Archive of Our Own ^beta

‘At the end of the day,’ Jay thinks, tossing themselves on the couch, squishing the meticulously fluffed up pillows ’, there’s nothing like some sweet, sweet couch time.’

Once upon a time, such thoughts would be accompanied by being teasingly called a lazy bum by their family, but no one can accuse this fae of being lazy now. In fact, this little evening off is the first day they’ve had to themselves for many many months. Jay can’t help an indulgent little sigh as they bury deeper into the comforts of the couch and the fresh pillows and the last rays of the summer sun falling through the window. They absolutely adore evenings spent with their kid and wouldn’t trade them for anything, but sometimes some hours alone in the flat like this can truly be delightful.

They’ve really gotta thank Ayu and Tusix for setting this whole thing up. The girls decided to do a girls’ night, which will actually be more like a night-and-day event. First they’ll take Lovey for a sleepover, filled with all essential sleepover activities according to yet another “mystical pixie girl coming of age aesthetic help must-do activities cottagecore journalling” guidebook Tusix found online and presented to the rest of their little group with greater enthusiasm than a listing with so many codewords should call for. 

And for all that Jay smiled and teased her with great amusement, they couldn’t deny feeling relief and happiness at the progress Tusix has made since coming back home from the Island, coming back from her point of breakdown ( and bullheadedness, but that’s not a part Jay will ever mention aloud. He’s left it all behind anyways ).

The next day, once they’ve had, in spite of Ayu’s complaints, waffles with a tooth-rotting amount of whipped cream, pink sprinkles and strawberries, they will head to an aqua park for typical water and spa activities. Overall, the two fae had planned a wonderful outing for Lovey to make up for the stress of moving to their new apartment and a break for Jay.

‘And I sure as hell can drink to that!’ the dragon cheers inwardly and moves to take a sip of his very normal, non-alcoholic tea. Granted, for all the care he usually puts in his words, this may not be the most fitting expression… 

‘But it’s not like anyone has anything to say about it in this empty flat!’ Jay almost gleefully toasts to himself. It can probably be argued that such glee is in excess, but those who would have clearly never been a single parent in their twenties, still doing their PhD, who also happened to be trapped in another world for a year with no way to come back home and thus inventing a new way themselves. Because this, clearly, is a very common experience to go through.

But let’s backtrack a little. 

After Jay had successfully carried Tusix, Ayu and Lovey across his portal a lot of things happened very fast. Reporting to the office for cross-world travel, harried meetings and being rushed from one room to another as they were met with nurses and doctors doing mandatory check-ups, officials who could use to be a bit more empathetic about the whole situation and officials who could use a raise for kicking the other kind out of the room, meetings with a therapist for mental health screenings, and finally; bargaining. A lot of bargaining. 

Such situations as the one in which the four found themselves in are quite unprecedented as a whole, considering that there was only one known way of leaving an alternate world which happened to also have the revival mechanic chaining someone down. This way of escape included self-inflicted death and was considered severely traumatising, so in an attempt to soothe the definitely traumatised world-hoppers, there were many failsafes and protocols, mandatory time off, monetary support, enforced therapy sessions… Unfortunately all the protocols kind of fall apart with their situation.

What do you do with people who fit neither column A nor column B in the handy graph on the government website? Luckily for Jay, with no precedent for this situation, he was allowed to negotiate.

Granted, It probably would have been faster to just agree to anything which was thrown at Jay, but in the broader scheme of things this is easier than juggling everything at once. Surely it’s better to just tank a couple months of government paperwork and get what they want than slowly let this event take over his life for the next year? 

With this attitude and the burst of energy caused by being back home , Jay managed to negotiate a lot of clauses; an accelerated course of study - since he managed to be on top of his online schooling while a literal world away - the government-supplied therapist sessions not just for him but also for Lovey, all the necessary paperwork for Love to become a legal citizen of the Fae world, followed by them being formally adopted by Jay. This of course required Jay to earn money, but that turned out fine, because he just supplied the government with a sure way out of sticky situations in other worlds, something which a number of scientists haven’t managed to come up with. So, who cares, he’ll be getting paid for the rights to that on top of the monetary support and then he’ll be paid by the PhD program when he gets there. Doable.

All of this was quite challenging, but it’s not like they could find anything wrong with him that would leave him unable to function normally in the society following this horribly traumatising event, so now Jay just has to figure everything out before summer, catch up on his studies and exams during the summer break ( with an official permission! Government-approved delayed deadlines! He will never get over this) and quickly move on to writing his thesis and neatly closing that part of his academia life. Fantastic.

The initial worldtravel-related paperwork took well into spring, the Love’s proof of existence and adoption into June. By July, with the help of his amazing parents, Jay had managed to find a flat fit for both him and Love, though in need of some renovations which took another month. 

Overall, a ton of work, one which was managed very quickly thanks to the adrenaline, energy and joy of being home. Even then, when the work is done, it’s time to organise a reward in the form of a housewarming party. 

All the effort of the six months was worth it just for the delighted shrieks of Lovey when all their favourite people, old and new, met in the flat which would be his and Lovey’s new home for the foreseeable future. A safe home, a stable home in a place close to people. 

The evening was filled with games, laughs and photos which soon will be printed and put in some of the empty frames dotted around the flat.

Overall, Jay hums to himself thoughtfully at the end of his reflection, is he happy? Of course. Is he much less anxious now than he’d been prior to the Island, now that he’s experienced things about fifty times worse than meeting with some government agents? Absolutely! Still, he feels like a truck mowed him over. 

‘And what an expression that is. Would being mowed over by a truck be better or worse than being killed by a Sin? Is it comparable to feeling your extremities wither from a too close proximity to THE Nether Portal? Surely, there is something this can be compared to more literally’ Jay’s thoughts can’t help but stray, yet they catch themselves and huff in annoyance. Briefly they wonder if their therapist would consider this train of thought to be a good or a bad thing, but-

‘No, no. No good or bad things, just things, which mean something, something,’ they know the drill, had known it before even going to therapy, but it’s one thing to know and to be told by someone else. Right? they feel themselves wince unconsciously.

Still, that is probably enough insight and analysis on his well-being to count as at least half of his homework for the next session, so Jay feels no guilt at allowing himself to be distracted by a good book and properly enjoying a good girls’ night. He can read well into the night today with no worries about his kids’ nightmares and classes, albeit extracurricular Polish ones, since Lovey will only start school come September. He can drink tea and sleep in late in the morning, go out to eat maybe… He settles in with a blanket and gets ready to do nothing productive at all.

