Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Four hundred years. 

She had lived through for four centuries.

For forty decades.

For four hundred years.

And every day seemed as if it would never end. Perhaps she was destined to be alone and young forever. 

Twenty was the magic number, the year that everyone stopped aging until that certain person came along to start the process again. You could live a normal life once the wheel of time started turning again. You could watch as your face molded into something unrecognizable, and your hair turned a different shade, graying at the roots, and crow's feet danced along the corners of your eyes while your joints ached with arthritis. 

Growing old was the best part, but with the person you loved unconditionally was the cherry on top. It didn’t matter if your hair turns frail and grey or your face sagged with the force of gravity, because you had that single person who belonged with you right there, holding your hand along the way. 

And for these past four hundred years, she watched as every person she knew found their soulmate, grew old, and died while she continued to search. 

And searched.

And searched.

“What are you so upset about?” Stelle had caught Cyrene despondently sighing, with her sapphire eyes looking off into the distance. 

She blinked, looking at her ashen grey-haired friend who was sitting across from her with a coffee cup pressed to her lips. “What? I’m not upset.”

Stelle narrowed her eyes, her eyebrow twitching in annoyance. “You were looking out the window just now, it’s your trademark upset face. Were you thinking about something?” Then her eyes widened in realization, and her cup slammed on the table, rocking the dark liquid inside.

“Have you found the one?” 

Cyrene flinched at her words. Of course, she hadn’t; she just liked thinking about the possibility of what he might look like. Would he have dark hair, silver, white or maybe blonde? How tall would he be? What would it feel like when she found him? She asked her friends these questions often, and they couldn’t really describe it. One minute, there was nothing, and then they saw them, and it was like their world brightened, making everything different and more unique, and all you saw was them. And only them. But she couldn’t really understand that feeling. 

“I guess not.” Stelle frowned with a shrug while leaning back into her chair, flicking a cake crumb off the table. Then she looked up at her friend with such curious citrine eyes.

“What’s it like being four hundred years old?” The question was blunt and uncalled for. She knew Cyrene secretly hated that question because she was quite possibly the oldest person on the planet, and her confirming that didn’t help much. 

She fidgeted in her seat, pastel blue eyes staring into the white foam of her latte. “I don’t know. It all feels like a dream, really. I...I just want it to be over.” The tone of her voice grew dejected, and her lips tightened with an oncoming wave of anxiety. 

Stelle leaned towards her friend, placing a comforting hand on hers. “You’ll find him, don’t worry. It’ll be unexpected, and amazing, and everything you’ve ever dreamed of!” She smiled, and it warmed Cyrene’s heart. “Okay?”

“…Okay.” She couldn’t help but smile back with her heart beating through her chest. Still, she needed to change the subject. “What was it like for you?”

Her eyebrows lifted in shock. “Me? You want to know mine?”

Cyrene nodded, quite curious about her friend's newfound soulmate.

“Well, I honestly don’t know as it was quite odd for me. I hadn’t been expecting it, you know? Fifty years had gone by since I turned twenty, and then there he was. All pure-white haired, very tall and very handsome. He's a bit weird at times, but he's actually kind, sweet, gentle, and genuine. He's also quite older than I am, in terms of appearance. But he had lived far longer than I am. For almost seven hundred years.” Stelle got a far-off look in her eyes, her features relaxing into a somber expression. “I really loved him as he loved me; and it feels like he has always been there, like I have never felt the loneliness in my heart. As I did for him.”

This was what Cyrene wanted to hear. This feeling of never having been alone for these last four hundred years, she wanted to feel herself age, to not be stuck in this young adult body any longer. What Stelle had was the desire of every person who hadn’t found their other half yet. And Cyrene couldn’t help but feel jealous of her grey-haired friend. 

Stelle chuckled softly, drawing the pink-haired woman away from her thoughts. “But look at the bright side, you’ll get to watch me grow old and quite gross.”

“Yeah...” Cyrene gave a gentle giggle.

