Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Hey! Hey Cavendish, look what I found!”

Cavendish was seated at the desk in their motel room, trying to focus on their mission. He hadn’t had any caffeine yet today (it was 18:00, but hey, who’s counting?) and wasn’t ready for Dakota’s antics. He was expecting him to have picked up a stuffed animal or a random cat, as usual.

“What is it now, Da-“ He cut himself off rather quickly. That was NOT a cat.

That was a child.

In Dakota’s arms was a boy who looked to be around thirteen. He had brown hair that stuck up in the front, a pink and green sweater vest on, and a comically large backpack. He looked to be covered in dirt and scars, a fresh cut on his arm that hadn’t even stopped bleeding.

“Wha- I-“ Cavendish sputtered. This couldn’t be happening. Dakota could not have just kidnapped a child.

“His name is Milo. Isn’t he so cute?” Dakota squealed, tightening his grip on the boy. He was holding him by the underarms, just like how you’re never supposed to hold a cat. Meanwhile, Cavendish just looked bewildered.

“You’re always saying that you want more responsibility,” he continued, “so I got you a kid! We can look after him together! He’ll be our adorable little-”

“Where in blazes did you even get him!?” Cavendish interrupted, his voice cracking as he did so. He wasn’t sure if he should be pissed off at Dakota, worried for Milo, or just confused. He seemed to be leaning towards the latter.

“Picked him up off the street. Why?”

Cavendish couldn’t take his eyes off the boy. He had a bright smile on his face despite the situation, and he didn’t even seem particularly concerned with the fact that he was staining the carpet crimson. The only sign that he might have even been a little nervous was his hands, his fingers repeatedly tapping against his thumb. “Dakota, you can’t just take children.”

“Don’t be a buzzkill, Cav. He’s adorable! Besides, he didn’t have anyone with him. That means we can have him!”

Milo had been incredibly quiet up until this point. After all, he didn’t like to interrupt people. Still, this felt like a good time to speak up, his smile just as bright as always. “Actually, I already have parents.”

Cavendish and Dakota immediately quit their bickering to stare at Milo, a moment of silence passing over the room. Milo’s gleaming smile contrasted greatly with the look of confusion on both of the men’s faces, though it didn’t take long for the moment of silence to be broken.

“You just kidnapped a child!” Screamed Cavendish, clearly not caring about the size of their motel room. “Dear god, Dakota, we’re criminals! The boy’s parents must be worried sick!”

“Hey, I didn’t know the kid had parents! Besides, if we put him back now, nobody’s even going to notice. It’ll be like nothing happened!”

“Are you daft? Even if we put him back, you’ll still have kidnapped him! Do you have any idea how many rules we’re going against- And for god’s sake, put him down!”

Dakota, realising that he was still holding Milo, set him down on the floor. To be honest, this was not how he thought adoption would go. “C’mon, Cav, it’ll be fine! You worry too much.” He then turned to Milo. “Right, kid?”

Cavendish, meanwhile, was trying to keep himself composed for the sake of the child in the room. It wasn’t like the lad had done anything wrong, after all. It was his partner’s standard idiocy that he wasn’t pleased with. Softening his voice significantly, he addressed Milo as well. “Young man, could you please tell us where your parents are?”

“They’re out of town.” Milo said it with a straight face as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. After all, it was to him. “I’m supposed to be staying with my friend Melissa!”

Cavendish had to take a moment to process that information. He’d been freaking out over Milo’s parents, and they weren’t even here? He couldn’t decide if that made things more or less complicated. Dakota, meanwhile, looked ecstatic.

“See, see!? He’s got nowhere else to go!” Exclaimed Dakota, bouncing on the balls of his feet like an excited toddler.

Milo tilted his head, clearly a bit confused. “But I just said-”

“Not helping, kid.” Dakota quickly interrupted his statement. “Can’t we look after him for the week? Pleeeeaasse?”

Cavendish had to think for a moment. This went against almost every rule in the book, and they were here on a mission. It would be harder to protect the pistachios if they were looking after a child. Not to mention the fact that he clearly got injured quite easily, if the damp bloody spot on their carpet was anything to go off. Then there was the obvious setback that they weren’t even equipped to take care of a pet, let alone a human being. It was obviously a terrible idea.

But at the same time, he was really cute. So, as much as he didn’t want to, Cavendish gave in.

“Alright, fine. I suppose we can take him in for the week. But the minute his parents get back, we’re returning him! Understood?”

Dakota’s eyes widened, a small squeal escaping his throat. He grinned from ear to ear as he picked Milo up once again, hugging him far tighter than could have been comfortable for the boy. “Ya hear that, kid? We’re looking after you!

Now, Milo wasn’t upset with the situation. These two seemed very nice and he had no problem staying with them for a week. However, he was a little bit worried for them.

“Are you sure?” He asked with just a hint of concern in his eyes.

Dakota scoffed, waving a hand dismissively. Milo didn’t look like a troublemaker. How hard could taking care of him be? Cavendish, meanwhile, softened his voice in an attempt to reassure him.