And then, at 9pm when darkness starts looming over the August sunset, he hears a knock at the door. 

The knock is not confident. If a knock could be insecure, this one would definitely count as such. It may be… self-conscious, sure, but it may also be an accidental knock on the door, which is equally alarming to someone purposefully knocking at the door at this hour. 

Living in a block of flats has its advantages and disadvantages. Sure, you may stumble into some weirdos on the flight of stairs, you will hear about your neighbours custody fight, but you get a doorbell, way too many stairs to walk up, good commute to plenty of places and a tight-knit community you can approach when you run out of sugar, assuming they let you in. 

Granted, none of those really prepare you for someone knocking (KNOCKING! What happened to the doorbell?) at your door at 9pm, less than a week after moving into this flat. Who could knock? At 9 pm as well!! Police! Bandits! Robbers! Drunkards! None of them should logically knock (except for maybe the first one), but Jay doesn’t know ANYONE well enough for it to be logical for them to ask Jay of all people for help. 

With this attitude, the dragon abandons his blanket and the mostly empty mug with an apple print and stalks towards the kitchen for a handy weapon. A sword isn’t a good weapon for such a closed environment as the hallway of their apartment. If a normal sword won’t cut it, none of the weapons Jay still keeps a summons away will do either, since those are scythes, longswords or warhammers, all of which were made for longer range and open areas.

Just as the fae triumphantly retrieves a recently JKEA-bought mallet from the shelf, another knock sounds from the door. With a quiet huff and rolling his shoulders, they continue stalking to the door, quietly looking through the peephole…

And promptly throwing the door open in disbelief, only just catching the mallet as they loosen their hold of it in surprise. The wooden floor is brand new and way too expensive to ruin so quickly, so even the shock of seeing Lucifer, one hand reaching up as if to knock once again, would not allow for that travesty to happen. 

And a shock it is. Jay stares up breathlessly at the angel who-

lied to him

cared for him

shared burdens with him

left him

welcomed him

never sent that bloody letter

…who was their friend. Jay inhales sharply, their fist tightening on the mallet unconsciously as they drink in the sight of Lucifer, their friend.

Lucifer, who changed.

He is still too tall and too… other to compare to what most of the Islanders looked like. Even so, no longer does he have long horns which allowed him to dwarf most others. The gleam and shimmer which used to be ever-present around Lucifer, not visible as much as felt; in his hair, in his irises, in the dark robes he always wears, in the feathers, in the air, they’re gone. And as Jay scans Lucifer in order to come to this conclusion, they find themselves freezing minutely. The hooves are gone, that’s one thing, but it’s the lack of wings behind Lucifer, which really stuns the dragon. 

Those wings meant everything to Lucifer. They were a major point of both his dreams and memories as well as his main gripe on the Island. A common fact among the Islanders and Scientists and Eggs, something that everyone knew was that Lucifer’s wings were his main heel and motivation. 

And yet the place they should occupy on the flight of stairs behind the demon is empty.

This fact specifically is what jolts Jay out of their stupor. A sudden calm settles over them like a cloak, their shoulders loosen with practice. It may be 9pm on a Wednesday night, there is hardly anybody likely to be walking around at this time and day, but a doorway is hardly a private enough place for… whatever is likely to happen next.

‘And,’ They think to themselves glancing up at Lucifer’s own stricken face, ‘It may be better to do this thing inside, behind walls with several noise-cancelling charms already placed on them’.

Still, Lucifer has yet to say anything, seemingly having used up all his courage on the knocks at the door. Inwardly, Jay gives themselves a little shake, gets their shit together and steels themselves to be the one to maneuver them through this situation, whatever it is. 

So Jay grins tightly, all teeth-

(It’s their friend. Jay gave up on ever seeing him again, ever hearing from him again, and yet he’s here, now, in this new home of Jay’s making. They’re happy. They are so happy they feel dizzy, vision swimming like hot air in summer, but their stomach twists and turns, because when was the last time Lucifer smiled at them? When did they smile at him? Grin and chat and let the laughter fill the air? They used to be friends, but what has become of them?)

and moves to open the door wider.

“Come in, come in, Lucifer,” they move to the side, waving the other in. The demon startles out of his daze, before opening his mouth as if to say something, closing it. He opens it again and then presses his lips closed, frowning, frustrated… He walks past Jay, ducking under the doorway and into the flat.

Jay once again finds themselves following him. 

“You remember the rules, nothing changed.” Jay states firmly, bossily even, pretending the fact that he’s patting Lucifer on his back comes as naturally to him as breathing and is not a fully conscious, premeditated and thought-out action “, Shoes go on the rack, got it?”

Lucifer only manages to nod mutely, clearly overwhelmed by this situation. 

‘That makes the two of us, I suppose,’ Jay ponders to themselves. They already know they will absolutely be emotional about this later, they can feel the build-up of emotions and questions weighing on his mind. They just got their feet under them and this was meant to be their first day off in so long. And then their dearest friend ( and companion and support and- ) showed up on their doorstep. 

A part of Jay remarks that at least they won’t need to worry about what to talk about with their therapist during the next session. Another part remembers that they are the host here, both in the sense of living here and being a native of this reality. The least they can do is offer some stability, some structure to this… everything.

“If you would like to clean up, the bathroom is ahead, behind the corner. You can recognise it by the rubber duck sticker on it, Lovey stuck it on there.”

Lucifer’s face does some impressive gymnastics before settling into something more-or-less calm. 

“Lovey is… away on a sleepover,” Jay adds hesitantly, looking away. Maybe Lucifer is worried about a kid listening in, interrupting, maybe about overstaying? It’s been a long time since Jay could read Lucifer accurately, if that time ever was really true. Still, they hope this simple truth will be enough to solve whatever conundrum appeared before him, “When you’re ready, go,” they point with the mallet-free hand“, to the living room.”

They pause, scanning Lucifer’s face, hair, cheeks, now that the recipient is actually willing to make eye contact instead of looking away at the floor or the yet to be decorated walls around them. Eye contact, but also the lack thereof, seems so daunting now, as does the heavy silence of the apartment. Lucifer seems so gaunt now, so harrowed in a way he wasn’t last time Jay saw him. There are smudges of soot and dirt on Lucifer, but also signs of a new strength in him. There is a new strength to his eyes, shoulders, yet it’s fragile like glass, reminding Jay of a Rupert’s drop.

