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1: Shorty with a temper
Chouji doesn’t consider himself a nosy person. Did he wingman Shikamaru and Temari into a date that ended horribly? Of course. But did it push them into each other’s arms? Absolutely. With Chouji being the mastermind behind it all, even though Shikamaru is the one people call a genius. The future head of the Akimichi clan is known for being kind-hearted, warm and encouraging. He and Lee are always the ones staying sober during the regular ‘Konoha twelve and spouses’ meetings. They are also the ones making sure everybody else makes it home safe. In a way, Chouji feels supportive of Lee, as he is currently - along with Shino and Kiba - a lonely bachelor among a group of paired-up friends. Lee deserves a wingman like Chouji, does he not?
"Chug! Chug! Chug!" echoes throughout the Izakaya, as Chouji empties a bottle of sake in one go. Unlike the light-weight shinobi around him—namely Ino, Sai, and Shikamaru—he won't get inebriated, as the greasy meat he keeps consuming helps with alcohol digestion. Sakura enthusiastically pats Chouji on the back and downs her own drink. Lee, of course, doesn't partake. But he's not alone in this. Hinata and Karui don’t drink either. After all, the news of the latter’s pregnancy is the pretext for the current celebration, and Hinata is far along herself.
"Hmmm, everyone is getting hitched left and right", Ino muses, feeling Sai's warm hand tentatively wrap around her waist. "And with Karui pregnant, we also have to get to work," she whispers in his ear, gently stroking his cheek.
"Oh, right, that reminds me", Sai smiles in a disturbing way, closing his eyes and leaning towards Shikamaru, who’s sitting across from him. "Have you explained everything to Temari-san?"
The man in question scratches his cheek with fingers pale and fidgety.
"I may have..." he chokes on his sake. "...skipped on explaining a few traditions here and there. Not to creep her out, you know?"
Chouji chuckles deeply.
"You do have to tell her, my friend. Better sooner than later."
“As soon as she’s back from Suna”, Shikamaru mutters into his glass, wincing.
“Speaking of love life”, Ino puts on her trademark sly grin and everybody knows there will be trouble. „How is yours, Lee?”
The man in person raises his eyes from his glass of water just to avert Ino’s gaze a second later. "I suppose I do have my most precious person. However, pursuing a relationship would be quite impossible, as I do not believe they reciprocate my feelings.”
Chouji smacks him on the back encouragingly. “It doesn’t sound like you confessed to them, though. How can you be sure?”
“Yeah!” Kiba presses a beer bottle against Lee’s chest. “You gotta tell her how you feel, maybe with some liquid courage?”
„NO!” Kiba’s suggestion raises a collective yell from everybody else in the booth and the bottle is swiftly taken away.
„Have you forgotten how destructive Lee gets with a drop of alcohol?” Shino retorts, with what might have been his first comment of the night.
“Yes, let’s keep the Izakaya not-ruined”, Shikamaru mumbles. “I’m not paying for any damages.”
"Back to the point!” Ino, meddlesome as usual, points at Lee. ”Tell us at least a little, tiny something!"
“Ummm, well.” Lee strokes his chin, pensive. “They are an extremely strong Shinobi. Even with a...how do I say that gently?” He hesitates. “M-meager posture”.
Naruto snorts, "Oh, so a shorty with a temper? Nice." He immediately gets smacked into a vital point on the side of his torso by a frustrated Hinata, whose pregnancy has been hard on her lately. "He hasn't said anything about a temper", she huffs.
"Don't worry Hina, I’m just projecting. I love my shorty with a temper", he wheezes out, cracking a huge smile. Lee uses the laughter and commotion that erupts to excuse himself from the scene, mentioning the importance of an early morning workout.
There is a silent agreement between the Konoha twelve to find out everything about this mysterious someone.
2: Influential
Sakura doesn’t consider herself a nosy person. She believes she’s protective of her friends. And if working at the hospital means listening to her patients come up with multiple ridiculous excuses on how an elongated object got stuck in their private parts, she never shares that with anyone. And when she pries into Lee’s love life, it’s obviously out of concern, not meddlesomeness. Konoha breeds strong kunoichi, who have to be resolute, sly and supportive of each other. But their weekly hang-outs don’t necessarily revolve around the politics of war or espionage techniques. Far from it. Hinata is off fulfilling clan duties, but Temari has just come back from a trip to Suna, so all the other kunoichi feel a sense of obligation to fill her in on the gossip.
