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Is He Cheating? Man I Don’t Know…

Summary:

A mysterious woman shows up at Joel’s door unexpected. Who is this woman? What is she doing here? And how is her hair so perfectly light pink?

Do not repeat the actions of what Grian does in this story.

Notes:

Honestly the OG title of this fic was not what is being posted but it makes more sense I picture the conversation between Grian and Mumbo going

Grian: is he cheating? (Spying on Joel)
Mumbo: Man, I don’t know… (so done with this)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

A mysterious figure has entered the hermit apartment building. A trench coat tapered at their ankles, sunglasses to block the fluorescent lighting I guess and an mcc themed baseball cap. They hike up the treacherous stairs but stop at room 302. Before they could even knock, the knob turns  and Joel emerges from behind the hinges.

 

“Uh- Lizzie?!” Joel’s stunned there’s no way she could be here. 

“Hi Joel, I’m back!” Lizzie’s hair flows free from the cap reaching above her waist, she somehow keeps up with the pastel pink flawlessly. 

“I thought you weren’t done till July?” 

“Well they had to cut it short due to wild Kiwis invading the set. I warned them about filming in the wilderness.” 

I should probably explain. This pink haired lady is Lizzie, Joel’s wife. She’s a very busy actor starring in a new film called Misadventures down in New Zealand. The two continue talking as they fade into Joel's room. Joel presses a kiss to the top of Lizzie’s head. 

 

Two heads pop out from the ceiling. 

“Did you see that…” Grian whispers to Mumbo who’s squished behind him.

“I can’t see anything-“ the mustache man wasn’t on gravity’s good side today… 

“Shushhhhhh. Didn’t Joel say he had a wife?” Grian plops down next to Mumbo. How does he stay in the ceiling? 

“Yes… what about it?” 

“Who was that woman he was with?” 

“Maybe his wife…?” 

“No, we would’ve seen her before, he’s lived here for over a year.” 

“Now that you’re mentioning it. I think I recognize that woman,” 

The two say on the floor stare at each other for a minute.

 

“So what’s her name?” Grian starts again,

“I forgot,” Mumbo fixes the side of his hair.

“So we agree Joel is cheating on his wife,” G jumped at the conclusion,

“And he must be stopped,” Mumbo was no help in this… 

“What are you two doing on the floor?” Tango stops the record,

“Joel’s cheating on his wife!” Grian takes his shot and shouts really loudly

“Shhhh, what?” Tango just stares mouth agape, “ok… good luck with that,” this isn’t the first time G has taken something the wrong way and came out very stupid. “Oh and stop falling out of the ceiling,” he says last before closing his door with a slam. 

“What should we do now?” Mumbo doesn’t know why he’s listening to Grian… 

“We should tell his wife,” what else were you expecting him to say? 

 

It was at this moment Joel opens his door again with him and his beautiful “wife” leaving the apartment. She had changed from her black cloak into a pink flower dress. G and Mumbo ducked back into the ceiling without getting seen. 

“Hm, Joel, what's the problem?” Lizzie peaks as he stares at the uneven ceiling tiles. 

“Oh nothing,” those definitely weren’t there before.

 

Above was Mumbo shaking like a wet dog… The two made their way down the stairs, probably going out on a date or something. As soon as the coast was clear Mumbo topples down again smacking face first into the concrete floors, ouch. 

“Mumbo, stop falling out of the ceiling!” Tango shouts through his door. 

Grian peaks his head down again. “Coast clear,” he jumps down landing in a default spy position cause he’s just cool like that. “Alright let’s go,” he crab walks over to Joel’s door and tries at the lock.

“Since when did we turn into spies?” Mumbo audibly confused and Grian failing at pick locking an idea sparks. 

 

“He leaves his window unlocked…” 

“W-what? Grian, how do you know that?” 

“Unimportant, follow me,” they race up the stairs and out on the balcony. 

“G-Grian! What are you doing?!” The man in question was climbing over the balcony railing just as quickly to hug the corner of the building as he inch wormed over to Jevin’s balcony which was right above Joel’s. 

 

“Grian what are you doing?!” Gem hollered from her porch chair. She was sat, legs crossed, sun glasses pulled down, reading a book and sipping sweet tea in the shade. Red head problems. G froze.

