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Edwina did not want to compare herself to other ladies. It was something she was working on as she sought to find herself, especially not comparing herself to another Diamond. Occasionally, Edwina found herself comparing her life to that of her mother. Her mother was brave and beautiful and, by all accounts, was the most sought-after lady.
Lady Danbury noticed that Edwina had been quiet since leaving the palace. She was certainly quieter than she used to be. In the carriage, she gently nudged Edwina with her cane.
“What is on your mind, child?” Lady Danbury asked.
Edwina bit her lip and looked up from her lap. “Lady Danbury, do you think Prince Friedrich likes me?”
“I would say that he does,” the older woman replied with a smile. “He is certainly attentive and thoughtful. I dare say I believe the two of you like one another. Did something happen?”
Edwina shook her head. “No, I… I have enjoyed spending time with His Highness. I did not know he was courting the Duchess of Hastings.”
Agatha nodded slowly. “He was.”
"I'm not foolish enough to think he has never courted anyone before," Edwina continued. “But I can’t help but wonder if it is me or a Diamond that he truly seeks.”
She then shook her head. “I suppose I am being far too picky. I should be grateful for his attention and kindness.” There seemed to be little interest in her this season; not many men wanted a has-been bride. She was seen as fickle and haughty.
Edwina put on a tense smile, “Forgive me, Lady Danbury. I suppose I am merely exhausted.” She excused.
Agatha nodded slightly, but kept her eyes on the young lady until they returned home, studying her.
Edwina sat at her dressing table and brushed her hair as she thought about Friedrich.
He had been honest, of course, discussing previous courtships. The Duchess of Hastings had not been the only lady he had been paired with. A princess from one of the Bavarian provinces, the daughter of a Prussian princess and a Russian count who was a close relative to the Tsar. Then Daphne Bridgerton, the daughter and sister to a Viscount.
Who was she? For how wonderful her family was, she knew how they were viewed by society. Edwina had noble blood through grandparents who had disowned them. Her father was deemed common. What did he want?
She knew how she was viewed by society. The Diamond who failed to marry. The Diamond who dared to jilt such a great man, who was clearly not at fault, for he was English, rich, titled and married. To her elder sister.
Scandalous. So, what did Prince Friedrich want? Was it pressure from his aunt and his own king?
She removed her robe and blew out the candles before climbing into bed, unwilling to stare in the mirror much longer.
Edwina does not see Friedrich the following day. But a bouquet of lavender roses accompanied a collection of three books wrapped in a silk ribbon. She smiled to herself as she read the spines - Ovid and The Story of Emma, Daughter of Charlemagne, and His Scribe Eginhard.
So, he had listened when she asked about German folk stories.
She could ask her Mama. Perhaps she should. But Edwina did not want warm platitudes and to speak of hearts meeting.
She asked her Mama over tea what her season was like, realising she scarcely spoke of it outside of meeting her later Father.
"When you debuted, did you court any gentlemen before Appa?” Edwina asked curiously. She stood, walking over to one of the bookshelves in the drawing room, feigning nonchalance.
Mary nodded, "I did. The Queen introduced me to the now Duke of Richmond. My parents arranged something with the Earl of Lancaster." She listed, recalling the men.
"And Appa did not mind?' Edwina asked, looking back at her.
Her mother chuckled, placing her embroidery on her lap. "No. He was worried that he could not compare. I told him that the very fact he could recall the colour of the dress I had worn the day before set him above both men."
Edwina smiled, thinking of her father. He was a detailed oriented man, she remembered that. His study and library were always immaculate, organised.
"Did His Highness upset you?" Mary wondered.
"No, not at all. I was curious." Edwina quickly assured, turning back and smiling, "There are some gentlemen who do not like ladies who have failed courtships.
Mary frowned, "Any gentleman who values a woman based on her courtships and rumours is unworthy." she said.
"Is that not how most men value women?"
"Many, yes." Mary agreed, "But others are realistic, they understand how the season works. And some are only focused on impressing you, not to compete but to only impress you."
With his gifts and flowers and wit, Edwina wondered if it was solely for her. She allowed a part of herself to hope so.
Kate pays a visit to Danbury House, the invitation coming from Lady Danbury from tea because an unmarried lady cannot invite a lady to tea, even if they are sisters.
“The sickness has passed, finally.” Kate told her, sitting on the settee. There is a slight curve to her stomach, under her deep blue day dress, “I believe I am sick of peppermint tea that Mama keeps brewing.”
