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Meetings with his father-in-law were always tense, at best.
It didn’t help that the man hated his guts, ever since he helped one of his children get his independence, and sparked the idea that colonies could get rid of whoever was in charge of them through the continents (his girlfriend insisted they were two, of course).
Dating his daughter had been the last straw, of course. Mr. Spain (who had made it clear that Alfred lost the privilege of calling him Antonio ever again) had made it very clear by chasing him around with his axe when he and Fernanda told him about their relationship.
Alfred was pretty sure her siblings were laughing as Spain chased him, with his girlfriend trying to chase her dad to calm him down.
And of course, Fernanda wasn’t a fan of him getting that treatment by her dad, so she wanted to make sure they got along. By that, it meant she invited her dad over to spend sometime with them in her country.
And that’s also why Alfred was wearing his usual summer clothes, a tank top, a short and flip flops as he sat on the edge of the bed they shared, while his girlfriend, used to the tropical heat, simply opted for a pair of pants and the simple shirt she used when she had to pick coffee as she was finishing getting her make up done.
“is not that papi hates you” the girl insisted, but when you are chased down by an angry Spanish man with an axe, it sure is hard to believe that’s the case “is just that he is too protective with me and my sisters …you should have seen how it went when María Guadalupe told him she was dating Hyung Soo”
That was North Korea, right ? He was not sure, but knowing Mexico, it probably was the case. He did pity the dude: even being chased by Ivan was a child’s game after that incident with Mr. Spain
“And with your brothers ?” Because from what he knew, the sons of Spain tended to be quite flirty
“Ay, don’t make me start! “ she rolled her beautiful brown eyes “he couldn’t be prouder of them! But us girls ? Papi would have sent us to a convent if it was for him ! “
Like the rest of her siblings, Fernanda was Catholic. She even used had crucifix on her most of the time, or at least cross earrings, but right now she had chosen to wear long round ones.
Her hair was in two long, brown braids and had a cute purple flower in the left side.
“So what’s the plan, babe ?” Alfred asked as he stood and hugged her from behind.
The Latina giggled and kissed his cheek, making him blush.
“I will go pick him from the airport, and bring him over for some hot chocolate!” Of course, that was mainly because she didn’t like to put sugar and milk on her coffee, besides doing it a bit too strong “then tomorrow, we can take him to the beach, maybe to a football game…”
“You guys play football now ?” Alfred asked curiously
“Ah, right” football had another meaning for other countries, curiously “I meant soccer”
“Babe, I still don’t get why you call it that way “ Alfred frowned
“Hey, it’s funnier than your fake football! “ she showed him her tongue and Alfred laughed “can you please go buy some things for the chocolate? I kind of forgot and I’m already running late to pick up papi”
Alfred knew better than trying three things: One was being alone in the car with Spain, the second was driving a manual car (he was a pilot, and loved cars, but common, manual cars were an abomination) and the third was driving around in his girlfriend’s home. Not even the worst roads back in there could compete against hers, the only perk was the lack of deer but it was replaced with drivers who well…drove like she did. It was no wonder that the train would hit a couple of cars at least once a month.
So, picking the ingredients was the safe bet. Even if for some reason it seemed that prices would suddenly double when he went to shop alone but immediately drop to half whenever Fernanda was with him.
“Sure I can! “ he wasn’t the hero for nothing “what do you need exactly ?”
“Thank you, mi vida “he loved it when his girlfriend called him like it. He knew a bit more of Spanish, the language being more common in his place nowadays “I’m using a recipe from the book dad gave me for my last birthday, so I wrote it all down here”
It was strange that Mr. Spain didn’t get as sick as England whenever one of his children had a birthday, but hey, it was nice of him to join them for their celebrations. Except that he didn’t like it a lot when Alfred would show up with his girlfriend.
Alfred grabbed the list to read it, his girlfriend had written in English “hmm…Mexican sour cream, chocolate and milk?” Sour cream for chocolate?
“It’s a fancy European recipe I guess, from Vash” Fernanda shrugged “I have to ask, why Mexican? My sister didn’t invent it “she pouted.
“You are adorable “Alfred chuckled “well it’s not like regular sour cream and it’s mainly Mexican dishes that use them”
“Don’t let my sister hear that “of course, his neighbor and now sister-in-law didn’t like the type of dishes that he would call Mexican “try to buy it as liquid as possible, please!”
“Don’t worry, babe, your hero will get everything on this list!” he promised. His girlfriend smiled and kissed his cheek.
“I will come here in about an hour!” Fernanda said before she took her car keys and headed outside. That meant he had around two or three hours to go shop for everything on the list.
