Chapter Text
Purple Daisies
[Part I] - part 1
“Hey- get out the way, ya fat piece-a lard!” Waluigi leers sharp daggers into Wario’s backside, who is currently obscuring his vision of the tiny CRT TV. He grinds his teeth annoyedly as he grabs a handful of remaining popcorn in the bowl on the side table- most of which consists of kernels that failed to pop- and throws the fistful at his part-time friend. “The show’s started! Go do something useful and get more popcorn, why don’t’cha?” Wario, seemingly giving little fight, only returned an equally sharp glare but turned to the kitchen with bowl in hand nonetheless, grumbling under his foul breath all the while.
Finally left in momentary peace, Waluigi leans back into the beat up sofa. He digs out the remote from in between the couch cushions and turns up the volume. The screen flickers with static- the reception in Wario’s shitty place absolutely sucks but he at least has the coin to be able to afford such luxuries as cable and electricity. The pre-ceremony events and announcements have just ended when Wario lugs his way back into the room. The couch noticeably sinks with his weight as he begrudgingly sets the newly filled bowl onto the table before them.
“Ya bettah owe me for this one,” Wario grunts, “I swear you ain’t gonna- wah!” A pillow hit him square in the jaw softly, effectively cutting off the rest of his complaint.
“Shaddup, ya big oaf! The show’s started!” Truthfully, Waluigi has no real interest in the ceremony being aired today. Politics were boring and drab to a Mushroom denizen that got by as a career criminal. No, it wasn’t the politics that drew Waluigi’s eye- he stares intently at the flickering screen, deciphering through the static and occasional white noise in search of a very particular target.
The variety of lakitu bros. float around the premises of Toadstool Castle, capturing every angle possible of such a popular affair. The plaza below the castle balcony is filled up with Toads of every color, buzzing and chittering with excitement and anticipation. The occasion is quite the spectacle, a momentous event for many thousands of commoners. The ceremony is to be the official announcement for the upcoming Smash Brothers tournament, the “Ultimate” rendition of the semi-annual tournament.
Finally, a hush begins to fall over the crowd as the big double doors open and a short elderly Toad waddles into frame of the hoovering cameras. “Ahem-” Toadsworth politely coughs, “-and now presenting, Princess Peach!” A ripple of applause and cheering rips through the Toads gathered below. Princess Peach, the reigning monarch of the Mushroom Kingdom, elegantly strides to the edge of the balcony railing. She pauses to address the bubbling crowd with a dainty and much rehearsed wave of her hand. She has captured with a tense line the entire attention of a whole world.
“I humbly would like to thank every individual who is able to attend, both in person and those watching live.” Peach begins her heavily rehearsed speech carefully. “Today is an exciting time, for within the month, the next Smash Brothers fight tournament has been in production. As per tradition, the most famous of denizens have been invited to represent the Mushroom Kingdom!” She pauses to wait out the sudden burst of cheers. “Representing the Mushroom Kingdom, alongside myself, the Mario Brothers!” On cue, the well-renowned protectors of the country, Mario and Luigi, came out to stand on both sides of the princess.
“Booo! Waaahh- booo!” Wario jeers at the TV as the camera zooms in on Mario’s face. He aggressively throws handfuls of popcorn at the TV screen, hissing curses.
“Hey, hey! Cut that out!” Waluigi snaps venomously, at which Wario simmers back down. Waluigi rolls his eyes- ever the heated one Wario makes himself out to be but at least Waluigi has the self control to not make a hissy fit over past grudges.
Mario takes an extravagant bow- a flourish for the sake of the cameras most likely- before he receives the letter sealed with the Smash Bros. logo. When Peach turns to his brother with a kind smile, Luigi awkwardly smiles back. His face flushes a red tint as he tries- too fast- to take the honorary invitation. His smile is forced, his laughter laced with nerves as he quickly stumbles off camera. Mario stays on the balcony, stepping away off to the side- always the vigilant watchful eye. Peach carefully hands her own letter to Toadsworth for safekeeping.
