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This is my first time writing on here so im sorry if this is bad and cringe! Anyways please enjoy
Atsushi stared at the man in front of him in shock, he couldn't believe what he was just told. The Armed Detective Agency and the Port Mafia are at war?... And it’s HIS job to kill Akutagawa?! He stared at Kunikida with a mix of despair and horror… The man stared back at him in confusion.
“Whats wrong Atsushi? I thought you hated Akutagawa,”
Kunikida asked. He wasn’t necessarily wrong, Atsushi DID hate Akutagawa, up until about 6 months ago when Akutagawa made him that promise. But that promise has expired now, the deal is up and now Akutagawa can try and kill Atsushi whenever. This left a bad taste in the white haired man’s mouth, the raven haired man and him had finally started to get past each other's differences and were slowly becoming friends, and now Atsuhi is being ordered to kill him?!
“Oh- yeah!... um… right… I do hate him, I mean, he’s an awful person, the rabid dog of the port mafia after all… who wouldnt want to kill him..”
Atsushi lied through his teeth, he didn’t want to kill Akutagawa, and he didn’t want Akutagawa to kill him.
If he was given this order then it's very likely the port mafia gave Akutagawa the same order, Atsushi thought. And that was exactly right.
With Akutagawa
Akutagawa stood in front of Chuuya’s desk, waiting to receive his next mission, but the one he received was not what he was expecting at all. Kill Jinko? He understood that the ADA and PM were at war but he didn’t understand why he was being ordered to kill the weretiger. I mean, it has been his sole purpose since he found out that he was Dazai’s new apprentice. But as of lately, he hasn’t felt that overwhelming hatred towards the weretiger. The 6 months have passed and he can technically kill the weretiger and anyone else but he doesn't want to. These 6 months without blood on his hands have felt like a taste of freedom. His hesitance did not go unnoticed by Chuuya
“Hesitatsing, huh? That’s not like you. Don’t tell me your growing soft.~”
Chuuya’s tone was mocking but had a hint of real concern behind the snarky, sharp tongued attitude he seems to always have. Akutagawa didn’t make eye contact, his expression was still indifferent and cold but for someone who has given him countless missions Chuuya could tell his expression was different. Chuuya spoke again, his voice slightly less mocking and more understanding but still stern.
“Listen Akutagawa, orders are orders. Either kill the weretiger or I will find someone else to do it,”
Something about the idea of someone else killing Atsushi triggered Akutagawa, if Jinko's blood has to be spilled, he’d rather it be on his hands. Akutagawa reluctantly accepted the mission and excused himself from Chuuya’s office with a bow.
Back with Atsushi
Atsushi doesn’t know what to do, he can’t kill Akutagawa and he doesn't even know why the idea bothers him so much! He HATEs Akutagawa, or at least he thought he did. He needed answers, answers he couldn’t figure out himself so he went to the one person he knows that can help him for sure.
Ranpo, the self assured, lazy yet genius detective.
As Atsushi stood in front of Ranpo’s desk as he munched on a lolly pop and played on his nintendo, he wondered if this was really a good idea or if he had just made a big mistake, but he needed answers so he pressed forward,
“What did you ask again? Why do you feel an overwhelming amount of unease about killing Akutagawa even though you “hate” him? Well, the answer is simple really, but I can't expect a moron such as yourself to be able to figure this out yourself so I guess I can’t really blame you. Since you're so desperate to know, I guess I will tell you! You are in love with Akutagawa, it’s as simple as that,” Ranpo stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Atsushi’s whole world froze, him? LOVE AKUTAGAWA?! He didn’t want to believe it was true, but he knew Ranpo is never wrong, so it HAD to be true. It didn’t make sense, how could he LOVE someone from the port mafia!? Someone he used to hate nonetheless. But after thinking for a long while, it started to click. The way Atsushi’s heart would randomly flutter when Akutagawa looked at him with those cold, piercing eyes for a moment to long, the way Atsushi would blush when he is called Jinko, or how Atsushi’s heart almost stopped when Akutagwa told atsushi about his lung illness and only Atsushi.
Now that Atsushi is aware of his feelings, there's no way he can kill Akutagawa. He needs to have a talk with the raven haired man. Atsushi pulls out his phone and texts Akutagawa, to his surprise, he received a text back almost immediately.
Atsushi: Hey, can we talk? It's important.
Akutagawa: typing…
Akutagawa:Ofcourse, I have something important to talk about as well, when and where?
Atsushi: How about near the river bank? Around 9 PM, I wouldn't want to get caught.
Akutagawa: Alright, see you then Jinko.
Time skip to 9 pm at the river bank
Atsushi arrived slightly late, around 9:30. Dazai threw his work on him again so he had to stay late to finish it. When Atsushi arrived he was out of breath, he clearly ran here. Atushi saw Akutagaw looking out at the dark river bank peacefully, wind blowing his black, frosty tipped hair. His hands were in the pockets of his jacket and his dark eyes looked even more sinister and dull in the dark.
“You're late,” Akutagawa said in a matter of fact voice and glanced at Atsushi.