Snapping out of their thoughts, Jay feels flustered by staring for as long as they did. Looking away, they can’t help but think that this is not what a good host should do. Instead, they speak:

“ I’m going to the kitchen to make tea for the two of us. Please wait in the living room, while I make you the usual.”

Having said that, they turn away before they can see Lucifer’s reaction.

In the kitchen, they start with putting the mallet away to its respectful drawer. Afterwards, they robotically fill the kettle with water, put it on to boil.
With nothing left to do but wait, Jay rests their hands on the counter and leans forward. Soon their elbows follow, then their head and finally they find themselves fully bowing over the counter, forehead resting on their fists, choking on the emotion swirling in their throat.

How does one cope with this storm of feeling? How does one feel in a situation like this? How does one disentangle this knot, name every emotion? Is this “Anxiety”? How does one tell apart “Elation” and “Sorrow”? What to do when all these feelings form not a perfect spider’s web, but a net tangled by neglect with themselves caught in the middle?

Briefly, for a split second and no more, Jay wishes that Lovey was here. Love would somehow bridge this gap, this ravine which opened between Jay and Lucifer at some point, they’d do something to ease this situation. Such thoughts have no place here though, so they wave them off. 

It’s a good thing that Love isn’t here, considering the state of things before the three fae and the little fish managed to escape the Island. This situation doesn’t need someone, especially a child, to buffer because they had tried that in the past. They had people to buffer. They had given each other space, but also they talked briefly, even if it was always with others around. They tried some things, just… not the right things, not enough things.

What this needs is not more of any of that, but a conversation held in private, in a safe space. A safe space with no pressure and no additional ears, something which was exceedingly rare back then. Not that the two of them ever even tried to look for this.

Really, all things considered, it’s incredibly fortunate that Lucifer appeared when he did. Jay can’t even bring themselves to regret the loss of their peaceful evening. Had this happened at an early morning hour, while worrying about getting Lovey to school, or sometime when Jay was still figuring things out with his parents, or maybe even just tomorrow but in the morning… they would probably not keep it together nearly as well, for a certain definition of well. It’s good that Lucifer appeared now and not sooner or later.

The fact that Lucifer somehow appeared here is yet another little miracle, managing to somehow leave that place in a way seemingly unconnected to Jay’s portal. It’s clear it wasn’t without a cost, since his wings are gone and Jay doubts that could be a coincidence. Yet, despite that loss, he looks like he regained something, like finally something lit a fire under his ass to get his shit together. In other words, he looks… well. Or at least, comparatively better than at any point of their stay on the Island. 

Even as he follows that train of thought, Jay can’t help but be somewhat annoyed. This is Lucifer. The very same “Luci” who did not bother to send a reply to Jay’s final letter. “Luci” who hadn’t tried to stay in touch, who had not talked with Jay alone after his return from his kidnapping, who had entered their first meeting after his return from the labs saying that “ he will no longer apologise ” in the same breath as “ I forgot about your birthday before, so happy late birthday now ” a month after the fact, who had not tried to talk with them once, who had not hugged or even offered a glancing touch to Jay upon his return. 

They moved on. They said their piece, they left their letter along with a way of contact. Jay let him know the door is always open to them. Yet he didn’t do anything about that, didn’t write like Jay said they could, message using Ayu’s interdimensional communicator left by the portal, didn’t come here through there. Jay would know, after all, seeing as it is connected to his Court.

Something happened, Jay knows. Something happened to Lucifer, maybe to the Island itself, something that brought Lucifer to Jay’s doorstep in an event unrelated to Jay’s offer of transport to a new life. Something happened and Jay ( wants, loathes, hungers, craves ) to know more.

They just managed to get their life together.

They just started to get their life together and they were good at this. They’ve been so good at everything, at so many things now that their anxiety about normal things doesn’t compare to his anxiety about the horrors of the Island. After facing Unknown Void Entities, dogs from Void and Hell, sins and other plethora of man-made and natural monstrosities… a conversation with a bank clerk is not as scary. After getting used to being so physically small to the danger they have to fight (hulking sins, skeletal Hirschgeists, looming shadows waiting to reap you, the shadows stalking the Entities’ existence, crowds of stalkers made of nightmares, all so much bigger, part of something so much greater than just Jay), standing in front of a civil servant’s desk isn’t as scary. The only thing that still actually thoroughly manages to stress Jay out are the doctor visits, yet that’s besides the point.

They had everything under control, until Lucifer came into this life Jay has begun to carve out for Love and themselves. Now, there’s a demon somewhere in their house, while Jay finds themselves bowed over the counter as the electric kettle finishes boiling the water and clicks off. 

They inhale. Exhale. And then again.

There is so much left to do. This is the chance to actually talk. The chance to fix Jay’s decision, no matter whether it was a mistake or not to leave the Island with just a letter tucked into Lucifer’s post office locker.

With a final exhale, they push off the countertop and stretch upwards to take out two burnt orange mugs and a teapot decorated with handpainted marigolds, before mechanically tossing in black tea with some dandelion roots and dried orange rind. With a snap of realisation, they remember that it’s not quite the usual, since it had never involved citrus fruit in the past. It’s a change.

‘ Still,’ Jay thinks to themselves as they pour water over the blend ‘, old things could use a change, right? ’

( Lucifer isn’t the most observant. He probably won’t notice the difference anyways…)

They stare for a long moment at the slowly colouring liquid, trying to make sense of their thoughts. 

There is so much they have to speak about, yet what do they say, what do they do? Who starts speaking and what are their priorities? There are only so many hours left until Love comes home, which will be yet another whole conversation to be had. Maybe they should ask Ayu and Tusix to keep Lovey for another day? Would that be enough to figure out this whole thing, prepare everything in advance? Maybe-

‘Maybe,’ Jay chastises themselves ‘, they should actually wait for this conversation to take place before planning ahead.’

Growling lowly in frustration, they grab the teapot in one hand and the two mugs in the other and finally move to the living room before they can allow themselves to hide away in the kitchen and overthink this even further. They may have bought both of them a little over 6 minutes to gather their thoughts, but making Lucifer wait is equally rude.

