Work Text:
Year 2002
Eighteen years earlier. Summer in Lallybroch. Jamie is twelve, and Claire is (almost) sixteen years old.
Jamie and his whole family were in the living room watching a movie. This was right after they ate their supper. His parents and his siblings settled on their favorite spot. Him on the carpet floor in front of the long sofa where his parents and his sister Jenny were seated. Their dog, Bruno, a greyhound, was lying beside him, his head on his lap. His older brother William was sitting in the armchair.
It was their family's Sunday night routine. It was Jamie’s favorite day. His Ma and Da allow them to play and laze around on Sunday, and since it was summer, they even allow them to stay late. But on Monday morning, they will start their week by working on their estates; kids like him are no excuse.
He likes working on their farm alongside his Da and his big brother. He and William were taught how to plant potatoes and other fruits and vegetables. They learned how to take care of the animals and even ride a horse.
Each sibling has their own horse.
Fraser’s family was well-off. They own an estate with a castle-like house built in the 17th century, surrounded by vast land filled with trees, creeks, and a winery.
The movie they showed that Sunday was a chick flick movie. Since Jamie was a boy and as the youngest, he could not complain, so there was no choice but to sit there and watch.
His mind was elsewhere. He was watching but not totally seeing until the young actress appears on the screen. She was so beautiful. He thought he saw an angel. Her eyes are the color of gold, the most beautiful eyes he has ever seen. He did not understand what was happening to him, to his heart. It started to beat faster than normal. He could not tear his eyes off the tv. He was mesmerized by the beauty that was on the screen.
He did not sleep that night. He was thinking about the angel on their TV. He was going to find her. Finally, at twelve years old, Jamie Fraser found his first crush.
~~00~~
Year 2009
Eleven years earlier. Winter in Paris, Jamie is nineteen, Claire is twenty-three.
Jamie walked through the cobblestones in the small, narrow street in Paris. It was his second year in the city. He was in Paris for college. At nineteen, it was his first time going on a date. He met Annalise a few months back at the University. He was well built and so handsome for his age. With his thick red curly hair and his eyes so blue, many girls from school wants to get his attention. Annalise was one of them. She was persistent, always asking him to go for coffee, hang out in the bar, or invite him to her apartment, which he declined each time. He did not want to date, and he did not even like to have a girlfriend. His mind was focused on his studies. To finish school so he could go back to Lallybroch and work with his father.
The other day, while Jamie was walking home, he passed by the cinema, and he saw the poster and his heart skipped. The girl from the chick flick movie was his crush. He read the name that was written in the upper center of the poster, “Claire Beauchamp”. He walked closer to the poster to take a good look at her face. My god, she is the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, he thought.
Now, standing at the front of the cinema waiting for Annalise, his eyes glued to her face. He looked at the guy with Claire. He looked too old for her. Though he was guessing they were actors, so it did not matter. No one else matters except her.
He didn’t notice Annalise had arrived.
“Let’s watch the movie,” he did not bother to ask. He just walked past her, toward the ticket booth, and bought two tickets.
“I did not know you liked chick flick movies, Jamie,” Annalise teased, partly amused, but mostly annoyed. She does not want to watch a movie. She wants to do something.
“No. Just this one.”
He meant to say, “I want to see her.” But he just walked inside and left his date.
~~00~~
Year 2012
Eight years earlier. Summer in Paris, Jamie is twenty-two, Claire is (almost) twenty-five.
Jamie was nervous. He did not know what came to his mind when he accepted the offer. The agents convinced him he was a good-looking lad and that his looks were what they needed.
And because he will finally see her in person.
It was his last summer in Paris, and he would graduate in the Fall. He needed more money to pay off the student loan he owed from the last years.
He was working part-time in the men’s boutique around the corner of Champs-Élysées street when these agents spotted him while shopping. They need a guy who has the features of a Viking. Tall, high cheekbone, handsome and lean body.
“You are the perfect guy for the commercial.” The agent exclaimed.
“You will be with Claire Beauchamp. You know her? The famous English actress.” The other one said.
At the mention of her name, his heart stopped beating.
He did not hear the rest. His mind focused solely on her name.
Claire Beauchamp. Claire Beauchamp. Claire Beauchamp.
Now he was sitting in the makeup trailer with wo people working on him. He was anxious and nervous. He wants to stand up and walk away. He did not like this feeling. A few minutes more and he was ready. They told him to stand by. They guide him to the studio and wait for the cue. They will film his part first. His eyes were roaming around the room looking for a golden eye, but he did not see any. He did not know when this would be over. He wants this to be over.