Atsushi let out an awkward chuckle and scratched the back of his head.
“Sorry about that, I got held up at work. Dazai dumped all his work on me again.”
Akutagawa scoffed slightly and turned fully to face Atsushi, there was a silent tension, it was clear both men were hiding something and needed to get it off their chests. Akutagawa took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for what he’s about to say.
“I need to tell you something.”
“I need to tell you something!”
They both said in allusion, They gave each other a slightly surprised look before going back to neutral.
“You go first,” Atsushi said. He was quite curious about what Akutagawa had to say, and then he would confess his feelings. Or so he thought…
“I was assigned a mission to kill you weretiger, the six months are up, which means our promise is over. Prepare yourself Jinko, I do not show mercy,” Akutagawa spoke in a cold and challenging voice that ran a shiver down Atsushi’s spine. Atsushi knew Akutagawa also got the mission but hearing that he actually planned to follow through sent a strange pain through Atsushi’s chest. There's no reason to confess his feelings now, it was clear Akutagawa still hated him. And so, Atsushi and Akutagawa went their separate ways after that, both of them carrying the weight of having to kill each other despite the growing love bubbling just below the surface.
They didn’t talk after that, too busy with the war between the two organizations. And as more people from both organizations died, the worse the war got. And before they knew it, they were both on the battlefield, but on opposite sides this time… This battle and the winner of it set the fate of the ADA and PM. If Atsushi won, then the PM would have lost their rabid dog and would make peace, but Atsushi’s heart would be shattered. But if Akutagawa won, then the ADA would never be the same… but at least Atsushi wouldn't need to live with the guilt of killing the one he loves most.
Atsushi tried to tell himself throughout the whole battle, no he wouldn't actually kill you, he probably will stop… right? He would seriously end my life…. But as the battle went on, and Atsushi got more and more injured by the minute, Atsushi knew Akutagawa was going to kill him.
An hour and a half later Atsushi was sprawled out on the ground, Akutagawa standing above staring down at him. Ah… so it was his plan to kill me…. It dawned on Atsushi, they never were friends, there was no way Akutagawa would ever like him back, and Akutagawa truly did hate him…. His leg was cut off and he had very severe injuries all over his body, he was bleeding out too fast for his tiger ability to regenerate and heal him. Akutagawa stared down at Atsushi as death awaited him… he finally defeated the weretiger, the man that stole his mentor, and yet, he didn't feel good about it, the mission was complete and he felt no victory.
Atsushi stared up at Akutagawa, he felt betrayed, hurt, and the worst part was he knew he was going to die, burdening all his friends. Maybe his headmaster was right, it would have been better if he died in a ditch somewhere. But instead, he’s going to die at the hands of
someone he loved.
Atsushi’s whole body felt like it was on fire, the deep wounds gushing warm blood only made him colder. He wanted to scream in anguish but there was no point, his throat was slit and he could barely get a few sounds out let alone a scream. As he lost more blood, he started to become all fuzzy and delirious. Everything was becoming blurry except akutagawa’s figure above him, which remained painfully clear. Atsushi’s breathing was becoming ragged and labored, each breath a struggle. But this pain was nothing compared to the pain in his shattered heart. Warm tears began to run down Atsushi's face as he looked up at Akutagawa’s confusing expression. Akutagawa looked almost regretful, the pain in his eyes was visible even as everything began to turn dark for Atsushi. At some point, Akutagawa had crouched down in front of Atsushi’s dying form and cradled him, he felt it was only right to let Atsushi be held as he slowly met his demise. Atsushi spoke very softly, Akutagawa could hear the pain in his voice, physical and mental.
“Akutagawa, it hurts… make it stop..”
Akutagawa didn’t know if he was talking about the pain of the gaping wounds in his body or the pain of the betrayal he was experiencing.
Soon after, Atsushi went limp and his body ran cold. Akutagawa continued to hold him until all the other battles were over and Dazai and Chuuya found them.. It was far too late for Dr. Yosano to save Atsushi, so Akutagawa just held him.
Three days later, the war was finally over with many casualties, they had a ceremony to remember all the lives that had been lost over the couple of weeks that this war went on for. Everyone in black, pictures of peoples loved ones lined up with flowers and gifts around them, crying and mourning all around Akutagawa as amazing grace plays in the background.
Akutagawa didn’t know what to feel, regret? Anger? Sadness? Or should he not feel anything at all? He never expected to feel such grief from killing the weretiger, he wondered, if he knew he would feel like this, would he have still gone through with it? And will he ever get over it, or will he carry this burden forever? Only time can tell. So many doubts run through Akutagawa’s mind like they are running a marathon. He’s not sure of anything anymore, his sole purpose was to kill Atsushi but now that it's done, he wondered if the reason he’s living for is pointless, getting dazai’s approval and killing the weretiger was all that used to be on his mind, but now… Atsushi is gone and Dazai will surely hate him forever… So what's the point anymore?... Luckily, due to his lung illness, his demise will soon come just as Atsushi’s did.
Grief and betrayal are not alike, yet they twine together like vines as they suffocate him