Edwina smiled, “She could open a shop with all the leaves she is growing and buying.”
“What of you? How was Marquess Anglesey’s ball?” Kate asked, “I was told they have a new chandelier.”
“It was very grand and the chandelier was beautiful.” Edwina said, recalling the large structure that hung above the ballroom. Though she had hoped it would fall at one point, giving her ample excuse to leave.
“I was wondering how your courtship with Prince Friedrich is.”
“All is well.” Edwina replied, sipping her tea.
But she could see the wheels turning in her older sister's mind, questions on her lips. She was better at seeing those things in her now and far better at speaking up now.
“Speak your mind, Kate.”
Kate blinked, “Oh, well, there is nothing really. I only hoped for more.”
“More?”
“What is he like? Do you like being around him? Does he bring you flowers?” Kate listed as examples, a small smile on her face.
“All suitors bring flowers.” Edwina said, “And he is a respectable suitor.”
Kate giggled, “How romantic.”
Edwina shifted in her seat, "It is not romance I seek but respect.” She explained, “Please do not mock me.”
Kate frowned, leaning forward, “Oh, bon. I am not mocking you, I promise. But the two can coexist in my opinion.”
Edwina shook her head ever so slightly, “In my limited experience, the search for romance blinds one and so, I allowed myself to be disrespected.”
Kate glances down. Edwina let out a sigh. She doesn't like being angry or sad, but it is hard to speak of the courting experience with her sister. There cannot be any giggling, because she wants to be unconditionally happy for her sister. But that happiness is twisted up with humiliation, guilt and bitterness. But deep in her heart, underneath all the layer of humiliation and shame she felt, that feeling she'd nurtured during their engagement still lingered, she knew she'd fallen in love with an idea of the man and not with him, but it didn't change the fact that such feelings existed.
Kate gently placed a hand upon Edwina's and gave her sister a small smile, “I have no doubt that he has great respect for you.” She said, nodding, “Truly.”
Edwina cleared her throat, “I do not know why he is courting me.”
Kate frowned, confused by her statement and tilted her head questioningly.
“I do not know why he is courting me and frankly, I do not think I want to know why.” Edwina stated, “He is being respectful and kind and I believe asking for more would be rather…” She clicked her tongue, looking at Kate once more, “Foolish.”
“It is not foolish.” Kate assured. “You deserve more than mere respect. And you are an accomplished young lady. The Queen's Diamond!”
“I was the Queen's Diamond.” Edwina corrected. Her Majesty still enjoyed her company for now, but her eyes were on Francesca's future. Then another young lady would come along.
“Well, what I would like is respect. To be seen as a whole person, not someone to merely fill a role. Love and all those flowery words do not matter if there is no respect.”
Kate nodded, “How very shrewd.”
Edwina likes being shrewd. The remark brings a small smile to her face. Even if she can see Kate is confused as to why she does not seek a love match, she finds that her nerves are settled because she is being rational in her approach to Friedrich.
Before she departs Kate takes Edwina's hands and squeezed them warmly.
“You may not wish for my input but I believe His Highness truly likes you for you. Especially from what Mama has told me. I do not think pressure from his aunt is the one reason that he courts you.” Kate said
Daphne was a diamond. Beautiful, poised, and radiant, she possessed a wild spirit that emerged when she was among her family, passionately arguing with her brothers and sisters, unafraid of appearing uncouth.
Edwina had initially felt intimidated by her. Then, resentment had taken root within her. But now, after discovering they were both courting the same man, she found herself intrigued by Daphne's presence.
“Kate mentioned to me that you are currently courting His Highness, Prince Friedrich of Prussia,” Daphne began conversationally, her tone warm but with a hint of mischief as they strolled through Regent's Park, “He is indeed quite the catch.”
“Yes, your Grace,” Edwina replied mildly. She wondered what Daphne's remark truly meant. “Her Majesty introduced us.”
“He is wonderful,” Daphne continued, “Truly, I always enjoyed our conversations. He was ever so thoughtful; a dear friend. Cressida assumed I merely sought a good title, which is what all ladies wish for in this society. But the rumor that I sought a prince was dismissed rather quickly, much to my relief.”
“A marriage would certainly put those rumors to rest, especially if it were to a Duke,” Edwina agreed.
Daphne glanced at Edwina, curiosity dancing in her expression. Edwina still bore the weight of what had transpired in the previous season, where she failed to secure a match as the Queen’s incomparable. “Yes, indeed,” Daphne acknowledged.