~~~
He was natural. He senses that the people around him enjoyed watching him, delighted that he got only a few takes to get the perfect scene. It was lunchtime when they told him to take a break. He was standing outside the studio, waiting for the catering, when he saw her. She was getting out of her car. She was wearing big sunglasses that covered almost her entire face, her hair tied in a high messy bun, a black camisole with plain black jeans. She was wearing flat white trainer shoes. She looked tall and slender. Her skin white like a pearl. His jaw dropped, his heart beating erratically. As if she knew he was looking at her, her head moved in his direction. He was not sure, but he thought he saw a hint of smile on her lips. She walked past him. Her perfume lingered in the air.
The crew called him to introduce him to Claire.
“Hi Claire, this is your co-star, James Fraser. James, this is Ms. Claire Beauchamp.”
He offered his hand, “Hello Claire.” his voice was hoarse, his palm sweaty. He prayed that she would not notice how nervous he was.
“Hi James, nice to meet you.” She accepted his hand. The moment their hand touched, they simultaneously gasped. It is like an electric current running through their veins, through their blood, and in their body, so strong that the air around the room suddenly becomes still. People around them sense it. The connection. The instant chemistry. The pull of the string between them. Everyone was looking at them, but the two (still holding hands) were oblivious, eyes fixed on each other.
Someone coughs, breaking the tension.
“Claire, would you like to have lunch first before we start your scenes?” one of the crew asked.
“Yes. Sure.”
Jamie found himself sitting beside her.
It seems like the crew knows his deepest secret that, since Claire arrived, they want him beside her.
They constantly put a chair or his things near her.
“You should eat your vegetables.” He spoke. Nodding his head toward the green beans on Claire’s plate.
“I don’t like green beans. Do you want it?” Without waiting for his answer, Claire put the beans on his plate. He eyed them, then looked at her plate, then back at his own plate.
“You should eat vegetables.”
“I do eat vegetables, but not all, especially green beans. I don’t like them.” She said, casually slicing the chicken breast.
“Me too.” He admitted. Mouth full of beans, his eyes watery.
“Then why are you eating them?” she asked, eyebrows raised in question.
He swallowed before he answered. “Because I want to please you.” He whispered shyly.
“Oh, James, you don’t have to.” She smiled sweetly at him.
His heart never stops beating fast. He thought he might die right in front of her.
“Jamie.” He said after a few beats. His eyes were on her plate, his ears pink.
“What?” Jamie smiles at her accent. It sounds like “whot” He looked at her, her lips curved in a charming smile.
“You can call me Jamie. That’s what my family calls me.”
“Alright.” She smiles at him one more time before they fall into silence.
~~
The filming took two days to finish. Jamie and Claire clearly enjoyed working together. They were both professional. At the end of the last scene and when the cast and crew were starting to pack up, Claire approached Jamie, who stood at the corner watching the activity.
“Jamie.” She stood in front of him, so near he could smell her perfume, a hint of honey and blossom. “It was nice working with you.”
“Same here, Claire. It was an honor to work with you.” He bowed his head slightly. This was it. His dreams will end. Before he changed his mind and regretted making the biggest mistakes of his life, he asked her if they could exchange numbers. “If you don’t mind. If that’s okay with you?” He looked her straight in the eyes nervously, blushing.
She smiles at him and looks back into his eyes, “Of course. Give me your phone.”
He grabbed his phone from his back pocket and handed it to her. Claire immediately typed her number. She dialed it, then saved. She did the same on her phone. “Done.”
“Thank ye.” he took his phone from her hand.
They were staring at each other, unblinking.
“So, are you going back to England?” he asked, breaking the spell.
“I’ll stay here for a few more days before I go back.”
His heart skips a million miles a minute.
“Really?” he said, breathy.
“Yes. Would you like to have some coffee some other time or before I leave?” she asked, biting her lips.
“I would love to.” He smiles. His fingers started tapping his leg. A habit when he’s nervous.
“Great!”
“There you are guys! Smile at the camera!” one of the crew boomed, startling them.
Jamie and Claire smiled at each other and then she moved to his side, wrapping her arms around his waist, his on her shoulder. They looked at the camera, and the smile on their face widened. They heard a click.
Then Claire’s head moved, hugging him. Her cheek pressed against his cheek and whispered, “It was really nice working with you, Jamie.”
Jamie hugged her tightly. He never imagined his dreams would come true. He only dreamt of meeting her in person, to have a glimpse of her. To be touched would be impossible, and yet here he was hugging her. Never in his wildest dreams did he think that he would be smiling and hugging his dream girl.
Ten feet away from them, the same crew that took their photo lifted her camera again and snapped another photo, then another, and another. She smiles at the screen, satisfied. God, they look so good together, she thought, and then finally walked away.
~~00~~
Year 2013
Seven years earlier. Spring in Scotland, Jamie is (almost) twenty-three, Claire is twenty-six.
