Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Oh.”

Celine turned at the sound of her voice. Mira didn’t mean to say that out loud. She was just coming into the kitchen to grab a quick snack, but she was kind of hoping to not run into anyone. Especially Celine.

“Celine, I didn’t know you were in here,” Celine was at the stove stirring a pot of sujebi, a delicious soup that made Mira’s mouth water. It smelled so good. Mira stood there awkwardly in the doorway, not knowing if she should intrude on Celine’s space or not. Celine decided for her. 

“Mira,” Celine’s calm voice said, “Why don’t you come and help me?”

“Um, ok,” was all Mira could say. She wasn’t much of a chef but it’s not like she could say no to Celine.

“Chop these up,” Celine pushed over a small pile of carrots in Mira’s direction. Awkwardly Mira took a nearby kitchen knife and started slicing. For someone who wielded a blade pretty handily every day, the small knife in her hands felt unfamiliar. She focused on making even slices and not cutting her fingers off. The two of them worked in silence for a few minutes until Celine spoke up.

“Is everything alright?” Celine asked.

That question shocked Mira. Of course everything was ok. Why wouldn’t it be ok? 

Ok. Then why was she here in the kitchen with Celine instead of still in the training room with the other girls? The other girls who smiled so readily and helped each other? The other girls who never seemed to feel the need to punch something or explode? The other girls who always seemed to leave her out?

Ok. Maybe she wasn’t ok after all.

Mira kept cutting the carrots. It wasn’t like she could explain to Celine how she felt. She was surprised Celine had even asked. 

Celine sighed. “You remind me a lot of myself when I was younger,” she said.

Mira snuck a glance at Celine. The Celine who never seemed to ever make a mistake, the Celine that always kept her voice calm, the Celine that seemed to have it all together. There was no way she was ever like the fiery explosion Mira was inside. 

“My parents didn’t approve of me becoming a pop star,” Celine said, “They didn’t know about the side calling of being a demon hunter. They called me foolish and told me that if I left, that I would not be welcome back in their home.” 

Mira didn’t know that about Celine. Then again, there was a lot she didn’t know about her.

“Really?” Mira asked. She was surprised to hear herself speak. 

Celine made a small hum of acknowledgment. She was then quiet for a moment, before responding. “The family I made with the Sunlight Sisters was… is worth more to me than any blood relation,” she finally said.

Mira thought about that for a moment. “It doesn’t seem like Zoey or Rumi want me here though,” Mira said.

Celine reached over and grabbed a handful of the cut carrots and put them in the pot. She stirred them in. “Relationships are a lot like this soup,” she said. “The heat softens the ingredients so that they become easier to eat, but if you were to eat it straight out of the pot you would just end up getting burned”

Mira wasn’t following.

“It's the fire inside of us that makes us, us. But if we don’t learn to control that heat we can burn those closest to us,” Celine finished.

Mira knew a lot about what it felt like to just burn inside. “How do you do that? Control the fire?”

Celine turned to Mira and offered a small smile. “I make a lot of soup.”

Mira smiled back. “Can you teach me how?” Mira asked.

“Of course,” Celine said.

--

Mira stood in the kitchen. She swiped chives off the cutting board into the pot of seolleongtang she was making. She pursed her lips together remembering the last time she made this dish for the three of them. Back when everything was normal. Or at least back when she thought she understood everything. Now Mira didn’t know what to think.

Rumi was a demon. The very thing she had dedicated her life to killing.

Rumi was a hunter. If Rumi hadn’t come back to restore the Honmoon, if she hadn’t come for her and Zoey they would be lost to Gwi-ma.

It’s been a tough couple of days to say the least.

Mira lifted a spoonful of broth to her lips, careful to blow on it first. “Needs more salt,” she thought.

She sprinkled a dash of salt into the pot. After giving it a few stirs she tasted it again. After determining that it was done, she ladled the soup into three bowls and brought them over to their table. Rumi and Zoey were already there. Zoey was in her usual t-shirt and sweatpants while Rumi had changed into a simple hoodie and pajama pants. It was surprisingly familiar and if Mira didn’t know any better it almost seemed like nothing had changed. But the marks visible on Rumi’s face was a sure reminder that things had changed. 

