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In the heat of battle, almost no one noticed the subtle movement before the attack happened. If the target of that spear were himself, he might not have seen it coming - but his hero’s life was in danger, so he did the only thing he could think of: after screaming a warning, Haurchefant jumped in between the aether-infused weapon and the Warrior of Light, using his shield to protect himself. What happened next came and went in the span of a second: the spear broke through the metal barrier with a bright flash, then he felt the searing heat piercing through his chest, followed by excruciating pain. But what hurt him the most was the horrified look that distorted Mai Yumeno’s face - her lovely brown eyes went wide and he could see rather than hear her yell his name. Soon enough he was propped up by someone - judging by the deep voice and dark mess of hair, it was ser Aymeric -, and then he felt Mai take his hand in hers. Despite the pain and the burning he felt in his torso, as his consciousness started to drift away, the only thing that really mattered to him was how obviously distraught Mai was. She squeezed his hand harder when she noticed his eyelids flutter, and as a last message to his dearest friend, he mustered all the strength he could, looked her in the eyes and muttered: “Do not look at me so, my friend… A smile better suits a hero.” He saw her close her eyes, take a deep breath, and then she smiled: it was a big, toothy smile, but her eyebrows were still turned up and there were tears flowing down her cheeks. With the last drop of life he had, he gently smiled back, and closed his own eyes for good. As he floated away to nothingness, Haurchefant wondered if there was anything he could have done different.
In the heat of battle, almost no one noticed the subtle movement before the attack happened. If the target of that spear were himself, he might not have seen it come - wait, this sounds familiar, like it had happened before… No, there was no time to hesitate, for his hero’s life was in danger, and he did the only thing he could think of: after screaming a warning, Haurchefant jumped in between the aether-infused weapon and the Warrior of Light, using his shield to protect himself. What happened next came and went in the span of a second: the spear broke through the metal barrier with a bright flash, then he felt the searing heat piercing through his chest, followed by excruciating pain. But what hurt him the most was that when looked over at Mai to see if she was unharmed, she had her gaze elsewhere. When she finally looked at him, it was with contempt and disappointment; she ran closer to where ser Aymeric gently held him in his arms and stomped before roaring: “What are you doing? Leave him there, Thordan is escaping! Quick, we have to go after them!”.
As his consciousness started to drift away, Haurchefant noticed the Warrior of Light come closer and kneel beside him (this also felt very familiar, but it was most probably his delirious mind trying to avoid death). Then she leaned in until her face was almost touching his, and from her mouth came words that would be engraved into his soul even in the Lifestream:
“This is all your fault. They escaped, and it’s all because of you! Well, at least when you’re dead you won’t be a burden anymore.”
If there was any drop of energy left in Haurchefant’s body, it would not have survived that statement; the man closed his eyes in pain, wondering how much of a fool he was for committing such a grave mistake.
In the heat of battle, almost no one noticed the subtle movement before the attack happened (Fury take him, this had to have happened before!). If the target of that spear were himself, he might not have seen it coming - but his hero’s life was in danger, so he did the only thing he could think of: after screaming a warning, Haurchefant jumped in between the aether-infused weapon and the Warrior of Light, using his shield to protect himself.