Jamie was devastated. Heartbroken.
He was in a pub in Inverness, drowning in alcohol.
He wants to forget. He wants to wipe out the scene he saw on television.
Claire with Frank. Claire invited Frank to her movie premiere. Claire, holding hands with Frank on the red carpet.
He thought there was something between the two of them. That their relationship was more than friends. Right after the filming of their commercial, they were constantly texting each other. Calling in the middle of the night, just talking about random things. They had coffee before she left Paris. And a few more whenever she was in Paris for a fashion week. She congratulated him when he graduated, wishing she were there to witness it. He visited England before he went home to Scotland. He was hired as the new face of Barbour. She called him immediately, congratulating him and telling him that he liked the photos (so much, she printed and framed one of them). They had a few dates. They tell each other’s stories, about their families, about their career, their goals, but not about their relationship.
Jamie was content with all of that. He was fine with Claire being in his life. He will not ask more from her. He knew what he was getting into. She was a celebrity. A famous one. He will not risk her career for a guy like him. A normal guy who was head-to-toe in love with her. He takes what she can offer, but that does not mean he stops dreaming about being with her. She was in it for him. He knew it from his core and gut and in his heart. He remembers what his Da told him when he arrived home a few months ago. “You just know she’s the one. You just feel it.”
He thought she felt it too. She was happy with him.
“I feel so normal when I’m with you, Jamie. I don’t remember I have enjoyed this much in my life.”
He had brought her to Lallybroch just after the New Year. He started calling her Sassenach. He introduced her to his family, to his dog, to his horse, Donas. He made her taste the farm life. The simple life.
She was his first. That night in his bedroom. Her last night in Lallybroch.
The night when two bodies became one.
“Claire.” He breathes her name on his lips. “I want to confess something.”
“What?” She was busy kissing him, hands roaming around his hard body. She was straddling his lap, with nothing but her bra and matching panties.
“I-” he stopped. Jamie grabbed her head between his hands and looked her in the eyes.” Claire, I haven’t with anyone-” he cannot say out loud. He was beyond embarrassed.
“I know.” She whispered. Eyes closing, her lips swollen.
“How?” he asked, confused.
“No one looked at me the way you look at me. You told me once that you had gone on only one date and nothing beyond that. That’s why.” She smiled at him.
“How embarrassing.” He snorted, trying to make their conversation lighter.
“You don’t have to be ashamed. That is not embarrassing! Don’t you realize you’re giving me a gift?”
“No.”
“You are. You are trusting me with your body, Jamie. I am honored.” She pulled his head to kiss him, hard.
He kissed her back. He will trust her not only with his body, but with all his life, with everything.
“I love you.” He almost blurted out, but he bit his tongue to stop himself.
~~~
He was stumbling when he opened the door of his apartment. He did not bother to switch the light on. He was kicking his shoes as he walked to his bedroom. He threw himself into the bed, headfirst. He was a second away from unconsciousness when he felt a vibration in his pocket. He forgot that his phone had been ringing since he was in the pub. He did not bother to check who was calling him. He just wants to disappear. He closed his eyes and forgot the outside world didn’t exist.
A few hours later, he was jolted awake by a loud thud and a familiar voice. In his foggy state, it took him a moment to realize who was outside—Claire, banging on the front door and calling his name.
“Jamie!!”
He looked at the clock on his bedside table; it was half an hour past three.
What is she doing here?
“Jamie, open the door! Please.”
The knock became desperate. He ran toward the living room, to the foyer, unlocked the door, and swung it open, revealing Claire in her gown. Her face was wet with tears.
“Claire, Christ!” He pulls her inside. The air was crisp and cold at this time of night.
“Why are you not answering my calls? I have been calling you! I was so worried, you bloody Scot!”
He did not know why she was worried. And why was she in Scotland.
“Why are you here, Claire?”
“You are asking me why? Because you don’t answer your goddamn phone!” she was frustrated and screaming.
“Why are you calling then?” his voice hoarse. Still dazed in his sleep and hungover.
“I know you saw me with Frank. I knew you would be watching. I want to say it doesn’t mean anything. Him being there. The truth is, I didn’t know. I didn’t know he was going, and I don’t care. But our agent planned it. They invited him and made him appear as if he were with me. I could not say no. The minute the premiere ended, I tried to call you, but you were not answering your phone. I want to assure you that I didn’t invite him.”
Jamie was looking at Claire intently. Her eyes pleaded. He knew she was telling the truth. No doubt. What confused him was why she flew from London just to explain everything to him. She did not owe him an explanation. It was her life; he was just a friend.
“I believe you, Sassenach” he smiles at her, sadly. “You don’t need to explain everything to me. It is your choice. What I don’t get is why you are here? In Scotland? Did you come here straight from the premier?”
