Chapter Text
"He should be here by now, shouldn't he?" Elle asked, a note of frustration in her voice. Fragile laughed, "So impatient! Its the guy's first day, he's probably nervous, just go easy on him, OK?" Elle rolled her eyes. She took her job seriously and expected others to do the same. She wasn't one to excuse tardiness and was always punctual herself, so she was always annoyed when others didn't follow her example. "Besides," Fragile continued, "You'll have to be nice to him because he's shadowing you for a few deliveries before I let him go out alone. And before you protest, he seems like a nice guy, just give him a chance and be nice." Elle frowned and turned to check the label on a cargo pod behind her, "You said he had experience, why does he need to shadow me?" Fragile shrugged, "I'm trying to be a good boss, onboard him into the company with a smile and all that. Just please, please, I know it doesn't come naturally to you all the time, but be nice." Elle turned back to Fragile, "I'll try, but at the first sign of him acting like a dick or being lazy or not pulling his weight, I'm warning you now, I'll-" Suddenly she noticed the man standing behind Fragile in the now opened doorway of their delivery depot within Port Knot City. Fragile turned, a smirk on her face, and Elle just opened and closed her mouth like a fish. "What will you do?" the man asked, clearly amused, but in a way that was friendly, not offended. Elle shook her head, "Pay me no mind, I was talking about... someone else," she stuttered. He nodded and pretended like that was clear the whole time. "Gotcha," he said, rubbing a hand through the stubble on his chin, "Well, to put it out there, I don't intend to act like a dick or be lazy and I'm always happy to pull my own weight, so you should have no concerns there, ma'am." The silence was awkward. Elle was not only embarrassed, but also a little speechless. So this must be the guy. He was tall, broad shouldered, with dark hair slicked back, a few strands loose over his forehead. He had a wicked look in his eye, a cheeky looking smile and she couldn't deny, he was handsome. And he was looking at her just the same. Noticing her slender figure, lean and toned under her porter suit, her green eyes like a pair of emeralds glittering endlessly. Her full lips, the long, dark hair that she had pulled back into a messy braid. "The name's Higgs," he said, holding out his hand to shake hers, completely blanking Fragile. Elle reached out gingerly to take his hand, and gasped at how big it was compared to her own. He looked into her eyes intensely, and she knew straight away that this man had never been nervous a day in his life. "Y-you're late," Elle stammered. Higgs clicked his tongue and turned to Fragile. "I am, and I'm sorry about that, had to take shelter from the timefall for a short while but, what matters is I'm here and ready to get started." Fragile smiled then, more knowing than friendly, as she looked between Higgs and her sister with a look that said "I know what's going on here."
"Let me introduce you properly, Higgs," Fragile said, "This is my sister, Eleanor Veil, she's my best porter, upheld her five star rating for years now," she smiled proudly at Elle, who hated when Fragile made such a fuss. "You can just call me Elle," she offered to Higgs with a small smile. He nodded politely. "Fragile's been singing your praises - says you have a knack for keepin' things movin' smooth. Not easy in times like these, what with the timefall, the BT's... I reckon it takes someone with grit and courage to keep this operation going." She almost wanted to laugh until she realised he was being genuine and sincere, and then her expression softened. "I just do what I can," she smiled, "Deliveries are what keeps us all connected, and that's worth the risk and the effort." He was caught off guard by that, finding her sentiment endearing. He stared at her a beat too long, clearly, as Fragile cut in. "Don't go staring Higgs," she smirked, "Elle's the real deal - sharp as a tack and tough as nails, she'll keep you safe out there when you're shadowing her. She keeps me in line half the time." Elle rolled her eyes, "Don't listen to her, I just try not to let her overwork herself or do anything stupid." Higgs winked and smirked, "Sounds like you'll be keepin' me in line too then." Elle's cheeks flushed and she turned away, and Higgs gave a quiet, low chuckle. He couldn't deny that he loved flirting with a pretty girl and seeing her blush. And god damn, Elle was more than just pretty. Without realising, he dragged his bottom lip through his teeth as he watched her bend to pick up a cargo pod and start moving it to the waiting pick up off-roader. Fragile caught him looking and stared at him wide eyed. "Hey," she hissed, amused, "Eyes up." He laughed and got to helping load up the truck.
