Work Text:
twitter.com
jisung @sungsung
𝘩-𝘩𝘪 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦… 𝘦𝘳𝘮 𝘐’𝘮 𝘳-𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘶𝘮… 𝘴𝘩𝘺… 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦’𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦.. 🥺🍼🌹✨
↳ Minho @lino
𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚.
↳ seungmin @minnie
what the fuck is wrong with you
kim seungmin → hwang hyunjin, lee minho
min2: minho, what the fuck is wrong with you
min1: Had to say it twice?
min2: i don’t feel like once was enough to adequately express my feelings
min2: do you even know the guy you responded to??
notmin: wait i think i’m behind
notmin: what’s happening
min2: go check minho’s twitter
notmin: oh god okay
min2: prepare yourself
min2: … hyunjin?
notmin: ok so i was not prepared.
notmin: minho, what the fuck is wrong with u
notmin: is that a stranger????
min1: I think our souls are intertwined
min2: …right
min1: And his other tweets are about how he’s transferring here
min1: He’s scared
min1: I’m being chivalrous
min2: no you’re being insane
min1: On Twitter, Hyunjin follows someone called Felix, who follows the account of the guy who posted
min1: I found his Instagram
min1: His name is Jisung
min2: man what the hell
notmin: i think felix has mentioned him before actually
min1: Hyunjin, who is Felix?
notmin: bro is a detective
notmin: he was in an art class with me last year
min1: Ok
notmin: ominous ass message
min2: also hyunjin i feel like we're ignoring how weird the other guy's tweet was
min2: like the baby bottle?? hello?
min1: Watch it.
min2: got damn okay
bang chan → han jisung, lee felix
channie: Jisung, did you see that weird response to your tweet?
sungie: YEAH OMG
sungie: like wtf??
channie: I know.
channie: It’s so offputting
sungie: ITS SO CUTE 😍
channie: Cute??
sungie: yeah he’s being all protective and stuff??
sungie: that’s so attractive omg
channie: It doesn’t make you uncomfortable?
lixie: I JUST SAW THE TWEET OMG WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!
lixie: THATS INSANE??
channie: YES finally
channie: Thank you for being reasonable, Felix
lixie: ITS SO SWEET??
lixie: I WANT A MAN LIKE THAT
channie: Oh
channie: Never mind
sungie: found his insta
sungie: and oh my LORD
sungie: #needthat
kim seungmin → hwang hyunjin, lee minho
notmin: minho i hope u aren’t harassing felix
notmin: he’s really cool i don’t want to scare him away
min1: Not harassing
min1: I’m walking Jisung to class tomorrow
min2: you ALREADY talked to him??
min1: ,,,
min2: minho. what did you do.
notmin: . does jisung know that ur walking him to class
min1: It will be a pleasant surprise.
min1: I have to go now. Homework.
notmin: homework my ass
min2: NO WHAT
min2: YOURE GOING TO SHOW UP AT THIS MANS DOOR UNANNOUNCED????
min2: YOURE SUCH A CREEP
min2: HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHERE HE LIVES
min2: OR HIS SCHEDULE??
notmin: did felix just give it to u without knowing who u are??
min2: minho come back here right now
min2: the semester hasn’t even started you literally can’t have homework yet
notmin: minho’s gonna go to jail for stalking. incredibly unfortunate turn of events
min2: nah i don’t mind getting rid of him
notmin: it was nice knowing him
notmin: actually no it wasn’t. he’s such a dick
han jisung → bang chan, lee felix
hannie: GUYS
hannie: HE SHOWED UP AT MY HOUSE THIS MORNING
hannie: TO WALK ME TO CLASS
channie: Oh my god what
channie: Have you called the police yet?
channie: I’m on my way
lixie: THATS SO HOT
sungie: I KNOWWWW
channie: Oh
channie: Never mind
sungie: AND HE WAITED OUTSIDE OF MY FIRST CLASS TO WALK ME TO MY NEXT ONE TOO
sungie: he held ALL of the doors
sungie: and carried my backpack
sungie: and lifted me over a puddle
channie: Aw. That’s kind of cute, actually.
sungie: and bit someone who accidentally bumped into me
lixie: AWWWW
channie: BIT?
channie: AS IN TEETH?
sungie: YEAH!!