As they continued their walk through the park, silence enveloped them, the sounds of the day around them - chattering and children's laughter - filling that silence. Edwina clutched her small purse tightly, determined not to fidget, while Daphne’s arms swung gently by her sides. Outwardly, they were the ladies' society saw them as; two women on a mindless stroll, no doubt discussing dresses.
“Miss Sharma,” Daphne broke the silence, “I know that last season was somewhat… difficult. But I hope you do not believe I harbour any animosity towards you.”
“Why would I think that?” Edwina asked.
Daphne's face warmed, a faint blush on her cheeks. “Well, with everything that occurred with my brother. Oh, I do not know! I often wonder how others perceive me. It is a feeling I can’t quite shake, especially given our past. I am trying to work through that flaw; to be content with myself.”
“I understand,” Edwina replied quietly. They exchanged a tentative smile, and Edwina found herself building a new layer of understanding about the Duchess. Despite being just a year or two older, Daphne was already a mother of two, and she, too, struggled with the desire for acceptance.
“May I ask you a question?” Edwina ventured, and at Daphne’s nod, she continued, “What prompted you to marry the Duke?”
“Quite simply, I loved Simon,” Daphne explained, her voice softening with the mention of her husband. “I was fond of Friedrich, too. He was a remarkable man, and I often imagined a happy life with him.”
“But you didn’t choose that path,” Edwina observed.
Daphne nodded, biting her lip as she considered her next words. “I feared I would fade into his world, into the overwhelming weight of his title and rank. The thought of leaving England, of terrifying.” She paused, her expression shifting to one of genuine interest. “Do you feel similarly?”
“In a way,” Edwina admitted, her brow furrowing in thought. “I feel overwhelmed, though not by Friedrich himself. I often wonder why he has chosen to pursue me... another Incomparable.”
“Is it not that very title that might explain it?” Daphne replied thoughtfully. “Within our ranks, there are unspoken expectations. We both know the right things to say and do. It makes sense for Her Majesty to present her most eligible gentlemen to us.”
Edwina nodded, lost in thought. His position indeed demanded a level of perfection that made her nervous.
“I wondered the same,” Daphne confessed, her tone lightening as she glanced at Edwina. “I simply could not understand why His Highness would be interested in me. He could have easily ignored his aunt’s suggestions, yet he chose to follow her advice.” She chuckled softly, adding, “Even when I was at my most nervous, his kindness never wavered.”
Unlike others, Edwina found that Friedrich put her at ease. It was a quality that almost frightened her with its rarity. “He is thoughtful and kind. I find great joy in spending time with him,” she confessed, a smile creeping onto her face. “He often brings me books he believes I would enjoy.”
Daphne’s smile widened, It’s nice, that you can be your true self around him.”
“Indeed,” Edwina replied, her expression turning serious once more. “However, I find myself mired in scandal, to say the least. I desire a match that is sensible, with someone who respects me as a person.”
“You were quite adamant about wanting a love match in the past,” Daphne remarked
“Forgive me for changing my mind,” Edwina retorted, a hint of defensiveness creeping into her voice. She didn’t wish to delve into the complexities of marriage and love, especially not with Daphne, the sister of her former betrothed.
Daphne’s smile faltered, but she nodded in understanding. “Of course. A sensible match with a good man can be a blessing in itself,” she agreed. “Most negotiations regarding marriage are usually settled long before the union, which can be disheartening.”
“My mother also described marriage as a diplomatic venture,” Edwina stated, reflecting on her upbringing. “After all, my father was a diplomat.”
“Perhaps he graciously allowed Lady Mary to express her terms, which is more than many women are afforded,” Daphne quipped.
As they reached the end of their stroll and returned to the bustling fête, the sounds of children laughing and playing, the animated chatter of guests, caused Edwina to tense slightly. The overwhelming noise of the gathering wore on her, and she felt a rush of fatigue from the day’s events.
"Did you ever feel trapped?” Edwina wondered aloud, her voice barely above a whisper, as she surveyed the crowd, “As though you have to live up to everyone’s expectations?”
"Did you feel trapped?" Edwina wondered aloud, her brow furrowing with concern. "As though you have only one last chance to secure your place in society?"