The first delivery Higgs would be shadowing Elle on was delivering food and water treatment chemicals to a small community up in the mountains, an hour's drive from Port Knot, and then a grueling climb up the mountain. The whole drive, Elle and Higgs had talked - they both felt comfortable in one another's presence, despite the rocky first impression. As soon as they'd pulled out of the depot, she'd apologised. "Look, before we get going I just want to say I'm sorry for my behaviour when you first walked in, I'm used to working alone and only having to rely on myself and I guess I'm just pessimistic when it comes to working with other people," she said, keeping her eyes on the road to avoid awkward eye contact. He had smiled at that, also keeping his eyes ahead. "Nothing to apologise for, I get it," he replied, "And besides, its good to work with someone who doesn't mince their words." There was a beat of silence, and then he continued, "So, what brought you to Fragile Express? Did you work with Bridges first?" She snorted at that. "Absolutely not. I don't much like feeling like I'm being spied on, so Bridges would never be the one for me. No, I..." she paused, wondering if it was too soon to trauma dump on this man, but she figured he'd already seen her acting like an asshole and she got the feeling from him that he wasn't easily shocked, so she decided to press on, "I was orphaned when I was a kid. My mom and dad, they were at home, I was out picking rocks a few miles out. We lived in a pretty safe area as far as BTs go and there were no MULEs or raiders or wild animals or anything dangerous, it was heaven, honestly, just us and a few other families who all decided to build bunkers next to each other, a real community. And then... a voidout. No one knows what caused it, but I would hedge a guess that one of the elderly members of the community had died in their sleep and been left a little too long. I saw the blast from where I was standing, ran back hoping I'd find my parents had got out. But just saw the crater, the big BT handprint at the bottom... And yeah, I guess I wandered for a while, lived off scraps and pity, and then finally found my way to Port Knot, and thats where Fragile and our... her dad picked me up. And the rest is history, or so they say." She laughed sadly, and then sighed, feeling like she'd said too much. Higgs looked like he was going to reach out to rest a hand on her shoulder, but thought twice. "Well, god damn," he whispered, "I'm real sorry to hear that." She nodded as a thank you and then took a deep breath, eager to take the focus from her. "But what about you, how did you come to Fragile Express?" she asked. Now it was his turn to wonder if he wanted to trauma dump, but he felt it was only fair after she'd shared her pain.
He took a deep breath and told her his life story. "I guess I kinda had a similar start to you, parents died when I was a kid, and my uncle raised me in his bunker. Never saw the outside world, and thought that all there was was the bunker. Anytime I asked about outside, he'd... well he'd beat me. And that was the only life I knew." She could see his fists clenched on his knees, sensing this was difficult to talk about and feeling he was going to reveal something big. "Then one day, I guess I went too far, and he, uh, he was choking me. And I could feel myself slipping away. There was a knife nearby and..." he stopped, cursing under his breath as he knew he'd said to much. But she didn't look at him in disgust like he expected, didn't try to change the subject. Instead, she quietly said, "I hope you used that knife." He looked at her, really looked. She turned to look at him too, a look of sincerity on her face as well as concern for him. He nodded slowly. "I did. Stuck it right in his neck. And he died. And I had to drag his body outside when it started going necro, threw it in a tar pit and that was how I knew I had it... DOOMS. The BTs came and consumed him and, I don't know, I guess since then I've always had a spark of the macabre in me. But I got real interested in helping people too, connecting them... Felt drawn to Fragile Express and wanted to join forces, so... here I am." He laughed with a slight nervous bravado, "So, uh, still feel good about being out here on your own with a murderer?" She pulled the truck to a halt at the foot of the mountain and turned to face him. "I reckon if you hadn't done what you did, it would have been you thrown in that tar pit, or causing a voidout that would have killed your uncle anyway. He got what he deserved. What you did in your past is none of my business, its what you do going forward, as part of this team, that matters to me," she said, earnestly, "Now come on, we've got a hell of a climb ahead of us and we need to load up our backpacks with this cargo." She climbed out of the truck and walked round to open the truck bed, moving fast clipping pods into her pack, gesturing for him to do the same.
