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The hardest thing about being broken up with Blaine was that the world at large really didn’t seem to care. The sun still came up each morning and set again every night. People were still too pushy while getting on and off the subway. The baristas at the coffeeshop still smiled pleasantly as they spelled his name wrong. Everything was the same. Only Kurt’s world had been turned upside down.
Though everything felt different to Kurt, he knew his life probably didn’t appear any different to outsiders. Blaine hadn’t been living in New York, anyway. Blaine wasn’t here now, but he had never been. The only difference was that now he never would be. Kurt wouldn’t get texts about his day anymore, or call Blaine before bed to say good night. There would be no visits, no more plans for the future.
It was a loss that Kurt didn’t have time to properly mourn. His job was as stressful as always and all of his friends tried to keep him busy after work. Two weeks had passed before Kurt decided he had to make some time for himself. Rachel had plans to spend the upcoming three day weekend on a trip to Boston with her dads, and Kurt had originally planned on going back to Ohio. He canceled his trip without informing Rachel, knowing that if she knew, she would try and convince him to come with her family so he wouldn’t be alone. He needed some time alone, though, to sit and cry and eat junk food and think horrible things about Blaine with no one to hold him back or tell him he was being unreasonable.
By 7pm on Friday, Kurt was sitting on his couch, two diet sodas and one piece of cheesecake into his own personal pity party. Rachel had left as soon as her 11 o’clock class had gotten out, and Kurt had the apartment to himself until Monday afternoon. He had taken the shoebox where he kept all the little notes Blaine had written him when he was in high school into the living room, intending to rip them up or, if he was feeling extra dramatic, light them on fire, but all he had been able to do was read them one by one, cry, and place them gently back into the box. When he had gotten through about half of the notes, he heard a key turning in the front door’s lock. Rachel hadn’t texted him about having any problems, so she must be in Boston by now. The only other person who had a key to the apartment was their neighbor, and that was only for emergencies. Something wasn’t right. Kurt got up from the couch quickly, hoping to have time to run into his bedroom to retrieve his Swiss army knife so he would at least have some protection from the intruder. It was too late, though. The door was open before Kurt could even reach his bedroom door, and a tall, brown-haired guy wearing jeans and polo shirt walked in, throwing a backpack on the floor and shutting the door behind him.
Kurt’s fear slowed down his reaction time a bit, and it took him a second to recognize that the intruder was Sebastian Smythe.
Though Sebastian was not someone Kurt particularly wanted in his apartment, he was relieved. At least Sebastian being there made some sense. A few weeks ago, Rachel had run into Sebastian at a party and, somehow, they had started cultivating a friendship. Kurt couldn’t imagine what they had in common, but she had gone out with him several times since they had met up, and each time, she tried to convince Kurt to accompany her. She claimed the two of them would get along if they actually tried, and promised that Sebastian was no longer actively trying to sabotage any former or current members of New Directions.
“You’d like him,” she had trilled. “He reminds me of you! And I think he’s lonely. He doesn’t seem to have made too many other friends in his classes. Isn’t that sad?”
“You haven’t made many friends in your classes, either,” Kurt had pointed out.
“I don’t need to. I have you!”
If he hadn’t just broken up with Blaine, Kurt may have been more interested in hanging out with Sebastian. Kurt was a forgiving person, and he didn’t hold much of a grudge against Sebastian anymore, but after what had happened with Blaine, Kurt didn’t think spending time with Sebastian would be the best idea. Rachel was not always the best judge of character, and if Sebastian started mocking him for losing Blaine, Kurt wasn’t sure he’d be able to do anything except burst into tears.
But Sebastian was here now, anyway, standing in the entryway of Kurt’s apartment, holding a key.
“What are you doing here?!” Kurt asked when he finally recovered from the shock. “Why do you have a key?”
Sebastian jumped at the sound of Kurt’s voice. “Fuck,” he said, grasping at his chest. “You scared me!”
“Oh, did I?” Kurt asked, his voice verging on hysterical. “How rude of me to question the person breaking into my apartment!”
“Hey, I didn’t break in,” Sebastian replied, holding up the key. “Rachel gave me a key. She said you were going to be gone all weekend.”
“I canceled my plans,” Kurt told him. Though he was glad to know that Rachel had given him the key, this whole situation still didn’t make a whole lot of sense. He took a deep breath to calm himself before asking for more information. “Why would she give you a key? Did you need to pick up something here, or…?”
Sebastian looked embarrassed. “No, I, uh… well, since you guys were supposed to both be away this weekend, Rachel said I could stay here.”
“Don’t you live in the dorms?”
“Yeah,” Sebastian replied. “My roommate’s girlfriend is visiting for the three day weekend, and even if I did get along with my roommate, I wouldn’t want to be stuck there listening to them fuck all weekend.”
Kurt could sympathize with that. When he had planned on going to NYADA, the idea of living in the dorms had unsettled him. “Why didn’t you just get a hotel room? Or tell them to get one?”
Sebastian shrugged. “It was Rachel’s idea. But, uh… yeah, a hotel is a good plan. I’m going to do that. Sorry.”