Entering the living room, Jay is greeted with a sight of a demon sitting uncomfortably perched right at the edge of the seat of the couch. Whole swathes of cushions and pillows to rest on, as well as Jay’s abandoned blanket. And yet, he chose to sit not on the armchair, but on the couch in the least comfortable way one could sit on a couch that soft. And it is soft, because Lovey chose the softest couch in the entire furniture store after browsing for 3 hours.

As if the sight of Lucifer in this flat wasn’t weird enough. 

He cuts a striking figure against the background of the living room. There are light yellowy-green walls, paintings with nature motifs and plants. The whole room, from the rug, through the pillows, to curtains is kept in light warm and earth tones. Lucifer, wrapped in darkness as he always is, stands out horribly against the purposefully cozy and comfortable room.

Jay walks to the coffee table and gently sets two mugs on opposite ends of it, before filling each with tea and settling the teapot in the middle. Having decided where to sit as soon as they saw Lucifer so unsettled, they slowly sit in the armchair. For all they would usually all but throw themselves at the couches and armchairs, it seems insensitive to do so now. Even if that means there are two of them sitting in very uncomfortable ways on very comfortable furniture. 

There is no other way to go about it, as mournful as Jay is about their abandoned blanket, probably not even warm with their body heat anymore. For all that both Lucifer and Jay have always been affectionate to their children, adults have always proved to be a bit more… awkward. Back then they seldom hugged, talked about their feelings and most honest feelings were only revealed through the forms of letters, emotionally constipated as all of them were.

Sitting opposite to each other as they are, Jay gets the perfect view of everything. While Jay was ready to sit in silence and wait, Lucifer clearly was not, once again visibly struggling to phrase things, opening his mouth, closing it, biting on his lip. Jay observes every single movement of his, not saying anything, but cataloguing details which escaped his notice earlier. 

They notice the smeared soot on his hands and face in what must have been a quick attempt to wash it off in the bathroom. They notice the vines of withering, twisting from his fingertips up beyond the sleeves and then again up Lucifer’s neck or the burns on the forearms. Once they start noticing the damage, they cannot ignore the general smoky scent of Lucifer, the clothing being black not just from the dye, but from the soot, the singed hair which really ought to be cut off. 

There is a pharmacy nearby where Jay could buy something proper to help with the withering, except the damage doesn’t seem to be spreading, so maybe a regular potion which Jay has in his first aid kit would do. The burns should probably be treated properly in a hospital, but Lucifer doesn’t exist on paper here, so while that shouldn’t be problematic, Jay doubts Lucifer wouldn’t feel any worry about that. Fortunately for him, as a dragon, Jay got pretty good at all things fire and that includes making a mean burn salve. As for the hair, it would probably be best to just leave that for Ayu, who seems to be the best of them when it comes to tastefully cutting hair-

Focused as they were, they hardly noticed when Lucifer stopped fumbling and started speaking.

“I promise I wrote letters to you, Jay,” 

And it takes everything for Jay not to visibly startle. They try to control their reaction, to reduce it to a flick of their ears and a swipe of their tail. Trying to hide the surprise, they lean forward and rest their elbows on their knees, holding their hands together. It doesn’t seem like Lucifer noticed anything, however, his gaze being pinned to the table as it is. After a brief pause, he continues.

“I wrote a lot of letters and- and it took a lot to do it. Not- Of course, not that it, like, matters that it was hard, of course yours must have been difficult, too,” Whereas Jay tries to keep up a pretence of steadiness and calm, Lucifer seems to be too far gone to even attempt to control his rambling “, And I’m so, so sorry it took so long to get them to you, it’s just, they never really seemed good enough, you know? You managed it and escaped and I didn’t-”

He huffs in annoyance, a frown marring his brow.

“Stars, I didn’t even realise for the longest time you left the letter in my post office and I should have- should have cared and done something sooner than, instead of-, really, through a letter?”

It’s not the first time Jay’s seen Lucifer so lost for words, changing the direction of his speech every second, but for perhaps the first time they find themselves equally stupefied. 

Suddenly, Lucifer perks up. 

“Actually, I brought two with me! They’re not my best work, I…I think I could do better, but these are- maybe not good, they are- they are honest, so let me just,” and as he speaks he reaches with his hand to the inside of his outer robe into some hidden pocket. Swiftly he pulls out a very burned looking envelope. Just as he is about to set it down on the desk, Lucifer freezes, noticing the charred quality of the paper.

Neither of them move or say anything, yet Jay’s thoughts are racing.

They think about all this time they’ve spent waiting for a letter, the resignation they felt when it didn’t come in spite of their intent to move on, to get this all out and never return to this if possible, because if they can’t be happy, the least they can be is not-resentful. 

They think about how their last time meeting Lucifer was Rusty’s planning meeting. They sat away from each other too far from each other to talk, yet just the right distance for Jay to get to see weariness and boredom flutter across Lucifer’s face when he wasn’t in the centre of the attention of the rest of the gathering. 

They perceive all the emotions they’ve been feeling, the happiness at the letter, regret at leaving the way they did, anger, disappointment, jealousy, joy, they see it all and command that storm to quiet as they reach out their hand and take the envelope out of Lucifer’s still extended hand. 

He jolts as though he lost awareness for that split second. Back then , Jay would probably smile in amusement and tease him. Instead they spare him a glance in worry, before pursing their lips and opening the envelope. As expected, the words on the paper are burnt beyond recognition, yet the unmistakable black feather nestled inside entirely avoided the damage somehow. 

Gently, the dragon takes it out and holds it up in the air, twirling it, observing the way light falls and bends around the vane. Focused on it as they are, only in the background do they note hearing Lucifer splutter in the background, frantically explaining himself and his letters and his notes and attempts. Apologising in panic, he sounds close to tears and Jay can take it no longer. They exhale the breath which at some point stopped in their lungs and Lucifer sharply quietens.

First, they delicately rest the feather on the desk, next to their cooling tea. Then, gently, they take hold of Lucifer’s hands, which he was previously twisting painfully. Finally, they start to speak.

“Whatever you wrote, it’s… it…” it doesn’t matter , they do not say. 

A lot of time has passed for Jay. They changed a lot during their time on the Island, but they also changed since their return back Home. On the Island Love needed a parent and a protector. Now, at Home, they need a parent and an adult, someone who will be able to give them the childhood they did not get until now. The past half a year has been so busy that even in spite of therapy sessions made to deal with the trauma of the Island, Jay often found themselves too busy to think about the past.

