Chapter Text
The autumn leaves were gathering on the sides of the road, with the smell of seawater in the air. Liyue Harbor was becoming progressively busier this time of year, as merchants sought to make a good profit before the first freeze struck. Running an open stall is nearly impossible in such weather, so half of the shops are already closed for the winter, and vendors enjoy spending time with their families and loved ones. But with fewer stalls opened, the mora flow funnelled even more tightly on the market street. And while others saw this time as a sign to relax, others hungry to prove themselves capitalized on the lack of competition in the neighbourhood. Thus, many merchants in Liyue called the last autumn weeks “the golden hour”, the time to make as much mora as there were golden leaves scattered alongside the roads.
Such was life in Liyue Harbor. If you are hard-working, you will be rewarded. Not everybody falls under these circumstances. One of such individuals was the handsome gentleman in a brown trench coat, silently drinking his tea at the Third-Round Knockout. A pleased expression rested upon his face as the storyteller was telling yet another one of his classic tales.
Zhongli found a strange pleasure in listening to the tales and legends of old, told from the times when he was still The Rex Lapis. A certain pride in his accomplishments and a wave of nostalgia. The way mortals would spin the tales, here say, and compile legends of the events long past. It was immensely amusing to him, more so than others would perceive, because he was there when most of it happened. Yet Zhongli learned to laugh at the inconsistencies and misinformation of the ages. True history always gets pushed aside in pursuit of entertainment and favouritism. Even the current tale that was being told, described three different events in history, portrayed as one. Correcting the story would produce more harm than good, and Zhongli had no right or place anymore to intervene. Those days were old tales for a reason.
As the storyteller finished, Zhongli clamped softly with the rest of the customers. While “Iron Tongue” Tian gave his bows to the audience, a waitress stopped next to Zhongli, seeing the empty teacup.
“Would you like some tea, sir? It’s good for your health.”
“No need, miss. I was just about to take a leave. Please give my praises to the storyteller.”
“Will do, Mr. Zhongli. Sir Iron Tongue always values the input of the customers for his stories, and approvals from such a historically learned individual as yourself are treasured by him.” The waitress offered him a sincere smile.
“The pleasure is all mine.” Zhongli reaches inside his coat and pulls out a half-empty bag of Mora to pay for the tea.
“You always carry around so much Mora, Mr. Zhongli. Aren't you worried you might get robbed? Every time you come for a visit, I'm amazed at how much mora a single person carries around. Especially with those pesky fatuis roaming the outskirts and treasure hoarders crawling behind them. I would never be able to have so much on me, not without worrying at least.”
Zhongli looked at the waitress with a somewhat perplexed expression on his face. “Is this a lot of Mora?” he asked genuinely.
The waitress laughed slightly but quickly regained her composure in the face of a valued client. “My apologies, Mr. Zhongli. I sometimes forget how big a range we have in our clientele. Of course, it's not a lot of money for somebody like you. But we ‘regular’ folks would need to put in a lot more hours to even see that much Mora daily. But alas, not everybody can be as successful a businessman as you. Have a wonderful day, Mr Zhongli, and look forward to your next visit.
“No, actually this isn't my…” Zhongli was about to correct them, but he cut himself off and just left after paying.
He didn't know when it began, but he knew he had felt like this for a while. He slowly caught himself in the habit of correcting people when it came to the Mora he had; it almost started to annoy him. Yet he didn't know why. He understood why people perceived him this way. People often told him that he has a certain… presence. Most of which was a remnant of the days that had long passed. The shadow of the mighty Rex Lapis still loomed large over the mortal Zhongli, or the mortal Zhongli is trying to be. But how can one step out of his own shadow?
“Is this the essence of the mortal life I strived for? The experience I wished to pursue when the deal with Tsaritsa was made? What am I missing?”