The climb was hard, the ladders and rope anchors left by previous porters giving some respite against the oppressive pain in his legs, but every time he looked up and saw her hopping daintily from rock to rock, barely breaking a sweat, he knew he couldn't let her see he was fighting for his life. They reached an outcrop on the mountain side that gave them some respite from the wind, but Elle pointed to the final ladder that would take them to the top. "Not much further," she shouted over the whistling wind. She grabbed the ladder with both hands, putting one foot on the bottom rung, and when she transferred her weight onto it, the ladder jolted, slipping a few inches. She screamed as her hands lost their grip, the weight of the cargo on her pack pulling her backwards. She was falling and this was a fall she wouldn't survive. But like lightning, Higgs' hands flashed out, grabbing her arm and pulling her back to the ledge, clinging her tight to his chest. "Christ, woman!" he shouted, "You tryin' to get yourself killed?!" She took a deep breath, her heart feeling like it was going to beat out of her chest. "Thank God you were here," she laughed, and turned to make the attempt again. "Are you crazy?" Higgs shouted over the wind, "You just almost died!" She shook her head, "I was fine, you were here," she smiled, "And besides, these people need their delivery." And with that she pushed the ladder back into its place and made the climb. He watched her go, in awe of the bravery and courage she showed as he followed her up the ladder.
They made the delivery to a very grateful recipient, and Elle turned from the delivery terminal and began to walk down a flat path. "Don't we need to go back down that way?" Higgs asked, pointing to the ladder and the sheer drop. She turned around and smiled. "No, there is a path we could have driven up, but I just wanted to see how you handled the climb," the smile turned wicked and she giggled as she turned away, gesturing for him to follow. He laughed and shook his head, "So you're telling me you risked your life just to prove a point? And after we shared our secrets in the truck?" She shrugged and laughed again, "Welcome to Fragile Express, I wish I could tell you I'll be easier to work with from here on out, but, one shouldn't lie." He smirked at that, "Well, darlin', I am a man who likes a challenge so I'll appreciate you not going too easy on me." She turned to look at him, and he looked right back. She couldn't deny that there was something magnetic about him. He was easy to talk to, funny, handsome, he seemed like a kind guy and it was obvious he was feeling something too. But she had to focus on her work. Besides, she knew Fragile would only tease, or say something about professionalism at work.
They completed several more deliveries together, their final shadowing job being an overnight delivery mission to drop off materials to an old mine that needed fixing up. The truck bed was packed up with chiral crystal cannisters and pods of resins, metals and special aloys. By the time they arrived at the mine, deposited all the materials and set the terminal to begin operations, it was pitch black outside. Elle's cuff link flashed up, a call from Fragile. "Hey guys," she said, "I just got the ping that you made the delivery, well done. There's a private room in the mining facility but it looks like theres only one shower and one bed, so you're going to have to fight over who gets the bed and, I don't know, close your eyes whilst the other is showering. Higgs, no funny business with my sister." Elle gasped, "Fragile!" she hissed, face turning red, "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Higgs just laughed, enjoying the banter. "Don't worry, boss," he said in his usual cocky drawl, "I'll take reallll good care of her" He winked at Elle with a smirk and she just sighed, cut Fragile off and stepped on to the turn table that lowered them to the private room entrance.
At this point, they'd been on around ten deliveries together over the space of a month, and had grown much closer. Fragile had noticed something between them. Part of her wanted them to remain professional, but then there was a part of her that so desperately wanted Elle to find someone to have fun with and share her life with. It was rare, since the Death Stranding, her father told her, for people to find love. Most of the world had become asexual, with people fearing growing an emotional connection with each other due to the uncertainty of life. Seeing Elle and Higgs building what appeared to be a blossoming connection made her feel some hope. She noticed the lingering looks, the way she always found a way to have their knees just touching when sitting in meetings or at dinner. She'd clocked how comfortable Elle was with him, and when Fragile decided to ask Elle if there was anything she wanted to tell her, Elle simply said that they were just friends who enjoyed a little harmless flirting. Fragile knew that was bullshit. She'd seen the look of disappointment on Elle's face when she'd asked her to make a quick overnight delivery alone, leaving Higgs behind in his bunker at the depot. When she confronted Higgs, he simply said "Your sister is a good woman," but his eyes looked miles away. That was all Fragile needed to know. But she still couldn't resist a little taunt here and there. When she caught Elle looking at Higgs' ass one day, she asked her, loudly, if she'd like to borrow her camera to take a photo, as it would last longer. When Higgs came in with some flowers he'd been given by a prepper in a trial solo delivery trip to a small bunker just up the road, and handed them to Elle, Fragile made a big deal about how she liked flowers too. She loved seeing their shocked faced, realising she wasn't blind to their flirtations.