Sensing the timid atmosphere, she called over the waiter of the cafe shop they frequented, asking for their checks. When they came, Stelle got out of her money enough to pay for the both of them, while Cyrene still rummaging through her purse. 

“H-hey, you didn’t need to pay for me.” Cyrene felt guilty while Stelle waved away her concerns. 

“It’s my treat, don’t worry. It’s the least I can do for making you feel upset, okay?” She stood, placing her purse over her shoulder.

“Now, I have to go meet Jing Yuan. He's waiting for me. So, I’ll see you tomorrow for coffee?” Her face gave out a hopeful expression towards her. 

Cyrene grinned, nodding at her request. “Of course I will, Stelle. But I’m going to stay here for a little bit, so I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Okay!” She started to turn away, but her thoughts stopped her. “And Cyrene, don’t be so depressed, alright? He’ll come around, you'll see.” She waved happily before turning around and leaving the cafe. 

“Right.” She said to no one, chewing on her lip. 

There had been times when she thought she had found the one for her. Some attractive guys, different than everyone else in the crowd of people. She even dated one or two guys in her life, wondering if she could force the spark to happen, but it never worked. These guys have all left her when they had found their better half. 

For four hundred years of watching people pair up was exhausting, annoying, and well, romantic. There was something about the story of this life they all lived that was enticingly beautiful and romantic all the same. The girl in search of her true love. The boy who was destined to find a girl who would be his new world. The lovers who would die for each other. These were the stories she imagined this world to be like.

These were also the stories she fantasized about each day while she waited. But waiting was getting old. Waiting had consumed her life. 

The waiter came up next to her, tapping her shoulder politely. “Miss, can I get you anything? Water, maybe?” 

Cyrene looked at him for a long moment and then nodded, causing the waiter to look at her strangely yet concerned. “Yes, water, that’s fine. Thank you.”

When she looked away, her vision changed; the outside world looked oddly brighter, more defined than it had ever been. The sky was bluer, the building looked sharper, more reflective. She had never seen the trees more refined than right now. Even the sound was better.

And it was all because of that most defined image she was looking at from across the street.

“Him...” She whispered, almost shakily, as she stood up with her knees rocking the table.

“It’s him.” She didn’t even grab her purse before she took off in a run, the waiter holding her water nearly running into her. 

Cyrene was out the door, long pink hair flowing behind her as she ran for him. “It’s him!” She almost shouted, eyes filling up with tears. 

He was quite taller than her, had bluish-white hair, wearing generic clothing that probably came in a million shades, and talking on his cellphone with a silly yet friendly grin plastered on his gentle, handsome face. 

But she ran towards him anyway, she ran because this was her person, the person who would love her when she couldn’t love herself. Who would hold her when she asked, or when she didn’t. Who would kiss her in the rain and in the middle of the night.

The person who would held the unconditional love she had been waiting for since forever. She would no longer be the forever girl. 

When Cyrene reached out to him, she was out of breath, but he still hadn’t seen her, not yet. Because he was still walking and still talking on the phone. So she reached for him, grabbing the hem of his blue shirt and tried to pull him.

“It’s you.” The tears were falling now from her eyes, genuinely relieved and content of what she had found in her long life.

The man finally turned, who revealed to have such beautiful and pristine cerulean eyes, as his conversation ended when the phone in his hand dropped. His voice was as she imagined it, deep but soft, as it’s vibrating her entire body when he spoke these two simple words that made her heart flutter.

“It’s you...” 

Unexpectedly, these four hundred years didn’t seem that long to her anymore.

Chapter Text

“I can’t believe you’re already leaving.”

His mother smiled almost tearfully while running her fingers through his white hair, which he brushed away, indicating that he was no longer a kid anymore.

Hieronymus looked at his wife with a gentle smile pulling at his lips. “Audata, darling, he’ll be fine. It’s his own adventure now; he didn’t go through three months of boot camp for nothing.” A strong and firm fatherly grip was placed on Phainon’s shoulders as the smile he had now exclusively for his only son.