“Here,” Mira said, pushing the bowl of seolleongtang over to Rumi and handing her a spoon. Rumi gave her a small, but grateful smile. Mira thought she looked tired. Rumi ate a spoonful of soup and Mira noticed some of the tension leave her shoulders. 

They ate together in silence, with only the sound of spoons scraping the bottom of their bowls to accompany them. The tension was thick. Mira wanted everything to be normal. But did she even know what normal was anymore? Mira didn’t take her eyes off of Rumi, Zoey kept sneaking glances between the two of them, Rumi kept her eyes down. Suddenly, Rumi pushed herself up and retreated to her room, leaving a bowl of half eaten soup on the table. Mira immediately felt the void that Rumi left behind. 

“Mira?” Zoey said, her voice timid. Mira snapped her eyes over to Zoey. She looked fearful, uncertain, sad. She looked like she wanted to run after Rumi. That made Mira’s heart twist. She went back to her soup. She felt Zoey get up and leave. Mira was alone. 

Even after all these years, why did she always seem to end up alone?

Suddenly she wasn’t hungry anymore. She gathered up the bowls and dumped the remainder of the meal down the drain. Methodically she cleaned up the mess she made while cooking. Normally the other girls would be in the kitchen with her to help as a thank you for the meal. It took Mira longer than usual to clean everything up.

Mira sighed and turned out the lights. They were supposed to be celebrating right now. They should be in the living room watching a movie, gorging themselves on icecream and kimbap and ramyeon, and chips and-and–

Mira fought back a storm of tears. She sat on her bed and swallowed the lump in her throat. She crossed her arms over her stomach as she laid down on her back and closed her eyes. 

Rumi was a demon. 

Rumi was a demon.

How was Rumi a demon?

The moment Mira saw Rumi on that stage played on repeat in her mind. The moments after lived in her heart. 

She trusted Rumi. Even when Mira knew Rumi was keeping something from her she trusted her. Rumi knew how much she hated lies. 

Rumi knew how much Mira loved killing demons. Delighted in it, reveled in it even. Mira was a fool.

Mira didn’t hear her door open. She didn’t hear the soft footsteps of someone carefully making their way to where Mira was. She did feel the familiar weight settle beside her and snuggle against her side. 

“Are you ok?” Zoey asked softly.

Mira groaned. “Does it look like I’m ok?” she said.

Zoey shifted in closer. “I’m sorry,” she said.

Mira opened her eyes and looked down at Zoey. She couldn’t see the girl’s face but it sounded like she had been crying. Her heart twisted again. She hated when Zoey cried. 

“Zo, you’re not the one I’m upset with right now,” Mira assured her. 

“But why are you upset with Rumi?” Zoey countered.

That was something Mira was still trying to figure out. “I don’t know,” Mira said, “Maybe because she hid the fact that she’s a demon from us all these years? Maybe because she flat out lied to me about not hiding anything? Maybe because even after all that she turned around to save us and I don’t know how to feel about that?” She could feel her anger rising. 

Zoey sat up so she could look at Mira. Mira was surprised to see anger reflected in Zoey’s eyes as well.

“Mira,” she said, her voice sharp, “We pointed our weapons at her. How do you think she’s feeling right now?”

Mira felt a twinge of shame. Of course she had been thinking about that as well. Zoey’s eyes softened. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I didn’t mean to invalidate your feelings, it's just…” Zoey struggled to find her words.

“You were just with her,” Mira said flatly, closing her eyes again. 

Mira felt Zoey place a hand on her leg. “Mira,” she said, “I know it’s hard to accept, but she’s still Rumi. Our Rumi.”

That’s what made it hurt even more. Mira sat up. “How are you so ok with all this?” she asked.

“I-I don’t know,” Zoey admitted. She fiddled with her hands. “I just, after she ran away I knew we had made a mistake.”

Deep down Mira knew that too. The echo of Rumi’s footsteps as she ran from them rang in her mind. 

“She says that she doesn’t even understand everything that it means to be her. She was born with them.”