Back in the private room, Elle placed her pack down and pulled off her porter suit, and boots, bare feet on the cold floor, now wearing her grey camo leggings and grey t-shirt underneath. Higgs followed suit, hanging his own porter suit on the peg next to hers. She laughed at the length of his suit compared to hers. He looked over and laughed with her, "Oh, right, sorry I couldn't fit into one of yours or Fragile's child sized suits," he snorted. She rolled her eyes at his cheap shot. "I'm going to take a shower," she said, her eye contact heavy with something he wasn't sure of. "I'll, uh, I'll turn this way, read over some reports" he said, politely. She smirked and climbed into the shower cubicle, the frosted glass surround maintaining her modesty as she undressed. The hot water cascaded over her skin, and it felt heavenly. She was always astounded at how tar and mud and chiral dust managed to get under her porter suit and clothes and onto her skin. She watched as the muck swirled with the water and was sucked out through the plug at her feet, and began to rub the provided soap into her skin and hair. After rinsing off, she allowed the driers to blow cool air over her skin, drying her body and hair almost instantly, and grabbed the provided pyjamas from the little cabinet in the shower. Once she was dressed in the white garments, she turned, noticing that through the frosted glass she wasn't looking at the back of Higgs' head. No, he was definitely watching her. She smirked, knowing deep down that should probably creep her out, but she had been tip toeing around the "will he, won't he" thoughts for a month now, wanting so badly for him to make a move - maybe this was the start of something?
She stepped out of the cubicle and he whipped his head back around. "You know I could see your face pointing this way through the glass, right?" she laughed. He turned back round, pretending as though he'd never been looking in the first place, feigning dramatic shock. "Ain't no way," he said, "I swear some people just see what they want to see." He couldn't hide that his face was going red, and she couldn't hide that she was breathing a little faster. He cut the silence, moving towards the shower. "My turn," he said, "And make sure you definitely look the other way, you won't want to see this" he motioned at his body as he stepped into the cubicle. "What if..." she stopped herself, chickening out before saying something too bold, and rushed to sit on the bed, legs crossed, facing the wall. She heard his deep laugh, imagining him shaking his head as he closed the shower door.
She listened to the water, the sounds of his hands rubbing the soap into his skin, the sudden crash of water hitting the floor as he rinsed soap from his hair. It took every drop of willpower to not turn around and look. Even though she wanted to, and she knew he wanted her to, she couldn't deny she was a little scared of what would happen next if she looked. So instead, she waited patiently as he took the longest shower known to man. When she finally heard the driers, and the creak of the shower door opening, she turned to look and gulped. He was wearing the pyjama bottoms, the top in his hand, wringing water out of it. "Got the damn shirt wet," he said, clicking his tongue. She didn't know where to look. She watched as the muscles in his forearms tensed with each wring of the shirt, the tendons in his hands popping up and down as he squeezed it. His broad shoulders, muscular and toned, the planes of his chest, with a light cover of hair. The pyjama bottoms hung low, exposing the trail of hair from his belly button, down beneath the waistband. She couldn't stop herself from biting her lip, staring way too long. "Hello? You there?" came his voice, absolutely dripping in amusement. "What?" she said, as if coming out of a trance. "I asked if you know where I can get a dry shirt from," he said, smirking again. "I uh... I don't" she answered, her mind completely blank. "Let me go and find out." And before he could speak again, she jumped off the bed and darted, bare foot, out of the private room and along the hallway, past the vehicle hangar, all the way down to the supply closet at the end. When she got there, she opened the closet, looking through for a dry shirt. It was only when she found one that she realised she'd been holding her breath, letting it out with a sharp gasp.
"What the fuck?" she whispered to herself. Did he do that on purpose? Why was she so flustered? Sure, she liked him, and it was becoming more obvious that he liked her, but this was moving a bit too fast. Was it though? Her thoughts countered. They'd known each other for a month, they'd blatantly been flirting with each other, so the feelings were mutual. They'd trauma dumped on each other the first day they met, for Christ's sake. She lifted her cufflink and called Fragile, because what else would she do?