“Okay,” Kurt said. He was trying to decide if he wanted to ask for the spare key back. Kurt supposed it wasn’t Sebastian’s fault that Rachel had offered it to him, though, and the whole situation was already awkward enough. Kurt could just tell her to take the key back on Monday, after he gave her a stern lecture on giving people permission to live in their apartment while they were out of town.
“Okay,” Sebastian echoed, picking up his bag. “Uh, sorry. For walking in on you. I didn’t know that…”
“It’s fine,” Kurt assured him. Now that Kurt had calmed down, he really just wanted Sebastian to get out of the apartment. Kurt saw him looking around the room, taking in the junk food, the box of brightly colored notes, the crumpled tissues on the floor, and Kurt’s own tearstained face. He had been caught, and it was embarrassing. He knew he’d never hear the end of it from Rachel. “It was nice seeing you,” Kurt said, walking toward the door in hopes of getting Sebastian on his way. “Sorry about the mix-up.”
“Oh, it’s okay,” Sebastian said as Kurt opened the door for him. “I, uh…” He sighed. “Are you okay? I mean… did something happen to make your plans get canceled? Because you look sort of…”
“I’m fine,” Kurt snapped, dropping the guise of politeness he had been trying to uphold.
Sebastian wasn’t deterred. “Are you sure? Because Rachel seemed pretty sure that you were going to be gone all weekend, and…” He looked over the living room again, then back at Kurt’s face. “Is this about Blaine?”
Kurt frowned. “How did you know about that?”
“I’m friends with him on Facebook,” Sebastian replied with an apologetic shrug. “And Rachel told me.”
“Of course she did,” Kurt muttered. He let out a sigh before continuing. “Yes, this is about Blaine. I am spending the weekend alone to mourn the loss of my relationship. Is that okay with you?”
Sebastian lifted his hands in surrender. “Of course, it’s just… well, it’s been almost three weeks, right? I just figured you’d be out of the crying stage by now.”
“Three weeks is not a long time,” Kurt said, narrowing his eyes. “Not that you’d know, having no relationship experience.” Sebastian opened his mouth to reply, but Kurt barreled on. “And it’s not like I’ve been sitting here crying for three weeks. I’ve been busy. I had to schedule my crying time, Sebastian.”
“You are a very strange person,” Sebastian said, cocking his head to one side.
“And you are a very annoying person,” replied Kurt. “Can you go now?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Sebastian said, taking a step into the doorway. “But hey, if you ever get bored of…” He looked over at the box of notes on the couch. “Making origami?”
“They’re love notes Blaine wrote me in school,” Kurt explained. “I’m going to burn them.”
Kurt expected Sebastian to laugh, but he just looked confused. “Why would you burn nice things someone said about you?”
“Um…” Kurt thought for a moment as he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “I guess… they’re not really relevant anymore? I don’t know.” He sighed. “I wasn’t actually going to burn them,” he admitted. “I was just reading them.”
“Well, that sounds like a delightful way to get over a break-up,” Sebastian said, “but as I was saying, if you get sick of that, you should give me a call. We can go out or something. Do you have my number?”
Kurt frowned. He didn’t know which was stranger - Sebastian asking him to go out, or asking Kurt if he had his number. “Why would I have your number?”
“I don’t know,” Sebastian said with a shrug. “Rachel tends to overshare?” He held up the key in his hand as proof.
“Good point,” Kurt replied. “But she didn’t give me your number. And, uh… I’m not really interested in going out this weekend, anyway.”
“Oh,” Sebastian said, looking disappointed. “Okay. Well, um, sorry again. I’ll see you around, maybe.”
“Maybe,” Kurt agreed, watching Sebastian start to head down the corridor. He felt guilty. Sebastian must be pretty lonely, if he’s so desperate to hang out with Kurt. Maybe Rachel was right, and he was just looking for friends. He had been expecting a place to stay, too, and even though Kurt knew that Sebastian would have no trouble paying for a hotel, it seemed that he would have preferred to stay here instead, and it wasn’t really his fault that Kurt had lied to Rachel about being away. “Hey, Sebastian?” Kurt called.
Sebastian turned around. “Yeah?”
“Were you planning on sleeping in Rachel’s room?”
“Uh, yeah,” Sebastian said. “She actually told me if I touched anything in your room you’d murder me.”
“Well, she was right,” Kurt replied. “But… you can still stay in her room, if you want? I mean, I’ll be here, but you won’t bother me too much.”
Sebastian looked unsure. “Yeah? That wouldn’t bother you?”
“Probably not,” Kurt said. “Unless you’re really loud and it disturbs my moping.”
Sebastian laughed. “I won’t be,” he promised. “I have studying to do. I’d be pretty quiet while I was here.”
“Well,” Kurt said, taking a deep breath. “I guess there’s no reason for you to go find a hotel, then.”
“You’re sure?” Sebastian asked. “Because I don’t mind…”
Kurt wasn’t sure, not really, but his weekend of mourning had not had a very auspicious start. Maybe being busy was better than sitting around crying. The world was going to keep on turning whether Kurt allowed himself an appropriate break-up grief period or not, and at the moment, the hopeful look on Sebastian’s face was more appealing than that box full of notes on the couch.
“Yeah,” Kurt said, holding the door open wide and motioning for Sebastian to come back inside. “Come on in.”