

"Well... in that case, you could say you're sitting with a crazy woman."

I liked her, I liked her... it was definitely a clear sign of the friendship that would eventually form between us.

"Okay, we're tied, right?"

"Well, it seems so."

"What do you think about breaking the tie? My name is Shane."

"Nice to meet you, Shane. Mine's Elizabeth, although I prefer to be called Bette. I like it better."

"Well, I don't know why. Elizabeth is really lovely, but still... nice to meet you, Bette." – She extended her hand in greeting. – "Are you new? Here?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"No, it's not that, it's just that I've never seen you around here before... and what can I say? Almost everyone here knows each other... so when someone new comes, I don't really go unnoticed, especially when it's Kit's shift."

"Kit?"

"Yes, the receptionist."

Kindness personified. Who would have thought, at that moment, that I'd end up warming to that woman?

"Yes, I know who she is... well, yes, I'm new. More specifically, I'm the new pediatrician at the hospital."

"You started today, right?... bad day to do it, I'm afraid." Her compassionate look came over her. "Today, this place felt more like a daycare than a hospital." (So ​​you can say I'm exaggerating!)

"Are you telling me or are you telling me? Today I seriously thought about switching from pediatrics to gardening, it's more relaxing, believe me."

"I believe you, I believe you. So many children together have taken away my desire to be a mother, at least not in the near future."

When I was calmer, I began to notice a familiar sensation running through my body... I immediately turned around to look for what, or rather who, was causing that sensation... surprise! I had already said that the day was being too quiet, almost boring... too much, maybe?

Well... at least this time I had seen it coming... it was getting better by the minute... or so I thought... I was standing in the doorway of the cafeteria talking very animatedly with another nurse…out of the corner of my eye I noticed Shane, who I had somewhat left hanging after Tina’s appearance, raise an arm and wave to someone as well as make obvious gestures for them to come closer…I scanned the entire cafeteria with curiosity in an attempt to know who these gestures were directed at…no one…absolutely no one seemed to be the recipient of these gestures…wait…did I say no one?.....oh!, oh!.....yes there was someone….can you guess what letter their name began with?…..a clue….. with the T…. Yes sir!.... Bingo!.....

Tina raised her arm in return to Shane's greeting, apologized to the nurse accompanying her, and headed toward our table... Now what was I supposed to do with Shane?... Kill her or bow down at her feet?... I'd decide later... At that moment, I decided to enjoy the scene before me... Tina approaching my table, with that killer smile on her lips... her half-up hair swinging with every step she took... and with that nurse's uniform that did a very, very, very good job of hiding her figure... I've never met anyone who looks as good and is as incredibly sexy as Tina is in those t-shirts she always wears at work...

God!... There's no denying it... she was more than just beautiful... she was... she was stunning, damn it!... It wasn't just that my head was in a spin anymore... nest and my heart was always on the verge of a heart attack, plus she'd send me racing with just a flick of her eyebrows... for my taste, she was in too much of a hurry to cross the distance between us... she finally arrived.

"Hellooooo"

"Hello! Where have you been, bug? I haven't seen you all morning... shirking, huh? How embarrassing, you god! What a head nurse!"

Haha haha... yes, yes, shirking... I wish I did! But with Davenport in the middle, it's hard to believe... I spent most of the morning with him in the operating room... and when I finally managed to leave, Alexandra came and caught me off guard... And back to the operating room again... I tell you, you're made for each other.

"Come sit down, you must be exhausted."

At that moment, Shane must have remembered my presence there. The truth is, I was in the same situation... completely oblivious to him, focused as I was on continuing to take in the scenery.

"Do you mind?"

"No, no way..." - I didn't care, on the contrary... I loved it!

Tina sat between Shane and me... there wasn't much room, so it was somehow inevitable that one of her legs would constantly brush against mine... ugh... I started to get really hot.

"Sorry, I'm so rude... may I introduce you..." This is Tina, our head nurse... and this is Bette, the hospital's new pediatrician.

"Hello again!"

"Hello!"

"How's your eye?"

Oh my God! Oh my God! I just hope I didn't really blush as much as I felt like I did.

"Fine, thanks... I think it's still there."

"Haha haha."

"Have you met before?"

"Yes."

"No."

An exchange of glances, the kind that left me so stunned.

"No."

"Yes."

I still hadn't recovered from that first one, when again, another exchange of glances, this time accompanied by A grin from ear to ear and another touch of her leg... ugh... did I mention the fact that it was really hot there?

"Yes or no... let's see, girls... I'm getting carried away."

I gladly gave Tina the floor; I wasn't very focused at the time to explain what had happened that morning.

"Yes..." We've met... and no... until now we haven't been formally introduced - Shane could be really expressive with that questioning eyebrow - I mean, I didn't know Bette was the new pediatrician... Besides, I thought someone from up north, from Seattle, was going to get the position, according to what Kit said.

Let's just say Kit has never been right with me.

"From Philadelphia, well, actually I'm from New York, but up until now I was working in Philadelphia."

For a moment, the way they both looked at me, I had the feeling that either there was an alien behind me or that I had grown a third eye on my forehead.

"From New York?"

"Yep."

"Sorry... it's just... well... it doesn't seem like it... I mean, you barely have an accent... I don't know... you're hardly noticeable."

"Yeah, the truth is, I'm a "I'm a little weird."

"Wow... how lucky, really... I say this because about three years ago I was in New York and I thought it was really beautiful... it's one of the places I've liked the most."

"Yes, it is very beautiful, although I can't really say I'm too objective about it... and you, Tina... have you been there?"

At that moment, I was on a roll. If I could stand that constant rubbing of legs, there like a real wild boar... that kept me from talking to her, eh! What?

"Well, the truth is, no, I've never been, although it's not for lack of desire, eh!... everyone I know who's been says it's beautiful... so it's not just your thing... yep... I'd really like to go."

"Well, maybe who knows, with Bette being here now..."

It was decided... from now on, Shane was my goddess to me.

"Shaneeeee!... what a nerve you have, right?... of course, she hasn't even finished her first day of work here and you're already getting her into such a mess."

"Why?... I only said that with Bette being here, we could go someday and have her show us New York... I don't think anyone knows it better than her... right?... I didn't say we were going to settle in at her house or anything like that... the truth is, I wasn't there very long. "Time to really enjoy it."

"Yeah...but..."

Shane looked at me for support, and of course, I wasn't going to deny it.

"Shane's right. Besides, I wouldn't mind being your tour guide."

Yes, yes... I was going to care... I... if necessary, I'd give Tina a piggyback ride all the way to New York.

"You girls are a little crazy, aren't you?"

I don't know about Shane, but I was completely crazy about her.

"Who's crazy?"

The three of us turned toward the person with that voice... Tina's leg slid along the outside of my thigh... I bit my lower lip until it was almost bleeding in a desperate attempt to suppress the moan that involuntary gesture provoked in me... Wasn't there air conditioning there, or something?

"Nothing, Tess, your girlfriend is crazy"—smile, for which she should have been severely fined—"and apparently she's found someone to keep her company in her madness."

If only she knew.

"Thank goodness!...for a moment you had scared me."

"Thanks for defending me, darling...I think."

"Whatever it is for you...my crazy girl."

"Ugh!...you sure are so sweet..."

"If envy were a problem...come on, honey, sit here next to me."

No sooner said than done, Tess settled down next to Shane...consequence... Tina shifted to give him space and pressed herself even closer to me... the light touch stopped being light and became a pure, hard contact of thigh to thigh and arm to arm... either someone would turn on the air conditioning right then or a fire would soon break out with me as the fuse.

Once Tess settled in next to Shane, we were facing each other. That's when she noticed me and recognized me.

