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It was just like that night, right before Ilos. Shepard lay next to Kaidan, breathing despite everything he had been through. Kaidan couldn't sleep, he still couldn't believe the fact that Shepard had survived - barely survived, but survived nonetheless. Dr Chakwas cleared him out of the medical wing but requested that Shepard continued to rest. most her medical equipment had busted, so Shepard would have to survive off of older medical practices.
And so he was, fast asleep in his cabin. it was surreal. when Shepard was reported missing in action- presumed dead- No, was dead, Kaidan had been heartbroken, too many things had been left unsaid between the two of them. Kaidan had come to regret how he acted on horizon.
"… I can feel your eyes on me Kaidan." Shepard rolled over, his voice slow, eyes locking to Kaidan's. The slight red-orange glow from Shepard's eyes only reminded Kaidan of everything the man he loved had been through. brain dead, dead, he still struggled with that information.
"…mmm sorry, just thinking" Kaidan snuggled himself closer to Shepard.
"s'pose there's…" Shepard was interrupted by a yawn "…a whole lot to think about. I mean; the world almost ended" Kaidan could just make out the smile that crossed Shepard face in the darkness.
"Well thanks to you, it didn't." Kaidan's voice was a soft whisper. He felt Shepard's smile drop.
"I don't know… I still wonder if I made the right choice…" Shepard sighed "no I don't want to think about that right now" the engineer moved closer, nuzzling his head on Kaidan's shoulder. Kaidan let the topic drop.
He wrapped his arms around Shepard's body, they lay in silence once again. Kaidan pulled Shepard close, squeezing the mans body tight. Shepard had ran off without him, straight into a reapers attack - he wasn't going to let that happen again.
"…Someone's clingy" Shepard's voice groaned
"Hey, let me be happy about the love of my life being alive and in my arms" Shepard's body shifted.
"Yeah, but be gentle… I'm still a little broken…" there was silence for a while, Shepard's breathing begun to become rhythmic again.
"Shepard… its so hard to believe any of this"
"Kaidan, really we both need rest" Shepard's tired voice was muffled by Kaidan's bare shoulder.
"I know, I'm just afraid that- maybe you won't be here when I wake up…"
"I can't imagine getting up in my condition"
"Shepard I'm serious, I mean-" Shepard cut Kaidan off, sitting up and gently pressing his lips against the other mans.
"I know, but I promised I would be back." Shepard sighed. "I'm not sure what would convince you I'm real"
Kaidan let out a soft laugh "I can think of a few things"
"You'll have to wait until I'm all fixed up, Alenko" Shepard leaned down to press his lips gently onto Kaidan's once again.
"Remember back then… when you became a Spectre" Kaidan began once they broke apart. "you would flirt with me, and i would shut you down"
"Yet you still showed up to my bunk, but no strings attached you told me." Shepard leaned back down closing his eyes.
"Yeah… I guess I needed some more time to figure out how I felt about you." Kaidan sighed "I'm sorry, it was cruel of me"
"I told you I loved you that night, then you ran away." Shepard spoke, it wasn't a memory Kaidan relished in.
"Then you went off and died on me"
"And when I finally got you back you were still convinced I was working for Cerberus and almost died on me" Shepard yawned snuggling back into Kaidan "but I'm glad you finally figured it out." Shepard moved his head down to kiss Kaidan's shoulder.
Kaidan let out a soft laugh "well I really didn't make things easy for you"
"No you didn't. For all your niceness Alenko, you couldn't make it easy for me. Always leaving a way out… there's no way out of this…" Shepard's voice slowed down and his breath steadied. Kaidan planted a kiss on the top of his head, he was never letting go of this moment.