“Oh uhhh, rock climbing?” It’s best to not question the actions of one pesky bird. Gem pushed her glasses back up with a hum, this was not the first time Grian did something stupid on the side of the building and most certainly not the last. She must not let their chaos interrupt her precious reading time. 

Grian grabbed the railing of Jevin’s balcony and as he guided his footing down to the window below, he pushed it open with his foot, grabbed the top of the sill and flew inside. 

 

“Come on Mumbo, it’s easy,” Grian poked his head out, reaching a hand up to him. 

“Yea definitely not, I’ll meet you on the other side,” yes, he is scared of heights. 

Mumbo met Grian at Joel’s front door. 

“Pizza delivery,” Mumbo held out an invisible pizza box as Grian opened the door.

“Shhh, get inside.” G grabbed his tie and yanked him in slamming the door behind them.

 

The sunlight dimmed through the curtain tinting the room blue as the two tip toed like they’re in some spy movie. As they made it through the living area Grian swung his hand over his head, outstretching his leg to hit a ninja even making the sound effects. Mumbo goes in to copy him instead smacking his toes against the couch. Ouch! He started jumping like a pogo stick at the pain while the pesky blonde haired fell to the floor in hysterics. 

 

“Ow that hurt,” the wet cat whimpered following Grian into Joel’s bedroom. “Isn’t it- like a breach of privacy to look through someone’s stuff?” He leaned on the doorway looking all chuffed as G searched through drawers and shelves.

“If he’s got nothing to hide then we’ll come out empty handed,” G shrugged as he dropped to the floor searching under the bed… only dust bunnies haunting down there. He moves to the closet. Shuffling through the shelves he stumbles upon a pair of shoes much smaller than the others and pink! Joel doesn’t like pink… that was obvious by the sheer amount of green he owned. Why does he have pink joggers?

“Explain this then.” G holds up the pair of shoes, they’ve been worn a couple times judging by the dirt but the dust proves they haven’t been worn in a while.

 

“Well I don’t question how you climbed the side of a building in doc martens, you shouldn’t question why Joel wears pink joggers in a size that’s way smaller than any of his other shoes..” Mumbo pathetically tries but Grian arching his eyebrow makes him let out a big sigh, “I don’t know G, let’s just go bug someone else or something,” 

“Nuh uh, not till I get my proof.” 

He continues to search the bathroom… a brush with pink hair in it and some other feminine products.

“AHA! Look, he is cheating!” Grian holds them up to Mumbo’s face.

“What if he’s not and you’re delusional…“ 

“Why else would he have hidden them though?!” 

“when’s the last time you’ve drank water Gri?”” 

 

“He said he has a partner Mumbo, who uses the word partner unless they’re same sex! And you see that flag there-“ he ushers to a mini bi flag tucked into the corner… “Joel’s bi! And he’s too scared to come out! Even though I’m also bi… and he knows that.” G paces back and forth pondering, something was definitely up with Joel. The way he jumped when he noticed who was at the door, like he didn’t expect it to be that lady. Hmmm suspicious. 

 

“Grian!” Mumbo claps his hands in his face to knock him out of this trans. 

“Huh- oh yea. We have to tell the other Mumbo!” And just like that the little man sprinted out of the ogres apartment.

“Sighhh,” he drops his shoulders… Mumbo fixes up the rooms in tip top shape almost like nobody was there in the first place. He snuck out the door locking it behind him. And now he had to track down the pesky bird before he causes some real trouble. 

“Mumbo?” The sudden call makes him jump like a helpless cat.

“Oh uh- hi Tango,” he jumps into position scratching at the anxiety spot on the back of his head. “I was just uh-“ 

“Locking Joel’s door…?” Tango arched his eyebrow. 

“It’s a long story. I have to go,” Mumbo sighed and chased the wingless bird down the stairs. For no wings he sure could fly pretty fast. 

“I think Grian’s about to cause some chaos, and not the good type,” Tango calls to Zed as he makes his way back into his room. 

____________

 

Joel hadn’t expected Lizzie to just show up at his front door today. How had she gotten up 3 flights of stairs without getting stopped? I mean he told the others he had a partner, but Lizzie?! Surely they’d have recognized that she’s a famous actor and questioned what a goddess like her was doing with this busted up radiator. Apparently his presence made her happy, and that made Joel happy. 

