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They had been together for five months now. It’d been the best period of their lives. It was difficult, no doubt. All secret relationships are challenging, but they are worth more than they ever thought they would be.
Nao, you see, he was just an average boy, or so you thought. Most people merely saw a handsome young man. His muscles toned, his hair falling loosely in his face. Once you got to know him, however, he was much more than simply a young man.
When he was a baby, he inherited a very special quality from his now-deceased mother. He may possess the qualities of certain plants. His major feature is that of a hydrangea. If he passed out, fainted, or was near death, the reactions caused by being underwater could save him.
Souta wasn’t so ordinary either. He was the crown prince of Negin. A regular at court. Everyone loved him, adored him even. He was smart, amazing at any game or puzzle presented to him, and kind to every stranger and friend who passed.
Only one thing about him annoyed his mom and dad. And it was the most important thing. He’d never dated anyone. At least that’s what they thought. You see, in Negin, people expected the crown prince or princess to have a suitor by age 18. It had always been this way. It was like this for Souta’s parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents. They’d always done it like that.
When Nao and Souta first started dating, it was confusing for both of them. They always wanted to hang out with one another, explore together, and do everything together. But Souta was a royal- he had responsibilities in court to uphold, a reputation he had to keep. Nao was just a villager, an average boy in town. They weren’t supposed to work out together. How they did, even they weren’t sure.
Additionally, Negin’s community imposed traditions on everyone. Just to start, you were supposed to have a suitor by 18, it was frowned upon if you were in a queer relationship, your parents would almost always arrange your marriage, and when you were 20, you would also have a “Coming of Age Ceremony”.
This coming-of-age ceremony was in five months for Souta. One slight problem, however, he was expected to bring his suitor with him. It was known to the public, and his family, that he had that someone, but no one knew who, and he wasn’t planning on telling them. He wanted to bring Nao, to be truthful with his people, but he also knew how frowned upon it would be for him to bring another boy as his suitor to his ceremony.
Nao wished, not just to go as his suitor, but simply to go. He was only a villager and Souta was the crown prince however and he wouldn’t be allowed. This event was strictly for the royal family, the prince’s suitor and anyone the prince or his parents invited personally. His parents didn’t know him, and Souta…well, it was complicated.
***
Nao and Souta were walking down a trail hand in hand when suddenly Nao stopped dead in his tracks and turned to Souta, letting go of his hand, a glimmer of mischievousness in his eyes.
“Follow me- I know a place.”
He grabbed Souta’s hand again and ran off into the woods, the squirrels and deer skittering away from their wake. They ran for at least three minutes before Nao started to slow down. When he did, there was an immaculate clearing in front of them. A pond provided a serene and perfect reflection of their surroundings. Nao watched Souta staring at the view, his face painting a look of pure astonishment and enthralment.
“You like it?” He asked Souta, already knowing the answer.
“It’s… it’s…gorgeous. I- how did you even find this?”
Nao just shrugged softly, “I’ve got more free time than I know what to do with. I’ve been nearly everywhere this place has to offer.”
“Makes sense…”
Souta turned and looked into Nao’s eyes. His deep brown irises drew him in, his thick eyelashes giving his expression a genuine and adorable look.
Laying down in the soft grass, Nao stared at the thick canopy of tree leaves above them. Souta stared at Nao. Their breathing was still slightly heavy and forced from the sprint to their location.
Nao lay there next to Souta for a few minutes, their hands interlaced in each other, the most peace they’ve had in a long while.
“Hey, wanna swim in the creek?”
Nao looked at Souta, baffled that he would suggest that, given what his evening would entail.
“Wha- but… don’t you have to go to that event tonight? Your parents would probably be pissed if you had your hair messed up right before it.”
Souta just smiled at Nao, that goofy grin he always had.
“It’ll be ok, I’m sure they’ll understand… I can just say that I had gone for a run, gotten hot, and decided to swim in the creek.”
Nao just giggled softly as he gazed into Souta’s eyes. God, I’m so in love with this man.
“Then I suppose nothing is stopping us, is there?”
Nao helped Souta up to his feet and then pulled him towards the water, eager to swim.
They both dived into the water. The cool feeling surrounded them as they both submerged themselves underneath.
They both come up to breathe after a few seconds, gazing into each other’s eyes with a need for excitement and action.
Souta pulls Nao closer to him, their bodies dangerously close, but not touching, as they submerge under the water again. Souta and Nao’s bodies are this close, under the water; naturally, they get even closer. Their bodies inching ever so slightly closer as Nao presses a
gentle kiss to Souta’s lips. A simple yet loving kiss, what he always did.