"Bette?"

"Uhmm... Hi Tess!"

"Wow, what a surprise! I'm so glad to see you!" She seemed genuinely happy to see me, which made me feel a little guilty about not having contacted her throughout the day to let her know I was there. “Don't tell me you're working here!”

“Well, I'm afraid so.”

“That's incredible! I didn't know anything… Richard didn't tell me you were coming to work in Los Angeles.”

“Well, the truth is, it was a bit hasty, I guess that's why he hasn't told you anything.”

I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was taking. I didn't feel like having a conversation about why I was there. I also assumed that Tess must somehow be aware of everything that had happened, maybe not the reasons that led to the cancellation of the wedding, but certainly about that fact… after all, her family had been formally invited to the wedding.

"Um, um... sorry to interrupt... apparently... you've met before, right?"

I have to say it again... Shane was my goddess... and above all, my lifeline to end that conversation.

"Yep."

"Yeah, ever since we were practically kids... I'm sure I've told you more than once about my friend Richard."

"Richard, uhmm... Richard... Richard... yeah... the one from the New York law firm, right?"

"Yeah... well, he and Bette are siblings."

Lawyers?" Honestly, maybe it would have been better to continue that first conversation, especially seeing Tina's face when Shane said that.

"Yes... Bette and Richard's father is the owner of one of the most important law firms in the United States... Porter & Associates."

Maybe the one who ended up becoming the human torch was Tess and not me... uncomfortable and with no intention on my part to hide it, I shifted in my seat and looked him straight in the eyes in a clear attempt to make him realize that he was going too far in providing certain information... for nothing in the world did I want people to think that if I was there it was because of some kind of privilege due to my kinship... and even less so Tina... whose jaw was almost unhinged at that moment… Fortunately, Tess noticed the situation and remained silent… Shane tried to make light of the situation.

“In the end, it turns out that the only one who didn't know you from the hospital was me, Bette.”

“It seems so.”

“Since you're here, I suppose we'll get together sometime, right?”

“Uhmmm… I honestly don't know if…”

“Wait! Don't say anything… you'll see… this Saturday Tess and I are having dinner at home… why don't you come?” ...so besides seeing each other and talking about your things, you can get to know the other classmates, if they don't already know you."

"Yoooo..."

Once again, Shane sought support for his idea, only this time the recipient wasn't me, but Tina, who still wasn't saying a word... I didn't quite know how to take that... Damn Tess!... Tina snapped out of her trance and turned to me with her biggest smile, lighting me up again with the touch of her body against mine... Did this woman really not realize the effect she was having on me?

"I think it's a great idea. In fact... I'm not going to New York with you if you don't come to that dinner first."

Do I need to say what my response was?

Dressed to succeed!.....that's how I was that Saturday night...standing there in front of my bedroom mirror, looking at my reflection in it...with a smile of complete satisfaction from ear to ear and a look of absolute pleasure, I could say without a doubt that I had finally achieved it...

After almost three hours of indecision, of constant dressing and undressing...I even had muscle pains by now!...finally, it seemed I had found what I wanted...yes sir...Tonight you're a hit, Bette! ....Tonight more than one of you will have a heart attack...of course it's clear that I was happy if only ONE fainted at my feet...and if it was about mouth-to-mouth, I'd be there in the front row...The mere idea that something like that could happen...placing my lips on her mouth...made me shudder from head to toe... I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes tightly, as if that were the most effective remedy to curb all that desire that had suddenly taken hold of me…

Once I managed to calm down and return to "normal" again… ever since I saw Tina for the first time, that word stopped making sense to me… I looked at myself in the mirror again and sighed loudly… in reality, I think that sigh shook the very foundations of the house… a bit exaggerated, I know… but the truth is, if that had been the case, I swear to God I wouldn't have noticed it in the slightest, and certainly my legs wouldn't have.

Needless to say, my whole being was a mixture of nerves, about what awaited me that night… desire, about what I wanted to happen with Tina… and anxiety, about what could really happen between us… After Shane's invitation and Tina's words to convince me to accept, you could say I spent the rest of the week as if the spirit of a saint had taken hold of me… I say this because more than walking, I was levitating from one place to another…

"Bette, you have a patient in box 3"… there I went, fast and furious, feeling as if my feet were barely touching the ground, the happiness that overwhelmed me just by seeing her and talking to her outside of a strictly work setting… It wasn't a date, far from it, but it was the perfect opportunity to get to know her and get closer… to put aside my unusual shyness around her and show myself as I really was. really...yes...I was the reincarnation of Saint Teresa of Calcutta herself...and I was every time Tina approached me to remind me of the invitation and the retaliation I would get if I backed out.

"Bette, remember that you have an unmissable date on Saturday, so don't even think about making plans or excuses."

"I already told you and Shane for the umpteenth time—if I remember correctly, yesterday was the last time, I think—that I would go... how little faith in me!" …I don't know why…"

"It's not a lack of faith, far from it, but neither Shane nor I trust you one bit."

She certainly had reasons not to… especially every time I saw her approaching me in that damn sexy nurse uniform, although to be honest, the uniform wasn't the least of it.

"I don't know how to take that, I get the feeling it's not a good thing… right?"

"What I'm trying to tell you is that we know for a fact that you don't like social gatherings very much…"

Let me see if I could guess, they knew it because of… Tess?… her and her damn habit of providing inappropriate information at the most inopportune moments… all I needed was for Tina to end up thinking I was a rather high-spirited, antisocial snob.

"It's not that I don't like social gatherings, it's What… is that… well… I can't help but feel a little creeped out… the truth is, I'm a little… "

Reserved?

I'd been working at that hospital for barely four days, four days in which it seemed completely and absolutely inevitable that I'd bump into Tina every now and then, and even occasionally work side by side with her while we were seeing patients... four days in which every time we locked eyes, I felt like each and every one of those barriers I'd worked so hard to build around myself throughout my life, not to mention the ones I'd built after breaking up with "Her," were cracking and crumbling beyond repair... and what was worse... without me being able, or rather, without me wanting to do anything about it... I felt vulnerable, and for the first time in my life, I didn't care about seeming vulnerable... no... I didn't care about seeming vulnerable... with Tina.

"Yes... I really want to go—I really wanted to!" – But… maybe you won’t believe me… I know that sometimes I can seem a little dry and even rude, but I assure you that I’m not like that… at least not always… I haven’t bitten anyone yet… hehehe – If there’s anything in this life I like more than her smile, that’s definitely… her laugh – But it’s just that I have a hard time opening up to others, especially when I don’t know anyone… No, in the end it turns out that I’m… ‖

―Shy?‖

Honestly, the fact that I was so transparent to her was starting to worry me greatly.

―I wouldn’t say that much, eh?… I have a reputation to uphold, Tina. ‖

―Hehehehehe… "Well, I love it."

"What?"

"That mix of reserved... shy..." it was incredible, her ability to leave me speechless with just a glance, "and a little rude... I don't know... I think it's part of your charm... I like your personality."

Even more incredible was her ability to take me to heaven with just a few words and leave as if nothing had happened.

Was it or wasn't I supposed to levitate all over the hospital?... "Of course I did," Bette!... my reflection replied... once again, I looked at myself carefully in the mirror and analyzed my appearance down to the smallest detail... my hair was down; at that moment, it looked slightly curly because it still retained some of the moisture from the shower... I had put on some makeup, not much, to be honest, I've never been one for excesses in that sense... I only wore the necessary amount of makeup to highlight my cheekbones, lips, and eyes. The latter, while not overly dramatic in color, were bright enough to look truly striking once highlighted properly. As for my outfit, I had finally decided on a tight black dress that reached my waist and was loose to my knees. The dress, which tied at the nape of my neck, had a generous neckline in the front, but didn't show too much. The back left my back completely exposed and fit my waist like a glove, highlighting its narrowness. Despite being loose at the bottom, it perfectly hinted at my thighs. As a finishing touch to the outfit, I wore black high-heeled sandals, nothing too over the top, but just enough to enhance the dress and show off my long legs.