Daphne took a moment. "I was engaged thrice, in a manner," she began, her voice quiet and contemplative, "My first engagement was an arrangement not of my maming. It was frightening." She paused, allowing her words to sink in. "I was fortunate to find the opportunity to escape it unscathed, and everyone recognised how terrible he was. I know that our situations may not exactly mirror each other, but you are still a Diamond; there are choices for ladies like us, even if they seem limited."
Edwina’s heart sank at the thought of her own predicament. The last season had come at a great cost, one that had left her feeling vulnerable and exposed.
"I do not think we are alike in that regard, but I appreciate you saying so." Edwina replied softly, offering a small smile and Daphne returned the gesture.
“If you do not mind me saying so," Daphne continued thoughtfully, "I truly believe you and His Highness are a good match. I know he would never disgrace you should you choose not to accept him. He is a good man kind, scholarly, and worldly."
“That is kind of you to say," Edwina replied, her voice a mix of gratitude and hesitance.
“Well, it is the truth,” Daphne insisted, her tone firm yet gentle. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you. It reminds me, well, of the way Simon looks at me.”
They curtsied to one another and said their farewells. Edwina felt rather better, knowing that Daphne was quite similar to herself. She understood the pressures she felt, the anxiety.
When Edwina is next at the palace, on a sunny Wednesday she is required to wear yellow as many of the court are. As they walk through the vast and lush gardens, she noticed the shades of yellows, cream and gold on various courtiers. She was in a warm shade of yellow, her dress embroidered with flowers that match her pale pink gloves.
But Friedrich remains in Prussian blue; the colour brings out his eyes. His eyes that she could get lost in, so she did get best to stare straight ahead.
“I apologise for not arranging another of our walks sooner.” Friedrich said as they strolled, their chaperones not too far behind. He had been out of London, returned only last night and a noted invitation sent that morning.
“No apology is necessary, Your Highness. I understand that you are to be preoccupied by matters of state.” Edwina replied.
“Still, I want you to know that it was duty, not choice, to be kept away from you.” Friedrich said softly, his hands clasped behind his back as he bashfully added, “Our time together is something I look forward to.”
Edwina looked up at him, “As do I.”
Friedrich clasped her hand and pulled her along a path, away from the. Edwina held back a giggle as they escaped into the nearby maze.
The three ladies, his aunt, her mother and guardian did not notice at first.
“Where on earth-?” Agatha frowned as she realised they were out of view.
Mary frowned, worried, “Oh no, what if they think she has no family?”
“People shall think,” Charlotte interrupted and smirked as she gently fanned herself, “that the courtship is incredibly successful.” she chortled, the gold chain on her wig swaying as she laughed, “Come, let us sit.”
Edwina and Friedrich arrived at the heart of the garden, where a magnificent fountain commanded attention, its crystal-clear waters spouting from the delicate stone cupids that surrounded it.
“Now we can speak more openly, I hope,” Friedrich said, his voice softening as he took in the serene surroundings.
Edwina gracefully lowered herself onto a weathered stone bench, while Friedrich opted to remain standing, his posture slightly tense yet elegant. He hesitated for a moment, his ears tinged with a hint of pink, the flush of vulnerability evident as he turned to meet her gaze.
“Not that I feel unable to speak with you. But I must confess, Lady Danbury's watchful eyes leave me somewhat intimidated,” he admitted, a sheepish smile breaking the tension and making Edwina chuckle softly.
“Yes, I can agree with that,” she replied.
Friedrich sat down beside her, maintaining a respectful distance yet his eyes were locked onto hers that stirred something warm within Edwina.
“I had a feeling that since we last saw one another, that there was something the matter.” Friedrich said carefully, “I would like to know what I could do to reassure you.”
Edwina stared at him, blinking in surprise before looking down at her lap, her fingers nervously toying with the fabric of her wrap.
“Well, I was taken aback to discover that we have both experienced the misfortune of courting a Bridgerton,” Edwina remarked.
Friedrich let out a light, hearty chuckle, “Indeed.”
Edwina’s fingers played with her wrap again, betraying her discomfort. “Did she break your heart?” she inquired tentatively, “Lady Basset?”
“My heart was not shattered,” Friedrich replied, a thoughtful tone coloring his voice. “It was more like a slight bruise to my ego, perhaps. But that faded quickly, especially with the distractions of war. I harbor no ill feelings towards her or the Duke. I am grateful to call them friends.”
In society's eyes, his failed courtship had been anything but a misstep. He remained a prince, draped in the allure of wealth and status, not to mention the accolades of a war hero who had little time to dwell on past disappointments.