The two boys come back up from underwater and continue to swim around. Doing laps for a few minutes, treading water and talking, more laps, chasing each other, horse playing, the cycle continues.
As they get out and dry off, Souta looks at Nao, who is completely distracted by his hair.
“You good? Your hair looks adorable to me.”
He walks over and ruffles Nao’s hands with his fingers, chuckling softly at the adorably annoyed Nao looking up at him.
After they’ve dried off, they start walking back towards the village, leaving behind this gorgeous clearing that Nao had brought the two of them to.
They’re easily two hundred feet from the border of the woods when Nao suddenly gets wild hair.
Letting go of Soutas hand, he runs into the village and up to a merchant.
“Can I get two samples of that tuna slider please?”
The man behind the merchant cart reaches for a small container and pulls out two things wrapped up, what Nao can only assume are the sliders.
“Thank you, sir!”
He walks back to Souta with the two sliders in his hands, a giddy smile on his face.
“Here I got us a little snack.”
Souta chuckles softly, taking a slider from him.
“Thank you…”
The two of them finish their sliders and then walk down Main Street. Occasionally stopping at different street vendors, going into different tourist shops. If Souta had not been recognized by everyone they passed you would think they were tourists from a completely different court.
They find a little bookstore on the corner of Main Street and Souta drags Nao in, eager to look at the books.
“Do you think they have a good collection of classic lit? Or maybe some contemporary?! Ooh, what about fantasy books!”
Nao smiles and watches Souta ramble on about all of the different books he wants to look at.
The two boys peruse through the library, checking out the contemporary YA section, the fantasy sections, the horror novels, as well as several other famous novels.
Nearly an hour passes before they finally leave, and even still they only left because the library was closing.
“Here follow me, I wanna show you something.”
Souta grabs Nao’s hand and pulls him down a side road, leading him through a backcountry road for a few minutes before the road widens and they find themselves in front of a field.
“Oh my gods this… this is stunning… wow…”
Souta smiles softly,
“I used to come here when I was younger and run around in the fields all day. It’s one of my favorite places.”
Nao stares at the field for a few seconds, swaying slightly as his eyes scan the vast array of flowers.
Still letting his eyes wander around, a small smirk appears on his face.
“Then why don’t we do that?”
“Do what?”
“Run in the fields.”
“Hmm…I suppose it would be fun, especially since I get to do it with you.”
Souta presses a soft kiss to Nso’s cheek after saying this.
That’s all it takes for Nao to be convinced. He grabs Soutas hand and pulls him into the long rows of flowers.
For the next fifteen minutes, the sound around them is filled with giddy laughter and giggles. The two boys run in and out of the flowers, chasing each other from end to end.
Souta stops running, out of breath from running in the heat for so long, but Nao continues staggering along in crazy directions, not aware that Souta stopped.
He keeps running and running, still weaving through fields of flowers. After a short thirty seconds, however, he feels his vision getting blurry. Nao’s head is foggy, his breathing hard. Slowing down a bit to catch a breath he finally turns around to notice that Souta isn’t following him.
“Souta! Cmon!”
He yells back to him, wanting to continue.
His stance wavers a bit, swaying back and forth as he walks back to Souta. Nearly twenty feet, he can’t continue anymore, collapsing to the ground as his vision goes black.
All he sees is Souta standing over him, trying to gain his attention. He heard him talking, but what he’s saying, there’s no way to find out.
His vision continues to go out as Souta tries desperately to keep him awake, after a few seconds, his vision goes black. He can’t hear or see anything anymore, then, unconsciousness.
“Nao! No! Come back, please! No!”
Souta desperately tries to get his boyfriend to wake up, doing anything he can think of. After a few seconds, he remembers the trait from his father he’d acquired as a baby.
Souta takes up Nao in his arms, his limp body resting on his chest as he runs through the field of flowers, trying to get back to the town.
“Please wake up…please wake up”
Souta runs into town on Main Street, Nao still in his arms, and passes the library, and all the street vendors and gift shops they’d been to. He keeps running until he finally gets to the Main Street fountain.
It’s a beautiful sight. Multiple layers of a cool grey stone with water cascading down the edges. At the top, the water sprays toward the sky in a beautiful pattern, and lights within the fountain make it into different colors for added beauty. It is huge, at least fifteen feet in diameter at the base, four tiers high.
He runs over to the fountain, kneeling. Souta lays Nao inside the fountain, and the water flows over his body.
“Please…please…I can’t lose you Nao. Not now.”
He mutters quietly to himself, begging the gods to let his boyfriend live.