“Yes, I’m quite sure we can handle this.” He wasn’t.

“Yeah,” added Dakota, “how hard could it really be?”

As it turned out, very.

Chapter Text

It had only been five minutes, and Cavendish was really starting to regret this decision.

Their desk had been set on fire twice. The carpet had managed to pull itself off its staples and curl up in the centre of the room. The bedsheets had fallen off and crumpled in heaps on the floor, the newly folded clean laundry had fallen and gotten everywhere, and just as he was thinking all of this, the light above them shattered. The only one who didn’t seem all that concerned was Milo. No, he was on the floor, attempting to help clean up the mess.

“I’m really sorry, guys,” he said, his voice clearly holding an apologetic factor. “I guess it’s just a heavier day than usual.”

Dakota couldn’t decide if he was trying to hold back laughter or if he should be afraid. Cavendish, meanwhile, was thoroughly horrified. “Hold on, than usual? Does that mean this is going to keep happening!?”

“Well, yeah, that’s Murphy’s Law!” Milo explained, not sounding all that upset. After all, he quite liked living with his condition. “Anything that can go wrong around me tends to. That’s why I have my backpack!”

Cavendish stood in silence for a minute, his jaw agape. After just a little while, though, he forced a response. “You mean… We’re going to be dealing with this for the entire week?!” How in blazes were they meant to handle this?! They couldn’t deal with so much chaos! They were agents on a mission!

Dakota, on the other hand, burst out laughing. He really liked this kid. “Oh, this is going to be fun!”

…

After they managed to clean up the mess (which took three hours due to Murphy’s Law creating more mess), Cavendish decided it was time for bed. Dakota had decided that it was absolutely not.

“C’mon, Cav, it’s only 21:00!” He whined, sounding far too much like a toddler.

“Yes, and it’s been a long day!” Cavendish snapped in return, startling both his partner and Milo. “Besides, maybe the boy will be less of a hassle if he’s not conscious.”

“Hey, don’t be rude! He’s standing right there!” Dakota was absolutely correct. Milo was just a metre or two away, listening to everything they said. It was hard not to in such a small room, after all.

“No, it’s okay. I’ve heard worse.” Milo said it in such a casual tone that it almost seemed like it meant nothing to him. Hell, he didn’t even stop smiling. But to Cavendish and Dakota, it was enough to snap them out of their bickering, immediately replacing their frustration with concern. Dakota was the first one to speak.

“You… have?”

“Well, yeah.” Milo said, a bit caught off guard by the genuine worry in Dakota’s voice. “At least he didn’t use the J-word, you know?”

Now it was Cavendish’s turn to be worried. He knew just about every English curse word from throughout history, and he couldn’t think of any beginning with J in this century. “My boy, what in the world is the J-word?”

Milo shrugged. “I don’t like to say it out loud.”

The statement seemed just like any other, but his smile faltered ever so slightly as the word rang through his head, over and over like a broken record. ‘Jinx’. He’d heard it a million times from a million different people, but it never failed to upset him, even just a little. It felt like a worm crawling into his skin, just noticeable enough to be annoying as it wriggled throughout his entire body. It was a thing he felt he should’ve gotten used to by now, but he just couldn’t. It hurt. But behind that bright smile, almost nobody could ever tell.

It didn’t mean they weren’t suspicious, though. Dakota kneeled down so he was a little below Milo’s level, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder. “You sure you’re okay, kid? Cavendish was being a di… jerk.”

Milo just nodded. After all, he knew that if he opened his mouth, it’d become a waterfall of truth. It was a lot easier just to smile and try not to let it bother him.

Dakota didn’t buy it. But there was something in Milo’s eyes that made him not want to push. He didn’t want to upset the kid that he was considering their temporary son. “Okay, if ya say so…”

Cavendish decided that now was the time to intervene. Someone had to keep order in this place, after all. “Alright, then, let’s get to bed. You need your rest, after all.”

Before Milo could answer, Dakota was already setting up one of the beds for him. He was perfectly fine with sleeping on the couch. He wanted the kid to be comfortable, after all. Considering what had just happened, he had to wonder if the people in Milo’s life were any good. The minute the bed was set up, he ushered Milo over to the bed. “Here, kid. Sleep.”

Milo climbed into the bed. It was a fairly firm mattress and the sheets smelled kind of weird, but Milo was prepared for that. He pulled a blanket out of his bag, pulling it over himself. The pillowcase was a fine texture, so he didn’t have to do anything there. He looked up at Dakota, smiling softly. Truth be told, he just wanted to forget that he’d almost broken down. Tomorrow would be a fresh start, after all.

“Goodnight, people I met three hours ago!” He said, his voice holding both humour and tiredness. Cavendish was clearly a bit flustered by him stating the reality of the situation so bluntly, but Dakota just chuckled.

“Goodnight, kid,” he whispered, ruffling Milo’s hair and pulling the covers up to his chin. He was somewhat tempted to kiss Milo’s forehead, but the look on Cavendish’s face told him that wasn’t a great idea. He then shut off the lamp, hoping the kid would get settled for the night. However, before he could get situated on the couch, he felt Cavendish grab his arm.

