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“Don’t be so rough. There can't be any marks.” They were in the living room of Tommy's utilitarian apartment, just two big guys trying to fit onto a small two seat flea market sofa to fool around.
Sal had almost fallen off twice, but it was very worth it to have the younger man's bulk pressed against his own. It felt forbidden and unbearably hot with the blinds drawn and the lights off, movie flickering on the TV behind them.
He deliberately didn't think about Gina, waiting for him at home and that he maybe hadn't mentioned that to Tommy before this had all gone down.
"I promise." He said instead, lightning his touch and refusing to think about it not being for the benefit of Gerard and staying in the closet but to hide whatever was forming between him and Tommy. And there was definitely something.
"Maybe we shouldnt..." Tommy was panting, barely catching his breath. He was as deep in as he could get and Sal knew that he had been dating someone over at dispatch and so couldn't really cast too many stones.
At least he wasn't married though.
Don't think about that.
"Hey, look at me." Sal said instead, nudging Tommy's cheek with his nose in a way he knew the romantic man loved. A small gesture just for him.
"You go, I go, remember?" He knew Tommy was talking about the station and the atmosphere that was suffocating them both and responded in kind. The relentless toxicity, the comments and jibes that were cruel at the inside but inescapable and holding them in line to be people they hated. Tommy deserved better than that. He wasn't sure if he did though. Maybe someday he will be better.
It wasn't all though, the thought scared him to the bone but at the first nod from Tommy he would go. He would run away with the giant goof and play house until the world burned down around them. Run away from Gina and the pregnant belly that scared the shit out of him as well. Run away from the 118.
He could picture it so clearly.
"But Gerard..."
"I know." He said, even though he knew more, especially since he and Tommy were having two very different conversations. Maybe one day he will let Tommy in on it too, when it wasn't so terrifying. "We'll get through it."
"I have a bad feeling about this." Sal couldn't help but smile, casting a glance at the screen that lit up the room with miniature space explosions.
"I'm cutting you off, no star wars for a month." Sal said, voice teasing but gentle as he smoothed his thumbs over Tommy's knife sharp cheekbones. "Let me make you feel something different...."
He pulled the other man in for another soft kiss, a little desperate for Tommy's fears to be unfounded. For his fears to be overcome.
He had a bad feeling about this too.