They still feel things, emotions about everything. But it hasn’t impacted their daily life for many months now. They hadn’t quite let go, but they were able to move on, until a living reminder of the past knocked at their door, forcing them to actually consider the would-haves and what-ifs which sometimes sparked in their thoughts at night.

But… It's been a long time, a busy time for Jay. They don’t remember exactly what they wrote in their letter to Lucifer. 

However, while the contents of Lucifer’s letter do not matter that much to them anymore, they do to Lucifer, definitely more than Jay at this point. Because where Jay found… not closure, but an outlet, Lucifer found regret. He must have spent so much time writing the letters, so many iterations of them, whose final versions did not even get to be read. These letters are important to Lucifer, so instead, chewing on their words and not noticing the flustered silence, Jay tries again.

“Whatever you wrote in there… You can say it in just two words and I’d be fine with that.”

They stare up at Lucifer, making eye contact for the first time since their eyes met at the door. Briefly they worry if they still said the wrong thing. Lucifer gapes at them, tears gathering in his eyes and mouth shaking slightly and Jay only has the space of mind to think oh no before Lucifer jolts backwards, sobbing:

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry-” but he doesn’t get far, as Jay stands up and swiftly moves towards the couch, moving one of his hands to his elbow and tugging him forward until they close him in an embrace. Lucifer chokes back sobs as the fae rests their head on his head, nestled between the much smaller horns, pressing their own eyes shut in an effort to stop the tears.

This is so dumb, all of this is so dumb and it was dumb to bear the grudge and while it all seemed so big and painful back then, everything seems so dumb now that Jay is out of that hell and Lucifer is here now, too. 

Softly and still not letting go Jay sits down on the couch next to the demon, who folds into their touch. Both of them go quiet, Lucifer no longer sobbing but still shaking slightly, most likely crying.

This is nothing like what either of them expected this conversation to look like, Jay is sure. But they’ve both changed. Softened, maybe. Personally speaking, Jay knows the Island changed them into more of a warrior, but it also made them softer. Later, without the dangers of the Island, without the stress of bringing everyone home in a way different to… the way, without worry about Love’s health and life, they were able to shed some of that hardened shell. 

They’re still tough, but it’s the hardness of a parent who will do everything to ensure a good life for their kid, not that of a warrior. They’re softer and it’s undeniable as they run their fingers down Lucifer’s back to soothe him, reaching for where his missing wings should be.

The once-angel shudders under his hands and Jay pauses, hesitating, asking for permission. When Lucifer pushes his head further into their embrace, they continue lightly stroking him across his spine, fondness warming their chest, a pleased low rumble escaping their throat for just a moment. 

They sit quietly, allowing time to pass. Still, the fae feels some reluctance spark inside them. The silence may no longer be as tense, but there is still so much to talk about and it’s clear it’s not going to be broken anytime soon. Taking a deep breath, the dragon speaks.

“Lucifer, how did you get here?” they let the words hang in the air for a moment before continuing “Why did I find you standing on my doorstep?”

The spell which fell over the room breaks. Lucifer shifts and then swayingly pushes himself back to a seating position. Jay allows him, yet finds themselves regretting not pulling him closer or closing this conversation as they stare at the burns and the soot cradled skin. They’re sure that their own hands must be black from touch and they will need to clean the couch sometime tomorrow. Those things, along with the comfort, need to wait. There are only so many hours to figure everything out, after all.

Lucifer sits listlessly, not making eye contact, but seemingly not staring anywhere in particular either. His eyes remain unfocused and half-lidded as he bows his head and looks somewhere in the direction of his burned knuckles. When he finally speaks, in places it’s even more haltingly than prior, as though he never expected to speak of such things. In others he speaks with a fluency which convinces Jay that he’s written or said those words numerous times before. This is how Jay learns about everything important which happened after their escape.

The Island changed a lot more than would be expected, yet remained the same, stalling, like an animal settling down to hibernate. Soon after they disappeared, new people arrived to even out the gap caused by their flight. None of those new people listened to Lucifer, none of them cared for his experience and wisdom. Living on the Island with so few people is naturally quite lonely, but it’s the first time he felt so isolated.

With nothing changing, nothing happening, aside from some more Lackeys cropping up, Lucifer decided to scour the edge of the Island for a way out. 

“After all, if the scientists got in, there must be a hole, right?” are his words. Jay does not bother pointing out that none of the other arrivals arrived through a hole exactly, does not bother to say that it seems like wasted effort. They understand the need to do something, anything, even if it seems hopeless. And, clearly, it worked, didn’t it?

Travelling left a lot of time on hands to think, especially with no companions but for his hellhound. Here, Lucifer grows visibly more reluctant to speak. He admits to “figuring out some stuff, which led to his wings being freed”. 

One thing led to another-

(No, the fuck it didn’t, what, Jay does not say, biting themselves on the tongue.)

- and he found himself at a way out, near the void, having decided to try his luck at the whole reincarnation thing. He got to this Island through the void, so… maybe… Lucifer trails off.

It’s easy to fill in the blanks. Jay feels a sudden chill enter their bones, unable to not consider the what-ifs. They stare at Lucifer sitting on the farther part of the couch, keeping a healthy distance between the two of them, but sitting here and mostly whole and it did not have to be that way . 

It takes everything in Jay not to throw themselves into a hug with Lucifer. They saw the burns, the withering, who knows what else that old bat has to hide, Lord of the Hell their ass. Still, they shift closer, approaching Lucifer like a spooked animal, who true to form freezes, barely breathing. They hook one hand under his armpit and when he doesn’t move away nor flinch, they complete the hug, clutching him tightly, yet carefully from both sides, hiding their face in his collarbone.

They need this, smoke and soot be damned, and by the way Lucifer clutches at their back and burrows his face between their horns, it’s clear he needs this too.

Jay breathes deeply, shaking somewhat as they try not to cry, as they mind their talons as to not hurt Lucifer even more, since he’s already hurt, but he’s here, but he didn’t have to be, he fell into the void, that is a horrible way to die, but at least it doesn’t take too much time usually but it’s clear from the way Lucifer looks that he was falling for a very very long time and he fell on purpose and it was intentional and- and suddenly something slots into place in Jay’s mind.

They were wrong, earlier. Lucifer does have a connection to the Fae world. The Portal, the allowlist attached to it, a strong feeling of connection to all who Jay considers close to allow them an escape as well. He may have not used the Court to travel, but the Void… It’s always been something of a loose point in the fabric of the Universe, something pondered in many research papers. It… wouldn’t be the most far-fetched theory. 