“Dakota.” His voice was a low whisper, almost a growl. “A word.” Without a moment of hesitation, he dragged his partner out of the room and onto the sidewalk.

“Okay, okay, jeez. You don’t have to be so harsh with it-”

“What in the world are you doing?!” Cavendish may have been keeping his voice down, but that didn’t mean his voice wasn’t harsh. “We can’t get attached to him!”

Dakota almost immediately got defensive. That tended to happen when he and Cavendish argued. “I’m not getting attached!”

Cavendish wasn’t buying it. “You most certainly are! You’re acting like a doting parent!”

“Maybe I just feel bad for the kid!” Despite the fact that they were trying to be quiet, it was definitely starting to get heated. “Did you think about that?”

Before Cavendish fought back with an even more heated response, he took a breath. He didn’t want to get into another argument today. They’d fought enough.

“Look, Dakota…” he started, his voice far softer than it had been before. “I like him too. He’s a sweet boy. But you know we can’t keep him. He has parents. And no matter how well meaning he may be, he’s still a walking disaster.”

Unfortunately for him, Dakota wasn’t out of his argumentative mode. He took that entirely the wrong way. “Hey, don’t talk about him like that!”

“Vinnie, I didn’t mean-”

“You didn’t mean what? You didn’t mean to call the boy a disaster? Is that really what you think of him?!”

“No!” Cavendish raised his voice. At this point, he didn’t care about the neighbours. He just needed to get his point across.

It worked. Dakota fell silent. Cavendish let himself continue.

“…I just don’t want you to get hurt. I know you get attached easily, and I don’t want you to be upset when we give him back.”

Dakota’s expression softened as Cavendish explained himself. He knew that the other time traveller just didn’t want him to get hurt, but still. He could take care of himself. “I won’t, Cav.”

“Good.” Cavendish opened the door, letting them both back into the room. He got himself situated on the bed and, after a little while, fell asleep.

But Dakota found himself staring up at the ceiling for a little while. He couldn’t stop thinking about what Cavendish had said. He did have a tendency to get easily attached. Hell, he’d broken the rules hundreds of times just to keep his partner alive. And sure, there was a bit more there than simple friendship, but what if something similar happened with Milo? What if he fell in love with having the boy around, or actually began to see him as their real son?

Was he actually ready for this?

Chapter Text

Morning came, as it always did. Murphy’s Law didn’t have the range to affect the Earth’s rotation, after all. It did, however, have the range to cause the ceiling tiles to fall on Milo during the night.

Milo was the first to wake up, finding that he was covered in broken shards of mineral fibres and PVC. This was far from the first time he’d woken up like this, but it was a stark reminder that he wasn’t at home. After all, they couldn’t have that sort of thing in their house due to the risks. He wasted no time in cleaning himself off before pulling a granola bar out of his bag. It was a suitable breakfast.

Cavendish came next, although he wasn’t expecting to see Milo both awake and covered in the remains of a ceiling tile. For one, it was early, being about 05:30. That was a perfectly normal time for him to wake, but a teenager? That didn’t seem right. He walked over to Milo’s bed. “Pardon me, young man, but what in the world are you doing up so early?” He kept his voice low so as to not wake Dakota.

“I have school today. I’ve found it’s better to give myself some time to get ready!” Milo’s voice was cheerful despite the early hour, but Cavendish couldn’t have felt any more stupid. Of course the boy had school. It was a Tuesday! God, they really hadn’t thought this through…

“Er… Yes, I suppose you would. Do you…” Cavendish hesitated. The only vehicle they had was their time machine. It seemed like a terrible idea to let Milo into something that contained so much delicate machinery. But considering the boy’s penchant for calamity, it almost seemed worse to have him walk.

However, one more glance at his face made all of his common sense go out the window. “…need a ride?”

…

By some miracle, the time machine got to the school without being horribly damaged. The same couldn’t be said for three lampposts, an office building, and a random rat, though. Still, the fact that the vehicle was still perfectly functional was enough for Cavendish to feel a little better. Milo opened the door and stepped out onto the sidewalk, his usual cheerful grin on his face.

“Goodbye, Mr… Cavendish!” He said, clearly having to hesitate for a moment as he tried to think of the name. “I’ll see you after school!”

“Er, yes. Goodbye, child.” Cavendish quickly shut the door and drove off, thanking everything he could that he wouldn’t have to deal with Murphy’s law for a little while. Milo didn’t seem to notice the fact that he was going fifteen over the speed limit. He just started walking towards the school as he always did.

But before he could get anywhere, he was almost immediately tackled by Melissa.

“Milo, where were you?!” She exclaimed, a look of genuine concern on her face. “You were supposed to meet me in the park! I gave you three hours, and it usually takes you two and a half at most!”

Milo took a minute to catch his breath after being so suddenly thrown onto the sidewalk. However, he came up with a response pretty quickly. “Oh, yeah. I got kidnapped.” His tone was incredibly blase.