sungie: it was so sweet
sungie: he’s such a cutie pie
hwang hyunjin → kim seungmin, lee minho
notmin: minho hasn’t updated us so i can only assume that he’s been arrested
min1: We’re getting lunch
min2: he didn’t run screaming??
min1: He likes me
notmin: u are lying thru ur teeth rn
hwang hyunjin → lee felix
hyunjin: hey felix!
hyunjin: ur friends with jisung, right?
hyunjin: the transfer student?
felix: yes!!
hyunjin: cool cool
hyunjin: i’m friends with lee minho
felix: oh yes he messaged me last night!!!!!!!!
hyunjin: yeah lol
hyunjin: i know that his behavior is a little… offputting
hyunjin: he’s not normally like this honestly idk why he’s acting this way
hyunjin: i take it back. that is a lie
hyunjin: this bullshit is completely in character
hyunjin: makes perfect sense
hyunjin: anyway
hyunjin: i wanted to apologize for him. i hope that ur friend isn’t too scared
hyunjin: our other friend and i are trying to get him to leave him alone
felix: ??
felix: no omg its soo romantic!!!!!!!!
hyunjin: it is?
felix: yeah like he bit someone for jisung today… jisung said he thought it was sweet
hyunjin: bit? as in teeth??
hwang hyunjin → kim seungmin, lee minho
notmin: MINHO WHY DID YOU BITE SOMEONE
min2: BIT?? AS IN TEETH??
min2: ????????
min1: I was defending Jisung’s honor.
min2: oh BROTHER
notmin: felix said that jisung called it “sweet”
notmin: i’m not sure i’ve ever heard that adjective used to describe u before
min1: He thinks I’m sweet?
notmin: yeah apparently
min2: oh great
min2: so he’s a fucking freak, too 😭😭
min1: Don’t call him that.
min1: Apologize.
min1: Seungmin.
notmin: ooooh seungmin’s in troubleeee
min2: shiver me timbers
min2: .. sorry for calling your boyfriend a freak.
notmin: 💀💀💀💀
min1: Thank you.
kim seungmin → hwang hyunjin
loser: hyunjin i’m scared
loser: is minho actually going to pull jisung
lover: i don’t know
lover: this is terrifying
lover: how is his approach actually working
han jisung → lee minho
sung: thank you for all of your help this morning!! :) <33
lino: It was my pleasure.
sung: i know that you have a class right now, but are you free after…?
sung: i want ice cream
sung: i tried to get some on my own but i’m lost lol
lino: You’re lost?
lino: I’ll come find you.
lino: What buildings are you by?
lino: Leaving class now.
sung: there’s no need to leave your class!! it’s like broad daylight nothing is going to happen to me <3
lino: Already out of the room.
lino: It’s not an important class
sung: okayy
sung: thank you :))
lino: Of course.
hwang hyunjin → kim seungmin, lee minho
notmin: bro minho
notmin: why did you just get up and leave
notmin: isn’t this class like super important for performance majors 😭😭
min1: Had to help Jisung
min2: dawg
hwang hyunjin → lee felix
hyunjin: guess what i just saw while i was walking home..
felix: bug
hyunjin: i mean
hyunjin: yes there are bugs outside
hyunjin: but that’s not what i was referring to
felix: bird
hyunjin: ??
hyunjin: that’s enough guesses i think
hyunjin: i saw minho with your friend.
hyunjin: they were in the little patch of lawn by the financial aid office on a picnic blanket
hyunjin: minho was just sitting there and jisung was like leaning on him and reading a book
hyunjin: ** wearing minho’s jacket btw
hyunjin: and they lowkey looked so cute
felix: AH!!!!!!!!
felix: SO CUTIEEEE
hyunjin: then an acorn fell and hit Minho in the head (which was funny as hell btw 💀💀)
hyunjin: the acorn incident was kind of the best part of the whole thing honestly
felix: can we lock back into the story please
hyunjin: oh yeah okay so then jisung like got all worried
hyunjin: he was like patting the top of minho’s head and he seemed genuinely distressed about the possibility of minho having gotten like brain damage from the damn acorn
hyunjin: and then he kissed the top of minho’s head AND MINHO BLUSHED
felix: AHH I LOVE THEMMMM
hyunjin: ur on board?