Only he wasn’t fast enough, and from where he stood he could see very clearly how the spear of light pierced through Mai’s chest, pushing her lithe body to the ground while she coughed a spurt of blood. He let go of his arms and they hit the floor with a loud bang, but he didn’t care; the other people around him moved in a blur as he carefully took Mai into his arms, eyes darting from the big gap in her torso to her pale face. He heard Alphinaud murmur healing incantations while ser Aymeric swore angrily. He tried saying something, but no sound came from his lips - soon enough he felt hot tears stream down his face as he watched Mai’s gaze turn heavensward and her breathing become almost unnoticeable. If only he were faster, if only he had healing abilities, but he had nothing to offer. All Haurchefant could do as his hero died in his arms was sob, cursing himself for his shortcomings. “It’s a-all right…” He heard Mai whisper, her voice raspy and low. “You… You’re not-thing but a bastard, h-how could y-you… have sav…”. Before she could finish spewing those damning words, the light in her brown eyes faded, and she fell limp. Oh, how he wished he had perished instead of her, because now all he had was…
According to the latest weather reports, this was supposed to be one of the coldest nights in Ishgard in years. But when Haurchefant suddenly woke up in the darkness, his silver-blue hair was damp with sweat, and he was gasping as if he had been drowning. Trying to calm down, he took a deep breath, and looked around to assess his surroundings. The only window in the room was covered by a dark, heavy pair of wine-red curtains, and there was no sound around him aside from his breathing; that is, until he heard a soft sigh and, as his eyes grew accustomed to the dark environment, he was finally able to see Mai sleeping soundly next to him in bed; she was laying on her side, with her back turned to him, and was wearing the very same tunic he was given once he was brought back from the family mausoleum. Haurchefant felt a smile curl up his lips as he remembered the last couple days - how he met ser Aymeric and Francel again, and was guided through the Firmament, only to be mercilessly pelted by snowballs from the children who had recently moved in there; then, after they had all retired to their own bedrooms, Mai showed up to his door, barely able to look him in the eye, saying she couldn’t fall asleep, and asking for company. His smile grew bigger as the recollection from what came after dawned on him, and he extended a hand to gently brush Mai’s hair away from her face. He stopped himself midway, because he was trembling so much he feared it would instead wake her up.
When the idea of disrupting her sleep - and by extent, causing her trouble - appeared in his mind, he felt his throat close and tears welled up in his eyes. The nightmares’ images came back like a flood and it was such a strong impact that he felt breathless and soon enough he was crying like a child. Then he remembered Mai was asleep beside him and quickly covered his mouth to stifle the sobs; his chest felt impossibly heavy, and it seemed like an iron hand was squeezing his heart. Breathing seemed impossible, but he forced the cold air through his nose and then through his mouth. He was fully aware that it was nothing but a dream, but still couldn’t stop himself from feeling like he was dying a much more terrible death, one brought by hurting the person he loved the most. His inability to be rational frustrated him even further, and it only got worse when a little voice in his head started pointing out every single mistake he had ever made, and how they all made him unworthy of being loved by the woman sleeping next to him - and to top it all off, he would end up interrupting her sleep with his ugly crying. Haurchefant considered getting up and leaving the room, but it was too late; it didn’t take long for Mai to stir and stretch, and the first thing she did when her eyes met Haurchefant’s was to smile, and then frown once she noticed his tears. She then quickly sat up and almost fell over his lap when she got tangled in the blankets, making Haurchefant laugh through his nose. After regaining balance, she sat on her knees and asked “May I touch you?”. Her voice was delicate and quiet, but the question sounded so loud in the night silence that Haurchefant instinctively shrunk away from her, much to Mai’s worry. Feeling even more disappointed in himself, he straightened up and answered Mai’s question by doing a curt positive nod, before saying in a trembling voice “Please, please touch me, I can’t fight alone anymore”. Admitting how vulnerable he was was not an easy feat, but he had no strength to go against it either.
He didn’t move when Mai straddled his legs and sat on his thighs facing him, but tried to look away when he felt her smaller hands gently cup his tear-stricken cheeks. After a few silent seconds, he let out a deep sigh and met Mai’s gaze with his own. She had the gentlest smile on her lips, and there was so much love in her eyes that he almost forgot about his bad dreams; then the harsh, cruel words she had said in them came back to him - “This is all your fault”, “You could never have saved me” - and he looked away from her again. Despite knowing full well the true Mai would never accuse him of such things, he was obviously affected by the possibility that she could, given the right circumstances - so he stopped trying to hold back the tears and let out a wail, which made Mai gasp in surprise. Soon enough she had him in her arms, holding his face against the crook of her neck, whispering soothing words and gently rubbing his back; Haurchefant, in turn, wrapped his arms around her torso with all the strength he could muster, and sobbed against her warm skin.
Once he managed to calm down a little, Mai made an effort to sit back on his thighs and cupped his face once again before saying: “You have to breathe. We can do it together, ok? Can you do it?” Her voice was even smaller, and this time it didn’t startle Haurchefant, so he nodded positively. At his response, Mai smiled and took in a deep breath, motioning for Haurchefant to do the same; little by little, he seemed to calm down enough to stop the tears. Mai cleaned up what she could with her fingers and then brushed his bangs away from his eyes before kissing him on the forehead. Breathing normally again, Haurchefant fell back against the headboard, and nearly whined when he felt Mai’s weight leave his legs; before he could complain, however, she sat next to him and pulled him into her arms once again so he could lay his head on her chest. He let out a satisfied hum as he adjusted himself, wrapping his arm around her waist as she went back to brushing his hair with her fingers. It took him a couple minutes to gather enough courage to clear his throat and, without looking up, say to his companion: “I am terribly sorry for waking you up, my dear. Especially when what you found was… that much of a mess”. He then tried to get up, but Mai kept him in place, and he was reminded that despite her small figure, she was still one of the strongest beings in the star.