The shackles of the “old world” chained him down. He didn't want to be seen as he used to be. But that was not something that could be easily changed. His natural deep voice, combined with the knowledge and wisdom of the ages, from the live long-lived. A calm and collected demeanour acquired from the maturity of stepping into the role of the Geo archon. Even the intricately patterned and flawlessly designed clothes he was wearing were a mere gift from his old subordinate and good friend. People explained these facts to themselves in ways they found most appropriate, trought the lens of modern times. Some regarded him as a wealthy heir. Some even speculated that he is involved in some shady practices. But most assumed he was a merchant, just like any other wealthy person in Liyue. Who could have guessed that in reality, he doesn't have any natural income? And what he has isn't even his.
Ever since Zhongli started to live as a mortal, he realized one important thing. For mortals, it's not power that moves the world. It's Mora. As the Geo Archon, he could manifest endless amounts out of thin air at his fingertips. And his beloved subject would thank him and sung him praises whenever he did. Even if he could never fully comprehend what compelled them to hoard so much Mora, they always had the most precious and thankful expression on their face. But now he understood, now he knew why they would flock around him. What feelings were hiding behind those worshipful eyes.
All he could do now was to rely on the kindness and generosity of his good friend Ajax. At first, Zhongli felt a bit bad about using Fatui's money to pay for his expenses. But Ajax always reassured him that there was no problem and that he would be happy to provide for anything. Zhongli enjoyed his presence beside him. He made sure to take him to the best places in Liyue for sightseeing. To taste the latest culinary specialties. Even the time-tested classics. Sometimes he complained. Especially when Zhongli reminded him, he should use chopsticks. And every once in a while, Ajax tried to convince him to go spar with him. He had the most adorable smile when he agreed to fight him.
Zhongli had never talked to Ajax about his feelings. About the warmth in his chest when he hears him calling out his name. The knots in his stomach when he would hug him out of nowhere. He wanted to tell him about how long it had been since he had felt like this. But he couldn't bring himself to it. Every time the moment seemed right, Zhongli felt as if a lump of gold got stuck in his throat. And the bag of Mora in his pocket started to weigh even heavier down on his chest. He had a couple of restless nights under his belt pondering this question. “Why?”. Why couldn't he bring himself to tell Ajax about his feelings? Why did he feel compelled to correct people about his financial situation? Did he want Ajax to get his recognition? No. He was one of the Harbingers and a formidable fighter; there was no need for Zhongli to boost his fame, even if it was more of an infamous reputation. Was he… ashamed? Scared?
Deep in the whirlpool of his mind, his thoughts were interrupted by the high-pitched voice of a little running girl nearby.
“Daddy! Daddy! Hurry up! I want some grilled fish. Can I have some, Daddy?” She stopped at the front of Wanmin restaurant, eagerly jumping up and down in excitement.
“Of course, sweetheart. But quiet down a little. You’re going to alert the whole street. The last thing I need is for another encounter with the Milileth guards.” A young-looking man caught up to her, slightly out of breath. “Let the gentleman in front of you order first, sweetheart.”
The little girl looked to her right and saw a young, somewhat extravagantly dressed blond man in front of her. She smiled brightly at him. “Do you love grilled fish too? My daddy always buys me one when I visit him.”
The blond man looked from the little girl up to her dad and gestured to him to order first, to which her dad nodded his head in appreciation.
The dad ordered and handed his daughter a grilled fish on a stick, chuckling at her enthusiasm. “Of course, my little angel. You always look so happy when I buy you one, and it makes me happy too. And that's what parents are for, no? To make our little one happy. I work hard only to see your smile, sweetheart.
As Zhongli watched the scene play out before him motionless, you could have mistaken him for a well-crafted statue. Standing in shock, almost breathless, as the realization that had been escaping him hit him with the full force of a meteor. The man’s words echoed in his head, mixed together with the words of the waitress from before. It was the simple truth that he hadn't realized until now. He looked at the little girl in front of the shop from a distance, and he saw… himself.