Souta continues to splash water over Nao, doing anything he can to make him wake up, to see a breath, a stir of motion. Nothing happens, however, no matter what he does, or how hard he tries, he can’t get him to wake up again.
“Five minutes, no pulse…he’s gone.”
Looking behind himself, Souta finds his brother standing there, the only person in the royal family who knew they were dating.
“I…what do I do?”
Souta stood up and hugged his brother, tears welling up in his eyes as it finally occurred to him what had happened.
“It’s gonna be ok. I promise”
Letting go, he leans back down to Nao, picking him up.
The two brothers walk towards the townhouse they stayed in when not in the official house.
Called the House of Commons. It was a private family residence, one very few outsiders knew of.
***
Sitting next to his parents, Souta scans the crowd.
Other royals, members of the court, villagers that decided to show, and….Naos family.
Eh-why are they here?
Souta thinks to himself, watching Nao’s sister Emi dance with a young man she found somewhere.
They never show up to these things…not unless…
“Not unless Nao is here.”
Nao’s father says, standing beside Souta. A solemn, knowing look on his face.
“Souta…I’m sorry…”
That is all his father said, still looking forward.
“No, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have let this happen to your son. I didn’t realize what was going on, I thought…”
He trails off, lost in thought.
“Excuse me, I need to attend to something real quick.”
Standing up, Souta walks to the table where his mother and father are sitting.
“Excuse me…can I talk to you? Privately?”
His parents looked up at him, skeptical and confused at why their son had approached them in such an odd manner and situation.
“Yes?…”
“Please? It’s important.”
His parents look at each other, silently determining what to do.
The two of them stand up, summoning their son to follow them into a closed-off room.
“Ok, now what do you need?”
Souta looks between his parents, his heart thumping so loud it might as well jump out and be its person.
“Mom…dad…I’m uhm, I’m gay…”
Several seconds pass, and neither of them says anything as they just stare at their son.
“I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought this up tonight, this was a mistake.”
He turns around, going to leave and return to the crowd when his father grabs his wrist.
“Wait.”
He faces his parents again, prepared for the worst.
“I’m proud of you son…”
He smiles softly, hugging both his parents and returning to the crowd.
Mingling for another hour or so, he dances with some friends, talks to some others, and observes the crowds.
As he’s walking through the crowd to get another drink, he hears the clinking of a knife against a champagne glass. He turns, looking to see who it is, and finds his father standing at the front of the room, summoning him to join him and his mother.
Souta leaves his group of friends he’d been with and joins his family.
His mother stands to his right, his brother to his left, and his father to the left of his brother.
“Ahem…”
He continues gazing forward as the crowd in front of him goes quiet at the sound of his father’s voice.
“As I’m sure all of you are aware, Crown Prince Ueshima Souta will be turning 20 very soon. We have all gathered here, family, friends, and many other acquaintances to celebrate this occasion.”
He pauses briefly, looking at Souta with the same smile he had when he helped mend the relationship between Negin and Rylonias. Fatherly love.
Souta finally realizes he wants him to speak and refocuses himself.
“Uhm…I’d like to thank everyone for showing up tonight. It means the world to be able to spend such an important day of my future and the future of Negin with all of you.”
“As you know... it is generally expected that at an event of this sort, one would...have a suitor. Someone they are dating, married to, or anything of that manner.”
Souta pauses for a second and looks over at his brother.
“I…I had a suitor. His name was Iseya Nao…”
A few murmurs can be heard from the crowd when the name he gives is the name of a man. He does his best to ignore them, however, and carries on.
“He…he uhm,” Souta pauses, wiping a tear away from his eye.
“He died this morning…from heat exhaustion and other things.”
“So...I had a suitor, I had a boyfriend.”
More murmurs.
“But…now I don’t. I’m sorry I broke the tradition...but, I didn’t mean to.”
His mother gently pats his back and he walks into a back hall. Avoiding the crowd and their murmurs as he walks to his bedroom, needing a break from everything that had happened that day, a break from life.
He’s sitting on his bed, eyes closed as he tries to clear his head. He stays there for a few minutes more, drifting off to sleep despite the early hour.
***
Souta’s eyes fluttered open. He couldn’t sleep for longer than three hours. Why? He had no idea. He’d taken melatonin and tried reading, but none of it was working. So there he was. Lying in his bed. His arms were down next to him and his blanket was up to his chin. Awake.
Before he’s even realized what’s happened. He’s slipping on his van and walking towards the door. Not caring that it’s three AM. Or that his parents would probably hear him opening and closing his door. He needed to be outside. Now. to be with nature. And the stars, just him and the frogs. Listening. Being. Living. Something that he had always been better at doing alone.
