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Depending on where you set foot in Delfino, it was either hot or cool. A refreshing stroll beneath the trees could be disrupted by uncomfortable heat with a single careless step outside the shade. Many of the Smashers had made this observation already on their Delfino vacation.
"Man it's a shame Mario isn't here," Pit said. He held an ice cream cone in each hand, one chocolate, the other strawberry, as he walked through the main plaza.
"Well after what they did to him I can see why he wouldn't want to come back." Palutena had contented herself with Pit at least not eating off the floor, though she didn't hide the judging glare in her eyes. "Bowser Junior's Shadow Mario disguise was so obviously not the real thing, even in the pictures, that I think everyone here needs their eyes checked."
"Huh. Hey, I'll see you losers later." Dark Pit took off running and quickly turned a corner. Before Palutena could make a remark, others came from the same direction.
"Hey Pit, Palutena." Wii Fit Trainer waved to the two as she walked over, a blank white surf board in hand. With her were Mewtwo, Meta Knight, and Lucina, each of them carrying a black surfboard with flame decals and screaming skulls drawn on. "I'm giving these guys surfing lessons, want to join?"
"Sorry, we already have other plans, I’m on Ike’s team for beach volleyball. Maybe tomorrow."
"Wait can we change our plans? I want to learn how to surf!" Pit shouted.
"I think you're already a little busy with all of those calories." Wii Fit Trainer looked at the massive ice cream cones. "How many scoops are those?"
"You don't want to know." Palutena shook her head.
"I think those might be taller than Young Link," Lucina said.
"And they're all mine!"
Meanwhile by the shine gate, Lucario, Jigglypuff, Roy, and Olimar had just finished their guided tour. They stayed by the central canal, looking up at the shine gate and volcano overlooking the entire isle. "I have to admit, whenever I see something big like that big shine, I start thinking about how many Pikmin could carry it."
"Well let's try to stay out of trouble. You all know what happened to Mario just for being nearby last time someone messed with the shines." Roy looked around nervously. It was harder to relax than he expected.
"I still want to climb up towards the top, by the volcano entrance," Lucario said. Jigglypuff made sounds of agreement.
"Don't worry, I'll try not to have the Pikmin haul off the big shine." Everyone turned to look at Olimar. "It's a joke."
On the roofs of Delfino, Dark Pit had found a perch and used it to spy on Pit and Palutena. Pit was cheering for Palutena and Ike (mostly Palutena) as they played against Fox and Falco, taking a bite out of each tower of ice cream between cheers. "Okay, what's something I can do that will get Pit arrested?” Dark Pit thought aloud.
He noticed he wasn't alone on the roofs. A group was meeting on the roof of a nearby museum, and looked like they were in the process of planning a break in based on their big 'museum heist starts here' sign. Dark Pit ran across the rooftops.
"Need a hand stealing?" Dark Pit assessed the group of thieves. There was a purple Jigglypuff with a scar and an eyepatch, a yellow Lucario with a scar and an eyepatch, and a feminine looking blonde man with a yellow cape.
"You came just in time. We are going to steal the famed McGuffin Diamond. These are Wapuff and Wacario. And I am Warth, prince of Waltea.”
"Sounds good. But you need to let me get caught on camera so I can frame my copycat. Keep the money, I'm just in it for the frame job."
One really cool heist later
"Wow, that was a really cool heist we pulled off. I wish we recorded it or wrote it down, because I can read,” Dark Pit said. He was lying about being literate. He looked out the window of the sea plane as it took off into the sky.
"The people saw enough of it. And now we'll go to my evil kingdom of Waltea to use this Mcguffin for evil!" Warth said.
As this was happening, Lucario, Jigglypuff, Roy, and Olimar were enjoying a picnic looking out at the shine gate, lazily taking bites out of their sandwiches. "Look I'm just saying, if we moved it around a little bit there'd be no harm done," Olimar said. Police sirens blared as Piantas armed with guns ran towards the picnickers.
"Freeze! You're under arrest!" The Pianta cops put Roy in handcuffs.
"What did I do?"
"You know what you did, you stole the Mcguffin Diamond." The police held up a picture of the thieves. "That's you right there." The pianta pointed to Dark Pit. Lucario and Jigglypuff exchanged a look, then backed away slowly, still holding their sandwiches.
"Don't worry, I'm sure this will all get cleared up soon. This is going to be a slam dunk for any defense lawyer " Olimar said.
"Hah, we don't have those here," one of the cops said. He stole one of the sandwiches from the picnic basket.
Over by the beach, the Smasher's volleyball game was heating up as the surfers came in from their lesson. Palutena nearly missed the ball, but created a small black hole to pull it into the place and hit it back. "Hey, that move was illegal," Fox protested.
"What are you going to do, arrest me?" That was when the Pianta coppers swarmed the beach. They ran right past Palutena and arrested Ike.
"That looks nothing like me, are you joking." Ike stared in confusion at the picture of the thieves, where the coppers apparently thought Ike was the discount evil Marth. Pit hid behind Palutena, about halfway done with his ice cream towers.
"Oh sure, just arrest any puffball looking thing no matter how different they are, totally not racial profiling." Meta Knight snarked as he was led away.
"DO I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING LUCARIO TO YOU!" Mewtwo shouted as he was arrested.
"Not that I'm complaining, but"- Lucina was cut off by Wii Fit Trainer.
"Don't give them any ideas. Let's just go to court and settle this. It should be easy."
"It should be easy," Mewtwo mockingly said inside his cell. "Why did they even pretend to have that trial? They just accused us and threw us in."