Born with patterns? Wasn’t Rumi’s mom a former hunter?

“So, just try to understand. Please,” Zoey begged, “It would mean a lot to me if you could just try to accept her too.”

Mira wanted to. She really wanted to. But she didn’t know if she could. At least not right now. Not yet. But she didn’t want to let Zoey down so she told her that she would.

Zoey relaxed at that. Mira opened her arms to invite Zoey in and Zoey accepted the invitation. Mira allowed her sorrows and anger and all the negativity that she felt about Rumi melt away for just a moment. The most important thing to Mira has always been keeping the family that she had made with Zoey and Rumi together. But could she really let all the hurt and anger felt inside go?

Chapter Text

Mira was crying. She never cried. Not when she was 6 and broke her arm after falling out of a tree. Not when she was 17 and seeing her parents for the last time through the dusty back window of Celine’s car. Not even last week when Rumi nicked her good enough to need several stitches when they were sparring together. But today was a day that she did cry. 

She was alone in the forest, her back up against the rough bark of an old oak tree, her knees pulled up to her chest. It was hot and her hair stuck to her forehead with sweat and her clothes were stained with the dirt of the forest floor, but none of that seemed to matter. Mira was totally and completely alone. And she had been since coming to this awful place. 

Her mother had called her. She hadn’t heard from any of her family members for months, not since she had left them to come train and be a part of Huntrix. She couldn’t ignore the small spark of hope that ignited along with the apprehension when she saw her mom’s name flash on her phone screen. They were in the middle of a training session. Mira said she just needed to step out for a second. The call had been hours ago. It had only lasted a minute as her mother coldly and deliberately delivered the news. Her brother was dead. Her brother was the only one that had ever tried to understand her wild ways. The only one who she thought that she actually had a chance with connecting with again from her family. The only one who had ever come close to actually loving her. And he was gone. And her mother hadn’t even asked about her. She knows she shouldn’t care at this point. She really shouldn’t care.

Mira wiped at her tears but they kept coming. Her throat still burned from the gut wrenching sobs that had tormented her until her body grew too tired to go on. She felt numb. Hollow. Beaten. The sun shone down and the birds chirped around her. She heard a soft crunch in the underbrush behind her. Suddenly alarm bells rang in her mind. She whipped around to see what made the noise and came face to face with Rumi, who threw her hands up.

“I just wanted to check on you,” she said quickly, she sounded a little out of breath, “You never came back and you’ve been gone for a while now,” she said.

Mira turned back and was now facing away from Rumi. “I’m fine,” she said with an edge to her voice.

Rumi blew out a puff of air. “Mira, you are so clearly not fine,” she said. Mira could practically hear the eye roll behind the words. 

“Oh yeah? And what do you care?” Mira retorted.

“I do care,” Rumi said defensively. She was now crouching down at Mira’s side. Mira turned her face away from Rumi and hid it in the crook of her shoulder. It was embarrassing enough that she was crying, it was even more embarrassing that their leader was seeing it first hand. 

“What happened?” Rumi asked, her voice soft and warm. She placed a hand on Mira’s arm. “Is everything alright?”

Mira didn’t want to open up. Mira didn’t want to be comforted by Rumi of all people. But Mira felt like there was a gaping hole inside her chest and that she was bleeding out. Or maybe she was already empty and was now just a husk of a person. Maybe Mira didn’t care that it was Rumi that was here after all. At least she was here. And she needed to tell somebody.

“He’s dead,” she choked out. 

Rumi’s eyes widened with shock. “Who’s dead?” she asked. 

“My brother. There was an accident and now he’s gone,” all the fight was gone from her. She was tired.

“Oh, Mira, I’m so sorry,” Rumi said. To her credit she did sound sorry. “Were you two close?” she asked. 

“We were when we were little. Then not so much. But as we got older things changed. We were starting to again, I think. I haven't heard from him in a while, but he was the only one who supported me joining Huntrix when the rest of my family didn’t."

Rumi settled into a more comfortable position on the forest floor. “I lost my mom when I was really young. I know it’s not the same because I never actually knew her, but I know what it’s like to have so many things you want to say to them and not be able to say them.” She placed her hand back on Mira’s arm. “What I’m trying to say is, I’m here for you and I can listen.”