Souta opened the door and walked outside. He heard the dog, Taro, trotting up to him.
“Hey, bud.”
Souta said quietly and scratched Taro’s head. He was a Shiba Inu. A small little guy, and Soutas best friend. Standing up again, he kept walking. This time with Taro following closely behind.
He kept walking until he couldn’t see the lights anymore. Till his vision went no farther than his hand reached out in front of him. He sat down in the grassy field. Feeling the flowers being crushed under his weight as his body pressed against the cold hard earth.
He closed his eyes and stayed there for a few minutes. Letting the smell and sounds of nature envelope him. He listened to the frogs croaking, the owls hooting and the birds chirping. Smelt the soil underneath him, the fragrant flowers budding out of the soil. The salt of the sea is only a few hundred paces away. He embraced it all. Let it take over all of his senses, all he knew. He gave it entirely to the night. He became one with nature and nighttime. Allowed himself to forget his name. Where he was. Where he’d been. Everything that had happened that day. He let it all melt away. Clearing his body and mind of all his thoughts, problems, and curiosities. He let it all go and just existed. He just sat there, the flowers under his thighs pressing onto his skin and leaving marks. The bugs crawled in and out of the ground climbing on his hands. He embraced every bit of it.
Souta continued to sit there for hours more, staying until the sunrise tinted his eyelids and the birds sang the morning song. He opened his eyes and looked around him, taking in his surroundings. He saw the ocean he’d smelt. Observed the plants and flowers he’d felt. Watched the birds in the trees that he’d heard.
Then he looked east- and saw the sunrise. The sight of such a gorgeous thing completely enthralled him. The way the oranges pinks and yellows blended and created a gorgeously shaded ombré. The ocean directly under it made the sight even more striking. As he looked at it he could imagine the painting already; “The Morning After.”
He continued to watch the sunrise until it had nearly risen completely. As he turned around to walk home he let out a long sigh he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.
Walking into the palace doors he sneaks through the back and goes to his bedroom. Souta lets himself fall into his bed as he stares at his ceiling. A ceiling full of stars. He and Nao both had them on their ceilings. A way to remember each other when they weren’t near, and right now, all he wanted was for Nao to be near. He knew that wouldn’t ever happen though, because he’d died. Died because Souta had been too carefree. Hadn’t considered that just because he was fine maybe Nao wasn’t. Died because he didn’t just slow down and think for once. Something his brother had always told him to do,
“Souta just slow down, think for once and you might get it right.”
He heard his brother’s voice repeating the same phrase over and over in his head. He heard Naos laugh. That laugh was something no one else ever saw. To everyone else, Nao was this quiet kid who hated everyone and everyone hated him. To Souta however, Nao had been a curious, kind, loving person. You just had to earn his trust, his friendship. But that was all gone….
He heard a knock on his door and his eyes shot open.
“Yes?”
On the other side, he heard his brother's voice,
“You gonna come eat?”
He sighed and sat up, stretching his arms a bit.
“Yeah, I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
He listened for a few more seconds until he was sure his brother had walked off and turned, shoving his face in his pillow, and sobbing. He sobbed until he had no more tears to cry and his pillow was soaked from his tears. And only when his breath had steadied and the tears had stopped did he consider getting dressed.
After he’d put on his clean clothes and slipped his shoes on he opened the creaky door to his bedroom and quietly walked down the hallway. His footsteps are not making a sound.
He quietly walked into the private breakfast hall and sat in the same seat he always sat in. Within seconds a platter of food appeared in front of him. It consisted of sausages, cheese, eggs, and fruits. On the side, he had a glass of orange juice as well. One of his favorite breakfasts. He ate his food quietly, watching his family members around him argue about whatever random topic managed to get brought up today. This time, it was the different music types that the street musicians played. His brother claimed that he liked the variety of music because he could be well acquainted with what people hear around the world without ever leaving town. His father however felt that each type of music that was played needed to at least have a section of the town or time of day to play because you could be listening to one musician but if another got louder then you wouldn’t be able to hear them as well.
“I enjoy the eclectic atmosphere that having many different musicians provides. It gives the city a lively feeling that I doubt we’d have without it. It keeps the people happy and outside, and hasn’t that always been our goal? To make sure they were content to stay here?”
Everyone at the table looked at him as soon as he spoke. He could see in the expressions that they had no idea he was going to talk, they probably didn’t even know he was here, but that’s ok.
“I think he’s got a good point.”
That voice was his sister's. Immediately after she spoke they erupted back into a lively and briskly moving conversation. Souta just chuckled and watched, he loved his family so much.