But Lucifer would need to have died . Lucifer, the Once-Angel, later the Lord of Hell, is immortal. He spoke once, only briefly and probably not fully intentionally, of his grace. 

If Lucifer lost what makes him immortal, he would be able to die.

Jay can’t help the slight hiccuping breath they let out, moving their hands from where they were clutching at the fabric of Lucifer’s robe to instead gently press against where his wings once stemmed. 

Lucifer had died, but… but it’s okay, because now he is alive. He’s here, at Jay’s home.

They try to breathe in to calm themselves, but cannot help but cough slightly, choking on the sooty smoky smell emanating from the other. 

Lucifer, clearly lost in his own thoughts, startles at the coughing and immediately worries, floundering.

“Are- are you alright? Did I- “ and he’s already moving away, so Jay puts up their hand in a “stop” motion in front of his face, before speaking once more.

“This was… I think we can both agree this was a lot,” Jay says, closing their eyes and furrowing their brows. From where their legs and arms still touch, they can tell the other moves, probably nodding, but they open their eyes and continue before they can think more on that “, and I think we can also agree that… We covered everything we needed to cover right now. So, come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

Jay gets up, pulling Lucifer to his feet and then, holding his wrist, to the bathroom. It’s not a big one, as is typical for most flats, and Lucifer certainly would not have been able to fit in there had he his wings still attached. Now he fits in just fine, only needing to duck under the doorway.

“You stay put, I’m going to get something for you to sit on as well as the first aid kit from the kitchen, okay?” they speak, unconsciously pitching their voice lower, like they do when Love scrapes their knee playing outside. As they hustle out of the room, they can hear Lucifer repeating the words to himself in bafflement, but they’re too focused on their mission to really pay any mind to that. 

They take the stool they usually use to reach the higher cabinets and a first aid kit and promptly return to the bathroom finding Lucifer much like they left him; standing timidly like a baby fawn and equally lost and confused by the world. Jay can’t help but tsk to themselves, before putting down the stool and forcefully pushing Lucifer to sit on it. 

“Now, sit! And clothes off, gotta make sure you’re fine and take care of the parts which aren’t, got it?” They command, not really aware of what they say until Lucifer blushes slightly and squirms out of his upper clothes, while speaking in a scratchy from crying voice.

“I- um… I feel kind of sore, where- where my wings used to be” and he takes off his shirt…

…revealing to Jay a large picture of a big black dog on his back. 

They step closer to Lucifer, gingerly tracing the lines and shading of the illustration, confirming that it is indeed a tattoo. Although Lucifer shivers at the contact, he stays put, so Jay decides not to worry about his discomfort.

“Armallo came with you.”

“Yes, I mean, I did bring him with me for the trip, but I left him at-” he speaks and although Jay may not see his expression, they can tell by the way his shoulders fell that he’s disappointed, maybe even guilty by the fact, so they quickly interrupt him before he can start brooding.

“No, Lucifer, he came with you here. You have a tattoo of him on your back.”

Immediately, Lucifer tries to stand up, almost knocking his head into Jay’s chin in the process, but the dragon doesn’t take any of that and pushes him back down. 

“Later! You can look in the mirror later! Goodness, sit still for a moment, we’re here to look over your wounds, you’re going to pull something if you keep going, really-” and continues grumbling as they gently tend to Lucifer’s burns. They don’t really put any heart in the complaints, an amused smile climbing onto their lips as Lucifer’s shoulders lift up, whether it’s from embarrassment or newfound energy and motivation returning to him. 

Once the injuries are properly cleaned, Jay hums to themselves and decides that before he treats and wraps these it may be a good idea for Lucifer to take a shower. He’s dirty and definitely needs it, even though overall it’s probably not the best idea to shower with burn wounds. Of the two, it does seem like a worse idea to keep Lucifer filthy and filthing up everything he touches, so it’s best he shower, relax and take a moment for himself.

Only when Jay tells him as much, Lucifer seems to notice the soot for the first time, looking his clothes and himself over. They can’t help snorting in amusement and lightly pat Lucifer’s naked shoulder.

“Ok, Burning Man, here are some fresh towels,” they ramble as they open one of the drawers in the bathroom and hand him all the items “, I’ve got a lot of backup towels for Ayu and Tusix in case they ever stay over, so you’re getting one of Ayu’s, freshly washed, since I think blue fits you more than pink. Though maybe I’m mistaken, who knows, it is closer to red after all. If you need anything, this same drawer has a lot of stuff for, like, guests? It’s the too-awkward-to-ask-for drawer, so just treat yourself, don’t use anything pink, those are Tusik’s and she’s protective over those.”

Lucifer listens intently, holding all towels, shampoos, soaps and conditioners Jay thrusts upon him, looking for all intents and purposes as if he’s trying to memorise Jay’s every word, like it’s the matter of life and death and not a shower .

“I’m going to get you your own set of toothbrushes and towels soon,” they speak as they turn to leave. Somewhere behind them, they hear sounds as though Lucifer just almost dropped everything, fumbling to keep hold of things in reaction to their words. Immediately, they feel bad startling Lucifer, whatever it was that caused this, so they turn and gently pat Lucifer’s forearm where it’s bare of wounds, before continuing “,Yell if you need help, if you feel faint, please don’t lock the door, so I don’t need to knock it down if the exhaustion catches up to you. Don’t worry about the clothes, I’ll bring you something later.”

As they speak, the surprise in Luci’s eyes changes to something fonder as he nods mutely. With everything figured out, Jay turns around and leaves. 

While Lucifer is in the bathroom, Jay goes back to his armchair in the living room. Everything lies abandoned there as it was left, the two mugs of tea, which have long since cooled, the book he was reading and his phone. 

For a moment, they sit unsure what to do, until the sound of a shower jerk them out of inaction. He sighs, takes his tea and downs it in one swift movement, before taking his phone and opening the group chat he has with Ayu and Tusix. 

Since they last checked it around 7 PM, plenty of new messages appeared.

[Then we get the cheese…]

You, the Pink simp, blue ape of the depths

blue ape of the depths: its not that weird to not know that parbie movie

blue ape of the depths: you dont kwno any movies ever LMFAO

the Pink simp: VGJKDGNFRK but its THE Parbie movie

the Pink simp: It’s good!!!!!!!

blue ape of the depths: you said parbie on he abandoned island wuold be good

blue ape of the depths: it wasnt

the Pink simp: you just have no taste

blue monkey from the depths: HELLO???