Claire rolled her eyes. “Yes. Obviously.” She lifted her gown, pointing out the obvious.
“Alone?” he asked. Concerned that she traveled from London all the way to Inverness in her backless emerald gown and high heels.
“No. I know someone who has a private plane. I asked him if he could fly me to Scotland. I said it was very important. He asked why, and I told him everything. Everything Jamie. He fueled his plane, and here I am. Though I owe him coffee. He and his wife were with me the entire flight.” She smiled sweetly, tears in her eyes.
“You still didn’t answer my question, Claire. Why are you here?”
“Because I love you.” She cried. “Damn it, James Fraser, isn’t it obvious? I love you!” She was crying harder now. “Whatever you read, whatever you saw on television, it's not real. I am a celebrity. I act for a living. Nothing was real except when I am with you. It was all publicity. I meant what I said before. I feel normal when I’m with you. That is why I came here. I could not bear sitting knowing you are hurting”.
Jamie suddenly forgot his hangover. He forgot that his head was pounding. All he could feel was his heart beating so fast. His eyes welled with tears. He walked to her to close the gap between them. He gently cupped the side of her head and kissed her hard.
He poured all his love into the kiss. He longed to hear the words from her. To return the love he carries since he was a lad.
“I love you too, Sassenach. I have loved you since I was twelve years old. I love you so much. I can scarcely breathe.” He pressed his forehead to her, inhaling the scent he loves so much.
They kissed again, sealing the promise of their love.
A few hours later. Jamie and Claire, lying on the floor with their bodies tangled. Her head on his chest, her hand playing with his chest hair, his arms wrapped around her waist, one hand on the cheek of her buttocks.
“Happy Birthday, Jamie.” Claire kissed his chest before she propped her elbow to look at him in the dim light.
“Oh. I forgot my own birthday. Thank ye Sassenach.” He kissed her, slow and wet.
After a few beats, “I have to go.” Regret in her voice.
“You’ll come back?” Jamie asked, hopeful.
“Of course, I will come back. I will always come back,” Claire whispered. She dipped her head to rest her forehead on his. She added “to you” a promise she will intend to fulfill for the rest of her life.
~~~000~~~
Year 2013
Seven years earlier. Fall in Scotland, Jamie is twenty-three, Claire just turned twenty-seven.
They were in Lallybroch. Jamie was sitting beside Claire, who was talking to his sister, Jenny. Her right leg was resting on the top of his left leg, his hands massaging it. She had just blown out her birthday candles half an hour ago, and now Claire and the rest of his family and her friends were eating and chatting together.
Claire wants to celebrate her birthday with him. She called him to say that her agent had given her a few weeks off from filming and that she wanted to spend it with him. Jamie did not waste time planning everything. He, with her sister’s help, planned a simple and formal birthday dinner party for her. Only her few friends and his family were present.
Jamie’s parents were delighted when he mentioned his other plans for Claire’s birthday. Brian Fraser hugged his youngest son as tears welled in his eyes. Ellen Fraser was straight-up sobbing. Claire’s family was in Italy, and they could not attend their daughter’s party, but Jamie called them. He said the same thing to her parents, and based on the change in Julia’s voice, she was crying. “They were happy tears!” she assured him.
Jamie was fidgeting. His hand was tapping on Claire’s leg. Claire noticed it. She turned her body so she could see Jamie properly.
“Hey, are you okay?” she asked. Her left hand touched the side of his neck.
“I’m fine Sassenach”. He kissed her, wiping the worry on her face.
He carefully removed her leg from his lap, kissed her one more time before he stood up.
“Hello, everyone,” he started, looking at the people at the long table. Everyone stopped chatting and looked back at him.
“I thank ye all for coming and for celebrating Claire’s birthday with us.” Everyone gave him a round of applause. He inhales deeply before he starts speaking. “As you all know, a year ago, Claire and I met at the set of the commercial we did for a clothing company, and ever since, we have been inseparable. Well, except when she was out of town, filming, of course.” He laughed. He heard some chuckles. “But you probably don’t know that I was in love with her since I was twelve years old.” He heard Claire’s friends’ gasp. He released a big sigh, then continued, “I secretly love her from afar. I admire her beauty and talent. As I grew up, I had only one wish, and that was to see her in person, just a glimpse of her. I tried many times to attend some of her events, but for some reason, there was always something happening from school and work that kept me occupied. Now I understand because God had a different plan. Not only did I meet her, but she also became my friend, then later became my lover. I did not know what I did to deserve her. She was this goddess. One of the most beautiful and influential women in the world, and yet she chose me. A simple man with a simple dream. A dream that she fulfilled and keeps fulfilling just by being with me.” He was now crying. He looked at his left side to see Claire looking up at him with tears flowing down her face. He took her hand and gently guided her to stand up. “There may be a better partner for you, but for me, you are the one. I think you are made for me. The joy and lovely feeling I get when you are with me cannot be explained. I love you very much. I loved you for eleven years, and I will love you a thousand years more.”