“Say, Sakura, who do you think Lee is in love with?” Karui asks, polishing her weapons while watching Ino tend to the Konohan lotus.
“I sure hope it’s not you anymore.” Ino grumbles and Karui tilts her head questioningly.
“Aah, he did have a crush on me when we were little, but it’s been a decade.” She gazes at her bare, ring-less fingers, abashed. „I’m sure it has long passed. Sasuke isn’t here often, but when he visits...” She bites her lip. “He is trying to make amends. We’re doing okay.”
“Speaking of ‘okay’, what has gotten your panties in a twist?”
Temari, previously focused on angrily closing and unfurling her fan to check for damages, now raises her head to meet Ino’s gaze.
“Just...thinking about stuff.” She unfurls her fan.
“Hmm, very specific, Temari-san.” Karui raises a red brow as the princess of Suna closes her fan.
“Why are you guys...” – Temari unfurls – “..so invasive about Rock Lee anyway?” - and closes her fan.
Sakura sputters. “I'm just looking out for our friend. Ino-pig loves drama!” She yells out, as the bell above the door chimes.
Speak of the devil.
Lee bursts into the shop like he does everything else - enthusiastically and loudly. Guilt flashes in Sakura's gut. Lee’s smile is infectious and directed towards each and every one of them. And they’ve just been gossiping about him!
“You’re a bad friend, idiot!” Inner Sakura yells.
“What can I help you with, Lee?” Ino is all smiles and perfect customer service but her eyes have a dangerous glint in them.
Lee still hasn’t realised he entered the Lioness’ den. “I have received a gift I wish to cherish properly”, he proclaims with usual Lee-like fervor. Temari keeps greasing her fan with increasing dedication.
“Aaah, a gift from your lover?” Karui is not even pretending to be subtle.
“Karui, idiot, I’m investigating here!” Ino thinks.
“Karui, he’s a friend, leave him alone!” Sakura thinks.
“Though I also want to know.” Inner Sakura thinks.
Temari keeps greasing her fan.
“Lover? No, no. Just uhh-just a friend.”
The vial of grease slips from Temari’s hands.
Ino scoffs and sighs. “Seeds from the Kazekage again?”
The vial of grease tumbles away from Temari. Lee plucks a small jute sack from his pocket.
“Correct!” He smiles blindingly, Ino’s displeasure going absolutely over his bowlcut.
“What is it this time?” Ino rips the seed packet from his hands and looks for the attached note. There’s always a note. Meticulously written, with neat letters, practiced by writing pages and pages of decrees and legislations. And the advice on how to take care of the flower is always - to Ino’s annoyance - correct.
“A desert rose.”
Temari trips, trying to pick the vial where it rolled, three meters away from the fan. Sakura kneels down to grab it, confused, and passes it to Temari. She then sits next to her to help with the weapon maintenance. The goal for today is to be a good friend and help others.
“I need a pot of a specific diameter and a fast-draining soil formula. That is what the description says.”
“It sure does”, Ino clicks her teeth. As she looks for a bag of soil, Lee asks for a Konohan flower that would survive harsh Sunan conditions.
"Whoa, that’s a lot of free favors”, Ino mentions slyly.
“Of course! How could I be so rude! What is the price of your expertise, Ino-san?” Lee stammers, not wanting to be seen as a bad friend who doesn't support his friend’s business.
“Don't worry about the money. I accept payment in the form of intel.”
“Yeah, the whole ‘shorter than me’ thing is unhelpful. You’re a beanpole, boy.”
Sakura agrees with Karui. “Yeah, it doesn't narrow down much.”
“You said you weren't into gossip?” Temari huffs, as she resumes greasing the fan.
The medi-nin sputters. “I'm just looking out for our friend, what if his crush is a bad person?!”
“I assure you, my most precious person is noble and kind!” He throws a quick, shy look towards where Sakura and Temari sit. This does not go unnoticed by the florist. “They are quite influential and take care of many lives.”
As he pays for the soil and pot, the door bell chimes again.
Miss Kiyoko enters the shop, much to Ino’s dismay. She’s a difficult customer. An old, mean hag, if you ask Karui. But she leaves a lot of money every time, so Ino makes the girls and Lee scram.