Jay snorts and covers his mouth in spite of nobody actually being there to see it. 

Dumbasses, arguing in the chat while literally next to each other. Chronically online fools. 

Scrolling down through the rest of the senseless teasing and arguments, he finds a new photo sometime around 8:30PM, with the two girls and Lovey putting on face masks. Behind them is a tv with an already prepared Parbie movie, probably the one they were arguing about in the chat. They look happy. Tusix is clearly giddy to share this whole skincare thing with her friends, Ayu is pretending to be too macho and sporty for this, but from the half-smile it’s clear she’s enjoying herself too. Lovey, being the first to get done, sits in the background hugging a giant plushie, smiling gleefully, doubtlessly happy about the first girls’ night in their life. 

Since the chat has been quiet for the past two hours, they’re probably watching something or engaging in post-movie discussion. They definitely haven’t gone to sleep yet, cause Jay knows that Love has mean puppy eyes and Tusix folds like a napkin when they’re directed at her. Maybe they are baking cookies, maybe doing their nails. Whatever it is, they are sure to be having loads of fun right now.

Jay stares at the chat, chewing on his lip as he types:

Red spotted newt: I know it’s my day off, but big news guys|

…That sounds weird. And alarming.
He deletes it and tries again.

Red spotted newt: Hiya girlies, so|

No! So tone deaf!

Red spotted newt: Don’t worry, but|

Definitely not!

He sighs and knocks his head back against the headrest of the armchair as he stares up at the plain white ceiling. 

Somewhere in another part of the flat, there is an ex-demon who hadn’t actually talked with them for a very long time, but who is undeniably close to them, and he’s taking a shower . In their flat. After successfully escaping the Island . And now they have to let Lovey and others know that ‘hey guys! Lucifer will be staying at my flat for some time on account of being yet another person without legal documentation in this world. Yeah he’s here. Yeah and we figured out everything between us.’ No biggie.

He sighs heavily once again, before going simpler.

Red spotted newt: Hey guys, change of plans. Instead of dropping Lovey off and coming over for dinner, would you mind if I picked you all up? In a car.

As expected, the chat is quiet. Jay puts his phone down on his stomach as he slides lower in the armchair. The shower is still running, but other than that it’s quiet. All the neighbours have likely gone to sleep, leaving their flat to be one of the few with the light still on, since at some point during their conversation darkness has fallen outside. They check their phone and immediately see a notification. Ayu reacted to his message with a thumbs-up emoji.

And that was that.

Still holding his phone, Jay starts planning. He thinks about how he will go about all this, driving there, picking them up, then when everyone is in the car and when he’s driving and out of the annoying neighbourhood of annoying weird crappy turns near Ayu’s place, he will say he has to speak about something in that cliche way that gets everyone taking things seriously, effectively trapping everyone involved in this situation until everyone involved has had their moment to react, ask questions and go through it. At least Jay will be able to spare Lucifer the discomfort of going through the whole explanation again. He’ll take the long way home if needed and then by the time they’re in the flat they can have their reunion without any of the awkwardness or surprise. 

‘Flawless plan,’ Jay lies to themselves.

The sounds of a shower finally stop and the dragon puts their phone down. They wait a minute, and then another for good measure, before going to the bedroom and picking a loose t-shirt and some large pyjama pants they bought on clearance some weeks ago and were too lazy to return. In this way prepared, they turn back to the bathroom and knock on the door. 

“Lucifer! Make yourself decent, I’m leaving some pyjama pants outside the door, since I’m going to help you with at least the burns. I’m going to look away now,” and true to their word, Jay turns away, looking at the opposite wall “, a haircut might be good too, if you’d let me brush and cut your hair. It’s quite… singed.”

Behind him, the doors have opened and closed. There is no other acknowledgement of his words so Jay waits… and the doors open again and Lucifer lets them in.

Walking into the bathroom is like suddenly stepping onto another continent. Clearly Lucifer set the water the hottest it could get, which is understandable, but it leaves Jay blinking at the white steam billowing through the open door. Quickly, they close the door behind themselves and take a good look at their guest.

He looks better, much better than he did upon his arrival, but there really is only so much you can do with a shower. With his skin pinkish from the shower, his burns stand out a bit less, but leave Lucifer looking overall like a lobster. Probably not the best idea to pour hot water on burns either, Jay chews on their lip, feeling somewhat fondly exasperated. If anything bothers him, Lucifer doesn’t let it show, once again sitting on the stool.

With 11PM steadily approaching, Jay can feel the weariness bearing down on them and they have no doubt that Lucifer feels twice as tired as they do. With this motivation, they decide to make quick work of patching Lucifer up. Armed with their extensively overpacked first aid kit, they get to it.

First they delicately smear a burn ointment over Lucifer’s many burns, pausing and listening to it sizzle slightly, hearing the magic in them healing the worst of it. Jay lets out a brief sigh of relief. Thank goodness for magic working on Lucifer as effectively as on the fae. There should be no reason for it to fail, yet Jay still found themselves holding their breath, considering the necessity of actually going to the hospital and doing this the traditional way.

As they proceed with further wounds, the previous ones continue to heal and disappear, the ointment working like a charm. It really does pay to be overprepared with overpriced burn medicines, even when you’re lava-level fireproof. Thank goodness for that, too.

Initially Lucifer shivers every time Jay touches his neck, back, arms, but with every passing minute he becomes more pliant and soft, slouching over, his whole weight resting on the elbows set on his knees.

Although they feel bad for it, Jay forces him upwards again when they are done with the whole back and ready to move to the front. They send Lucifer an apologetic look when he winces and rolls his shoulders… is it stiffness? What if it’s pain? Maybe a massage should help? Maybe actually that should be best left for later, at least until Jay has checked the Internet for information on massaging cramps out of muscles or at least asked Ayu about that. They’re vaguely sure they’ve heard Ayu talk about this at one point or another, but the details escape him as he stands in front of Lucifer, whose head is beginning to lull.