"You OK?" came Fragile's tired voice on the other side, "Its late, whats going on?" Elle took a deep breath and told Fragile she'd seen Higgs naked. This woke her up. "WHAT?" came Fragile's shocked response. "Well, not like, 'naked' naked, but he had no top on, and I stared. God, Fragile I stared way too long. Do you think he likes me? Do you think I like him? Am I being ridiculous? What's going to happen when I go back to the room? Can you come and get me?" Fragile gave a gentle laugh and took a deep breath before responding. "I think we both know he likes you, Elle," she responded, putting on her best big sister voice, "Its obvious he likes you, and he'd be a fool if he didn't. He's always looking at you, talking about you, and I'm sure he's always thinking about you. But, how do you feel? What do you want to happen when you go back to the room?" Elle took a deep, steadying breath. "I do," she said back, calmer now, "I do like him. I think I could love him maybe. I guess I want some sort of confirmation from him that he feels the same way, so I don't feel like such a fool." Fragile nodded, and hummed in agreement. "Well then, as your big sister, and as your boss, your next delivery is to deliver yourself back to the room, tell him how you feel, and report back at your earliest convenience with what happens next," she said, smirking at the last part, "And remember, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do."
Elle took a deep breath and thanked Fragile, ending the call. She felt like she had a purpose to herself now, and marched back down the corridor, stopping outside the door to the private room, forehead resting against it, hand holding the door handle. She took a few more breaths and then heard "Well, are you comin' back in or not?" She smiled, turned the handle and stepped in. He was laid on the bed, a smile on his face. "I have to tell you, before you start, the walls in this place aren't as soundproof as we thought," he drawled, standing to come and take the shirt from her hand. She closed her eyes, muttering a quiet "Shit" under her breath. "I'm not just saying this because you want me to, I'm saying this because now I've heard your feelings, and I guess its only fair you hear mine," he said, and she was suddenly aware how close he was. "I do like you, Elle, and I think I could... I could love you too." The silence between them was suddenly deafening. She could feel Fragile's voice in her head screaming "Go for it!"
"What now?" he asked, filling the silence. She lifted her face to look up into his eyes, sensing that they were getting even closer, feeling as though gravity itself was pulling them closer, and they had no control over it. Suddenly, their noses were practically touching, and then he felt the soft petals of her lips brushing his own. Both their eyes fluttered closed as they pushed into a kiss, just a gentle peck at first, before they both pulled back and looked into each others eyes for a beat. Then, all the feelings they had for each other, the lust, the want, the desire, pushed them back together, this time their lips crashed together, desperate and unrestrained. This isn't the tender first kiss either of them had planned, this was hunger, weeks and months of longing finally breaking loose. He tangled one hand in her hair, the other snaking down her back until it found her ass, his huge hand kneading it like bread dough. She moaned into his mouth and bucked her hips towards him, both arms wrapped under his arms, hands clutching his shoulders like she was holding on for dear life. He pulled away then, breath ragged, forehead leaning against hers.
"You sure about this?" he asked, voice hoarse, almost begging, "Because we're about to go past a point of no return. Once I start, I won't be able to stop, darlin'." She looked up at him through thick eyelashes, all the worry and fear she'd had before was long gone. "Then don't stop," she whispered back, already pulling his mouth back down to hers. That shattered whatever restraint he had left. He lifted her off the ground, and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her to the bed, laying her down gently. She used her legs to pull him down onto her, giving a hiss of approval as she felt his weight pressing her into the mattress. Their mouths met again, but this time it was deeper, hotter, tongue swirling around each other and fighting for control. It was clumsy, messy, teeth clashing, breathless laughs between moans and kisses, but also achingly tender. His calloused hands slowly exploring her body as though he was mapping every curve and committing it to memory, her lips tracing along his jaw, relishing the rough, scratchy stubble against her soft lips.