Dependant. That was what Zhongli saw in himself. With each passing second, he felt more hopeless in the situation he understood he was in. And why can't he bring himself to confess his feelings to Childe. Hah. How could he? HE was the “child” in the relationship. Without a care in the world for the impact he made on other people with his impulsive purchases. He took Childe’s money almost as a certainty in his life. He knew Childe was rich. His friends boasted numerous times about the number of zeros in his bank account, through his position as one of Tsaritsa’s harbingers. He KNEW Childe didn't mind. But the gap between them grew so wide without Zhongli even realizing it. Even though he worked as a consultant for the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, he only got paid occasionally, partly because his paycheck was spent before he even got it..
He sat down on a nearby bench and put his face in his palm, hiding the shame in his eyes and the turmoil behind them. The mortal life was harder than Zhongli anticipated, and his short-sightedness and preparations were biting him in the ass. Watching humans strive and fall during their daily lives was so fascinating to him. But till now, he realized he wasn't in full control of it. He was not exactly what a true human adult should be. Self-sufficient. Hard-working. Struggling to survive while feeling the true essence of being alive when you triumph over the mundane and depressing. He was even a bigger fool than he originally thought, and he couldn't help but chuckle at the sheer notion of it. All this time, he was taking the easy way out. Slipping through the nooks and cracks of society with the privileges of the rich. Of course, he couldn't bring himself to start a relationship with Childe when he didn't feel like somebody who would be his equal. Mighty Rex Lapis is reduced to a damsel in distress. Comical.
“You seem troubled, my friend. What’s with the long face?”
Zhongli lifted his head and saw the blond man from earlier standing in front of him, eating a grilled fish with a satisfied grin. Now that he got a good look at him, Zhongli noticed how high-quality all his clothes were. Long teal and black cloak with a matching vest and a fedora, sleek white trousers, and a pair of rosy sunglasses. He had an air of somebody who could buy a house at the same minute the thought entered his mind. But with much more playfulness in his eyes and a faint smell of cigars and alcohol underlining the fragrance of an expensive cologne.
“You have the face of somebody whose world fell apart around him. It's not the first time I've seen it in my life.”
Zhongli let out a deep sigh and smiled with a hint of hopelessness mixed in as he straightened himself back up.
“I just ran into a bit of a problem in my relationship status. Nothing serious.”
The man smiled knowingly as he sat next to Zhongli on the bench.
“Nothing serious, huh? You are playing an old player, mister. I've seen a thing or two in my time, and I bet I know what your troubles are about. It's a money thing, isn't it?”
Zhongli was surprised by how quickly the man saw through him, and it left him startled for a moment. “How… how can you tell?
The blond man laughed heartily as if he had won a bet he had made with himself. “You are not the first high-standing gentleman that I watched lose everything as the realization slowly hits them just how deep in the mud they actually are. Making money is my and my colleagues' craft, and I know when somebody is in the thick of it You are lucky one of them isn't here; they would prey on you like a snake about to have lunch.”
The blond man took off his pink sunglasses, and Zhongli was surprised by his very unique and beautiful eyes with a purple iris hue and diamonds within. “Feeling like sharing what troubled you?”
Zhongli took a deep breath to sort out his thoughts. He didn't know if he could trust the man, but he seemed somewhat sincere with him, so he might put his cards on the table and well.
“It's a little complicated. I have a friend…”
“A ‘friend’?” the man cut him off with a smile and a raised eyebrow.
Zhongli looked away from his gaze, and a faint blush crossed his cheeks with a subtle smile at the memory of Ajax. “Yes. Friend. And that's the problem. I would like to be more than friends with him. But I can't.”
“And why is that? Is he in some shady business?” the man joked.
Zhongli was about to correct him, but then he realized the statement wasn't necessarily false. “No, no. I mean. Yes, he is. You could look at it that way. But that's not the issue. I dealt with his organization before. The problem is the money. His money, to be more precise.”
“You don't like the way he makes his money? Ah!" The man snapped his fingers as if he had a breakthrough in a police case. “You want him to leave behind the life of crime and settle with you to live a proper merchant life where you will just take care of him,” the man said with the confidence of a lawyer, who presented his assumptions in the court of law.
