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Junmyeon stares at nothing. He tries his best to stop the tears from falling. He tries his best to not show any sign of sadness, of weakness. He should be used to this already. He should be used to saying goodbye.
He’s currently at the airport, a place that has witnessed a lot of happy hellos and heart wrenching goodbyes. A place that Junmyeon knew so well. A place where he said his own hellos and goodbyes multiple times ever since he could remember.
When he was just a boy, Junmyeon was always excited to head to the airport to pick up his father together with his mother and older brother. He also dreaded coming back after just a few weeks because he had to say goodbye to his father once again.
Due to his father’s job abroad, they only get to have a few days with him every year. He can’t complain though knowing it’s how their father provided for them, it’s how they got to go to a nice school, had food on their table and had nice things.
He was grateful of course but he couldn’t help hoping that he got to spend more time with his father before.
It was hard to grow up not having him around. It was hard growing up without a father figure at home, someone you can run to when other kids weren’t being nice; When you wanted to build something that only your father can help with but he’s not there; When you want to talk about stuff that you can’t talk about with your mother or brother but he’s hard to reach.
It would have been nice to have the feeling that someone’s got your back. It would have been nice to celebrate your milestones with him by your side. It would have been nice to feel secure, to have the confidence that comes from the support of a father knowing he’ll be there by your side whether things go well or not.
As Junmyeon grew older, he understood.
He knew his father did the best he could for them. It must have been more difficult for his father. It must be difficult to be alone in another country, away from your loved ones, missing out on important events, not seeing your own kids grow up, not getting to spend time with them.
It should be difficult going through hard times alone and not be able to tell your own family about it since you don’t want to burden them. It must be so lonely spending birthdays, Christmas, New Year, etc. alone.
At least for him, he always had his mother and brother with him to bear the pain of not having his father with him. He also had his best friend Sehun and by extension, Sehun’s family.
So Junmyeon understands even more now that it’s his turn to leave them behind. He now understands the pain his father had to go through alone. It must’ve been really difficult for his father all those times. It’s nothing compared to what he felt before.
“Are you okay?” his long time best friend asks.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” he replied, trying to sound unaffected.
“It’s okay to cry, you know?”
“I’m used to this.” he lied to himself.
“You used to cry to me after your father went abroad before.” Sehun sensed the lie.
“That’s different, Sehun.”
“It’s not entirely different though. It’s just right now, you're on the other end.”
Junmyeon swallowed a lump in his throat.
Sehun put an arm over Junmyeon’s shoulder and brought him closer. That’s when Junmyeon broke down and hugged Sehun.
Sehun just hugged him closer and let the smaller cry. Junmyeon has always been crying on his shoulder and he would always be happy to lend his shoulder no matter what.
He would always be there for his best friend; for the love of his life.
“Thank you, Sehun. Thank you.” Junmyeon muffled against Sehun's chest, hugging him tighter, always finding comfort in between Sehun’s arms.
“Always, Jun.” Sehun replied, kissing him on top of his head.
They stayed hugging like that for a while until Junmyeon’s tears ran dry.
Junmyeon looks up to Sehun, debating if he should ask what has been gnawing at him ever since they both decided to work abroad together.
“What is it?” Sehun asked when Junmyeon just kept on staring at him.
“Why did you decide to leave everything behind and come with me?” he finally asked.
Sehun was silent for a moment, thinking how he should respond.
“Sehunnie?”
“Because I don’t think I could say goodbye to you, Jun.”
“I’m not going away for good, you know. I will be coming back as much as I can for vacation. Besides, you’re leaving everything behind.”
“No, Jun. It’s the other way around.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not letting my ‘everything’ leave me behind.” Sehun confessed.
“W-what?”
Junmyeon’s heart starts to beat erratically as he waits for Sehun to continue.
Sehun huffs, not believing that he is confessing his feelings right now, right after Junmyeon just bawled his eyes out for being sad about leaving his family behind.
“I love you, Junmyeon. And I want to be there for you as much and as best as I can. I want to be there by your side when you're happy, when you celebrate new milestones. I want to be there cheering you on every step towards your dreams. I want to be with you especially when you feel lonely and need a shoulder to cry on, when you face hurdles and want a hand to hold as you get over them. I want to be there to help pick you up when you’re down. I want to be your rock. Jun, I just want to be with you.”
Junmyeon’s heart is almost bursting out of his chest. He can’t believe what he just heard and at the same time, he’s hanging onto every word Sehun had just said.
“But you always have done all that. You have always been there for me.”
“And I don’t plan on stopping, Jun.”
“You’ve loved me? Always?”
“Yes, ever since I could remember. Ever since you said ‘hello’ to me.”
Junmyeon started to tear up again and Sehun panicked.
“H-hey, Jun. Please don’t cry. I’m not asking you to return my feelings, hm? You don’t have to say anything. Just let me be with you. Just let me stay by your side.”
“B-but”
“It’s okay, Jun. I understand.” Sehun cut him off, thinking Junmyeon would only reject his feelings.
“No, Sehun.”
“It’s okay.”
“No! That’s not what I meant.”
“Huh?”
“I love you too, Sehun”
“W-what?”
Junmyeon giggled, wiping away his tears.
“I said I love you too, Sehun and I want to always be by your side too. I want to be all of that you want to be for me.”
“Really??? You do???” Sehun asks, not believing what he just heard. He was not expecting this at all.
Seeing that Sehun seemed not to believe it, Junmyeon reached up and kissed Sehun.
Sehun froze, eyes wide.
Junmyeon pulls back and watches Sehun.
“You didn’t like-”
Before Junmyeon could even finish, Sehun grabbed him by his face and kissed him hard.
“Maybe it’s not different after all.” Junmyeon said after their kiss, still in bliss.
“What do you mean?”
“Because you’re still here with me after I said my goodbye to them.”
“I will always be with you. I won’t say goodbye to you. Ever.”