But just before that. As Temari’s eyes drill holes into the back of Lee’s head, Ino’s, Sakura’s and Karui’s gazes meet.
“Someone important.”
3: Eyes bright and striking
Kiba and Shino don’t consider themselves nosy people. At least not in the sense of prying into their friends’ love lives. No, no, it’s strictly professional shinobi business. They both specialise in sensory nin-work, after all. Kiba and Akamaru go by scent, while Shino utilises his insects' mating habits. But as they traversed through the Konohan forests with Lee on a three-man-mission to hunt down a pair of dangerous nuke-nin, they couldn't help but wonder...
Mission gets completed, and as they're setting up camp, the perfect opportunity arises.
„How are Neji and Tenten?” Kiba asks, casually, cracking the joints in his shoulders. „Man, I wish I went to some fancy onsen for a week or two.”
„A honeymoon trip must be nice.” Shino nods along absentmindedly, focusing on preparing his sleeping spot, as it is now Lee’s turn to stand guard. The man in question is currently on his seventy-ninth out of two thousand push-ups, a well-tested method of keeping himself awake.
„If I recall correctly – eighty - they should have – eighty one - reached the Village – eighty two - Hidden by the Waterfall – eighty three - by now. – eighty four - If everything goes – eighty five - according to the plan, - eighty six - they might come back – eighty seven - in time for the festival of fire!”
Lee misses his friends dearly, but he’s happy for them. Regardless of what the stuck-up Hyuuga elders believe in, Tenten and Neji deserve to be happy and together. Apparently, Kiba arrived to the exact same conclusions.
“Ahh, what better way to spite a bunch of cruel old fucks than eloping and vacationing in a cool place.” Inuzuka wasn’t one to mince his words and Lee couldn’t disagree, although he cringes at his teammate’s crudeness.
Kiba lays down with his head on Akamaru's belly, still keeping an eye on Lee. He knows Shino hasn’t fallen asleep yet either. As fate has it, the three of them are the last eligible bachelors among the Konoha twelve and Kiba isn’t one to be bested. His on and off thing with Tamaki is complicated, and his off and on thing with Kankurou (never overlapping, because Kiba is honorable and treats his partners with dignity) is even more complicated.
“Say, Lee. Are you planning on confessing to your crush?” he asks, totally casually. No ulterior motives attached.
“It is embarrassing how everybody keeps asking me about them.” the green beast sighs, taking a break to stretch his limbs in between workout sessions. “Honestly, I have considered writing them a poem, perhaps a love letter. But I am not sure how to convey my feelings properly.”
“What do you like the most about them?” echoes from inside Shino’s sleeping bag.
“Oh, It is impossible to pick one thing.” Lee answers with an un-Lee-like softness. „But if I truly had to choose, then perhaps the intensity of their gaze?” He falls into a reverie. “Their eyes are bright and striking.”
Kiba sits up abruptly, putting Akamaru on high alert and making him let out a quiet growl.
“I’m sorry, buddy.” He scratches the ninken under the chin, where he likes it the most. “Lee, it isn’t Hinata, is it? She is literally pregnant with our friend’s kid. That would be bad.”
Lee’s eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets. “Absolutely not! H-how did u come up to this conclusion?”
Shino lowers the top of his sleeping bag a notch. His eyes are still covered by glasses for some reason, but Lee knows he is being stared at. “What’s wrong with our Hinata?” The green beast of Konoha wants to be anywhere but here. “N-nothing!” He clutches his vest. “Hinata-san has beautiful eyes, but she is not my precious person!”
Shino, Kiba and Akamaru exchange knowing looks as Lee resumes his training.
„It’s Hanabi, then.”
„It’s absolutely Hana-chan!”
„Woof!!!”
4. Good in red
Temari doesn’t consider herself a nosy person. Her governess and diplomacy teacher always said that gossip is unbecoming of a lady. Granny Fatima was - frankly - a mean old hag, hardened by Suna. Or perhaps hardened specifically by her allegiance to the Kazekage family. Undeniably old enough to have raised that piece of bones Rasa himself. And she probably did.
Raising Temari and Kankurou had not been an easy task either. And Gaara...his aides and teachers were always chosen solely by their father. Temari could only assume that they were recruited based on their combat skills and ability to handle Gaara's effectively murderous sand jutsus, rather than their talent in diplomacy, mathematics, classical Sunan dances or knowledge of the traditions and customs of the surrounding villages.