Frankly, although I may be guilty of being immodest, I looked spectacular. Or at least that's what I wanted to think. Contrary to my style. to be... that night had the clear purpose of attracting attention.

Once I had achieved part of my goal, I headed out towards Tess and Shane's house, ignoring the chaos I left behind me... more specifically, my room, with clothes strewn across every corner... being so extremely tidy, this was a real penance for me, but that night I had more important things to think about... Barely an hour later, I found myself ringing the doorbell of the house where my "official presentation" to the other hospital colleagues was to take place...

It was Shane herself who let me in... I must admit that in a way, she surprised me... Tess being part of a social class where appearances were everything, which included having a fairly large domestic staff, it was surprising that it hadn't been a maid who opened the door for me... but I suppose the fact that I was with Shane was a serious indication of how much it had changed her... needless to say Which is definitely for the better.

"Bette! I'm so glad to see you! Come in, come in... we've all been waiting for you."

"It's true that you don't trust me... I told you I'd come... anyone would have dared not to after the subliminal threats that both you and Tina threw at me... worse than my mother, come on!"

"Hahahaha... Sorry... we've been a bit annoying, haven't we? But I really wanted you to come and meet us all... you know, it's always good to have another member in the Sect."

"Sometimes you scare me."

"Let's see if you can tell Tina that too..." If you dare... just in case, I'll warn you that she's the oldest disciple of the Sect."

If I had to tell Tina what I felt every time I saw her, I highly doubted I would have ever used the word "fear."

"Well, don't just stand there, come on in."

After the usual kisses and compliments from both sides, we headed to where everyone else was waiting for us, at the back of the house, in the large garden where dinner would take place. Once we got there, Shane began introducing me to each and every one of them. Of course, I knew most of them... a week in the hospital is a long time... Alexandra, the director of the emergency room, a woman with extremely clear ideas and worthy of admiration in more ways than one... Hector, a charming Argentinian and sometimes as tender as a teddy bear... Eva, from the little I knew of her By her constant comings and goings in the hospital ambulance, she had made it clear to me that she was an incredibly lively, optimistic, and outspoken girl… Robert, head of Eva’s unit, and damned similar to her, maybe that was the reason why they didn’t seem to get along very well… and last, but by no means least… Davenport… what can I say… my other alter ego… so similar to me… it was strange that we hadn’t already thrown things at each other… I suppose it was because when he wanted to, he could be terribly… charming?...

For the moment, and to my complete disappointment… there was no sign of Tina… nothing at all… it’s not like there were many people, something for which I thanked Shane with an exchange of glances, but I wouldn’t have minded celebrating that blessed dinner in front of a crowd without With that, Tina's presence would have been guaranteed... as if she could read my thoughts.

"Tina called just a few minutes ago, shortly before you arrived, to let me know that something had come up."

Was it just me imagining it, or for a moment, everything seemed to freeze in time: the crackling of the barbecue fire, my breathing, the whispering of the trees, the beating of my heart, the voices of those present... my hopes.

"Apparently, her car refused to start, and she had to take a taxi... I don't think she'll be here long... she'll probably be here any minute."

Whew... my relief at that moment is beyond words.

After that brief, but extremely intense shock, I settled down to enjoy the evening, certain that I'd soon be able to do so with Tina already there... I don't know how much time actually passed, but it's clear that for me it felt like an eternity. I only know that at one point, while we were all enjoying one of those moments, the doorbell rang...

Shane broke away from the group and went to the door. A few minutes later, he appeared with Tina at his side. They were laughing uproariously, probably about Tina's adventures with her car... a junkyard she apparently wasn't willing to part with even if they killed her... They stopped at the threshold of the garden gate, as if waiting for something, still laughing... It was then that our gazes, once again, as so many times throughout that week, met without any opposition, at least on my part.

I don’t know if I was levitating at that moment or not, what I do know is that I was a hair away from feeling that at any moment I was going to irremediably go into cardiac arrest… I don’t know if I had achieved my goal of getting her attention or not, but what I did know is that at that moment there was surely something more than a considerable puddle beneath me and I know this because I myself felt part of that puddle… I don’t know if I had triumphed with her or not, what I do know is that at that moment there was no longer any doubt that Bette had finally been conquered, from beginning to end, by Tina… There was only one problem… I wasn’t Tina’s only conquest…

Chapter Text

Just like he did in the park, suddenly and surprisingly... once again, being unwanted... he appeared... and with him, my hopes, my dreams disappeared...

He approached Tina... who was still looking at me... he grabbed her by the waist... that made her jump and tear her eyes away from mine... and placed a soft, intense kiss on her lips... I don't know why Bette thinks he's anything but a brother or cousin... he smiled widely... "On top of that, he's damn handsome!" and pulled her even closer to him while, together with Shane, they headed towards where we were all... at that point in the movie, I was only interested in knowing one thing:

And who the hell was he?

Her boyfriend… no… he wasn't her brother, her cousin, her next-door neighbor, or anything like that… no… he wasn't her boyfriend… her boyfriend of a year and a half… his name? And who the hell cared to know his name!… I certainly didn't!… I just wanted to die… but I didn't… it's true… you can't die of love… but hurting, really hurting, hurts like hell.

If there's one thing I've always been good at in this life, it's putting on my best smile while inside I feel like I'm dying… and that's precisely what I did while Tina decided to introduce me to her partner… I could have saved myself the effort.

"Bette, I want you to meet someone... can you come here for a second, honey?" The mere mention of that last word made my stomach clench. "Come here... let me introduce you... honey, this is Bette, the new pediatrician at the hospital... and this is Eric... my boyfriend."

I swear to God it took a superhuman effort to hold back the first bite of my food right then and there.

"Nice to meet you, Bette."

At that moment, I knew better than anyone what the Judas kiss was, because I felt everything but joy at meeting him.

"Same here, Eric - I'd gladly strangle you!"

"Tina told me you're from the North..." Had Tina told her about me? At another time, I would have jumped up and down in excitement, but in those moments, all signs of life seemed to have vanished from my body. "...more specifically, New York... I love the city, yes sir... full of skyscrapers... and if you'll allow me... overflowing with beautiful women... although... what can I say?... none as beautiful as my girl."

"My girl"... I couldn't take it anymore!... I had to get out of there no matter what... I needed to breathe again; I was suffocating from holding my breath... my chest hurt so much from my heart beating so hard... and I was starting to feel everything around me getting foggy... yes... I had to get out of there... I needed a break...

I apologized to Tina and her boyfriend as best I could, with that cynical smile ever present on my lips, and headed as quickly as I could to the bathroom. I had no idea where I was, but it didn't matter. I just wanted to enjoy a little break away from Tina and... from... God! I finally found the bathroom. I closed the door and felt the air fill my lungs again. I wish my chest had stopped hurting too! But that would have been asking too much.

Leaning on the sink counter, trying to stay upright. I raised my head and looked at my reflection in the mirror... for a few moments I barely recognized myself... that wasn't me! The cynical smile had vanished... the brightness of my eyes had been erased by a shadow of deep sadness and my face had paled to the point that even a dead person could boast of looking healthier...

