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“...and that lake is at the perfect spot, a clearing in the flora that lets the light hit the water at just the right angle to make it look like a sea of gold.”
Ati whistled softly as Leras finished his description. “And you've been there?”
“How else would I be describing it to you?” Leras thought for a moment. “We could visit, if you want.”
“Oh, really? Because I remember you saying it's ‘in a land beyond the world,’” Ati remarked with a smirk.
Leras grinned. “That part I may have fabricated.”
They sat outside in the cool night, sharing stories of wonders, far and close, they’d seen or heard of. Leras had been to many such places in his youth, on the journey where he had left his land behind.
“I mean it though,” Leras said softly. “It's not as far as I claim. We could go there; see it for yourself. It's much more beautiful than words can describe.”
Ati smiled at him. “If that's the case, then I have no choice but to accept.”
The day did come, quicker than Leras anticipated. And so, they started on a boat trip. Down the river that led into the forest, the one Leras had visited with people that he'd never see again, the forest with the beautiful lake that had enamored him when he had been a child. It made him wonder whether he’d suggested the excursion for Ati or for himself.
Ati proved to be good enough at rowing. Leras certainly hadn't expected that, but the remark only earned him an exasperated huff from the other.
At some point on their way, Leras noticed a sizable part of nature, right next to the river’s banks, that had been destroyed. Burned away in some brief wildfire, trees and flowers replaced by ashes.Seeing this made him… sad. Not angry or frustrated. Just sadness at what had happened in the years since he’d last been in this place. Most of the forest was intact, but this one part was forever lost. What if this wasn't the only part damaged? He imagined a pond filled with ash, trees left bare and dead, a stunning sight reduced to burned remains.
He felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned, realizing he had, in his distraction, accidentally stopped rowing. Ati was pointing at a small patch of saplings that had flowered amongst the ashes. The man smiled softly and shrugged.
Leras stared at that small patch, then back at Ati. How he could always find the smallest bit of hope in things, Leras could never understand. He smiled back regardless.
The boat capsized.
It was a sudden jerk, a change to the river’s currents, but it managed to overturn the boat and send them both into the water.
Leras came to himself first. When sinking, it was hard to reorient yourself and find which way was up. Thankfully, he knew the proper methods. He gasped for air as he crested the surface, then took a moment to regain his composure and stabilize his breathing before he realized.
He couldn't see Ati.
A chill ran down his spine, colder even than the river’s water. He couldn't be… Could he? No, it hadn't been that much time. Frantic, he started looking around for the familiar head of red hair. He dove back into the water, shouting his name, even searching by the outer banks of the river. He feared the worst, he feared—
A figure broke the water's surface with a loud gasp, followed by coughing and splashing. Leras let out a sigh of relief, quickly making his way towards the other man and dragging him to the shore.
He made Ati sit down by the shadow of a tree and wrapped him in his coat, as good as that would do, considering it was also soaking wet like the rest of them.
“Thanks,” the younger man managed to rasp when his coughing subsided. “You— you saved my life.”
Leras patted him on the back, solemn. They gazed at the flowing river in silence for a few moments, contemplating. Just how quickly could a life end? He banished those thoughts. He was okay. Ati was okay. That's what mattered.
“We should be going back, shouldn't we?” Ati noted, nodding to their boat's wood remains that had washed ashore. “The boat is ruined and we'll have to walk.”
“Not just yet. I made a promise, remember?" Leras stood, helping Ati up and moved towards the thick foliage, Ati following close behind. There, hoping his memory didn't betray him, he made his way between some low-hanging branches and vines, following a worn-out path downhill, until he saw it.
The sea of gold.
Ati gaped at the spectacle. It was just as Leras remembered it. Fruit trees crested it, a variety of colorful flowers growing from them and small stacked waterfalls adorned its far side, the water sparkling as it hit. Birds had nested on the trees, their songs a harmony. And there was the lake itself, its surface glowing like a fire was submerged underneath.
“It's beautiful,” Ati whispered, leaning down to put a hand in the water. Looking at the man, ragged, wet, hair plastered on his face, but grinning in awe, Leras couldn't get the thoughts out of his mind. The realization that he could have lost him. He tried to tell himself again that this didn't happen, and they're both alright, but he could only think of his despair minutes before, when he'd worried he'd never again see his face.