“You WHAT!?” Zack’s voice rang out from behind Melissa. Unlike her voice, which held concern, relief, and a touch of anger, he sounded genuinely terrified. “Dude, how are you even here?!”

“Don’t worry, I’m okay! They were nice people!”

“Milo, people who kidnap people aren’t nice!” Zack shouted, not caring how this sounded to the other students nearby. He was a bit more worried about his friend potentially being at risk of harm. “Did they hurt you? Torture you? Kill you?!”

“Obviously they didn’t kill him, Zack.” Melissa pointed out, her dry tone a welcome diversion from the panic. Then she turned to Milo. “Seriously though, are you okay?”

Milo shrugged. Truth be told, this sort of thing didn’t bother him whatsoever. He was a master at dealing with the unexpected. “I’m fine. They just wanted to adopt me.”

Zack had already looked ready to pass out, and that statement didn’t make it any better. “I’m sorry, what!? You’re trying to tell me that you got kidnapped by some people who wanted to adopt you, and you didn’t try to escape?!”

Melissa was far less horrified, but she was still worried. “Why didn’t you text me? I was waiting for you to respond all night,” she said softly.

Milo flinched slightly. Truth be told, he’d gotten so caught up in the excitement of what’d happened to think about his friends and how worried they must’ve been. “I-” he hesitated. What was he supposed to say? Both Zack and Melissa were silent. Eventually, he was able to say one simple phrase.

“…I’m sorry.” It wasn’t enough and he knew it. He just couldn’t bring himself to say anything else. Thankfully, it seemed to work.

Melissa’s expression softened significantly. She was still a little annoyed that he hadn’t texted her back and made her worry, but she didn’t want to see him upset. He dealt with enough in her eyes. “It’s fine. Just text me back next time, okay, idiot?”

Milo’s eyes brightened, his smile returning. It was so odd to see him without it, even if only for a moment. He laughed slightly. “Yeah, I will. If it doesn’t get destroyed, of course!”

Melissa chuckled, thankful to be back to the old routine. But before she could respond with her usual sarcastic humour, Zack cut her off.

“Okay, are we seriously just going to ignore the fact that Milo got kidnapped?!” He demanded, very clearly still shook.

“Eh, it’s not like it’s the worst thing that’s happened to him,” Melissa responded, not nearly as much worry in her voice. “That’d probably be-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. The llama incident.” Zack rolled his eyes, turning towards the school. “Can we just get to class? I’d prefer not to be horribly late.”

“Good idea!” Milo said with a smile, his hands on his backpack straps as always. This looked like it was shaping up to be a good day! But then again, in Milo’s mind, when wasn’t it?

Chapter Text

The trio arrived in science class, each taking their usual seats. Milo’s chair proceeded to almost immediately break as he got near it, but that didn’t bother him. He pulled a collapsible stool out of his bag and took a seat on that instead. It didn’t seem to phase him whatsoever, even as a pipe burst above him and Zack’s table. He pulled out an umbrella to shield them both. The familiar action was enough to calm Zack down a bit, even if he was still freaked out. However, it did the opposite for someone else.

“Ugh, seriously?” A voice from beside them complained. When Milo looked up from underneath the umbrella, he saw the familiar face of Bradley Nicholson. It was also entirely familiar that he was soaking wet due to the splash from the umbrella.

“Oh, hi Bradley!” Milo greeted him with a smile, as he always did. He started rummaging through his bag. “Hang on, I think I have a towel in here somewhere-”

“I don’t want your towel, Murphy. It’ll probably just fall apart or catch on fire the minute you touch it.” As always, Bradley’s scowl highly contrasted Milo’s grin. The pair were polar opposites, and unlike in some cases, it didn’t work in their favour.

“Hey, Bradley, be nice,” Melissa warned.

“Oh, it’s fine, Melissa,” reassured Milo. “He’s just not happy about getting wet. That’s perfectly normal!”

“Right. Because it’s so normal to get soaked by a freak pipe accident. That wouldn’t have anything to do with you at all, would it?” Bradley was clearly in a bad mood today, even worse than usual. He wasn’t even doing everything in his power to avoid Milo. He was being confrontational.

“Well, you know how it is!” Milo’s cheerful demeanour didn’t falter in the face of Bradley’s anger. In fact, he didn’t seem to care that he was being insulted. He hardly even registered it. “That’s just Murphy’s Law!”

“It’s stupid is what it is!” Bradley snapped. “You do realise that all you ever do is make people’s days worse, right? Everybody’s always giving you attention, when in reality, you’re nothing but a disaster magnet!”

That was enough for it to finally actually hit Milo. His cheerful grin fell ever so slightly, a hint of hurt popping up in his eyes. The words had hit exactly where they were supposed to. Melissa was the first to notice.

“Seriously, Bradley, knock it off!” Her words, pleading and feisty as they may have been, fell on deaf ears.

“Why should I? You’re smart, Melissa. Surely you can see that you’d be better off without him! He’s just a hazard! You know you could do so much more if you didn’t have him as a burden!”