He kneeled in front of him, and he heard everyone gasp. He took the small box that had been sitting in his pocket since morning. He opened it, revealing a stunning vintage-inspired 1920s design diamond ring. “Claire Beauchamp, will you marry me? Will you be my wife?” he asked, nervously. His hands shaking and sweaty, his eyes never leaving her.
He felt everyone holding their breath. He knew because he couldn’t hear anything, only his heartbeat, which beat so loudly.
“Yes!” Claire finally said. “Yes, Jamie, I will marry you.” Jamie felt her hands on his face, pulling him up, then kissed him hard, tasting each other’s tears. They kissed passionately, not minding their audience, catcalling, shouting their congratulations, clapping, and crying with joy. William shouted “That’s my brother!” Jenny cried, “I am going to cry!”, Ellen Fraser, straight up sobbing (again but loudly), her head on Brian’s chest. Joe Abernathy’s arms on Geillis, both teary-eyed, smiling at their friend.
They pulled apart, breathless.
Jamie slid the ring on her finger. It fits perfectly. He kissed it, then he kissed Claire again.
Their family and friends approached them one by one, hugging and congratulating them. They party hard. They played music. They danced in the big living room, and more wine flowed through the night.
Jamie was standing in the entrance hall with Claire in his arms, her back on his chest, his arms circling her waist, watching the special people celebrating the most momentous event of their lives. Claire turned so they were chest to chest. She pulled his face close to her, their lips barely touching, and she whispered, “The best birthday I ever had.” Then she pressed her lips to give Jamie a long kiss.
~~~
The same year. Hogmanay
Jamie could not wait to marry Claire. Lucky for him, Claire felt the same way.
They got married in Lallybroch at three in the afternoon of December 31st under the sunset in the presence of their families and friends, and a few more guests. It was freezing, all the guests were wearing cloaks and coats, but none of them felt the cold. The warmth and love from the couple were spreading like wildfire, seeping through their bodies, cocooning them.
There were fairy lights all around the big tree, and under it, there was a big arc filled with white roses. Under it was a small rectangular platform. They cleared some snow and put a gray, thick, long carpet to make a small runway for the entourage to avoid slipping. There were a few wooden chairs arranged in a row facing the platform. The reception was in the backyard. They put a big white tent to cover all the tables and cater. Two long and some round tables are arranged in white and silver decor. A white rose and white hydrangea bouquet in a tall vase was placed as the centerpiece. It was beautiful. Simple and elegant.
Claire was wearing a Corcega tulle and silk organza long-sleeve ball gown wedding dress with a matching white headband. Her hair was swept in a tight knot. Her makeup was simple. While Jamie wears a tuxedo. His long, thick red hair he swept smoothly, his cheeks red in the cold.
They exchange vows. They stood in front of a priest. Jamie added the vows that his parents, his grandparents, and many of his ancestors used in their weddings.
“You are Blood of my Blood,
and Bone of my Bone.
I give you my Body,
that we Two might be One.
I give you my Spirit,
‘til our Life shall be Done”
~~~
The next day, the newlywed couple flew to Bali for their honeymoon. But before they took off, Claire checked her phone to read an article.
The headlines say, “The Famous Actress, Claire Beauchamp, tied the knot last night with her extremely handsome fiancé, James Fraser, a Scottish Model and Farmer.”
On the website, there was a photo of them at the reception. Jamie and Claire stood close together, hand in hand, their head tilted, watching the fireworks. The shot was wide in landscape, all you could see in the photo were them, the white snow, the fairy lights, and the fireworks. It was beautiful and magical. That photo was a screenshot from Claire’s photographer Instagram account.
The next photo was from her own Instagram post. It was a close-up photo of them hugging each other. Jamie’s back was turned, Claire’s nose buried on his shoulder, her eyes closed, her left hand resting on his shoulder blade, flashing her rings. She wrote the caption “Happiest day of my life. #MyForever”
~~00~~
Year 2016
Four years earlier. Spring in London, Jamie is twenty-six, Claire is twenty-nine.
“I WON’T LET YOU TOUCH ME EVER AGAIN, JAMIE FRASER!” Jamie heard Claire screaming at the top of her lungs. Her right hand was squeezing his fingers, wincing at the pressure.
“One more push, Mrs. Fraser.” The doctor urged Claire.