What was it that really surprised me about that situation? That Tina had a boyfriend? It was more than logical... That she had gone with him to dinner? Shane never said anything about not going with company, in fact, he insisted that if I wanted to bring someone, I should do so... That she seemed to be as in love with him as he was with her? That should have made me happy, if only because I wanted the best for her... but no... the problem is that I wanted to be the one who made her happy... The problem is that even though at one point or another I thought Tina might have a boyfriend, I never, ever was... I wasn't really prepared to face such a situation...

Tina had a boyfriend... and he wasn't just a boyfriend of a few months, no... they'd been together for almost two years... it was a relationship long enough to be considered more than stable... that was the problem... Tina wanted someone else, while I couldn't stop falling more and more in love with her.

It took me a while to recover a little... at least enough to be able to get out of the bathroom and face an entire evening watching Tina with someone else... I touched up my makeup a little, just enough to hide my paleness, took a deep breath, and left the bathroom heading for the garden... halfway there, I ran into Shane, who, alarmed by my delay, decided to see if something was wrong with me.

"Are you okay?"

"What?..... Oh, yeah... sorry... I just got carried away... I'm sorry... I took so long?"

"A little, to be honest... I was starting to get worried... I saw you were taking so long... and I don't know, I started to think maybe..."

"I'm fine, really... sorry if I scared you, I didn't mean to."

Once I met Shane, it didn't take long to discover that he wasn't someone who was easily fooled... at least not this time... I needed a good excuse... but now!

"It's okay... you see, I just got out of the bathroom and I got a call, and it wasn't pleasant at all..."

"Did something serious happen?"

"No, no, no... nothing's happened – you're such a good liar, Bette!... and the Oscars go to...! – nothing serious, really, it's just that..."

"I understand... someone special, right?"

"Yes"

Fortunately, in addition to being insistent, she was, um, extremely discreet.

"Are you feeling better?... okay... shall we go back?... fantastic... if we take any longer, these guys will start eating us up."

Relieved to not have to keep explaining, I let Shane guide me back to the Garden... yes... back to the garden... and back to reality... with the other classmates... with Tina... and her boyfriend.

Only one thing crossed my mind:

What now?

* * * * * * * * * *

I was bored out of my mind... what a long day, for God's sake! …I was sitting in the comfortable chair in my office on the pediatric floor…I had been up there for two hours looking for something to do to keep my lazy mind occupied…I had finished everything I had to do an hour and 59 minutes ago, including alphabetizing the many things I kept in my desk drawers…You can't be that organized, Bette…I was bored…I was seriously starting to consider sorting the paper clips on my desk by color…You're sick! …Did I mention the fact that I was bored to death?…

It was Tuesday, and the day was passing by as peacefully as it could be…deadly peaceful…there were no patients to see, no reports to fill out, no charts to review…there was just one problem…my lazy, treacherous mind…it and its devilish obsession with reliving that damn night over and over again.

Two months... almost two months had passed since that fateful night when I gave a lesson in... how to smile and not die trying...

* * * * * * * * * *

Once we all sat down at the table ready to enjoy dinner, I focused so much on maintaining control and smiling every now and then that by the end of the evening, that smile seemed to become part of me, almost like a second skin... of course, once I crossed the threshold of my house, that smile vanished as if by magic, and all that remained was a pathetic grimace that perfectly reflected the torture that damned dinner had been for me.

I guess if I had somehow been able to point out her flaws about…about…God!…the mere thought of having to say that word made me sick…anyway…courage Bette…as I was saying…if only I had been able to go home with the satisfaction of having filled a whole sack with the multiple flaws that adorned about…about…come on Bette, off the cuff…about Tina’s boyfriend…probably the evening wouldn’t have been so…so…how to put it?…insufferable, hateful, eternal, maddening, irritating, overwhelming…okay, I’ll stop…but no…it wasn’t like that…

Look at that, this Eric was a paragon of virtue…with light brown hair, almost blond…olive-green eyes…quite handsome, but still manly…dark skin…slim, rather athletic build…a little taller than me, not much, between five or ten centimeters… and if that weren’t enough, he was also fun, cultured, polite and… he was madly in love with Tina… his gestures, his looks… his words showed it… what I said… any more and they would make him a saint!… it even seemed strange to me that he didn’t wear the famous halo above his head…

Yes… he was so perfect, that it was inevitable to see how the other women at the dinner remained sepulchral silent every time he said something… so little that I could blame him for it… I have to admit that ignoring the fact that I am very, very, very lesbian and that he was an obstacle when it came to having something with Tina… therefore, I hated him… the truth is that the guy was the ideal son-in-law, the boyfriend that everyone wants, the prodigal son… yes, yes, yes… he was that and much more…… but… I… HATED HIM

As for Tina...what can I say? That she was radiant? That she looked like a goddess? That she was gorgeous? That's clear...I've already said once that for me she always looked gorgeous, even with a simple potato sack on...only that night she was wearing something more than a potato sack...

The truth is that for the first time since I saw her, I didn't want to lay my eyes on her for too long...mostly because every time I did, I always ended up finding a trace of Eric's presence near her...a hand on her waist...a caress on her cheek...his hand intertwined with hers...he was a bit of an octopus, he really was the guy!...Frankly, I was losing my desire...but it wasn't just because of that, because I felt like dying...but also because I was sure that if I looked directly into her eyes for longer than strictly prudent, she would end up realizing what was happening to me and why, or rather... said, by whom… so you could say I spent almost the entire evening “ignoring” his presence… having conversations I didn’t even understand what they were about… laughing at stories I didn’t even find funny… and exchanging glances with the ones I cared about the least…

Only once during that evening was there a brief exchange of glances between us… at that moment Eric was telling anecdotes from his student days… it’s obvious I wasn’t the least bit interested, but I had to pretend, so I just laughed along with the others while keeping my hands to myself… so I wouldn’t put them around their necks… and my eyes to myself… so no one could see how much I wanted to do it… Busy with the napkin... poor napkin!... that I had on my lap... suddenly I felt watched... I looked up... there she was... staring at me... with a slight hint of her beautiful smile appearing on her lips and a look of... annoyance?... reproach?... pain?... I don't know what it was... I didn't have time to figure it out... she looked away and focused all her attention on the conversation taking place there, leaving me in suspense...

What had that been?....was she mad at me?....why?...okay...I had "ignored" her, but in reality I had only tried to behave with her as I would with any other person with whom I was not totally and absolutely in love...so...that look?....was it my imagination?....my desire?...the only thing I know for sure is that that look did not contribute in any way to improve either the evening or my mood...which was already on the floor...that's for sure...the smile was still there.

* * * * * * * * * *

Agggggg...I had to immediately find something to distract myself with...I couldn't go on like this...I left my office at full speed, heading nowhere, all I wanted at that moment was to leave behind all those memories regarding that night and it was more than evident that sitting there in my office, with nothing to do, was not the best way to achieve that...Let's not deny it, I was having a brown day, neither gray nor black, just brown…that's right…dark brown…it had cost me a lot to get up…and the free time I had available throughout that day far from helping me was driving me crazy…it was giving me the chance to think about everything I didn't want to think about and above all it allowed me to think about what that look from Tina had really meant…it may seem crazy, but the truth is that on more than one occasion when we looked at each other I had the feeling that “something” was happening between us…on my part it was more than clear…but on hers…what?

"Bette!"

I stopped dead in my tracks, looked around, and before I knew it, I'd reached the cafeteria... about five meters away from me, Alexandra was sitting at a table, gesturing for me to come closer... I wasn't alone... there were Shane, Eva, Kit, and... I smiled helplessly... what do you want?... one isn't made of iron!... and Tina...