Milo felt tears sting his eyes, but he quickly blinked them back. It was fine. They were just words. He could handle this. Even if the cruel words weaved their way into every crevice, every inch of his being, and held on tight, he could handle it. He’d heard worse.

“Dude, seriously!” Zack was trying to help, but all Milo heard was faint echoes. He wasn’t sure where he was in his mind right now, but it certainly wasn’t anywhere pleasant. “That’s enough!”

“Please. Are you really going to defend this freak?” Bradley wasn’t looking at Milo, but the words were still intended to hit him. He knew what he was doing. “You know I’m right. He’s ruined every single day you’ve been here! Didn’t you want a normal school year?”

“I did until I met him!” Zack retorted, his voice taking on a protective edge. He may not have known Milo for nearly as long as Melissa had, but that didn’t mean he didn’t care about him. “You just can’t admit that you’re jealous of the attention he gets!”

Truth be told, the yelling was really starting to get to Milo. He wasn’t sure if it was the fact that he was already sort of distressed or if it was just the volume being a little louder than it normally was, but he found himself picking up on every single sound in the room. The ticking of the clock, the footsteps of the students outside, the whispering of kids listening to their argument (he could even hear one kid placing bets on how long it’d take before Melissa swung), and even the slight drone of the air conditioning unit above them. It was slowly creating a torrent of noise that seemed to bombard Milo. He could feel his brain beginning to create that all too familiar static, even if it had started small.

He put his hands over his ears. Unfortunately, that didn’t save him from the argument happening a metre away from him.

“Jealous?” Bradley scoffed, rolling his eyes. Was he jealous? Oh, most certainly, but there was no way in hell he’d ever admit it. “Please. Why would I be jealous of that jinx?”

And there it was.

Jinx.

If Milo had been thinking straight, he probably would’ve been able to prepare for it. Of course Bradley would call him one. But he wasn’t, so the word hit like a punch to the gut. He found himself slowly backing out of the classroom while the others were too focused on their argument to notice. He slowly walked through the halls, looking for anywhere he could go. It didn’t take him long to find it: a janitor’s closet. Quiet, dark, and only slightly weird smelling. His slow speed changed as he practically ran into the closet, shutting the door and curling up into a ball. His eyes screwed shut and his hands flew over his ears as he began to quietly rock back and forth. The floodgates were open, and tears began streaming down his face.

Milo screamed, every single bit of emotion he was suffering from exiting his throat in a desperate plea for help. But there was nobody around to hear him

Chapter Text

The day continued and ended without nearly as much flair as it had begun. Milo did eventually leave the closet, and the rest of the day went on without incident. That’s said loosely, as a satellite did crash through the roof of the school, but that happened about every other Wednesday. It was far from a concern.

What was a concern was Milo. Instead of his usual cheerful demeanour, he was quiet. He tried to smile like always, but he just couldn’t bring himself to be his usual cheery person internally. He couldn’t get the words out of his head. He knew he could be hazardous, but would his friends really be better without him? He’d always found the adventures fun, but if they were just troublesome to the people he cared about, they weren’t worth it.

Melissa and Zack did everything they could. Melissa told him she’d happily punch Bradley and Zack tried to get him to talk about the 1901 Vandervert Douse Master 4, but it wasn’t working. He may have been smiling, but anyone with eyes could see that it wasn’t close to genuine. As the day came to an end, Melissa and Zack walked Milo out, still clearly concerned about their friend.

“Seriously, dude, talk to us,” insisted Melissa. “We know you’re upset. Just- Just be upset!”

“Bradley was being an arse!” Zack exclaimed as they passed through the door. “Stop trying to put a positive spin on feeling hurt and let us comfort you!”

“Guys, I’m fine.” Milo was lying through his teeth. He really just didn’t want to bother them. It was only a few hurtful words, after all. He’d heard it all (and worse) before. “He was just a little frustrated. I’ll be okay!”

“Yeah, but are you okay?” Asked Zack, his eyebrows pinched together due to a mix of concern and frustration. He hated how Milo refused to let himself be upset on the outside. That damned smile was nice when they were in a crisis, but now? All he wanted was to dig into Milo’s head and see what lay beneath the mask of unflappable optimism. However, before he could get the answer he desperately wanted, a car pulled up. Its left headlight was falling out, the paint was flaking off in numerous spots, the tires looked to be on their last leg, and pieces of the car had fallen off due to rusting. Milo was the only one to recognise it.

“Sorry guys, I gotta go. My ride’s here.”

“That’s your ride?!” Zack cried, taking in the broken vehicle. “What did you do to it!?”

“Actually, this wasn’t on me. It looked like that when I got in the car this morning, too.” Milo explained, a smile still on his face.

“Well, it definitely looks like a vehicle a kidnapper would use…” Melissa said with her usual dry tone. She was definitely concerned about Milo, but she was still going to be herself.

Meanwhile, inside the car, Cavendish and Dakota were bickering, as always.

“C’mon, Cav, why can’t we go to the zoo?” pleaded Dakota. “The kid would love it!”