Jamie looked at his wife, wiping her sweat on her brow, then kissed them. He murmured, “You can do it Sassenach. One more push.”
“GO TO HELL!”
“You don’t mean that Sassenach.” Jamie looked at her with worry.
“Oh, I meant it, you bloody Scot!” Claire glowered at him, panting.
“No, you don’t.” The corner of his lips twitched.
“IT HURTS!” Claire cried.
“I know Sassenach. If only I could take away your pain. I can bear my own pain but I canna bear yours. One more push and it will be over. Please.” He kissed her again, this time on the mouth. It seems those words comfort Claire, so she took a long breath and pushed harder. Her screams pierce his heart. He did not feel the pain in his hands when Claire squeezed them so tightly, he was pretty sure he heard them crack.
A few moments later, he finally heard it. He looked at Claire, crying, slumped in exhaustion. He brought their still clasped hand to his mouth. “You did it, Sassenach.” He kissed her forehead. The doctor laid the tiny human being in Claire’s chest, bawling.
“Oh my god. Oh my god.” Claire cried. “Hello, baby.” She whispered.
At the sound of Claire’s voice, the baby stopped crying. “Hi.” She runs her hand on their baby’s back.
“Jamie, look.”
Jamie leaned closer to look at their baby up close. His eyes watered when he saw the product of his and Claire’s love. She was beautiful. He knew it.
“Hello, my daughter.” He kissed the wet, tiny head of his daughter and cried. He rests his forehead on Claire’s cheeks, whispering his endless gratitude. “Thank ye, Sassenach. Thank you!”
“I love you so much.” Claire turned her head so she could kiss him on the cheek. Then added “I didn’t mean anything I said.”
“I know. Christ, I love you.”
The couple watched as the doctor took their bundle of joy away to clean, weigh, and check to make sure she was healthy.
“8.3 pounds.” The doctor enthusiastically announced.
No wonder my Sassenach had a hard time pushing her. Jamie thought.
As he looked down at his wife, he saw that her eyes were closed.
“Sleep Sassenach. You did well. You are a brave wee thing. You and our daughter. I promise I will protect you both.” He whispered.
“Faith,” Claire whispered back. “Let’s name her Faith. Faith Juliana Fraser”
“Aye, perfect.”
~~00~~
Year 2019
A year earlier. Summer in Lallybroch, Jamie is twenty-nine, Claire is thirty-two.
Jamie woke up when he felt a sudden pain in his groin. He unconsciously touched it. He opened his eyes to see who caused it. Faith was lying on her stomach, one leg bent and resting on his thigh, her face tucked in between his side and her stuffed elephant. He smiles at the sight of his daughter. He knew why Faith was in their bed. She woke up in the middle of the night, either she had a nightmare (but really, she only dreams about animals and dinosaurs and she thought they were nightmares “I’m riding T-Rex Da then I fell because he was trying to reach the mango fruit from the tree, but he can’t reach because he has short arms and then he fell on his face. That’s how I fell.”) Or she was hot. Faith, like Claire, easily gets sweaty when the room is humid, especially in summer. That’s the reason why he put a big AC in their room in Lallybroch and in their rooms in London.
He noticed that his wife was not in bed. It only means she woke up early (or Faith woke her up) and did not go back to sleep. He looked at the corner of the room where the portable crib was placed. It was empty. Then he looked at the wall clock on his right to see it was five past seven in the morning.
He heard some muffled voices from the house. He knew Claire and Jenny, and the rest of the housemaids were busy preparing and arranging food in the kitchen. He even heard her Ma cooing loudly, and if he heard correctly, Julia as well.
His in-laws arrived yesterday from Italy (They bought a villa in Lake Como and might live there permanently) to attend Brianna’s christening.
Brianna Ellen Fraser was unexpected. He and Claire planned to have another baby when Faith turned four, but since neither of them could keep their hands off each other, she got pregnant a year before. She was conceived in February last year when they went to her parents’ villa in Italy to celebrate Valentine's Day.
He slowly and silently climbed off the bed, put his shirt on, and then went downstairs. He was greeted by the women, including his seven-month-old daughter.
“Oh, Da is awake.” His Ma said, waving Brianna’s chubby arm toward him.
He kissed Bree’s head, then his Ma’s cheeks. He walks toward Julia, who was now standing behind Ellen. He went to the kitchen to greet Julia.
“Where is Claire?” he asked.
“Outside, on the phone, I think. She was calling the church, making sure the priest would come.” Julia said, before she walks away.
He went outside to search for his wife. There she stood in the garden in her long striped maxi dress, her hand on her hair, the other on the phone to her ear, her lips moving, head nodding. As if she knew he was approaching, she turned her body and gave him a sweet smile. She hangs up the phone, then closes the remaining gap between them. She tilts her head, offering her lips. He kissed her hard, fast, and wet.
