Chapter Text
The monster shrieks like splitting wood as it dies. Maybe it’s supposed to be a spiritfolk, but it’s not- not since it tore out of Ashe, tearing through her like a saw through leaves. It evaporates into dust and cinders, but only two of the party are paying attention to it at that point.
Thog doesn’t even take the chance to watch the spiritfolk die, to gloat over its failure in attaining its freedom. Instead, as soon as he hears the start of its death knell, he whirls about and rushes over to Ashe. He kneels next to her. His hands shake as he reaches for her, to her cloud of hair, her slim shoulders, unsure how to try and rouse her. But he knows. One look at her skin, paler than normal; or her chest, unmoved by even the faintest breath, is enough to tell him she’s gone.
He reaches for her hand, fingers intertwining with hers. “I’m sorry…” he rasps, his heart pounding in his chest like it always does around her. But this time it isn’t excitement, it’s just panic. Worrying, anxious panic. He wants to squash it all down. What use would his words be now? But they bubble up, finally cut loose by the shock of seeing her like this, knowing he waited too long.
“Ashe I never thought- if I knew before, I would’ve found a way to stop this. I’d get that fucking book back from Markus and do all the research and free you from this but you had to be so fucking stubborn and not! Tell us anything! Dammit- I should’ve known, should’ve thought more about the things you said and did, but I was too wrapped up in myself- I was always thinking what a piece of shit I was, wanting you to see me. I never…” His thumb draws circles on the back of her hand, eventually brushing against a cold edge- the bracelet he gave her. A sob catches in his throat, and his words tumble out even faster, hiccups punctuating every halting breath. “You kept this stupid thing but you couldn’t let us help you before this? Ashe you have to know I’d give up all the silver and gold in the world if it’d bring you back. I- Please, Ashe, you can’t leave us like this. The guys need you… I need you. I won’t let my pride keep getting in the way, please, gods, just… I’d tell you so much sooner if I could just… Aesling, please, please, I love you, you can’t be gone… You can’t…”
The first few tears fall from his eyes. He feels uglier than normal. Ashe is dead, and he’s still making it about himself. But he can’t stop. If he stops himself now, bottles it all back up, there’s no way he’ll be able to stand up again. He still has a bullet in his gun, after all- but no, he has his employees to look after. He can’t abandon them when they’d be reeling from a teammate’s death.
“Ashe, I’m sorry.” Thog leans over, and his lips gently brush against her forehead. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. But I can at least keep these guys from seeing you again too quickly. I know you’d want that much.”
He stays like that for a moment, inhaling deeply and trying to make sure he’ll always remember her scent: rich soil and deep woods, growing things, life. He closes her golden eyes for the last time, his touch as gentle as possible, then lets go of her as he stands up.
The others are a few feet away, all of them trying to give him his space to grieve but also clearly barely holding themselves back. Gregor’s sitting on the sand with his head in his hands, one arm wrapped around his glaive as it stands like a grave marker next to him. Markus is on his feet, but barely, listing back and forth unsteadily. Kier’s sobbing, but surprisngly quiet, and as soon as Thog moves Kier rushes over to scoop Ashe up and cry over her.
Thog swallows around a lump in his throat. He’s CEO of this ragtag bunch. He has to get them moving again, before they start wallowing. He lightly touches Kier’s shoulder to get the engineer’s attention, then steps closer to the other two. “Good job with the spiritfolk,” he says. “We’re going to bury Ashe here on the beach, so the sea air can carry her wherever her spirit wishes. Then we’re headed home. We don’t have a healer anymore, so we’ve got to patch each other up.” He waits, but none of them move.
He glares. “Get moving before I fire all of you!” he bellows. No room to be nice now. He’s going to push them until they can’t think anymore, because that’s the only way he knows to get past these things.