I approached slowly, not wanting to show how much I wanted to be next to them... ahem... okay... next to her... once I arrived, I saw there weren't any free chairs, so I looked around to find one. When I turned back to the table, I noticed that everyone had squeezed in a bit to make room for me right next to... Tina... I hesitated for a moment... that wasn't a good idea... at least not that day... not that it was a good idea on other days; it was never a good idea to sit next to Tina... but that day was even less so.

"Aren't you going to sit down?"

Okay... I know perfectly well that on that occasion, it wasn't my imagination... there was a certain reproach in Tina's tone, accompanied by a clear challenge in the way she looked at me... That's it!

"Of course, why wouldn't I?"

What do you want me to say?... I love challenges!

I have to admit it... after all, I am who I am... and the truth is, I like emotions... and even more so when the one giving them to me is Tina... Let's see, why the hell wouldn't I sit next to him? Because I was shaking all over? Well, I gritted my teeth, so I said, because I was gasping for air? Given the limited amount of fresh air we have in Los Angeles, he was doing me a favor.

Because my heart was racing to unimaginable limits? You had to die of something. In short, I sat next to him, keeping my distance, of course. The cemetery is full of brave people.

"What girls... a hidden pajama party or something?"

"That's right... but don't worry, you didn't miss anything... we were waiting for you."

Uuuuuuu... it was clear... he was itching for war... and he was starting to sharpen his claws... although he didn't need to, he had more than enough just looking at me the way he did.

"What detail...remind me to thank you later - especially you - meaning you're just like me, right?...bored out of your mind uhhhmm"

*―then came you……‖

1 – 0 for Tina

―I never knew love before, then came you….‖

1 – 1 Draw

―Ainsss…. "I love that song!..... it's beautiful."

"Yes, yes... it's not exactly the song you like."

"Eva, do you think that just because you're a little obsessed with men means the rest of us are the same way with women, huh?... besides, I remind you that I already have a girlfriend."

"Whatever you say, Shane, but Dionne Warwick when she was young was to die for... besides, I remind you that boyfriends or girlfriends are annoying, but they don't stop us."

"I don't know why I bother with you... you're a case in point."

"Bette, thank goodness you're here, finally a little sanity at this meeting!"

Luckily for Alexandra, she was the head of the ER, and that's what saved her from being immediately ejected from the table... ainsss... If looks could kill!

"Hey, hey... some respect, eh!... the only ones here who are crazy are these two... these young people only think about one thing... "

"Come on, Kit... don't be a conceited person, man doesn't live by bread alone... or do you not have sinful thoughts?"

"Girl!"

Shane was right, this Eva was a case... poor Kit, she wasn't getting out of this alive.

"And you, Bette?"

Off to attack!... Place your bets, gentlemen.

"What?"

"And you... don't you have sinful thoughts?"

2 on 1 I was on the ropes, I admit.

"Why?"

"No." I know, I say this because so far we don't know anything or almost nothing about you... for example... We don't know if you have a boyfriend or what? "

"Are you interested?"

2 - 2 And yes... for your information, I sinned every day... with her.

"Yes... we're interested.

3 - 2 Cheater!

"No, I don't have one."

"I can't believe it!"

"That's what I'm saying... you're lying!... sure... come on Bette..." Tell us, come on."

"You guys are such gossips, aren't you?..."

"Well, yes."

"Are you so bored that you have nothing else to do but gossip about my private life to pass the time?"

"Well, yes."

Right then it became clear that Kit wasn't the only Perez Hilton at the hospital... not even the ER director was safe.

"Well, no... I don't have a boyfriend... I used to... but right now I'm not with anyone."

And it wasn't for lack of desire!... I even had a candidate.

"It's impossible... ahem... I mean... well... you are... what you are..."

"Tall, pretty, smart, fun..."

If I ever needed someone to I lifted my spirits, I knew who I had to turn to... straight to Eva

"Reserved, dry... and a little rude"

4 - 2 That was on the way to a rout

"According to what you told me one day, that's part of my charm"

4 - 3 There, there... coming back

"Sure?... I don't remember"

5 - 3 Touche

Okay, I think at this point a little clarification is necessary as to why Tina's attitude was somewhat defiant...

After that famous dinner at Shane and Tess's house, my attitude towards her over the last two months was... well... a bit... evasive?...

You might think I was probably using the indifference tactic to get her attention... but the truth is, no... nothing could be further from the truth... among other things because practicing that tactic with Tina is frankly... It makes me something more than impossible considering the effect that her mere presence causes in me... it's not like one day I would wake up and decide to forget about her... that was even more impossible still... no... my reasons for that attitude of mine were due to other motives... or rather... to one and only motive... here's an example

* * * * * * * * * *

1st -- I was walking out the door of the doctors' break room towards box 4 where a patient was waiting for me... I opened the door and bumped into Tina, who was coming in this time... with the crash, I dropped the report I was holding, I bent down to pick it up and...

"Fuck! – Bette, that little mouth – my nose!"

"Ugh... my head!"

"Ugh... sorry, sorry... did I hurt you?"

"No way... well... just a little... and you?"

"I'm fine, thanks... my nose, not so much."

"Sorryyyy..." I'm not looking where I'm going!.....let me see you."

"No, no...I'm fine...I'm great." - Don't touch me, don't touch me, I know myself.

"Are you sure?...come on, silly, let me..."

"I'm really fine." - Don't come any closer!

"You're so stubborn, aren't you?"

"Look who's talking!"

"Besides being stubborn..." Sorry to say this... but you're a little clumsy.

"Yeah... a little." - but only since I've known you, so it's your fault.

"Tina!"

"Tell me, Kit."

"Um... Eric called... apparently he wanted to talk to you about something urgent. He told me to call him as soon as you can."

"Thanks, Kit, I'll call him right away."

"Okay..." I'd better go, I have a patient waiting for me" – that's it, I'm going straight to the bathroom to have some porridge.

―Betteeeee……waittttt‖

2nd -- I was in the elevator going down to the cafeteria to get my daily dose of caffeine… the elevator stopped… the doors opened… Tina appeared, who had been staring at the floor… she raised her head… she smiled at me… I leaned on the handrail for support… always the same! … I should be used to those smiles of hers by now… she got into the elevator

―Hellooooo!….. I haven't seen you all day, how are you doing?…. Lots of work, huh?‖

―Hello!….. yeah a little… there was an accident with a school bus and I'm really busy… and you… where are you? "What are you doing?" - apart from in my heart, in my blood, in my thoughts, in my soul

"In the operating room with Alexandra... what... do you miss me?"

"Pssss" - if I told you!

The elevator stopped again... the doors opened... and suddenly... only God knows where the hell so many people came from... consequently... we were all packed tightly together and Tina was completely and absolutely glued to my body... with her hands on my hips and her cheek almost pressed against mine

"Apparently the other elevator isn't working"

"Uh-huh" - what's not working for me is my head with your mouth pressed against my ear

"Am I bothering you?... I don't want to crush you, but I can't even move... this feels like the Tokyo subway"

"No, No... don't worry... I'm fine... you're not bothering me." - It's not exactly bothering me.

"Where are you going?"

"Downstairs, to the cafeteria, to get something to eat and take a break from all the hustle and bustle." - God, you smell good!

"Do you mind if I join you?"

"No, in fact, I'll treat you." - Do you mind if I kiss you?

"Okay."

The elevator finally arrived at the bottom... the doors opened... the whole crowd came out... and... there, right in front of the elevator door... was him.

"Tina, honey! Lucky me. I was just coming up to find you to see if you'd like to come eat with me during your break."

"Um..."

"Hi! How are you, Bette?"

"Fine—until I saw you a few seconds ago, I was doing great. "And you?"

"Here, waiting to see if Tina decides to accept my invitation."