As for now, all the rules and manners are flying out the window, because Temari is a woman on a mission. Her emotionally stunted brother’s object of affections is interested in somebody, and as an older sister, it’s Temari’s duty to take care of this mess. Not because she loves gossip, no no. Absolutely not. It really is inappropriate for a diplomatic envoy. She has to make sure her baby brother’s heart doesn't get broken into pieces. And Gaara’s last gift towards Lee went completely over his head. The desert rose? In Sunan culture that’s practically a confession of undying love! And it didn’t get through Rock Lee’s dumb skull! Plus, her stupid idiot of a brother refuses to do anything more straightforward than this. That’s her only reason for interfering.
Currently, she’s sitting at a Yakiniku Bar, along with her damned husband and their damned friends. As Chouji and Karui inhale an ungodly amount of grilled meat, Sai and Ino keep whispering to each other, and their conspiring is unnerving.
„We are the only normal couple here”, the Naras think.
Obviously, clan discussions get completely derailed and the subject of Lee gets brought up again.
“So…” Karui bites into her beef skewer. “What do we know exactly?”
“Short, strong, holds some sort of a high position in society, has intense, striking eyes...” Shikamaru lists off.
“...And looks hot in red!” Ino yells triumphantly, causing the other Izakaya patrons to look over at their table with concern.
“Wait, how do you know?” Temari feigns indifference, grabbing her husband’s hand under the table to calm herself. Shikamaru is well aware of his brother-in-law’s infatuation with a certain leaf-nin. He has heard more about it than he ever wanted, admittedly. His marriage to Temari has already been a political nightmare. But for the Kazekage potentially whishing to marry outside of wind country? Absolutely troublesome.
“I intercepted a love letter.”
Everybody looks at Sai with various levels of horror. Aside from Ino. Her eyes only glint with pride.
“What do you mean ‘intercepted’?” - Chouji and Karui ask simultaneously.
“It means he broke into Lee’s apartment during his early morning training and stole whatever was on his desk.” Ino is positively gloating now.
“It was more of an unfinished poem. Not very well written, really” Sai explains, as if he was describing the current weather. “Flowery, without much structure or essence. Mentioned ‘drowning in his lover’s bright eyes’, and also ‘admiring his loved one’s red robes, which he would much rather take off of them’, to be specific.” He concludes that confession with a sharp stab to a piece of meat.
Temari chokes on her drink and Shikamaru rushes in to pat her back gently. She yells at him for being too coddling and between bouts of cough demands he hit her harder under the shoulder blades.
Ino kisses Sai's jaw, proud of his shit-stirring abilities. „By the way, I’m pregnant”, she giggles.
Shikamaru starts violently choking on his own spit, as well.
“We are the only normal couple here”, the Akimichis think.
.
.
.
As the Naras leave the restaurant, Shikamaru decides to finally broach the touchy subject.
“Uhh, Temari?”, he scratches the back of his neck timidly. “Please don't get mad.
“Why.” She raises one neat brow.
“Because there is a small problem.”
“Problem?” her lips curl into a small snarl, though more playful than cruel. “We have been married for a year and you still haven't learned that asking a woman not to get mad will definitely make her mad?”. The low but calm tone of her voice makes Shikamaru cower slightly.
“Y-you see, Karui is pregnant, Ino as well...” he stammers.
“And? Are you responsible?”
“Gods, no, Temari, I'd never-” she laughs. “I know I know, I'm just messing with you!”
Her laugh never stops mesmerizing him. The way her eyes crinkle and close as she hides a giggle behind an open palm is absolutely captivating
“We spend some time together on a regular basis, but I'm not as friendly with Karui-san and Ino-san as I would like to be. I'll make sure to support them more during their pregnancies.” She claims, like the perfect diplomat she is. “But why would that be a problem?” there’s a slightly mischievous lilt to her voice.
Shikamaru stops their stroll and grabs his wife’s hands.
“Temari, seriously. I might have majorly fucked up. Things just slipped my mind, I focused on my role as the advisor to the Hokage, then we got married and I-”
”Shikamaru, stop rambling.” She presses their joined hands lightly to his chest and smirks. „Your mother discussed this specific...” she smirks - ”...tradition with me, a whole month before you even proposed.
Intense waves of embarrassment and relief wash over him simultaneously.