He pulled her shirt off and lifted himself up to look down at her, speechless as his hands wandered over her breasts, palming them, running his thumbs over her nipples, looking like a pair of raspberries, firm and excited to see him. He hooked his thumbs under the waist band of her pyjama bottoms next, slowly sliding them down over her hips, down her legs, letting out a strained moan at the sight of her now completely naked underneath him. She had bruises and and a few scrapes and scars here and there from years of portering, but they told stories and he leant down to kiss a trail from a scar the shape of an asterisk on her shoulder, running his lips down over her nipple to then connect to a scrape on her ribcage, then a bruise on her hip bone, moving all the way down her leg to plant a kiss on the tip of her toe, before draping the leg over his shoulder and settling down to position his head between her thighs. He could see she was already glistening wet for him, and he looked up to see her eyes looking back down at him, wide eyed, when he realised. "This your first time?" he asked her, earnestly. She nodded her breathing coming more ragged, a mix of nerves and arousal. "Don't worry, sugar, I'll take good care of you" he whispered against her cunt. And his tongue darted out, taking a long, languid lick between her folds, letting out a strained moan at the smell and taste of her. He felt her body arch, and a gasp escaped her mouth. He continued with a devilishly slow rhythm, coaxing sounds out of her she didn't even know she could make, his hands, gentle but firm at the same time, gripping her thighs to keep her still. She found herself grinding against his mouth, and after what felt like years of dying from the most incredible torture, she felt something building within her, and then it snapped. She arched her back as far as it would go, toes curling behind his head, hand instinctively grabbing a fist of his hair and pulling his face closer to her body as she cried out. But he didn't stop, not even when her body began to jolt and buck like she was being electrocuted. She felt her clit go completely sensitive and wriggled to get away, but he pulled her back. "I can't get enough of this," he sighed, voice muffled, against her, as if he was speaking to her pussy and not her.
When he finally relented, she could barely breath, and laid there, staring at the ceiling as he climbed up her body again, coming face to face with her again. "What did you just do?" she panted, looking into his icy blue eyes. He stroked her hair away from her face and smiled, "Something I've wanted to do for a while," he said, a proud smile on his face, "What do you want to do next?" she asked, already having something on her mind as she felt his cock pressing into her hip. He laughed, low and predatory, "I think you know what I want to do next," he whispered, searching her face for approval. She nodded, but he sensed apprehension. "Will it... will it hurt?" she asked, her face turning slightly red as she felt the shame of potentially ruining the moment. But he looked into her eyes, hand cupping her face. "I've heard tell that it can, at first, but it depends on the people," he said, "But most important thing to remember, Elle, is we can stop at any time. And we don't have to do this now if you don't want to." She stroked his cheek gently, memorising is handsome face. "No, I do want to," she whispered, "I know I'm safe with you." He kissed her gently, "Damn right, you are," he smiled, "You ready?" She nodded, her nerves once again mixing with desire as he moved his hands between then to position himself, before slowly, gently pushing himself into her. She felt the discomfort as he filled her, and gave a quiet gasp at the sensation of stretching, but nodded for him to keep going.
There was no pain, and instead she enjoyed the feeling, the way she felt like this was a new kind of bond they'd made, and she could see it in his face he felt the same. "You good," he asked, his voice rattling with this need to move, his animal instincts fighting to take over. She nodded, wrapping her legs tighter around him. "Move with me," he breathed, and he pulled out slowly, before pushing back in again, and she quickly felt the pleasure building again as he picked up a rhythmic pace, thrusting into her gently as she rocked her hips up to meet him. The noises he made, small gasps mixed with grunts and lows growls as he fucked her made her feel new sensations, her entire body reacting to every new feeling, the building pressure, the intensity she felt in her chest for him, the delicious ache in her legs, spread wide to accommodate him, the dull throb of his cock hitting the deepest spots inside her, she was experiencing all of this for the first time, and together their breaths synchronised. She could feel sweat dripping from his forehead and chest on to her, and could see in his face that he was about to find his release, with her.
When they both cried out together at the same time, her clenching around him, and him spilling himself inside her, the room was filled with the sound of their ragged breaths and the smell of what they'd done. The intensity and the hunger slowly burned down to something softer, as he rolled over to lie beside her, pulling her into his arms. "How was that?" he asked quietly, nervous now himself as he so desperately wanted to make her feel good. She turned to face him, one hand sweeping a strand of hair out of his eyes. "I think I've waited a long time for something like this, something real," she said moving closer to rest her head against his chest. He smiled sadly, thinking about how long he'd wanted to just be wanted, loved, by anyone. "So have I," he responded, smiling when he realised she'd alread fallen asleep, mouth half open, breathing even, completely at ease with him.
"It's what you do going forward, as part of this team, that matters to me" she'd said that first day when he'd told her of his past. He would think about that line often in the future when he wondered if he was always destined to disappoint her.