Work Text:
There were signs. You just hadn’t wanted to confront them.
You didn’t blink an eye at a missed period or some weight gain. You shrugged off that particularly nagging craving for an extra milk tea after missions. At work, you’d feel staggering waves of nausea or exhaustion, but dismiss it as fatigue from fighting off a particularly high-ranking Wanderer or your hellish schedule as a busy Hunter.
But once the vomiting began--you knew it was serious. Endless and persistent every morning, you came to the office ragged and exhausted, telling your colleagues about your suspicions of a case of food poisoning or coming down with a stomach flu.
But of course, it wasn’t.
And of course, your lover Sylus knew it too. You both knew it, even if you’d never discussed it.
“Are you okay, sweetie?”
You’d felt a hand gently pull back your hair from your face one morning as you retched into the toilet--which was unfortunately, the most premium and technologically advanced toilet you’d ever used.
Pitifully, you lifted your head from the seat and groaned.
Sylus stroked your back comfortingly, sitting beside you patiently as you gagged and heaved. Once it was over, he’d promptly cleaned you up and carried your partly-unconscious self to bed and… you couldn’t remember what happened after you fell asleep.
After that morning, you’d stopped showing up to the Onychinus base, deathly afraid of making it too obvious to him.
He’d never asked why. He hadn’t questioned your disheveled state or the reason for your disappearance. He’d probably known for a while… maybe even before you.
As you remembered the abandoned positive pregnancy test still lying on your bathroom counter, you felt a wave of nausea and self-disgust.
It wasn’t like you’d never imagined starting a family with Sylus. You knew he wasn’t exactly against the idea himself--he used protection with you every time without fail, but never initiated it---only after your timely tug of his shirt as a reminder. Even so, you actually kind of liked the idea of sharing parental responsibilities, growing old together, watching Sylus become a doting and spoiling father.
Although… you did have some thoughts about raising children in the N109 Zone. You would prefer it if your children weren’t accustomed to the sound of gunshots and frenzied murders every night they went to sleep.
Despite everything--the suddenness of it all scared you.
It made no sense. You knew that if you weren’t ready to see the pregnancy through to the end, Sylus would always stand by your decision. And if you were ready, he would never pressure you into joining Onychinus or being at his side. Although he had a bad habit of meddling in your Association missions once in a while, he always allowed you independence to freely work and live in an environment that considered him a wanted criminal. Even after you’d started a family with him, you were sure he would never force you to join his way of life permanently.
Then why am I so afraid? You felt a pang of frustration and self-disgust as you walked home from work down the familiar streets of Linkon, a swelling bag of milk tea drinks clenched in your hand.
Everything would be fine. I could always return to my job at the Hunter’s Association. And there’s no doubt about it--Sylus is the only one, the one who I would start a family with.
Falling deeper and deeper into your murky and jumbled thoughts, you hadn’t realized a dip in the road ahead of you--a wave of dizziness causing you to stumble and lose your balance.
Just as you screwed your eyes shut and braced yourself for a searing pain, you felt yourself being scooped up by a strong, firm arm. A flash of that familiar black blazer was all you needed to see to know who it was.
“S-Sylus?! What are you doing here?” You panicked, instinctively covering your stomach.
His crimson eyes were trained on you, bright and steady amidst the darkness of the evening. He looked away, hooking the bag of milk tea on his finger as he lifted you up with the arm.
“Really. You wound me. You think after seeing you in such a horrible state, I wouldn’t be monitoring your condition regularly?” He scoffed slightly.
“Oh… I must be really out of it. I usually can spot Mephisto from miles away..” You joke lamely, clutching onto his broad shoulders for stability as he begins to walk in the remaining distance of your house.
A moment of charged silence passed. Your head swam with a sticky mixture of guilt and panic. He faced forward, with an unwavering expression. You had no idea what he was thinking.
“Sylus, I…” You looked away, at a loss for words. Your voice faltered, and he finally looked down at you. You were sure that this time for sure, he was going to be angry at you for avoiding him and withholding the truth. You couldn’t help but squeeze your eyes shut as you braced yourself.
When the outburst never came, you tentatively opened your eyes to see his expression clearly for the first time. To your surprise, what was reflected in his eyes wasn’t anger, even in that fierce, Aether Core-embedded right eye. All you could see reflected was him. His gentle eyes that watched over you with patience and understanding, and the reassuring warmth of his body.
“...Yes?” He murmured, as if he wasn’t aware of the very thing you were about to confess to. As if he wasn’t worried sick himself. As if he wasn’t just pretending not to know all along, just to give you a small sliver of control in your spiraling life.
