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My Dearest Soshiro,
Over the past few years, I have fallen deeper and deeper in love with you. Every smile. Every joke. They permeate my defenses with such ease. I remember the first time we met. You gave me the biggest smile and welcomed me warmly to the Defense Force. The way you talked made it seem like we had known each other for decades despite both of us being barely into our twenties at the time. Everything is just so easy when I’m with you, and for the first time in way too long, I feel home. I just needed to get this out before you try on No. 10… just in case. My dearest Soshiro, I lo-
“No, no, no! I- I can’t just give this to him before he goes!” Okonogi throws her pen down and rolls onto her back, sprawled out in exasperation. “Ugh… he needs to stay focused and this will only distract him.”
“If only I told him soon-” knock knock knock “shoot!”
Okonogi springs into action, quickly shoving the love letter under her bed in a last ditch effort to conceal it before answering to see none other than Hoshina standing on the other side of the door. Embarrassment shoots a red tinge over her cheeks.
Shoot! I hope he didn’t hear my mumbling!
“Okonogi, just the person I wanted to see! May I come in?”
“I- uh… sure?” Her heart feels as though it’s attempting to break out of the confinement of her chest as she steps aside, gesturing for him to come in. “Take a seat wherever, I guess...”
Hoshina respectfully sits on her desk chair while she takes a seat on her bed across from him.
The tension of complete silence builds until Okonogi can’t take it anymore. “So, Vice Captain… Is there something you wanted to talk about, or…?” She didn’t like prying, but the silence was killing her.
Hoshina uncharactaristically fidgets with his fingers, almost as if he’s trying to find the right words to formulate what’s on his mind. He’s normally so confident he’d have everyone fooled that he was feeling okay after some bad sushi.
“Is this about No. 10?”
Surprised by her abruptness, Hoshina opens his eyes to make eye contact. “Yep… I don’t know. I know I agreed and everything, but I- I’m really second guessing my decision.”
“Sir, respectfully, you can always decline. I haven’t thought this was a good idea since it was brought up. There are just too many things that could go wrong, and… it worries me.”
Hoshina buries his face in his hands. “I know. I know. But, at the end of the day, everyone’s counting on me. Ichikawa, Kafka, Ashiro… hell, even you!”
“Sir, I’m not sure what you mean by that. I’d rather you be safe than anything! We can always find another way to extract the information from No. 10. You don’t have to put your life on the line for any of us! Especially me!”
He sits there quietly, taking in every word, his thoughts plastered on his face.
“Okonogi, I appreciate your concern, but I’ve dedicated my whole life to this line of work. If I can’t do something as simple as put on a numbered suit, then who exactly do I become?”
The silence that follows is heavy and unbearable. Okonogi wants to take his pain away… She wants to show him that he’s worth more than just dying young to protect others. He always puts others first in such a self-sacrificing way, like he’s never seen his self-worth.
“Vice Captain!” She starts sternly. “I know it doesn’t mean much coming from a subordinate, but you will always be Soshiro Hoshina. Whether you put on that suit or whether you don’t. You will always be the guy who is kind and funny and cares about others even if it's to his own detriment.” Her words pour out like water bursting through a dam. “But most of all, you will always be someone worth loving! I know I can’t make you see that yourself, but it’s true!”
“Okonogi…” His natural timbre constantly exudes formality. “How can you know that though? To everyone, I’m just Vice Captain Hoshina. I will never be just Soshiro Hoshina.”
Something in Okonogi snaps like the twig under an elephant's foot. “You don’t understand, sir! I know because I LOVE YOU!” She quickly smacks a trembling hand over her mouth, realizing exactly what she just confessed as a pinkish hue creeps over her features.
Hoshina doesn’t move a single muscle, not even to make an attempt to avert his eyes. Whether it’s out of shock or trying to find the right words or… maybe something else, Okonogi can’t make out what’s going through his head.
The silence turns to suffocation. Almost like drowning in the middle of the ocean, grasping for anything… a breath of air, a life preserver, a hand. Her body frozen in place as her breathing turns shallow and her heart feels like it’s trying to escape… to leave and never come back.
Completely lost in thought, Okonogi flinches when a hand gently grazes hers. She looks up to see Hoshina standing in front of her with a look she had never seen on him up until this moment.
“Sir..? Ca-”
Hoshina shushes her with a finger to her lips. “Can I kiss you?” His voice, like the rays of sun dancing across the earth after it rains.
“I-” Okonogi’s heart flutters in her chest. Never in a million years would she have thought this day would happen. She pauses before shaking her head ever so slightly.
“Okonogi, I’m gonna need more than that if you’re actually okay with it. I don’t want to cross any bounda-”
“YES!’ She practically yells, cutting him off. “I- I would really like that.”
Hoshina smiles, tenderly tilting her chin towards him as he leans in. Invisible sparks dance around the room the moment their lips touch. He presses her arm that’s awkwardly hovering to his waist, bringing her closer before gently pulling away so as to not make her uncomfortable.
“I love you too, Okonogi… And, that is why I have to put No. 10 on. I want- no, I need to keep you safe from No. 9 or any other numbered kaiju that tries to come after us.” Their gazes catch and, despite Hoshina’s tough exterior, Okonogi catches the slightest glimpse of a tear in his eyes. “If that means risking everything to make sure you’re safe, so be it! I’d never be able to live with myself if you died and I knew I didn’t at least try to do everything in my power to save you.”
“But, Vice Captain…”
He doesn’t let her finish her sentence. Not because he doesn’t want to hear it, but rather because he knows it’ll cause him regret if he does. “Call me Soshiro… And my decision has already been made.”
He places one last gentle kiss onto her forehead before making his way to the door.
“Hoshi-” Okonogi's pause brings a mix of emotions as her tone turns more heartfelt. “Soshiro… please be careful.”
A bright smile gleams across the room as he turns to face her once more. “I always am…”