“For a moment before,” he said softly, feeling guilty to ruin the moment, “I— I thought you were gone.”
Ati turned to look at him. They stood in silence for a few moments, looking at each other before he, surprisingly, smirked.
“Gone? What, and leave you here, stranded and alone? Ha! You're not getting rid of me that easily!” he exclaimed, elbowing the other.
Leras couldn't help but laugh in response and Ati gripped his shoulder as they shared their moment, admiring their gift, both in front of them and beside them.
Ati smiled. Curse him, but he still smiled.
They had actually done it, the lot of them. They had faced God, the most powerful thing to ever exist, and had killed it with its own creations. Now, this power was theirs to bear. It… almost felt too easy. He didn’t dwell on that.
He and Ati stood alone now, most of the others having left for the cosmere right after they acquired their divinity, but Leras couldn't bring himself to do the same this fast. They held on to their physical forms through avatars of themselves, though it was now unnecessary. It still felt right.
Leras's vision and capacity had expanded the moment he’d seized those lines of light and mist that seemed to expand to infinity. He could see and understand everything at once, infinite possibilities extending before him. He felt his power’s thrum as it surged through him, the one he’d as much sought as stumbled upon.
Preservation. Stability. Protection.
Good enough, he'd thought. Of course, all these powers were dangerous. They'd known that, as it was a risk they were willing to take. But at least it was that and not something more horrible. Something that could force him to do things he abhorred.
He couldn't say the same as he looked at Ati. The man had taken up Ruin.
He'd said he'd do it. He'd set his mind to it, said he would take the most dangerous of the resulting Shards so that no one else had to bear it, so that he could try and keep it in check. So that others, less benevolent than he, wouldn't get their hands on it. But Leras… Leras hadn't actually believed he'd do it. None of the others had either, to his understanding. Why would someone like Ati want to take the Shard of Ruin, of all things?
Foolish, that. When Ati had a plan in mind, when he said he’d do something he felt was right, not much could change his mind from actually doing it.
And so, Leras gazed upon the person he loved most in this life, still smiling at him even as he'd taken up his burden. But Leras could see. He could see the darkness plaguing him, lurking behind familiar eyes, even while Ati tried to appear strong for him.
Logically, it probably was the better choice. What would happen to the cosmere if someone like Rayse had taken up the power of destruction? He and his Shard alike shivered at the thought. But Ati, he could try and temper it. He could maybe control it, spare the cosmere much grief. And yet, who knew what these powers would do to a man? Who knew what this darkness could do to Ati?
“You… you actually did it,” Leras forced the words out.
Ati looked at him, his expression softening, probably realizing what Leras thought of that choice. “I did. I will fight it, Leras, and I will control it. I can make it work. I wouldn't let anyone else have to.”
“Of course you wouldn't,” he said, looking away. Ati had always been too kind. He immediately regretted the bitterness with which he'd said that. He was more than fond of the other’s character and the way he looked out for people more than he thought of himself.
“It’s okay. I’ll be fine; you don’t need to worry about me,” Ati said after a moment, voice still soft.
“There are infinite futures, Ati, infinite times where it consumes you and leaves nothing behind. Can you actually promise me that you’ll be fine?”
They fell silent, though Ati seemed to be considering something.
“Come with me, then," he said eventually. "The powers we hold are opposed. Ruin and Preservation. We could balance each other out and avoid the worst of both of them. Keep each other in check.”
Leras looked at him, surprised. “What of the promise we made? We set rules about that!”
“Does it matter?”
“The powers won’t just accept that.” He immediately felt stupid. The powers weren’t sentient, and so, despite their mutual repulsion of the other, they didn’t actually want anything.
The truth was, he did want to stay with Ati. His soul yearned for it. However, a part of him wanted to continue refusing, for fear that it was wrong, that they would somehow end up making things worse by staying together. Then again, with the both of them together, could that even happen? With the boundless power the now both held, they could always make things right. So, he shoved his fears, doubts and stubbornness aside.
“Would it be worse than being alone, leaving us and everyone else at the mercy of our Shards?” Ati was saying. “What if, instead, we could help each other and make something good come out of this? We could prove this was actually done for the best.”
He considered the offer, earnestly this time. What if they did that? Found a quiet corner of the cosmere, away from where the others were and did their own thing. Together. Would that really be so bad? He could help Ati, preserve him, protect him from the worst of his power. His fears wouldn’t come true, not if he could have a hand in this.
