Work Text:
Shioshi lays here, at the edge of the universe, and wonders if this is enough. If Hydaelyn is finally done stringing her across the world like a puppet, solving problems she doesn’t really care about, helping people she barely even knows. She saved everyone this time. Doesn’t she deserve to be done, now?
Another shuddering breath rattles through her throat, into her lungs. Shioshi wishes she could just stop breathing; it hurts now, just like the rest of her battered body. She’s barely able to keep her eyes open, just a sliver, enough to see the swirling colors of the sky above her and the glare of some bright star on the horizon. It’s not a bad sight to wither away to, at least, with faint stars twinkling in the nebulous atmosphere.
Zenos is somewhere beside her, Shioshi remembers. She thinks she can feel his fingers against her own half-numb ones, but the most she can do is twitch those fingers, seeking him out even when she can’t turn her head to see him. He feels cold but not yet stiff, but Shioshi can’t hear him breathing. She hasn’t heard him move since they both fell here.
A strange twinge of sadness threatens to spoil the satisfaction settling deep into Shioshi’s bent and broken bones. She’s won, even if she’s well on her way to her own death. And yet, she feels empty at the absence of Zenos’s life.
Perhaps this is grief. It’s something Shioshi has never truly understood. She never seemed to feel it when her companions did, never truly felt anything even when others around her mourned for their fallen comrades. But something had been different, between Zenos and herself. Shioshi had finally felt seen, understood. She’s aware now what that says about her, to fall for a man so twisted, but if people hadn’t known the truth about her before, it was their fault. She’d never tried to change herself for the sake of others.
Another breath, shallower than the first, but no less painful. Shioshi’s vision is dimming around the edges, but she can’t seem to lower her eyelids the rest of the way. She fancifully wonders if she and Zenos might end up in the same afterlife. She’s never imagined what that might be like, but surely they deserve to go to the same place once dead. Not anywhere great, but maybe not the furthest reaches of the hells. They did both just save the world, after all. That has to balance out their scales.
Shioshi finally notices the taste of blood in her mouth. When she tries to take another breath, it gurgles, gets stuck in her throat, but she doesn’t even have the strength to reflexively cough. What a way to go, drowning in her own blood. She can only see darkness now, but she’s not sure she ever closed her eyes.
She thinks she hears a flutter of wings and a faint beeping, but she can’t feel her body anymore. Shioshi knows what’s coming. She’s not afraid. She only hopes she sees him on the other side.