“We went last week!” Cavendish was thoroughly done with this conversation, but he didn’t exactly have the means to stop it. Once Dakota was set on something, it was hard to talk him out of it. “And the week before that, and the week before that, and-”

“Alright, alright, I get it! Jeez…” Dakota looked ready to concede until an idea hit him. “Hey, what about the aquarium? It’s like a wet zoo!”

“You know what? We’ll go if you promise to never refer to it as a ‘wet zoo’ again.” 

“It’s a-” Before Dakota could excitedly finish his thoughts, Milo opened the door to the backseat and hopped in, not taking off his backpack even as he did. “Hey, kiddo! How was school?”

“Oh, you know. It was… school!” Milo gave his answer in his usual cheerful tone, but there was clearly something wrong. The smile seemed slightly forced, his eyes didn’t seem to shine as brightly as they had before, and that answer was clearly odd. Nobody answered a question like that if they’d actually had a good day. But of course, Dakota being Dakota, he didn’t realise it. But Cavendish did, and he decided to press.

“I see… And what happened? Anything interesting?” The question was a carefully laid trap. Cavendish had only known Milo for about a day, but even in that time it had become obvious that he didn’t go a day without something chaotic happening.

“No, not really,” lied Milo. He didn’t want to get into the whole thing with Bradley, so it was easier to lie. “It was pretty typical.”

Unfortunately for him, that was enough to tip off Dakota. “Hang on, really? Within five minutes of you being in our place, half of our stuff was on fire. There’s no way nothing happened.” He turned around in the passenger seat, looking back at Milo. It suddenly seemed all too obvious that something was wrong. “C’mon, kid. Something happened. Talk to us.”

Milo had a decision to make. He wasn’t entirely comfortable with the duo yet, and he really didn’t like talking about his negative feelings. It was so much easier to be happy. However, it was clear that they weren’t just going to let him stay quiet, so he decided to compromise. He’d simplify it.

“Well, someone at school was being kind of mean. But it’s okay. It’s nothing I haven’t-”

“Oh fuck no.” Dakota’s sharp tone cut Milo off, his fists clenched. He also hadn’t known Milo for very long, but he was already incredibly attached. “Who the hell was mean to you?!”

Cavendish pinched the bridge of his nose, grabbing Dakota’s shoulder. “No, Dakota. No violence. We can’t go attacking children.”

Dakota’s expression was a mix of annoyance and disappointment. “Come on, Cav! The brat clearly has it coming!”

“No! Bad Dakota! We can’t harm teenagers over a boy we barely know!” Cavendish exclaimed, his voice beginning to rise in volume. Milo put his hands over his ears, anticipating that it was about to get loud.

“But-” Dakota was about to continue when he realised that Milo looked upset. He quickly lowered his volume, his attention now fully on the boy in their car. “…Kid? You okay?”

Milo nodded, dropping his hands. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just don’t like loud noises.”

Well, now both of them felt guilty. “Ah… my apologies, lad,” muttered Cavendish. “We’ll be certain to keep that in mind.”

“Yeah, sorry kid,” added Dakota. “Just… if you need anything, you tell us, okay? I’ll happily beat up whoever the hell was picking on you.”

“Dakota-” started Cavendish.

“I’m just being nice!”

Milo chuckled as the two began to bicker again, this time a lot quieter. Maybe he’d call Melissa later and talk to her about the whole thing. Then again, maybe he wouldn’t. It was impossible to know what was going to happen.

Chapter Text

It took about forty-five minutes for them to get back to the motel. The ride was meant to be twenty minutes, but a run-in with a crashed oil tanker made it so they had to take the long way around. Milo could still hear Bradley’s cruel words echoing in the back of his skull, but he was able to push them away. He happily walked up the dingy, crumbling stairs that led to the second floor of rooms and pushed open the motel door, sitting on the bed that was his for the time being. Cavendish and Dakota followed behind, both of them somewhat amazed.

“How the devil did those stairs not collapse?” questioned Cavendish, more to himself than anything.

“Oh, that’s the thing!” Milo answered happily, seemingly not realising that the question was supposed to be rhetorical. “Poorly made motels are usually the sturdiest. We usually stay in one of these for vacations in case of a lightning storm, flash flood, or tornado!”

“Kid, I don’t think he was-” Dakota was about to explain the whole ‘not supposed to answer’ thing to him when something caught his attention. “Hang on, you’ve seen a tornado? We live up north.”

“Dakota, we almost ran into an orca despite being nowhere near water on our drive home today. Are you really going to question anything with this boy?” Cavendish remarked, his tone sarcastic and slightly mocking.

Before Dakota could respond, a soft chirping sound could be heard from what was, at least to Milo, a strange object in the corner of the room. It was similar to an arcade cabinet in shape aside from being a lot more flat. The grey colour wasn’t all that notable, but the buttons on a panel in front of it were in various shades of red, green, yellow, and orange. The screen itself, mostly dark, had a message in a futuristic font on it:

[INCOMING TRANSMISSION]

If anything, Milo just looked curious. Cavendish and Dakota, on the other hand, looked worried. Dakota turned to Milo, a shaky smile on his face.