Your heart swelled, and suddenly, everything that was weighing down your heart with fear and uncertainty dissipated. Of course, I had nothing to worry about in the first place. After all, how could I lose control over myself when you’re with me?
You couldn’t help but melt into a tender smile and lean up to his ear, your nose brushing against his silver hair. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw your feet swaying with every step he took, your aching body nestled into that familiar one-arm hold. His steady breathing flitted by your cheek in the cool night air. It was him, simply just him, for sure.
You took a deep breath, then whispered in a quiet voice only he was able to hear: “I’m pregnant.”
As you pulled away, you saw surprise momentarily flash across his eyes, but he quickly schooled his expression into a smile, half-relieved and half-bemused. “....I wasn’t expecting you to say it that quickly.”
“You’re not angry?” You bit your lip, still unable to believe it yourself that you’d just admitted it so fast.
He lets out a chuckle, squeezing his grip on your legs. “Did you think I was going to let you stubbornly rush out onto dangerous missions in this state for any longer? I’d rather I spent my time spoiling you at home than continuing to give you those silent assists when those Wanderers got a little too close to you for comfort.”
You pouted and wrapped your arms around his neck, squeezing him back. “You really did know everything.”
“Of course I did, kitten. There’s nothing more important than this.” Sylus said matter-of-factly, approaching the door of your apartment lobby.
“And yet.. You still let me be stubborn and distant.” You say, feeling a little guilty. “Even though I should’ve told you right away.”
“You don’t know how painful it was to see you force yourself to get to work every morning.. To see you refuse any contact with me.” He paused to input your passcode into your door lock. At his strained admission, you hung your head, feeling even more guilty.
“But…” He lifted your chin with his thumb, revealing his signature smirk. He sweeps you into the darkness of your living room, closing the door behind him. “It would’ve been even more painful for me to keep you feeling bound and forced to be at my side. I told you before, didn’t I? If you wished for it, I would disappear without a trace.”
“Don’t you dare.” You grab at his face as he sets you down gently onto the sofa.
Sylus smirked. “How could I.. when I haven’t even met that little one in there yet?”
While he would have usually pinned you down and trapped you between his arms in such a charged atmosphere, this time he simply kneels beside your sprawled form to meet your eyes. He lets your thumbs trace his jaw and pull his face in, eyes tender and loving.
“I’m sorry,” You manage to whisper before he leans in to capture your lips with his own. Momentarily, your apologies and thoughts get swallowed up in a heated haze as he kisses you. Your mind dances upon sensing the familiar warmth of his lips and the smell of him. You’re unsure if it’s because you’re so emotional or if it’s because you haven’t kissed him in so long--but you can’t help the whimpers that emerge from your throat as he deepens the kiss, his tongue finding yours.
You lie back, out of breath as he kisses down your chin, then your neck. As if he was rediscovering all of your sensitive spots, tasting them for the first time again. This time, the kisses are gentle and soft, too soft to leave any of his usual brusque marks.
“Why are you apologizing?” His chin slid down your chest and down to your stomach--the slight bump that was barely protruding from your figure, and yet still prominent. “You never have to apologize, kitten. Never for protecting what’s most important in the whole world… you.”
Sylus’s hands slip up your shirt, gently rolling up the hem to kiss your stomach. He looked so reverent, almost at peace. You’d never seen such a facial expression on him. You smiled and ran your fingers through his hair, enjoying the silent moment between the two of you. Perhaps in the future, after this child was born, you would grow used to seeing such an expression.
You saw the depths of emotion in his gaze, and yet.. He held back all those words you’d typically hear upon a pregnancy announcement. No “I’m going to be a father”. No speculations on the gender or future planning. In that moment, still, he only saw you.. Until you were really ready.
“I’d be lying if I wasn’t still a little afraid,” You confessed. “I.. I’m not sure I’m ready for such a big change.”
Sylus leaned down with his eyes closed against your stomach, his silver hair catching the moonlight from outside your window. “Whatever you decide to do, I’m always on your side. You know that.” You felt the rumble of his throat on your stomach, slow and soft.
You smile at him, unable to suppress the reassurance and tenderness you’re feeling in that moment. “Shall we start constructing a nursery at the Onychinus base soon?”
“That can come later,” Sylus said, lifting you up and heading towards your bedroom. “For now, just rest.. And don’t think about anything else.” He laid you in bed, giving your forehead a gentle kiss as he always does before bed.
You snuggle into the crook of his arm, and for the first time in weeks, you let yourself fall into a comfortable sleep in his arms, the ache in your legs and back sinking into your bones tenderly.
Whatever awaited ahead, you knew you would be fine as long as you were together.