Mira finally turned her head to face Rumi. She must look like a wreck, but here Rumi was, sitting in the dirt with her, her eyes full of honesty and genuine concern. The emptiness inside Mira wasn’t as consuming anymore. Maybe Mira wasn’t as alone as she thought. 

--

Mira awoke to the sun shining directly in her eyes. “What idiot leaves the curtains open in a highrise like this one?” she thought. Oh right. It was her. She’s the idiot. Mira suppressed a groan. There was no going back to sleep now. It was probably for the best. 

Mira’s annoyance ebbed when she realized that Zoey was still snuggled up against her side. She had stayed with her all night after their conversation. Mira was grateful for that. Zoey leaving her to run after Rumi last night stung more than she would like to admit. 

Then another thought hit her in the gut harder than one of Rumi’s ultra powerful demon kicks. 

Is that what Rumi felt like after Zoey chose Mira over her?

No. It must’ve been so much worse. What must it feel like for your two closest–no only–friends to point their weapons of demonic destruction at you for being something you were born as? Rumi apparently had no control over her being part demon just as Mira had no control over who her parents were. And Mira knew a lot about hating your family lineage. 

Despite the fact that her heart still felt bruised and broken, maybe she would do what she promised Zoey she would do after all. Mira untangled herself from the sleeping girl’s grip. She made sure Zoey was still comfortable before leaving her room. It was quiet in the hall. Rumi must still be in her room. Mira cursed herself for not checking the time, she didn’t want to wake Rumi up. But then, Mira thought, if the sun was up, then Rumi was up. That girl was the earliest riser she knew.

Mira quietly made her way to Rumi’s bedroom door. She knocked firmly. “Rumi are you in there?” she called out. Silence. She knocked again. Maybe Rumi didn’t even want to talk to her. Maybe Rumi never wanted to see Mira again. Maybe Rumi regretted ever letting Mira enter her life. Rumi opened the door. Her hair was rumpled and her face still showed signs of sleep. Maybe Mira did wake her up after all. 

“Mira?” Rumi said groggily. 

“Rumi,” Mira said back. 

Rumi opened the door a little wider and motioned that it was ok for her to come in. Mira took the invitation without a word and stepped into the comfort of Rumi’s room. Was it really just a week ago that she had entered this room and Rumi lied to her about not hiding anything? Maybe it was a mistake to come here. But one glance at Rumi changed her mind on the matter. 

“You look awful,” Mira blurted out. 

“Yeah, well you don’t look so hot yourself,” Rumi attempted to retort, but there was no bite behind her words. 

With a yawn Rumi retreated to go sit in on her bed. She settled down in the middle with her legs crossed. She looked expectantly over at Mira. Mira took a few steps forward, but didn’t sit down. A shadow crossed across Rumi’s features. There was so much to say, but how could she say it? 

“Can I see them?” Mira said. 

Rumi’s eyes widened in shock. “ M-my patterns? You want to see them?”

Mira nodded. 

Rumi hesitated just a moment but pulled off her hoodie. She was wearing just a sports bra underneath so all the patterns that snaked up her arms and torso were visible. Rumi shifted uncomfortably. 

“This is the worst they’ve ever been,” Rumi said. Her knuckles were white as she crumpled the hoodie into a ball between her hands. 

Mira’s eyes roved across Rumi’s body. They were different from the demon patterns Mira was used to seeing. Those were ugly jagged things, but Rumi’s were softer and sparkled in the sunlight. They didn’t cut through her features, they moved with them, framing her. They were totally a part of her. She wanted to get closer. 

“Can I touch them?” Mira asked. 

Rumi’s breath hitched. “Do you really want to?” Mira was worried, was she pushing too far again? 

“If you’re ok with it, yes.”

Rumi only nodded. 