“Hey, kid! Why don’t we play a game called, uh… get in the closet and don’t leave until one of us says to!”

Cavendish facepalmed. “You’re supposed to say ‘hide-and-seek’, you dolt.”

“Look, I’m thinking on the fly here!” Dakota, unlike any way Milo had ever seen him, looked a bit panicked. “This is my first time trying to hide a teenager from-” Before he could finish, Cavendish had already escorted Milo to the closet.

“Right then. In with you,” he stated, giving Milo a shove towards the door.

“But w-” Milo began, a look of confusion on his face. However, Cavendish had shut and locked the door before Milo could do much to stop him.

The inside of the motel closet was dark and cramped. A suit jacket brushed up against his right shoulder. Milo wasn’t claustro-avoidant like Zack, so this was fine for him. He pulled a torch and the eighteenth edition of the Doctor Zone Files comic series, sat down, and started to read. But of course, the torch went out in all of three seconds. And since he’d had to throw his backup at the orca earlier, he didn’t actually have anything to do. He never really packed for entertaining himself while being shoved in a closet, usually just ways to get out. So, with nothing better to do, he pressed his ear up against the door and began to listen.

The first thing Milo heard was a fairly standard (albeit muffled) ringtone. It was electronic sounding as one might have heard on a Nokia or similar device. After just a bit of that, it stopped, and a voice he’d never heard spoke up.

“Cavendish. Dakota.” The voice was gravelly and high in pitch. It clearly belonged to a man, but other than that, he couldn’t really tell much about him.

“Mr. Block, sir,” responded Cavendish. The hints of trepidation and annoyance in his voice were missed by Milo. “The mission is still underway.”

“Yeah,” Dakota chimed in. “We’ve got nothing to report.”

“Nope! Absolutely nothing! Nothing of note has happened whatsoever!” Cavendish was definitely overcompensating, not that Milo could really blame him. He didn’t know why they couldn’t tell whoever this “Mr. Block” was about him, but he was certain they had a reason of some kind.

Mr. Block, however, quickly responded. And even Milo could tell he didn’t believe them. “Really? So you mean to tell me that absolutely nothing has happened? You two haven’t done anything I wouldn’t approve of?”

“Yeah, really. Nothing’s happened,” Dakota stated nonchalantly. Even in the very short time he’d known him, Milo had noticed that the brunette always seemed to keep a cool head.

The same, however, did not apply to Cavendish. No, he was absolutely freaking out. “Mhm! Everything is excellent! We haven’t broken a singular rule!”

“Is that so? Then you mean that…” Mr. Block paused.

Everything was ungodly still for a second. Though Milo had no idea why they were so insistent on keeping him hidden, he figured they must have a good reason. Maybe it was the whole kidnapping thing, even though he’d agreed to stay willingly.

“You two haven’t been eating the pistachios you’re supposed to be protecting?!” Though it was more than obvious that Mr. Block was furious, the entire room seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. He didn’t know about Milo. They were safe.

“Oh, right. You’re talking about that.” Cavendish chuckled nervously.

“Of course I’m talking about that!” Mr. Block screamed through the device, causing an unfortunate feedback that made Milo cover his ears. “If you two numbskulls don’t shape up and get this mission done, you’re both fired! Understood?!”

“Yes, sir…” said the duo in unison. Dakota’s voice was monotone and a bit annoyed, while Cavendish was more sincere and even a little afraid.

“Good! Now get back to work!” Almost the second that was said, a small chirping sound was heard and the room went quiet. A few muffled whispers that Milo couldn’t make out later, and light flooded the closet.

“Alright, kiddo, you’re good.” Dakota grabbed Milo’s arm, helping him to his feet. “Sorry about that. Our boss isn’t huge on kids. Or us. Or anything, really.”

Meanwhile, near the machine, Cavendish was panicking. “Dakota, what on earth were we thinking!? We can’t just keep shoving the boy in closets! We’ll be found out! We’ll be fired!”

“Relax, Cavendish.” Dakota walked over to Cavendish’s side, taking his hand. Despite his typical nonchalant nature, he cared about his partner more than he could ever put into words. “It’s gonna be fine, okay? We’ll figure something out.”

All the while, Milo was standing awkwardly in the corner, about eight hundred questions on his mind. But for the moment, he stayed out of the way. It was probably for the best to just let them have their moment.

Chapter Text

Ten very boring minutes later, Cavendish was finally in a state where Milo felt comfortable asking questions. He stepped forward, his voice cutting through the quiet that had fallen over the room.

“Okay, who was that guy? And what’s this about pistachios?”

Cavendish and Dakota shared a look. Cavendish shook his head slightly, but Dakota stepped forward. He seemed slightly hesitant. “Look, kid, we probably should tell you what we do.”

“Dakota-” started Cavendish, grabbing his arm.