felix: THATS SO CUTE OMGG IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM 🥺🥺🥺🥺
hyunjin: minho literally fucking bit someone today
hyunjin: how is this working out for him
lee felix → bang chan, han jisung
lixie: jisungie how was your date??
sungie: it’s technically still going! :)
sungie: we’ve been together all day
sungie: like even when i had to pee he came in and locked the door !! protection
channie: Are you talking about the bathroom on the first floor of the Chem building :)
channie: The huge one :)
channie: And the only one that can be accessed without a keycard :)
channie: The one that was strangely inaccessible this morning :) After a 300-person lecture ended :)
sungie: YES!! how did you know omg
channie: Bro
sungie: anyway we’re going out for an early dinner in a little bit!
sungie: lix i’ll be coming home to change though! apparently he got us a reservation somewhere fancy
lixie: fancy????
lixie: okay!!
sungie: when i come back minho will be with me is that okay
lixie: yes!! yay!!
lee minho → hwang hyunjin, kim seungmin
min1: I won’t be there tonight.
notmin: did we have plans? 💀💀
min2: minho you’re such an attention whore
min1: ?
notmin: bro wants us to ask what his plans are soo bad
min2: …
min2: fine
min2: oh, minho, please tell us what you’re doing tonight!!!! it’s all we can think about!!
min1: Jisung and I are going out to dinner.
min2: not worth the build up
notmin: where are u guys going
min1: The new Italian place downtown.
notmin: isn’t that like super expensive
min1: Yes.
notmin: right, right. okay
notmin: so, u ARE unemployed
notmin: how are u going to fund this
min1: Not relevant
notmin: ?? sketchy ass answer wtf
min2: the website says that they’re booked for the next eight months
min2: how did you get this reservation?
min1: Not relevant
notmin: i feel like it’s very relevant
min2: you wanted to brag about your date so now you have to deal with our questions
min1: I have to go do homework. Sorry.
notmin: that excuse doesn’t work any better the second time
min1: I think that I’m going to ask him to marry me.
min2: are you okay?
min2: not even making fun of you like genuinely are you okay
notmin: minho u barely know this man hello?? he could be a serial killer
min1: He isn’t.
notmin: yes but my point is that he COULD be
min1: He isn’t.
min2: you’ve officially lost it
min2: you haven’t even gone on a date since that one like two years ago
min1: Sometimes you just know when someone is right for you.
min1: Seungmin, you might be familiar with the feeling if you’d ever let yourself be emotionally vulnerable instead of shutting yourself off from human connection for fear of being hurt.
min2: ????
min2: HELLO??
notmin: seungmin ur catching strays 😭😭
notmin: do you even have a ring minho
min1: Yes
notmin: where did u get a ring on such short notice
min1: Not relevant
min1: Wish me luck?
notmin: that question mark is the first sign of uncertainty we’ve seen in this entire situation LMAO
notmin: the world is clearly ending
min2: wait. minho.
min2: are you nervous?
notmin: AWWW
notmin: i hate to say it but that is actually really sweet
min2: … yeah
min2: okay.
min2: minho i’ve never lied to you before and i’m not going to start now. this is absolutely batshit. like literally insane. and kind of a horrible idea frankly
min1: ?
min2: shut the fuck up i’m not done
min2: BUT
min2: if anyone can pull it off, it’s you. this guy clearly also has something wrong with him considering he’s entertained you this long, so he’ll probably say yes
min2: and if he says no, then he sucks and i will key his car or kill him or something
notmin: wow…truly inspirational
notmin: brought tears to my eyes
notmin: go get ur man minho 🫡🫡
min1: Thank you, Seungmin.
notmin: and me??
min1: Good effort.
notmin: okay fuck you too ig 😭😭
min1: Will update later.
notmin: sigh… they grow up so fast…
notmin: one day they’re single, and the next they’re getting engaged…
min2: those two days were consecutive
notmin: ur ruining my reminiscing
min2: you’re ruining my life
min1: Stop texting.
min2: just put your phone on do not disturb, grandpa
notmin: GOD minho why are u the fun police
min1: Aren’t you fighting right now?
min2: we unite against you
notmin: good luck tho
han jisung → bang chan, lee felix
sungie: guys. minho proposed. i’m engaged.