He would also buy a piece of bread, as the chickens his girlfriend kept in her backyard enjoyed eating it when it was a day or so old. He didn’t know how she got permission to keep them in her place, seeing her home was in the middle of the capital, but well, Alfred did have a whale after all.
The address to the store was simple. Ok, now it was. The last time he tried so, he got lost and Fernanda got quite worried when he didn’t come back until she found him.
She and her people didn’t give you the address with street names, or house numbers. That just didn’t exist there and he found that one time: He had to keep walking straight until the corner with a mango tree, then turn left and seek for the red house that used to be the house of the lady who sold sour cream ice cream (Fer assured him it was better tasting than it sounded), which was formerly the embassy from one of his brothers-in-law at some point, where now her family had a little bodega type of store right in front in a house with a black fence.
“¡Pura vida, señor gringo!”1 the grandson of the store owner knew him, so Alfred had an easier time ordering the things.
He smiled and bought what his girlfriend asked for. He could buy the bread in another store: even tho it was a one way street, he looked both ways before crossing to it. He had learnt that drivers, just like his girlfriend, didn’t really have a good sense of what should and shouldn’t be done. (and also that seeing the same motorcycle twice was a bad sign) Luckily, being a country, it didn’t even harm him, but well, the car had been totaled and being the hero, he had to pull the man out of there before calling an ambulance from a nearby house.
The ambulance never arrived, of course, so Alfred took the man there himself, because that’s what heroes did. Fernanda panicked when she saw that he had pieces of glass stuck on himself, but he was otherwise fine of course!
He returned before his girlfriend did, and changed his clothes to avoid looking a bit too casual when Mr. Spain arrived, but something still gave him a bad feeling: sour cream for chocolate? It did odd him out.
He could use google to find the answer, but of course, not only was it too soon for it, but the last time he did, it told him he had to swim through the Atlantic to get to Ludwig’s house, so clearly that thing was defective.
He tried calling his good old neighbor, who of course spoke Spanish, but the answer machine answered.
“Hola! Le has marcado a María Guadalupe Fernandez Cruz.
En este momento no me encuentro en mi casa, así que por favor deja tu mensaje despues del tono.
A menos que seas Alfred, en ese caso, CHINGA A TU PUTA MADRE”2
Oh well, she wasn’t available. He wondered if his other two sisters in law would maybe want to help, and he would easily walk over to their houses, but Maria Camila, despite his bosses’ support to her country, wasn’t fond of him (and her aim was way too good to risk it), and María Gabriela, well, they did get along, but she still would get a bit panicky whenever he visited her house after that small incident in the 89.
Besides, Fernanda would have said something, she was smart after all
His girlfriend and her dad came through the door, her sobbing and covered in bruises and car glass, her poor dress ruined, and her dad was in a similar state, but also using a tank top and shorts while he carried his luggage. Huh, so it was also a bit too humid for him…
WAIT, HIS GIRLFRIEND WAS CRYING!
Alfred ignored his father-in-law and picked her carefully
“BABE, WHAT HAPPENED?” should he take her to the hospital? And well, maybe Mr. Spain too
“THE TRAIN CRASHED AGAINST US AND RUINED MY CAR!” She cried and hugged him.
“Crashed against us?” Spain was still smiling, but the smile was not precisely friendly one, and Alfred didn’t know if it was because his daughter was dating him, or because of her choice of words “Maria Fernanda Fernandez Vazquez, you stepped on the accelerator after telling me that you would be able cross before the train did and knocked down the barriers, then the train hit us!”
Ah yes, that sounded like her usual antics. Phew, he thought something bad had happened to them. It was around the sixth or seventh card she’d wrecked by now. First automatic one as well, but she probably wouldn’t count it as Fer claimed that wasn’t actually driving.
“I usually can, Papi!” she sobbed and hugged Alfred more, which of course her dad didn’t like at all, seeing the look he was giving them, of course accompanied by his dark aura that his children were used too, but Alfred wasn’t one of his kids “But Mr. Boss will now take my license away again and probably ban the train!”
“Nah babe come on, it will be okay” Alfred pet her hair while trying to ignore her dad “Your boss will give it back, I’m sure of it!” just having his boss suggest it would be more than enough, it had worked the last five times
That was enough to stop her from crying “Thank you, mi vida” Fernanda kissed his cheek, and Alfred was sure that Mr. Spain was thinking about cutting his head off at the moment. Maybe Fer noticed, seeing she glared at her dad “I will go make something for the merienda, papi! Be nice with Alfred!”
