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Screaming, crying, wailing. It’s every night. Eunseo is tired, so tired. Her husband does nothing to help with the hindrance that is their offspring. She feels helpless and angry - she can’t bear it much longer.
With a scowl and grit of her teeth, Eunseo throws back the covers, glaring at her sleeping husband before fixing her bra strap, staggering out of the warmth of the futon and into the room of tonight’s disturbance. She grimaces at the sight. The sight of it. It’s fists clenched, mouth wide, piercing all silence with its pandemonium. Eunseo just stares, burning liquid fire into the small, helpless thing. How she wishes she could do simply just that.
She reaches out with nimble hands, pausing midway. She could suffocate it. She can wrap her hands around its throat and kill it. She has the power to do it and it can’t do anything about it to stop her. It was supposed to die. Why didn’t it? Eunseo’s fingers twitch, the noise it’s making now muffled ringing. She thinks. She can do it, she can kill it and it’ll all be over. And yet, she doesn’t.
She cradles it instead; wide, round, wet eyes boring into her very soul. The sounds stop, replaced by hushed cooing and babbling. Eunseo just stares at it when it reaches out its small hands, making tiny grabby motions with them. Its small mouth curves up into some sort of smile, cheeks fat and flushed from crying.
“Mama,” It manages to say. The only word it knows. Most babies’ first words is ‘dada’. Eunseo nips the inside of her cheek, cutting it with her teeth. Why her?
The tired woman sits on the edge of the bed, not taking her eyes off of the ball in her skinny arms. Her throat feels tight, like this isn’t right. She wants to throw it, do something to get it away from her -
“Mm- Mama,” It mumbles again, gazing up at her with those fucking eyes. She doesn’t know why, but she leans her head down toward those needy hands. They make contact with her face - curious and unapologetic. She doesn’t pull away, though. The small thing babbles with joy. Eunseo doesn’t smile.