Lizzie was adjusting his hair as they made their way down the sidewalk, her heels clinking against the pavement. Every time she got it perfect he would shake his head just to mess it up again causing her to shove her palm into his nose bursting out in giggles when he grabbed her waist and pulled her closer, the laughter silenced with a quick kiss on the lips as they interlocked fingers again crossing the next block. This was nice. Although they were practically playing a waiting game until someone noticed a random guy walking with a famous actor in the middle of Brighton. 

 

They rushed down the sidewalk to get to their reservation. Being famous has its perks.  “Reservation for two,” Lizzie follows the hostess to a nice booth off to the side. The two sat opposite and quickly ordered drinks once the waiter came. 

“I’ve been thinking,” Lizzie starts. Joel takes a sip of water and quickly places it back down. That's never a good start to any conversation. “We’ve been dating for a long time…” 

“Has it almost been ten years?” he takes Lizzie’s hands in his. 

“In September…” 3 months

 

Food gobbled, the sunsetting on the horizon of the ocean full of prismarine. Lizzie and Joel made their way down the sandy shore. Their fingers were intertwined, it was the most romantic thing ever even rose petals were falling from nowhere. Lizzie stopped and stared at the continuous waves going in and out at the soothing sound of a woosh! The wind blew subtly shifting through her hair and she took a deep breath. Joel took the chance. He dropped her hand and took a step behind her. It took Lizzie a while to register what he could possibly be doing… Then she turned her head. The last ray of sunlight glimmered off the blue diamond before it dove under the endless pool. Then she gasped. 

____________

 

Grian jumps the last step, Mumbo in tow. It was almost cartoonish how fast he managed to make it down that many flights so quickly without stumbling. 

“Xisuma! Suma- X! X!” Grian shouts running towards him. 

“Yes, Grian? What now…” 

“Joel is cheating on his partner!"  

“W-what?” X furrowed his brow. 

“I saw him with another girl!” Grian adds.

“And have you ever seen Joel’s partner before?” 

“Oh… uh-” 

“Ehem,” Grian pans over to Joel who had just walked through the door… bad timing. 

“Hi Joel,” G waves awkwardly, he did not expect the man himself to be right there.

 

Just in time Mumbo comes comedically rolling down the stairs. 

“Gri- wait!” 

“Mumbo? You good?” Joel peers over to the mustache man legs up on the wall over his head while swirls take over his irises. “Anyway, Grian this is my fi-” 

“Grian?!” 

“Wait- Lizzie?! You’re dating this guy!” 

“Actually we’re engaged…” she holds out her hand 

“Woah- wait back track, you two know eachother?” Joel is standing awkwardly between the two siblings. 

“Yes, Grian is my younger brother. Speaking of younger siblings, where's Jimmy?” 

“Tim lives in a different building not too far,” 

“Glad to see you two still looking out for each other," 

“Unlike you.” he huffs crossing his arms very child like

“Grian…I-” she gets interrupted by a knock at the door.

 

Xisuma opens it to be greeted by a police officer. 

“Pardon me, we have a call that a person was climbing down the side of the building earlier and it posed a safety threat.” The officer explains, 

X shoots Grian a look, “and what is the physical description of this person?” he requests. 

“Blonde hair, red crewneck…” He goes on. Grian makes his great escape but is too slow once Xisuma shuts the door. 

“Grian! Again?!” Xisuma whips around to the criminal.

 

Yes this is not the first time Grian has jumped out the window, i don’t know if i’ve stated that before. 

“Again? Wait- were you sneaking into my apartment?!” Joel finally comes to the conclusion of what this little rascal could’ve gotten up to. I mean he had to gather evidence somehow. 

“Escape-!” Grian shoots up the stairs like he had wings, Joel in tow. 

“Was he always like this?” X questions Lizzie. 

“Oh yeah. He’d always be putting baby powder in blow dryers, whoopy cushions under the sofa cushions, and so much more,” 

“Grian!” Doc's angry voice bounces off the walls. 

“So… you staying for the night?” 

“Yes, I leave Sunday," 

“Great! Glad to have your company until then.” 

Notes:

Well… it seems we’ll be seeing Lizzie again sometime soon… maybe a full family reunion :)

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