“Oh. So you know we have to...you know.”
“Yup.”
“As soon as possible to catch up with the others.”
“Yup.”
“And you’re fine with it.”
“Absolutely.” She downright gloats.
“Goo”- he coughs - “That’s good. I need to smoke.”
“You will have to stop that, you know? When the baby comes.”
“I know. I'm enjoying it while I can.” They smile softly at each other.
„Now that it’s over with, want to talk about Gaara?” Shikamaru asks, playing with his lighter.
She huffs. “Nothing goes past you, does it?”
“You’re concerned that Lee is interested in somebody else.” It wasn’t a question.
“My, my, the marriage changed you.” She sighs. “You’re not as dense and emotionally constipated as you used to be. Anyway, on the matter of Gaara, is the Konohan council ready for the Sunan delegation's visit?
Shikamaru, knowing his wife well, chooses to accept the obvious change of topic.
“Yes, everything is going according to schedule.”
“Then it seems we have some time to…you know”, she smirks, “…fulfill the Inoshikacho responsibility."
Shikamaru snakes an arm around his wife’s waist as they keep strolling. “Right, everything for the clan.”
5. Big forehead
Hinata doesn't consider herself a nosy person. She is no longer the timid, shy girl who felt powerless against her peers. She is in fact trying to be a brave, responsible woman, worthy of becoming the matron to the Uzumaki clan. She’s come a long way. After Hiashi sacrificed his life for both her and Neji, taking one of Ten-Tails's projectiles to the chest, Hinata supported Hanabi in taking over the Hyuuga clan. It’s not all roses and sunshine though. Merging the family tree and dismantling the system isn’t easy. The clan is still full of elders willing to torment, brand and seal the branch kids just for existing. But it seems like, at his last moment, Hiashi wanted to make his brother proud. And that’s why Hinata decided to grow up, to come out of her shell and interfere. To talk the elders out of certain ideas and into new ones. And to groom Hanabi into a clan head who will make Konoha a better place for Neji.
But sometimes, a woman simply has to take a break from clan duties and just celebrate life. Go out with her sister, try some cute red yukatas on, pick the perfect outfit. Right now, everybody is getting ready for the annual Festival of Fire. Some Konohans care more than others, though. It’s predominantly a couples holiday, afterall.
So when, instead of donning his trusted everyday jumpsuit for the occasion, Rock Lee enters a seamstress’ establishment, Hinata’s and Hanabi’s eyes bulge out of their sockets.Their eyes grow even wider when the shopkeeper smiles at him enthusiastically and pulls a big protective cover from under the counter.
“Here’s the finished garment, Lee-san”, she chirps. Would you like to try it on now?” She unzips the cover.
The yukata is not red as per custom, but deep green, darker than Lee’s signature colour, and subtly embroidered with golden lotuses. A work of art that must have cost a good chunk of the jounin’s salary.
As Lee enters the changing room, Hanabi leans towards Hinata and whispers.
“He really is peculiar, isn't he?”
“What do you mean?”
“Several months ago, I was practicing my trigrams alone at the training grounds, and I tripped. Lee-san saw me. He approached me and I received a long spiel about the importance of rest, nutrition and basic katas.”
“You overtrained again”, Hinata huffs.
“That’s beside the point!” Their hushed tones aren’t so hushed anymore. “My point is, he helped so much and I don’t even know him that well. Why is he so nice? Is it because of Neji? Or does he have some ulterior motives towards the clan?”
Hinata lays a hand on her sister’s shoulder. “It’s good to be diligent and suspicious, dear. But Lee is simply a kind-hearted person.” She doesn’t quite believe her own words, though, as something dangerous stirs in her belly.
“Oh no, Lee is in love with Hanabi.” She thinks, as the man in question exits the fitting room.
Only then does she take a proper look at him to look for any more clues. The head of the Hyuuga clan does so too, still slightly suspicious.
“Am I being seduced by Rock Lee of all people?”
Lee approaches them, bashfully, not used to moving in such garments and the seamstress tuts around him, tying his obi tighter and smoothing down wrinkled fabric.
“Hinata-san, Hanabi-san, do you think I should put the hitai ate under my fringe? It will not fit over my belt, but I would feel…” - he hesitates, catching the way the Hyuugas’ eyes are glued on him - ”...a bit naked without it.”
Right now he feels self-conscious to the point of nakedness under their curious gaze.
