Work Text:
“Emery wants us both to become Liches.”
Oakley paused. The statement was kind of bizarre, very out of context from his teaching assistant/crush. He took off his glasses carefully, clipping them to his shirt. “What, Ash?”
Ashurak leaned forward, looking deep in thought. So deep in thought, in fact, the Qunari seemed to have not even heard Oakley.
Oakley huffed. He wasn't used to being straight out ignored by anyone who wasn't family. Vi used to do that nonsense, and it bugged him so bad.
…Thinking of Vi made him sad sometimes. He didn't have much family left, now. Teo had passed on, so all that was really left was his Uncle Kal and his Uncle Spite. The only people that wouldn't die and leave him all alone, like Mom, and Dad, and Vi…
He shook it off. Needed to keep focus. “Ashurak.” He prompted firmly. “What did Emery want? Lichdom?”
“Yea. He wanted to attempt. He made a very convincing argument for me to attempt it as well.” He looked up at Oakley, a faint blush scattered across his cheeks, which made Oakley's heart race.
Oakley was aware of what lichdom was. Emmrich, one of his mother's friends that was close enough to be considered an uncle, had once aspired to the position. They hadn't discussed much about it, he was mostly only in contact with Emmrich for lessons in controlling his unstable magic, but he could only assume Emmrich had turned the offer down given that almost nearly two hundred years had passed, and he was a ghostly apparition alongside his Aunt Allona, stuck here in the Necropolis. Maybe his thesis should be the uptick in ghosts after the Veil was re-sealed by him and Kal.
Immortality could be such a curse. No one knew that better than Oakley and Kal.
Tapping his quill on the top of his notes, Oakley watched Ashurak with a clinical eye. Yes, he liked this man. This wasn't his first foray into romantic attraction, either. He'd loved many people throughout his almost two centuries worth of life. He could still remember the first, also a Qunari, a lovely woman named Shathi who he'd met while working with his Uncle Monello in Minrathous. She was smart but kind, and he had been utterly smitten. But he hadn't said a word. Why bother? He would outlive her. He had seen his Uncle Lucanis and Kal going through it as they got older, and he didn't want that. He also didn't want to waste Shathi's time on someone she couldn't grow old with.
Now if only he could have stopped it from happening the other times. It was always random, always intense, always hurtful. But he knew it hurt less than the alternative, where he'd love them, live with them, build with them, and they'd die, leaving him in the collapsing walls and peeling wallpaper of the home they'd constructed together.
So yes, he had kept a bit of a professional distance between him and Ashurak, but he also hadn't exactly had the fortitude to fend the puppy dog of a man off entirely. Ashurak was friendly, kind, and sweet. He used every ounce of his strength to help others and while he wasn't exactly the brightest Watcher around, he was still a ray of sunshine.
How was Oakley not meant to fall for him? Honestly it was a crime the universe had sent him this bright-eyed bastard in the first place, let alone that he lived in the Necropolis right at the time Oak wanted to move there.
“What exactly was this ‘convincing argument’ that would possibly sway you to try and attempt something like Lichdom?” He looked up at Ashurak, his curiosity piqued. Ashurak had always seemed so flippant and energetic compared to other denizens raised in the Necropolis. He wouldn't have thought Ashurak and Emery were raised by the same people whatsoever.
Ashurak chuckled a bit, looking distractedly at the floor. “Not really important. What do…what do you think about it?”
Oakley contemplated the question. From what the ghost of his former teacher had told him, lichdom was a risk. One had to have enough attachment to life to seek it eternally, yet no attachments that could distract from their duties. Although, the Necropolis had changed since he and his uncle showed up. The Lich Lords didn't seem as harsh or strict as they had when Oakley had begged them to allow his Mother to attempt. Not that his mother would have said yes to his idea, but that was a different time. Oakley thought he would have longer with her and Dad. But Dad was ready to go, and Mother wasn't, not really. She was taken from them far sooner than she should have been. She was healthy one day, and sick the next, with death on the doorstep it felt like.
Yes, the Lich Lords had truly changed if they were going to not only allow both Ash and Em to attempt lichdom, but were okay with Emery attempting it in the first place with his earthly attachments. Maybe they were desperate to keep him and Uncle Kal in line?
Though there was a part of him, the logical side warring with the emotional side. If Ashurak attempted lichdom, he'd be there…forever. No dying, no disappearing. But logically, he knew that didn't mean anything. It didn't mean he had a chance, or that Ash even liked him more than for friendship.
