Work Text:
His ass itched.
Snafu was sitting in the middle of bumfuck island nowhere, japs tryna blow his brains out, bugs tryna suck his blood out and who knows what else tryna do whatever the fuck else to make his life more miserable. And still his fuckin ass itched.
Bet they didn't show that in the war flicks back home.
Pulling a cigarette out of his waterlogged pocket, Snafu gazed around for something to entertain him in their mud soaked foxhole. It was the middle of the night and Eugene was asleep, his head cushioned on his pack, and Burgie was on watch. Unable to sleep himself and unwilling to wake Sledgehammer when lord knows sleep don't come easy around here, Burgie was his only source of entertainment till next watch.
"Was" being the key word there as after an hour and a half of being, poked, prodded, whistled and sung to, Burgie had snapped, said he was fed up with Snafus' harassment and could die of boredom for all he cared. Which was something Snafu was starting to think might actually happen. Lighting up his smoke he mentioned this to Burgie, only to be met with an exasperated sigh in response.
Wow the silent treatment Burgie, he thought, real mature.
So this left Snafu to find entertainment from beyond the foxhole. Problem was they weren't aloud to leave the foxholes till dawn and besides Snafu didn't actually like being shot at, so he knew he had to stay put.
Shuffling up the bank of their hole, he peeked over the edge and his gaze landed on Leyden and De'Leau in their foxhole adjacent. They were both awake, sitting opposite each other, an unusual sight for them. They were normally squashed together round one side, hip to hip, leaving the entire rest of the foxhole to whoever else was sharing with them. Snafu new this because it was something he teased Leyden for regularly.
Did ballpeen miss his mummy and need De'Leau to tuck him in? was a line he thought up earlier and was a bit miffed he couldn't use it now.
The longer he watched them whispering to each other, alone in the foxhole due to the moron they usually share with chucking a fit and going to sleep with some of his buddies, Snafu noticed two things. One was that Leyden was ment to be on watch but very clearly was not. And the second thing was what he was actually doing instead.
Instead of facing out of the hole looking for any movement that could signal the enemy creeping up on them, Leyden was facing De'Leau and they were engaged in some sort of soft-spoken, half whispered and giggled conversation. Stranger than that was the slight shuffling - and occasionally from De'Leaus end - swatting, that was going on.
After smoking his cigarette down to the filter watching this unusual display, snafu realised this was actually the perfect opportunity to poke fun at Leyden.
Taking only a few moments of deliberation to think of a good line, snafu propped one elbow out the foxhole and lent his head over to the neighbouring hole.
"Hey Leyden, quit playin footsie with your boyfriend! Bein on watch means keepin an eye out for japs, not De'Leaus' panties!"