“And anyway, he’ll be back to visit before you know it, right, son?”

The moment he turned ninteen in July, he knew what he wanted to do. It was the trend among all of his friends; they enlisted in the army to fight with guns blazing for the motherland. It was heroic and honorable, and the right thing to do, now that their country was in dire need of soldiers. Phainon knew at a young age that this was what he wanted.

And he only needed to be willing to give up two things: his life and his soulmate. 

Clutching at the strap of his Khaslana 'sun symbol' embroidered bag, he moved into the open arms of his mother. “I’ll see you soon.” He had to admit, he’d miss the feeling of his dear mother’s loving embrace. The way she held him tightly against her, how she smelled like home, and was so full of love. 

“Remember to eat properly, okay?” Audata said, with a tint of motherly strictness, yet showed more love to her son. The words weren’t a suggestion, but more like a warning. He’d miss that too.

"Don't worry, mom. I will." 

Phainon kissed her on the cheek before he nodded, then moved towards his father. They clapped each other on the back, giving each other their identical smiles. Sharing their father-son loving farewell moment. “Be careful, and don’t make us worry. Write to us sometime.” Hieronymus patted his cheek as his son’s smile wavered a little bit. 

There was always the possibility of dying as soon as he got there, and there was the likelihood of him being shipped off right away. At least, that’s what they told him in boot camp. If that happened, he’d be gone until the war ended, or his life did. He guessed that was the good thing about never aging after eighteen when in the army, if you died, you die young. That’s why the army only took those men who hadn’t found their soulmate yet; they were young, healthy, strong, and weren’t weighed down by their need for their other half.

Lately, Phainon had been thinking he would never find his soulmate. His parents were almost instantly paired and had been childhood friends for years, and then one day their feelings for each other changed, as well as how they saw the world. And he based their relationship on how he would find his own. But when he didn’t find love in his own way, it all seemed hopeless now. 

The train’s horn blew, thick gray smoke filling the air. It was time for him to go. So he said his final goodbyes and boarded the train to his new home across the country for as long as that would be. 

Inside the train smelled like stale cigars, sweat, and vaguely of rot. Other men and women were sitting silently on the wooden benches, some sleeping, some reading tattered books, and others looking a bit lost. At least they all already had one thing in common - no lifelong partner. 

Phainon sat down in the very back, away from everyone and the rotting smell. In the outside window, his parents were waving animatedly at his departure. His mother was already crying while his father’s arm was wrapped around her shoulders, supporting her. He’d miss them, he would miss their smiles and their bantering, and their general presence. But he was off to be a man and a hero. The life he had lived until now, when his aging had stopped, had been great. Now he was ready to accept anything that came at him in the future. 

Another sound came from the blow of its horn, and the train started moving slowly, chugging along on the tracks to his future. Becoming faster and faster. He could feel the vibrations underneath his feet and move all the way through his body and nervous, wavering heart.

Now the train platform was fading into the distance, the only thing he could see now was the pastel white hair of his mother, still waving at him, he was sure of it. 

The train's horn sounded once again, welcoming the other train that was passing by them. Phainon’s cerulean eyes wandered to it, lazily glancing into each passenger’s window. They looked the same as him, going to some destination that would change their lives.

But then something had changed... his world had brightened, defined, and filled his being with a new, colorful life. 

A woman with such beautiful blossom hair flew by him on the next train, but even in that brief moment, he memorized everything about her ethereal appearance. The thick eyelashes that framed her lovely sapphire eyes, which reminded him of the forest's pristine waters, the tan hat on her head, and the pastel purple dress she wore wonderfully. He even noticed the soft blush on her cheeks that matched her full lips. It was like a picture had been taken in his mind.

And even as the trains zoomed by each other's paths, he saw every single detail about her. 

Immediately, Phainon moved towards the window just as the end of the train went by. His forehead pressed hard against the cold glass. It was her; she had come and gone just like that. His soulmate was there, and then she wasn’t. They were moving in two opposite directions. He couldn’t stop the train, he couldn’t jump out, and he couldn’t reverse time.