"Uh...um...I...I...I'm going to pediatrics." - and on the way, straight to the bathroom again.

"But weren't you going to the cafeteria? I thought it was your break time."

"Yeah, well...I forgot something at the office...see you."

3rd—Me at the reception desk filling out a patient's discharge form while trying to endure as stoically as I could the incessant barrage of gossip so kindly provided by Kit...

"Of course, who would have thought it? She seems so formal, so..."

"Goodyyyy!..."

Finally, a kind soul to free me from that good woman!

"Manyyyy! Look who we have here... Tina, you look so pretty! Right, Bette?"

Was it necessary for me to respond? Wasn't the puddle I was forming enough of an answer?

"If it's true," I'd better bite my tongue. If I say what I really think...

"Thanks."

Is it turning red?

"Are you coming in or out?"

"Ainsssss Kit... you're losing my senses, huh?... I don't know... "

"Oh, girl, you can't be in everything... and then you say I'm a gossip..."

Gossip, I don't know, but the hospital bulletin board is definitely there.

"Hahahaha... I'm going out, I'm going out... and you, Bette... are you leaving now or...?"

I have to admit, I wasn't aware of any of the conversation... engrossed as I was in corroborating Kit's words about how pretty she looked... I love it when she wears her hair down! ... At that moment, my eyes slid towards her waist... Mmmmm... Shit! ... here we go again! ... This guy can turn up even in soup! !….yes, yes…it may have been perfect, but it was inopportune for a while.

“Tina…we’re late…if you don’t hurry, we’ll arrive just in time to park…”

“Where are you going? If I may ask…”

There, there…Kit asks, asks

“We’re going to dinner and then to the theater…later…who knows…hehehe”

Ugh…don’t even think about asking, Kit, just thinking about it makes me sick.

“Okay, Kit, this is it…you can file it when you can…see you later.”

* * * * * * * * * *

That's right, every time there was a chance to get close to Tina, Eric always appeared... I thought the bastard smelled it... so as soon as I had the slightest chance, I would rush off to wherever it was, no matter where, just so I wouldn't have to endure the constant cuddles, caresses, and affectionate words he constantly showered on Tina...

How fucking annoying! I'm probably stupid... but it was beyond my strength... the moment I saw them, I felt like dying... I suppose that somewhat escapist attitude made Tina start to think I had something against her or something... poor thing! She would have been flabbergasted if she'd known the real reason for my behavior.

"So it's true that you don't have a boyfriend?"

"Eva, don't be a pain... he's already said no to you."

"But what?" What was your boyfriend's name... and what was he like?... and why did you break up?‖

"Okay, Bette... tell us, tell us... we want to know about you."

6 – 3 When I said this was headed for a landslide...

"Well, I see you're interested... although some more than others, eh!"

6 – 4 Let it not be said that I didn't try to remedy the situation.

"Don't shirk, Bette... and answer!... you're playing hard to get."

"His name was Bobby, and we broke up because I realized I didn't love him, and the worst thing I could do was continue that relationship."

"And what was he like?"

"You didn't say you weren't interested in Shane?... well, why wouldn't you ask?"

"I say that "Since we're at it..."

"So they can talk about me later, like I'm a gossip, like..."

"Shut up, Kit, we don't understand."

"Oh, dear... Tina, you should see how grumpy you are today."

Needless to say, after the look Tina gave Kit, she didn't open her mouth again... even when she's grumpy, she's gorgeous!"

"Well, I don't know what to tell you... to give you an idea, she was, well, like Brad Pitt, but with a tan."

"Ahhh... God!..." I love Brad Pitt!.... I'm crazy about him!.... He drives me....‖

"Crazy?.... That's it, excuse me for saying this, Eva dear, you already are without needing to like him."

"Ignore it... I'm so jealous, Bette, he must be so handsome..."

"It depends."

"Eeeeeeeeeee?"

"I don't know, I think George Clooney is much more handsome."

"Alexandra, George Clooney isn't bad, but he's more to the taste of women who are a little older, right?"

If Eva weren't unemployed at that moment, God only knows why.

"Well, to be honest, I think Brad Pitt is a little boring... he's very handsome... but he's boring."

"Shut up, Tina... you don't know. What you're saying... the other day I saw that movie he made with Angelina Jolie... the one where they're both spies."

"Come on, come on... you don't even remember the name of the movie... Mrs. and Mrs. Smith."

"Why would I lie to you, Shane? I was interested in him, not the movie... well, what I was getting at... he was gorgeous... don't you think Bette is?"

This was mine.

"Well, what do you want me to say? If I had to choose, I prefer Angelina Jolie, although she's not exactly my type. I like them more normal, not so exuberant.

Come on!

6 - 5 For the element of surprise

6 – 6 For the confession of my lesbianism

6 – 7 For the faces everyone made

From Alexandra, who remained unfazed except for a slight ironic smile that appeared on her lips, as if she had somehow expected it… Eva, who was almost choking on the croissant she had been thoroughly enjoying up until that moment… Shane, who wasn't surprised either; those of us on our sidewalk have radar… Kit, whose mouth was so wide open that it was almost dislocated permanently, not to mention the fact that she seemed on the verge of fainting… and Tina… Tina, well, in another world… staring blankly at the opposite wall, which was undoubtedly a true masterpiece… at least in her opinion… As I said at the beginning… I like the action… I like complicated comebacks… I like challenges...and of course...I LOVE TINA A LOT

I like complicated things... It's just my way of being.

It's incredible how easily one can sometimes go from being in the very depths of hell to being in the best of heavens and vice versa... you don't even need to believe in its existence or not... you just need to feel that whatever happens to you at a given moment can't be worse or better than it is... and I felt precisely that more than once that day.

To start, I'll say that the morning shift that day had been, quite literally, hell... I couldn't feel my legs! I hadn't even had time to drink my sacred ration of coffee... which I must confess, on the one hand, is a vice I have no intention of kicking... I suppose this will be enough for you to understand that once my shift was over, I had no time to head to the locker room like a bullet, change in a flash, and head as fast as I could for the exit...

During the journey, I was so focused on what I would do once I got home that I barely noticed the goodbye Kit gave me as I passed by her... on my part, a complete insult... on hers... one more reason for her to think I was a conceited snob... Hmm... no... not a good way to win allies. Time to approach Tina, I know... but just thinking about the bubble bath she was going to prepare for me as soon as I set foot in the house... Mmmm... How nice!...

Anyway... did I say I was physically and mentally exhausted?... I'll add in my defense that a few days later... once I'd rested and regained my mental agility, I made up for my... inexcusable oversight, according to Kit... by sending her a large, spring-like bouquet of flowers, accompanied by a box of the most exquisite chocolates... In my right mind, I'm a machine when it comes to courtesy and politeness... one of the few things I have to thank my mother for teaching me... she always was, and still is, a passionate fan of protocol and good manners.

Fortunately, Kit, despite what it may seem, is not a spiteful woman... and I don't say this just because of my rudeness that day... but because of the famous scene in the cafeteria, where more than one suffered some kind of mishap...

As for Eva, who until then had been a faithful croissant devourer, she suddenly stopped eating them... in fact, she would see one and turn all colors, preferably purple, almost as if she were choking...

Shane... well... Shane acted absolutely normal; as I've already told you, we're on the same team...

Alexandra... who at first seemed unfazed, but as soon as she regained her voice, she suffered a sudden attack of extreme stuttering, where simply saying a sentence could seem like an odyssey... "it's...it's...it's...it's...it's...it's...that...that...that...they...they...they...they...they...have...go...go...have...that...to...in short... "I have to go to the operating room" ...

