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It was a Saturday. The weekend. Patty no longer differentiated weekends from any other day. She got up, got dressed and went to the office. On a Saturday she was usually alone there. Occasionally a bleary eyed associate may be making up time or trying to impress. Patty usually ignored them. Sunday was the only day she stayed at home. Catherine and herself would circle each other like virtual strangers. Each too frightened of upsetting the other. Neither knowing how to act or react. Catherine was nine years old. All she had in the world was her grandmother and her nanny. Patty had no idea what to do with her. When her son was murdered she closed herself off from everything but work, the one constant in her life. The only thing that had not cheated on her or let her down. The only thing she had got right.
Patty worried constantly about her health. She had seen her physician more in the past three years than she had in her entire life. She had to stay alive long enough to see Catherine into adulthood. It was the only thing left she could do for her son. Her errant golden boy who had been a disappointment from the day he was born. She had wanted a girl. She fed him, clothed him and, as her profile increased, provided him with every opportunity to thrive.
He fought her at every turn. He was wayward, directionless and entitled. Michael was an arch manipulator. His blond haired, blue eyed innocent looks had fooled his elementary school teachers. High school was little different. His superficial charm and charisma made him popular amongst his peers and they helped shield him from accountability. He began to believe he could get away with anything. The apple never fell far from the tree.
Michael’s obsessive preoccupation with his mother eventually brought about his demise. The seeds she had sown years ago came back to haunt her. He never wanted to be a father to his child, he wanted to punish and hurt Patty the way she had done to him. In a way he was right. She had wrested care of Catherine from her mother believing it would bring Michael back to her. Leverage. She had used her granddaughter as leverage. Perhaps she got the son she deserved.
Now he was dead. In the ground at twenty two. Instead of making his way in the world, Michael had left it. The ultimate revenge. The shock had left Patty floundering ever since. She drank to excess. She worked to excess but the edge had gone. She couldn’t summon the desire to fight now she had nothing left to lose.
Catherine regarded her with same reproachful blue eyed stare as her son, yet she was docile and compliant. Patty could not imagine what was going on behind those eyes but she feared it. She feared the judgement she knew would come. Until then she would raise her as well as she was able. That fuelled her determination to stay healthy. That aim was what had her stood in line in a pharmacy on a cold Saturday morning in November.
“Hewes” she articulated clearly to the inept assistant behind the counter. She even spelt it out lest she received someone else’s medication. Nothing would surprise her anymore. As she waited she was disturbed by a clatter of falling objects from a display. She turned to see a gap toothed youngster who had clearly chosen her own outfit with little regard for the weather. Her hair was cut short, she had lively, curious eyes that were currently comically wide with shock at the commotion she had caused. Then she heard the mother’s voice calling the child back to her. Patty froze. She knew that voice. That slightly strident, too high pitched, ‘listen to me’ voice. Ellen Parsons. Her one time associate from almost a decade ago. The catalyst for all that was to come.
Their eyes locked briefly and Patty turned away. She turned her back as Ellen had after Michael. She had turned her back and simply walked away.
Ellen had every reason to despise her. In the preceding years she had lost her fiancé, almost lost her life and came perilously close to losing her sanity after falling into a pit of rage fuelled by paranoia. Ellen was stronger than Patty gave her credit for. She clawed her way back and burrowed herself into Patty’s psyche. She learned how to play the game. As the years passed, they were no longer master and apprentice. Patty knew time was running out.
There was no trust of course but favours were asked for and granted. They fought bitterly but could put there differences aside if there was advantages to be gained or information to be traded. Patty was still a step ahead but the distance was closing and they both knew it. Ellen’s ambition blinded her at times. Patty’s undisputed talent for deception may have kept the truth locked in the vault of her tortured mind if it wasn’t for Michael. Her child and her nemesis combined to begin the chain of events which would end in Ellen’s final departure and the murder of her son.
Ellen had her truth. Patty had been the malevolent shadow behind it all. Her relentless pursuit of Arthur Frobisher eclipsed her normally impeccable judgement and suddenly this young girl who was to be used and discarded had enough knowledge, enough guts, enough anger and ambition to end Patty’s stellar career. To take away everything she had dedicated her life to achieving. Patty could not allow that to happen. Ellen was a loose cannon. She was unpredictable after losing David and that made her a dangerous threat. Ellen had to be silenced. She had to go. At the time Patty believed there was no other option. She lured her to her apartment, held her hand and told her everything would be alright. She may have well have kissed her cheek. The ultimate betrayal.
The years that followed were tortuous. Ellen suspected but she didn’t know for certain. They hovered around each other’s lives neither one wanting nor daring to let go. Ellen on her quest for the truth, but any advantages in the meantime were there to be taken. Patty still believed if Ellen achieved her career goals and satisfied her own rampant ambition she may leave the past where it belonged. Over the years she handed Ellen every advantage she could. She supported her career, sometimes from the sidelines, sometimes more directly. They were even unlikely allies at times. Patty believed fate had brought them together. In the end, despite all her efforts, it was fate that decided how it all played out.
Patty stalked back to the town car clutching her prescription. She sat down, her face a mask as she entertained the unlikely scenario of Ellen tapping on the window and introducing her daughter. Ellen smiling shyly and thanking her. Ellen in her cheap shoes and old coat finally appreciating everything Patty had tried to do.
It never happened. It never would. Ellen was as dead to her as Michael.
“Take me to the office.” She barked at the driver.
Lost in the past. Lost in her memories. Lost without Ellen.