Mira crossed the room and sat next to Rumi on the bed. Slowly she reached out a hand to touch the patterns on Rumi’s shoulder. She noticed how Rumi seemed to be fighting the instinct to flee. Mira’s fingertips connected to the patterns. They were soft and warm. They felt like Rumi. Though the patterns were iridescent and pulsing with light, they felt no different than Rumi’s own skin. Mira could feel how Rumi was trembling beneath her touch. She pulled her hand away. She didn’t want to push too far. Rumi seemed to deflate just a fraction. 

“Tell me Rumi, was it all a lie?” Mira asked, her voice low. 

Rumi’s eyes snapped to Mira’s. “What?”

“Our friendship. Everything we built together. Us. Was any of it real?” 

Rumi didn’t answer right away and Mira’s world came crashing down for the second time in as many days. Mira moved to leave. 

“The only thing I ever hid from you were these patterns,” Rumi said, her voice strained, “And the fact that I was working with Jinu.” she added.

Mira sat back down. “And why were you working with him?” That’s the one thing that Mira couldn’t wrap her mind around no matter how much she thought about it. 

Rumi stared at the balled up hoodie. “H-he said that he was a human once and that he made the mistake of listening to Gwi-ma. He hated Gwi-ma just as much as I did. I wanted to believe that if he could be saved, then I could too. I shouldn't have trusted him though. That was a mistake.” Rumi’s hands went to her shoulders and it looked like she was reliving a nightmare. Mira wanted to comfort her just as she had done a thousand times, just as Rumi had done a thousand times to her, but Mira was frozen in place. 

“I don’t blame you for being angry,” Rumi said, her voice breaking, “I would be too. I am angry. At myself, I mean, not you.”

“You’re not upset with me?” Mira asked. 

“I was hurt, but I understand why you reacted that way,” Rumi said, choosing her words carefully, “It's not like I didn’t really expect it, it was always a possibility. Celine trained you both well.”

That twisted the knife in Mira’s heart even deeper. Rumi had expected them to raise their weapons against her. And they did. No wonder she kept quiet all these years. 

“I’m sorry,” Mira was surprised to hear those words come out of her own mouth. She was sorry though. Rumi’s fleeing footsteps echoed once again in her mind. 

“It’s fine really,” Rumi tried to smile, but was failing miserably. She was clearly holding back tears at this point. Her words came out choked and she was hugging herself tightly. 

“No, it’s not fine,” Mira said, “We were supposed to be a family. We’re supposed to make mistakes. And we’re supposed to move on from them.” Mira scooted herself closer to Rumi and wrapped her arms around Rumi’s shoulders pulling the girl in against her chest. She felt Rumi’s arms reach out and grab the back of her shirt like she was clinging on for dear life. 

“I’m s-so sorry Mira,” Rumi said as her body wracked with sobs, “I never wanted to shut you out. I never wanted to lie to you. I was just so scared. I-I never wanted to be this way. I never asked to be born like this. I was so scared.”

Mira hushed her and rubbed her arm. “I was scared too,” she said, “But we’re both here now and that’s what matters.” She wanted to say more but the words got caught up in her throat which felt tight all of a sudden. Her eyes stung and she felt tears fall and drop into Rumi’s hair. They held each other close. Mira could feel the last of her anger slip away with each tear that fell from her eyes. 

When they finally pulled apart they looked at each other and laughed. “We thought we looked bad before and now look at us,” Rumi said, laughing as she wiped the last of the tears from her eyes. 

“Yeah, it’s a good thing we’re taking an actual break now because our makeup artists would kill us if they had to deal with us right now,” Mira said, smoothing her hair back. 

Rumi smiled at her. Mira smiled back. Mira felt lighter. She gave Rumi’s hand a squeeze and Rumi returned the gesture. 

Rumi’s stomach grumbled and they let out another soft laugh. It felt good to laugh after everything they’ve been through. “We should probably wake Zoey up and get some breakfast,” Rumi said.

“That sounds amazing,” Mira responded.

Things were changing, but maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing. Mira looked once more over Rumi and her patterns. They were actually so beautiful. Just like the rest of Rumi. Right now they were fractured, and Mira wasn’t sure if they could ever be put back together. Not in the same way they were before. There will definitely be scars. But maybe, just maybe, Mira could learn to live with that.