Zhongli was slightly annoyed that he kept jumping to conclusions about his situation, especially when he was in such emotional turmoil, but he just shook his head. He understands why he reached that conclusion. To an outsider, the situation might have looked just the way he described it.
“No. I don't want him to leave the organization. He feels at home there, and he can fulfil his ambitions this way. But I can't take care of him. He takes care of me. Because I don't have any mora on me most of the time.”
The man froze in his confident pose when the wind was taken out of his sails and turned around in a pout that he was wrong. But the expression quickly turned into confusion as the man scanned Zhongli up and down, questioning his embroidered cloak and the faint aura of almost royalty around him. “You don't have money?”
Zhongli noticed the man’s gaze and figured out what he was referring to. “Keepsake,” he answered, “from a time that has passed by.”
The man leaned forward on the bench with his chin in his hand, looking at Zhongli more intensely this time, like a person would look at an interesting puzzle he wants to crack. “And what is the problem? With your friend then?”
Zhongli sighed and admitted the truth to himself and to the man out loud for the first time. “I don't want to just use his money. It makes me feel… guilty. As if I'm using him.”
The man rubbed his chin. “And isn't your partner ok with that? Most people wouldn't mind being pampered and just having a sugar daddy in their life who just gives them money. Paying for their expenses.”
Zhongli chuckled at the description. It wasn't the first time he had heard the phrase ‘sugar daddy’, and now that he was thinking about it, the term clearly applied in this case. Although he was not sure, he would call Ajax ‘daddy’. Maybe in time.
“That is true. But I'm not most people. And I don't want to feel like I'm just some pet he keeps around to spoil. A little kid he needs to take care of. I want to be his equal. His partner. I can't do that if I'm not making enough money on my own. To cover at least my own unnecessary expenses that I have grown a habit of having. I need to…”
“Make money,” the man said in a sly voice, lifting his head from his hand.
Zhongli looked at him, slightly confused, “Umm… yes.”
“Quickly, I presume as well,” the man said, slightly predatory and almost excited.
“Well..?” Zhongli was not sure how to answer that. But his feelings for Ajax wanted to finally pour out, and he began to get a little desperate. “Yes.”
The man smiled victoriously as if all the important pieces fell into place in his head and looked at Zhongli with an excited glint in his eyes. “Say, my friend…,” out of nowhere, a small plastic disk appeared in between the man’s fingers as he began to skilfully shift it on top of his knuckles from one finger to the next. “Have you ever been to a casino?”
Zhongli blinked a few times as he heard the man’s question. He heard that there was one in Liyue positioned on a private ship in the harbor. Surely the man is not suggesting what Zhongli was thinking.
“Why do you ask? But no, I wasn't. And from what I heard, it's an invite-only club.”
The man smiled even more wildly, throwing the plastic disk into the air, which Zhongli now recognized to be a poker chip, before catching it again, standing up theatrically with his arms spread in front of him. “To take it ALL, my friend. To bet big and take back even BIGGER! For that's the name of the game. And all your financial troubles could disappear...”
Zhongli stared at him, flabbergasted. A blank expression plastered on his face for a brief moment before he chuckled at the humorous enthusiasm and shook his head in disbelief. “I'm not experienced in this field at all. What person in their right mind would willingly participate in such unhealthy, hazardous entertainment?”
The man turned on his heel to look back at Zhongli with a smirk on his lips and an expression one would have when describing their favourite dessert.
“But my friend, that's what’s so thrilling about it, isn't it. Putting your whole life on the line, sacrificing all you have, going big or going home. Watching the stakes slowly rise, feeling the adrenaline of the anticipation, the fear of losing it all just to come back at the last moment, victorious, and feeling more alive than ever. As if all you've done up to this point has been proven to be worth it. When your own destiny is slipping between your fingers, left to the mercy of the dice and gods above, you rise to the challenge, using all that is available to you and grab it by force. because you are the master of your destiny. Nobody else. THAT, is what it means to be alive.” The man finishes his frantic and excited speech with a weak sigh followed by a light chuckle. “And with a bit of luck on your side, you can live life to the fullest.”