He… he could agree to that.
“Besides,” Ati continued, softer, “I made my own promise a few years ago.”
“Which is?” Leras asked.
Ati smiled, in the way only he could. “That you are not getting rid of me that easily.”
Leras grinned and, together, they took to the stars.
Leras—though mostly just Preservation now—manifested an avatar of himself on the hill. At least, as much as he could these days, his power diminishing by the moment.
Ruin did the same.
They had agreed to meet then and there, to face each other like the people they used to be for what was probably the last time.
And so, Leras looked upon a man he’d once loved, noting the familiar face that couldn't have been more foreign. Red hair the color of a burning, usurping fire, eyes like the infinite coldness, like the eternal winter that comes with the end of things. The part of him that was the power loved that coldness.
Ruin clasped his hands behind his back, idly strolling around before the barren landscape. “It is finally time,” he said with a self-satisfied expression. Leras didn't reply, glaring at him as fiercely as he could manage.
Ruin smiled. Not the familiar, sweet smile from the time they were mortals, even though it looked similar on this face. This was a twisted smirk, with a hard edge to it that was never present on the man Ati had been. “Oh, there’s no need to look like that! It has been coming for years now. You know it's how it has to go.”
“Yet it doesn't. It doesn't have to go that way, Ati! You don't need to destroy everything we built. Everything we did together…” He trailed off.
“And yet I do. Everything ends, eventually. It's the inevitable way of existence, despite you refusing to understand this. Every life, every place, until all that remains is a still, motionless void. In the end, we both want the same things. I’m merely the step to get what you wanted.” He paused for a moment. “It’s a shame you’re too weak to accept that step.”
Leras hesitated for just a moment, the power stirring at the other's words, though he was quick to come back to himself. “Is it weakness to want to protect them like I promised?” he snapped. “And don’t you pretend to know what I want! I preserve the balance between life and death that I knew you’d try and topple. Seems I was right.”
“And did you really think this would last? This balance of yours was always nothing more than a fraying thread by which this world hung. It’s time to cut that string and leave the world to rest, as every tree must eventually burn away to make space for a new sapling, a new beginning. But we've said this before, haven't we? How could you forget?” His smile deepened. “You didn't stop anything. You only managed to delay it with your little stunt. Why, it seems like you’ve only made things worse for yourself!”
Leras let out a sigh. He knew each of these speeches by heart at this point, after so many times listening to the other recite them. It still stung to hear these words from the lips of a loved one.
He turned to look at the world as it stood. Though at this point, it mostly teetered, as might a table with only two legs remaining. Ashen hills, lava trailing from the ever-active ashmounts, frail brown plants finally succumbing to the piled-up mounds of ash. Ruin… he was right, in that he didn’t have much time remaining. He would die soon. He just hoped things would work out for his successors the way they hadn’t for him.
“I'd thought that maybe…” he trailed off, looking back at Ati. Amongst all his failures, this was the man he’d failed the worst.
“What, that you'd keep me locked in place forever?" Ruin guessed, wrong, as he usually was in those matters. "Very short-sighted of you. In case you have forgotten, you're not getting rid of me that easily.”
He felt those words deeply. Words he hadn't heard in millennia, words that used to mean something deeper, other than what they now did.
It was supposed to be a negotiation of terms to seal the fate of a world, but really, just a ploy and a trap.
One’s smile and another’s stab of guilt.
A promise broken, millennia of relationship as good as gone, traded for a planet saved and a catastrophe prevented.
A betrayal of the only person, man and god, that had come to mean something.
A rip and a shrieking sound, then a barrier, a prison for a god established in a well of power.
A deafening whisper echoing in the air, words he knew would eventually come true.
“You are not getting rid of me that easily.”
A profound stillness that for once didn’t comfort him.
No, he hadn't forgotten. He had forgotten a great many things over the millennia of his decline, but this he didn't think he'd ever forget, a last remnant of two men long dead, horribly twisted, much like those men themselves. He looked to the distance where a small river, overloaded by ash, tried fitfully to make its way through the deserted landscape.
He heard Ruin huff, halfheartedly noting that he’d swept away from the area. He felt the earthquake moments later.
He was alone, a god who hoped to save a world, yet also a man who couldn't even save a friend.