"So... what do we do now?" Roy asked.
"Mewtwo and I could teleport out and find the real criminals to clear our names." Meta Knight tugged at his cape.
"There's no way they didn't realize they arrested the wrong people. I say we do a jail break. We can't be the only wrongly imprisoned people here." Ike pulled at the bars to his cell.
"Well I'm sure the others are planning something less extreme." A large shadow passed over Isle Delfino, but from the jail cell window Roy couldn't make out what it was. Some parts of the shadow's shape began to look familiar.
"Fox, I told you to handle this diplomatically and peacefully, right?"
"Yes."
"And what did you do?" Palutena gestured to the now obscured skies of Isle Delfino. The free Smashers had gathered on top of the shine gate to strategize. Pit was unable to take in the strategizing due to his tummy ache and brain freeze from eating too much ice cream.
"They're just coming to join us on our vacation." The Great Fox and Halberd had both taken over the skyline. Fox got a buzz on his communicator.
"Landmasters are ready to be deployed," R.O.B 64 said. Fox tried to take his communicator off speaker phone, laughing nervously. A big banner was raised over the Halberd reading ‘Happy Invasion!’ in bright pink letters with hearts around them.
"Look, if these bozos didn't want us to overthrow their government, they should have learned how to arrest the right people," Falco said. Others voiced their agreement.
"Okay fine, sure, let's just go and take over the place we were trying to have a fun vacation at, why not." Palutena sighed. She doused Pit in healing light.
"I'm up."
Lucina held up Falcion, "For Roy, Ike, Mewtwo, and Meta Knight."
Olimar brought a proper start to the hostilities, having his Pikmin move the giant shine out of the shine gate and into the S.S Dolphin 2. Arwings charged out of the Great Fox and opened fire on the already gathered Delfino military, consisting of Piantas armed with guns and tanks. Pit joined them for air support.
Falco and Fox hurried to the bottom of the shine gate, where Landmasters were deployed for them. "I prefer the air, but this is good too." Falco activated the hover on his Landmaster and fired a shot at a random brutalist building, blowing it to pieces. The people stopped running away in terror to start cheering, then went back to running away in terror. "Worst artistic movement ever."
"Falco."
"I know Fox, geez just let me live a little will you." The two Landmasters rolled out in the direction of the Delfino prison.
Lucina and Jigglypuff handled fighting on the infantry level. Which gave Wii Fit Trainer the cover to creep through the ranks and find the high value targets.
Wii Fit Trainer grabbed the Pianta general’s arm and made him punch himself. "Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?" This continued until the general was dead, and began again once Wii Fit Trainer found a new victim.
Back in the prison, Mewtwo and Meta Knight had teleported out of their cells and forced Ike and Roy's open. Roy scratched his chin. "Hmm, freeing other people would help us, but it's going to be hard to tell who else here was wrongly convinced and who actually is a criminal. This is such a morally grey issue."
"I can just read people's minds to see if they're good or bad." Mewtwo crossed his arms. He looked at one cell. "That guy just stole some bread, we can let him out." Mewtwo went down the row of cells. "Political dissident, made a slightly mean social media post, murderer, rapist, criticized education system for not teaching phonics, child murderer, child who is a murderer, porn artist..."
"You keep doing that while we look for our weapons and break out." Ike led the way down the corridor. Then he turned around. "Dead end, let's go this way."
Lucario walked in. "Oh, you're already breaking yourselves out."
"Did you guys start a war over us?" Roy asked.
"Well..." From the jail windows everyone had a clear view of Jigglypuff approaching a cowering soldier.
"Please, no, please, have mercy-" the begging was cut off by Jigglypuff's rest attack, sending the soldier into the sky. Behind her the Meta-Knights were riding around on air ride machines and cutting down the military with no mercy.
“What are they doing?!” Meta Knight fell to the floor in agony, turning his gaze away from the window in disgust. “The graphic design on that banner is horrendous! And here I thought graphic design was their passion.”
The rest of the battle for Isle Delfino went by fast, it was hardly a fair fight. And now the Smashers were gathered in city hall around a long table. Instead of sitting down like the rest, Wii Fit Trainer was holding the tree pose. "So, do we just fix the court system and give these people back their freedom?" Lucina asked.
"Sounds about right to me. Running a country as dictator sounds like too much work with too much risk." Fox had his boots up on the perfectly good, finely crafted, expensive wood table.
"Yeah the money we'd get probably won't be worth it." Ike added. Those words set something off.
Olimar banged his fist on the perfectly good, finely crafted, expensive wood table. "I'll be the dictator. That way I can quit my job.” He was already thinking of ways to lure the president of Hocotate Freight to Delfino for some revenge.
"I'll be your general if you have a good enough salary." Falco said. Fox made no effort to hide the look of betrayal.
"Could I impose my new age religious views on the population as a state religion?" Wii Fit Trainer asked.
"Uh, sure."
"I better be in this state religion too," Palutena said. Jigglypuff held up a picture of Arceus.
"You're forgetting the reason this all started, the law. And after spending all that time sorting prisoners and reading their minds I would make a good choice for running the legal system," Mewtwo said.
"Uh, guys, isn't this imperialism or something? Which is bad." Pit looked around at all of the other Smashers, tapping his fingers together.
"Pit, if we run this place as our personal dictatorship you can get free ice cream whenever you want," Falco said.
"Wow I love imperialism."
The doors of city hall opened. Dark Pit limped in, covered in blood. "If you ever feel like joining a group of people who are evil because it sounds like fun, check what kind of evil they are first. Worst mistake of my life." Dark Pit collapsed.