Zhongli pondered the man's offer. At first, it sounded preposterous, but the more he dwelt on it, the more he realized that it might have been just what he had been looking for. The way this man was singing to him about the subject… was this the way humans live their lives? Was this the true human experience he was craving? But to gamble all his money away? He couldn't do that. Not to him. Or to Ajax. But what if he won? Could this prove that he is his own person? That he is in control of his own life? That he “grasped his destiny,” as the man put it. Putting him on the same field as Ajax and not having to rely on him?
He looked up at the man standing above him, playing with the poker chip. There was a certain air of familiarity in him that Zhongli couldn't shake. The way he described putting everything on the line, even to the point of his own life, reminded him of Ajax. There was even a slight hint of undervaluing his own life to a degree in the man's chase for thrill, but Zhongli was not about to pry into that.
“You remind me of my friend. He also seeks out challenges after challenge. Hoping to achieve even greater thrills and be forced to put it all on the line. Not batting an eye if he gains a few cuts along the way. As if his very own life were just another trick he had up in his sleeve.” Zhongli recalled Ajax’s self-sacrificing tendencies in favour of more thrilling and tougher battles. It made him finish the sentence with a bitter undertone of concern. Sometimes, he hated how Ajax was so obsessed with his desire to seek out stronger and stronger opponents just to prove he could beat them. Even if he couldn't.
The blond man noticed the irritation in Zhongli’s voice, and a small knowing smile crept on his face. This time, a bit softer, understanding. “You seem to be a bit concerned about a friend’s life choices. Does he… endanger himself often?
Zhongli scoffs and reminisces on Ajax’s tendencies to get himself in danger. He knew he couldn't stop him. And he won't even try. But sometimes his heart ached when he knocked on his door, covered in blood and bruises, asking if he could stay a bit to patch himself up.
“He does. Every time I see him covered in blood, I can't help but curse his choices in my head. How reckless he can be. How he puts himself in danger. Sometimes when he is badly wounded, I ask him, 'What happened?', and his first instinctive answer is always to shrug the question and reply with 'You should have seen the other guy'. With the stupid bright grin on his face. Like nothing can touch him.
The blond man's eyes flashed with a sense of familiarity and almost understanding. He looked at Zhongli. “You really care for your friend, don't you. It reminds me of my husband. He, too, worries that one day I might kick the bucket prematurely. Always biting off more than I can chew. Thinking I can't handle myself, even if I've been in this game for my whole life. Nobody knows it better than me. I always calculate my risks. Make sure the pieces click into place. And what if I use myself as one of the betting chips? All in the good wager,” he crossed his hands on his chest in a childlike pout.
Zhongli found it almost adorable. The blond man had practically the same pout as Ajax always made when Zhongli scolded him. “I guess your husband must love you a lot. And just like me, he is worried that you will one day not return home to him. I somewhat understand his concerns. And I'm sure you do too. Even if you don't like to admit it.”
The man sighed, and for the first time during this conversation, his smile seemed genuine as he looked out to the sea, his mind travelled beyond the horizon. After a few minutes, his eyes darted from the sky, towards the harbor, and then back to Zhongli with a more determined look than before and a bit of mischief behind his eyes. “You know, friend. Let me help you. If you agree to take your life in your own hands and bet it all, I will teach you how to play the house. Of course, the owner might not like that because they are hoping people will lose money at his establishment, but even I have a few personal dealings there that are left open. So what do you say? “He flung the gambling chip into the air with an audible clink before catching it and extending a hand towards Zhongli. “What do you say? Will you scratch my back if I scratch yours? And teach you a few tricks in the game you're about to play? Of course, none of which are illegal. I wouldn't dare to put you in danger.”
Zhongli hesitated for a moment, but the prospect of finally standing up to Ajax not as a financial burden but as his equal made his heart decide for him as he shook the man’s hand. “I'm listening.”