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Lightning flashed.
Thunder rolled.
Windows rattled.
And Vi sobbed.
It had all come rushing in during her dreams.
Stillwater. Her family. Ash. Blood.
Everything that had been taken from her.
She tried to be quiet, to not bother Cait. She didn’t need to deal with her breaking apart. Vi didn’t want to be a burden. She was the one who took care of people, the one who held it all together.
She would be okay…
She would…
She…
Vi’s breath hitched, her shoulders shaking as she tried to keep it all in. The more she fought it, the harder it came. Tears burned hot down her cheeks, silent but endless. She pressed her fists against her eyes like she could force the weakness back inside, lock it up where it belonged.
She should probably have left the bed, but she was paralyzed. Vi didn’t want to leave Cait’s side, but she also didn’t want to wake her. So she stayed there, frozen and stuck. In a cell of her own making, unable to escape the past.
Only a few seconds passed before what she dreaded came true.
Beside her, she felt Cait shift. Vi tried to stay still, to pretend to be asleep, but her body betrayed her, lungs stuttering as she drew in a shaky breath.
Cait’s hand settled on her shoulder, light as snowfall, and she whispered, “Violet?”
The sound of her name, soft and careful, cracked something in Vi. She wanted to answer, to tell her she was fine, that it was nothing, but the words wouldn’t come. Her throat was thick with tears, her body trembling under Cait’s touch.
“Vi.” Cait shifted closer, warmth pressing into Vi’s back.
Vi squeezed her eyes shut, shame twisting like a knife in her gut. She hated this. Hated being weak. Hated needing. She was supposed to be the strong one, the unshakable one. Not… this.
Cait whispered, “What’s wrong? Can you look at me? Please?”
Vi rolled over to face her. She must’ve looked horrible—red-rimmed eyes, wet cheeks, a mess barely holding herself together. But all she saw in Cait’s face was love and care, like it was the easiest thing in the world.
Cait cupped her cheek, thumb brushing away the dampness there. “It’s okay, I’m right here.”
Vi sniffled, chest heaving, throat tight as if every breath was a fight. She wanted to speak, to explain, but all that came out was a choked little sound. Cait didn’t press her for words. She just pulled Vi against her, until Vi was tucked into her arms and tangled in her legs.
That's when the dam broke.
Vi clutched at Cait’s shirt, desperate, burying her face into the crook of her neck. The sobs came hot and ugly, shaking her whole body. She hated it, hated that Cait had to see her like this, hated that she couldn’t stop. But Cait just held her, steady as ever, rubbing slow circles between Vi’s shoulder blades.
“I’ve got you,” Cait whispered into her hair.
Vi tried to speak again, but broke as soon as her mouth opened.
Cait shushed her gently. “Just let it out. I’ll keep you together.”
Vi shuddered and clung tighter, fists knotted in Cait’s shirt like she might vanish if she let go. The storm outside cracked open again, thunder splitting the night sky. Vi flinched, whole body seizing, but Cait’s hand only pressed firmer against her back.
“Shh… I’ve got you,” Cait soothed. “You’re safe. It’s alright.”
Her fingers combed slowly through Vi’s tangled hair. She kept making those soft sounds—half whispers, half hums—like she could drown out the storm and the ghosts clawing inside Vi’s chest.
Vi’s sobs tore through her in waves, each one leaving her smaller, emptier. She wanted to apologize, to say she was sorry for being like this, for being broken. But Cait wouldn’t let her speak. Wouldn’t let her fall apart alone.
And little by little, Vi felt her breathing match Cait’s.
Cait whispered, “I won’t let anything hurt you. You’re safe. You’re mine.”
The words sank deep, deeper than Vi wanted to admit. She squeezed her eyes shut, fresh tears stinging, because gods, she wanted to believe that. To let those words be true. To let herself belong, even for a breath.
Her voice was wrecked, raw, when she managed to croak, “I don’t… I don’t deserve you.” The truth bled out before she could stop it. “I’m a mess, Cait. I don’t know how to—” Her words cracked, breaking apart in her throat.
Cait hushed her again, thumb brushing slow along her jaw. “You don’t have to know how. You don’t have to be anything but you.”
Vi didn’t know what to say to that, didn’t know how to be accepted like that, but she tried. She let herself relax in Cait’s embrace. First her hand, then up her arm and across her shoulders, until eventually her whole body gave in. The tension that had wound her tight as steel cables began to unspool, thread by thread, as if Cait’s warmth seeped into all the cracks she’d been holding shut.
She melted into Cait completely. Buried her face in the curve of her neck, breathed in that soft scent that was always Cait.
Vi did what she never did, she let herself be taken care of.
Cait’s arms tightened around her, protective but never smothering.
It was so nice to be held. So simple, but so good.
Vi tilted her head, pressed her ear to Cait’s chest, and listened to the badum, badum, badum of her heart. She closed her eyes, letting that sound anchor her, letting it drown out the pain.
Then she felt Cait’s lips pressing a kiss against her temple. Gentle as rain.
The world outside raged, lightning flashing white through the curtains, thunder cracking hard enough to rattle the glass. But Vi hardly heard it. Not anymore. All she heard was Cait’s heartbeat, all she felt was Cait’s arms around her, solid and warm and real.
She was drifting… drifting… carried on that rhythm like a tide pulling her away from the beach. And just before sleep claimed her, Vi thought she felt Cait whisper something against her hair. Words too soft to catch. A promise, maybe.
A vow.
She let it carry her down into the dark.