Chapter Text
carcinoGenetecist >>> Cool Teen Meme Team(™)
CG: LISTEN UP ASSHOLES
CG: ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY
CG: WHO WANTS TO FUCKING MURDER ME
TG: literally everyone
EB: :0
GG: ooooooh fucking roasted!!!! good one dave
TG: thank you jade
TT: Don’t encourage him. You’re being an enabler.
TG: @rose <3 suck my ass
TT: <3 I’d rather die.
EB: not that the strilonde theatrics aren't entertaining and all
EB: but what are you talking about karkat?
CG: I’M TALKING ABOUT FIRST DEGREE MANSLAUGHTER
CG: THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT
EB: ???
TG: see the thing is dude i don't think anyone ever knows what you're talking about
CG: HEY EVERYONE! STRIDER’S GONNA GIVE US HIS TAKE ON THE SITUATION!
CG: BETTER LISTEN UP IT’S PROBABLY IMPORTANT
TG: i have rights
GG: karkat just say what's up already
TT: The suspense is killing me
CG: I ACCIDENTALLY CALLED KANKRI “DAD”
GG: omg
TA: oh 2weet je2u2
EB: w o w
TT: Oh my.
TG: haha dude you must’ve endured the longest heartfelt speech of the fucking millennia oh man
CG: YEAH FUCKING TELL ME ABOUT IT ASSHOLE
CG: I’VE GOT HIS BROTHERLY LOVE COMING OUT MY ASS
TG: yikes
GG: ;;;;;;;)
EB: HA
CG: WAIT THAT CAME OUT WRONG
CG: THE POINT IS
CG: HE’S EVEN MORE OVERBEARING THAN USUAL
CG: SOMEBODY MEET ME IN THE FUCKING PIT AND KICK MY ASS
CG: THEN LEAVE ME THERE TO DIE
TG: the fucking pit?
TG: is that your name for your sex dungeon?
TT: Oooh, now that one I like.
TG: <3
TT: Why do you always do this?
TG: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
CG: STRIDER, LALONDE, WHEN I FINALLY SNAP YOU’LL BE THE FIRST ONES TO GO
CG: YOUR DEATHS WILL BE SWIFT AND BRUTAL
GG: lol!!!
EB: @karkat this is some freudian shit right here. you should talk to rose if you want
EB: because psychiatry
CG: WHAT I WANT IS TO FUCKING DIE
TT: And why is that?
CG: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
TT: Interesting.
GG: *takes notes* now how does that make you feel?
TA: hii2 plea for death ii2 repre2entatiive of hii2 iinten2e feeliing2 of 2elf loathiing
CG: LITERALLY DID NOT ASK
GA: Friends. It Is 11 In The Evening. I Am Trying To Sleep.
TG: turn off notifications for the chat then
GA: I’m Afraid I Cannot
EB: why not?
GA: I Do Not Know How
TG: #savekanaya2k16
TT: Couldn't you turn off your phone?
GA: I Need It On Because I Used It To Set An Alarm
GA: My Job At The Library Starts Early
GG: basic
GA: Hey.
TT: @Jade Says the one who works at a flower shop
GG: <3
TT: <3
TG: what the fuck rose
TG: jade gets non sarcastic hearts but i don't?
TG: fuck yourself
TT: No.
EB: @kanaya well geez i guess you're stuck listening to karkat’s daddy issues
CG: FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK I DON'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES
GG: that sounds like something someone with daddy issues would say!!
TG: astute observation detective harley
GG: thank you david
GA: Karkat It Is Not As If You Haven’t Referred To Me As “Mom” Before
TG: oh shit
TG: how the turntables
TG:
CG: FUCKING
EB: ok but am i the only one who's not at all surprised by this
CG: KANAYA
TA: fuckiing anniihiilated
TG: karkat has a mommy kink
EB: AND a daddy kink
GG: hot
TT: Not uncommon for someone who grew up without real parents.
CG: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ROSE STOP DIAGNOSING ME RIGHT NOW
EB: im kinkshaming
TA: ^ 2ame
TA: kk you a freak
CG: GUYS STOP
GG: it’s ok karkat, we’re not judging you
GG: hard
EB: yeah!
EB: none of us are free of sin
TG: yeah but especially karkat
TG: god will never see you in his forgiving light again
TG: you said the word “daddy” and now it's too late
CG: I DIDN'T CALL HIM DADDY YOU SICK FUCKS
CG: I CALLED HIM DAD
CG: NO INFANTILE SUFFIX TO BE SEEN
TT: You seem awfully defensive
CG: LITERALLY FUCK OFF LALONDE
EB: karkat the only reason we give you such a hard time is because you make it so easy
GG: ^^^
TG: ^^^^^^
GG: <3
TG: <3
EB: 8===D
TA: cla22y
GA: What Is That?
TG: #savekanaya2k16