Chapter Text
The throbbing in Dorian's head was the first thing he woke up to.
That wasn't much of a surprise. Especially after the amount of… quite frankly terrible Ale he had drunk the night before. And wine…and some other terrible spirit that Sera had found.
His bedchambers were not much bigger then a closet really and were scarcely decorated. Stone walls devoid of life, A small window allowing a small sliver of morning light to spill into the room. The blank walls were almost a comfort. Nothing to pack up if he needed to leave in a hurry again. Nothing personal to loose.
Everything was almost as he had left it the night before…. Almost.
The man leaning against the headboard of the bed was certainly not supposed to be there.
The warden slept surprisingly peacefully, at least to Dorian's eyes. His eyes closed, breathing deep and steady. A leg dangling over the side of the bed like he had fallen asleep trying to climb into bed. Deep blue-black hair falling down around his face like a shroud. Dressed pretty much the same as he normally did when he was around skyhold besides the missing sword on his hip.
Dorian's hand was still held gently in his own.The other man's hand were calloused and warm, holding his own like it was the most natural thing to be doing in this moment. Like it was easy as breathing.
The events of the night came crashing back to him as he sat up. The drinks, Vahon's kind laughter when he had joined him, The utterly abysmal flirting that had happened between the two of them. Being carried to his room when the tavern had started spinning too much to remain upright…..Pleading with Vahon to not leave him alone and his lips against his forehead when he had promised to remain.
Maker, he had made an absolute fool of himself.
He didn't have much time to come up with a plan, an excuse… anything really, Before the man sitting next to him shifted, A golden eye flickering open and a soft smile on his lips, and any excuse he could try and come up with was gone from his mind.
"I did bring some painkillers with me, if you-"
"We…Didn't-"
"No… No I wouldn't. Not that you're not handsome... But I wouldn't take advantage of you in this state."
Some sense of relief in hearing his words, as he relaxed again into the pillows… closing his eyes to try and gather his thoughts. To think of what to do, what to say.
A silence crossed between them, though not really uncomfortable, and it suddenly came to his mind that he was still holding Vahon's hand, feeling the soft brush of his thumb over his knuckles. The dull ache in his heart that he had been trying to avoid for months, The longing and gentle touch that he had tried to avoid.
But Vahon sat here with him, looking at him not with pity, but with quiet acceptance. He'd carried him to bed even after he'd made such a fool of himself… treated him with kindness where he didn't think he deserved any.
That almost made it worse in someway.
"Dorian… how much do you remember, about last night?"
"Did I say something foolish? If it was unwelcome-"
"No no… it wasn't. I just… was curious. Was it just banter or… was there something else there."
He paused, swallowing thickly hearing the tone of the warden's voice. It wasn't accusatory. Just stating facts as plainly as someone normally would.
If it had been anyone else… he might have lied. Said it was just banter. No feelings involved.
But he didn't want to lie to him. To pretend that it was nothing. He couldn't put the cat back into the bag so to speak. To hide feelings he clearly had displayed so openly.
"What do you want me to say? That you're handsome? That you have a bad habit of worming your way into places that you shouldn't?… In Tevinter anything between two men is for pleasure. nothing more. I'm assuming you would want more then that. more then I can give you."
"…What do you want, Dorian?"
"It doesn't matter what I want."
"It does to me. If you would want a relationship… I'm willing. If you just want sex, That is okay too-"
A shaky pause, a soft smile on Vahon's lips that left butterflies in his stomach.
"-But what I don't want is you feeling like you don't have a choice in this. You're important to me Dorian. The last thing I would want to do is hurt you."
He must have looked surprised… because he was surprised. But then again when had Vahon not surprised him constantly.
"I like you. But A relationship? I've never… It's well outside my area of experience so to say."
He watched as Vahon raised their joined hands, brushing his lips over the back of his knuckles with a smile that made his heart ache with longing.
"Neither have I. But I'm willing to try. That's all I ask of you."
"…You're insufferable."
The smile that crossed Vahon's lip was warm, his golden eyes practically sparkled as he gave his hand a tight squeeze with a laugh before releasing it. slowly raising from the bed. stretching slightly from clearly having laid in a strange position for most of the night.
Dorian almost mourned the loss of the warmth, as he watched him. Feeling the brush of his lips against his forehead. His touch light, and he almost desperately leaned into it. Body craving that gentle touch he hadn't let himself experience.
"Get some more sleep Dorian. I'll find you later… Okay?"
He gave him a hesitant nod, watching the way he lingers for just a second before slipping out of his quarters. The quiet click of his door as it closed.
He closed his eyes, the ache in his head was still there, but he almost felt lighter in other ways. Once he had slept a bit more… once he could drag that man somewhere alone… He could figure this out.
They would figure this out.