Silence is probably not the best for keeping him awake, Jay decides and begins idly chattering a stream of information as they tend to the ex-angel’s wounds, filling him in on what they’ve been up to the past half a year. At first they talk about all the governmental processes and paperwork, the difficulties of coming back, but soon find themselves moving on from the catching-up and to the lighter stories of daily life. They tell Lucifer of Love’s first reaction to zirs new family. They talk about Ayu’s delight at coming back to actual gyms with proper equipment and Tusix’s happy crying when they went out for the first time to meet up in the city. They talk about how they’ve signed Lovey up for some summer day-camps and Polish classes to get acquainted with the Polish language and kids xe may meet in school come September. 

Lucifer is somewhat more aware while he’s listening, but it’s clear he’s losing the battle to stay aware. Feeling somewhat mischievous, Jay grins cheekily to themselves and fluidly moving on from telling the story, they speak “, and now, I’m going to cut your hair, right?”

At first Lucifer nods numbly, before startling awake and snapping back around to look at Jay in shock, only to wince immediately at the pulled skin and phantom pain of missing wings, closing his gawping mouth.

Snickering to themselves, Jay gently pats the demon’s shoulder before interrupting whatever he might say with:

“Hey, lighten up,” they then hold up Lucifer’s once luscious long hair, the ends of which are now black and melted together “, I’m not a stylist, but there is no way I’m going to leave these as they are. It will look kind of weird, I’m only cutting what I have to cut off, but Ayu can fashion up something cool for you tomorrow. For now let’s just get rid of these bad spots, alright?”

Lucifer looks at them mutely before nodding unsurely. After that Jay makes sure to quickly deal with the matter, cutting the hair, cleaning the fallen strands and finally blow drying Lucifer’s head, doing their best to be gentle. They never had the option to find out if Lucifer is the tender-headed sort or not, but it’s hardly the time for that now.

It’s well after 11 when Jay pushes Lucifer out of the bathroom to do some final cleaning of the bathroom. It isn’t much, just tossing the hair out, hanging the towels to dry, but the bathroom is small enough as is, they don’t need a spectator. When they exit, Lucifer is waiting there, feeling the ends of his significantly shorter hair. There really is only so much you can do when the ends are actually melted together in a burned mess, but still Jay mourns the need to cut off Lucifer’s long hair. 

Both of them stand awkwardly in the hallway, neither saying much and it is a moment before Jay realises why. It’s dumb, but he’s tired, so he doesn’t blame himself for not realising that he hadn’t shown Lucifer where he would sleep . There isn’t really any question about it in Jay’s mind, because he does not have a large bed just to keep it to himself. He regularly sleeps with others, for goodness’ sake! Whether it’s Love slipping back into old habits or sleepovers with everyone slipping into one bed, Jay regularly sleeps with other people.

…still, he can understand the discomfort caused by that statement and how asking Lucifer about that might go. 

In the end, Jay snorts lightly and murmurs quietly under their breath“, Stars, this is so cliché,” before grabbing Lucifer’s wrist mindfully and leading him to the master bedroom. They can hear some half-hearted protests behind him, but the clearly exhausted ex-demon doesn’t put up a fight. Once there, they gently push the protesting man onto the bed. They try to not put much strength into it, but despite the height advantage he has, Lucifer still falls clumsily onto the bed behind him, his shirt riding up slightly, revealing his bandaged stomach. 

Seeing Lucifer sprawled so ungainly in Jay’s bed, they can’t help but think that the t-shirt is really not doing much to cover anything. At the very least it will do for the night. Tomorrow morning the fae will just pop out to teleport to some shopping mall to get Lucifer some clothes. They'll probably need to eyeball it, since they doubt the other man knows his own measurements, considering the kinds of worlds’ he’s lived in, but it’s doable. 

It’s certainly better than having Lucifer forced into too small clothes, which pool on Jay, yet hang way too short off Lucifer apparently. 

They move past their guest to turn the bedlight on, before leaving the room to make sure all the lights are off, the windows are closed in other rooms and checking that the door is locked twice. Having completed their nightly ritual they double back to their bedroom… only to see Lucifer in the same position, awkwardly laying as they left him.

They sigh wryly amused, though they can’t say they’re surprised. It’s not like they’ve given him any directions either, but it’s just… late. They’re tired, so sue them. Still, at this late hour, awkwardness like this is wildly… inefficient, let’s say. Mind made up, Jay climbs into bed on their usual side and grabs onto Lucifer’s wrist before laying down and pulling him with them. 

Smaller they may be, they are probably much stronger than the demon would expect, considering their interactions petered out not long after Jay’s transformation, long before Lucifer would have the opportunity to learn of their struggle with strength, scratched windowsills and stone porches.

Once they’re both laying down, Jay pulls the duvet over both of them and allows muscle memory built across many months to do its thing. They bring Lucifer closer to hug him not too differently to how they would sometimes hug Lovey when sleeping in the same bed, as though they themselves could shield them from the broad world.

For a short while, Lucifer lays there unmoving. For all Jay knows, he may actually hate this and not want any part of this. He may not want Jay hugging him and protecting his back where the wings used to be, he may actually prefer to sleep on the couch, it’s been so long since they’ve even hugged back on the Island, Jay had never been sure if that whole Flock thing included him too, there never was a confirmation clear enough for them and well they have used to struggle with their strength, so maybe they should actually let go of Lucifer, maybe they might hurt him unconsciously in their sleep, he’s so hurt after all-

But then, like a thread snapping, Lucifer fully relaxes, curling into Jay’s hold.

Soon, the exhaustion brought by reincarnation drags him down to sleep and soft snores fill the room. With a little bit of magic, Jay turns the bedlight off before pushing his head into the crook of Lucifer’s neck.

It took months of work for things to start looking up and now in a single evening which was meant for Jay to rest they’ve only found more work to be done. They feel horribly exhausted just thinking about helping Lucifer figure out the documentation and laws and governmental systems and everything, because he wouldn’t be familiar with any of that, would he? An angel or demon probably wouldn’t know much about civics, right? There is so much to be done there. 

But… There will be time to rest. Jay doesn’t have to act as there is a limit, a reason to rush. They have all the time in the world now. It will be tiring and bothersome to help Lucifer and it will surely take time, but it will take time that’s theirs to do with as they wish.

‘ In the end,’ Jay thinks to themselves as they allow their throat to rumble, as Lucifer further relaxes into a puddle in Jay’s giant bed, as they picture the enthusiasm and surprise on Ayu, Tusix and Love’s faces upon seeing Lucifer, as they imagine the peaceful autumn days spent cooking dinner with Lovey and Lucifer, as they relax and drift off into sleep… They think to themselves, ‘ every second is going to be worth it. ’