Chapter Text
I’m spending some of my paid time off from the Hunter’s Association at the base in the N109 Zone. With how long it’s been since Sylus and I had any time together, despite the excitement to see him, my mind decides to work against me, stirring up unintended anxieties. Anxieties so loud, in fact, that I mentally feel as if I’m drowning myself out…talking isn’t something I can’t bring myself to do today with how loud my thoughts are.
As I’m aimlessly wandering through the halls of Onychinus’ headquarters, I find myself passing by the armory, the door ajar. The soft metallic mechanical sounds coming from within under the scratch of a vinyl record playing draw me in like a snake charmer, and sharp LED lighting shining through the crack in the door, beckoning me like a moth to a flame. I slowly and quietly open it more to see Sylus standing at the long table, assessing a new shipment of pistols from his latest deal. I maneuver my way in through the door silently, watching as his brow slightly furrows as he picks up one of the pistols and takes the magazine out to inspect the type of ammunition it uses. As I watch him silently, the noise in my head continues to grow louder, then the click of the magazine being put back in place temporarily draws my attention back to the present.
“I spy a kitten, stalking her prey by lingering quietly in the shadows too long.” His husky voice carries from the table, a quick flick of his gaze up to where I stand quietly before returning his attention to the weapons spread before him. I blink back into focus before I push myself off the wall and make my way towards the table, hesitating a moment before placing myself slightly behind him off to the side. He tilts his head slightly as he sets the first pistol down and picks up another, this one very obviously a considerable antique by comparison. Watching him handle weapons like this – it’s an everyday occurrence, and logically, I know that. However, for some reason, as I’m watching him handle them, my body instinctively moves to hug him tightly yet gently. I close my eyes as I rest my forehead on the square of his back, where his shoulders meet, and I feel him slightly tense under my touch, but he relaxes into the hug shortly after. He pauses his ministrations with the pistols, taking a slow breath where mine comes out slightly shaky (despite my trying to mask it). I hear him set down the gun before lightly placing one of his big hands over mine as they rest around his waist. His thumb gently strokes the back of my hand as he takes another deep breath.
“What’s wrong, kitten?” He whispers huskily, concern etched into his tone despite the crisp authority he uses with Onychinus. I try my best to match his breathing, but still find it ragged and shaky, my eyes squeezing shut to fight back the tears. The noise in my head continues to pester me, like a swarm of hornets that are a constant reminder of the anxiety. We stand like this for merely seconds that feel like an eternity until I feel him gently unwrap my arms from around his waist so he can turn around to face me. I open my eyes but keep my eyes downcast, until he gently cups my cheek, encouraging me to meet his gaze.
“This kind of quiet is the loudest, isn’t it?” He asks simply, and in his intense gaze, I see the gentleness of understanding. Tears prick at the corner of my eyes, and I simply nod my head, dropping my gaze again. He hums deeply, his thumb stroking gently over my cheek before kissing my forehead gingerly. “There are shadows within shadows in that brilliant mind of yours, aren’t there?” I meet his gaze again when he says this, my mouth opening to say something but the words catch in my throat, and his eyes flit down to it, his own quirking up into a smirk. “Words are hard on days like this, sweetie. Don’t force them; I’ve got you, okay?” He offers, dropping one of his hands to intertwine with mine before gently escorting me toward the door.
~
We make our way back down the hall, but this time wind up in the living room. There’s a mysterious box sitting on the coffee table that I didn’t notice yesterday. Sylus sits on the couch and moves me to straddle his lap, putting both of my arms around his neck.
“Are you feeling clingy?” He asks me, but already knowing my answer, I move to hug him close to me, and he simply chuckles while wrapping his arms around my waist. Despite not having said anything, I bury my face in his shoulder, lip quivering as tears threaten to spill over. One of his hands moves from my waist, and he leans us toward the coffee table. Rather than be curious about what he’s doing, I simply stay how I am, still fighting the urge to cry when I feel a different kind of weight be draped over my back and shoulders, recognizing that he’s covered us in a weighted blanket as his arms return to their home around my waist. I take another shaky breath under the pressure, feeling Sylus breathe with me.
“You don’t need words until you’re ready, but I got you this. Yesterday, I noticed how your brain was starting to bully you – just imagine we’re in a little cocoon right now, the rest of the world doesn’t exist. Just focus on us – on me – right here, right now. Okay?” He mutters, one hand stroking slowly up and down my spine while the other traces circles on my lower back. I take in a shaky breath, finally allowing myself to break in his arms. The tears fall, my breathing becomes even more raspy and shaky – sometimes even hyperventilating – and my arms tighten around his neck. Despite what my mind is screaming at me, Sylus stays a constant for me to focus on, breathing deep, long, slow breaths to help center me, occasionally muttering soft affirmations to keep me from spiraling further into the anxieties.
Time seems to stand still in this moment, but when my mind and body are not as loud, I notice that the sky has changed from the orange sunset I had glimpsed through the living room curtain to a rich midnight blue outside. When I readjust to sit up and meet his gaze, one of his hands reaches up to stroke my cheek, wiping away the tears. “I don’t like to see you shattered like this, y/n. It breaks my heart to know your own mind plagues you this way,” he whispers reverently, his eyes soft yet sincere as his gaze is drawn to a tear that gets caught at the corner of my mouth. “But, I hope that in those moments where you do break, you’ll allow me to be the one to turn those broken pieces into a stained-glass masterpiece, jagged edges and all.” He presses his forehead to mine as he says this, giving a feather-light kiss where the tear on my lips rests, and I close my eyes with a soft smile.
“Thank you, Sylus.” I whisper, lightly pecking his lips, which he returns with equal parts gentleness and determination. After a few seconds, he pulls away, his forehead remaining connected to mine.
“You have me here, heart and soul, whenever you need me. Always.” He responds in a whisper so low and soft that his voice feels like the hum of his motorcycle, and his eyes lock with mine after a moment, the earnestness in his statement clear as crystal.