He had lost her... 

His fists clenched and banged roughly at the glass, shaking it heavily. “Why didn’t she look at me?” He would remember that more than he had remembered her face.

"Why couldn't she look at me?"

~*~

~*~

His time in the army had been brief, or at least it seemed that way. Six years he had spent fighting the enemy and winning battles, and earning medals of valor for his heroic deeds on the battlefield. He was living a fantasy compared to the reality he lived over and over in his head. 

When he closed his eyes, all he saw was her. Before him, the battlefield was clear, all the colors bright and brilliant just as she had been. And then, in the distance, in all the gunfire, she was there with her hand held out to him, her lips parted as if to say her name to him. 

That’s what tortured him the most, not knowing her name. Not knowing exactly who she was, or where she was for that matter, during his time in the army had driven him insane. Often, he would write to his parents with a detailed description of her, but they’d write back with words he always dreaded reading. 

When he came back, he immediately went back home and took the earnings he made in the war, then bought an apartment close to his parents’ home in the suburbs of the city. They were getting older as the years went by, and then eventually they were gone, and the entire time, he wondered why he still hadn’t aged. 

It was torture to look in the mirror every day, knowing that you could be aging or you could be with your other half. If only she had looked at him all those years ago. If only his searching had led to something, instead of nothing. 

“Maybe she’s still in the city?” Mydei said in a nonchalant tone. One day during the second decade of the new century in his time, while he was on the phone with his fiery blonde-headed friend, who was making his way towards the bus station from his job.

His friend, Mydei, had found his soulmate a year ago, when he first met her at a library store he was passing through. A librarian woman named Castorice, whom he saw from the glass window, was stocking some of the Latin books on the third top shelf, when suddenly, her foot was off-balance. He immediately came to her aid and bridal carried her before she was about to fall on the concrete floor.

And that was where the two had finally found each other's soulmates, when they looked into each other's eyes. Their worlds brighten, and became colorful with pure life in their sights. Who would have thought to Phainon that his stern and grumpy friend, Mydei, had finally found a soulmate who was the total opposite of his. A gentle, shy, and sweet lavender-haired girl.

Phainon sighed with annoyance. “I’ve been looking for more than fifty years, Mydei. If she were here, I’d find her.” 

He was crossing the street now, blue eyes looking both ways, completely ignoring every person who past by him, though he didn’t think he’d ever get over how clear his vision was. He had tried to explain it to his friends, but it was just so hard. Colors that he had thought were one color were actually another. Sunsets were extraordinary events, and plant life was so defined that he could have sworn he was looking at a high-resolution photo. 

“I don’t know, man, I think she is there. It feels right for you.” There was some snickering in the distance on Mydei’s end, followed by the metal sounds from his kitchen. 

The white-haired man reached the other side of the street, rolling his eyes. “You’re such an ass, Mydei.” 

The blonde scoffed amusingly. “It’s just what I feel is right. Call it my very own intuition.”

Phainon lightly snorted. His friend had always played that card. “Right, you know you’re–” 

His words were cut off by a tug on his shirt. It was every day something like this happened, and at first, he thought it was just some random person mistaking him for someone else, but when he turned around, his body froze. 

She was here.

The girl with pink hair was right in front of him, breathing heavily, and sweating like she had just run a marathon. His mouth went dry, and his phone slipped out of his hand, clanging to the ground and nearly exploding into pieces. He didn’t care. Why the hell would he? She was right here, staring up at him with her beautiful sapphire eyes he had dreamed of a hundred times. 

“It’s you.” She breathed with her voice like sweet caramel. 

He repeated the words back, just as breathless as she was. “It’s you...”

Phainon then remembered the train ride to his destined future, the platform fading in the distance, his mother’s pastel white hair. That had been his future. But right now, his destined future was staring directly at him.

The pink-haired girl in a pastel purple dress. She was really here.

And he knew that this ride would really be worth it.