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Hiruko trudged back to Last Defense Academy, her clothes sticking to her skin despite the chill in the midnight air. The jump suit protected her body from the worst effects of time looping, but the synthetic material also trapped heat like nobody’s business. At least no invaders tried to stop her this time.
Passing through the Undying Flames only added to the sweat, and by the time Hiruko entered the school proper, she was positively drenched. Joints aching, she made her way through the entrance hall, down the hall, and past the workshop to the stairwell.
Just as she gripped the stairwell railing, she heard the faintest of metal clangs emanating from the workshop, followed by a “dammit!” from Tsubasa. Hiruko smiled to herself. Drained as she was… her shower could wait for ten more minutes.
Hiruko opened the workshop door to find Tsubasa on the floor, a disassembled shield tower unit and its components scattered all around her. The mechanic was so engrossed in her work that she didn’t even notice Hiruko when she walked through the door.
“Miss Kawana,” Hiruko said, her voice more gravelly than she’d like, “I didn’t think I’d see you up this late.”
A jolt ran through Tsubasa - she looked up from her work with a start as a massive grin spread across her face. “Hiruko!” She got up, wiping her greasy hands off on her pants. “Sorry I didn’t see you there! Did you need something? I’ve got some tea…” Tsubasa got up and traipsed around various metal components to the cart where she kept her tea kettle and poured herself a cup.
Hiruko shook her head. “I’m quite alright, thank you,” she replied, even though she actually was quite thirsty. It still felt wrong to take from Tsubasa, somehow.
Tsubasa took several gulps of her tea. “Alrighty, then. There’s plenty left if you change your mind.”
Hiruko cleared her throat. “So what are you working on?”
Tsubasa finished off her tea in one long swig, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she prepared to explain. “This,” she explained, motioning towards the scattered components with her empty teacup, “is a spare shield generator. Now normally, these can protect the school but not themselves - they can easily get attacked by invaders. I was hoping to upgrade the voltage capacity on these, so that maybe they can redirect some of that voltage towards self defense…”
Hiruko smiled to herself as Tsubasa walked her through every component, her every remark about superconducting metal alloy and energy efficiency upgrades. Tsubasa was in her element, it seemed - completely at peace with her work. Her tan face was aflush with excitement, her hands frantically gesturing from one thing to the next, her words tumbling out in such rapid fashion that by the time the mechanic was finished, she was slightly out of breath. It was a sight that left Hiruko with a warmth in her chest.
“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry Hiruko,” Tsubasa burst out a moment after finishing her spiel. “I totally just infodumped on you there… I hope I didn’t bore you!”
“Not at all, Miss Kawana. It’s my top priority to keep tabs on any projects that can increase our chances of survival.”
“Hiruko, please.” Tsubasa came up beside her and rested her hand on Hiruko’s. (Oh, how she loved the feel of Tsubasa’s calloused fingertips! The slight grip of the industrial grease on her skin as their fingers intertwined…) “You know you don’t have to be so formal with me.”
“I’m sorry… Tsubasa.” Hiruko sighed, feeling the ache already begin to settle into her shoulders. She regretted not taking Tsubasa up on her offer of tea.
“If you don’t mind me asking… why are you here this late? Were you working out just now?”
There was no way Tsubasa could know. She could never know. Perhaps, if this timeline ended up the way she wanted, and they all found their way safely back to the Artificial Satellite, she could explain to Tsubasa why the timeline leaping was necessary. She could apologize for being closed off, for being gone at odd hours, for not initiating affection because there was always a chance that she had tuned the settings incorrectly and jumped to the wrong timeline where Tsubasa hadn’t confessed to her in the workshop that fateful afternoon… One day she could tell her these things, in a realm of maybes and longed-for possibilities. But not now. Now she was alone - even with her lover, she was alone.
“Just some extra training,” she lied. “I can never tell if Mr. Sumino is going to drop, you know…”
“I getcha.”
“Besides,” Hiruko continued, the fatigue already beginning to slur her words slightly, “I’m on the front lines. I can’t let my guard down for a moment.” She sighed, her gaze drifting down to where Tsubasa was gently caressing her knuckles with her thumb. “Honestly, I’m jealous of you. I wish I could spend my days enjoying myself like you get to, tinkering with your machines and whatnot.”
“Oh.” Tsubasa pulled her hand away, and in an instant Hiruko knew that she had said something wrong. “If that’s what you think… That I’m just playing around here…”
Shit. Hiruko wasn’t used to fumbling. Of course the rare moment she’s vulnerable, she screws it up.
“That’s not what I meant,” is all her fatigued mind could come up with, though she knew deep down that it was a lie.
Tsubasa took a breath, directing her gaze to the wall. “What did you mean, then?” she said softly, the effort to remain calm evident in her voice.
“Well, some of us step up, Tsubasa. We sacrifice to protect the rest of you… I sacrifice myself… to protect you.”
Tsubasa was silent for a moment, pursing her lips as she breathed slowly. Then, abruptly, she got up, poured herself a cup of tea, and drained it entirely.
“Hiruko, we’re all on the front lines. We’re all working to the bone here. We’re all “stepping up.” What you do is great, and we certainly wouldn’t be here without you, but all of us are chipping in more than we asked for.” She planted her cup perhaps a tad too forcefully next to the kettle. “Kako’s been spending hours practicing her aim. Yugamu has been pulling all-nighters dissecting invaders. I found Shouma - yes, Shouma! - training with Takemaru and Moko yesterday… guts and glory and all!”
Tsubasa took in a breath, looking slightly green, and continued anyway, her voice quieter. “You’re a heavy hitter, Hiruko. And I love you for that, and for everything else about you. But I’d like to think that… that I’m more to you than just a maiden to protect.”
And it was then that something shifted inside Hiruko - and with an inward wince she realized what she’d done wrong. She was so accustomed to seeing Tsubasa as the nerdy mechanic girl who fell in love with her, that she had to guard at any cost, rather than the incredible woman who cherished and protected Hiruko in return.
“Ohmygosh, I’m so sorry Hiruko… I didn’t mean to lose my temper at you…”
“No, it’s…” Why was this hard? She’d almost rather fight V’ehxness. “It seems I have… underestimated you. That is… an error on my part.”
Tsubasa took a second to process. “Hiruko,” she said finally, looking somewhat incredulous, “was that an apology?”
“Let’s not call it that.”
Before her tired muscles could react, Tsubasa had bounded over and wrapped her arms around Hiruko, her head coming to rest just under Hiruko’s chin. With another twinge of shame, it occurred to her that she still didn’t know how best to respond to Tsubasa’s affection… other than to just enjoy it when it happens.
“Hiruko, I love you… but you really stink.”
Hiruko sighed. “I deserve that, I suppose.”
Tsubasa giggled. “Yeah…”
And with Tsubasa’s gentle laughter, she could finally relax.