Lee’s straight, black locks are now long enough to sit against his firm back in a meticulous, clean braid. „Do you think I should cut my hair?” He asks, pink in the face. “I have been experimenting, as one should in the springtime of their youth! Should I change anything else? Cut my fringe perhaps? Kids used to mock it when I was little. I do not really care about what others think of my appearance anymore, but lately I have been thinking…” Hinata gives him a slightly strained smile and raises her palms to quench his rambling. “You look wonderful, Lee. But rash decisions regarding hair is the worst thing you can do when you have a crush on someone.”
“That is right!” Lee is getting redder by the minute, averting the Hyuuga’s eyes. “I am sure my most precious person would not be too thrilled if I worried myself over such trivial things. I would never want them to think I am shallow and overly concerned with appearances. Their forehead is…” He contemplates over that sentence for a while ”...rather prominent, after all.”
The sisters keep bobbing their heads unwittingly as Lee prattles on.
“Ah, I'm sorry but I really have to go, I have a pushup competition scheduled with Gai-sensei and being late is unacceptable!” He bows to them, then to the seamstress, then slips into the changing room, strips out of the garment, throws his jumpsuit on, pays for the yukata and leaves, all while the Hyuuga sisters undergo serious inner turmoil.
As the doors close behind him, they both release a breath they didn’t know they held.
Hinata steals a glance at her little sister and squints. "I've never noticed. Is Hana's forehead enormous?"
Hanabi nervously musses up the loose strands falling over her face and asks her older sister, wide eyed and in despair. "Sis, be honest. Is my forehead enormous?!"
.
.
.
Hanabi obviously confides in Konohamaru, who discusses it with Moegi, and two days later, instead of tending to flower arrangements in the Yamanaka shop, Ino is angrily biting into her shimeji shrooms as she and Sakura go over all the information they now possess.
„Ino-pig!” Sakura, already inebriated, gives her friend a bone-cracking slap on the shoulder. „Do you know the saying '’don't trust a bald man cause he might be a ginger’?”
Ino guffaws.
„Hey, watch it. That's super insulting to my mother!” Their somewhat random companion slurs, barely raising his head from a bowl still full of ramen. The nori leaf has already soaked through and went unpleasantly mushy. As mushy as his entire body, when Sakura quickly presses a skilled hand into the pressure point on his back, guiding his face right back into the bowl.
„Don't interrupt, Naruto! Ino, you get me? Nothing is what it seems. We have to focus on people whose foreheads we haven't seen.” She commands, with a glint in her eye. Ino swishes her ponytail aside to avoid droplets of the broth Naruto keeps spilling around himself at this point.
„Genma-sensei? His forehead is always hidden but it seems quite big, don't you think?” She scratches her chin in contempt.
„Lee wouldn't date an older dude. That's not very springtimey of the youthey or whatever” Naruto mutters into the bowl.
„Besides, isn't Genma-sensei like...good friends with Gai-sensei?” Sakura muses, between bites of chashu. „And Gai-sensei is pretty much a father figure to Lee.”
„That would be gross.” Ino scrunches her nose.
„Very gross.” Sakura nods.
„Believe it.” rumbles the ramen bowl.
Everybody at the table shudders, silently vowing to never suggest that again.
But inside ino's mind, a dam breaks. She goes over the list of random clues in her head.
„Bright eyes...prominent forehead...short…influential…...super strong...looks good in red.”
Oh no. Their dear friend is still in love with Sakura, after all these years. No one must know.
Naturally, about a week later, Sakura is still kept in the dark, but almost everybody else knows.
+1
Gaara doesn’t consider himself a nosy person. The Konohan Festival of Fire is loud, raucous, there's plenty of good food and music. “It's a perfect opportunity to strengthen the relationship between hidden villages”, he tells himself, as he nervously loosens the collar of his carefully crafted caftan, glad that he was able to skip the Kage robes for a day. Yes, the relationship between villages. That is all there is to it. If Temari’s angry scrawl reached him via family-crested scroll attached to his messenger hawk, motioning him to ‘fucking do something already’, that’s a pure coincidence.