“Cav, he was gonna find out at some point. We can’t really do everything while he’s at school.” After waiting for Cavendish to relent and let go of his arm, Dakota took a deep breath before continuing. “We’re… we’re time travellers.”

Now, the duo were expecting confusion. Maybe even to be laughed at or called crazy. What they weren’t expecting was for Milo’s eyes to light up.

“Time travel? Like in The Doctor Zone Files?!” exclaimed Milo, beginning to flap his hands. The pair had made the error of mentioning something related to his hyperfixation, like daring to bring up the word pistachio around fans of a certain children’s cartoon. “Oh my god, I love that show!”

“Now, wait a moment-” Cavendish began.

“Have you guys seen the movie!? It premiered in the movie theatre just north of here! I think they’re still showing it!” Milo continued, showing no signs of stopping.

Dakota stepped forward, extending a hand. “Uh, kid-”

Milo was pacing now, casually stepping out of the way of Dakota’s arm without even realising it. One of the only times he wasn’t hypervigilant of his surroundings was when he was infodumping. “We should go see it- well, not if you haven’t watched the show first, of course. And then we have to get into all the other incarnations, and of course there’s The Doctor Zone Files Files, and there was a spinoff that failed miserably and was absolutely awful but is still technically important to the lore, and-”

“MILO!” the time travellers shouted at the same time. This was enough to stop Milo in his tracks, and he gave them a sheepish smile.

“Oh, uh, right. Too much?” he asked, looking down at the floor. Cavendish looked ready to make some kind of scathing remark, but Dakota cut him off before he could begin.

“Uh, maybe just a little.” A beat of awkward silence followed. Milo kept looking at the floor, Cavendish was trying to comprehend half of what Milo had said, and Dakota kept looking between the two, trying to figure out anything to say. “You really like that show, huh?”

“Yeah! My sister and I have been watching it for years now! My favourite episode is probably episode 368, where Doctor Zone and Time Ape visit an inter-temporal zoo to join a talent contest and-” Milo slapped a hand over his mouth, stopping his rant in its tracks. He didn’t want to annoy them. “Right. Sorry.”

Cavendish and Dakota glanced at each other. Truthfully, did they feel like listening to the kid rant? Of course not. Neither of them knew anything about the show. However, could they really look at this kid and say ‘No, you can’t tell us about this thing that makes you happy’? That wasn’t going to happen. They had to find a compromise.

Cavendish was the first to speak despite having absolutely no idea what he was going to say. “Listen, Milo, uh…” he stared at Dakota, eyes filled with desperation.

“How ‘bout we go see that movie sometime this week? Y’know, so we can have some context?” Dakota suggested, thinking fast. Cavendish shot him a glare, but before he could say anything, an excited squeal escaped Milo’s throat.

“Really!?” exclaimed Milo, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Oh my gosh, this is going to be great! You guys are gonna love it! I still don’t think you should see it before we watch the show, but who cares?! I can give you guys a copy of The Doctor Zone Files Files if you want!”

Milo pulled a thick, worn book out of his backpack. The spine was covered in scotch and duct tape, the pages looked to be torn and damaged in all manner of ways, and there were even a few scorch marks on it.

“Wow. How many generations has that thing been in your family?” asked Dakota, a hint of disbelief in his voice.

“Oh, just one. I bought it six months ago,” Milo answered with little hesitation. He held it as one might hold a precious relic. “It has all of the Doctor Zone lore in it! I’ve even made a few footnotes with my own personal theories, but those aren’t really important!” Then, though he hesitated, he held it out to the pair.

Dakota was the one to take it. He tried to be gentle with it (it looked like it might fall apart at any moment, after all), but Milo’s hands didn’t seem as inclined to give it up as his face made them think he was. He had to- very gently- rip it out of Milo’s hands.

“So, uh…” Dakota started, deciding it was time to change the subject. “Ya have any questions for us?”

“Yes,” added Cavendish, thankful that they were finally off the topic he didn’t care about whatsoever. “I’m certain you must be curious about time travel.”

“Oh, uh, yeah!” Milo said, still a little distracted by the fact that he’d just given up his book. “Um… How does it work?”

Cavendish and Dakota glanced at each other. Maybe they shouldn’t have asked if he had any questions. “Well, uh… you see…” stammered Cavendish.

“We have absolutely no idea. We just press a button.” Dakota decided to just get it out of the way.

“Oh,” said Milo. Admittedly, he’d thought it’d be a lot more complicated than that. “Well, if it works anything like it does in the Doctor Zone franchise-”

Dakota, realising where this was going, quickly intervened. “Kid, uh… not until we read the book! We wouldn’t understand it right now.”

Cavendish shot Dakota another look. That basically guaranteed they’d have to listen to him talk about it at some point. However, Milo seemed pleased, simply nodding. He sat down on the bed they’d given him, rummaged through his backpack, and pulled out the same comic he’d been reading earlier. He never got to talk about Doctor Zone with anyone other than Sara and his dad, so it was really nice to have someone else to talk to about it. Dakota just shrugged at Cavendish.

“Hey, at least we got plans for the week.”

Cavendish simply grumbled.