“It's an interesting opportunity.” He chose his words very carefully. “You should give it a lot of thought. There's a lot of risks involved.”
“Yea, but I asked what you thought, dumbass.”
Ah, Ashurak. Ever the eloquent man. He had every bit of subtlety that his own uncle had when Oakley was just a child. He couldn't help it, a dry chuckle poured out of him, which made a self-satisfied grin spread across the Qunari man's face.
“You have a way with words sometimes, Ash.” He teased him, his head shaking. He expected Ashurak to end it there, to move on, maybe they'd talk about Oakley's taming lessons coming up.
But he didn't. He kept his golden-eyed gaze squarely on Oakley. “You didn't answer me.”
“Excuse me? I didn't think that warranted an answer. My thoughts on your lifestate don't matter.” Oak picked up his quill and started writing a quick blurb in his notes to look into lichdom for animals. His beloved Griffon, Kally, was almost a hundred and thirty or so years old now, and while Griffons lived far longer than the average mortal, he still would like to keep the last piece of Assan, and his Dad, as long as possible.
Ashurak's face fell, clearly disappointed in Oakley's response, but honestly Oakley didn't know what he expected; Oakley wasn't going to make a mistake with one of his first real friends outside of family or cousins. It didn't matter that his brain kept telling him to read deeper into why Ash was asking him, why he cared so much about his opinion. Once again, the logical part of his brain told him to stop, that Ash was just seeking a professional, neutral perspective.
“Why are you asking me, anyway?”
Ashurak blinked at him, and then slowly spoke. “Well we're close, right?”
Damn.
How did that one sentence, so straight and narrow, hit him so hard. Yes, they were close. But Oakley didn't think…
“Yea…?”
“Well Em tells me you guys don't have a lot of friends other than us cuz of bein’ immaculate and all.”
Oakley stifled another laugh. “I think you mean immortal, Ash.”
“Yeah yeah, that. Big words are more Em's thing. I'm not so good at talking sometimes.”
Ashurak was not stupid, though. He knew plenty of big words, just not all of them. He'd been raised as muscle, a guardian for the dead. Of course he wasn't classically educated like Emery. Oakley wished he wouldn't demean himself.
“Don't say that, you sound fine.” He said softly. “But continue.”
He nodded. “But yea, I figured we could, I dunno, be closer if you didn't have to worry about me vanishing on you. Cuz Em said that you guys are worried about that kind of stuff.”
“Be closer?” It left Oakley's mouth before he could even stop it.
“Yea!” He jumped up, excited. “Y'know. Like ah…never mind, Oak, it's dumb.” He turned tail and walked out, leaving Oakley dumbstruck as his pen dripped ink onto his notes.
He was not an idiot. He didn't beat around the bush like in the tales of how his Mother and Father got together. When he actually wanted something, he knew what to look for and how to get it.
Ashurak, at least in his eyes, seemed to be giving the signals. The exact signals he was hoping to avoid. He was reminded of the poor Fereldan lad who tried wooing him, all grins and gifts. He couldn't imagine this absolute unit of a Qunari being like that. He liked Ashurak, and now there was a possibility Ashurak liked him.
Dear stars, is that why he was asking about Lichdom? Because he was trying to see if Oakley was interested in him enough to care?
What an idiot. Both of them. But Oakley didn't want Ashurak to become a lich just to stay by his side. That was shortsighted at best, foolish and selfish at worst. But he had to admit, part of it excited him. Was this finally the chance he was waiting for? Something he could have forever, that wouldn't disappear with time or age? That sounded very appealing. And he had never really participated in the chase of love before. He had almost, with Shathi. But seeing his own mother become ill and his Uncle Lucanis become frail had dissuaded him from it. He decided he would give it some thought.
A few days later, Oakley found surface flowers in a jar next to his desk. They weren't particularly special, common weeds, really. But they set Oakley's cheeks aflame enough that his students seemed worried. He shrugged it off, but inside he was a mess. His heart wanted to go for it but his brain said to wait.
Maybe Em would have some insight. He would ask Kal but his uncle was in a precarious spot right now and it didn't seem right to agitate him unnecessarily.
He needed to know what to do. If only he had his parents. He knew they didn't start out the best, but he always saw them as a wonderful couple. They would have known what to do in this scenario. Something was going to have to give, and soon, because Oakley was on the verge of a chasm. A path he had never had available to him was wide open, calling him in, but he didn't know where it led. It was scary, honestly.
But sometimes taking the leap can be worth it, right?