“You are a good person,” Edwina said quietly.
“I do try to be,” he replied simply.
“I only wish I could embody such kindness,” Edwina murmured, her voice tinged with sorrow. “I fear I am a bad person.”
“No, that cannot be true,” insisted Friedrich.
Edwina met his gaze, shaking her head, “You exhibit such grace when speaking of the women you have courted, yet I cannot claim the same in my thoughts towards my former betrothed.”
Friedrich nodded slowly, “Well, I believe our courtships concluded quite differently. I imagine had Lady Basset wed my brother, I would feel differently.” He said with simple directiveness. “We all harbor uncharitable thoughts towards others at times. But I have not resorted to shooting the French ambassador in Berlin for his audacious suggestions about border lines. If anything, you surpass many. Men have called duels for far less egregious matters.”
“So I should not challenge my former suitor to a duel?” Edwina teased with a playful arch of her brow.
“I would happily stand as your second. Here, I am protected from prosecution, and so would any woman I marry be.” Friedrich's words hung in the air, the implication subtly warm and inviting.
Edwina's heart fluttered at his declaration. Was that a proposal? The surprise must have been etched on her face as Friedrich glanced down momentarily, before re-establishing eye contact, his expression earnest.
“May I pose a question?” Edwina asked tentatively.
“Anything.” He replied without hesitation.
“Are you courting me at your aunt’s behest?” Edwina blurted out. She closed her lips tightly, swallowing the sudden lump in her throat.
But Friedrich was more surprised by her question, “Aunt Charlotte is indeed persuasive, but she did not instruct me to court you. She merely requested that I meet you,” He clarified, a faint smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “I, ah, decided to extend my stay here.”
“Oh,” Edwina murmured, taken aback. “Will your uncle be upset?”
Friedrich's smile widened at her concern. “Not at all. My presence is advantageous. Some of our soldiers are recuperating here and in Calais. And I shared with him that I had met a rather beguiling young woman.”
“You have?” Edwina raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued.
He nodded, a soft light in his eyes as he stood up, “She is incomparable, truly suited to any rank. Yet, what I cherish most are our discussions - about the newspaper, novels, and her remarkable intellect. I find great joy in our walks together, and I am delighted that I could persuade her to ride a horse alongside me.” Friedrich's gaze softened as he regarded her once more. “She makes me feel... well, I feel quite human. I hope she is as fond of me as I am of her.”
Edwina felt a warmth spread through her at these words, her mind drifting back to the moments spent riding side saddle with him in the lush gardens at Windsor. He cared for her; there was a fondness there, it was something tangible yet intangible, a deeper connection rooted in mutual respect.
“What would you say if this young lady confessed that she had feelings for you as well?” Edwina asked shyly, a smile tugging at her lips.
“Well, I would propose to her. A heavy burden, considering how she is far too beautiful and clever for me, a singularly wonderful lady-” Edwina giggled, and he shook his head, mockingly aghast. “For shame! To laugh at my shortcomings!”
“But you are a prince,” she reminded him.
“I am well aware. Unfortunately, my title is beyond my control, so I must compensate for it with the rest of my character,” Friedrich quipped, a glint of determination in his eye. “And I hope you would consider building a life with me, one that suits us both.”
Edwina rose to her feet, staring up at him, a newfound boldness in her posture. Their eyes locked with intensity.
“The only person I truly care to impress is you.” Friedrich softly told her.
Edwina felt a rush of surprise and warmth with his declaration. “I think you are incredibly impressive and good,” she replied softly. “Yet I worry that I do not measure up.”
“You measure up far better than most, as you put it,” Friedrich responded earnestly. “How can you be unaware of how wonderful you are?”
“Do you truly not care about the rumors?” she questioned, a flicker of anxiety creeping into her voice.
“I do not. I have spent enough time with you to know they are unfounded,” Friedrich said, his expression resolute. “Chatter does not concern me; your happiness does. Regardless of what has transpired in the past, we can begin anew.”
“I would genuinely like that,” Edwina confessed quietly, the weight of her fear lifting. “And I hope to bring you happiness too.”
Friedrich’s face brightened, and he gently took her hands in his. “You already do.” He gently brought her hands up to his lips, kissing her knuckles reverently.
They emerged from the maze, sharing glances and smiles that had courtiers wondering what they were up to. But Edwina only looked either at the ground or Friedrich.