Tina deserves a special mention. In less than three minutes, she got several bruises from all the blows she took...one when she uncrossed her legs to stand up and hit her shin on the table leg, another when she hit her thigh on the edge of a table as she hurried out of the cafeteria, another when, still recovering from the blow to her thigh, she hit her elbow on a boy's tray, whose food, by the way, ended up on the floor, and the last one...that I saw...when she crashed face first into the cafeteria door frame while walking half backwards trying to apologize as best she could to the boy with the tray...what I don't know is how she managed to get there I lived wherever she was... a few hours later when I saw her again, she had a "discreet" bump on her forehead... poor thing! I was about to send Kit to the other world, but Tina was almost sent straight to the ICU.

After that unexpected confession... two weeks ago... about my sexual preferences, it can be said that, except for those initial reactions, the behavior of my colleagues remained mostly the same as they had been up until then... which of course... I'm not going to lie to you... was a relief...

It's worth clarifying that when I blurted that out just like that, it wasn't because I wanted to attract attention or because I felt I had to give some kind of explanation about my life... no... I did it because I didn't want, under any circumstances, to go back to playing the same game I'd played for years... hide and seek... I wanted to be known for who I really was... without lies or false appearances... just being me... Bette, nothing more... feeling free to show what I liked or didn't like... And the truth is that after that moment in the cafeteria... I was able to do it.

I was immersed in those deep thoughts when suddenly I began to hear a series of curses and lamentations that brought me back to the reality of my surroundings... I was in the parking lot designated for hospital employees, where that same morning, contrary to how I usually did, I had decided to park my motorcycle... just a few meters in front of me was This...to one side, at a safer distance, was a woman pacing back and forth, sometimes raising her arms to the sky and other times kicking the car next to her...it took me a few seconds to recognize her because her back was to me...when she cursed loudly again, I had no doubt who it was...Tina...

For a few seconds I contemplated her from the safety provided by the distance that separated us and the fact that she hadn't even noticed my presence there... she was furious, there was no doubt about that... which surprised me... in those almost three months I had been in the hospital, I had never seen her like that... she certainly had a temper... and what a temper!... but above all, she was sweet, affectionate, attentive, friendly... okay... stop... I'm starting and I'm not finishing... what I was getting at... she had all those things that, far from helping me forget about her, made me fall more and more in love with her with every minute I spent by her side... so seeing her in that situation was, to say the least... surprising...

My curiosity piqued, and against my common sense and the fear that at any moment the... odious Eric could appear... let's be clear... I hated him almost as deeply as I loved... Tina... I headed over to where she was, keeping my eyes fixed on her... after all, the show was superb.

Once I got there, I stopped just two meters away from Tina, hoping she would see me… she didn't… she was still engrossed in her cursing and kicking, at that moment, at the wheel of her car… With a smile, I leaned against the car behind me and waited patiently for her to notice me sooner or later… You may be thinking… what a bitch!… What do you want?… She was… beautiful is an understatement… no… she was… terribly sexyyyyy!… With her hair all disheveled, her eyes burning, biting her lips in a clear attempt to control herself, and with her hands resting on her hips in a defiant attitude… almost, almost as if someone had spared your life… Agggg… How I loved seeing her like that!… I was in heaven…

Suddenly, unable to contain herself any longer, she kicked again. The wheel, so unlucky that it hit the wrong side of the wheel and hurt her foot... I immediately sat up from where I was leaning.

"Are you okay?"

She instantly raised her head, looked at me with surprise reflected in her beautiful honey-colored eyes... She lowered her head and uttered something unintelligible to my ears... After a few seconds, when I was beginning to think my presence was unwelcome, she looked back at me with a deep scarlet blush staining her cheeks.

"How long have you been there?"

"Not very long."

I didn't want to upset her or make her think I'd been laughing at her.

"Have you hurt yourself?"

"No."

"..."

"She was terrible at lying.

"Well..."

"..."

"A little..."

"Can I help you?"

"…………"

"I'm not exactly a car expert, but I know something—a little, but something."

"……."

"Please…let me help you."

"…….I don't know what's wrong with it. It refuses to start. I've been trying to get it to start for half an hour, but it just won't start. It's…it's…"

"Calm down…it could be the battery…maybe a loose wire…I don't know…anything…will you open the hood for me?"

Once it was open, I leaned over the car, looking for any signs that might indicate what might be wrong.

"Do you see anything?"

I was about to hit my head on the hood when, as I turned to answer her, expecting to find her behind me, I found her face just a few centimeters from mine… a simple, slight movement would have been enough to join my lips with hers… I immediately moved away, suddenly tempted to give in to my most fervent desires… I positioned myself on the opposite side of where she was and pretended to focus my attention back on the car… although the truth is that at that precise moment there was only one thought in my head…I want to kiss her, I need to kiss her, I'm dying to kiss her, I wish I could kiss her… definitely nothing to do with the car.

"Uhhhh… the truth is, I can't see anything at first glance…"

"Nothing?"

"Nothing serious… no loose wires, and it doesn't seem to be a battery problem either."

"So, what's wrong? Why won't it start?"

"Maybe it's a problem with the electrical system, or maybe the starter motor… I'm not sure…"

"So?"

"Well, it seems to me that our friend here can't escape visiting the mechanic's shop."

I have no idea what word or words triggered it... but to my astonishment, Tina began to cry with genuine grief... I was so perplexed that for a few seconds, which seemed like years, I didn't know what to do or say... why was she crying? What the hell had she said or done? I had suddenly and without warning descended into hell itself... into the darkest and most sinister corner of this...

"Tina..."

She looked at me with eyes brimming with tears... my heart broke... when I finally understood what was happening, I made a first attempt to approach her... she turned her back on me in a desperate attempt to hide her tears and silently tell me to leave her... I stopped... For a few seconds, I hesitated... I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable because I wasn't respecting her privacy... I finally decided to close the distance between us and position myself right in front of her, just a few inches away.

"Tina..."

I raised my hand, trying to control its trembling, until I placed it under her chin... gently, but at the same time firmly... I lifted her face and once again found myself staring at the one thing I felt I'd probably never be ready to face in my life…her tears.

"Tina…don't cry…please…don't cry."

Again she tried to hide her tears from me by turning her face to the side while squeezing her eyes shut, as if that would stop her tears…once again I ignored her silent plea to leave her alone…She could ask me for anything, anything, life itself if she wanted…and I would give it to her without question or explanation, but that…leaving her immersed in those tears…never…ever.

"Tina…look at me…look at me, please."

"Bette…"

I don't know if I was the first to take the step, if it was her, or if on the contrary, it was both of us who jointly decided to do it... I only know that once I managed to get Tina to look me in the eyes, I couldn't take it anymore... I moved even closer to her, placed my hands on her waist and slowly slid them down her back and hugged her with all my strength, not caring about the devastating effect it would have on me... not caring that my feelings for her were exposed... not caring about anything, absolutely nothing... except making Tina feel safe and protected... yes... I hugged her with my arms, with my heart and with my soul... all of them at her complete disposal... to do with them whatever she wanted...

She not only accepted it, but she clung to me as if her life depended on it. I have no idea how long we stayed like that... When I began to feel that her crying was starting to subside slightly...I brought my lips to her hair and kissed it.

"Tina... honey... if it's about the car... believe me... no."

He held on to me tighter, leaving me almost breathless, as if trying to keep me from escaping... as if I had wanted to! He shook his head, which he had hidden in the crook of my neck, forcefully in a clear gesture of denial.

"It's not the car, Bette... it's not the car... I... I..."

He buried his head even deeper in my neck, making me painfully aware of the tears that were falling on it.

