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Katsuki comes out to Izuku as ace.
It happens during one of their makeout sessions, All might documentary long forgotten and muted. They sit next to each other on Izuku’s bed, clumsily pressing and brushing their lips against each other.
Nineteen years is a very long time to know one another. And dating for three of them was even more impressive, Izuku had always thought. Even though it came so naturally to them. Katsuki can’t remember a time where him and Izuku were not together, not a time where he didn’t want to be with him, ever.
It was no surprise when the fine line of tiptoeing around each other from best friends to lovers finally snapped.
Both were fine with that. Happier than ever to be quite frank. Hangouts became date nights, pining became nuzzling and kissing, shoving each other’s shoulders became hand holding and so on.
They never had the talk, though.
Katsuki wasn’t a dumb kid. He knows sex, listened carefully in sex ed, hell, watched porn even. He knows how to put on a condom and that it’s supposed to come to you naturally. The want of having sex. The desire.
What he also knows? Izuku wants it.
Izuku doesn’t need to say it out loud for the blond to understand. Instead, he drops small hints. Maybe he laughs too loud at one of Denki’s perverted jokes or kisses Katsuki’s neck eagerly. When he feels confident, he sits in his boyfriend’s lap and grinds against his crotch.
Katsuki always has some shitty excuse. He thinks it’s shitty because why can’t he just get it over with? Why can’t he just give his Izuku what he wants? Why can’t he just satisfy his needs?
“Gotta study.” “My mom wants me to be home in a few mins.” “Maybe another time.” And Izuku understands. That’s the worst part of it all. The lack of pressure.
Katsuki expects a scolding. Maybe a groan, annoyance, a snappy comment about being a “cockblocker” even.
But he knows Izuku is nothing like that. Instead, his boyfriend nods softly, freckles moving up with his gentle smile as he cups Katsuki’s cheek with one hand, cradling him.
The blond immediately leans into the touch, exhaling out of relief. The tension immediately falls into itself. “We don’t have to do anything if you’re not ready.” He whispers, pink lips pressing against Katsuki’s forehead ever so softly.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be.” He suddenly says. His words ghost in the air, they’re so quiet, he wishes Izuku unheard, his eyes still closed. On his worst days, he calls himself a coward. For not saying it out loud, for not telling Izuku sooner. He should have a chance to be with someone who actually manages to sleep with him, right? He should be with someone that actually wants to have sex. He’s selfish for keeping Izuku all to himself but denying his boyfriend that specific part of him while he takes all of Izuku.
“What do you mean?” Izuku’s warm hand slips. Bakugou’s left cheek immediately turns cold, there it is again. That funny feeling. His lips tremble slightly, his heart won’t stop racing. Fuck, why won’t his heart stop racing?!
Then, he opens his eyes again only to look into a face that looks nothing like disappointment. He stares right into worry. Worry and love. And he feels so guilty about it. Why can’t Izuku just despise him for it? Cuss him out for being broken? That would make it a whole lot easier.
“I can’t.” The blond whispers, staring into his own lap where his fists clench even harder, fingernails digging into his sweaty palms. “You can’t? Kacchan, you can’t what?” It sounds nothing like Katsuki wants it to. Izuku says it softly.
“I can’t have sex with you, Izuku.”
There. Quick and clean. Like ripping a bandaid off. Only much worse than that.
“I can’t be with someone who can’t satisfy me. I can’t keep waiting for you.” Katsuki blinks.
That’s not what Izuku actually said.
This is what he replied: “Oh. Okay.”
Two words only, like there was nothing else to say but this. And maybe there really wasn’t. Maybe Katsuki had always thought of this moment as much bigger than it actually had been. Maybe it had been scarier in his dreams.
“That’s fine with me, Kacchan.”
Katsuki’s head pounds as he feels his nose flare. His eyebrows scrunch together, trying to avoid what will come next. He fails. The water reaches his already glassy eyes before he begins to sniffle.
“Oh, Kacchan.” Izuku immediately coos, catching his boyfriend in his arms gently.
He holds him in a warm hug, caressing his soft hair with one hand. “Thought you’d leave me.” Katsuki sobs into the other’s chest. Izuku can feel his tears seep through the fabric of his shirt. He doesn’t mind. “I can’t imagine to live in a world where we are not together.” Izuku whispers into Katsuki’s hair. “You don’t owe me this, you never did.” He continues while Katsuki grips at his shirt. “I love you, Kacchan. I hope you know that this doesn’t ever change.” The pulsing in the blond’s veins gets more subtle with every word.
The crying soon comes to a stop, his back steadying itself again, still curled up into the other. “Deku?” “Yes, Kacchan?” “Hold me a little longer, please.” Izuku’s arms close around him a little tighter as he closes his eyes. “Of course.” He says.
And he means it.
A promise to hold Katsuki forever.