They sat in the living room, with the tv playing a show in Spanish with some adults pretending to be children, while he sat across the coach where his father-in-law was. His girlfriend had made a drink with fruit from her country, and all that could be heard was Alfred sipping his
“So…you got any plans for the next big event in your country?” of course, until Mr. Spain spoke
Big event, big event…of course! “Oh yeah! It’s all set to play in Atlanta!” Wow, he didn’t know that Football was now popular in Europe
But the older country glared at him “I meant the World Cup, America”
Ah, right….” Uh…Well, yeah, I got plans for it, I totally do!” which meant he barely knew where the whole thing was even taking place
“Well, I’m going to win anyways, right, corazón3?”
“Papi, Yugoslavia beat you last time!” his girlfriend yelled from the Kitchen.
“Well, he is dead so that won’t be an issue again!” Spain yelled back “how are your guys? Are they ready to play against the best of us?”
“Uh well, yeah, sure they are!” he didn’t really care much about soccer
“Alfred’s team is good, papi!” his girlfriend yelled “they always beat my team!”
“Sure thing, Cielo4” Spain’s tone seemed to suggest he wasn’t believing it “so chocolate, huh? Was this your idea?”
“Oh no, it was Fer’s” it was a bit too hot in his opinion to drink it“she does have a good tolerance for the heat”
“Well of course, my children are just like me” of course, it seemed that humidity was another story. Alfred kept sipping on his drink
“Cold is another story” Alfred and her had been sure Florida during January wouldn’t have been that cold, but the poor thing ended up having to cuddle him to keep some warm. Not that he complained, but it was a shame that she couldn’t use her bikini and-
Mr. Spain brushed away his imagination bubble “Hey hey, yanqui5, stop imagining my little girl on those clothes!”
“Sorry sir” Alfred quickly apologized
“Papi, leave Alfred alone!” Fer complained from the kitchen “the chocolate is ready! Come try it while it’s hot!”
“Let me help there, babe” Alfred rushed to help her carry the chocolates, which smelled quite well.
“I will go finish cutting the bread and save some for the chickens, you two enjoy the chocolate!” she smiled before returning to the kitchen “I used the recipe from the book you gave me, papi! Vash’s recipe!”
Well, Alfred took a zip and…
God, it was the worst chocolate he’d ever drunk. He still gulped the zip, not wanting to make her find it wasn’t good.
By the looks of it, Antonio was also not liking the drink. Still, he wouldn’t say a word about it because her didn’t want to be mean with his daughter.
She returned with the bread and sat down “let’s see how this chocolate is…”Fer took a zip and…She didn’t like it either “Picha6, sabe horrible”
“Maybe I bought the wrong ingredient” Alfred said out loud, and took out the shopping list which his father-in-law snatched
“You let Alfred buy the things?” Mr. Spain’s eyes widened as he read what he had gotten “Are you insane? He is an idiot!”
“Hey, leave Alfred alone, papi!” his girlfriend said angrily. She stood up “He is sweet and- “
But Mr. Spain also stood up. Alfred knew better than trying to interrupt him
“Come on corazón, just see this! He got sour cream! He has been dating you for a while now and hasn’t gotten the decency to learn your language ” Antonio insisted “we are discussing in English, por el amor de dios!”
“That’s because you know you and I can’t get each other’s Spanish, and the author doesn’t want to be translating our whole conversation either!” She insisted “Alfred is sweet, smart and cares about me! He even wanted to impress you even though you are the one who is an asshole!”
“Wait, you think I’m smart?” Alfred blushed “Yeah, dude. I don’t like fighting with my girl’s dad, we used to get along!”
“That’s not what I’m discussing with my daughter!” Spain was still not relenting “He has a terrible Spanish! The chocolate uses whipped cream-“
To his surprise, Fernanda laughed and looked at Alfred, then at Antonio
“Oh, so I was the one who mistranslated it!” she put her palm against her face “It said nata! Papi, I thought it meant natilla!
“Natilla? What on earth is that?” now the European was also puzzled “if you used Vash’s recipe, it was supposed to have whipped cream!”
“It’s the sour cream Fer likes to use for her dishes” there was a bit in a tiny cup next to the bread, which he grabbed “this one!”
“It was my mistake, Alfred even questioned why I was using it” His girlfriend hugged him “You owe him an apology, papi!”
“An apology?” His father-in-law asked
“Yes, an apology!” his girlfriend demanded
“Fineee…” Antonio sighed “America, I apologize…”
“And you have to be nicer with Alfred!” Fer was refusing to let the hug go, Alfred had no issues with it of course.
“And I will be nice with you…” well, that was a start.
“May I call you Antonio again?” he asked with hopeful eyes
“No” his father-in-law answered
“Then I will be driving you around during your stay” his girlfriend decided
“….Of course you can, Alfred!”