"Shhhhh... don't say anything... I don't want you to explain anything to me if you don't want to... I just ask that you don't cry anymore... I don't want to see you cry... I can't stand it."

Of course I wanted to know why she was crying! I wanted with all my might to know the cause of that crying. crying... I wanted to know... to annihilate him, kill him, exterminate him, wipe him off the face of the earth... but above all, I wanted the tears to stop flowing from his eyes.

"Bette..."

She pulled away slightly, still holding me... she stared at me for a few long, yet very brief moments... she lowered her head, resting it on my chin.

"I'm sorry, Bette... I didn't mean for it to..."

"Don't say that... I don't want you to apologize to me."

"You must think I'm a little crazy... first you see me cursing and kicking this stupid car, and then I start crying hysterically."

"Tina, I can think a lot of things about you, but never, never... listen to me... that you're crazy."

I kissed her forehead, feeling that with that gesture, my feelings for Tina were so raw that anyone who saw me would immediately know, without even knowing me, who my entire life belonged to.

"Besides... if you're really crazy... let me tell you, you're a damned attractive and sexy crazy woman when you're cursing and kicking. Cars…Mmmmm…yes, yes…very attractive and very sexy."

"Hahahaha…yes?...really?"

I love her laugh…I love the way her eyes laugh with it, even though they still bear the mark those damn tears left on them…I love the way a light touch, a shy smile, a brief glance from her makes me feel like the gates of heaven are open just for me.

"Yes…although of course if someone asks me…I'll flatly deny ever having said such a thing."

"Hahahaha…Can you do it?"

"You have no idea what I'm capable of!"

"You're so mean! I'll tell everyone what you said, and they'll believe me."

"You think so? It's your word against mine... and I remind you that, according to your own words, you're crazy."

"Hahaha... and you're a bitch."

"Yeah... you see, one more charm to add to my personality... besides, this bitch is the one who's going to take you home right now."

"I can't, Bette."

"What do you mean you can't?"

"It's just... and the car, what do I do with it?"

"Look, there's nothing you can do right now... the car won't start... it's almost nine at night... if you call a tow truck now, it'll probably take almost an hour or even longer to arrive... I imagine that since you had the same shift as me and knowing how this one went, you're just as tired... Uhmmm? I bet you anything you don't feel like staying here waiting for the tow truck... especially now... so let's not talk about it anymore... I'll take you home."

"But I can't leave it here!"

"Why not? It's in the employee parking lot. There's a security guard at the entrance. I don't think anything's going to happen to it... Tomorrow, you can calmly call a tow truck to take it to the garage... Do you work tomorrow?"

"No, but..."

"Me neither, so if you want, I can drop you off here in a moment. We'll wait for them to come get the car and take you back home."

"That's too much, Bette."

"If I didn't want to do it, I wouldn't have said anything, Tina."

"…….."

"Shall we go?"

"Give me a moment to grab my things……"

It was then, when I felt the emptiness her body left in my arms when she pulled away, that I realized we'd been holding each other all this time.

"That's it!"

"Do you have everything?.....Okay...come on...wait...better this way...I have the motorcycle over here."

"The motorcycle?"

If Tina's eyes have anything, besides that incredible honey color, it's their tremendous expressiveness... if for some reason she lost her speech, it wouldn't matter in the least... her eyes would say it all... just like they were saying it at that moment... I'm joking, right?... you're crazy!... no way am I getting in there!

"I didn't feel like bringing the car today, so..."

"Bette... I'm not getting in there..."

"Tina... nothing's going to happen... I'll go slowly, very slowly... I promise."

"I don't know..."

"Tina..."

"Promise me?"

"I promise... if I lie, I'll be struck by lightning right now."

You won't believe it... I'd barely finished saying this when the sound of a tremendous lightning bolt rang out... I can't deny it... I was a little scared... Although the truth is, it wasn't a surprise... it had been incredibly hot all day, actually more than hot, muggy, but somehow the sky had been stubborn in its determination not to release even a single drop of water to help cool the air... until that moment, when it was more than willing, it was eager to do so... Both Tina and I quickened our pace... when we arrived, I grabbed the helmet I had kept in my briefcase and held it out for her to put on.

"Remember what you promised me, okay!"

"I'm glad to see you trust me so much... come on, come here. If you keep going like this, all you'll do is choke yourself with your helmet strap."

She approached me. I placed my helmet on the seat of the motorcycle and tried to fasten hers... I was in the middle of doing so when I felt her place her hands on top of mine, caressing them very lightly, almost imperceptibly.

"Thanks, Bette."

I looked into her eyes... and, immersing myself fully in that sea of ​​exquisite honey, I felt myself rising another step... I was going straight to seventh heaven... I could almost touch it with my fingertips... I don't know if I imagined it or not, but for a moment I had the feeling I had leaned slightly with the intention of kissing her... until... A car horn burst onto the scene... I did my best to fasten her helmet and put on mine, taking longer than usual. My hands were shaking. I sat down, started the bike, and waited for Tina to get behind me.

I had promised Tina I wouldn't run... and I was going to keep my promise... among other things because if I had run, it would have shortened all that time I felt Tina wrapped around my waist, holding me with almost superhuman strength, pressing her chest to my back and pressing her thighs against mine... I wasn't willing to give up on that just like that... even if I was short of breath, even if I felt my body igniting with passion and desire... not even to regain some of the sanity that that contact was stealing from me... no, no... I wasn't going to run... because if I had, I would have needed each and every one of my senses focused on the road... and I wanted to feel, absorb, and To hold on, to all the sensations that each and every one of Tina's movements, pressed against me, fused to me, produced in me... no... I didn't run... I didn't dodge cars, or pull little tricks, or take shortcuts... but even so, sooner than I would have liked, we arrived at her house.

Once we stopped, I took off my helmet... this time I didn't make the slightest attempt to help her take hers off... one has to accept when one is ready to do something... and I wasn't... at least not without risking giving myself away.

"Ufffff... My legs are shaking."

"Yeah?... well, you can't say I wasn't good. I kept my promise... and then you can say I'm a bitch."

"That's true... the truth is, you're not that bad... at least... not always."

"Wow... and I thought you were starting to look at me favorably..."

"And who tells you that I didn't do it already?"

I have to admit... it was the first time in my life I didn't have an answer for something and I was blushing all the way to the tips of my ears... I was greatly comforted that Tina blushed as much as I did, if not more.

"Uhhhh... I think it's time I went, before it starts raining... plus I have to make dinner."

"Sorry, you're right... it's late and I'm here chatting... sorry, I'm not that..."

"Tina... if I have to chat with someone, I'd definitely rather be with you a thousand times over... it's just that I don't like riding my motorcycle in the rain, and I have the feeling that it's going to rain soon."

"If that's what it seems like... well, in that case... I'll excuse you."

"Oh... thank you for granting me such a privilege... hehehe."

Just one thing... I love her with all my strength... and if it weren't for the fact that I lacked the courage with her that I always had with others... I didn't want to lose the little bit of her I had... I would have kissed her right then and there until one of us passed out from lack of oxygen.

"Call me tomorrow, okay?... about the tow truck."

"I can't do that, that would be pushing you too hard."

"Okay... then I'll call you, instead?"

"You're so stubborn, Bette!"

"A little... but the worst part is that I love being abused... I'll call you tomorrow."

Just at that moment, the sky decided it had had enough of being so stingy and stubborn... a light rain began to slide and leave its mark on the city streets, thus taking away any chance Tina could reply... I began to put on my helmet while signaling to her that I wouldn't leave until I saw her enter the entrance... She sighed resignedly... and headed for the door... a few seconds after standing in front of the door... she turned to me and approached.

"Why don't you come up with me?"