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"Why aren't you trying to reach for the flowers, Ichimatsu-niisan?" a boy asked me. My eyes drifted up from the edge of the pit and to him. He looked completely identical to me... except...
I ignored it. No concern, I told myself.
The boy gave an overly sweet smile. Fake. Annoying. He looked back to the pit in front of us. His feet were at the edge, slightly hanging off. "Come on, Niisan. There's flowers in there." He glanced back at me with a smirk. "Oh that's right. You hate flowers, don't you? You don't need flowers." His voice was almost mocking and then his eyes flittered back to the pit.
My chest felt tight. "Yeah... Who needs flowers..." The boy let out a snort.
"I do," he said quietly. He wouldn't look up, eyes trained on his goal within the pit. I glanced up to his face. He had but only one flower, tucked behind his ear, the petals blooming poorly out by his eye. It was obviously wilting, with little petals actually left, making me wonder if he had found it in that state to begin with.
"I'm heading out," he said with playful inflections but a depressed tone. He gave me one last look, but instead of my face smiling slyly at me, the boy now wore a mask with a cute smile painted onto it. I blinked, unsure if it had been there before or not.
With that, though, he tipped over, falling into the pit.
He landed onto the spikes.
Instead of a cry, however, he laughed and reached a hand to adjust that plastic on his face. I didn't move to help him as I watched him struggle to pull himself off of the spikes, assuming based on the holes already there that I saw earlier, when I had first glanced over to him, that he knew how to handle this. He stilled, though.
The plastic smile didn't falter.
"You're afraid of these, aren't you? That's why you don't care for the flowers out here." His voice sounded fake and distant. Forced sweetness was rotting away at the face under the mask, rotting away at my ears. I didn't move.
"No..." I admitted. He thought it only another deadpanned lie.
"I know you want the flowers, Ichimatsu-niisan. The only reason I see not to get them is these spikes. Why are you so afraid of them?" He giggled, an honest to God, childish and innocent-like giggle. "They aren't so bad once you get to the flowers. Promise."
"The flowers aren't that great," I mumbled. The boy's breathing was heavy, his chest heaving slightly, sliding up and down just barely along the spike that narrowly missed his heart. I sighed. "Aren't you in pain?" I watched the blood stain more of the pink parka he wore, which was already stained with browns and blacks along other holes.
His hands reached up to tug on the strips of his mask that held it on as he replied, "No..." He shifted, flinching. "The spikes aren't that bad! Promise," he repeated the lie, "Come get flowers with me!"
I insisted further. "I don't care about the spikes. In fact, they can rip me to shreds for all I care."
"Then come get flowers! Aren't you tired of us weeds?"
"You aren't weeds..."
"We are. I know you want the flowers. Come on, Ichimatsu-niisan..." He reached a hand out, pierced and pouring blood. "Let me take you to the flowers. I promise we'll make it." He gestured to the flower in his hair. "See? I'm getting closer, Niisan! I'll be there soon!"
I scoffed. You idiot. You're really falling into pathetic self-illusionism now. Getting closer? You couldn't make it one step without falling to the spikes. You cling to your one dying flower as it's all you've gotten. All the flowers ignore you. You're nothing to them. You're as pathetic as me, stop fooling yourself.
I took a step back, shaking my head. The boy's hand lowered slightly. "What are you so afraid of if not the spikes?!" he yelled.
"The flowers, Todomatsu. I'm scared of the flowers." The hand dropped onto his stomach.
It took him a moment to speak. "Who would... Who's afraid of flowers?" I let out a sigh.
"I am," I said quietly. Todomatsu didn't answer me. "Why do you throw yourself out there, knowing that these flowers don't want you? They don't like you, you know that..."
"They like me," he said. "I'm cute, they know it. Flowers like cute things, right?" He laughed. "I'm the cutest of all of us, so of course... flowers will think I'm cute..."
I shook my head. "You're not cute."
The mask stared back at me silently. I looked behind me to what looked to be a field. Of nothing but... "weeds." I smiled just a bit, bending over and picking a young dandelion, its bright hue comforting. "Come back with me, Todomatsu... Where you know you're wanted."
"Am I, though?" I blinked, my hand going lax and the dandelion slipping free. What was I hearing? Why would he doubt that?
"Of course, Todomatsu. We always want you around... All of us want all of us brothers together."
His voice was small, "You don't want Karamatsu-niisan... None of us do." I frowned, not expecting to hear about him. He continued, "And... I'm not much different from him, right? I'm full of myself, I put up an act to get flowers to like me... It's only a matter of time before you start acting to me like we all did to him." He tried to move and I heard a whimper. "Karamatsu-niisan pulled away from us, and now I am too. You're just going to leave us behind and stay in your shitty field of weeds.
"And where will we be? Karamatsu-niisan and I?" His breath hitched, almost like he was close to crying, but the mask didn't display any real emotion, however, I was sure I saw a crack in the middle of it. "Out here, in the spikes?" He sniffled. "No... I'm going to be with the flowers. I can do it... I have a chance... A-and... You can come with me... All of you can... Come now! A-and we can go find flowers together..." His hand shot up toward me again, and I noticed only then the vines that wrapped around it. They were all over him, around his neck, shooting through holes in his mask as well as holding it on much tighter. They even claimed his legs and torso.
I stepped back again, and bent over to pick up the dandelion. "I... I think I'm okay with just weeds, Todomatsu... Just come back with me, okay? Us weeds aren't so bad, you know..." I held up the one in my hand. "Look, isn't this pretty?" Todomatsu didn't say anything, just let his hand fall back onto a spike.
"I'll come back for you guys," he said finally. "I'll be back and I'll bring you to the flowers." I sighed and turned, leaving Todomatsu in the pit, but not before glancing out to the horizon, looking out longingly at a large field of flowers much beyond all the spikes, beyond Todomatsu's reach.