A magikoopa riding a broomstick zooms across the screen. The camera captures Kamek, royal advisor of the Koopa King Bowser, receiving two letters from the princess.
“My highest apologies,” Kamek states, “King Bowser could not be here, as I have come on His Evilness’ behalf to accept the invitation of representation-” the screen suddenly glitches, the audio screeching incoherently. Static engulfs the vision.
Waluigi wails irritably. “Hey! Do something boutta TV!” He seethes at Wario, who seems utterly bored- no longer paying any attention to the broadcast but now digging a finger into his ear. He flicks a piece of ear gunk over Waluigi’s direction disinterestedly.
“Eh?” Wario’s gaze glazes over, “what am I s’possed to do ‘bout it?”
“Wah! You’re hopeless.” Waluigi instead deigns to throw the TV remote at the side of the TV. It makes a short bang as it makes contact with an alarming amount of force. It was enough though to fix the reception.
“Hey!” Wario barks out, his interest suddenly piqued, “you’re a little- waah!” A couch pillow to the face promptly shuts him up.
Yoshi comes up to accept a letter himself. He is humble yet his eyes light up with eagerness to once again return to the battlefield. Then Rosalina, a young bouncy Luma accompanying her, kindly a letter as well. The cosmic princess confidently shares her appreciation that she’d been offered another spot on the Smash roster. Then, a newcomer. A small piranha plant hops in a plant pot to receive a Smash letter too. It’s a relatively modest and otherwise insignificant event. The princess had been alluding to all day a very special guest to be participating in the ceremony. Most had assumed that Rosalina was meant as the special guest, or perhaps even the newly invited piranha plant. And such, the Toads in the live audience have begun feeling restless. The sun is right on the horizon as evening is only hours away from turning night.
Peach announces for the final time that evening, “Finally, I’d like to introduce the special guest of tonight.” She holds up to the cameras one last Smash sealed letter- untaken until now. “Please, welcome Princess Daisy of Sarasaland!”
Heat rushes his face, his stomach tightens into knots. Princess Daisy- in all her beautiful grace- seems in disbelief as she accepts her Smash tournament invitation as another newcomer. She turns to address the crowd, apparently having a spur of the moment speech. But Waluigi can hardly pay any attention. His focus is trained solely on Princess Daisy and her physical beauty. Waluigi pulls down his cap over his eyes in the attempt to cover his face- Wario’d never let him live it down if he’d noticed his flush. He suddenly feels discomfort overcome him. Waluigi stands from the couch abruptly.
“Eh?” Wario looks at him in alarm, “what’s-a gotten in ya all of a-” He stops. Realization suddenly dawns over the short Italian man as he connects the dots in his head. A wicked grin traces his lips but before he can say another word Waluigi has already sped off towards the bathroom.
He slams the door behind him, leans against the sink to catch his shallow breath. His heart is like a hammer in his chest. He can’t stop thinking about her. He looks himself in the mirror. Finally, he thinks, Princess Daisy is an official Smash participant. Waluigi honestly might throw up.
Waluigi has been a frequent participant in the Smash Bros fight tournament in the past few seasons- not as a mainline fighter but he’d been just fine as the occasional assist fighter. Now, however, Waluigi has been secretly scheming a free pass to main fighter status. Daisy- this is his chance to confront her.
Wario’s Smash invitation comes in his personal mail- Peach isn’t much too interested in putting a public spotlight on a known criminal. Wario rarely ever touches his mail- Waluigi banks on this fact.
Waluigi stands outside Wario’s place. It must be past midnight- not a light is lit inside the house. Even the light reflected from the moon is obscured by dark clouds. But the dark doesn’t scare Waluigi much at all. His gaze falls to the mailbox set just off his friend’s property. As expected, months old mail is stuffed into the small tin box, left seemingly abandoned and forgotten.
He can immediately see his target. The mailbox is so filled up at this point that the flap can no longer close. The letter stands out like a light in the dark. Beige and red, with that iconic Smash logo right on the back. Waluigi swipes it. He hardly spends another minute- he turns, and vanishes into the night.