“Good morning.” She greeted. Her lips were still brushing his.
“Morning Sassenach.” He answered between kisses.
“Faith still sleeping?” she asked, her arms sliding to his waist.
“Yes. Still knock out.”
“She woke me up last night because she’s sweating. She complained that her cousin’s room was so hot, and that I should tell Jenny to put an AC.” She laughed, recalling her daughter's sweaty face.
“Aye, I will not be surprised if she tells that herself. She is a feisty and honest one, like her Mama.”
She chuckled. “So, are you ready for today’s event?”
“Aye. I canna wait. Everything is ready then?”
“Yes. I should go and get Brianna. I need to bathe her, then put on her dress. The priest told me that he has another appointment today at 12 noon, so he asked me to make it at 10. I will call Geillis to tell her to call Joe to arrive early. Can you call your other relatives and inform them the same? After you call them, try to wake up Faith. I will bathe her after Bree and then get ready. I want us to dress before the priest arrives.” She gave a lengthy instruction.
“You are so hot when your boss me around, especially in bed.”
“I am your boss.”
“Aye, you are.” He gave her a peck on the lips, then wrapped his hands around her shoulder, and together they went inside to get to their daughters.
~~00~~
June 2020
Summer in London, Jamie is thirty, Claire is thirty-three.
Jamie listened as Claire spoke in front of the camera, recording a virtual interview for a magazine. She talked about the lockdown—how she was coping with the pandemic, the things she wanted to do for herself now that she was spending more time at home, and how, despite the world’s suffering, she was grateful for the chance to spend more time with her daughters.
He walked silently out in the hallway toward Faith’s room. As he reached the door, he turned the knob and carefully opened it. He peeks inside to see his eldest daughter sleeping on her bed. Faith was lying on her stomach, her arms and legs spread wide like a starfish, her flush animal in one hand.
Then he moved to the next door but went fully inside. He checked to see Brianna sleeping deeply. Just like Faith, Bree was lying on her stomach, her arms tucked under her belly, her bum up in the air, her mouth open, and drool pooled from her tiny mouth. The sound of waterfalls filled her room, the curtains were closed, and her room so cozy that he felt suddenly sleepy. He touched her head, swept the curls away from her forehead, and watched as they went back again. He smiled when she saw the tip of her lips twitch and rewarded him with a smile. His two daughters, just like him, smile in their sleep. He silently left the room.
He went to another room, this time to their own room. There are some books scattered on the floor. He and Claire were organizing the bookcase when she jumped out of her seat and suddenly remembered her interview. They both left the room and went to the office so he could help her start the Zoom calls. Now back in their room, he resumed their task of arranging the books.
A few weeks ago, out of boredom, and since he was a man who liked to work, a man who was not used to doing nothing, he ordered some wood from the hardware store. He decided, instead of buying a new shelf, he would build his own. A small shelf for their room. He noticed that Claire's bookshelf was full. Her other books were already tucked in the corner, still in the boxes, unopened. Since the lockdown started, Claire has spent most of her free time buying books online. He was pretty sure Claire had already forgotten her new purchases. Now that he had finished the bookshelf, he had moved it to their room so he could set it up.
He was crouched, picking up the rest of Claire’s things that she had been arranging before, when something caught his eye. It was a brown leather envelope. It was heavy and thick. He sat on the floor with crossed legs. Out of curiosity, he opened it. He gasped when he saw what was inside. It was a photo of them, hugging. He remembered that day. The day he met Claire. It was the last day of their shooting. Someone obviously took a photo of them. He flipped the next one, and it was the same photo but this time, Claire’s face was on his cheek. He still remembers what she told him that day. The next one was the same, but this time they were looking at each other, smiling. The next one was them looking directly at the camera, smiling, their arms around each other. He flipped another photo and saw his photos from his first pictorial for Barbour, a lot of them. He was pretty sure she had most of them. Then he came to the last photo. He stared at it for a long time. His heart was beating so fast, his hands started to shake. He was breathing heavily. It was a picture of him on the set of the commercial they did eight years ago. It was him standing, his face serious, looking at the camera. The background was blurry, only his face was captured clearly. It looks like someone was trying to snap a photo of him secretly and moved the camera fast when she thought he caught her. But he did not remember anything from that day. He remembered only watching her while she was working. He was so engrossed in studying the photo that he did not feel the arms sliding through his shoulder. Then he felt Claire’s breath on his ear, “You are not the only one secretly loving from afar.” She rests her forehead on the side of his head. He turned it so he could look into her eyes. “When?”