lixie: SUNGIE WHAT
lixie: im sosososo happy for you wtf 🥺💞✨
lixie: you deserve the world im so glad that you met someone who makes you happy
lixie: all ive ever wanted is for you to find someone who treats you well 💞
sungie: minho does :)
channie: Wow. This feels a little fast.
channie: Are you sure about this, Jisung?
sungie: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sungie: i am so happy. like insanely happy
channie: If you’re happy, then I’m happy for you. 😊
sungie: thank you guys i love you both sm
lixie: we love u too sung 💞💞
chan: Love you. ♥️
lee minho → hwang hyunjin, kim seungmin
min1: HE SAID YES
min2: RAHHHHH 💯
notmin: CASUAL MINHO DUB 💪🦅🇺🇲‼️
lee minho → bang chan, han jisung, hwang hyunjin, kim seungmin, lee felix
minho: hey losers and dummies. this is jisung from minho’s phone.
minho: we are proud to announce that you have all been bamboozled. tricked. deceived, if you will
seungmin: so you aren’t actually getting married?? oh thank fuck
minho: No, we are. – Minho
seungmin: oh
hyunjin: minho u did not need to sign off 💀💀
hyunjin: we can tell it’s u 💀💀
seungmin: who is in this chat
minho: my friends!!!! chan and felix
chan: Jisung, in what way were we tricked?
hyunjin: who are u and why do u type like an old person
chan: ? ☹️
minho: attention back on me please
felix: we are listening sungie!!!!!!!!
minho: we have been dating for a little over a year and a half!!
seungmin: no you have not
minho: early on in our relationship, minho made a joke about his friends being oblivious
hyunjin: ok damn
minho: and i said omg mine are too
minho: and then i said something along the lines of “we could probably date without them finding out haha”
minho: and an unnamed individual said “no i think they’d figure it out”
minho: and i said okay. wanna bet?
seungmin: you’re lying
minho: He is not. – Minho
hyunjin: again, u do not need to sign it
minho: We agreed that it would end when we either got engaged or broke up. – Minho
minho: so when that stuff from twitter started happening we were like fuck we gotta get engaged if we wanna win
seungmin: you guys got engaged to win a bet????
hyunjin: so were you just lying all day??
minho: we were telling the truth about the stuff that happened!! just lied about not knowing each other lol
seungmin: so all of the shit that you said happened today actually happened?
seungmin: referring specifically to the biting incident
minho: yeah, he really did that!! it was so nice
hyunjin: oh cool. glad to know that he HAS lost it
chan: Jisung, you lied to Felix and I for YEARS??
minho: wellll……..
minho: i lied to YOU for years……..
chan: FELIX KNEW?
felix: remember the unnamed individual minsung made the bet with…
hyunjin: “minsung” 💀💀
hyunjin: more like minDUMB
seungmin: good one bro
hyunjin: thanks bro
chan: FELIX.
felix: sorry!!!!
hyunjin: i cannot believe that u did this 😭
seungmin: hyunjin are you stupid?? i can definitely believe it
chan: What do you even get for winning the bet?
minho: uhh
minho: felix do you remember
felix: uhh
felix: hm
chan: For the love of god
seungmin: this is deranged
seungmin: how did you guys pull this off
minho: Remember when I was in that coma for two weeks? – Minho
seungmin: yes it was horrible
minho: LOSER that was a body double. I was in the Bahamas with Sungie. Get fucked. – Minho
seungmin: that experience keeps me up at night
minho: GET FUCKED DUMMY – Minho
minho: I honestly wasn’t always sure we’d win. I thought that Seungmin might figure it out – Minho
seungmin: aww
hyunjin: and me also, i’m sure
minho: No, not you – Minho
minho: ANYWAY!!!!!!!!
minho: everybody get ready for a wedding :))
hyunjin: u two deserve each other
minho: awwww <3
hyunjin: not a compliment.
minho: Burn in hell, Hyunjin. – Minho
hyunjin: 😘😘
bang chan → han jisung, hwang hyunjin, kim seungmin, lee felix, lee minho
chan: Wait, so what was the reason for the original tweets? You said that you didn't mean for us to find out yet so why did you guys post those
jisung: oh minho’s just weird as fuck lol.
chan: Oh