He is now sitting with a drunk Kankuro to his left and an equally drunk Naruto to his right. Most of his friends from Konoha are here, at the long table, talking loudly. Sakura - to whom Gaara is forever grateful for saving Kankuro's life - is nowhere to be seen. Sasuke, the person the Kazekage still doesn't trust fully, no matter how much Naruto wants him to, is also missing. Although that's nothing unusual. Somebody mentioned the two slipping into the woods, but Gaara doesn’t care enough to take notice.
None of these things matter, because right now Lee is sitting right across from Gaara. Lee. In a yukata, well fitted at the beginning of the evening, now slightly loose over his chest, white cotton undercloth peeking out. Lee with a long dark braid of hair sitting over his shoulder, strands falling into his bowl of ramen as he tells Gaara a story the Kazekage heard four times already. A story he would love to hear for the fifth time, really. In fact, Lee included that story in one of the letters Gaara keeps carefully stashed in a discreetly hidden drawer of his work desk.
He keeps rereading those when his day is particularly grueling and full of meddling, complaining council members. It's difficult not to have one's thoughts completely overtaken by Rock Lee, he believes. How could they not be, when his eyes glint like that, and his hand is so warm on Gaara’s shoulder when he leans in from time to time to ask if the ruckus around them isn’t too much for the Kazekage’s liking.
But the animated story about a squirrel gets interrupted by a woman, seemingly a couple years younger than most of them, as she taps Lee's shoulder. She is...visibly drunk, Gaara can tell. All red in the face and slightly wobbly. In the corner of his eye Gaara notices Hinata trying to intervene, but before she can lift her heavily pregnant body from the stool and waddle towards her younger sister, Hanabi bows. To Lee. In front of everyone.
„I'm sorry but I cannot reciprocate your feelings! I'm very flattered, and you're a great Shinobi, but I'm in love with somebody else! She yells towards the ground, upper body still bent at ninety degrees. In fact, she looks like she is about to vomit from the mixture of embarrassment, alcohol and body tilt.
Silence sweeps over the izakaya.
“Stupid woman, go home before you barf all over yourself”, the grumbling that cuts the silence comes from a young man Gaara recognises as the third Hokage’s grandson. Konohamaru drags Hanabi away by the wrist, flashing everyone but Lee a sort of apologetic grimace. When he looks at Lee, something completely different flashes in his eyes. Gaara is familiar with that feeling. That painful combination of hurt and longing. Jealousy. The youngsters leave, with Hanabi babbling into Konohamaru’s chest about unrequited love. Whose? Gaara isn’t sure.
"What the fuck was that?" asked from his left brings him out of this reverie.
“Total nonsense.” Karui nods. “Our communication is too slow and inefficient. Has nobody filled team eight in on the new info?”
“What new info?” asks Sakura, who has just approached the group, late to the party and happily grinning, with a ring glistening on her finger.
“That bushy brows is in love with you, not Hanabi-chan.” Naruto grins. And that’s what everybody is thinking but no one dared to say, really.
“What?” Lee is the one to raise his voice this time. He looks pale, like he wants to chug the bottle of sake sitting on the table, all by himself. Or drown in it and die. Or bash Naruto with it. His eyes wander everywhere but Gaara's face and the Kazekage feels it sting.
Sakura grasps Lee's hands in her own. “Poor Lee, have you been waiting for me?” He just stands there, stunned.
“B-uh?” Lee only stammers.
Gaara, trying very hard not to cause a political scandal as the leader of a foreign village, has half a mind not to sneer in disdain. “Lee is too kind and virtuous to be reduced simply to somebody to ‘settle with’.”
“He is not a consolation prize. Frankly, nobody deserves him”, he catches himself thinking.
“Winds know you don't” rings in his head, in Shukaku’s ugly screech, even though he hasn’t inhabited Gaara’s mind in a decade.
The Kazekage stands up abruptly. „Excuse me, the Sunan delegation has to cut this event short. The Festival is beautiful,” he grinds out through his teeth, „but we still have to hold meetings with the Hokage in the morning. We need to get some sleep and sober up. As do you, Naruto.”
„Oi, Gaara, there's still plenty of t-Aah” - Kankuro folds in half over the table as Temari's heel presses onto his toes.
Gaara whooshes out of the room with his sand transportation jutsu. „Maaan, warn a guy!” Naruto, the closest innocent bystander, coughs on its particles.
Lee finally rips his hands out of Sakura’s and hides his face in them, and at that very moment the newly wed Hyuugas approach the Konoha twelve table, just having returned from their honeymoon, barely in time for the festival.