Claire straightened up, moved to his front, spread her legs, then sat, so she was straddling him. She rested her arms on his shoulder, her hands cupped his neck and looked at him in the eye. He pulled her closer and wrapped his arms around her waist. She told the secret she had kept to herself for a long time. “I was in Paris, shopping for my father. It was his birthday that week, so I wanted to buy him a present. I entered this store in the corner when I spotted a tall, red-haired guy standing straight, waiting patiently for his customer. The moment I saw him, it was like the world stopped.” She looked at him closely, then her eyes became soft. “You are the most handsome man I have ever seen.” She smiles, biting her lips.
Jamie opened his mouth to say that if she had come to that store, he should have known. He would recognize her everywhere, but Claire stopped him as if she knew what he was about to say.
“You didn’t recognize me. You were so focused on the other customer, and besides, I was dressed in disguise. I could not get you out of my mind after that day. I wanted to go back the next day just to see you again before my flight. Then the commercial came. When I got out of my car, I immediately saw you, standing outside. The way you stand at the store. I smile at myself and mentally freak out because out of all men, you are the one they hired. I thought it was destiny. Fate has a way of bringing us together. I remember you almost choking on green beans, even though you didn’t like them. When I asked why you kept eating them, you said it was because you wanted to please me. That’s when I knew—you were the one for me.” Tears welled in her eyes. She looked down, took his hand that was still holding the photo, and put it between them. She stared down at it and said, “This was on the second day of filming. You wear a plain white T-shirt and plain jeans, waiting for your turn in the makeup room. I was standing a few feet behind you, secretly taking a photo of you, when you suddenly turned around. I thought I did not get it, but when I saw my camera, I caught my breath because it captured your face. Your face was clear, and the rest was blurry. It was like someone edited it. It was stunning. I printed it and kept it. I carry it everywhere because I was so proud of it.” She looked back at him, already looking at her, his eyes intense and soft at the same time.
“You love me since you were twelve? Well, Jamie, I loved you since I was twenty-five.” She smiles through her tears.
He kissed her then. Hard and long. Their tongue collided, tasting and licking each other. Jamie dropped the photos on the floor, fisted her hair, and pulled her closer, chest to chest; they felt their heartbeat synchronize. The kiss was getting heated when the door burst open.
“MAMA!” Faith shouts, entering the room. Her stuffed elephant in her hand.
Jamie and Claire broke the kiss, then simultaneously looked at Faith, clearly confused. They watched as she walked toward them. She stopped and looked at Claire. She tilted her head and asked, “Mama, why are you in Da’s lap? Why are you crying? Do you have owie?” She touched Claire’s arms, checking for any injuries.
Claire climbed off Jamie’s lap and then pulled Faith to her arms. She settled her on her lap and rested her head on her chest. “Nothing is wrong with Mama. I am fine. Did you have a good nap?” She felt Faith nod. Then she added, “Do you want a snack?”
“Yes!” Faith cried. She jumped out of Claire’s lap, then threw her body on Jamie’s chest. “Da! Can we go outside?”
“Yes, but only in the backyard.”
“Okay!!” Faith wrapped her arms around Jamie’s neck.
Then suddenly they heard a loud thud and a small cry. Jamie and Claire looked at each other, then got to their feet. They hurried toward the source of the sound. Claire opened Brianna’s door and was surprised when they saw her out of her crib. She was sitting on the floor, shocked by her fall, her mouth hanging open. Jamie burst out laughing. Claire immediately scoops Brianna, checking if there was any bruise or injury.
“Did you climb off your bed, Bree?”
“Yes.” She proudly said.
Claire glared at Jamie, who was still laughing. “You cannot wait for your big girl bed, Bree?”
Bree nodded.
“Alright, I’ll fix it next week,” Jamie said.
“No, you won’t, mister. You wait until she turns two.” Claire said while walking. She stopped in front of Jamie.
Faith, who does not want to be left out, announced, “I have a big girl bed!”
“Yes, you have,” Jamie said, kissing her head. He nearly laughed again at the thought of Faith sleeping in her big-girl bed, her head dangling near the edge, waking up on the opposite side, or with her sheet tossed onto the floor. There was one night when she burst into the room crying because she had fallen from her bed. She blamed T-rex. She told them he kicked her out of the bed. Jamie and Claire pressed their lips to stop laughing. That night, they let her sleep in their bed. When they woke up, Claire found Faith at the foot of the bed, head hanging over the edge. If she moved one bit, she would fall straight to the floor.
Jamie looked at Claire and then at his daughters, thinking how lucky he was. After all those years since he had last seen Claire, who would have thought he would come to this point—building a life with her.
He looked at her eyes, and what he saw was love and content, and he was so damn proud that he was the one giving that to her. He vowed that he would make her happy until his last breath. He would protect their children, and he would love them forever.
Until the day he dies.