“You don’t need to worry.” She replied, now rubbing his back in a soothing way. “I have been in your place more times than I can count, and I am fully aware that there’s little to be done when we feel like that.” And with that, she placed a kiss on the top of his head. “If there’s anything I can do to help, even if it’s just listening, I’m all ears!”
Still embarrassed about what he considered to be a horrid display of weakness, Haurchefant stayed in silence for a while, listening to Mai’s heartbeat under him. He smiled a little to himself, knowing how she was probably imagining herself with ears literally covering her whole body, and a wave of calmness washed over him. How could he deny her, when she offered her hand with such love and kindness? So he sighed once again, before trying to put what tormented him into words.
“I… I had a bad dream. About what happened at the Vault”. Haurchefant heard Mai gulp, but she otherwise stayed silent, most probably waiting for him to continue. Her only reaction was to hold him closer and kiss his head once again. At last, she murmured: “That was awful, to say the least. I can only imagine how it was for you”.
Feeling a little braver, Haurchefant replied: “In fact, it was a sequence of dreams.” After overcoming the initial embarrassment, he could feel the words come like a torrent, and he couldn’t stop even if he tried. A part of his brain noted that Mai sometimes gets in a similar state, usually when she talks about her interests, and it comforted him a little that they shared that similarity. While he talked, all she did was interject every now and then to show she was listening, and didn't say anything more until he had completely finished. After talking for what seemed like hours, Haurchefant felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders, but suddenly feeling selfish, he tried to minimize how affected he was. “Of course, I am fully aware that ‘twas nothing but my own imagination working against me, so I apologize once again for waking you up, my love.”. Fighting his instincts to get up and pretend nothing happened, he stayed in Mai’s arms, feeling her warmth radiate through his naked torso.
“Like I said” he heard her complain. “You wouldn’t be crying like that if it were nothing! Besides, it’s only to be expected that you… Hm… still think of what happened.” She squeezed him a little, before opening her arms wide, and he felt her chest rumble with laughter. “You don’t need to suffer on your own. I’m here to listen to you, and share your pain. My arms are wide open. Literally.”
What could Haurchefant do, if not laugh along? What good could he have done to the world to deserve such a blessing? The silence that followed was much more comfortable and intimate, and it was only interrupted by a yawn Mai couldn’t hold back. That was the signal he was waiting for to gently pull her down so she could lay properly on the bed, his head still glued to her chest. She yawned again before adjusting herself in a more comfortable position, and despite being obviously drowsy, she still decided to talk to him until he too felt like going back to sleep. “Now, how about I tell you why your dreams were completely wrong about me? Rationalizing might help a bit.”
Haurchefant sighed and steeled himself to hear what she had in mind. “Well, to begin, I must say again that I missed you so much.” Despite the constant yawns, Mai stayed true to her world and went through each of the worst aspects of his nightmares, and despite his initial dread, he caught himself chuckling every time he heard her saying “Oh, gods, I would never say it like that!” or “Let me tell you, I did get mad at someone, and you don’t want to know how harsh the punishment was.” She then described how she and her comrades had fought Thordan, and how she had dealt with Zephirin herself. “I made sure he knew exactly what he was paying for. I know he was tempered, but I would never be able to forgive the people who took you away from me.” While they talked, just according to Mai’s plan, he assumed, Haurchefant felt his eyelids get heavier and heavier, and he sighed, snuggling against his beloved. Before he could say good night, however, he noticed her breathing steadily and when he looked up, he saw her eyes were already shut. Haurchefant chuckled to himself as he pulled her down until her head hit the pillow, then left a soft kiss to her neck and adjusted himself to lay on her chest once again. It didn’t take long for him to fall back asleep, this time to a dreamless, quiet rest, for he knew that, even should the bad dreams come back, he didn’t have to fight them on his own.