They scan the faces of all their friends, ranging from sad to confused and Neji frowns at Naruto, still spitting on sand swirling in the air. Tenten zeroes in on Lee, who looks like he is about to cry.
“Oh, Lee...” Tenten starts off, overtaken with pity. “Did the Kazekage reject you?”
.
.
.
A collective breath is held in the room as eyes widen, mouths falling open in unison, The Naras and Kankurou being the only ones to breathe out in relief.
“I…do not know?” Lee whispers, making an effort to make himself as small as possible, fingernails digging into his thighs, eyes glistening with rapidly forming tears. “First my favourite poem draft went missing, and then Hanabi-san…and then Sakura…” he babbles. “And then I did not even get to ask him.”
“Fuck me.” Kankurou smirks into his beer. “That fixes all my problems. The shrimp is probably in the hotel they placed us in. Going all gloomy and shit.” He shoves Lee on the shoulder, not lightly. “I’m fuckin’ tired of listening to the brat prattle on about you.”
“What my brother meant”, Temari adds, smiling encouragingly as she hits Kankurou with her purse, “is that you should go after him. You have the siblings’ blessing.” She makes a ‘shoo, scram’ gesture with her hands.
“Yeah, go get him, tiger,” Kankurou barks a laugh. “Just don’t be gross about it, I’m planning to return to the hotel later.”
A muted “No, you are not” comes from the corner of their booth. Tomorrow, Kiba will ask Akamaru to chew on Shino’s favourite shoes for that comment.
In the meantime, Lee wipes off his tears, bows to Temari and Kankurou, takes his ankle weights off and runs.
.
.
.
The moment he’s gone, Tenten slams her hands on the long table angrily.
„What is wrong with you, guys? A girl can't take a two week honeymoon without you all causing problems?”
”What problems? We thought Lee had been stringing poor little Hanabi along while pining over Sakura. Sly dog!” Naruto chuckles nervously.
”He wouldn’t-”, Tenten bites her tongue and presses the balls of her palms against her eyes. Neji lays a calming hand on her shoulder and squeezes just the right spot, but he himself is far from calm. Veins are aggressively bulging from his temples and it's not the Byakugan, he is just royally pissed.
”Explain. All of you.” He levels the entire table with a mean glare. “The whole thought process of your tiny bird brains.”
Yelling ensues.
.
.
.
“So then Lee said, ‘short but strong’, right?”, Naruto howls.
“He said ‘influential’, too!”, Kiba adds, even louder. “We thought that obviously means the heiress of the Hyuuga clan!”
Karui smacks him on the head, irritated. “And we thought of the headmistress of the damned hospital.”
“Hanabi is way shorter than me”, Sakura scowls, but it gets disregarded.
Chouji huffs and takes both of Karui’s palms into his own in a placating gesture. “To be fair, the ‘good in red’ clue was pretty unlucky during the Festival of Fire.”
“Oh, but striking eyes!” Sakura injects herself back into the discussion. “Couldn’t have been me”, she tries to rationalize. “We thought it was the Hyuuga kekkei genkai!”
„Wrong”, Sai shuts her down quickly. “I stole another poem last night and it mentioned ‘drowning in seafoam eyes’. Not lavender. Could have been you.” He says, confessing to another misdemeanor absolutely unapologetically.
“And a-” Ino slams her fist against Sai’s chest, proud of his criminal activities, “-big ass forehead!”
„Sakura”, Everybody nods solemnly. Sai gasps for air with major effort. Sakura scowls even harder.
„Aah, that is a fair assumption. Seems to be a piece of information we missed”, Shino sighs.
Kiba scratches his head, abashed. “We did kind of...encourage Hana-chan to let Lee down gently but firmly. Didn't tell her to get piss drunk beforehand though!” Akamaru barks in agreement.
“So,” Hinata muses “…the Kazekage?”
Karui sighs, dejected. “Now it all makes perfect sense.”
Temari leans her head on Shikamaru's shoulder and he smirks like he knew Gaara and Lee's affections were mutual all along. He absolutely didn't.
The izakaya booth is silent for a moment, until Ino breaks down.
.
.
.
„Short!” she mutters, angrily, banging her fist on the table. “I can’t believe I didn’t figure it out. Short!”
Kankuro frowns. „Oh, that's just fucking rude, guys. Gaara was a premie.”